


Man of honour.

by Rogue1987



Category: Football RPF, The Eagle | The Eagle of the Ninth - All Media Types
Genre: Abduction, Alternate Universe - Historical, Angst and Hurt/Comfort, Bottom Cris, Brother-Sister Relationships, Canon-Typical Violence, Cultural Differences, Denial of Feelings, Dominance, Enemies to Friends to Lovers, Eunuchs, Eventual Smut, Heavy Angst, Horseback Riding, M/M, Master/Slave, Past Rape/Non-con, Romantic Fluff, Serious Injuries, Slow Burn, Soul Bond, Soulmates, Top Leo, Wolves, dark themes
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2015-09-19
Updated: 2017-12-03
Packaged: 2018-04-21 14:10:50
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence, Rape/Non-Con
Chapters: 45
Words: 189,482
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/4832060
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Rogue1987/pseuds/Rogue1987
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Lionel Mac Cunoval is a slave for the Roman empire.<br/>After he blatantly defied his master, he is condemned to die and must face his death in the arena. </p><p>A stranger however, seems adamant on saving his miserable life.<br/>This stranger has a way of changing Leo's life forever. </p><p>For better or for worse.</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Leo.

**Author's Note:**

> So I told myself I wanted to make this a long time ago, but I never had the time or the confidence to start it.  
> But I decided to give it a go.  
> If it sucks then I'll take it down again.  
> Cris and Leo are my eternal OTP and I love that more people are getting on board with this couple now. 
> 
> Every time I see the Eagle movie, I saw Leo in Esca and Cristiano in Marcus. I wanted to make a cross over with them starring in the story so here it is.  
> I haven't read the Eagle books so a lot of this won't be accurate or canon.  
> English isn't my native language and all errors are mine.

_Calleva._

 

 

 

Thunder was rumbling through the air and Leo awoke with a jolt. He shivered as he tried to pull his old, stuffy cloak around him tighter but no warmth came from the blasted rug.

He folded his fingers together and pulled his knees up to his chest and wrapped his arms around them, trying to give himself some comfort.

Today was _the_ day.

He knew it.

He remembered it by heart.

As he turned around in his dirty cell, to look at the empty hallway, the Roman sentry gave him a stern look and muttered something that Leo could not quite comprehend. Although, judging from his spiteful expressions, it was definitely something insulting.

After he had defied up to his former master, a very cruel man who had used him for a whore as well as his personal torture device, he had been captured and sentenced to death in the arena.

Leo could still feel the bastards damp blood on his hands, after he had slid the knife over his masters private parts when he had tried to rape him again, unmanning him with a single slice of his father's family dagger.

The euphoric feeling was _still_ lingering in his heart, months after the event.

It had felt so empowering to fight back.

To let that bastard know that he was not some lowlife whore and that with losing his manhood, he would never touch Leo again, or any other British slave for that matter.

Leo had made certain of that.

His master's men had almost beaten him to death for his treacherous crime, but the master had demanded that they let him live, knowing very well that for Leo a death in the arena where everyone could see him fall would be an even greater shame.

Leo was going to _die_ today.  
He knew it, he could feel the imminent smell of death lingering in his bones. Whispering in his ears that he was coming for him. 

He had made his peace with his faith a long time ago and he almost secretly longed to be a free man again, even if it was in the afterlife.

There at least he would get to see his parents again, and his brothers and sisters. All of whom were violently butchered by the Romans long ago.

Leo had missed them everyday since they had been parted and was so wary of being alone.

For Leo had _loved_ his family with all his heart.

His father was Cunoval, lord of five hundred spears, chieftain of the Brigantes tribe and Leo had always been very proud to be his son.

He was a high born in their tribe, but with the Romans, everyone who was considered a barbarian didn't matter.

Everyone who was not born a Roman had no honour, no freedom and was to be used however they saw fit.  
Leo _despised_  Rome with every fibre of his being.

Hated everything it represented and everything it had done and cursed them for everything that they were about to do.

The door to his cell opened and the sentry shoved a small wooden bowl of water inside, but once again, there was no food.

Leo had not eaten anything in three days now, but surprisingly he barely felt the hunger clench at his stomach these days.

Hunger had been replaced with sheer anticipation and a hint of fear that was treacherously pulling on his intestines and weighing on his soul.

As much as Leo tried to deny it he felt agony take a hold of his better arguments and despite himself he was dreading the arena.

He knew that this kind of a life was not for him, he always had been the _worst_ slave in the world, but now that death was howling at him a small shard of him wished that it could be different.

That he could be spared somehow.  
But it would be no use.

Leo would not live if it meant that he had to stay a slave.

He would rather be dead than to _ever_ serve a Roman again.  
He drank the water quietly and noticed that the thunder had finally seized again and the air became more quiet.

After a few more hours the sentry finally came to get him.

Leo braced himself as the man stepped inside, binding his hands together with shackles and leading him through the tunnels toward the main gate, where the sand of the arena was waiting for him, as well as the screams of the hundreds of Romans who had come to watch him die.

The gate was opened and the owner of the pit shoved Leo forward, pushing a small sword in one hand and an even smaller shield in the other.  
Leo stared at his weapon and growled irritated.

They had given him a blunt sword and a mediocre shield. How utterly insulting. 

His former master was sitting in the stands, and Leo could feel his eyes burning a whole into his back while his men shouted horrible things at him.

The gladiator he was suppose to fight was standing a few feet away from him, face hidden away behind a spiked helmet and he wore shoulder and leg armor.  
He was wielding a perfect sword, long, sharp and stealth and Leo knew that he there was no chance he could defeat this man.

Not in his current condition. Not while he had not eaten anything for days.

Under normal circumstances Leo was fairly confident that he could kill this man in a heartbeat for he was a very able warrior, but he could not win today.

That much was instantly certain to him.

So he decided to give up.  
He threw his sword and shield on the sand and let his arms fall against his small waist.

He refused to entertain the crowd by fighting for them. He would not lower himself into the gutter to entertain these disgraceful people.  

The gladiator was confused for a moment and hesitated on how to pursue, but after a small nod from Leo's former master the man struck him down to the floor. Leo tasted the sand on his lips and nearly choked. 

_Ah an arrangement then, of course._

He should have known his former master would send only the best to made sure he would be killed.  
The gladiator kicked Leo in the stomach when he was down and Leo inhaled deep, unwilling to show the crowd any signs of weakness.

He was a son of the Brigantes. He would not beg for mercy, or cry out in pain.  
Leo was far too _proud_ for that.

The crowd's furious chants were raining down onto him, screaming that he had to fight, that he was a coward.  
But Leo refused to participate for he was not only proud, but he was also quite stubborn.

The gladiator put the cold tip of his blade onto Leo's heaving chest and awaited further instructions from the crowd.  
People start shouting _'kill'''_  all around him and Leo closed his eyes for a moment, feeling death approaching swiftly now. Feeling like an old friend. 

He thought back to the times where he used to go hunting with his brothers, when they would ride through the vastness of the woods and laughed together until their eyes watered and their chests hurt.

He felt the touch of the grass under his fingers and could almost taste his homeland, so close and yet so far away.

Oh how he longed to be _home_ again, safe in his mother's warm and welcoming arms.

He craved for this endless nightmare to be over.

But suddenly, in the mist of all the shouting a solitary voice escaped the rest of the crowd and Leo heard it shout: _''life!''_

He opened his brown eyes and looked around for the source of the sound, finding it in a dark haired man who was sitting not too far from him.  
His eyes locked with the man's and he stared intently into the dark brown eyes of the surprisingly handsome man.

Leo let out an involuntary gasp and could not help himself from staring at the man's beautifully sculptured, olive skinned features and a warm feeling crept over his spine.

''Come on get your thumbs up! Life! Let him live!'' the strange man shouted as he desperately tried to convince other people to save Leo's life.

Leo noticed that other people seem to be going with the man's suggestion to let him live, for there are more thumbs being raised up instead of down and when the stadium seems to be in unison ( the only exception is Leo's former master who defiantly keeps pressing his thumb down ) the gladiator slid the sword off his chest and Leo sighed deep, feeling the hint of relief washing over him.

As he was being escorted back into the cells, he exchanged one final glare with the man who has just saved his life and he nods at him. The man did not nod back but turned around and lifted a crutch to make his way downstairs.

Leo felt a strange aghast disappointment come over his heart and he suddenly felt completely alone again.

When the man had looked at him, it had almost felt like Leo had met an old friend.

As if he already knew the man, which of course he did not.

The guard put him back in his old cell without uttering another word and Leo wondered what was going to happen to him.

After a short while and old man who had sat next to the man who saved Leo's life entered the cell with the slave trader.

''My name is Aquila and I have bought you as a body slave for my nephew, the man who saved your life earlier. He is wounded and needs help while he's recovering. So you are coming with me,'' the old man said and Leo nodded.

''Yes domine,'' he whispered, trying to sound as docile as he could but obedience had never been his strong suit.  
''What is your name?'' the man asked and Leo was slightly taken aback by that question.

No master had ever asked him this for none had ever taken an interest in him. They had always simply called him 'slave' and had not cared for his true name.  
''It's Leo domine,'' he told him and the man frowned.

''That is a strange name, Leo,'' he mused and Leo shrugged.

''To a Roman perhaps, yes,'' he said instantly, cursing himself for his directness.

The old man however did not seem to mind his boldness, he simply chuckled and squeezed him in his shoulder.

''Yes you will make a fine _match_ for my nephew, he is a defiant one himself. Stubborn too, but strong. Like you,''

''I'm not strong domine, I'm only a  _slave,''_ Leo said callously and the old man extended his hand, placing it on Leo's chin and forced him to look him in his clear blue eyes.

''You might be a slave Leo, but I treat my slaves very properly.  
No abuse, no raping and I feed them well. I'm merely hiring your services so that you can befriend my nephew and help him heal.

What he needs right now is a friend who will understand him and I think you will be able to achieve that.

He saved you for a reason, I believe it was because he saw a kindred spirit in you.  
You will come with me and while I know that it's not the same as freedom, I will give you as much space and leniency as you desire,'' Aquila vowed.

Leo felt dumbfounded for a moment, his jaw dropping in amazement.

''You are not like any other Roman I have ever met,'' he murmured and the old man smiled friendly.

''Then I am sorry that you have never met a _proper_ Roman, my dear boy,''

''As am I domine, as am I,'' Leo agreed.

''Let's get you out of this disgusting cell, our carriage awaits,'' Aquila said and Leo followed the friendly old man to the carriage and was surprised when he is allowed to take the reins of the horses and sit next to his new master.

''I saw you looking at the horses when you walked up, so I assumed that you like horses and probably know your way with them,'' Aquila explained when Leo had shot him a stunned look as he had handed him the reins.

''Oh yes, I am domine. Most Britons are quite good with horses and I'm no different,'' Leo said and the old man hummed amused.

''Good, I will show you directions then,''

An hour later they arrived at the villa and Leo's jaw slacked down in amazement again.  
The villa was near a large lake and it was built with white marble stones and a typical Roman roof.

However it looked very different from the villas that Leo was used to, it looked warmer somehow and more British than Roman in a way.

Leo halted the horses and jumped from the carriage, patting them on their necks, feeling the warm fur under his skin.

Leo had missed horses. He could still feel the wind on his skin when he had rode with his brothers through the woods.

''Do you want me to look after them domine?'' Leo asked, begging to the gods that the answer would be yes.

But the old man shook his head and gently nudged him inside. ''We have stable boys for that, dear boy, but if you desire to be around the horses you may do so tomorrow, but for now I want you to meet my nephew,''

Leo felt a sudden piercing fear creep through his system and he could swear he could hear his heartbeat pounding in his ears as he followed the old man to his new master's chamber.

''Stephanos!'' a tormented voice cried out from behind the door.  
Leo recognized it as the man who saved his life and swallowed thickly.

 _This_   _was_   _it_.  
Aquila slid the door open and gestured Leo to wait behind the door.

''I have decided that Stephanos is too old to serve two masters. I bought you your own body slave,''

''I do not need my own slave,'' the other man objected, his voice proud and stubborn.

''Cristiano,'' Aquila reprimanded, sounding like a father who was trying to teach his child a lesson.

Ah Cristiano, so that was his name, Leo mused. 

''I should have been consulted in this!'' Cristiano snapped 

''Yes well, you weren't. Slave!'' Aquila called out and Leo stepped forward, sliding out of the comfortable shadow of the door and stepping into the light.

Cristiano's face faltered when he saw him and he quickly averted his eyes, gripping at his walking stick more tightly and Leo could tell that he was furious.

''His name is Leo,'' Aquila said and he gave Leo a little nudge forward before leaving them alone in Cristiano's chambers.

A long silence filled the air and Leo was unsure what to say or how to react.  
Cristiano looked at him once but again, cloaks his eyes and exhaled deep before he spoke.

''I have no use for you,''

''I had no wish to be bought,'' Leo retorted, unable to hold his anger inside.

''Then you should have run, my uncle would not have stopped you,'' Cristiano suggested but Leo stepped a little closer and locked his furious eyes with Cristiano's dark gems. 

 _Run?_ What kind of a coward does this man take him for? 

''I owe you a debt of honour.  
I hate everything you stand for, _everything_ you are. But you saved me and therefore I'm bound to serve you. I'm a son of the _Brigantes_ , who have never broken their word,'' he said and he revealed his father's small dagger from behind his back and threw it at Cristiano's feet.

''My father's dagger is my bond,''

A long and thick silence lingered in the air before Cristiano picked the dagger from the floor and put it onto a wooden table, folding it neatly into a linen towel with a small nod of approval.

''You're dismissed,'' he said with a stern face and Leo bowed his head as curt as he can before making his way out of the room.

Leo left the room with a ton of questions and confusion building up in his mind as he wonders where he has ended up this time.

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This was just a short intro.  
> Please let me know what you think. <3


	2. Cristiano.

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Cristiano's leg needs to be reopened.  
> Leo is forced to hold him down. 
> 
> It's interesting to say the least.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So two chapters in two days.  
> I hope to update this again frequently but alas, I'm quite busy during the week so it might take a while.  
> Just warning you.

_Calleva_ , _Cristiano's_ _chambers_.

 

 

 

Cristiano's chest was heaving up and down rapidly as he desperately tried to calm himself.

The surgeon his uncle had hired told him that his leg needed to be reopened, for there is still metal lingering in the flesh of his upper left leg.

''Well if it needs to be done, let's do it-right?'' his uncle said and Cristiano shot him a grim nod.

''Don't worry, it will be over before you know it. I've got the best knives in the business,'' the surgeon assured him but Cristiano was not comforted in the slightest.

He _hated_  surgeons.

He didn't trust them, didn't like them and he could not wait for the surgery to be over.

Cristiano made a silent prayer to Mithras, lord of light, protector of soldiers, to keep him safe and vowed to himself to sacrifice a white pigeon to him if he made it through the surgery unscathed.

He took his necklace out from under his tunic, revealing the carved out wooden eagle his father had given him, the morning he had rode off into the forest, never to return again and kisses it gently.

That little eagle was his most cherished and beloved possession, for it was the last remaining piece of his father that existed. 

His new body slave Leo, was standing in the doorway, as silent as a shadow, arms folded together and an unreadable expression on his harsh features.

Cristiano was still unsure about how he felt towards his new slave.

He had no use for a body slave and wished that his uncle had consulted him before he had made such rash decisions by himself, but alas he was not so lucky.

It was his own fault mostly, for he had saved Leo's life in the arena, obviously awakening a certain interest in his uncle's mind which had convinced the old man that buying Leo for him was a great idea.

His uncle had asked him numerous times why he had saved Leo's life but Cristiano still did not have an answer to that.  
For he simply did not know the truth himself.

All he knew was that when he watched Leo throw his armor to the sand he felt something stirring in his chest.  
Something _familiar_.

He had acted before he even realized it and started vouching for Leo's life, shouting at the crowd to spare him.

Maybe it was Leo's beaming _pride_ that had caught his eyes, or the way he defiantly refused to fight the gladiator with those brown eyes shimmering with cool fury in them.

Whatever it may have been, Cristiano had advocated for his life and won. And now they were stuck together. 

Leo had been spared and Cristiano felt content at that, knowing that he had _saved_ a British life for once instead of ending it, like he had done on the battlefield.

What he was not counting on however was his uncle's actions, leading to Leo having to serve him as a body slave.

The thought alone was degrading to Cristiano, that his uncle thought that he needed someone to help him recover from his injuries.

It made him feel as small and petty as a child and he wished to recover swiftly so that he could tend to his own needs and set Leo free.

For Cristiano was one of the few Romans who did not approve or believed in slavery.

He knew that was extraordinary behavior for a Roman, but he was very adamant and headstrong in his point of view.

When he was little he had taken pleasure in secretly freeing his mother's slaves, whenever she was not watching him and he befriended most of the children and treated all of them with respect and care.

His mother was a stubborn woman and kept on buying new slaves to replace the ones he had set free, but when she had died a few years ago, Cristiano set all of the current slaves free and tended to his own needs.

The rest of the village talked about it naturally, saying what a disgrace he was to Rome, how he was fully un-Roman in his behavior but Cristiano didn't care about such accusations.

His family's name was defiled already, so why should he care?  
For his father was the famous Centurion of the cursed ninth legion.

The one that had marched north of Hadrian's wall, searching for glory but never to return again.  
His father had lost the golden eagle standard and therefor his family's honour.

When Cristiano became an adult he joined the army, making the rank of Centurion quickly thanks to his endless ambition. He joined the army in an attempt to restore his father's good name.

When he had finished his training they asked him where he wanted to be stationed and he answered instantly, without the shadow of a doubt: _Britain_.

The place where his father had lost the eagle, the place where his father had probably lost his life, right there in the mist.

Most of the other officers said he was crazy, going to Britain of all places but Cristiano ignored them and went out on his own mission.

He had joined a fortress near Hadrian's wall and noticed that his men did not like him, they had recognized his name and mocked him behind his back for being the son of a cursed Centurion.

But when he had saved their lives during a nightly raid by the Britons, they looked at him with a newfound form of respect.

The Britons had taken a patrol he had sent out captive the next day and it had lead to a ferocious battle, where Cristiano could _finally_ prove his worth once again.

He charged up to a chariot and threw his spear at the driver, causing the chariot to fall down on top of him.

After that, everything went dark.

When he had woken up he was in his uncle's house, greeted by the old man who he had never met before.

They had brought him to his estate in a shaky mule cart and he had been unconscious for nearly three days.

After two weeks of absolute misery and constant pain, where Stephanos his uncle's old slave, took care of him day and night, he was finally allowed to go out into town.

With a walking stick and helping hands of course.  
That was the moment when he had met Leo.

The strange, defiant, little slave who changed so many things for him.

''Some wine,'' Cristiano ordered, when his uncle and the surgeon left to prepare everything for the surgery.

Leo walked forward, poured some of the red liquid into a cup, folded his hand under Cristiano's head and helped him sit up so that he could drink.

He said nothing but his brown eyes seemed to be radiating again, an even darker expression in them this time, but still unreadable as ever.

 _''Thank you,''_ Cristiano said after he swallowed and Leo opened his mouth to say something but at the last moment decided to purse his lips together again, swallowing his comment.

''What is it? You may speak freely,'' Cristiano said, trying to give the young man a supportive smile but failing due to his pain.  
''Nothing domine,''

''You're lying,'' Cristiano noticed and Leo's lips twitched up a bit, into an almost smile.

''Speak your mind Leo, I would _never_ harm you,''

''You should not _thank_ a slave, it makes them stronger and makes you look inferior,'' Leo blurted out and Cristiano's jaw faltered, his eyes twinkling amused.  
''Indeed? Who told you this?''

''My former masters and the fellow slaves I met,'' Leo shrugged.

''Well I guess I cannot agree with them on this subject, for I prefer to treat my slaves well. So I will thank you if you help me, whether you like it or not,'' Cristiano said solemnly and Leo gnawed on his lower lip, staring at him in amazement.

''You are a _strange_ master,'' Leo said before he could stop himself and Cristiano laughed heartedly now.

''I guess I am, would you prefer a cruel one then?'' he teased but Leo twisted his head.

''No I would not,'' he contemplated, and Cristiano saw his expression darken again and he knew that he has said something stupid.

Leo must have been treated horribly by his former masters, maybe even sexually abused and here he was, making jokes about cruelty.

He really was an idiot.

''I'm sorry Leo, I shouldn't have-'' he offered but Leo raised his hand to silence him and Cristiano obeyed.

''Don't apologize to me, I do not want your pity! I'm a slave, start treating me like one!'' he barked out and Cristiano sighed deep.

 _''I will not,''_ he said, locking his eyes with Leo's and gazing at the dark gems with a hint of stubbornness in his own.

''As you wish,'' Leo conceded after a long silence but his eyes are bursting with fire and unsaid anger that Cristiano wishes he would unleash onto him.

But Leo does not.  
Instead he rose to his feet and walked to the door.

''May I go, domine?''

''You may,'' Cristiano complied and Leo slipped out as quickly as his legs could carry him.

Cristiano was left with a ton of questions and doubts which were only interrupted when the surgeon came to tell him that everything was set for the surgery.

Stephanos and Leo had to help him to the other chamber, Leo reluctantly so it seemed, his expressions hardened by their intense conversation and a wildness in his eyes that scared Cristiano a bit.

He knew that Leo won't hurt him, he promised that when he gave him his fathers dagger and Cristiano believed that he would never break his word. He was extremely good at reading people and could tell that Leo was being sincere.

Cristiano also knew that a family heirloom like that was not something that anyone should ever have to cast aside to their master, so he decided to keep it safe for Leo, until he was able to free him.

When he would do so he would return the dagger to his rightful owner, for he was a man of his word as well.

He was painfully aware that he could not free Leo for a long time yet, not until he had fully recovered from his wounds.

Also it would be disrespectful to his uncle to free a slave he has bought specifically for him, to relieve Stephanos from caring for two masters.

Leo may have been his _'property'_ but as long as Cristiano lived under his uncle's roof, he would respect his rules and his uncle had for some unknown reason forced Leo upon him and therefor he would honour that decision.

But it was not easy for Cristiano, to have such a defiant little slave around who challenged him in everything he did.

A part of him found it amusing though, that Leo had such strong opinions of his own, but he knew in his heart that their forced relationship would never be easy.

They would surely fight about most things for Leo had a very different view on the world compared to Cristiano.

As Leo slumped him down on the comfort, he gazed at Cristiano again, a hint of compassion in his eyes when the surgeon used straps to bind Cristiano down, like he was an animal that had walked into a trap.

''You can go now,'' Cristiano breathed out, shivering completely now, but the surgeon shook his head.  
''No, I need the slave to hold you down,''

''Can't my uncle do it?'' Cristiano asked, begging to Jupiter to be free of Leo's uncomfortable stares, feeling the heated anger radiating at him from Leo's body, but he refused to look at him.

''Me? No. I've grown tired of the sight of blood. Specially the blood of someone I'm quite fond of,'' his uncle declares as he pat his shoulder.

''Be strong,'' he whispered in his ear before he left the room.  
And then it was just the three of them.

Cristiano, his _angry_ British slave and the surgeon with his blasted butcher knives.

He swallowed nervously and tried to convince his body to keep breathing, that it will all be over soon, but his body tensed up immensely when the surgeon pressed onto his leg to examine the exact place to cut.

''Hold him down slave,'' the man ordered and Leo, reluctantly, moved forward stepping into Cristiano's space hesitant, locking his intense eyes with his as he pressed his arms over his chest and locked his hands with his shoulders.

 _''Harder!''_ the man snarled at Leo, who pressed his entire waist on top of Cristiano's chest, placing his right hand on the left side of his face, holding onto him tight.

Their heads are so close together that Cristiano could actually feel Leo's stifled breaths caressing over his cheeks and he swallowed hard.

''Take a deep breath now and exhale,'' the surgeon barked out and Cristiano complied.

Father Janus, let me live, I beg you, I'm not quite finished in this life yet, he mumbled breathlessly. 

As he exhaled, he could feel the knife sliding into his upper leg and he winced loud, groaning helplessly as the butcher continues his work.

The last thing he saw was the compassion on Leo's face before everything turned dark.

When he woke up, his throat was dry and his head was hurting him.

His leg felt numb and as he groaned soft. He could see a dark shadow moving forward to his comfort and Leo's face hovered over him.

''Some water,'' he said and it's more a plea then an actual order and Leo complied.

He held the bowl of water in front of Cristiano's face, supported his head upward and helped him drink several cups until his throat was relieved.

''Did I shame myself?'' Cristiano asked and Leo shook his head assuring.  
''Thank you,'' Cristiano said, letting out a huge breath of air in his relief.

He had been worried that he had screamed like a child during surgery, or that he had soiled himself but luckily he had not.

''Do you need anything domine?'' Leo asked and Cristiano nodded.

''Yes, I would like you to tell me a story, to help me settle into a dreamless sleep,''  
Leo was obviously stunned this time for his jaw dropped.

''A _story_ domine?'' he repeated and Cristiano nodded once again.

''Yes, tell me about yourself if you like. Where you are from or-'' he seized his attempts when he saw the hidden pain in Leo's eyes.

''Forgive me, I feel unwell. May I be excused?'' Leo begged and Cristiano saw no other choice then to comply.

''Of course, I hope you will be back tonight Leo, I need watching during the night,''

''I will be back soon domine, I assure you,'' Leo vowed and he turned on his heels and left a slightly starstruck Cristiano behind.

Cristiano tried to rest a bit for the remaining afternoon, but he found himself unable to shake the tormented expression on Leo's face.

Whenever he tried to sleep, his face haunted him, plaguing his thoughts and he wondered what the world had done to Leo that made him hate his people so much.

Why he _refused_  to tell him anything about himself.

Cristiano could force Leo to tell him the truth, seeing how he was the master and Leo only a slave an therefore  _obligated_ to answer him but he did not want to force Leo into anything.

A part of him knew that Leo had probably been forced into far too many terrible things with his former masters and he won't be like that.  

Cristiano vowed to himself to find out the truth, one way or another.

Leo may have been stubborn but so was he and he would not give up in his search for answers.

After a long time, he does finally fall asleep for a short while, only to be awoken by Leo who has slipped back into his room, carrying a small cot in his sturdy arms, and placing it down next to the fireplace, across from Cristiano's bed.

''Your uncle said I should sleep here tonight, to make sure you were safe and to tend to your... _needs,''_ Leo said putting a lot of emphasis on the last word.

''As long as you don't snore that is fine with me,'' Cristiano joked and Leo shot him a tight smile.

''I never snore,'' he chipped.

''Can you help me relieve myself?'' Cristiano asked with a shameful nod to the bedpan and Leo handed him the bedpan and helped Cristiano out of his breeches so he could finally empty his full bladder.

Leo tactically averted his eyes to the left, clearly sensing Cristiano's shame and discomfort and when he was certain Cristiano was done he helped him back into his underclothes and settled him back down in the bed.

''I need to change your bandages,'' he said with a nod to the bloody bandage that was draped over his leg.  
''All right,''

Leo brought over a fresh, sand colored bandage and gently rolled the dirty one off his leg, cautiously investigating the wound, to see if the surgeon had done his job properly.

''How does it look?'' Cristiano could not resist to ask.

''It looks well, he's sown you up well and I saw him taking the last pieces of metal from your thigh, so you will be fine,'' Leo assured him, as he put a damp cloth on the fresh wound, cleaning the dried blood off of it. Cristiano hissed. 

''But I will probably keep a limb for the rest of my life won't I?'' Cristiano asked.

He could have asked the surgeon this question but he knew that Leo would always answer him truthfully whereas the butcher might lie to him.

''Yes, you probably will,'' Leo concurred and Cristiano felt tears sting in his eyes.

''Perfect, I was already a defiled man, cursed by all the gods, a disgrace for my people. Now I have to be a cripple as well. Being only half a man,'' he spat out, fury and regret raging through his heart.

''Limping does not make anyone any less of a man domine,'' Leo said instantly, his intense eyes harsh and reprimanding, as if Cristiano were a small child that needed to be chastised.

''What do you know about it!'' Cristiano bit out, cursing his own anger and self pity.

''My brother lost a leg during a battle once, leaving behind only a stump. He survived and kept on fighting with us whenever you Romans attacked us. He could still sit on his horse, shooting arrows at whoever came near him. Don't you _dare_ tell me that he was any less of a man! My brother was a hero among my people, who never once complained about pain or wallowed in self pity like you. You're still a man, you can still walk properly. _Get_ _over yourself,''_ Leo lashed out, folding his arms together furiously.

Cristiano again was amazed and stunned by Leo's words and he felt a new found respect for his slave.

Leo had shown him a piece of himself, a piece of his family and Cristiano respected him for his crass words.

He also realized that Leo had been right: he was playing the pity card and needed to desist that instantly.

Leo however mistook his long silence for anger and crouched down at Cristiano's face, bowing his head to him, revealing his back.

''What in Jupiter's name are you doing Leo?'' Cristiano asked, voice simmered down to a whisper.

''I was out of line to you, so I'm waiting for you to beat me, I can fetch you a whip if you like,''

Cristiano's eyes became larger and he cupped Leo's face and tugged him to his feet as gentle as he could.

''I have no _desire_ to beat you Leo, you merely told me the truth and I respect you for that,'' he said as he slid his thumb over Leo's pale, porcelain cheek.

Leo's eyes met his and when he saw the intensity in Cristiano's eyes he pulled his face loose from his hand as quickly as possible.

''But I misbehaved domine,'' Leo repeated but Cristiano shook his head.

''I told you before: I treat my people properly, and I always mean what I say,''

A short knock on the door interrupted their heated conversation and Stephanos entered the room, announcing that supper was ready and he walked inside with a tray of food for both of them.

Bread and boiled fish for today and Cristiano suddenly found himself hungry at the smell of the food.  
Stephanos handed Leo the tray and left again, the awkward silence quickly sliding back into the room.

''May I go eat with the other slaves domine?'' Leo asked and Cristiano felt a disappointed jab in his chest.

_He doesn't want to be around me, I make him feel uncomfortable, he told himself._

''Of course,'' he said, cursing himself for not being able to be a stricter master to his slave.  
He could order Leo to stay in a heartbeat but he was so weak.

He hated ordering people around and Leo seemed to have caught up on that fact.  
Leo placed the tray onto his lap, made sure he had everything he needed to eat and turned around to leave.

He did not return until nightfall.

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Let me know what you think.  
> I hope you liked it <3


	3. Reaching a truce.

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Leo makes it back to Cristiano's room by nightfall like he promised himself and catches his master doing something private.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So it's been a pretty busy week, but luckily I'm off a lot next week so I have a lot of time to write this story. 
> 
> I hope you guys are still with me on this and that you like this new chapter.

_Leo_.

 

 

 

Leo busied himself with chores for the remaining afternoon and decided to go into the kitchen to help Stephanos prepare dinner.  
The old Greek slave was always friendly to him and chattered constantly but for once, Leo did not mind the distraction.

Whenever the old man stopped speaking his mind lingered to Cristiano and the heated discussion they had shared a few hours before.

Leo knew that he has crossed an unbreakable line by speaking his mind and boldly walking out of his master's room _three_ times, but for some mysterious reason his master stayed determined not to punish him.

His current master was unlike all other Romans that Leo has ever met.

He had kindness without limits and he treated Leo like a familiar, almost like a friend, almost like an _equal_ and it gives Leo a very foreign feeling. He was so used to being treated like garbage that he feared that all this kindness would destroy him.

And as much as he hated to admit it: seeing his master being sliced open like a side of pork made him look at him very differently.

He would have thought that the sight of one more hurt Roman would be a pleasure to his eyes, but instead it seemed to hurt him and when Cristiano's pained eyes searched his for support, Leo found himself unable to look away from them and he stared back into those dark gems with compassion.

Leo groaned at the thought.  
He had given a Roman _compassion_.

How had he dared to lower himself like this?

It was bad enough that he had to be a slave to Rome, but now he had given his master compassion, which had obviously lead to his master's excessive familiarity after his surgery.

Leo still _hated_  Rome, he would always hate Rome, but Cristiano had changed many things in his mind.  
He confused him profoundly and Leo wished on some level that he had never met him. That Cristiano had just let him die in that Arena.

He shook his head warily.

 _'No you cannot be a hypocrite,'_ he tells himself.  
_'You were the one who wished to be saved in the Arena, yet you forgot to specify as to whom you wished would save you._

 _You cannot be too picky, just be glad you were spared._  
_But he's a Roman, and I swore my allegiance to him, I gave him my father's dagger._

 _Yes for you owed him your life however, that does not mean you owe him anything else,'_ he said to himself and Stephanos tore him away from his thoughts as he re-entered the kitchen carrying a plucked chicken in his hands, that he lathered with oil and placed over the fire to roast.

''Who are you speaking to lad?''

''Oh nobody,'' Leo said evasively, returning to his job of boiling the eggs.

''Were you praying to your gods?'' Stephanos asked intently but Leo shook his head.

''No, I don't believe in our gods anymore,'' he shrugged and he saw a wave of amazement and shock wash over the old man's wrinkled features.

''What kind of a man does not believe in the gods?''

''A man who has already lost _everything_ old man, if there were any gods they would have protected my family like I asked them to.  
They would not have let me become a slave to these _horrid_ Romans. Use your head you silly old man! If there were any gods then where is the justice in the world huh? Trust me: there are no gods. There is _only_ free will,'' Leo said merciless and the old man shrunk under his words as if he were afraid that Leo would be struck by lightning for his blasphemy.

And yet nothing happened, much to Leo's delight, proving his point.

Stephanos leaned up to place his calloused hand on Leo's cheeks when he figured the coast was clear and sighed deep.

''You _poor_ boy, whoever damaged you so much that you've lost faith deserves to be struck dead on the spot. I understand why you feel like this, but unfortunately for you; you are misinformed. The gods are _real_ my boy, I've seen them,''

Leo rolled his eyes and took the boiling pot off the fire, emptying the hot content and replaced it with cold water from the pit.  
''Oh really? So what do they look like?'' he mocked but Stephanos shook his head patiently, ignoring the insult.

''I have not seen them as actual people dear boy, I have seen them in _everything_ around me. In all the good and the blessings that has happened to me over the years, in all the elements around us. The gods live on earth through _us_ , they see the world through our eyes,''

''You speak of blessings, but how can you speak like that when you're merely a slave? You have no free will,'' Leo argued.  

Stephanos sat both of them down on two chairs and took his metal slave tablet and stroked his long fingers over it with a warm smile before he locked his blue eyes with Leo's brown ones.

He kept a close eye on the roasting chicken and Leo closed his eyes in enjoyment when the entire kitchen filled up with the delicious cooking smells. 

''You need to listen to me now, for this is very important. Master Aquila has tried to release me from his services for twenty years and yet I've always refused him,''

Leo interjected feeling completely dumbfounded and said: ''Wait-you continuously _refused_ the offer to become a free man?''

''Indeed I did,''  
''But why in heaven's name would you do such a foolish thing?''

''If you allow me to finish an actual sentence, maybe I can tell you,'' Stephanos said, a hidden twinkle in his eyes and Leo pursed his lips together and waited politely.

''I grew up in a region of Greece called Athens. It was one of the most beautiful cities you have ever seen, peaceful and prosper. I had a wife and two daughters and we lived on a farm near the edges of the city.

One day my farm was raided by brigands who viciously murdered my wife and daughters before my very eyes.

I managed to escape and fled to the sea where I boarded a ship to Rome. Arriving there I tried to make a living farming but alas I was picked up by a slave trader and used as a kitchen slave with a cruel Roman family.

After twenty years they sold me to another master who was even crueler.  
I escaped with a group of men and we tried to flee north but we were caught by a group of soldiers.

One of them was master Aquila and being a Centurion he shielded me from the rest of his men and took me home after the war.

He treated me like a friend, like an equal and he tried to free me after only two weeks, but I refused. I wanted to stay here and serve him, for I had nothing left in this world.

Serving a _good_ man for once gave me a purpose, and in him I found redemption and happiness.  
So I stayed and refused him many more times after that.

I don't see myself as his slave anymore, I'm his friend and I would not want to be anywhere else in the world. I'm _happy_ here Leo, this is a good home and an honorable family.

I understand that you're hesitant toward them, but I can assure you that they will never harm you or treat you poorly.

The Aquila family is unlike any other Roman family, for they live with kindness and compassion.

The old master bought you for his nephew because he knew that young Cristiano needed a friend. Not a slave. _A friend,''_ Stephanos said. Leo felt too stumped for a decent answer and got severely lost into his own thoughts for a long time.

''But I do not want to be his friend! I mean, I'm certain that master has lots of friends,'' Leo argued desperately but Stephanos shook his head again and Leo sighed.

''No he does not. In fact, he has no friends whatsoever. He was a _cursed_ Centurion in the military, everybody shunned him like a leper. Until he saved countless lives by valiantly charging against a chariot with no chance of prevailing and he almost lost his leg. And they repay him by handing him an _'honorable discharge,'_  
The young master has lost everything, the chance of redeeming his father's bad name, his honour and his pride. He saved lives and got punished for it. When he found out he was being discharged he burst out into tears, screaming and shouting. All he had ever wanted was to be a soldier, and now he's lost everything that is dear to him. Just try to be friendly to him every now and then. Treat him like he's still a very able man, and not like a cripple. He cares for you, I've seen it in his eyes when he saved you in the Arena. You've awoken something inside of him and he needs you to heal, in more ways than one,'' Stephanos told him and Leo gnawed on his lower lip nervously, his thoughts and fears nearly consuming him alive.

The old man arose from his seat and started preparing the chicken but Leo was lost in his own confusing thoughts to notice. 

This was all so strange to him, a slave who would prefer to stay a slave instead of a free man, his bizarre masters who kept on treating Leo with such delicacy and kindness. It was all too much.

''Thank you Stephanos, I will try to be a bit nicer to him from now on,'' he heared himself say.

''Very good, why don't you go bring him his dinner and spend the night with him? I'm certain he's very anxious to see you again,''

Stephanos handed Leo another tray with bread, chicken and eggs on it and offered him a wooden bottle of red wine and shooed Leo out of the kitchen.  
Leo felt his feet move automatically while his mind was still racing about the strange afternoon he had just experienced.

At Cristiano's chamber door he halted a while, wondering whether he should knock or not, but after a while he decided to just sneak in. Cristiano might be asleep and he would hate to wake him.

As he gently pulled the door open and slid inside, almost dropping the plate due to his poor balance with one hand, he can see that Cristiano was very much awake.

His master was kneeling at the altar near the fireplace, the little wooden eagle firmly clutched in his hands for he touched that thing about a hundredth times a day, and he was whispering intently.

There were three white candles burning on the table and blood was being dropped into a small wooden bowl.

The moronic _idiot_  was sitting on a little rug on the stone hard floor while he should be in his _bed_ , resting his freshly mangled leg. Not that Leo cared if he was in pain.

Of course he did not. But his master was a proper moron for risking another bleed so that he could pray.  

Leo could not properly hear what Cristiano was saying and when he was convinced that his master had not discovered his presence yet, he put the tray down on the table silently and sneaked forward to get a closer look at the sighting.

The palm of Cristiano's left hand was bleeding into the bowl and Leo almost yelped, but pursed his lips together just in time and slid back into the shadow of the pillar.

After a while he wondered why Cristiano still had not discovered him yet and if he could not smell the food nearby.  
It seemed very strange that a trained soldier allowed anyone to sneak up on him like that.

''How long are you going to linger there in the shadows Leo?'' Cristiano's voice suddenly asked and Leo jumped up startled.

As he shuffled forward, his cheeks flush dark red, revealing himself.

''Not any longer _domine_ , but if I can ask: to whom do you pray?'' Leo asked, somewhat curious, somewhat trying to distract Cristiano from getting angry at him for spying on him.

Cristiano turned around to face Leo, clasped his walking stick to haul himself upward and sat back down on his sofa with a painful grimace.  
''To Mithras, the lord of light,''

''You surely pray to him a lot,'' Leo noticed dryly as he poured his master a cup of wine and Cristiano nodded, taking eager sips of the red content. 

''Of course, after all he is the patron of _soldiers_ , the one who keeps us safe during the long watches of the night. Take some wine for yourself as well,'' Cristiano ordered and Leo obeyed with a thankful nod. 

A darkness and a deep feeling of sadness washed over Cristiano's face and Leo could feel the pain slipping into his own soul.

This was a sensitive subject, especially now that he knew that his master could not ever be a proper soldier again.

''Let me tend to your wound, and while we're speaking of wounds: I feel obligated to berate you a little bit for kneeling on the floor while you just had surgery and need to _rest_ your bad leg,'' he reprimanded with a nod to Cristiano's mangled leg and his master shrugged nonchalant, a flattered grin on his face.

''You are probably right, but I hardly felt the pain honestly and it hasn't bled anymore,'' he bragged. ''Praying to the gods has a way of _eliminating_ the pain,'' he added when Leo gave him a disbelieving gaze. 

Leo decided to give up, not exactly in the mood for yet another discussion and grabbed a bandage from the crate with medical supplies in the corner of the chamber and stood next to Cristiano, wondering if he should kneel down on the floor to tend to him or if he should stand up.

Cristiano tugged him down on the sofa beside him and offered him his hand, silencing all the debate in Leo's head.  
''It's easier like this,'' he murmured and Leo shot him a faint smile and started his delicate work.

He dipped a cloth into the warm water and dapped the blood off of Cristiano's hand, pressing the skin hard to stop the bleeding. When that has subsided he neatly wrapped the bandage around the warm hand and gave it a critical tug to see if it would hold, which it did.

Cristiano meanwhile, sat next to him in a comfortable silence, watching Leo work calmly.

''I am sorry I walked away from you earlier today, I had no right to treat you in such a manner and I'm still adamant on you punishing me for my behavior,'' Leo mumbled and Cristiano let out a deep sigh and lowered his head stubbornly.

''No you have nothing to be sorry for, you did nothing wrong. I pushed you too hard and forgot to consider your former masters and your painful past. I just hoped that we could be friends and in my enthusiasm I went too far, too fast. You were right to stand up to me, to tell me that I still have a life worth living despite my bad leg and I am sorry for what happened to your brother. He sounds like a very honorable man and-''

Leo shivered and placed his head in his hands, attempting to mask the water in his eyes but it was futile.

''Please...I cannot speak of my family, it is too painful,'' he begged and Cristiano placed his bandaged hand around Leo's shoulder and slightly pressed their sides together, not too far but just a little.

Experimenting, testing how far he could go before Leo stopped him.  
To Leo's own amazement he did not stop Cristiano from giving him some comfort that he apparently craved for.

When Leo was feeling strong enough and his eyes had dried, he turned to Cristiano and locked his eyes with his.  
''I am sorry that you got discharged domine,'' he said, sincerely and this time, it was Cristiano's turn to choke up with pain and resentment.

''Who told you that?'' Cristiano whispered and Leo shrugged.

''Stephanos, who else? The man talks _all_ the time,'' he complained and Cristiano's lips twitched up for a second, before the shadow took ahold of his face once more.

''But I am really sorry for you that it happened. You had deserved better and-well it is just unfair that they treated you like this, especially because you saved their lives,'' Leo said, anger bursting from his eyes.

''No Leo, they did not make a mistake by discharging me. I would have discharged me as well. Look you must understand this: Roman warfare can only triumph when the phalanx is united as _one_. That means that there can be no weaknesses whatsoever. My bad leg would weaken the entire legion for it is based on unity and moving as _one_. I would stand out, like a pathetic cripple and would therefor get a lot of my men killed. The only job I could still do in the army would be a writing clerk or something basic without fighting but for me that's dishonorable.  
I lived for this Leo. You do not know how many years I have wanted to be a Centurion,'' Cristiano said, a dreamy expression in his eyes.

''No tell me,'' Leo demands tentatively, spurring him on a bit and Cristiano's eyes started gleaming with pride as he continued to speak.

It was an undeniably beautiful sight. Cristiano was incredibly _beautiful_ -for a Roman.  

''When my father rode off for the last time before he vanished, I decided that I wanted to be a Centurion. I have never felt such pride Leo, such honor and respect for my family. Being a Centurion of the Ninth Legion, can you imagine anything greater? Well you probably could, but for me it was the thing I dreamed of ever since that day. My father handed me this wooden eagle,'' he said with a tab to his precious necklace, ''that he had carved for hours under our apple tree and he handed it to me, promising that he would return.  
But he did not keep his promise, for he vanished into the mist and disappeared from my life forever,''

Leo had not even noticed that during his story, he had grabbed Cristiano's hand into his own and held it tight, but now that the story was finished he suddenly felt very awkward and gazed at their entwined hands and saw Cristiano do the same with the exact same of amazement that he felt.

Leo wondered if he should pull his hand back as quick as he could and pretend that this never happened, but he decided that he had insulted Cristiano enough for one day and therefore would leave the decision with his master.

Cristiano gave a small tug on Leo's hand before placing his other hand on top of Leo's, gently lifting his hand upward and placing them back into Leo's own lap and releasing him gently.

''Thank you for listening to me Leo, you are a good man,'' Cristiano said friendly and Leo gave him a tiny smile.

''You should smile more, you have a really nice smile and you always look so serious,'' Cristiano encouraged but Leo shook his head warily.

''I'm a _slave_ domine, I have very little to smile about,''

Leo cursed himself for his instant directness and for his reluctance to any form of kindness, despite the fact that he felt safe around Cristiano and was positive that he could get away with pretty much everything.

He simply could not allow himself to start _caring_  for his master. It would be a disgrace to his family.

Cristiano's father was very familiar to Leo's family, after all; he was the man who lead his troops into the Northern area of the wall and who was responsible for the death of Leo's entire family.

Cristiano's father had done that. Rome had done that.

But Leo realized all too well that all of those events were not Cristiano's fault.

Cristiano had been a mere child, just like he had been when the battle had happened and was in no way responsible for his family's diminish, and yet somehow Leo wanted to blame him.

Wanted to _punish_ him for it.

Even now that he saw yet another side to Cristiano's character. For Leo that changed nothing.  
Cristiano was still an Aquila.

Who's family had come to kill his.

On the other hand, Cristiano's uncle was also an Aquila and he was ever so kind to him, just like Cristiano himself.

Leo wanted to hate them with every fibre of his being and felt like he disowned his family if he didn't but he found himself unable to hate Cristiano and his uncle.

Cristiano placed his good hand on Leo's chin and turned his face to the left to face him.

His touch was as gentle and cautious as ever, as if he were afraid Leo would dissolve into thin air if he touched him too hard.

''You are _alive_ Leo. You are living in a nice house with a good family who will treat you well and will never hurt or rape you.  
You might not see it yet, but you're among friends if you like. We can be friends, and go out to hunt or wrestle when my leg is better.  
And when the time comes after I'm healed, I will free you. You have my word. I just wish that you would see that you have so much to live for and so much to smile about, judging where you came from and where you are now.  
I should think that living with us would be an improvement for you, but perhaps I am overestimating myself,'' Cristiano said solemnly and Leo's eyes widened with shock.

''You would _free_ me? Truly?''

The words alone were enough to tumble all of Leo's firm judgements upside down and he had to calm himself for his heart seems to beat unnaturally fast suddenly.

He was to be freed... He could barely believe such a wonder and yet somehow he knew that Cristiano would never lie about something like this.

His eyes were sincere and Leo knew that if he did his work well, he could go home after a short while.

_Home. So close and yet so far away._

Cristiano chuckled soft and applied some more pressure on the side of Leo's face, his fingers almost touching the soft strands of his brown hair.

''Of course I would free you, I don't condone slavery Leo. I find it repulsive and I wish that it was never invented. Everyone deserves to be free in my opinion,''

''I could not agree more, but I'm confused then: why did your uncle buy me if he knew you would free me after a while?''

''Because he bought you to be my friend, not to be my slave.  
My uncle hates slavery as much as I do and treats people the way he would want to be treated himself. He knew that I would be lonely and miserable after finding out that I would be discharged and that I would need a friend, a kindred spirit who would pull me through the darkness. I guess he thought that you would be the most suitable seeing how I saved you in the Arena and he said he saw some form of bond between us.  
But I do not want to force my friendship onto you, it has to be your choice, not mine. Otherwise you're merely my slave and I'm merely a forceful master, who you resent.  
So what do you say Leo, son of Cunoval? _Friends?''_ he asked and he extended his hand out to Leo who hesitated a while, his thoughts going berserk.

''Before I shake your hand, there is something you should know about me. A-about m-my family,'' he stammered quietly and Cristiano's hand dropped back down into his lap and he took a shaky breath. Somehow Leo could tell that he was nervous.

''You do not have to tell me anything about them, not if you do not want to,''  
''I know that, but I want to. And I really _have_ to if we are ever going to be friends,'' Leo admitted.

''All right,'' Cristiano said and he waited politely while Leo gathered all of his inner strength.

''Like I told you, my father's name was Cunoval, lord of five-hundred spears. When you Romans invaded our lands we rose up against you and tried to hold you back for as long as we could. When your father marched the army north, all the Northern tribes gathered themselves to fight them and to exterminate them once and for all.  
My mother died that day, not in battle but at my father's hand. He killed her before the Legionaries broke through. He knew what they would do to her.  
She knelt before him and he slid her throat. My father and brothers rode into battle and were killed to the last man. I lost my entire family that day and was left alone for I was too young to ride north with my family to fight for our honor.  
Rome took everything I loved away from me that day. So years later when I was adopted by another tribe, I went south to the wall to get my revenge on Rome.

''Me and my new friends charged up against the wall but we lost the battle, ending up in me being the only survivor. Rome took me in as a slave and from that moment on I was being passed on from one master to the next, being used as a prostitute mostly, and sometimes like a martyr. They beat me and tortured me with machines. They made me tell things that I did not even know about myself. I lost _everything_ to Rome, my family, my honor and my country.  
And yet you offer me your hand.  _You_ , a Roman. Son of the man who _murdered_ my entire family. I do not hold you responsible for your father's actions, that would be petty of me, for you were not there and it is not your fault that it happened the way that it did.  
But I'm struggling to let go of the past. It might take some time for me to like you, that is all that I'm trying to explain. But give me some time, for I think that we can be friends.  
You are not to be held to the same standards as I hold most Roman's to. You _are_ different, in all the best ways. So for now I would like to settle on us being familiars, rather than friends if that is all right with you,'' Leo said and he felt immensely relieved and a lot lighter after he had told Cristiano the truth about himself.

He had to know. He had a right to.

Cristiano was still gazing into his eyes intently and Leo saw the other man's eyes shimmering dangerously.

''Please don't cry, not because of me. I'm not worth it,'' Leo said as he placed his hand on Cristiano's again, who rolled his eyes furiously.

''Don't talk like this!!! By the five furies! I _hate_ it that you think so little of yourself!! You have just told me the most sincere and empowering story and yet you feel the need to shrink it down, to strip it of it's content. No I will not let you.

You are a hero Leo and you are in your right to hate me and to hate Rome with all the horrors you have had to endure.  
I may not like the things you said about my father but I do not know what he has done in his fighting days, for I was not there and I barely knew him.

But I will not allow you to degrade yourself like this.

You are better than this.  
So I will offer you my hand again, for I am stubborn like an ox and I will accept your terms on being familiars,'' Cristiano said as he offered his hand to Leo again, holding it up into the tensed air where it lingered for a while before Leo finally accepted it.

''Familiars then,'' Leo agreed and Cristiano hummed happily.

''If we are familiars now than I have to insist that you call me _Cristiano_ while we are in private, otherwise you still sound like a slave and I hate the word domine,''

''Are you serious?'' Leo gasped, amazed and Cristiano grins.  
''Yes, I'm almost always serious,''

''All right then, _Cristiano,''_ Leo agreed and he notices how nice the sound of the name felt on his tongue.  
Cristiano smiled content and they shared dinner in a comfortable silence.

Leo felt like he had entered into dangerous territory with his master.  
And yet somehow, he had never felt more  _safe_.

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Please let me know what you think. Notes are important for me to improve. <3


	4. Dark is the night.

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> After their interesting evening, Leo has some nightmares and Cristiano attempts to help him out.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This is a little shorter than I wanted to, but for some reason I cannot seem to get this chapter right.  
> So I hope you will enjoy it anyway and that it won't disappoint you guys. 
> 
> We go back to Cristiano's POV in this one.  
> I'll try to switch that around as much as possible to allow you guys to get the best look into both of their heads.  
> Although I think I have to make the next chapter from Cris' POV as well.

_Cristiano_ ,

 

 

 

When Leo blew out the candles in _their_  shared chamber a few hours later, wishing Cristiano a good night, and curling up on his little cot near the fireplace, Cristiano let out a large amount of breath he had not realized he was holding.

The evening had been interesting to say the least, and Cristiano was glad that he had finally achieved some common ground with his new 'familiar.'  
Not friend, but _familiar_.

Cristiano knew that he should consider that agreement a small victory but it still stung him that Leo would not accept his sincere offer of friendship.

He understood Leo's reasons very well and while he could rationally follow them, his aching chest told him a whole other story.

He knew that with Leo he would have to be _extremely_ patient for a long time and would have to prove himself to him relentlessly but Cristiano was a patient man, who had nothing but time on his hands and with his determination he was sure he would succeed.

He gazed towards Leo, who was curled up like a cat to his left side, his knees pulled up a little and his arms dangling over the edge of the narrow cot.

It was almost an _endearing_ sight and Cristiano stared at him for a while, musing over all the disturbing things Leo had told him that night and how positively different he had behaved toward him after their open hearted conversation.

Leo had let him in a little, Cristiano could _feel_ it, even if he could never explain it.

He had actually broken through that thick wall for a change and reached a part of Leo's heart that he desperately preferred to hide away from the outside world.

For Leo could behave all tough, prideful and stern, gazing at everyone with those _fierce_ brown eyes but Cristiano knew better.  
Somehow he could see past those pretending eyes and saw the insecurity and palpable fear behind them.

Leo was scared.  
In fact he was so scared that he looked like a trapped animal most of the time that Cristiano looked at him.

Like he was afraid that Cristiano would turn on him suddenly and break his promise not to hurt him.

After hearing what horrors Leo had to endure at the hands of his former masters, it was no wonder why he hated the Romans so much and a part of Cristiano was ashamed to call himself a _proud_ Roman.

How had those animals dared to treat Leo in such a manner?

Didn't they see how vulnerable he was?

They had probably seen it but had not cared for his well being, for they had seen no reason to care.

Cristiano wondered how old Leo was, probably a lot younger than him, he mused.

His eyes were those of and old man though, as if he carried the weight of the world on his shoulders and could not wait for death to seize him.

Leo was twisting and turning in his bed suddenly, mumbling words in Gaelic that Cristiano could not fully understand and sweat started dripping off of his forehead.

The young Briton was wearing his creme colored, sleeveless tunic and his thin breeches were draped around his muscled legs.

Judging from Leo's powerful leg muscles Cristiano could tell that Leo had been trained as an experienced horse rider with his tribe.   

The slave tablet was displayed on the end table to Leo's left and Cristiano felt glad that he had taken it off.

Leo had grumpily asked permission to take that heavy thing off for the nights and Cristiano had happily obliged.

Cristiano wonders what he should do to help Leo with his restless sleep.

Should he wake Leo? Give him a little nudge to his shoulder?

It was probably just a bad dream though, Cristiano thought, but he felt compelled to not let Leo suffer through those alone if he could help it.

However, maybe Leo would get mad at him again if he _dared_  to meddle in his business, but after another couple of grueling minutes Cristiano decided to act and slipped out of his bed.

He grabbed his walking stick and limped over to Leo's cot, his mangled leg aching at every step, probably due to his silly move when he decided to go pray on the floor.

When he reached the cot he slowly extended his hand, reaching for Leo's shivering, bare shoulders.

The blanket had slipped down to his slender waist and Cristiano was worried that he might be feeling chilly, so he gently grabbed the cover and tugged it upward to drape it over Leo's upper body.

Leo instantly stopped shivering and Cristiano shot him a content smile as he turned around to leave.  
Just when he wanted to move, a small hand reached out to take his and held onto him for dear life.

It was cold and lifeless, but the pressure was pleading and Cristiano yelped startled.

 _''Wait...please,''_ Leo begged and Cristiano turned to look into those brown eyes and saw the terrors of the nightmares reflecting in them.

''All right, I'm not going anywhere, don't worry,'' Cristiano soothed, and tears were shimmering in Leo's eyes but he swallowed them away, stubborn as ever.

''Come sit down,'' Leo said but Cristiano frowned at the narrow cot and knew that there was no chance that he was able to sit on that comfortably while Leo was still laying on it as well.

''I would like to, but I fear that the bed is a tad too narrow for the both of us, I suggest we sit down on the sofa or on my bed,'' Cristiano suggested and he can instantly see Leo's muscles tensing, like a spooked animal who's ready to get the hell out of there as fast as the wind can carry him.

''The sofa it is then,'' Cristiano decided quickly and Leo relaxed visibly, although he did give Cristiano an apologetic smile.

''Forgive me, I did not mean to imply anything,'' Leo said but Cristiano shook his head, trying to hide his disappointment but he was certain that Leo can see it in his eyes. For he had never been any good at hiding his feelings.

When Cristiano felt any form of emotion you could read it off his face. 

Leo had been so _damaged_ that he assumed that Cristiano was trying to get him into his bed, to abuse him like some common prostitute.

Even if Leo believed that he was safe with him, his first instinct was still that he could not _trust_ Cristiano. For he was still a Roman. Despite everything he had done to make Leo as comfortable and happy as he could.

Cristiano realized right then and there that Leo would probably never fully trust him, not even after months or years of being companions.

It hit him hard but he desperately tried to compose himself and gave Leo a small smile.

''No harm done Leo, I assure you,'' he lied and he slowly shuffled back to the comfortable sofa and slouched down with a sigh.

Leo followed behind him and did the same while Cristiano poured both of them a cup of red wine and shoved one of them in Leo's trembling hands.

''You were lying,'' Leo said, sounding accusing as he took a long sip of his wine and he locked his eyes with Cristiano, as if he wished he could read his mind.  
''I was not,'' Cristiano deflected, trying to sound as innocent as he could but failing.

''Yes you were, I could see it in your eyes. You're a _terrible_ liar,'' he mocked.  
''Well thank you very much,'' Cristiano snapped back and Leo sighed.

''I just mean that it's a tad _hypocritical_ that you force me to speak my mind to you, but you won't do me the same honor,'' Leo shrugged, trying to sound casual but his voice was trembling with accusation and anger.

Cristiano bit back a laugh and felt a warm grin slide over his face. ''You're right Leo, I am a hypocrite,''

''So why don't you tell me what I did that bothered you so much?'' Leo suggested and Cristiano took another deep breath.

''You did nothing. I was merely disappointed that you were still so scared of me when I suggested we would sit down on my bed.  
I realize why that idea would scare you, considering your past but I had hoped...well I guess I hoped that you would see that I'm not like your former masters.

That I would never invite you to my bed for _such_ purposes, nor would I ever force you into anything. I just wish that you trust me to keep my word,'' Cristiano confessed.  

Leo was silent for a long time, as he gnawed on his lower lip thoughtfully.

Cautiously pondering what to say next.

When Leo spoke again, his tone of voice was warmer than Cristiano had ever heard it and there was a kindness in his eyes that was foreign as well.

''I am sorry for that Cristiano, I really am. I did not mean to offend you in any way. Trust me, I do know that you are not like my former masters. 

I realize very well that you would never hurt me and I shouldn't have offended you by suggesting otherwise but you _must_ understand that I cannot simple erase my past, as much as I would like to sometimes.

Some of my former masters were _kind_ as well, a lot like you and even then, after all their sweet words they turned on me when night fell and broke their oaths not to use me.

I am not saying that you are like that, for I can see that you are sincere in everything you do, but you must understand that it is hard for me to trust anyone in this world while I cannot even trust myself.

It is all so strange to me, that Roman's seem so adamant on breaking their oaths and vows so easily. They can always be bought for the right amount of coin. To my people breaking an oath is punishable by _death_.

A Brigantes will never break his word, he will rather die than do such a thing.

I guess my heart aches for the days when my country was still free and trustworthy and when my people weren't living in a world of slavery and corruption,'' Leo said and Cristiano was unsure what to say to that.

Leo had called him by his first name though, so he should count that as another small triumph but yet he felt torn.

He could not possibly deny the truth in Leo's words for he knows that it was exactly like he says, and yet he wished that he could erase the painful expressions from his memory.

''You look pained again, I know my words must hurt you but you asked me to speak my mind,'' Leo said, a tad insecure now and Cristiano feels unsure how to respond so he downed his cup of wine in one long tug and refilled his and Leo's cups silently.

''I am not pained Leo, but alas I must ask you to save this discussion for a more suitable time when I'm not as tired and wary like tonight.

I always love a nice discussion and I promise you that we will continue it someday, but if you do not mind I would like to speak about other things for the remainder of the night,'' Cristiano said and Leo nodded slow.

''Very well Cristiano,'' he agreed and Cristiano grinned.

''You can call me Cris. I never really liked my full name,''

''All right then, _Cris_ ,'' Leo said and when he shut his eyes blissfully he shivered a bit and Cristiano eyes him cautiously, watching the darkness slide over Leo's face.

''Are you cold?'' he asked concerned but Leo shook his head and slid his eyes open again, a haunted expression lingering in them.

''No it is just the nightmares, they plague me constantly whenever I dare to shut my eyes,''

''You can talk to me about them if you like, I'm an excellent listener,''

''I have noticed that yes, but for now I prefer to speak of other things, preferably _lighter_ topics,'' Leo exhaled.

''Did you have a topic in mind?''

''Hm not yet, so if you have any suggestions I'm all ears,'' Leo grinned and Cristiano smiled back amused.

He really liked it to see Leo laugh so heartedly and sincere like that. It was a rarity that he cherished more than he could say.

''Well I do have some silly military stories for you if you would like to hear them,'' he smirked and Leo placed his head against the headboard of the sofa again and shrugged.

''Sure that sounds fun,''

As Cristiano started speaking about an old sparring partner of his who always fell of his horse, Leo's eyes were filled with joy and amusement.

The problems and fears finally seemed to disappear a little and Cristiano could tell that this was the most relaxed he had ever seen Leo ever since they had met.

His eyes were full of mischief and life and he sipped his third cup of wine silently, cheeks flushed dark red, listening intently, hanging onto every word. Like a child who was listening to a bedtime story.

Leo then took over, starting a story about how his eldest brother fell into a river one day and lost his fur boot that was being carried downstream all the way to his other brother who had been fishing a few miles away from them and recognized the boot as his brother's.

He never told him that he had found it until his name day when he handed the boot as a present to their brother.

Leo's cheeks were dark red with laughter while he told the story and when he was finished a warm look of contentment and serenity lingered on his face.

''Thank you for listening to me,'' he said to Cristiano who smiled appreciatively.  
''Of course, you are always allowed to come to me if you need anything or simply wish to talk about your memories, albeit happy ones or sad,''

''Tell me another story, a real happy one this time,'' Leo ordered and Cristiano muses over this a while before he spoke again.

He realized that he did not have that many happy stories to tell and felt a bit startled by that discovery. It was very strange, that he has more miserable memories than happy ones, seeing how he was raised a free man and not a slave like Leo.

And yet somehow they both seemed to wallow in more misery than happiness. Perhaps they truly did have more in common that either of them realized when they met.

Cristiano told him a longer story this time, the one where he had rescued a baby wolf that had been wondering through the village, apparently abandoned and motherless.

Cristiano had taken the wolf into his mother's house and hid him away from her, raising it as his own.  
The wolf watched him during the long nights, always curling up on the edge of his bed, protecting him fiercely.

''What did you call it?'' Leo asked curiously and Cristiano smirked.  
_''Cub,_ what else?''

''For a man like you that hardly seems very original,'' Leo mocked, but his eyes were not unkind.  
''I shall take that as a compliment then,'' Cristiano mused and he continues his story about that time when Cub bit his mother in the ankles.

''What did your mother do about it?''

''Well obviously she wanted me to get rid of him, so she ordered me to kill Cub, but I could never allow myself to commence to such cruelty. It was my fault that he escaped his kennel in the first place so I helped him escape and released him into the wild.

It took me long and tedious hours to convince him to leave me behind, but after a while he finally obeyed and left.  
Sometimes during the night I could still hear him howling at the moon, crying out miserably, asking me why I had left him behind, begging me to take him back to his home,''

Leo's eyelids started simmering down during the tale and after a while Cristiano could tell that he was sound asleep.

He smiled and grabbed the blanket from Leo's cot and covered him with it, his fingers ghosting over Leo's soft, creamy cheeks, barely touching him and yet he could feel the shivers of Leo's face under his fingertips.

He stared at him for a while, connecting his fingers with the creamy skin of Leo's pale cheeks and allowed himself to linger around for a little.

When he was getting tired himself he turned around, limped back to his bed, buried his face in his pillow and fell asleep within seconds.

When Cristiano awoke, his head was throbbing and he could tell that the wine had done its best to destroy him during the long night.

He grabbed ahold of his head and groaned loud, almost feeling it being split open, not willing to open his heavy eyelids just yet.

As he wondered what time it was he pointed his ears in a poor attempt to catch the sounds of the chambers, but he heard nothing.  
He slid his eyes open and looked around for Leo.

The sofa was empty and obviously abandoned long ago, as well as the cot.  
Leo had folded the blanket together neatly and placed it back onto the small bed.

The sunlight was peeking through the creaks of the door and the fire was on again, Leo must have lit it before he left.

Leo was long gone.

A new day had started.

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Please let me know how you feel toward this chapter.  
> I'm always curious to opinions! <3


	5. Moire.

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Leo meets a new friend and is haunted by the ghosts of his past. 
> 
> Cristiano has a hangover.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Sorry for the delay guys! But I hope this long chapter will make up for it.  
> We're digging a bit deeper into Leo's memories and into his family. 
> 
> I hope you like it!

_Leo_.

 

 

 

After their long conversation during the night, Leo awoke to a _raging_ headache.  
He knew he should not have indulged himself with that third cup of wine, for he always had to pay the prize for it in the morning.

Leo turned around on the sofa and adjusted his stiff limbs, slowly pulling himself upward.  
He gazed at his master who was still asleep in the bed, face down in his pillow and his breaths even and deep.

Leo silently slipped off the sofa, poured himself a large cup of water and downed it in one large sip, spilling some of the content over his chin as always.  
It eased his aching throat a bit but the headache persisted stubbornly, like a fly buzzing around his head during summer.

He folded the blanket together and placed it back on his own cot. He threw some more wood on the slowly dying fire, which instantly gave it new life.  
He put the carafe of water and an empty cup on Cristiano's bedside table and looked intently at his sleeping master.

The night had certainly been _interesting_ , to say the least.  
Cristiano had opened up to him again, showing yet another side of himself that Leo had not expected of him.

Cristiano seemed determent to prove to Leo just how _wrong_ he was when he compared him to all other Romans, and so far he was not wrong in that statement.

His master was undoubtably different from most Romans.

He was different because he sincerely _cared_ about Leo's well being.

Leo knew that he never had to fear anything from Cristiano and yet he had insulted him yet again during the night by suggesting otherwise.

He hadn't meant for that to happen, to let Cristiano read the shocked expressions off of his face, but alas: Leo had _never_ been very good at masking his emotions.  
But as it appeared, neither was Cristiano.

Leo stared at the slave tablet on his end table and cursed under his breath when he slid the heavy necklace over his neck.  
He had always hated the cursed things.

The immense weight of them, the feeling of the cold metal consistently pinching at his neck hairs, but most important of all: what the tablet _represented_.

It was the one true sign of his _captivity_. A symbol that stood for his submissiveness and his lack of freedom.

The tablet always made him feel small and petty and Leo knew that it was designed to make him feel degraded and worthless.

And yet, Cristiano was the first master who had allowed him to take it off when he had asked it of him.

Leo had been immensely relieved to slide the chain of captivity off of his neck for the first time ever since he was made a slave, so many years ago.

The feeling of pure and utter _freedom_ was truly indescribable.

Leo had instantly felt a lot lighter and even though he knew that he wasn't a free man, this came very close to it and he was extremely thankful that Cristiano had given him this small sign of trust.

Leo tore his eyes away from the sleeping Roman and quietly slipped out of the door to help Stephanos in the kitchen.  
He knows that it was still early, he can tell from the minimum sunlight that had not even crept through the vastness of the trees yet and he stifled a yawn.

Leo was used to rising early and yet for some reason he knew that he would never truly get comfortable with it.  
If it were up to him he would sleep in every day.

''Good morning Stephanos,'' he said to the old man who was boiling some water for his morning tea.

''Ah good morning dear boy, how did you sleep?''  
''All right I guess,'' Leo shrugged, feeling not very eager to divulge the old tattle-tale with more useful gossip.

''Hm good, do you want some willow tea?'' Stephanos offered and Leo nodded.  
''Sure that sounds good,''

''So how is the young master doing today?'' Stephanos asked as he filled Leo's cup to the edge with the hot liquid.  
Leo instantly felt his _ever_ cold hands warm up a bit and he blew the content long and tedious before taking a cautious sip.

''I'm not sure yet, he's still asleep,''

''Well I have no intention to meddle in your business, but a body slave is usually required to _stay_ by his master's bedside at all times,'' Stephanos mused, a quirk smile hovering on his thin lips.

''He's still asleep old man,'' Leo bit out, a tad harsher than he had implied, so he softened his expression and spoke again. ''I'm sorry, I did not mean to sound so crude. I merely meant that I thought you could use some help first. When I'm finished helping you prepare breakfast I will go back to his chambers,''

Stephanos patted his arm friendly and smiled knowingly at him. ''Oh you do not need to help me my boy, I have done this myself for over thirty years, I'll have you know,''

''Still, I'm used to helping out in the kitchens Stephanos, so please, let me help you. It will give me something useful to do and I prefer to stay busy instead of sitting at my master's bedside, waiting for him to arise.  
Which will probably be a while, considering the amount of wine he drank last night before bed,'' Leo said, knowing that he really shouldn't display any information about Cristiano behind his back, but he could not help it.

The old man brought out the worst in him, apparently.

His eldest sister Doirin used to be just like that, she always knew the secrets of everyone in their clan, just by listening and paying close attention to their body language.

Being annoyingly observant ran in Leo's family for he was quite skilled at it as well.

''Did he now? Well it's no wonder he is drinking so much these days. The poor master lost everything when they took his military rank away from him,'' Stephanos said, and his wrinkled hands busied themselves by kneading dough for the bread together.

Leo felt unsure what to say to that so instead he asked: ''What can I do to help Stephanos?''

''Well we need some milk, can you go and milk the cows for me? Maybe afterward you can tend to the horses, one of the new mares is quite spooked and the stable boys cannot seem to get her under control. I'm sure a more experienced man like yourself can find some way to calm her down,''

''How do you know that I'm experienced with horses?''

''Well let's say that the old master talks quite a lot,'' Stephanos grinned and Leo snorted.

''I'm sure he does, very well I will do as you asked,'' he said and Stephanos shoved a clean wooden bucket into his hands for the milk and Leo scurried out of the kitchen and stepped into the hallway of the villa.

For the first time since he's been there, he decided to take his time to look around in the giant mansion.  
He noticed that it was unlike any other Roman villa he had ever seen.

Most of his former masters had enriched the villa's with sculptures of Roman gods and had covered the floors with colorful mosaic's, and yet this house seemed like the true example of poverty.

The walls were painted in a neutral white color, and on the floor were several potted plants.

There were red sofas displayed in the living area but that was pretty much it.

Perhaps the villa simply missed a _woman's_ touch, Leo mused as he walked toward the back door and slid it open to step into the garden.

Leo walked over to the stables and inhaled the crisp morning air. It was getting colder every night now that winter was approaching and Leo told himself to bring warmer clothes the next time.

The dew was covering the endless oceans of grass and Leo halted for a minute to inhale the clear sent of nature that surrounded him. He could smell the rain that had fallen overnight and felt his heart swell up. He loved the smell of the rain. 

He had missed the forest with every fibre of his being.   
Living in the airless, constricted villas for years had left him yearning for the freedom to run wherever he wanted for a long time now.

Leo had missed it to go hunting, missed riding through the forest on his horses.

When Cristiano was healed however, he would definitely take Leo out for a ride to stay fit and agile. That prospect helped Leo to get through each day that his master was feeling better. 

Leo walked to the stable, staring at the large lake for a second and went inside.

He patted the two brown cows on their backsides to assure them he had good intentions.  
Not that it was truly necessary for Leo has always been very good with all sorts of animals.

He sat down on a small stool and grabbed ahold of the cow's udders and started his work.

He hummed quietly to himself as he did it, enjoying the simple pleasure of actually doing something familiar for once.

Leo always used to milk the cows with his second sister Isbeil, and the memory of her made his throat constrict.  
He had always wondered what had happened to her, the day he had lost his family.

He had seen most of his family get killed but for some reason he could not find Isbeil anywhere and he silently hoped that she had escaped Rome's greedy hands.

He could still see her face wherever he went, for Isbeil had always been his favorite sibling.

Her hair was long and brown and her eyes were the exact shade of ripe chestnuts.

She wore her hair in a long braid that Leo always loved to pull apart when he was little and she used to drag Leo around on her shoulders everywhere, always paying close attention to her little brother.

They did everything together and seeing how busy their mother was with all his siblings, Isbeil was pretty much the only one who concerned herself with Leo's care.

Leo was the youngest after all and their mother had seven other children to tend to so he always got a bit neglected.

He hardly ever got as well fed as the elder boys did and if it hadn't been for Isbeil's clever schemes to steal food from their brother's and feed it to Leo, he had been sure he would have never survived his childhood.

Isbeil always said that Leo had stayed so small because he was so malnourished and she cursed her parents for not treating Leo better.  
She also blamed herself for not being able to take better care of Leo.

Leo swallowed hard at the thought of Isbeil and realized suddenly that he had been humming the nursery rhyme she used to sing to him every night for the pas few minutes.

When the bucket was filled with warm creamy milk, he put it outside to cool it down and forced the painful memory of his sister out of his head.

He walked over to the horses stables and saw five long necks stretching out of the stables when they heard his footsteps.

''Well good morning,'' he said as he extended his hand and petted the black head of one of the mares, who had instantly drawn his attention.

The mare was gigantic and Leo felt stunned at the mere sight of here for a minute, but she seemed adamant to meet him and arched her neck downward.

She whinnied soft and approving and Leo had to stand on his toes to reach her long neck, and he caressed her manes soft.

They had tangled together and he wished that he could find a comb to untangle them for her, but he knew instinctively that it was not the right time for that.

''Well aren't you beautiful,'' he hummed to her and the horse let out an approving noise.

He stroked her black fur and notices that it was very dirty. In fact, she looked like she hadn't been properly brushed in days.

With a shock he realized that this was probably the wild horse he was suppose to tame, it was the only explanation for why she looked so raggedy and neglected, while all the other horses seemed so pristine.

The stable boys had clearly neglected her for a reason.

''Hey girl, are you going to let me into your stable for a while so that I can clean you a little?'' he hummed and the horse's dark eyes connected with his own and he saw right into her soul.

She was scared, and probably came from a long line of abuse. Just like Leo. 

Leo had seen this many times before with horses of his tribe but it had never stopped him from achieving his goal in trying to gain their trust.

He knew he had to tread carefully, so he started to sing softly again as he kept stroking her long neck and brushed his left hand over her forehead.

Slowly shushing her, he dared to open the stable when he could sense that she was calm enough and he cautiously stepped inside, shutting the door behind him as a sign of good faith to her.

He was at her mercy now and they both knew it.  
Leo kept caressing her as comforting as he could and placed his hands on both sides of her face.

''Shhh it's all right girl, I won't hurt you. _I promise,''_ he vowed as the horse stared at him intently, as if she tried to read his intentions.

Her back was aligned with Leo's face and he knew that she could trample him in a second if she wanted to.

She had to have been the largest mare he'd ever seen and he was glad he saw a stool nearby where he could stand on if she allowed him to brush her.  
He dipped his hand in the bucket of oats and offered it to her as a treat.

She eyed him again, slowly nudging her face downward and carefully removed the treat with her lips, making no attempts to bite him in the process.

''Good girl,'' Leo smiled affectionate as he patted her powerful shoulder.

She nudged his chest with her giant head, a clear suggestion that she wouldn't mind another hand of oats but Leo shook his head sternly and folded his hands together.

''No, not until I've cleaned you up a little. If you let me do that than you can have some more all right?'' he bargained and the horse stared at him sheepishly.

So Leo grabbed the hard brush from the bucket of artifacts and let her sniff it before he stepped back onto the stool and placed it gently to her flank.

She doesn't object against the brush, which Leo celebrated as a small victory and he started cleaning her rear as gentle as he could, careful not to spook her or to hurt her.

''You're doing so good, I will be finished soon, I promise,'' he murmured, vowing to himself to only clean the gross dirt off of her for today.

Maybe later that day he would try to clean the rest off her, but he instinctively knew that with her it was adamant to take baby steps.

When he was done cleaning the dirt off her left flank, he moved himself to her right, continuously humming his sister's song in the process which really worked like a charm on the horse.

A noise arised from the doorway and the stable boys bursted in through the doors, spooking Leo's horse and she jumped up startled. Leo slipped out of there as fast as his legs can carry him.

Luckily for him, she had jumped _away_ from him instead of toward him but still, Leo was furious at the boys for choosing to come in at that very minute, just when he was reaching her.

''Be _quiet_ you idiots!'' he bristled when the young boys appear in the stables, carrying pitchforks, leather whips and buckets.

''Oh sorry, we didn't know anyone was in here,'' one of them said and Leo rolled his eyes as he looked concerned at his mare who was still shivering with fear. She seemed frozen solid on the spot.

''Just get out! I need to calm her down before she hurts herself, or me!'' Leo urged furiously and the boys exchanged confused glares.

''Wait-you were in there with that _insane_ beast? You cannot be serious!  
She is too dangerous and should be put down. I already put in a request with master Aquila to do it,'' the blond boy said arrogantly and Leo lunged forward and grabbed both of them by their tunics as he growled animalistic.

A sudden wave of protectiveness towards the animal flared up in his heart and he would fight for her life with every ounce of strength he's got left. 

''Don't you _dare_ lay another hand on her! There is nothing wrong with her and I will kill you if you come near her with those whips of yours, let alone if you dare to put her down! I'll rip your throats out, got it!'' he threatened, his tone low and dangerous and the boys swallowed nervously.

''All right, but don't think that the master won't hear of this!'' one of them bit out cockily and Leo's eyes narrowed.

''Master Aquila ordered _me_ to break her in you morons! If he wanted her dead he would have said so wouldn't he?''

''We will check that,'' the dark haired boy said and Leo shrugged.  
''Do whatever you like, as long as you get the hell out of here right now,''

''But we have to clean-''  
''Do it later! I'm working right now,''

''You do not have any authority over us,'' the blond boy said defiantly and Leo leaned in a little closer and invaded his space by aligning his face with the boys.

''Do you wish to test me little boy? I'm a trained _warrior_ of the Brigantes, I've killed men a lot bigger than you with my bare hands. Go ahead and attack me if you dare, but I assure you it will not end well for you,'' he hissed and the boy paled and finally gave in to his fear.

He turned around, grabbed the other boy by his arm and they flee as fast as they can.  
Leo grinned to himself, satisfied that his bluff had worked and he opened the stable door again and let himself back in with the mare.

She was still shivering and obviously nervous and Leo stayed near the door.

''They are gone now girl, you don't have to be afraid, I promise. I won't let _anyone_ hurt you,''

He stretched his open hand out to her and waited by the stable door.

He resumed his singing and nudged himself onto the stable door skillfully to get himself face to face with her.

He sat there for a while, merely singing and keeping his warm hand stretched out to her, knowing in his heart that she will come to him, _eventually_.  
For she already trusted him, on some level. He just had to be patient. 

She took a skittish step forward with her left front leg and Leo nodded supportive. Her right leg swiftly followed and before Leo knew it, she had closed the distance between them and presses her head against Leo's hand.

''That's a good girl, I'm proud of you,'' he murmured, as he wiped some nervous sweat off his forehead and he lowered his hand into the bucket of oats and handed her a full hand which she gratefully accepted.

''You need a name, everyone should have a name,'' Leo said suddenly for he grew tired of calling her _'girl,'_ so he reached in his memory for a name that would suit her.

For a moment he considered calling her after his sister Isbeil but he refused to do that.

That would be too painful for him, to be constantly reminded of his sister's memory.

''I will call you _Moire_ , it suits you well,'' he smiled and she whinnied in agreement.

''All right then, Moire it is,'' he decided as he pets her forehead and pressed a soft kiss to it.

''I have to go now, the sun is rising and I need to go check on Cristiano,''  
Moire made a low grumping noise of disapproval and made a pleading face.

''Oh do not look at me like that! I have to go. I have _duties_ you know.

But I will bring Cristiano here to meet you someday, when he's healed all right? I'm sure you would like him, for he's kind. Maybe we can go for a ride through the forest together. I'm sure you would like that,'' Leo hummed as he stroked his fingers through Moire's manes.

''I will return Moire, I promise,'' he vowed and he pet her one last time before opening the stable door and walking to the front doors.

Moire stared at him and stumped her hooves against her stable door, probably trying to persuade him to stay a little while longer but Leo ignored her and walked back to the villa.

He could still hear her whinnying for him after he was almost back in the villa.

Leo shut his eyes and quickly moved forward, not willing to listen to her panic, for it was torture to his soul.

He slipped inside through the back door and walked to Cristiano's chambers.  
When he slid the heavy door open he saw that Cristiano was finally awake, albeit barely.

''Good morning _Cris,''_ he said, sounding way too chipper and he knew it.

Cristiano groaned and grabs ahold of his head, sighing deep, tugging the blanket over his exhausted face.

''Can you _please_ lower your voice, my head is killing me,''  
''I'm sorry, is there anything I can do?'' Leo asked and Cristiano smirked.

''Yes, you can speak a little softer and stop being so cheerful,''  
''Hm the wine got to you too huh, I already had my fill when I woke up this morning,''

''Where did you go?'' Cristiano asked, sounding genuinely interested again as he sat up, placing the pillow against the headboard to support his back and he filled a cup with water for himself and sipped it slowly.

His chest was bare for some reason and Leo involuntarily admired the sculpted outlines of his muscles. Cristiano looked like the sculpture of a Roman god.   

''I went to help out Stephanos in the kitchen, and he sent me to the stables to milk the cows and to tame that wild horse your uncle has purchased, and-''

''Wait-'' Cristiano intercepted as his walnut eyes grew larger, ''-my uncle sent you to tame that wild beast? But that's way too _dangerous_ Leo, you could have been trampled for heaven's sake! She's enormous!''

Leo was touched when he heard the concern in Cristiano's voice and smiled gently.

''Indeed she is quite large, larger than any other mare I've ever seen. But she did not attempt to trample me Cristiano, she is merely scared and abused and needed a warm and loving hand to ease her suffering,''

Cristiano looked stunned and his eyes were larger than Leo had ever seen them.  
''So you actually went into that stable with her?'' he asked amazed, sounding very impressed and Leo nodded.

''Her name is _Moire,''_ he said and Cristiano's eyes softened a bit as he filled up a second cup with water and handed it to Leo.  
''Why did you pick that name?''

''Because it suits her,'' Leo replied curtly and Cristiano decided not to ask further questions to the meaning of the name or Leo's motives.

''It's a fine name, it's Gaelic I assume,''

''Yes it is,''  
''Do you need some fresh clothes?'' Cristiano offered suddenly and Leo nodded, a tad thrown by the change of topic.

''I would like some yes, these are very dirty,'' he said, pointing out the dirty stains he had gained during his morning chores.  
''I can see that,'' Cristiano said with a cheeky grin.

''You can take a bath if you like, we have a large bathhouse available,'' Cristiano offered and Leo's eyes went wide.

''But-slaves are never allowed in those,'' he protested and Cristiano shook his head, disbelieving.

''You're saying that you have _never_ taken a proper bath?''  
''Indeed that is what I'm saying,'' Leo said.

''You may go take one now if you like, there are clean clothes in that cabinet to your right. My uncle will not mind it, I assure you. Stephanos bathes in them a few times a week,''

Leo pondered that proposition for a while, and while the idea of a hot bath was very tempting he gathered himself and shook his head.

''Maybe later, right now I simply prefer some hot water so that I can wash up a bit. And some clean clothes for today,'' Leo said as he opened the cabinet and took some simple clothes from it. 

''Suit yourself, but you should know that I do not expect you to work around the house all day long Leo.  
You are my body slave, not our house slave.

Your purpose is to stay by _my_ side for most of the day. Actually: all day long,'' Cristiano explained, gnawing on his lower lip, seeming nervous suddenly.

''Well if you want me to stay here with you all day I will do that of course,'' Leo shrugged but Cristiano shook his head, and Leo knew that he had completely misunderstood his master.

''No that is not what I meant. I want you to do whatever _you_ want in this house.  
I will obviously require some care during the day, especially now that I'm still injured but if you wish to spend the rest of the day in the stables with-'' he searched his mind for the name of Leo's horse and smiled content when he remembered it, ''-Moire, than that is all right with me.  
I want you to be happy here and if taking care of her makes you happy than you should spend your day doing exactly that,''

Leo's jaw faltered a bit and he felt at a loss for words for once in his life.  
''Why do you have to do that?'' he groaned after a long silence and Cristiano's lips twitched up amused.

''Do what?'' he huffed arrogant, as he took another sip of his water.

 _''Always say the right things,''_ Leo blurted out and to his amazement Cristiano's cheeks heat up to the color of ripe raspberries.

''Shut up, I do not always say the right things!'' he smirked, trying to sound casual and confident but the pleased tremble in his voice betrayed him.

''Oh yes you do,'' Leo pointed out dryly, taking a lot of pleasure in embarrassing Cristiano a little.

Mostly because it was such a strange sight, to see his usually very composed and sturdy master crumble before his eyes.

''Why don't you go clean yourself now?'' Cristiano said, obviously deviating to another subject as quickly as he could because this one mortified him to death.

Leo shrugged as he heated up some water in the kettle above the crackling flames.

Cristiano was silent for a long time as Leo's removed his tunic and dipped a cloth into the warm water and pressed it to his sweaty skin.  
Leo did not even had to look around to the bed, to know that he was being watched for he could actually feel the brown eyes burning into his back.

''Can I ask you something?'' Cristiano said suddenly as Leo dried himself off.  
''Of course,''

''Your tattoo, what does it mean?'' he asked with a tentative gaze at the blue ink on Leo's left shoulder.  
Leo swallowed hard and exhaled.

He knew that his facial expression was darkening without him wanting it to, and he could see the increasing fear on Cristiano's face.

The face of a man who realized very well that he had overstepped his boundaries.

''Forgive me, I did not mean to pry, I was merely curious,'' Cristiano offered quickly and Leo slipped the clean brown tunic over his head and moved toward the bed.

''Can I sit down?'' he asked, ignoring the protests his better judgement was screaming at him.

Cristiano looked surprised again, but recovered swiftly and nodded inviting.

''Of course, of course. But only if you truly  _want_ to sit here, we can also move to the sofa,'' he suggested but Leo shook his head with a tight smile.

''I trust you,'' Leo heard someone say with his voice as he sat down, leaving a reasonable amount of space between himself and Cristiano.  
Cristiano blinked twice, his eyes almost tumbling out of their sockets in amazement.

''Are you...sure?'' he asked, voice so soft and huskily that it was barely audible.  
_''Yes,''_ Leo assured him and Cristiano's lips twitched up into a satisfied smile.

''Thank you, that means a lot,'' he said and Leo locked his persistent eyes with Cristiano's.

''I will tell you about my tattoo, this I vow to you. But not today if you do not mind. The ghosts of my family have been haunting me all morning, and processing this has been...difficult,'' Leo exhaled as tears stung in his eyes again, but he wriggled his face stubbornly and forced them to vanish.

Cristiano placed a hand on his shoulders and squeezed it gentle.  
''I understand, I will wait for you to tell it to me when you're willing,''

''Thank you,'' Leo said and he took a critical look at Cristiano's leg.

''Why don't I change that bandage now? You need a fresh one, twice a day,''

''All right,'' Cristiano agreed with a semi resistant face.  
''How is it feeling today?''

''It aches, but it is a bit less painful than yesterday,''  
''Perhaps because you haven't sat down on the floor to pray today,'' Leo teased and Cristiano grinned.

''Perhaps you're right,'' he admitted.  
Leo started his work and wrapped the dressing off of Cristiano's bad leg.

He cleaned it in a comfortable silence and redressed it quickly.

''Thank you,'' Cristiano said and Leo smiled.

''I will go and get breakfast for you now,''  
''Bring some extra for yourself all right,''

''I will,'' Leo said and he disappeared back into the hallway.  
He turned right and was awaited in the kitchen by uncle Aquila and Stephanos.

For some reason, Leo could tell that something was terribly amiss and he felt a nervous shiver go over his spine.

''Leo, I think you and I need to have a little chat,'' uncle Aquila said sternly, and behind him stood the two stable boys with a content grin on their faces.

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Moire is Gaelic for bitter. But it's also translates to Mary.  
> I thought it fit her. 
> 
> I hope you liked this chapter!  
> Please let me know how you feel about this. <3


	6. I made a promise.

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Leo faces his insolence the same way he does most thing: defiantly.
> 
> But he is not alone.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So I suck at writing summaries. But I hope you guys like this chapter and that you are still reading this along with me. 
> 
> This chapter is pretty rough around the edges.

_Cristiano_.

 

 

 

After Cristiano had seen Leo disappear into the kitchen, he said his morning prayer to Mithras, from the comfort of his own bed this time, clasping onto his carved eagle as usual, knowing that Leo would surely kill him if he found him onto the floor once again.

He felt like he had achieved another small victory with Leo today.

Leo had actually _trusted_ him enough to sit down on his bed with him, which had been a tremendous shock to Cristiano, but a pleasant one nonetheless.

He could tell that Leo was on the right path of truly trusting him and he smiled to himself, satisfied with his own determination.  
After a long period of waiting however, Cristiano got a tad anxious with the wait.

Something was  _aching_ at him, telling him that something might be amiss.

He could not truly explain how he knew it, but it felt like Leo needed his help.  
He could sense it in his bones.

Like he was being pulled from the bed by the sound of Leo's inner voice, whispering somewhere in the back of his mind, pleading for his help.

Cristiano jolted up when he felt a terrible pain arising in his chest and he clutched onto himself, trying to keep a steady breathing but he found himself panicking before he can prevent it.

It actually felt like he was _dying_ , that his heart was giving out on him.  
And yet somehow he knew that the pain he felt was not his, not truly.

 _It was Leo_. 

Something in his heart told him that Leo was in trouble, so Cristiano tried to ignore his throbbing headache and the stinging pain in his chest and grabbed his walking stick from the bedpost, hauling himself up.

He needed to be strong now, there would be plenty of time to feel sorry for himself later.

Another sharp ache thundered through his chest and Cristiano started sweating as he tried to count to ten to calm himself.

He always used to do that when he was a child during a panic attack.

Looking at the half filled cup of water on his nightstand, Cristiano knew that he should definitely drink something first, to ease his headache and to keep his mind sharp.

He grabbed the cup, drinking the content in one giant tug, nearly choking in his hurry and he threw it down on the floor, breaking it carelessly.

Another blinding shard of pain surged through him, even more intense this time and Cristiano fell down to his knees in agony, clasping at himself, tears stinging in his eyes.

''Leo...stop this, please...'' he groaned, exasperated, as he struggled for breath.

 _''Stephanos!!!''_ he yelled with the last ounces of his strength and luckily for him, the door swung open and Stephanos entered his chambers, his blue eyes wide with shock.

''Good gods, my boy! What happened to you?''

''I will be asking the questions old man, w-what is h-happening to Leo?'' Cristiano stammered, the pain only growing more heavy in his heart when he says Leo's name.

''You better come with me, if you can walk that is,''

''Of course I can walk, you silly old sod. I just need some help,'' Cristiano bit out, trying to keep his self confidence together but he knew that Stephanos could see right through his armor.

He knew that the shivers in his voice betrayed him. They always did.

Stephanos hauled him upward with a surprising amount of strength in those old, wrinkled arms and handed Cristiano his walking stick back.

He wrapped his left arm around his waist and helped Cristiano stumble out into the hallway.

Loud voices were arising from uncle Aquila's chambers and Cristiano felt his heart racing in his throat.

Blood was streaming to his brain and he grew foggy and disoriented.  
''What is going on?'' he trembled.

''Leo was disobedient-again,''

''Why was nobody calling for me then? He is _my_ slave after all?'' Cristiano barked out, his teeth clattering so furiously that he feared he might break them.

They entered his uncle's chambers and Cristiano felt immensely relieved when he saw Leo sitting there on a small chair, seemingly unharmed.

He locked his eyes with Leo and let a huge sigh of relieve escape his lips.

Leo gave him an assuring nod, which betrayed that he too was relieved to see Cris and averted his eyes back to uncle Aquila, the defiance clearly displayed in those fierce brown eyes.

Two smug looking stable boys were standing behind his uncle and Cristiano instantly decided that he hated their stupid faces.

''What in Jupiter's name is going on here?'' Cristiano yelled and his uncle looked up, clearly shaken.

''Your defiant little slave threatened to kill my stable boys this morning,'' his uncle said and Cristiano's eyes grew wider.  
''Excuse me?''

''He tried to kill-''  
''Yes I heard you, I'm not deaf,''

''So therefore he must be punished,'' his uncle continued, sounding like a judge who had already convicted Leo.

''I will be the judge of that,'' Cristiano argued, lips pursed together into a thin grimace as he took another sofa and sat down besides Leo, facing his uncle with the same level of stubbornness as Leo.

''Indeed? And what makes you think that you have any authority over _my_ slaves?''

''You bought him for me uncle, you _gave_ him to me as my property. Therefore only I should get to decide what happens to him. He is my responsibility,'' Cristiano said, knowing that Leo was shivering with rage besides him, hating it to be called anyones 'property,'

''Very well, you shall help me decide how to punish your slave then,''  
''First I want to hear what he is being accused of,'' Cristiano reasoned.

''Like I said: he threatened to kill the stable boys. I cannot tolerate _any_ forms of insolence or violence in my house,'' his uncle told him but Cristiano shook his head.

''I meant that I want to hear what happened from Leo, not you. After all, you were not present when the events happened,'' he said and he turned to his left to gaze at Leo.

''Tell me what happened,'' he said softly and Leo swallowed deep.

Cristiano could tell that he was feeling guilty for not confessing to his actions to him when they were alone in their room, but Cristiano nodded friendly to convey to Leo that it was all right.

That he was not mad with him, but he just needed to hear the truth now.

''Very well, he may speak but if you listen to him you also have to hear what the stable boys have to say on the matter,'' his uncle demanded and Cristiano agreed.

''What happened?'' he asked, when he turned to Leo again, resisting the imminent urge to take Leo's small and trembling hands into his own.

''I was in the stables, tending to the horses like Stephanos had ordered me to. I met Moire and we became friends, like I told you.  
Then the stable boys came in and told me that they were going to kill her, that they would be going to master Aquila that day to tell him that she needed to be put down.

And so I told them to back away from her, that they were not to harm her otherwise I would kill them with my bare hands,'' Leo whispered and Cristiano could see the picture unfolding itself in his head as Leo told it to him.

As if he was there with him, it's so vivid.

He could almost see Leo's small posture taking a stand for the horse he had fallen in love with in the blink of an eye.

''So they got scared and they left us alone again, but I never actually harmed them nor did I have any weapons on me,'' Leo added and this time Cristiano could not restrain himself and put his hand on top of Leo's cold hands that were folded together in his lap and squeezed them tight.

''Good, very well uncle, I would love to hear from your stable boys,'' Cristiano said and the blond boy stepped forward and he already seemed a little less sure of himself.

 _''Speak boy,''_ Cristiano bit out and the boy seemed to shrink under his tone.

''W-well it is like he says master. He did threaten to kill us, but it was a simple misunderstanding, I'm sure. We did not know that your uncle had told Stephanos to let Leo break her in. If we had known we would not have spoken of killing her,''

''So this was all just a simple misunderstanding, a miscommunication,'' Cristiano summed up and the boy lowered his head swiftly.

''Very well, thank you,'' he said and he slowly felt a wave of relief wash through his over stimulated system.

''I think we will be going to get some breakfast now uncle,'' Cristiano hummed but his uncle shook his head.

''No I do not think so Cristiano. Misunderstanding or not, your slave has misbehaved himself again. Shown us again why he cannot be trusted and that he is still a savage.  
He needs to be whipped, to force some obedience into him,''

Cristiano felt his stomach drop and Leo's hands tensed up under his own.

''No...'' he said, shaking his head stubborn.

''If you do not have the stomach to do it, I will do it myself,'' his uncle threatened and Cristiano felt Leo's panic surging through his veins.

''NO! I will do it, I assure you,'' he lied, knowing that he would never have the stomach to whip Leo, but he figured that he could get away with it by acting like he had whipped him in the privacy of his own chambers.

His uncle however had other plans and stood to get a leather whip from a cabinet before shoving it in Cristiano's hands.  
Cristiano had always  _hated_  whips.

Hated how heavy they felt in his hands, how they were stained with the stink of sweat and the copper of blood.  

Quite often blood had literally stuck to the leather, making him nauseous.

He gazed down at the whip and noticed that in this case that was not so.  
This whip almost seemed as good as new.

His uncle probably never used it, he mused.

A thought that comforted him a little, until his uncle spoke again.

''Very well, twenty lashes should be enough for today I think. Seeing how it was not a large infraction,''

''Get on with it,'' his uncle barked out, and Cristiano eyed Leo for a second and saw the look of betrayal in Leo's eyes. He quickly put the whip back down on the table.

The sheer panic of all those bad memories Leo had endured were making their way back to his already bruised mind.

''Leave us,'' Cristiano ordered to the stable boys and Stephanos who scattered off to go back to work.

Cristiano arose up from his seat, leaning on his cane, groaning in agony as he knelt down at his uncles seat.

The pain in his leg was so intense that he could resist the urge to whimper but he gritted his teeth and remained seated like a common beggar.

He was going to fight for Leo, whether Leo or his leg wanted it or not.

''Please uncle, you cannot make me do this to him, I beg of you.  
He has endured enough and you bought him for me so that we could become friends did you not? Because you knew I needed help-correct?'' he asked and his uncle nodded reluctant and Cristiano went on mercilessly.

''If you make me do this to him now, I will destroy all the trust we share between us at this moment, and that is already not much to rely on as it is. Leo has been through so many _horrible_ things uncle, and he has finally opened up to me-a bit. If I beat him now I will break my one promise to him: for I told him that I would never hurt him as long as he was in my care.

I cannot do this and you should not be asking me to do this, not to him. Not over something as small as this. Please do not make me do this- _please...''_ Cristiano begged and he could practically feel Leo's anger burning into his back.

He knew Leo hated it to be pitied and would probably prefer a beating over someone pleading for his safety but Cristiano could not help himself.

If he forced himself to do this to Leo he realized that neither one of them would ever forget it.

His uncle's eyes softened a bit and he placed a gentle hand on Cristiano's shoulder.

''Do you think I like it to make you do this? You know how I feel about violence toward my slaves. I seldom beat a slave, but alas, I need to prove to Leo that I will not tolerate violence toward the people that are under my safety.

I cannot have people _threatening_ our peaceful way of life, Leo needs to learn to listen to orders when we tell him to.  
Therefor this needs to be done, and if you cannot do it, then I will. But a beating he will get.  
Twenty lashes is not too bad son, most slaves get fifty at least,''

''Make it ten and I will do it,''   
''This is not a negotiation son,'' his uncle hissed.

Cristiano grimaced, unimpressed. ''Of course it is, _everything_ is,''  
''Fifteen then,'' 

''Twelve,'' Cristiano persisted and his uncle grumbled.

''Very well, twelve lashes, but you will distribute them _yourself_ , right here, right now and that is not debatable. I will not have you taking him to your room and lying to me about whipping him later. I need to see proof,'' 

This unpleasant turn of events Cris had not seen coming and he cursed himself for underestimating his uncle's cleverness, as his mind was trying to find a way to elude this situation. 

Leo however, bravely arose from his seat and shoved his tunic over his head, his eyes shimmering in clear torturous anticipation of what he is about to endure.

He curled his chest forward over the chair so that Cristiano had an easier reach of his back.

Cristiano hovered over Leo's back, his lips brushing over the shell of Leo's left ear. ''I'm so sorry,'' he choked out, his voice barely audible and he felt himself shiver tremendously.

''Just get it over with,'' Leo ordered as he averted Cristiano's eyes stubbornly, but Cristiano could see the damp tears shimmering in them.

''Look at me,'' he said and Leo sighed deep before turning to Cristiano and entwining his eyes with his.

''I am sorry that I have to do this, I truly am. I would rather beat myself than do this to you,'' he ensured him as he cupped Leo's cheek with his hand.

''It's all right, I promise you. I'm used to a lot worse you know,'' Leo told him and Cristiano felt his heart break.

There was nothing sadder in the world as someone who said that they were used to so much misery.

Like it did not matter to them anymore.  
Cristiano stared sadly at Leo and ruffled his hand through the soft, thick strains of Leo's brown hair.

He released him reluctantly and grabbed the whip of the table and leant over Leo's small waist, rising the whip into the air, ready for the first strike.

His heartbeat was pounding in his ears and the world seemed to freeze around him for a while as he focused on keeping his heart rate even and calm.

He needed to calm himself, he was no use to Leo if he panicked.

This needed to be done as quickly and painless as he possibly could achieve.

But Cristiano knew that he was very strong, knew that when it came to the strength in his arms he was capable of pretty much anything.

If he beat Leo twelve times, he was certain he would break his skin to the point where the blood would be dripping of Leo's back, surging down in streams.

Cristiano shook his head, his fingers clasping onto the leather a little tighter as he readied himself for the first blow.

Suddenly a memory hit him, clear as day.  
He saw himself sitting in his chambers with Leo, not too long ago and he heard himself say: ''I will _never_ hurt you, I promise,''

He was breaking his promise when he did this and Cristiano had _never_ broken his word before.

Nor would he start to do so today.  
He _refused_  to beat Leo. He simply could not do it.

He would rather take the beating himself.  
Lowering his whip slowly he turned to his uncle and sighed.

''Give them to me,'' he said as he shoved the blasted whip into his uncle's hands.

''I beg your pardon?'' his uncle asked, completely stunned by the strange turn of events.

''I will not do this, for I gave Leo my word that he would not be harmed and I refuse to break it. Our family is already defiled enough without us turning to breaking our sacred oaths as well.

In the good old days a Roman's word actually _meant_ something did it not?

Our name is already cursed enough. Besides: everything Leo does is _my_ responsibility and my fault in the end.  
If he does anything wrong I am the one who should be punished for that, not him.

For he is under my control.

So if you want to point that damned thing at anyone, point it at the people _responsible_ for it,'' Cristiano blurted out, not exactly thinking this through and he knew that he was babbling and not making much sense but the message seemed to reach his uncle, who was clearly hesitant in his course of action.

Cristiano stepped in front of Leo, who was still staring at him with a mixture of amazement and disbelief, grasping this tunic from the floor and handing it to Leo who quickly put it on, as Cristiano stepped in front of the small Briton, crossing his arms protectively, feinting a confident smirk.

He knew that he was playing a high risk game with his uncle, and he also realized that his uncle's cleverness was not to be underestimated, but he would do whatever it took to keep his promise to Leo.

Even if that meant that the has to be whipped in his place.

Cristiano turned around, pulled his tunic off quickly and turned to bare his back to his uncle, daring him to do it.

He couldn't see his uncle's face anymore but from the long, tensed silence he could tell that he was probably having an internal debate with himself.

So he looked at Leo, because for some reason he just wanted to look at the Briton he had just fought for, just to see if there is any form of gratitude in Leo's eyes.

There was no gratitude displayed in the Briton's eyes, however something far more valuable shimmered through the barriers of Leo's soul: empathy and respect.

Leo was actually concerned for Cristiano's well being and was sincerely hoping for him to be all right.

It meant more to Cristiano than anything he had ever felt from Leo before and he did not even care if his uncle beat him or not. It all seemed highly irrelevant now.  
Leo was worried for him, and to Cristiano that was the only thing that matters.

Leo was grateful that Cristiano was not breaking his word.  
Uncle Aquila still stood there, like an unmovable statue in a wealthy villa.

He coughed once, and then again, until he finally spoke.

''Just get out of my sight, and if something like this ever happens again, I will make sure that he is sold to another family,'' his uncle warned them and Cristiano gave him a forced nod.

''Thank you uncle,'' he said as Leo handed him his tunic and his cane.

Uncle Aquila just grumbled something they cannot comprehend and disappeared into the other room.

Leo wrapped the tunic over Cristiano's head and curled his slender arm around his shoulders to help his bruised body back to their room.

Cristiano's leg was aching mercilessly now, his knees were slightly scraped from kneeling on the floor, his head was killing him slowly and he still felt the aches all over his system.

But none of it seemed to matter now that he knew that Leo was safe.

Leo took his time with him and for that Cristiano was quite grateful, for the ballast on his leg has done him more harm than he had initially thought it would.

They did not speak to each other as Leo cautiously guided him through the hallway, but knowing that Leo was there comforted him.

The silence was not uncomfortable in the slightest.

In fact, it was soothing.  
Like the quiet after the storm.

When they reached their chambers Leo gently lowered Cristiano onto his bed and put a pot on the fire to boil some water.

He knelt down at Cristiano's mangled leg and placed a damp cloth to the bruised knees with a tenderness that Cristiano had never experienced from him before.

His soft fingers lingered on the tensed muscles of Cristiano's legs and he locked their eyes together, with that intense stare of his that always made Cris shiver.

All of the anger and resentment seemed to have faded away from Leo's eyes and seemed to have been replaced with warmth and affection.

Leo brushed his fingers over Cristiano's and took his hand and carried it to his lips, pressing a small kiss to it.

Cristiano quivered and resisted the sudden urge to shut his eyes in delight.

''Like I said before: you are a strange master. But I must thank you, for nobody has ever stood up for me before. No Roman has ever kept his word to me,'' Leo said with a smile that was so sincere and deep that it was almost too much to handle.

Leo was always so much more beautiful when he smiled.

''You are welcome my friend,'' Cristiano smirked, but he corrected himself quickly when he realized his mistake, ''I'm sorry I meant familiar,''

Leo shook his head stubbornly and extended his hand out to Cris. ''No, I want us to be friends,''

''Are you sure?'' Cristiano asked and Leo's hand dropped back into his own lap.

''I am sure, after all, you saved me today. I will not forget that. And I am sorry for not telling you about my run in with the stable boys, it just did not come up and I didn't expect it to lead to trouble,''

''No Leo, you have nothing to apologize for. You merely protected your new friend, and I do not blame you for that. Anyhow: friends right?'' he asked again as he offered his hand to Leo, who gladly accepted it with a solemn face.

 _''Friends,''_ he agreed.

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Let me know how you feel guys. Notes keep me going. <3


	7. Change comes slowly, if it ever comes at all.

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Three days later, uncle Aquila visits Leo in the stables.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So I had some extra time to write and another chapter just rolled out of my hands. 
> 
> I'm speeding the time line up a bit, otherwise it will be way too long.  
> Hope you guys enjoy it.
> 
> I notice that Cris is the star of this story in most of my readers eyes and although that is fine with me, I still love Leo a tad more. I hope that people will see his beautiful sides as well and that they appreciate him for his endurance and innate strength.

_Leo_.

 

 

 

Three days later, Leo had found himself back in Moire's stable after another short night.

He had been there a lot for the past two days, making sure that she was all right, cleaning her from top to bottom with a bucket of warm water on the first day.

Moire had certainly seemed to enjoy that, for she allowed him pretty much _anything_ he wanted.

She was insanely dirty so it had taken Leo nearly three hours to get her completely clean and presentable.

She still got skittish from time to time, especially when the stable boys came in for their daily cleaning jobs, but Leo always calmed her down in the blink of an eye.

Today he thought that he had gained enough of her trust to try to sit on her back for the first time.

He knew that he should tread carefully with Moire, that he had to take tiny steps forward, just like Cristiano had done with him when they first met.

Trust wasn't just _given_ to anyone, it had to be _earned_.

Leo realized that better than anyone.

Leo stepped onto the empty wooden crate so that he could reach Moire's neck, stroking her on her favorite spot, left to her dark manes on the edge of her shoulder until she neighed happily.

''Yes you _love_ that spot, I know,'' Leo smiled, rolling his eyes playful as he gently ran a bone comb through her long manes to relieve her of the inevitable tangles that had formed there overnight.

When he was finished he regained rubbing her favorite spot and Moire gratefully brushed her large head against Leo's back.

''What do you say Moire? Will you let me sit on your back today?'' he hummed and the horse turned her face toward him, questioning his intentions, no doubt.

She looked at the door and Leo seemed to read her mind.

''The stable boys are _gone_ for the day darling, I promise you. They won't ever hurt you again, I assured you of that didn't I?''

Moire stared at him, seemingly doubting the proposition but when she pushed her head against Leo's hands again he took it as a sign of agreement.

''Good girl, let's go outside for a walk,'' he mused and he opened the door to the stable and walked out to the fields of green grass in front of the barn.

He did not put a headpiece or a saddle on top of her, sensing that it was still way too early for that.

Besides, Leo was used to riding without saddles or headpieces.

He knew that if he caged her now, in _any_ way, she would never trust him again.

If she followed him out of the barn, it would be _her_ choice, and her's alone.

Leo knew exactly how vital it was for someone who had been caged for ages to have free will at their disposal again.

The other horses in the barn gazed at Leo from their own stables and one of the large brown stallions hissed at him.

Leo had never liked that horse, he was unsure why that was exactly but for some reason that horse put him on edge. Put Moire on edge as well.

Leo slowly walked out of the barn, singing his sister's song, so soft it could be a whisper in the wind, and waited for Moire to follow him.

He knew that she would follow him, in time.

For he was the only one that she truly trusted and she was hesitant to be alone.  
Leo halted a few meters away from the barn and waited patiently, his back turned to the horses.

After a few minutes his back was being nudged, not really gently this time, more annoyed and he almost tumbled forward into the grass, but gained his balance at the last moment.

''Ah there you are, I was worried you were going to let me wait for you all day,'' he grinned as he turned to Moire and fed her a carrot, while he slowly stroked her beautiful dark face.

He fed her another carrot from his satchel and kept caressing her fur, softly humming ensuring words into her ears.

''It is all right sweetheart, I am here. What do you say we go for a little walk?'' he suggested as he took a couple of steps into the meadow.

Winter was coming swiftly now, for it slowly grew colder each night, and the yellow and reddish leaves rained down around them, brightening up the usually dullness of the green ocean of grass.

Autumn had always been Leo's favorite season, even when he was still a child.

The whole world became so beautiful during the fall, the leaves coloring the usually mud colored soil into a gorgeous pattern of diversity, reminding Leo of the multi-colored rainbows he used to chase with his brothers when he was a child.

When it rained he and his siblings used to jump through the puddles until they were unrecognizable because of the mud staining their faces, working it's way into their hair.

Leo also loved the winters, for they were cold but filled with snow.

Leo _loved_ snow, loved how quiet the world was after a fresh blanket of snow had fallen down from the heavens.

Leo and his people were made to endure the cold and Leo had never had a problem with it, for his family was wealthy enough and possessed multiple thick furs to keep them warm.

Plus the cold united them as a family.

It was the one time during the whole year when all of his brothers and sister seemed to get along, the one time when nobody was fighting each other for they were too preoccupied with struggling against the cold.

Leo still remembers how Isbeil used to take him on her lap and cradle him into her arms with a new layer of furs, as their second eldest brother Adair wrapped his arms around them both, not fighting with Isbeil about something petty for once.

When the cold tried to beat them, they all stood united against it and overcame it together. As a family. 

His former Roman masters had frequently complained about the icy winters.

Romans were used to warmer climates and were not made for the wildness of Leo's country.

Leo had laughed to himself when they would complain about the cold, for his masters were sleeping in a nice warm house and seldom got out into the cold. What did they know of living through a real winter he thought.

Moire interrupted his thoughts by shoving her heavy face into his chest, scraping it impatiently, probably experiencing an ache.

He hopped onto the fence, putting himself face to face with her again and patted her flank.

''Can I get on your back now girl?'' he asked and Moire made a soft sound, somewhere between approval and impatience.

Leo figured that it was a yes and slowly stood up on the furthest step of the fence so that he could reach Moire's impossibly high back.

''I won't harm you, _promise,''_ he vowed again, and she stood there, waiting for him, frozen like a statue.

He slid his right leg over her back and sat down as gently and carefully as he could, worrying he might spook her into a gallop.

Releasing his left hand from the fence he lowered the rest of his weight onto her back, feeling the shivers go over her spine.

He instantly placed his hand on the favorite spot of her neck, caressing it like she always forced him to do, a mere trick to calm her down for he can feel her panic rising to the surface.

''Shhhh it's all right, you're all right. You're _safe_ now,'' he whispered, softly stroking her manes with his other hand, but the horse still shivered uncontrollably and he felt her tensing by the second.

He knew that calming her down was crucial at this point, if he failed she would definitely throw him off her back.

''Moire, darling, you have _got_ to calm down, you are scaring me,'' he said. 

Then he remembered that he still has a third carrot tugged away in his satchel and he quickly reached for it, leaning over Moire's neck and holding it as close to her nose as he can.

''Here you go, a nice carrot for you because you are being so brave for me,''

Moire hesitated a while, her muscles prepared for the fight or flight mode, but the sent of the carrot was irresistible to her and she took a bite of it anyway, greedily tearing it from Leo's hands.

After she ate the orange vegetable she felt a lot more calm and serene and Leo merely sat there, patting her fur and telling encouraging words and stories about horses he used to train when he was younger.

He knew from experience that he could not spur her on to move yet, she had to decide herself when she trusted him enough to put her first leg forward.

''Why don't you say we go for a walk hmmm, just you and me,'' he suggested and Moire gazed at the freedom in the meadow and turned her head to the left, staring at him anxiously.

''If you do not want to, then it is all right love, I will not force you,'' he ensured her.

Moire suddenly placed her left leg forward, quickly followed by her right and before Leo knew it, all of her legs were carrying them slowly away from the fence.

Leo was smiling like a five-year old thanks to his step forward with her, and he enjoyed the whispers of the wind fluttering down on his slightly reddish cheeks.

It had been five years since he had been on the back of a horse and until this moment he had not realized how much he actually missed to go for rides.

Leo was persistant in remaining as calm and quiet as he could, handing all power to Moire so that he was not much of a threat, and yet he kept on singing to her.  
Mostly because he could tell how much she loved to listen to his voice.

Moire carried him around the meadow in a slow but steady pace and after a while Leo could see a grey headed figure leaning over the fence, staring at them.

Cristiano's uncle was gazing at them, and Leo felt Moire tense up and he realized that it was time to disembark off her large back before she threw him off.

Leo jumped off Moire's back, instantly realizing that it was a mistake for he really miscalculated how high up he actually was, and he landed into the grass, crashing down on his ankle, twisting it a little.

He growled soft but ignored the pain and walked toward the old man, Moire following him close behind, reluctant to be parted from him.  
''Good afternoon Leo,'' uncle Aquila said, his face friendly and sincere.

''Good day to you domine,'' Leo said, a tad reluctant for he had not yet forgotten what the old man tried to make Cristiano do to him, a few days ago.

''You have done a tremendous job with that horse,'' the old man noticed and Leo smiled content, trying to stay humble but failing.

''Well this is what I do _best_ domine,''  
''Indeed it is,''

''Can I do something for you domine?''  
''Yes actually, I was hoping you could talk to Cristiano for me, if you do not mind,''

''Why can't you talk to him yourself-domine?'' Leo asked, adding the last word quickly.  
''Because he is stubborn, as I'm sure you have discovered yourself over the past few days,''

''Indeed he is,'' Leo agreed and he folded his arms together, while Moire stood behind him, rubbing his back relentless.

''He is refusing to speak with me and is holing up in his room, sending me away every time I try to reason with him,''

Leo remembered that vividly, for the old man had entered their chambers multiple times for the past few days but Cris had thrown him out every time, shouting and cursing at him in the process.

''I know, but you must remember that his leg is hurting him a lot, kneeling down on the ground to help me did not do him much good.

I have spent a lot of time trying to care for it, to mend it but I fear it will be a long road, if he even recovers at all,'' Leo admitted and he hauled himself onto the fence again, so that he could stroke Moire's fur to keep her calm.

''I know my boy, and I fear the same. He will probably always keep a slight limp,'' he sighed as he extended his hand to Moire's head, gazing at Leo, questioning if he is allowed to touch her.

Leo nodded slow and the old man brushed his fingertips over Moire's manes, smiling soft.

Moire allowed it for a moment before she recoiled her head and turned back to Leo, like a child who searched for comfort with his eldest sibling.

''She is not too _fond_ of strangers,'' Leo explained.

''I understand, she has been through much I'm sure, just like you have,'' he mused and Leo raised his eyebrows and locked his eyes with the old man's.

''What are you trying to tell me domine?''

''I am trying to apologize to you for what happened a few days ago. It was wrong of me to force my nephew to beat some discipline into you. I should have considered your hurtful past and should have treated you more lenient. After all, your infraction was fairly minor. But alas I have to admit that I _fear_ you a little my dear boy,''

''Fear me, domine?'' Leo asked dumbfounded, as his mind was racing to make some sense of the sly man's words.

''Yes I fear you. The fierceness in your eyes scares me sometimes Leo.  
I know that you are not made to be a slave, for you are far too high born and too proud to live like this and I can understand you have problems accepting authority and being someone's slave, but I tried to convey a message into you.

I needed to establish that I was still in control over you and your actions. That is why I did not call my nephew in during the debate, for I needed you to realize that you were still living under _my_ roof, despite of who technically _'owns'_ you.

That I would not tolerate violence or threats into my peaceful household and that if those rules would be broken, there would be consequences.  
That was the only message I wanted to give you, and believe me: I would have preferred to teach that to you without having to beat you.

In fact I had no plans to beat you, not until my _stubborn_ nephew started interfering with the debate, undermining my authority.

I could not accept that, for if I had, it would have taught Cristiano that he can get away with pretty much anything, and so I had to force some form of punishment onto you.

He made me do that, not you.

But he turned the tables on me and called my bluff, by offering to take the beating for you.  
You understand what I am speaking of don't you?'' the old man asked and Leo nodded affirming.

Of course he understood what his master was talking about.

Leo was no fool and he had understood the power play between his masters a lot better than Cristiano apparently had.

Leo would have taken the beating without the blink of an eye, for he was used to far worse punishments, including some of his masters who loved to whip him until he passed out, but Cristiano had changed the game.

He had intervened, merely trying to spare Leo of his fate, but the old man was not to be underestimated.

Leo knew that very well, but Cristiano had failed to see what was really going on.

''I understand domine. And you should know that I am not cross with you like Cristiano is. I realized very well what you were doing, but alas I could not explain that to Cristiano at the time,''

''Will you speak to him for me? Maybe try to get him out of that room for once, we miss seeing him at dinner,''

''Yes I will domine, he might resist that for a while but I will convince him to forgive you,'' Leo assured him and the old man patted his shoulder with a warm smile.

''You are a good boy Leo, I can tell that I chose right when I brought you into my house. You are exactly what my nephew needs in order to heal,''

Leo resisted a blush from creeping up his cheeks and focused his attention back to Moire who seemed rather anxious to go back into her stable.

''Thank you domine, now if you will excuse me, I have to take Moire back inside, it will rain soon enough,'' Leo said with a gaze at the sky, where the blue was slowly being overruled by the gray clouds.

''How can you be sure of that? It still looks pretty clear to me,'' uncle Aquila asked curiously and Leo shrugged his shoulders.

''I _belong_ to this land, so I know precisely how swiftly the weather can change around here and I can always feel it coming before it does. Most people of my tribe share that talent,''

''Do you miss it?'' uncle Aquila asked and Leo frowned.

''Miss what?''

''Your tribe,''  
A shadow glided over Leo's face and he inhaled deep.

 _''Every day,''_ he admitted and the old man put a wrinkled hand on his shoulder.

''I am sorry for that,'' he said and Leo could tell he was being sincere, so he gave him an appreciative nod.

''Thank you domine,''

The old man squeezed his shoulder before turning around and walking back to the villa, leaving Leo and Moire alone again.

Leo walked back to the stables, Moire following close behind him and he shut the door behind her, placing a blanket on top of her back to keep her warm during the night.

''I will be back tomorrow darling, get some rest. I'm very proud of you for letting me ride you today,'' Leo whispered in her ear as he placed one last peck to her warm forehead.

Moire gazed into his eyes and for once did not complain when he left her alone for the day.

Usually he could hear her screaming until he almost reaches the villa, but today she was silent and Leo knows that their little ride did her as much good as it did him.

Leo entered the villa and walked straight to Cristiano's chambers, opening the door quietly, worried that Cristiano might be asleep.

But his friend was wide awake, sitting in his bed, his hands occupying themselves by carving something out of a piece of dark wood, with a sharp dagger.

His eyes darted to the doorway as soon as he hears Leo slip in, to establish that it was not some unwelcome guest like his uncle, but when he saw Leo he relaxed instantly.

''Hello, you have been gone a long time,'' he mumbled as he focused his eyes back to his handiwork.

Leo walked inside and shut the door behind him, putting a kettle onto the fire to make them some tea.

''Yes, I was with Moire, what are you making?'' Leo asked curiously as he leant over his shoulder to stare at his busy hands and Cristiano shrugged as he eyed his work critically.

''I haven't decided yet, I just needed to do something with my hands for I am going insane with doing nothing all day. So how was she doing today?'' Cris asked compassionately as he put the knife and his creation down on the covers, folding his arms together to listen more intently to Leo's daily stories, like he always does, hanging onto every word Leo says.

Leo boiled the water and poured them two cups of nettle tea.

He handed one of them to Cris and sat down at the edge of his bed, facing him calmly as he folded his legs together.

''She did brilliant, she actually let me ride on her back for a little while today,'' Leo said, unable to deny the pride beaming through his voice, 

''Really?'' Cristiano chirped, eyes gleaming with excitement, ''That is huge,'' 

''I know, it really was an enormous victory for the both of us,''  
He blew on his tea and slowly took a cautious sip, burning his tongue in his hurry like he did.

''Ow,'' he growled and Cris handed him a cup of cold water from the spring, that he somehow always had standing next to his bedside whenever they have afternoon tea.

Cris seemed to count on Leo's clumsiness, and Leo would be insulted but the cold water felt too divine on his tongue for him to complain.

But Leo was grateful that Cristiano never actually scolded him for being so impatient, he merely ignored it like it had never happened, careful not to wound Leo's endless pride.

''Thank you,'' Leo grinned and Cris snorted.

''Your uncle visited me today,'' Leo continued and Cris' hazelnut colored eyes went wide.

 **''WHAT?!** Are you all right? Did he-''

Leo put the cup on the end table and slid forward to sit in front of Cristiano's sculptured face.

He took his freezing hand into his own and held it tight, pressing his index finger to Cristiano's lips to silence him.

''Shhh I'm _fine_ , will you please calm down. He merely wanted to speak to me about what happened the other day,''

Cristiano's face turned into a dark and an unpleasant shade and a shiver went over Leo's spine as he braced himself for another confrontation.  
He was counting on Cristiano's anger, in fact he rather expected it, and yet he really could not stand to see him this mad.

Cristiano was so immensely beautiful and being angry ruined that peaceful picture completely.

''Do not tell me to calm down! He has no _right_ to speak to you when I am not there to-''

''To what? To protect me from him?  
Do you really think that I would _need_ protection from your own flesh and blood?

Do not be so paranoid Cris, he is your uncle, not some dangerous, blood hungry slave trader. He has taken you into his house, taken care of you for weeks and he loves you with all his heart. I can tell.

Like you are his own son.

He would _never_ harm me and deep down you know that.

So stop being such a brat and go out there to have dinner with your family,'' Leo snapped and he folded his arms together angrily, gritting his teeth and biting his tongue to prevent himself from saying even harsher things to his friend.

Cristiano eyed him for a while before a small smirk crept over his lips.

''Oh Leo, sometimes I cannot believe how bold you really are. You just say whatever comes to mind don't you?''

Leo grinned back. ''Well you did command me to always speak my mind, did you not?''

''Indeed I did and do not think that I don't regret that in moments like these,'' he admitted and Leo knew that this was the moment where he needed to pursue his debate.

He needed to fight for the old man, needed to bring this family together again, for he had been the one who was responsible for tearing it apart.

He and his cursed temper had caused all of this.  
Leo was the only one who had the right to mend it.

''Look, I believe that your uncle is a very good man Cris. He apologized to me today, and I know that he did not want to lay out any form of punishment on me, but then you showed up and undermined his authority and he was forced to react. He had no choice for you forced him into a corner.

I am not saying that I did not appreciate you standing up for me, because you know very well that I did, but in that moment it was not the wisest thing to do.

But your uncle misses your presence around the house and you need to get out this chamber and be among your family again. This is not healthy my friend,'' Leo said as he placed his hand on top of Cristiano's large hands, giving him a comforting smile.

''You are probably right Leo, but alas I cannot so easily forget what my uncle almost made me do to you,''

''I am not asking you to forget about it, I'm merely asking you to _forgive_ him for it and to try to see it from his perspective. He did not mean it like that and I think you know that, somewhere deep down under that angry exterior of yours,''

''How did you get to be so wise?'' Cris grumbled and Leo laughed.  
''I gained a lot of life experience along the way I guess,''

''Hmm that does not mean you have to be such a know it all most of the time,'' Cristiano teased and Leo nudged his ribs playfully.

''Careful _'master'_ you might not want to treat me badly, I might accidentally poison your soup,''

''No you wouldn't do that,'' Cristiano said instantly and Leo felt touched by his faith in him.

''Come on, let's get you to the kitchen,'' he hummed and he helped Cristiano to his feet, shoved the cane into his hand and escorted him to the dining room.

When they got there uncle Aquila was already sitting at the table, chewing on a piece of bread while Stephanos was sitting in the kitchen, stirring into a big pot.

Uncle Aquila's blue eyes gazed up at the boys and he gave them an inviting smile.

Cristiano said nothing but let Leo help him to his seat next to his uncle and Leo sat down to his left, setting a plate in front of Cristiano while he poured him a bowl of chicken soup.

Leo filled his own bowl with the hot content and cut both of them a piece of brown bread, placing one of the slices on Cris' plate.

Cristiano nodded thankfully before averting his eyes to his uncle, investigating him slowly and patiently, still not uttering a single word.

Then Cristiano extended his hand to his uncle and placed it on top of the old man's entwined fingers.  
His uncle stroked his cheeks affectionately and a warm expression slid over his face.

His hand traveled south and halted at the eagle necklace around Cristiano's neck.

He carefully revealed it from behind Cristiano's tunic and stroked his wrinkled fingers over it.

''You may be your father's son, but you are also of  _my_ blood, dear boy. Please forgive me for being so hard on you and Leo,'' he begged and Leo saw the tears shimmering in the blue eyes.

Cristiano smiled gentle and cupped his uncle's cold cheeks. ''I forgive you uncle,''

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Let me know how you feel. Notes and support are important for me to go on. <3


	8. I'll take care of you.

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Leo falls ill with a heavy fever, leaving Cristiano with little choice. 
> 
> He will have to take care of Leo for a change, reversing their usual role pattern.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So it has taken me a few days to update this but I hope you guys are satisfied with the longer chapter. 
> 
> I hope it is okay.

_Cristiano._

 

 

 

When Cristiano opened his eyes after a long and sleepless dream he saw that the daylight was creeping through the cracks of his door.  
It had been three days since he had made up with his uncle and honestly, Cristiano was glad for it.

Arguing with someone he was quite fond of, had never exactly been his strong suit.

Nor did he ever liked to hold grudges toward anyone.

Cristiano was a man who simply accepted people for who they were.

However when his uncle had treated Leo in such a crude manner he had found himself unable to forgive him for what he had almost made him do.

But Cris was glad that Leo had shown him a different perspective toward his uncle and he silently thanked him for showing him another path besides the usual anger and resentment he felt.

Last night they had shared a nice dinner, hosting a small party for Cristiano's leg was finally healing a bit better and he was almost strong enough to walk around without his cane and therefor his uncle had sent Leo and Stephanos into town to purchase some special treats for the feast.

Leo had brought back a wild boar, knowing very well that Cris was craving for it, seeing how he seldom talked about anything else when it came to supper, and Leo had strapped it onto a spit over the fire and roasted it until it was properly cooked.

Cristiano had never tasted anything more delicious and kept thanking Leo for bringing it back with him.

Uncle Aquila had hired some musicians from the village to entertain them and the wine flowed freely, making Cris' head spin up to a certain point that Leo was forced to help him get back to his bed.

Cris vaguely remembered Leo slumping his drowsy body down on the bed and covering him with his blanket before the small boy retreated to his own cot and fell silent.

A soft, disgruntled groan disrupted Cris from his hazy thoughts and he stared at his right to see Leo twisting and turning around on his cot.

It was a strange sight to see that he was still in bed, for usually he rose before everyone else and would be up to help Stephanos with breakfast by now.

But Leo was still very much present in their chambers, face buried sideways into his pillow and little droplets of sweat were sticking to his forehead.

The slave tablet was being displayed on the table near his head as usual and Cristiano never made any demands that Leo had to put it on when they were in the privacy of their room.

Cristiano gazed critically at Leo and wondered if he was experiencing a hangover, or if it was something else that is bothering Leo.

Another nightmare perhaps.

Leo moaned soft, as relentless shivers travelled up and down his small body, urging Cristiano to arise from his bed to limp toward the small cot to see what was going on with his friend.

Clearly something was amiss, otherwise Leo wouldn't still be in his bed at this hour.

Worry and doubt gnawed at him and Cris placed a soft hand to Leo's sweaty forehead, instantly realizing that he was burning up with a serious fever.

His small gesture awoke Leo, who lazily opened his eyes and stared at Cris in amazement, while their faces were so close that their foreheads were nearly touching.

''Cris? W-what are you doing?''

Cristiano retrieved his face and grabbed the nearest sofa, sliding it up to the bed so that he could take the ballast off his leg and he sighed, feeling extremely tired suddenly.

''Making sure that you are all right,'' he replied.

''Why wouldn't I be?''  
''Because you are still in bed and the day has already begun hours ago. And besides: you've fallen ill,''

'''I'm not sick,'' Leo grumbled but as he raised his proud head, he groaned in agony and clasped his head in his hands.

''Headache huh?'' Cris teased mildly but Leo shot him a moody glance.

''Must have been the wine, I assure you that I'm _fine_. I will be starting my day now,'' he said as he attempted to sit up but Cris placed his hand onto his chest and pressed him back down on the cot, using his superior physique to his advantage. 

''You are not going _anywhere_ besides this room today,'' he ordered and Leo sighed dramatically. ''Stop coddling me, I am not a child and I am _not_ sick,''

''Yes you are, you stubborn little Briton. You have a high fever and you are probably coming down with the same autumn infection that has taken the entire village into a hold for weeks now,'' Cris said sternly and Leo rolled his brown eyes at him, obviously annoyed.

''Nonetheless, I have responsibilities here and duties to fulfill during the day. I do not have the time or luxury to be sick and-'' Leo said but a long, wheezing cough interrupted his speech and Cris filled a cup of water and handed it to him.

''Drink this,'' he commanded and Leo accepted the cup and choked a little as he took small sips.

''First we need to get you out of these clothes and we have to change your sheets, you've gotten them all wet with sweat and you need to stay dry and warm if we are to fight this sickness,'' Cris said, prioritizing out loud while scratching his chin, trying to come up with the best plan to get Leo healthy as quick as possible.

He walked to the cabinet and grabbed a pair of creme colored breeches for Leo, with a matching tunic with long sleeves.

He grabbed some clean linen underwear and mused over the content of the cabinet to see if he needed anything else.

''Do you want to take a bath first?'' Cris offered and Leo gave him a defiant glance, obviously irritated by all the coddling.

''No I want to go tend to Moire and start my day,'' Leo insisted stubbornly and now it was Cris' time to roll his eyes.

''You are not going to the stables today, nor will you go anywhere besides these four walls today, am I clear?'' Cris threatened and Leo pursed his lips together, swallowing hard.

''But someone has to go to her, she does not trust the stable boys and I do not want to see her neglected,''

''I will go and take care of her,'' Cristiano said solemnly and Leo's lips quirked up into a sarcastic smirk.

''Do not be _absurd_ , your leg is not even close to being healed yet and she might trample on you for you are a stranger to her. I will not have you ruining all of my hard work in an instant, because you feel the need to look after her,'' Leo grumbled, gritting his teeth.

''She will not trample me, or kick me in any way. You are not the only one who is skilled with horses you know,'' he said confident.

''And yet she has _never_  even met you before and she only trusts me. How do you propose you will pull this off? Just waltz in there, hoping for the best? You do not know her Cris and she is dangerous to strangers,'' Leo argued, as he slowly sipped the remaining content of his cup.

''I will bring your tunic with me,'' Cris said, improvising his thoughts out loud as usual.

To his own amusement Leo seemed to be stunned for a moment, obviously impressed by his suggestion.

''What?'' he gasped, jaw dropping rapidly.

''So that she can smell that it belongs to you and that I mean her no harm.

When she smells your scent on it she will calm down sure as day, I know it.  
And I will bring her some carrots from the garden, you always say how much she loves those. I will gain her trust, I assure you. I can be very determined when I want to be,'' Cris assured him and Leo nodded slow.

''I know that, but still...it is very risky Cris and I do not like it. This is not like me, to be holed up in here all day, feeling sorry for myself,''

''I realize that my friend, but you do not have a saying in this matter. You are _sick_ and therefor need to be in this bed unit you have healed properly,'' Cris said as he dipped a cloth into a bowl of cold water and pressed it to Leo's drenched forehead.

''Just be careful with her, and sing some songs to her, that always calms her down,''

''You mean that lullaby you always sing to her?'' Cris asked and Leo's eyes widened again, an unpleasant wave of pain hidden away in them and Cris knew he had crossed an invisible line.

''How do you-''

''You sing the same song whenever you are cooking, cleaning or tending to my leg.  
All day long you seem to hum the same melody, so I assume that you sing it to Moire as well. Maybe you can teach it to me so that it helps me to calm her down,'' Cris suggested but Leo's face darkened and tears started shimmering in his brown eyes.

Cris clasped onto his hand and cradled his hot cheek with his other hand. ''I am sorry, this is upsetting you. I did not mean to-''

But Leo shook his head and inhaled deep before he spoke again. ''It was my sister's song, she sang it to me all day long. I had not realized until now that I use it so many times,''

Cris was silent for a moment and when he gazed into Leo's eyes once more he could see the hurt in Leo's eyes.

''I was unaware that you had a sister,'' he said quietly.

''Yes I had several sisters actually, but Isbeil was my favorite sister. She always took care of me, treated me like she was my mother. My own mother was always too busy with her other seven children to tend to me, but Isbeil was always there when I needed something,''

Not having any siblings himself, Cris had always wondered what having a sister would be like.

He always used to envy anyone with siblings but he realized now that all of Leo's siblings would surely be dead or enslaved by now, leaving him behind with the intense pain of missing them.

Cristiano suddenly felt blessed to be an only child, for he would never experience that amount of loss himself.

''What happened to her?'' he asked and Leo gnawed on his lower lip so hard that he drew blood, swallowing deep.

''She is probably dead by now, on the morning the Romans broke through she went missing and haven't seen her since. So I have to assume she is dead, for most Romans aren't as merciful as you are,''

Cris awkwardly moved the cloth away from Leo's forehead and used it to clean the blood off Leo's lip, staining the pale cloth with his coppery blood.  
''I am sorry,'' he said to Leo, who eyed him with a thankful glance.

''Thank you,''  
''I will not ask you to teach the song to me, for it seems to hurt you to even talk about your sister, let alone-''

''No I do not mind to teach it to you, however it is in Gaelic,'' Leo warned him and Cris shrugged.  
''Well I always wanted to learn it, could you teach it to me?''

''What? Gaelic or the song?'' Leo asked amused, the hint of a smile lingering on his plump lips.

 _''Both,''_ Cris said and he could tell that Leo was pleasantly surprised by his suggestion.

''Of course, if you want to. I have to warn you that it can be a difficult language to learn for someone who is used to the Roman tongue,''  


''That is quite all right, I have plenty of time and I'm determined enough to pursue it,''

''Indeed,'' Leo agreed and Cris grinned at the compliment.

''But first things first: you need a bath to clean the sweat off your body. I will fill up the tub for you and will change your sheets. Meanwhile you can sleep in my bed until your sheets are washed and dried,'' Cris said anxiously, nervous how Leo would react to that last comment, but Leo's face remained steady and unreadable.

''All right, but I still feel the need to tell you that I _resent_ you a little for fussing over me,'' he complained and Cris smirked confident.

''No you don't, deep down you like to be taken care of for a change,'' he replied and Leo blushed briefly, which told Cristiano that he had been right in making that assumption.

''I do not,'' Leo moped faintly but neither one of them truly believed it.

Cris went to work and boiled hot water for Leo's bath, while Leo eagerly taught Cris the basic words and melody of his sister's song, correcting him critically when he pronounced something wrong.

When the bath was filled with enough water Cristiano extended his hand to Leo to help him up, bruising his ego as usual.

''I do not need any help getting up, I am _not_ a toddler,'' Leo chided, but as soon as he had said it, he tumbled backward onto his cot, the vertigo clearly taking ahold of him.

 _''Clearly,''_ Cristiano agreed, his lips twitching up, as he swallowed an even meaner comment.

He moved forward and wrapped his arm around Leo's slender waist and hauled him toward the bath without any other delays or complaints.

Leo allowed him to help, probably sensing that he was unable to win this debate and Cristiano was glad for it, for he was growing so tired of arguing against Leo and his endless pride.

They halted in front of the marble tub and Leo grabbed ahold of the ledge to steady himself, while the fingers of his other hand desperately dug further into Cristiano's waist, hard enough for him to leave marks behind, but Cris didn't flinch.

He still remained a soldier and he was used to worse pains than this. 

Cris sat him down on a chair and slowly pulled Leo's tunic over his head, revealing his pale, slightly muscled chest and the blue inked tattoos on his arm, the meaning of the symbols still completely lost to him.

Cris knew that he should not ask Leo about them again, for Leo had made it perfectly clear the first time he asked that he would rather not speak about them.

He hesitated when it came to his breeches, unsure if he should help Leo out of those as well or if he needed to let him do that himself.

''Uh-do you need any help with-'' he stammered but Leo, as he had predicted, shakes his head reluctant.

''I got it,'' he groaned, as his hands fumble with his breeches for a while before he finally slid them off his short, lean legs, revealing only his underwear.

Leo always bathed in his underwear so Cristiano made no attempts to remove them from him, he simply offered Leo his hand and Leo accepted it, so that Cris could haul him upward and help him slide into the warm water.

''Thank you,'' Leo said, slightly out of breath, panting soft due to all his efforts.

The swirling water however seemed to do him a lot of good instantly for his face turned into a satisfied smile as he sank himself deeper into the water so that only his head was still showing above the surface.

''You are quite welcome, is it safe to leave you alone for a minute so that I can get Stephanos to get you some breakfast? I am sure he is worried over your absence already,'' Cris fussed and Leo snorted grumpily.

''But I am not very hungry and-''  
''You need to eat something Leo, to recover your strength,''

''Fine, go on then! I'm not going anywhere so it seems,''

''Oh I will go, but however, I am rather _reluctant_ to leave you alone. Your vertigo concerns me and I am afraid you might drown,''

''Will you stop that! I am not drowning!'' Leo chided as he bit his lip again, obviously in an attempt to stop himself from saying even more unpleasant words to Cris.

Cris hesitated as his fingers ghosted over the doors to the hallway and in a split second he makes up his mind, sliding the door open and shouting Stephanos' name so loud that the people down the hill in Calleva probably heard him.

Leo rolled his eyes at him again, obviously cursing him for being ridiculous, but Cris ignored him.

Stephanos approached and stuck his head into their chamber.

''Good morning young master,''

''Good morning to you as well Stephanos, could you bring us some breakfast. Leo has fallen ill and he needs to stay in bed all day. We also need some help changing his sheets, they need to be washed instantly,'' Cristiano ordered and the old man nodded compliant.

''Ah so there you are Leo,'' Stephanos said when he poked his curious head around the corner, seeing Leo laying in the bathtub, ''I was getting gravely concerned for your well being when you did not show yourself this morning,''

''I am truly  _sorry_ for that Stephanos,'' Leo offered but the old slave shook his head.  
''No need for that dear boy, just get yourself better all right,''

''I will try to,'' Leo said and Cris raised his eyebrows at the sudden change of heart Leo's seemed to have and chuckled.

''Indeed? Can I get that in writing? You have worked against me every step of the way so far,''

''Stop teasing me when I'm sick Cristiano,'' Leo mumbled and Cris laughed once more.

''Oh and now you're suddenly _sick_ as well? _My, my, my...''_ he winked at Leo who blushed like he always did at that gesture and Cris saw Stephanos giving them a knowing smile before he went back to the kitchen to get a tray with bread, soup and oil for them.

Leo meanwhile was laying in the bathtub with his eyes fluttered closed.

Cristiano sat besides him and took small bites of the bread, knowing that the soup would be too hot for Leo to eat right away, seeing how he always burned his tongue in his eagerness.

Stephanos was walking in and out to remove the sheets from the cot and to bring them some herbal remedies for Leo's fever that Cristiano had to mangle into his morning tea, which he happily obliged.

 _Anything to get Leo better,_ he thought.

When the old man finally left them alone, Leo's eyes opened and he sighed deep, sounding exhausted.  
''You need to eat some soup,'' Cris said but Leo shot him a disgusted glare.

''I'm not hungry,''  
''I do not care, you still _need_ to eat,''

''I will not eat that disgusting broth he dares to call soup,'' Leo refused but Cristiano, who had prepared himself for his usual resistance, had a plan worked out.

''If you do not eat, I will not go and tend to Moire today, she will be left with the stable boys instead of me,'' he threatened and he knew that it was low of him to turn to manipulation, but Leo _needed_ to eat.

Leo's health was more important to him than Moire's well being and he needed Leo to be all right.

People still died of fevers every year and Cris wouldn't know what to do with himself if Leo would be torn away from him.  
Leo _needed_ to be all right, he had to be.

Leo's eyes narrowed dangerously at Cris' threats and he looked at him with a venom and anger that Cris had never seen before.

Quite honestly: Leo was pretty terrifying like this and in that quick moment, Cris could see fully what Leo must have looked like on the battlefield.

When he was seated onto his horse, wearing blue war paint, carrying swords and spears in his hands. 

It was a frightening image and Cris was glad that he had not met Leo on the battlefield when he fought the Britons.  

''I had expected more from you Cristiano,'' Leo snapped as he folded his arms together, creating a wave on the water surface. ''This is _below_ you, to turn to sheer manipulation like this. You are using my love for Moire against me. How dare you!''

Cristiano raised his hands into the air and felt himself losing his temper.

''How dare I? By the gods Leo, you can be such a stubborn little bastard! Do you honestly think that I enjoy manipulating you? Do you?''

''Well before all of this I would have said no to that, but now I'm not so sure,'' Leo hissed, voice lashing out like a whip.

Cristiano's eyes filled up with furious, hot tears but he refused them, telling them to leave him alone as he inhaled deep, trying to steady himself.

Leo was _not_ going to have his tears.

Not when he apparently thought so little of him.

The thought alone hurt Cristiano in his heart, for he had thought that they had finally achieved some common grounds over the past few days, but it seemed that Leo had already forgotten all about that.

He realized with a startling shock that Leo still did not trust him, despite everything that has happened between them.

Leo still saw Cris as a Roman, and in his stupidity to manipulate Leo to eat something, he had only proven Leo's point in showing him a typical Roman quality, called: breaking his word whenever it suited him.

Without realizing it, Cristiano seemed to have ruined the good grounds they had finally achieved in an instant.

One split second of unthoughtful words and everything they had worked so hard to achieve was destroyed once again.

Cris stood up from his sofa and moved to the door, but as his hand cradled the door he heard Leo's soft voice coming from behind him. _''Wait-please don't go,''_

It was more a pleading whisper than an actual sentence but Cristiano understood it, and despite everything he halted politely, turning around to face Leo, his legs digging further into the stone floor.

A tensed silence lingered in the air between them and Cristiano waited for Leo to speak, but the small Briton seemed at a loss for words.

The only thing that was clear to Cris was that Leo was feeling bad for the words he has just said to him, for his face was riddled with regret and anticipation.

''I did not mean-'' Leo blurted out but he is cut off by a long cough that caused his nose to drip and his hands to shiver.

Cris sighed deep and let go of the door, moving backward toward Leo and he sat back down on the sofa, handing Leo a small towel to clean his face.

''I am going to see Moire now, I will send Stephanos in so that he can put you to bed,'' Cris said and he grabbed Leo's used tunic, folds it together and puts it in his satchel.

Leo stared at him, amazed for a moment and Cristiano lets out an insulted gasp. ''I keep my word Leo, if I vow that I will take care of Moire than I will do so.

It hurts me to see you doubting me once again. I was merely trying to get you to eat some soup so that you won't die of this fever.  
I know I crossed a line by manipulating you, but I did it for your own good.

No actually that is not entirely true, I did it for _both_ our sakes. I've grown very fond of you my friend, and I cannot stand the idea of losing you, for you are the only one who can handle me properly.

So I need you to eat your soup, drink your tea and to stay alive and if that means that I have to misbehave myself in order to save you than I will happily do that,'' Cris vowed and Leo eyed him ludicrously.

After a long and heavy silence Leo spoke again, his tone warm and friendly this time. ''Can you give me the bowl of soup?'' he asked and Cristiano smiled content as he obliged and presses the bowl into Leo's shivering hands, their fingers brushing together for a short moment.

''Thank you,'' Cristiano said, meaning it from the bottom of his heart.

''No I should be thanking you, for taking care of Moire today-and for being so thoughtful- to me,''

''Well that is my job isn't it?'' Cris said but Leo shook his head, disbelieving.

''Not exactly but you are a good friend for it and I will not forget it,''

''Drink your tea as well, it has cooled down enough for you to safely drink it now,'' Cris ordered and Leo nodded faint.  
''I will, promise,''

''Good, I will be back soon,''

''Give Moire a kiss from me,'' Leo smiled and Cris ruffled his hand through Leo's thick hair and smirked.

''I will. Take it easy today all right, I will sent Stephanos in to get you out of the tub and into bed. Get some rest,''

''Thank you Cris,'' Leo sniffed and Cris called for Stephanos and leaves the room, walking straight to the vegetable garden to steal Moire some carrots.

He walked toward the stables, using his cane as little as possible and opened the door, greeting the horses and the two stable boys who are just finishing cleaning the dung out of the stables.

They greeted him cautiously, as if they feared he would shout at them once again and Cristiano told them to leave.

He walked toward the biggest, black horse he could find, knowing that Moire was the largest horse they had and halted at her door.

''Hello girl, it was about time we met wasn't it?'' he hummed and Moire flattened her ears and hissed at him, baring her teeth.

''Well that reminds me of how your little friend reacted to me when he saw me for the first time, he was not too fond of me either at first. Maybe he still isn't after what I did to him today,'' Cristiano whispered to the horse, who is skittishly eyeing him, still unsure of him.

''But nonetheless I promised him to take care of you today, for he is sick today, so here are some carrots, Leo said that you liked them,'' Cris said as he opened the satchel and emptied the content into his hand, carefully handing an orange carrot out to Moire, who sniffed it a little, leaning in to snatch it out of his hand.

''Good girl, I also brought you something else, this tunic belongs to Leo,'' he murmured as he pressed the sweaty shirt under Moire's nose and she smelled it slowly, making approving noises.

''Yes that's right, _Leo_ asked me to feed you and to brush you a bit today, but I can tell that you are not really in the mood for the latter option, besides you look pretty clean to me. So what do you say that I give you your food and be on my way then?'' 

Cris poured her breakfast and water into the stable and left Leo's tunic with her, cradling it over her long neck.

She did not seem to object to that, in fact she rather seemed to like the familiarity of the sent.

''Will you let me touch your neck a little?'' Cris asked when he could tell Moire was feeling a lot calmer.

He started humming the song Leo taught him and Moire visibly relaxed and even extended her long neck out of the stable to reach for Cristiano's stretched out hand.

''Good girl,'' he smiled as his hand touched her soft fur, and he slowly stroked her manes, remembering from Leo's stories that she loved that.

When her face was close enough to his own, he pressed a quick peck to her forehead, sealing his promise to Leo.

''He will be back soon, I promise. I will take care of him for the both of us,'' he ensured her.  
''I will see you tomorrow darling,''

Cristiano stroked her flank one last time before turning around and heading back to the villa.

When he reached their room and entered it, he saw Leo laying in _his_ bed, on his stomach as usual and he seemed to be sound asleep.

Cristiano shut the door and moved toward his bed, sitting down on top of the blanket, staring at Leo affectionately.

The very sight of Leo displayed in his bed, looking so utterly _sweet_ , helpless and calm moved something strange inside of him and he could feel his heartbeat pounding in his chest.

The feeling that Leo _belonged_  there suddenly overtook him and Cristiano could not restrain himself any longer.

He lied down onto the covers beside Leo, wrapped a protective arm around the younger man, shifting him up to his side and curled himself around Leo's covered back, burying his face against the hot skin of Leo's neck, holding him as tight as he can.

And just like that, he was home.

Somehow laying there with Leo cradled into his arms felt like coming home after a long and tedious journey. 

Which made no sense, seeing how neither one of them even had a home anymore, but perhaps they could built a new one together...someday. 

If Leo survived all of this.

Cristiano felt a lonely tear escape his eye as he slid his fingers into Leo's, holding onto him for dear life. 

That familiar urge of _protectiveness_ and worry washed over him again, like an iron fist clenched around his heart.

He was terrified of losing Leo, he needed to recover from this illness, he _had_ to.

His heart was hammering away in his chest, the blood was pounding in his ears and in one crystalized moment it all became clear to him.

Cris had developed _feelings_ for Leo.

Gods help him.

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I hope I'm not going too fast with some of you when it comes to Cris's feelings for Leo. But I think we all know that he has been smitten from the start of the story. He is only now realizing it.
> 
> Let me know how you guys feel about this chapter! <3


	9. I'm permanent.

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Leo wakes up in Cristiano arms and from there on, things go downhill.
> 
> Or do they?

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I'm soooo sorry for taking ages to update this guys! 
> 
> I've been so busy working and getting everything together for tomorrow. I have a busy and emotional day tomorrow concerning my grandma's ashes so my mind is a bit distracted. Still I hope that you guys like this chapter and that it was worth the wait. 
> 
> I wanna thank everyone for sticking with this story and for leaving sweet notes and kudos!

_Leo._

 

 

 

When Leo finally opened his heavy eyelids he resisted the urge to swear under his tongue.

His head was  _killing_ him, he felt extremely nauseous and the vertigo was so intense that the entire room seemed to be spinning around him like a whirlwind.

As a child he seldom got sick, despite the stone cold winters, probably due to Isbeil's constant care and ever watchful eyes.

The one time he had gotten sick, she had placed him by the fire, swaddled him in thick hides, fed him stew, tea and soup and didn't leave his side for five days until he was fully recovered.

Leo had only been a small child at the time so he had allowed the nursing without much complaints, but now _everything_ was different.

Now he was a fully grown man who was being coddled like he was that child again by another adult man, and frankly, the thought alone was _humiliating_ to Leo.

A woman fussing over him was one thing, but for Cristiano to lower himself to such a matter felt different to Leo.

Degrading somehow.  
To him and to Cristiano, who had been a Centurion in the Roman army.

If Stephanos had taken care of him, it had felt different for sure, seeing how he was of the same class as Leo, but Cristiano was five notches up the proverbial totem pole compared to him and it felt wrong to let Cristiano take care of him.

Leo still liked to believe that he had a little bit of pride left in his system and every fibre of his being seemed to object to being coddled by his own master, of all people.

A warm, solid pressure against his back startled him back to reality and he felt movement against his waist.

A muscled arm curled itself around his waist, or maybe it had been there the entire time and Leo resisted the urge to jump up with a yell.

For he recognized that arm. He would recognize it _anywhere_.

Cristiano was laying in the same bed as him.

After he had promised him never to force himself onto Leo.  
The man had actually crawled into the bed with Leo and was cuddling up to him as if he were his whore, his plaything, his subject.

Leo bit his lip and stared at the tanned arm that's cradling him, so firm and yet so tender.

He realized instantly that he has no place escape to, for he is too weak to climb out of the bed himself and Cristiano would never forgive him if he would go anywhere, seeing how that would eliminate all of his hard work.

Leo was trapped here, in bed, with Cristiano.

He was thankful that they are both wearing tunics and breeches, but still, the situation was hardly _appealing_ to him.

Blind panic and rage flared up in his chest as all sorts of scenarios play themselves out in his head.

Cristiano would force himself onto him, he would break his word for a Roman's word cannot ever be trusted, not _entirely_.

They will _always_ screw you over in the end.

Their sweet words and promises meant nothing in the end, not to themselves and not to their friends, nor the slaves they commanded.

Romans did not know the meaning of the word honor and that was something that would never change.

 _No_ , Leo fiercely shook his head to himself and sighed.

Cris wouldn't do that, after all: he had given Leo his word.  
He would not take advantage of him when he was at his most vulnerable.

When Cristiano gave his word to anyone, he would keep it, that much Leo knew, or he _should_ know after everything they have shared together.

And if Cris' former behavior was any indication to how he lived his life, then Leo was a fool for thinking otherwise.

Cristiano had taken care of him all day, forced him to eat and took care of Moire for Leo, risking his own safety in the process.

He would never lower himself to such vile behavior after all that caring, no that didn't make much sense.

Leo had to have _faith_ in Cris, he had earned that much from him during the past weeks.

Cristiano had never done anything that would make Leo doubt his word for he had always kept it.

He stood up for Leo when he had misbehaved, he had protected him when Leo was being a danger to himself and he fed him well and treated him with the upmost respect.

Treated him as if he were Leo Mac Cunoval again, son of the chieftain of the Brigantes.

Cristiano treated Leo as if he were his _equal_ and for that Leo felt grateful.

Besides: there was only one bed in their room that was large enough to accommodate Cristiano, for Leo was fairly certain he would not fit onto his little cot seeing how he was far too tall, and he shouldn't have to either.

These were Cristiano's own private chambers after all, and Leo was sleeping in _his_ bed, so Cris has every right to take shelter into the warmth and safety of it.

Leo is the guest here, not the other way around.

At that rational realization, Leo felt himself calm down slowly and he turned his body around as cautious and quiet as he could so that he would not awake Cristiano.

He slowly faces the dark haired man.

The arm was still loosely draped around Leo's waist, and the other underneath his pillow and Leo made no attempts to remove it, he just stared at Cristiano's fluttered eyelids and sighed.

The man still didn't make any sense to him.

Why couldn't he have been like one of his former masters: cruel, unyielding and abusive.

At least that was familiar territory to Leo.

It surely wasn't pleasant but it was to be expected.  
Cristiano however was full of surprises and Leo didn't deal with those very well.

He preferred the familiarity of the routine over something new and confusing. Even if that routine was horrible and painful.

At least he knew what to expect when he endured that sort of treatment from his old masters.

Now with Cristiano, everything was uncertain and strange to him.

His simple acts of kindness and affection were so foreign to Leo that it made his head spin sometimes.

And even though he was being treated better than ever, he still longed for the days where his life still made sense. Maybe it was just this villa, or this strange family, he pondered.

For uncle Aquila was every bit as _un-Roman_ as his nephew was.

He always called Leo by his own name and refused to give him a Roman name like most of his former masters had done.

They had called him Duro, Lucius and Remus and Leo had hated those names, hated them to his core.

He should be thankful that he was allowed to be with Cristiano and his family and yet it felt strange.  
Maybe the problem was that Leo simply isn't made for changes, and that he was so weary of them.

He was so _tired_ , tired of never belonging anywhere, tired of never having a home. 

He knew he was being ungrateful toward Cristiano and his uncle but he cannot help it. He simply hated change.

Even if it worked out to his advantage apparently.

Isbeil used to say that he was like an old oak tree, unyielding and strong but immovable and desperately stubborn to remain in the same spot for all his life if the choice was his.

Leo was unable to change his mind about anyone.

Once he had determined what they were like, there was no changing his mind, and therein laid his biggest challenge.

Leo needed to obtain the quality to actually alter his mind about people, to grant them a second change for once, for people were not always as simple as he liked to think they were.

Only now did Leo realize that she had been right all along. He really was a fool.

Here he was, laying in the safety of a nice warm bed, in a friendly household, with a man beside to him who guarded him with his life and still Leo was angry at Cris for being himself.

Angry at all the changes his new life was making him endure.

He was behaving like a spoiled child, which was ironic seeing how he was a fairly neglected child, never a spoiled one.

Leo needed to learn to open up to people, to actually trust them and there was no better time than the present to start with that challenge.

He extended his hand to Cristiano's arm and gave the soft skin a small pinch, hoping he would wake him with that gesture.

However Cristiano did not move and remained into his deep slumber, inhaling deep and peaceful as he released the air from his lungs. 

Leo snorted impatiently and boldly moved his hand further upward, to touch Cristiano's insanely soft, clean shaven cheek and when his fingers brush over the sensitive skin Cris' eyelids start trembling and he opened his chestnut eyes slowly.

Their eyes met and Cristiano seemed somehow disoriented for a moment when Leo stared intently at him, but then his eyes went wide with shock and he retracted his arm and moved away from Leo as if he had burned himself with hot water.

''Leo, gods you scared me,'' Cristiano blushed and he moved even further away, so that his body was almost at the far edge of the bed, creating a large space between them.

Leo instantly felt cold and found himself wishing that Cristiano hadn't moved.

''I'm sorry,'' he offered and Cristiano sniffed as he averted his eyes to the door as if he was looking for something. Leo knew that he wasn't. 

''What time is it?'' he asked and Leo shrugged.

''I don't know, nighttime so it seems,'' he said with a gaze at the darkness that surrounded the creaks through the door.

''Are you mad at me?'' Cristiano asked and Leo smiled gentle.  
''No, why would I be?''

''Because...I slept against your back,''

''I know, but why would I be mad at that? I was feeling quite cold so I was happy with the warmth honestly,'' Leo admitted and a visible wave of relief washed over Cristiano's beautiful face.

''Besides: this is _your_ bed, so it would be rather unfair of me to get upset with you for sleeping in it,'' Leo added and Cris smirked playful.

''You have a point there, how are you feeling?''

''Hm a little better. So how did it go with Moire today?'' Leo asked curiously as he turned to his back, folding an arm under his head for support.

''It went fine, she was very anxious toward me so I only fed her, I didn't feel confident enough to go into the stables to brush her honestly. But maybe I will do that tomorrow, if she is up for it,'' Cristiano mumbled as he slowly moved back into Leo's space and popped his head onto his pillow.

''Good, thank you for taking care of her, and me,''

''You're welcome Leo, it really is no trouble at all. You took care of me when I had my surgery so it was only fair of me to repay the favor,'' Cris said.

''I _had_ to tend to you because I am your slave Cris, there is a slight difference in the equation,''

''Still you took care of me, you could have left it to Stephanos but you actually helped me,''

''Because I _had_ to, I am your body slave and it is my job to do such things. Not Stephanos' and so I took care of you, because it was _ordered_  to me,''

''Gods Leo, do you always have to ruin every nice moment between us?'' Cristiano snapped and Leo lowered his head with a small cheeky grin.

''Apparently I do, I'm sorry,''

''You still do not trust me completely do you? I bet that you wanted to run out of this bed the moment you saw us sleeping so close together.  
Gods, I would have hoped-I mean I thought that-'' Cris stammered but Leo turned his head to the side, moved into Cristiano's space and covered his mouth with his right hand.

Their faces were so close together that their noses were nearly touching.

Cristiano's rapid, warm breaths landed on his cheek, creating goosebumps on his arms. 

''Stop. Listen to me: _I do trust you_. And yes it is true that I got a bit spooked when you had curled up against me in your sleep, it brought back certain-unpleaseant memories- that I had hoped to be rid of by now but I'm not.

But after I laid there a while, pondering things over, I calmed myself and I realized that I had no reason to be scared of you. You have never done anything that would make me distrust you and you have always kept your word to me.

For that I will always be grateful, but you have to understand that living here is confusing and hard on me,'' Leo explained but Cris didn't seem to understand him.

''What do you mean?''

''Well you see, all I've really ever known during my time as a slave to the Romans is cruelty, abuse and being raped on a daily basis. I have gotten so used to that form of treatment that it is hard for me to adjust to another one, a better one.

Trust me, I prefer living here where I can be safe and where I'm being treated with kindness and respect but it is so foreign to me. I have a hard time adjusting to change Cristiano, I hate it and I cannot deal with it.

And this household is so different from my last ones that I have a difficult time accepting my new life,'' Leo said and Cristiano grunted angrily and Leo could tell he had scorned him and that an outburst was imminent.

''So your would prefer it if we would beat you on a daily basis? Or if we would force ourselves onto you every night? You cannot be serious Leo!''

''Of course not! I would never prefer such treatment, but alas it is all I know in this life! And getting used to all this kindness is overwhelming and confusing to me!  
You taking care of me is-'' Leo pursed his lips together suddenly, fearing that he would not make any sense if he continued but Cristiano was thorough as ever and cupped his chin to raise it up to him, forcing Leo to look him in his chestnut eyes.

''Is what? Please tell me what the problem is with me taking care of you. I need to know, for I cannot read your mind,''

Leo would love to tell Cristiano what the problem was but he did not know the answer himself and therefore he pressed his lips together and exhaled deep.

''Please talk to me,'' Cris begged, impatiently, and Leo moved into Cristiano's space, allowing the older man to wrap his arm around his waist again.

He intertwined his eyes with Cris' again and suddenly the missing pieces of the puzzle fell into place in his mind.

Cristiano's eyes were the _exact_ same color as Isbeil's eyes were.

How had he never noticed that before?  
And suddenly he understood precisely what the problem was.

This was not about Cristiano taking care of him, it was about something else entirely.

''There has only ever been one person who took care of me when I was sick, and now that I am sick again it makes me miss them even more, it is like a blade that is cutting out my heart, you understand?'' he whispered and Cristiano nodded compassionate as he ghosted his fingers over Leo's back.

''It's your sister isn't it? All this care and friendliness reminds you of how Isbeil used to take care of you when you were a child,''

Leo nodded feverish and did not speak, for he feared that he would burst out into tears and shatter into the air the moment he does.

Tears were already building up in his eyes and he swallowed hard, attempting to force them away, but it is futile.

''You have her eyes,''

 _''I do?''_ Cristiano murmured, as his own eyes started to get slightly moist as well.

Leo nodded again and before he can utter another word, he moved himself forward into Cristiano's welcome embrace and felt strong arms cradling him as gentle as ever.

His tears were flowing freely now and they were raining down on Cristiano's tunic but neither one of them seemed to care about it.

Leo buried his head against Cristiano's chest, dug his fingers into the muscled waist and cried like a child.

Cried for everything he felt, everything he had endured over the past few years and for everything he had lost.

Leo had not cried like this in years, in fact the last time he cried was when he had fallen off his horse as a small boy and had bruised his leg pretty bad.

He had run to his mother for support, but he should have known better for as usual; she was too busy with the other children to concern herself with him, so he had ran to Isbeil, who had taken him onto her lap and held him for as long as he desired.

That was the last time he had cried, and the irony of his life was that he was crying in the arms of a man who not only shared his sister's exact eye color, but also her heart.

For Cristiano reminded him of his sister every day, it was silly that he was only now realizing that.

He shared her kindness and her caring character among other qualities.

Perhaps Leo's conflicting feelings toward Cristiano were finally explained now.

He reminded him of Isbeil, and the pain he had felt when he had to endure life without her.

Isbeil had been his rock.  
His shining star in the darkest of nights.

He had loved her with all his life and his heart had ached every day they had been parted.

She had saved his life, on more than one occasion and he had never thanked her for that.

He had never told her that he loved her.

Leo had never cried during his imprisonment by the Romans, not when he was being split open and raped every night, not when he was being beaten with every form of torture device you can imagine.

Leo never cried, for he still had his pride and he simply refused to indulge the Romans, refused to give them the pleasure of showing them his discomfort.  
But now he had finally broken down.

Years and years of held back grief suddenly overwhelmed him and he found himself helpless against the sheer power of it.

Cristiano held him quietly and calm and for that Leo is grateful.

He does not want to talk about anything right now, he simply wanted to lie there, cry and be held as if he were that pained child again, seeking comfort in his sister's arms.

''It's all right to miss her you know,'' Cristiano said tentative after what could have been a minute, an hour or a century, and he slowly stroked the tears off Leo's cheeks with his warm hands.

''I never told her-'' Leo hiccuped and he coughed loud as snot and tears drooped down his nose.

Cristiano reached out to the table and grabbed a small cloth with one hand, the other one still wrapped around Leo's waist and gave it to Leo, who wiped his nose quickly, feeling embarrassed and placed it back on the table.

''Take some water,'' Cris ordered, stern but friendly, and he released Leo for a moment, leaning upward to the table and handing Leo a cup of water which he groggily accepts and drinks as quick as possible, for a small part of him missed Cristiano's arms around him and desperately wanted to be back into the safety of that security.

Cristiano filled another cup of water for himself and drank it swiftly, before laying back down on his back, obviously hesitant if he should offer Leo his arms back or not.

His hand reached out to Leo, who quickly accepts it and snuck back against Cristiano's side as he presses his face down on Cristiano's chest.

He heared the older man inhale deep, sounding pleasantly surprised at the gesture, but the comforting arms closed themselves around Leo's body and held him tight.

''Now, what did you never tell you sister?'' Cristiano asked and with that simple question, Leo's tears returned, raining down like a waterfall this time.

''I never- told- her- that I- loved her,'' Leo stammered as he snorted his nose and exhaled deep.

''She knew that Leo,'' Cris assured him but Leo huffed unimpressed.

''What do you know about it? You do not even _have_ any sisters!'' he lashed out but Cristiano did not seem offended by his sudden anger.

''You say she is like me, if that is true than trust me: she knew exactly how much you loved her.  
For you cannot truly hide any form of emotion, no matter how hard you try to sustain your unreadable mask. Whenever you feel something I can read it off your face. So I think it is safe to say that Isbeil knew exactly how much you did love her. How could she not?'' Cris asked and Leo fell quiet for a long time.

He knew that Cristiano was right, in fact, Isbeil always used to tell him that his emotions were displayed all over his face, but Leo always thought that his unreadable mask was pretty solid.

He had never once doubted it.

Until now.

Cristiano seemed very keen on reading him, almost as much as Isbeil had once been able to do.

The rest of his family never understood much of him, nor did they ever try to understand him, only his sister knew what was behind his mask.

And now Cristiano seemed to have the same talent. Leo did not like that.  
He would prefer it to hide some part of his feelings away from his friend.

''Well it does not matter now does it? She's dead Cris,''  
''You do not know that. She may yet be alive,''

''She is dead, I am certain of it.  
The Romans broke through and I never saw her again afterward, if she was still alive she would have returned to our home to bury our family and to grieve with me.  
She never came back, because she is dead,''

''Or she was taken captive Leo, after all: that is what Romans do isn't it? She could still be alive somewhere, working for a Roman family,''

''Being a _slave_ you mean. Well then she would be better off dead wouldn't she?'' Leo snapped as he sat up and wiped his eyes with his sleeve.

''Not necessarily, not all of us are bad masters,'' Cristiano reasoned and he sat up as well to fold his arms together.  
''I know that, but you and your uncle are anomalies,''

A knock on the door startled both men but Cristiano recovered the quickest and said: ''Enter,''

Leo pulled the blanket up and tried to wipe his eyes as quickly as possible but it was already too late.

Uncle Aquila appeared in the doorway, wearing his usual white robes and he raised an eyebrow when he saw the two of them laying in the same bed.

Cristiano stared at his uncle with a calm, defiant expression on his face but Leo felt his cheeks heat up in embarrassment.

''Good evening to you both,''

''Good evening uncle,'' Cristiano replied and Leo nodded faint.

''How are you feeling Leo?'' the old man asked politely and Leo shrugged.  
''A little better domine,''

''You are quite the lousy liar my boy,'' the old man grinned, but Cristiano instantly jumped to Leo's defense.  
''Was there something you wanted uncle?''

''Yes actually, we are having guests over for dinner in a few hours. I expect you to attend,'' he said with a glare at his nephew and Cristiano rolled his eyes.

''Who is coming?'' he groaned, already annoyed because Cris clearly hated his uncle's parties.

All his uncle's guests ever did was insult his family name and talk about his father's lost eagle.

''Some old friends of mine, Leo you can stay in bed tonight for I want to see you well rested and healed all right?''  
''Yes domine,''

''Splendid, be ready in an hour Cristiano,'' uncle Aquila hummed and Cris rolled his eyes at him again.  
''Yes uncle,''

When uncle Aquila left the room and shut the door a long silence rose up in the air.

Leo knew somehow that everything had changed between them again.

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So...was it worth the wait? 
> 
> I hope it was okay and that the hug wasn't too much.  
> Let me know what you think :-)


	10. All that I am.

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Uncle Aquila invites some old friends over for dinner.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I had a good day yesterday guys, thank you for the sweet messages of support! I really appreciated them! 
> 
> I wrote the first half of this chapter this morning and the rest after work. Hope it lives up to your expectations. 
> 
> At least it is a quick update.

_Cristiano_.

 

 

 

 

 

''Will you _please_ stop fidgeting with that and just pick one!'' Leo's impatient voice seemed to come from very far away and Cristiano turned around to look at Leo who was still laying in the bed, sipping some soup from a wooden spoon. The bowl of broth was balancing onto the tray that was cradling in his lap.

Stephanos had brought it in an hour ago and Leo had grudgingly accepted it, for he still considered himself strong enough to walk to the kitchen to get it himself.

Which Cristiano had objected, _naturally_ , and he had overruled Leo in an instant, forcing the stubborn Briton to stay put, which was met with the usual form of resistance, followed by a parade of Gaelic curse words that Cristiano didn't understand.

Which was probably for the better.

''I don't know what you're talking about,'' Cristiano replied, a cheeky grin lingering on his face as he eyed himself in the mirror for the umpteenth time, arching a critical eyebrow at his own reflection.

''You have changed into about ten different sort of toga's for dinner and they all look precisely the same on you, even the colors are similar,'' Leo whined, obviously annoyed by Cristiano's vanity.

Quite honestly, Cristiano knew that he was being a _tad_ vain, but he was merely trying to impress Leo with his appearance, seeing how his looks had certainly never failed him before.

The embrace Leo had given him in bed an hour ago had done Cristiano's confidence a lot of good. It had also made him feel more certain that he was finally achieving some common ground with Leo and that perhaps, if the gods willed it, Leo even liked him.

It had felt so good, to feel Leo's slender body curled up in his arms, the warm, steady breath caressing Cristiano's chest, steadily touching him through his tunic.

The gesture had almost been _too_ much.

Cris had never felt anything like it and he found himself wishing that the embrace had never ended.

Cris knew that it was also a sign of sheer trust, for Leo had _chosen_ him, had confided in him.

Broke down in tears in front of _him_.

He knew that it meant everything and that it was a new milestone in their relationship that he cherished.

Whenever he heard Leo speaking about Isbeil, it seemed to grasp Cristiano by his throat to constrict him slowly and torturously.

He could tell by the look in Leo's eyes how much she had meant to him and he would give anything to be able to reunite them, and he silently prayed to the Fates that she would still be alive and out there somewhere.

She _needed_  to be alive. For Leo desperately needed her back in his life.

The long and thoughtful silence made Leo speak again, voice a little sharper this time.

''What are you getting so dressed up for anyway? Is your guest bringing an eligible _lady_ for you to wed?'' he asked and Cristiano could swear he heard a hint of jealousy in Leo's voice, or maybe that was merely in his head.

But when he turned to face Leo he could see that the man's face was slightly red and that his eyes were colder than stone.

Perhaps Cristiano was not imagining much after all.

''No, not that I know of,'' he replied calmly and Leo's eyes narrowed dangerously.

''Then _why_ are you dressing up like that?''

''I do not see why not? Must I not look presentable?''  
''That is not what I meant and you know it,'' Leo snapped and Cristiano resisted the urge to roll his eyes at his sick friend.

''Of course not, then what _did_ you mean?''

''Well...just that it would make sense, that your uncle will have you wed soon. That is what Romans do is it not, when they are finished playing soldier, they get married to ladies from important families, am I right?''

''Yes, but I will not get married Leo,''  
''That might not be entirely up to you and you know it,''

''I _refuse_ to get married to anyone,'' Cristiano said stubbornly, swallowing the words that stuck in his throat: _''Unless it would be to you,''_

''You cannot simply refuse your uncle anything Cris, he gave you a home.

Without him, where would you go? You would by lying dead in a ditch if it wasn't for him. If he tells you to marry an important lady, you must obey his wishes,'' Leo chided and Cristiano could not deny the truth behind those words.

''Yes but-'' he wanted to say: ''What sort of important lady would want to get married to me? A former Centurion with a mangled leg and a cursed family name,'' but he held his tongue, knowing that Leo would scold him for his self pity if he said it.

''You have no money, nothing of value. The only thing you actually own, besides me, is a cursed reputation. You have no place to go if you leave,'' Leo said and Cristiano felt the sting of the hard words echoing in his heart, gnawing at it slowly.

Leo merely spoke the truth, but the truth was not always pleasant to the ears, nor the soul.

''Why are you saying this?'' Cris choked out, struggling against his tears for Leo's words have tormented him.

They made him feel small and inferior.  
As if he had nothing, like he was a nobody.

And yes, he truly did not _have_ any money or possessions and he probably was nobody important anymore but he did not like to be reminded of that fact.

''I am trying to get you to open your eyes, for the reality is that Romans get married to women of suitable families.  
Therefore it would not be strange if your uncle would arrange your marriage to a presentable lady from a good family, in an attempt to restore your family name. You have to prepare yourself for that.

I have a feeling that your uncle will arrange for more dinner parties in order for you to find a good-partner. Mark my words: there will be women present tonight,'' Leo assured him but Cristiano shook his head.

''I do not care Leo, I refuse to get married. I simply do not want to get wed and that is my final word on the matter,''

''You surely are a strange one, what sort of Roman man does not wish to get married?'' Leo asked confused as he took another sip of his soup.

''I refuse to do anything until I have restored my family's good name,'' Cris bit out and Leo snorted unimpressed, crossing his arms together.

''And how will you attempt to achieve such a _miracle?''_  
''By retrieving my father's lost eagle from the north,'' Cris declared and Leo's eyes widened with pure shock and amazement.

Cristiano had thought about this option a few times over the past couple of days, realizing that he needed a new goal in his life.

If he could no longer prove his value as a soldier, he would do it by retrieving the lost eagle. 

Cristiano smirked amused by the fact that he had managed to baffle Leo completely.

''Nothing to say to that? That certainly is a first,'' he teased, as he pulled the light brown toga upward over his head and replaced it with the white one, eyeing himself critically and deciding to wear that one.

The white one brought out his eyes a tad more.

Then he realized that it was the exact same toga that he had discharged when he started trying them on, half an hour ago.

''You're _insane_ if you think you can last a second beyond the wall, they will kill you the moment they find out you are a Roman. No Roman can survive north of the wall,'' Leo said, sounding dead certain about that and Cristiano chewed on his lower lip, moulding on his thoughts before the solution presented itself in his head.

''I will if you come with me,'' he hummed triumphantly and Leo's eyes became even larger.

''Beg your pardon?'' he choked out, stumbling his knees against his tray, making the bowl of soup tumble over and spilling the content unceremoniously over the tray.

Cris strode forward to take the tray out of his hands and cleans the soup off it with a cloth.

''You speak the language, you know the territory. If you come with me, we might have a chance,'' Cristiano murmured, being sincere but Leo's face was growing paler and paler by the second.

He ungracefully pulled Cris down onto the bed, clasped both his cheeks into his icy hands and locked their eyes together.

His stern face reminded Cristiano of his father when he used to prepare himself for a long lecture.

''Listen to me: _no!_

I will not put you in such danger! It would mean risking your life on a daily basis! And mine.  
The north is a ghastly place for any Roman, it's rural, cold and it is full of rogue warriors, hostile tribes and dangerous glens.

Besides: your leg would only slow us down. I refuse to take you anywhere until you have properly healed and can walk again.

You are no good to me out there if you cannot run when we need to escape or fight properly.  
That would get the both of us killed in less than a day.

Your uncle would never allow us to go regardless, for he would never trust me to take care of you north of the wall for he knows that I am from the north. He will think I will turn on you and slit your throat the moment we step into the wilderness,''

''But you wouldn't do that,'' Cristiano said instantly, leaving no room for doubt in his voice, which seemed to impress Leo as much as it touched him.  
Leo released his face and moved himself out of Cristiano's space, much to his regret.

''How can you know that?'' Leo asked with disbelief written all over his face.

''Because I _trust_ _you_ , and you gave me your word along with your family's heritage. I know you would never break your word to me,''

''Well I am flattered by your trust, but still, you do not fully comprehend how large the north actually is.  
We could search for months and still find nothing.

Nobody knows where the eagle disappeared to. It could be melted down for all I know. How can a piece of metal mean so much to you,'' Leo said, disbelieving as he shook his head.

''The eagle is not a piece of metal Leo, the eagle _is_ Rome. And wherever the eagle goes, we can say: Rome did that. It is a symbol of our pride, our glory and our victories,'' Cristiano explained but Leo shrugged nonchalant.

''Rome did many things Cris, not all of them glorious and victorious to the people they conquered in the process. Trust me I know,''

A knock on the door prevented a further, heated discussion that was certain to embark between them and Stephanos appeared in the doorway.

''Your uncle's guest have arrived, young master,'' he informed Cristiano, who nodded.  
''Very good Stephanos, I will be out in a moment,''

The old man left and shut the door behind him, as Cris turned back to Leo, who had folded his arms together defiantly, looking quite ready for another argument.  
But Cristiano was not in the mood to fight anymore.

If it were up to him he would never argue with Leo again.

Unfortunately he knew it would always be inevitable with the two of them, for they were simply too different to agree on anything.

''I have to go,'' he said and Leo raised a questioning eyebrow.  
''Then go,''

''Do I look all right?'' he asked with another gaze at the mirror and Leo visibly cringed.

''You look _fine,''_ he said, clenching his jaw, obviously furious for some reason that was beyond Cris' comprehension.

''What is wrong Leo? What did I do?'' he asked as he sat back down on the bed and placed his hand on Leo's arm.  
''Nothing! Just go,''

''Please don't behave like that,''  
''Like what?''

''Like I have wronged you personally, like-'' Cristiano suddenly changed his mind about his sentence and swallowed the rest, sighing exhausted.

''Like...?'' Leo asked, but Cris wasn't in the mood to indulge him.

''Forget it,''  
''Tell me,'' Leo demanded but Cris lowered his head, as he ran his hand through his dark hair.

''No I am too tired to fight with you any longer Leo, I honestly hate and despise it. I just want to see you happy and taken care of. All this bickering exhausts me, please stop trying to lure me into arguments,''

Leo's expression softened a bit and he jerked Cris back down on the bed, intertwining their eyes as he clasped onto Cris' hand.  
''I am sorry, I did not mean to upset you. I am simply used to arguments I guess. My family fought all the time. I'm merely used to the rivalry of my brothers,''

Cris who had already forgiven him when Leo took his hand, stroked his fingers over Leo's small digits and smiled gentle.  
''It's all right. Now let me see about that fever,'' he said and he placed his hand to Leo's forehead, seeing the Briton rolling his eyes at his concerns again.

''You're still burning up pretty badly. Try to keep switching the cloths for cool ones to get your body temperature down all right?''

''Yes master,'' Leo grinned and Cris gave him a playful pet on his head.

''Good boy,''

''Try to have some fun tonight,'' Leo suggested but Cris pursed his lips together.

''Fun? With those stiff, boring old sods? You must be joking,''

Leo frowned. ''I cannot even remember the last time I made a joke honestly, a real one I mean. Me and my brothers used to tease our sisters the entire day, but ever since I became a slave...''

Another sharp knock on the door interrupted Leo's words and uncle Aquila appeared in the doorway this time.

''It is _impolite_ to keep my guests waiting Cristiano,'' he chided, but his blue eyes were twinkling mischievous and Cris knew that he was merely teasing.

''I am sorry uncle, I will come instantly,'' Cris smirked back and he hauled himself upward from the bed, ignoring his walking stick and shuffled to the door.

He turns around to Leo, winked briefly at him, making Leo blush in the process, much to his amusement, and left the room.

Cris slowly followed his uncle back to the dining room and he saw that Leo luckily had been wrong about one thing: there were no ladies present, only a couple of old, wrinkled men and their slaves.

Probably former soldiers, friends of his uncle as usual, Cristiano reasoned as he sat down near his uncle's left side.

''Cristiano, I would like to introduce you to two of my eldest friends: Claudius Marcellus and Lucius Metella, we served together in the good old days,'' uncle Aquila said and the old men leaned forward to shake Cristiano's arm.

''Good to meet you Cristiano,'' Lucius said, a small, grey haired man with dark eyes and an ill favored look.

His voice was slick and raspy and send involuntary shivers over Cristiano's spine.

''And you sir,'' Cristiano lied, a big insincere smile displayed on his face. He knew how to act like a true Roman was suppose to.  
These dinner parties were all about farces.

Nothing was ever real and everybody was saying the exact opposite of what they were meaning.

With Romans you had to learn how to read between the lines for very few of them were ever sincere.

Cristiano _hated_ having to forge his words, he would prefer to be honest about how he felt, but alas with Romans that was an unwise move.

The other man was a bit more likable, he gave Cristiano a warm hand and his eyes were kind.

Stephanos kept walking in and out of the kitchen to place pots of stew on the table, and he gave Cris a small wink, which Cris happily returned.

Two other male slaves were helping Stephanos with the heavy burden of setting the table and Cristiano eyed them curiously.

Both of the young boys were obviously Britons, one of them had blue ink on his wrist that reminded him of Leo's tattoo and the other had a wildness in his eyes that could only mean that he was born and bred in Britain for he clearly hated being enslaved.

Cristiano realized with a shock that he still had no clue as to how old Leo actually was.

Sometimes he thought that he was very young, not even twenty maybe, but other times Leo seemed so old and wise. He had never even asked it of Leo.

One of the slaves dropped a plate to the floor, shattering it into a thousand pieces and Lucius' face turned dark red.

''Come here boy!'' he shouted and the slave obliged, lowering his eyes obedient, although he could not hide the palpable fear that was being displayed in them.

Lucius grabbed a whip from his lap, that he clearly always keeps close and before Cris could comprehend what was going to happen, he lashed the young boy across his face with the merciless leather.

Cristiano's hands clenched themselves together into fists before he realized it and he was gritting his teeth to prevent himself from screaming at the old man.

The boy shouted in agony and covered his face with his hands, attempting to protect it from the second blow, which was sure to follow.

Blood was dripping through the gaps of his fingers and Cristiano furiously bit his lip, tasting the copper of his own blood on his tongue.

''REMOVE YOUR HANDS YOU WORTHLESS PIECE OF SHIT!!!'' Lucius bellowed, voice so deafening that Cris was certain Leo had heard it too.

It was even quite possible that the entire village had heard it. And that was miles away.

The boy was shivering as he slowly did as he was told, but Cristiano was not about to let that happen again.

He realized that he could not intervene, he should not, but this boy could be Leo.

In fact: this boy _was_ Leo, not too long ago.  
And Cris was not about to let it happen to anyone if he could prevent it.

He rose from his seat a lot faster than he would have thought was humanly possible in his condition and he leaped sideways to the boy as the whip lowered itself and the sting of the leather catched him on his arm.

It stung like his arms was on fire but Cristiano ignored it. 

Cristiano's other arm covered the boy, holding him tight.

''How dare you!!!'' Lucius screamed, lowering his whip and throwing it on the table with a loud bang. ''This boy is _my_ property and I will beat him as I see fit!''

''Cristiano, sit down,'' his uncle ordered, sounding as calm as ever but Cris could see how pale and unstable he had become.

The shock of what has happened displays itself on his uncle's concerned features.

Cristiano obeyed, knowing that he had to, gritted his teeth, his entire body shivering with anger.

''By the furies! What is the meaning of this! How dare you intervene between me and my slave!'' Lucius screamed and Cris nervously stared at his uncle, unsure whether he should say anything or if he should leave it up to the more tactical tricks of his uncle.

''My nephew is very sorry about all of this Lucius. I must apologize to you on his behalf. Cristiano is not very pleased with masters who beat their slaves. Not even when they deserve it,'' uncle Aquila said, voice straining and political.

''What kind of a Roman is he then? A cursed one, just like his blasted father I suppose,'' Lucius hissed and Cristiano felt his cheeks flush with rage as he resisted the urge to strangle the man with his bare hands.

''Tread very careful my friend, this is still my _brother_ you are speaking so ill about,'' uncle Aquila warned, his blue eyes filled with fury.

''I did not come here to be insulted and degraded by the likes of you! If you will excuse me old friends, I will take my leave now,'' Lucius said arrogantly as he rose from his seat.

He looked at the company as if he had hoped that someone would stop him but when he realizes that it isn't going to happen, he grabbed his slave by his arm, who noded thankfully at Cristiano behind his back and left.

''Forgive me uncle,'' Cris started but his uncle shook his head friendly and took his hand into his own.

''No I should be asking for your forgiveness, my dear boy. I should have never invited him, in fact I did not actually invite him.  
He followed Claudius and invited himself, but I should have refused him and I didn't.

I never even liked him, not one bit and we all know how cruel he can be. When he hit the boy, I knew instantly that you would intervene and I'm pleased and proud of you that you did.  
Having slaves is one thing, but I prefer to treat them properly, as you know,''

''As do I. In fact, I thought it was rather brave of you to stand up for the boy,'' Claudius said with a kind smile.

''Thank you for your kind words, both of-'' Cris said, but he fell silent as a female slave appeared from the kitchen, carrying a stuffed dove on a platter.

She was wearing white robes and a gold colored slave tablet that was bouncing on her chest.

She was rather tall, for a woman, and had thick dark brown hair which she carried in a long braid.

As she put the dove down onto the table, her face rose up to meet Cristiano's, and he could swear that his heart stopped for a moment as his throat constricted itself.

He could see his own eyes into her dark gems for the color was precisely the same.

And yet she had the same face as Leo, the same expression on it, similarly hard and defiant like Leo, the same color of hair and his handsome, rural features.

In fact the color of ripe chestnuts in her eyes was so similar to Cristiano's that for an instant he thought he is staring into yet another mirror.

But these were her eyes, and he had two of his own and there was no doubt in his heart that he knew who this was.

She smiled friendly at him and averted her eyes, turning around to walk back to the kitchens.

 _''Isbeil-wait please!''_ Cristiano blurted out, before he could help himself and a deadly silence filled the dining room as Leo's sister froze in her step and turned around to face him once again.

''What did you call me domine?'' she asked, her Latin accent a bit thicker than Leo's, but even their voices were alike.

''Isbeil, that is your name isn't it?'' Cristiano asked friendly and Isbeil nodded slowly, still clearly stunned with amazement.

''But how can you know such things? We call her Gaia in my household,'' Claudius said, raising his eyebrows.  
''Because her brother is here, under our care,''

''My-my brother?'' Isbeil repeated, jaw dropping a bit, the same confused look on her face that Leo sometimes gave him.

''Yes, Leo, he is here,'' Cristiano explained and Isbeil's eyes teared up as she let out a deep, relieved, heartfelt sigh, telling Cris that she had probably thought Leo was dead all this time.

''L-Leo is here? He's really here?'' she whispered, voice shivering and Cris nodded again.

''Yes, I can take you to him if your master will allow it,'' he suggested, with a sideway glance at Claudius.

Isbeil fell to her knees in front of the old man and took ahold of his hand.

''Please domine! Please...I have not seen my little Leo in ages. In fact, I had assumed he was dead. Please let me see him,'' she begged, her brown eyes desperate with sheer need.

''All right, all right. Do not worry dear girl, you can go,'' Claudius assured her and her eyes lit up with joy.

''Oh thank you domine, thank you. May all the gods bless you for your kindness,'' she murmured and Cristiano rose from his seat to escort her.

''Is it all right if we go and see Leo right now uncle?'' Cristiano asked, knowing that his dinner would get cold, but he couldn't care less.

He knew how ecstatic it would make Leo to see his sister and his only goal right now was to reunite the two.

''Yes, yes,'' his uncle hummed and Cristiano took Isbeil's arm and dragged her into the hallway.

''Leo is truly here? He is alive? Then why wasn't he working in the kitchens?'' Isbeil asked when Cristiano rushes her through the halls.

''He fell ill with a fever, so I've kept him in bed all day,''

''But why would you care how he feels? He is a slave yes?'' she asked with the same sharp tongue as Leo when he asked all his questions.  
Cristiano could tell instantly that she was not to be underestimated.

''Yes but I treat him like a friend. I never beat him or treated him badly Isbeil,''

She clearly seemed relieved at that revelation, but she was still hesitant toward him, much like her brother was at the beginning of their relationship.

Isbeil put her hands on her hips as the same unreadable look that Leo has sometimes covers her face like a mask.

Cristiano knows from personal experience with Leo that she was going to interrogate him.

''But how could you know that it was me,''

''Leo talks about you all the time, and he told me that you and I share a similar eye color. He also said that you always wore your hair in a long braid.

Leo told me that he never saw you get killed when the Romans broke through but he figured that you were dead.  
He sang your song to me, taught me the lines,'' Cristiano smiled as he softly sang Isbeil's nursery rhyme to prove his words to her.

She stopped behind him and covered her face with her hands, holding back a sob.  
Cris walked backward to her and wrapped an arm around her shoulders.

''Come along now, let's go see your brother, he needs you,'' he said as he gently nudged her toward the door to their chambers.

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Yay Isbeil is alive! I honestly couldn't resist writing her in this story. I know I'm deviating entirely from the movie but I don't care. 
> 
> This won't be canon anyway. Let me know what you think of it.  
> Hope you guys like this chapter! <3


	11. It is the things we love most that destroy us.

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Leo awakes from a very long and disturbing dream, to an even more shocking sight. 
> 
> His sister. Isbeil.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So sorry to keep you guys waiting such a long time!! But the Archive site wasn't working very well on my laptop for the past few days, due to some technical disturbance. 
> 
> So I had some extra time to think of how I was going to deal with this difficult reunion. 
> 
> Happy halloween to you guys ( if you celebrate it, in my country we don't ) and I hope you like this chapter!

_Leo_.

 

 

 

After Cristiano had left for his dinner party, Leo had tried to find himself some much needed rest.

He knew that even attempting it was probably futile, seeing how he seldom slept or found any peace when he was inside of the chambers by his own.

Somehow Leo had grown accustomed to Cristiano's company, had gotten used to listening to the older man's deep breaths and he often caught himself staring at the serene sight of the sleeping Roman.

Often wondering intently what was going on inside of that stubborn, pretty head of his.

Sometimes Cristiano suffered from nightmares, which he often seemed to have forgotten about when the morning came, but alas Leo did not.

He resisted the urge to cover his ears whenever he caught Cristiano in a bad dream, wailing and squirming loudly, calling out for his father mostly, and sometimes for Cub, the wolf he had lost.

Leo simply turned around to his other side and flunked the pillow over his ear, hoping the noise would fade into the distance but it never did.  
The pillow was, unfortunately, far too thin to attend to such needs.

He often wondered if he should wake Cristiano, seeing how the other man had done him the same favor when he had been having a nightmare a while back, but a warning in his heart restrained him.

Held him back.

Told him that coming too close to Cristiano was a very bad idea.

The voice almost sounded like his father, who was whispering in his ear that he was a fool to let himself grow so attached to a Roman in the first place, for Leo could no longer deny that he had.

He had grown to  _care_  about Cristiano.  
Cared about him like he would with a friend.

Not that Leo ever had any friends for he always spent all his time with his family while growing up, but he could imagine that having one would feel like this.

He had come too close to the other man, far too close.

Leo needed to keep his distance with Cristiano, let him know that he was still his father's son.

Still a proud Briton. Who refused to be _tamed_ by anyone.

When Leo finally felt the exhaustion wash over him like a wave onto a beach his eyelids dropped and sleep overtook him.

His dreams however, were far from pleasant, as usual.

He saw himself running through the edge of the forest, a pack of dogs on his trail, howling and barking at him with every step he took.

Darkness crept over the pine trees and the full moon illumined his path, which turned more dangerous and treacherous by the minute.

Rocks and tree stems continued to block his path, mud was sucking at his feet, attempting to consume him.

Having no clue as to who it was that chased him, Leo decided that the best option he had was to keep running in the other direction, just to be safe.

To his left the shape of an animal appeared in the corner of his eye and he heard a low howl come from the same direction.

The dogs had found him.

And now they would tear him to shreds.

Blind panic gnawed at his stomach as he clenched his hands onto a nearby tree, panting deep and exhausted as he turned to face the animal.

It was Cub, somehow Leo had no doubt about it.

Cristiano's former wolf that he had loved so much was staring at him, yellow eyes beaming with warnings in them.

Only he was not the same size as a normal wolf would be, he was far bigger, more _dangerous_ somehow.

This creature was wild and unyielding to him.

''Cub? W-what are you doing?'' Leo choked out, voice thick and strained with fear.

The grey wolf moved toward Leo, circling around him as he would when he cornered a prey, and Leo suddenly noticed that the sounds of the other dogs that had chased him had vanished back into the now deafening silence of the woods.

Cub tediously moved even closer, walking straight toward Leo now, who resisted the urge to run away, and stretched his nose toward him.

Leo hesitated only a second before he offered Cub his hand, so that he could smell that it was him and that he was no threat.

''It's quite all right, I am a _friend_ of Cristiano's. You do know him don't you? He _loved_ you very much, I could tell that by the look in his eyes when he told me about how he found you,''

Cub sniffed at Leo's hand, slowly investigating him, testing the truth in his words no doubt.

Leo wondered if the wolf could smell Cristiano's scent on him, if he did than he had good chances of keeping his arm instead of losing it to the powerful jaws of the animal.

''I mean you no harm, I assure you,'' he whispered and Cub stared at him, locking his yellow eyes with Leo's brown ones.  
Then he growled loud and bared Leo his teeth before lashing out toward Leo's hand.

Leo pulled himself backward just in time, tumbling to the soft moss that covered the dark earth and somehow Cub had vanished into the mist that Leo was certain hadn't been there a moment before.

Panting loudly, Leo scrambled himself upward and contained himself, clasping onto a tree as another horrifying sound reached his ears.  
The horrible sound of a horse in distress, begging for help.

An iron fist clenched itself around his heart when he recognized that scream.

It was Moire. She was here.  
Probably being eaten alive by Cristiano's blasted animal.

''Moire!!! Where are you?'' Leo shouted as he tried to peer through the ever growing thickness of the mist.

It was so vast, so stifling that he could not even see any trees surrounding him anymore.

The fog was suffocating him, constricting his throat with its invisible grip. 

He saw absolutely nothing so he walked toward the sound of her screams, begging that he would get to her in time.  
Leo heard the noise of a small stream nearby and followed the sound of the water, hoping that it would guide him to where he needed to be.

When he reached the river he saw his horse's black body laying on the moss, blood streaming in solid rivers from her flank.

 _''No, no, no,''_ he whispered as he ran toward her and slid his tunic off to tear it into pieces in a poor attempt to stop the bleeding.

But there were so many holes in so many places in her belly that he had no clue where to start.

Tears were already sprawled over his icy cheeks and his heart was hammering in his chest.  
She could not die on him, he would never forgive himself for it.

''I know darling, I should have been here to protect you from that wolf but I was too late. I am so sorry,'' he wailed and he kissed her forehead gentle as she made a soft soothing noise.

Still eager for his love and attention, even despite the fact that he had failed her. Failed to keep her safe.

''The wolf didn't cut her up boy, _I_ _did_ , _''_ a voice came from behind him and Leo felt familiar shivers go over his spine at the sound of authority in that voice.

Leo turned around so quickly that he almost dislocated his neck and gazed at the sight of his father.

Cunoval was wearing his armor, swords in their sheathes and a spear in his hand, face painted blue as if he were on his way to the battlefield.  
His long brown hair was dancing proudly on the wind and his icy gray eyes investigated his son critically, narrowing themselves at every glance.

''F-father, you hurt Moire? Why would you do that?'' Leo asked, feeling devastated and shattered at the mere thought that his father would be capable of inflicting such cruelty to someone he loved so much.

''I am lord Cunoval, I can do whatever I desire.  
This horse has made you weak, even weaker than you already were.  
It had to die in order for you to remember who you _truly_ are.  
Living with these Romans for so long as made you weak boy, and I am ashamed to call you my son. As far as I am concerned, I have no son anymore. You are not worthy of the title,''

Leo felt himself shrink under his father's hard words and when he turned around to look at Moire she had vanished into the mist.  
Then Leo realized something: this could not be real. He was dreaming again.

His father was dead and therefor could not be here. It wasn't rational.  
None of this was real.

''You can not do _anything_ father, for you are dead,'' Leo spat out.  
''What did you say to me, you stupid boy!''

''You are dead, killed by the Romans, don't you remember? Because I do. I am the last remaining member of your family. The only one who can preserve the Cunoval name,''

''No you cannot, for you are no son of mine. Any _worthy_ son would have slid his master's throat by now and escaped his captivity.  
But you did not do such a thing, you prefer to spread your legs for your Roman master don't you? You little whore,'' Cunoval barked out and Leo felt anger rising to his cheeks.

He felt humiliated and abused by his own father, who was not even alive anymore to torment him. He decided that he was not going to stand to be insulted by a ghost.

Leo bawled his fist and lunged forward, knocking his father to the ground in one single blow, using every ounce of hatred he still possessed toward him.

 **''He has never taken me, NEVER!!! Nor would he ever attempt such vile things!''** Leo screamed at the man who was lying face down in the mud.  
His father rose to his feet and smacked his son across his face.

''Oh but how you wish that he had,''  
Leo paled at the words and hissed.

''I would not,'' he offered weakly, knowing that it wasn't a very good counter argument.

''Yes you would, otherwise you would have slid his throat by now. Why haven't you done so yet?'' his father asked, sounding more curiously than upset.

''Because I owe him my life! He saved me in the arena! I made him a sacred vow of honor, to serve him and to pledge my life to him. I owe him a debt and I always keep my word. All Cunoval's do,'' Leo said, feeling empowered by his words but his father was clearly not impressed for the old man started chuckling amused.

''Oh Leo, you have always been such a stupid, ignorant, little boy. Our oaths are only legit toward our _own_ people, we do not owe the Romans any debts, not now, not ever.

You know this. So there really isn't an excuse for why you haven't slid the old man's throat, his slave's and your handsome master's besides the simple fact that you do not wish to do so.

For you have grown soft, like a woman.

Your sweet master has but to ask it of you and he will have you. He merely needs to say the word and you will obey him in every desire he has got. And you know he desires you.

You have seen and felt his eyes on you, felt his heart rate rising up whenever you are nearby.

He wants you and he is not even attempting to hide his feelings.  
If you allow him to take you, you will never be a Briton again,'' his father said, voice cold and unyielding and Leo felt the need to cry again.

His father's words didn't make any sense, for Leo had already been a whore to many Roman masters during his captivity. Why would he suddenly lose his honor if he were to bed Cristiano?

Not that he wanted to, clearly.

''Many Roman masters before Cristiano have had me father, why would I suddenly be dishonored if Cristiano would be the one to do it,'' Leo asked and his father smiled again, a little more vile this time.

''Because his father killed your _family_ , killed me and slaughtered my children in his search for gold and riches. He paid for it with his life, but the song remains the same. If you give yourself to him, you will dishonor the memory of your entire clan.

If you wish to redeem yourself then you need to kill him, slid his throat when he is asleep and escape.

Come home to the north and start a family with a woman from a good family. Make certain that our family name endures. Have many son's. 

That should be your only task, your only objective in this world. Not spreading your legs to the Roman who killed your family,'' Cunoval reasoned but Leo shook his head and shoved his father against a tree, pinning him against it, locking their eyes together.

He felt like his eyes were burning with fire, that was how angry he was. He clenched his jaw furiously when he spoke again. 

''Cristiano is not responsible for the death of my family. His _father_ is.  
I cannot hold him accountable for his father's actions.  
He did nothing wrong and he was merely a child when his father chose his path. He is innocent, and I will not harm him. I would rather slid my own throat than break my vow to him,'' Leo said, meaning every word from the bottom of his heart.

''Innocent? That son of a whore has never been innocent! No Roman is ever innocent you stupid little shit! Your love for that Roman is going to ruin you-''  
Leo's breath caught in his throat at his father's words.

Love? Leo did not _love_ Crisitano.  
He cared for him, certainly, but love...

Leo was quite certain that he had forgotten the meaning of the word during the past few years of slavery.

Love was for the children, storytellers, the women and the weak.

Love only had the power to destroy you for love made you feel vulnerable. It meant that you cared for someone so much that losing them would break you.  
Loving anyone was dangerous.

''I do not _love_ him,'' Leo objected but his father rolled his eyes at him.  
''Do not fool yourself you stupid child, I know more than you think. He has promised to free you didn't he?''

Leo nodded miserably as he waited for more.  
''And you actually believed him?'' his father asked, sounding almost pitiful toward Leo now. As if he were stupid enough to believe any Romans word.

''Yes, I know he will keep his word,'' Leo said, attempting to sound confident but the quiver in his voice betraying him.

''Leo, listen to me very well now: he will break his word. First he will have you in his bed the moment you consent to it, for you will in good time, and afterward he will discard you.  
For he will marry a rich girl from a good family and he will send you off to the nearest whorehouse without blinking his eyes,'' Cunoval rasped but Leo shook his head stubborn, tears shining in his eyes.

''You're wrong, he would never do such a thing. I know it,''  
His father stroked his cold cheek and sighed deep. _''My poor child, you_ _know nothing,''_

_''He promised me-''_

''Promised? He is a cursed son of a whore! His word means as little as the shard of honor you think you still possess,'' his father snapped and Leo broke.

He screamed as he pulled his father's sword from the sheathe and buried it deep into his father's chest, pinning him down onto the tree bark, skewering him in half.  
''Don't you dare speak about him like that!'' he hissed in his father's ear as the warm blood streamed over his shaking hands.

His father smiled at him, cupping his cheek with his hand before he vanished, making Leo lunge forward against the tree.

A warm voice behind him called out, making Leo's heart stop. ''Leo,''

He turned around again, the forest fading behind him as he stepped forward to face his sister.

''Isbeil,'' he panted and he jumped forward to embrace her as tight as he could.

She was wearing a clean white dress that made her look like a Roman goddess and she looked a lot more beautiful than Leo remembered her to be.

Leo almost felt ridiculous next to her, wearing his plain brown tunic and simple breeches.

She still smelled the same as she always had, like earth, honey and pine cones and her brown eyes were warm and inviting.

''My little brother,'' she murmured as she held him tight, stroking the back of his neck like she had always done when he was feeling upset.

His arms came around her waist and he placed his head into the nook of her shoulder.

''I am so sorry, I should have saved you-'' Leo choked out, tears staining his cheeks but his sister shushed him calm.

''Shhhh my little Leo, it's all right,''

Leo saw the long braid of hair clanging to her back and he couldn't resist to give a gentle tug at it, smiling to himself at the familiarity of the gesture.

He heard her smile too as she sat both of them down on the moss, which was now warm instead of cold and she clasped onto his hands with hers.

''I should have looked harder for you,'' he said, still resenting himself for giving up on his sister so easily.

That was the one thing he could never truly forgive himself for. Nor would he ever let it go.  
''You did look for me Leo, but it was of no use,''

''And now you are dead,'' Leo groaned, but Isbeil cupped his cheeks and forced him to look him in her gorgeous brown eyes.

''Listen to me very carefully baby brother: I am _not_ dead. The Romans took me prisoner the day father fell. I am still alive,'' Isbeil promised but Leo shook his head, not ready to believe in such wonders.

''No you are not,'' he said, shaking his head.

''Yes I am, in fact I am a lot closer than you might think,'' she hummed mysteriously as she stroke a defiant strand of hair out of his face.

''Can you sing to me?'' Leo murmured, and his sister arched an eyebrow, reminding Leo of Cristiano who always loved to arch eyebrows at him whenever he thought Leo was being stupid.

Isbeil clearly had not expected the sudden change of topic but she obeyed him nonetheless.

''Of course, come here little one,'' she hummed as she stretched her arms out to him and Leo backed himself into them, placing the back of his head against her shoulder as she wrapped her arms tightly around him.

Leo looked at his hands and noticed that they had grown smaller and somehow his legs had seemed to shrink.

Instinctively he knew that the dream had taken him back into time somehow and that he was being a small boy, maybe eight years old who took comfort in his sister's welcoming arms as usual.

That was obviously why Isbeil told him that she was still alive, because the events that had lead up to her death had not happened yet.

''Which song would you like to hear?'' she asked as she stroked his chubby little cheeks, making him giggle for he had always been ticklish as a child.

''The one with the bear and the eagle,'' Leo demanded, hearing the high pitched voice that was not his own and somehow it was.  
He had long forgotten about that voice.

 _''Again?''_ Isbeil grinned, clearly resisting the urge to roll her eyes at him.  
''Yes, it is my favorite Isbeil. Please...'' Leo begged but he needn't have bothered for Isbeil never denied him anything.

''Oh very well,'' she smiled and she began singing, her voice as beautiful and clear as ever.

Leo turned his small body sideways so he could snuggle his face against her stomach like he always used to and he soon found himself entranced by the beautiful notes, dozing off in her comforting arms, eyelids falling closed.

The soft singing continued itself in his head and when Leo finally opened his eyes again he knew that his dream had vanished. And yet somehow the sining was still making its way into his ears.

Someone was still sining his lullaby to him.

At first he thought it might be Cris, but the voice was definitely female.  
Soft, familiar hands stroked his forehead and Leo felt himself being torn back to consciousness, away from his sister's arms.

No, he didn't want to go back.  
He wanted to stay there with her, safe in her arms, just sleeping.

He struggled against his mind, begging for whatever gods existed to let himself remain in the world of dreams for a little while longer, for he desperately needed his sister.

Leo could not lose her again, not now that he had finally found his way back to her in his dreams.

''Leo, come back to us,'' another voice said.

Cristiano's voice this time, but Leo's soul seemed to be shaking his head to his friend.  
Or maybe his body was merely shaking.

''You have to leave,'' Isbeil's ghost was telling him, urging him to wake up.  
''I do not want to leave you,'' Leo cried, embracing her as tight as he could with his little arms.

''You do not have to little one for I am already with you. You merely have to open your eyes to see that I am speaking the truth,''

''I can't,'' Leo objected, worried she would disappear into a the darkness if he obeyed her.

''Yes you can, trust in me Leo. Open your eyes for me. You can hear me singing to you can't you? Even now that I am not chanting anymore?'' she asked and Leo nodded in amazement.

She had been right indeed. He still heard her sining in a distance.  
How was that even possible?

''I am with you, you simply need to trust me and open your eyes and I will be there,'' she ensured him and she bowed forward and kissed his forehead.

''You promise?'' Leo asked childishly and Isbeil nodded.

''With all my heart, I promise,'' she vowed and Leo forced himself back to reality where he flew upward in his bed, face drenched in sweat.

''Leo,'' a voice to his right said and Leo's jaw dropped.  
''Isbeil?'' he gaped, eyes huge and unbelieving of such a wonder.

''Yes I am here,'' she hushed and he grabbed her arm, not too gently and pulled her onto the bed, embracing her as tight as he could.  
''Is it really you?'' he cried as he felt her arms come around him, stroking his back slowly.

''Yes it is me,'' she sobbed as her tears drenched his tunic.

''It cannot be, I thought you were dead,'' he choked out, voice strained with held back relief and a river of tears that seemed to consume him, drowning him slowly.

''No little brother, I was taken captive like you,'' she explained and Leo let out a huge sigh of relief, mangled with anger over the fact that his sister had to live like a slave for all these long years.

The thought alone was almost too much for him, this entire time he had blamed himself for not being able to protect her, to keep her safe, and here she was.

Being used like a common slave for some fancy Roman who surely took her to his bed each night for his sister was very beautiful.

''Did they hurt you? Please tell me they didn't,'' Leo asked sharply as he locked his eyes with her brown ones.  
''No, not usually. Most of them treated me kind enough,'' she shrugged.

''But they did take you to-''  
''You do not want to finish that sentence _little man,_ for it is none of your business and I will smack you if you ask it of me,'' she said sternly and Leo nodded.

''Very well,'' he had certainly not forgotten how hard his sister could be and he was not in the mood to ruin their reunion.

''Apologize to me for being rude,'' she demanded, placing her hands on her hips and Leo rolled his eyes at her in amusement.

They had been reunited for two seconds and they were already arguing again. Things didn't change apparently.  
And somehow that was a comforting thought.

''I am sorry Isbeil,'' Leo said obedient and Cristiano snorted behind them.  
Leo had almost forgotten he was there too.

''You have to teach me how you do that Isbeil, for Leo never listens to me when I tell him to do anything,'' Cristiano grinned, winking at Leo, who realized it was a joke, but alas his sister did not.

She rose from the bed and walked toward Cristiano with a threatening look in her eyes. ''Don't you dare talk to-'' she started but Leo cut her off.

''Stop it! He was merely joking Isbeil! Leave him alone,'' Leo snapped at his sister, who turned around at him and huffed.

''It did not sound like a joke to me,''  
''And yet it was, Leo is right. Forgive my poor humor,'' Cristiano offered and Isbeil narrowed her eyes at him, reading him thoroughly.

''Very well, I accept your apologies,''

''Good, then I will take my leave now, give you some time to catch up,'' Cristiano said and he walked to the bed to hand Leo a fresh cloth to dry his sweaty forehead.

Leo reached for his forearm and curled is hand around the muscles. ''No, stay. I would like you to stay here with us. Listen to our stories, get to know our culture a little better,''

Leo was lying a little bit and he had a feeling that Cristiano picked up on it, specially when he averted his eyes but Cristiano nodded and sat down next to him.

The truth was that Leo only trusted two people in this entire word and both of them happened to be in the same chambers now.

And his dreams had troubled him, panicked and confused him and sent distress through his system.

Therefore he wanted the two people he cared most about close to him, to feel a bit safer, somehow.

''Very well, I will stay a while. But I will leave eventually, for I do not know how much time you two have together before Isbeil must return to her master,'' Cristiano agreed.

''Thank you Cris, it- it means a lot to me,'' Leo choked out, pulling Cristiano forward into a muffled embrace that clearly completely surprised the older man.

''What's wrong Leo, why are you so upset?'' Cris asked, as Leo buried himself deeper into the warmth of those strong arms.

''Dark have been my dreams today,'' Leo replied and Cris sighed, pulling Leo a little closer.

''I am sorry I was not here to keep you safe,''

''It is not your fault,'' Leo assured him but Cristiano's snort told Leo that he felt otherwise.  
''I should have been here,''

''But you weren't, you were at a dinner party, how did that go? Did you get yourself in trouble again or were you a good obedient little Roman this time?'' Leo teased and Cristiano grinned cocky at him.

''What do you think?''

''Oh you _definitely_ caused trouble, it is what you seem to do best,'' Leo concluded and Cristiano let out a deep, heartfelt laugh.

''You got that right,'' he said as he placed a soft kiss to Leo's forehead that sent a shiver over Leo's spine.

Suddenly Leo's father's words were echoing in his head: ''Your love for that Roman is going to ruin you,''

Leo quickly released Cristiano and moved back from him as if he had been struck by lighting.

_Love? What was love exactly? What did it entail?_

Leo had no clue and yet somehow he had a feeling that he knew exactly what it meant.

He turned to his right and saw his sister staring at them with her jaw almost reaching the floor and a shocked expression on her face.

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Wow it became totally different than what I had planned, but I do hope you guys like it.  
> I'm kind of insecure about this, and I hope I got the dynamics right. 
> 
> The dreaming stuff got way too long and out of hand, but I hope you guys liked the symbolism. Dreams often show us our fears, desires and internal debates. 
> 
> It is Leo's way of dealing with his ever gnawing guilt over losing his sister, his struggle to deal with Cris and how he feels he is letting his family down if he lets him get too close. 
> 
> I hope the reunion with Isbeil was okay, I know I turned the attention back to Cris and Leo too quickly but I wanted to show that Leo is finally realizing that he needs Cris as much as he needs his sister. 
> 
> For he has grown so used to his company that he trusts him now, looks for comfort in him.  
> Let me know what you think of this chapter guys, notes keep me going! 
> 
> Happy Halloween! <3


	12. Please don't leave me.

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Leo, Cris and Isbeil have a little chat.
> 
> Afterward Cristiano visits Leo's only friend.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> First of all, I want to thank everyone for continuing to leave me notes and kudos! It means the world to me to know that my writing is appreciated and that people like this story. 
> 
> Second of all, I hope that this chapter will be good for everyone.  
> It has some elements of violence in the second part of it, and there will be mentions of blood, so if you're don't like it, tread carefully.
> 
> God I only now noticed that this is the longest chapter so far. Wow.

_Cristiano_.

 

 

 

 

After Isbeil had sat down on the bed next to her brother, Cristiano busied himself by filling their cups to a reasonable amount with wine.

He handed both of them a cup and poured another one for himself, his mind still moulding over everything that had happened these past few hours.

It seemed that the gods kept intending on not giving him a moment of solitude where things simply stayed the same, for once.  
Everything always kept changing.

The wheel turned on and on, as it must, as it always had and always would be.

Cristiano had always resented the gods of Fate, for they were cruel, unyielding and loved to thwart him by taking everything that mattered to him away whenever they felt like it.

And now here they were, meddling in his affairs as per usual. For he could not shake the nagging feeling in his gut that Isbeil would take Leo away from him.  
That he would lose him to her somehow.

He knew rationally that it wouldn't be possible, for Isbeil was being owned by a powerful Roman family in Calleva, but still, he felt like he was on the brink of losing Leo forever.

If Leo would be handed the choice to stay with Cris or to leave with his sister to live at her villa, it was no contest as to what he would choose.

She was his _kin_ after all, the woman who had basically raised him from birth and who had kept him alive during the long winters.

Leo loved her, that much Cris knew.  
Now that they were finally reunited, there was no chance that he would let her go again, not without a fight.

Leo's behavior had certainly been _odd_ when he awoke from his nightmare- to say the least- when he had embraced Cris again and buried himself into his arms.

Cris kept wondering  _why_ he had done so yet again.  
Why Leo apparently valued his comfort so much that he kept asking for it.

It had taken Cristiano about two seconds to determine that he liked Isbeil.

She was strong, with the ambiance and gracefulness of a queen.

Fierce, stubborn and proud like Leo was, but behind that staunch mask hid a very warm and friendly woman, who loved her family more than anything else in the world.

And she had just found her little brother again, after assuming he was dead for many years.

The tears in her steel eyes when Leo had embraced her had not surprised him, and yet somehow they had.

He would have thought that she would have been too _proud_ to allow him to see her tears, and she had tried to hold them back, but at the sight of her little brother who was cradling her in his arms she broke.

The shields of her eyes were sliding down, slowly evaporating and the warmth returned like a sunny morning in spring after a long winter.

After Leo had sought out Cristiano for support and pulled away from his arms, Isbeil was staring at them, her jaw dropped and her eyes stunned.

She was gaping at them, as if they had done something wrong.

 _''Leo,''_ she mumbled, followed by some sentences in Gaelic that Cristiano didn't understand at all.

But judging by the angry look on Leo's face, they weren't exactly positive.  
Leo growled and hissed something back at her in their own complicated language and turned to Cristiano.

His sister repeated her words, adding a few other ones that clearly made Leo even more uncomfortable and she gestured toward Cris with her head. Obviously urging Leo to translate something for her.

''My _dear_ sister would like to know how long you have been using me for your own personal pleasures. I told her that you never...but she did not believe me,'' Leo said, voice muffled with embarrassment and his cheeks dark.

Cristiano felt the same heat spreading to his own face, as his insides turned to stone. He drank the last bit of his wine and slipped off his sofa to cross the short distance toward the bed, sitting down next to Isbeil, locking their similar eyes together.

''My dear lady, your brother is right. I have _never_ taken your brother, nor would I ever,'' he assured her.

Besides Isbeil, Leo's face turned darker by the second.  
A tensed look crept over his features and a muscle on his jaw twitched.

The feeling that his comment had disappointed Leo with his words made its way to Cristiano's heart, but he ignored it. He was surely making things up again. Seeing merely what he wanted to see.  

''Hmm you speak the truth domine, I can see it in your eyes. But it is not the _whole_ _truth_ is it?'' she asked in Latin, her accent thick and clumsy but the message remained the same.

Cristiano flushed as he tried to compose himself and he exhaled deep. ''It is the whole truth my lady,''

Gods why did he have to blush? Lying had never been one of his better skills, in fact he was plain lousy at it. He was probably the only Roman who had not mastered the art of deception. 

''The truth is never _simple_ domine, and yet somehow it is,'' Isbeil replied, a knowing smile on her lips as she turned to her brother to place her hand on top of his restless ones that were tugging at the pillowcase.

Leo always started plucking at things whenever he felt uneasy, he started busying his hands with all sorts of useless matters and Isbeil's hand stopped him. Thankfully.  
''As you say my lady,'' Cris admitted and Isbeil narrowed her eyes at him.

''You do not call me _'my lady'_ domine. That title is meant for high born _Roman_ girls,''

''You might not be a high born Roman, but you are a lady of your own tribe aren't you? You were the daughter of Cunoval, lord of five-hundred spears. You are royal blood north of the wall. Therefor I will call you my lady if I choose to do so,'' Cris said and her eyes went large again, as if she could not believe his words.

And clearly she didn't. ''You cannot mean that domine, no Roman cares for who we used to be before we became slaves,''  
''I do mean it,''

She gaped at him again, before turning to Leo, raising her eyebrows as if she was asking him for affirmation.  
''Oh he means it,'' Leo assured her.

''How can he?''

''Because he is _Cris_ , and he always means what he says and he does care about our stories,'' Leo replied, the answer so simple and true and yet Leo's complete trust in his sincerity touched Cristiano, in fact the small comment dampened his eyes a little.

He inhaled deep, urging them away. No, he would not cry, not in front of Leo and his empowering sister. They deserved better than that.

''What does he call you then?'' Isbeil asked and Leo shrugged, grinning a bit. ''Leo,''

''And he calls me by my first name, as you might have noticed. We are _friends_ Isbeil, and I treat my friends with the respect they deserve,'' Cristiano intercepted and Isbeil drank her entire cup of wine in one long sip after his strange words.

Logically this was all very foreign to her, a Roman who treated her baby brother with the upmost respect was ridiculous where she came from.

She started speaking in Gaelic again but Leo raised his hand and gave her a stern look.

''No, speak to me in Latin. It is considered  _rude_ to speak in our own language when we have company,'' Leo chided and Cristiano appreciated the sentiment. It felt extremely unsettling to sit there, watching them bicker and to not know where they were speaking about.

''Excuse me, little man,'' she hissed, sounding furious again but Leo got angrier now too.  
''I am _not_ your little man any longer! I am a _man_ now, not that little boy you used to sing to when we were children,''

''You are still that little man to me Leo, you will _always_ remain my little man. That is the right any older sister has, our baby brothers never really grow up in our eyes.  
They will always be special to us.

And calling you little is not meant as an insult, you are after all quite small for your age. I knew I should have stolen you more food to feed you better. All of our brothers were basically giants, but thanks to me you never grew tall,'' she said sadly, guilt written all over her beautiful face.

Leo squeezed her hand tight. ''No sister, it wasn't your fault I didn't grow taller. It was father's fault,'' Leo said bitterly and Isbeil bowed her head, looking weary and morbid.

''You have always hated father,''

''As did you,'' Leo reminded her and Isbeil hummed in agreement.  
''He treated you badly, no one should be allowed to mistreat his own children,'' Isbeil bit out, eyes steely again. Filled with rage and hatred.

''What did he do to you?'' Cristiano couldn't help but ask, as the question was burning on his lips. He was not even certain he would desire to hear the answer, for in his opinion, Leo had already suffered enough at he hands of the Romans.

If he were to find out that his own father had beaten him as well, Cris feared his heart might give out on him. That the anger would shatter him into a thousand pieces.  
Leo swallowed hard as his sister wrapped her long arm around his body, cradling him against her side.

''He beat him, whenever he was displeased with anything he would take it out on Leo. I tried to take most of the hits for him, tried to distract father whenever I had the chance, but...'' Isbeil choked out. She pressed a tender kiss to Leo's temple and pulled her shivering brother even closer, stroking his cheek lovingly. ''...it was not nearly good enough to keep Leo safe,''

''He always _hated_ me,'' Leo mumbled, burying his head against his sister's shoulder.

Tears were dangling on his eyelids and Cris wished that he could be the one to wipe them away, the one who would sooth him, but Isbeil was already there and Cris was certain that she was all Leo needed.

Although he hoped with all his life that Leo would still need him, even now that he had found her again. He still needed Leo to desire the support of _his_ arms as much as he needed hers.

''I never understood _why_ he resented me so much,'' Leo coughed and Isbeil fed him some water, placing her hand on his forehead.

''None of us did,'' she hushed as she pressed a cold cloth to Leo's burning skin. ''You need to lie back down little man, your fever is flaring up,''

''I'm not little-'' he protested but she pressed her finger to his lips.

''Be quiet you stubborn little mule,'' she laughed and Leo stuck his tongue out to her, leading to her giving him a foul face.

Afterward they both laughed, probably at the familiarity of being able to tease each other again. 

''I am _not_ going to sleep now that you're finally here,'' Leo objected, crossing his arms together defiantly.

Isbeil said something in Gaelic that made Leo's eyes grow huge and amused and they burst out into laughter together, the joke completely lost to Cristiano, who felt like an outsider, an unwanted guest at a party.

Cristiano decided to leave.

He wanted them to have a good conversation in their own language without her having to struggle to speak Latin for his sake.

So he got up from his bed and shuffled toward the door.

''Where are you going?''  
Ah of course, Leo was not going to let him go so easily.

Somehow that comforted Cristiano, to know that Leo still cared where he went.

''Back to the dinner, I'm certain you two will have loads to talk about and doing everything in Latin will only slow you down. I will be back soon,'' he promised and when he had his hand on the door handle, Leo spoke again. ''Don't drink too much, for I am in no condition to tend to you when you are puking your guts out tomorrow morning,''

Cris froze in his steps and turned around to look at Leo, who was grinning like a child, face buried in his pillow.  
No, that was not Leo's pillow, it was his, he suddenly realized.

Leo was laying on _his_ side of the bed and had stolen his pillow. Cris tried very hard not to read too much into it, but his imagination went berserk in seconds.

''I won't,'' he replied and he opened the doors and left them.  
He shuffled back into the hallway but decided not to go back to the dinner.

He was in no mood to face his uncle and his friend Lucius so he went to the gardens to go for a little evening stroll.

The air was cold and icy and he wished he had remembered to bring a thicker cloak with him for this thin woolen one was not very helpful in the autumn weather.

It was a clear sky tonight, plenty of stars to admire and the moon was almost at her full pride, beaming solemnly, ever watchful.

Cristiano grabbed a torch from the garden and his legs brought him toward the stables, not completely sure as to why he wanted to go there, but he figured that seeing Moire might do him some good.

He slid the heavy stable door open and strolled inside, greeting the horses with a enthusiastic look.  
''Well hello there,'' he mumbled as he patted the curious horses on their necks and faces.

Moire was the only horse who hadn't extended her neck out of her stable to see who was coming at them. A sign that alarmed Cris and he quickly moved toward her stable, cursing his blasted leg for not allowing him to be able to run.

He halted at the door and saw that she was lying on the straw, her eyes open and alert, the blanked draped over the stable door, the boys had clearly not dared to place it over her.

Cris figured that she might be cold for she was shivering uncontrollably. Or maybe it was simply fear. Cris was fairly certain that she still feared him almost as much as she did those stable boys.

''Moire,'' he greeted her with a nod and she huffed at him, barely acknowledging him.

''Are you cold?'' he asked her, as his hand automatically moved toward the stable door to open it. This was a very bad idea, he told himself.  
Very stupid.

She could trample him in an instant.

And yet, now that she was displayed all over the floor like a mere fowl, he found his fear ebbing away slowly.  
Moire hardly looked very intimidating now that she was lying down, in fact she looked as if she could need a warm hand as much as he seemed to need it.

They were _both_ going to lose Leo soon, Cris was sure of it.

Leo would ask to be sold to Isbeil's family and his uncle would probably even agree, seeing how Leo had caused him nothing but trouble so far and they would never see him again.

Moire would be his to take care of after Leo had left. For if he didn't she would be put down and served as supper. Sure as day.  
He needed to protect her from such a fate.

When Leo would be gone, she was going to be the last part of Leo that would reside in the villa. Cristiano needed to cherish that, hold onto that.  
For as long as he could.

Cristiano grabbed the brown blanket and entered the stable, his heart pounding in his ears as he moved toward her, as slow and assuring as he could.

She growled at him, like he had expected her to do, but she did not rise from the straw and remained silent.

''It's very cold darling, you need to be covered up, otherwise you might fall ill, like Leo did,'' he told her as he halted at her body, crouching down to touch her neck.

She bared her teeth at him, ears flattening but she did not bite or lash out to him as his hand touched her manes.  
''Shh that's good, that is a good girl,'' he hummed, gazing her into her black eyes.

She looked _nicer_ somehow, more pliant and friendly than ever.

As if the happiness of Leo's reunion with Isbeil had somehow reached her heart as well.   
He hummed Isbeil's lullaby to her and felt the horse's tensed muscles go pliant under his touch.

When he felt confident that she was calm enough he settled himself against her flank, leaning his head against her strong shoulder.  
She tensed up once again, but at the sound of his voice, settled back into a state of blissful comfort.

He slowly tugged the heavy blanket over her back and caressed her favorite spot, on the left of her shoulder, rubbing it good and long, earning some approving sounds for his efforts.

A strange, crying noise was being brought in by the wind and Moire tensed, muscles clenching against his body.  
''What is it sweetheart?'' he mumbled concerned when she started rising to her legs and moved toward the door, the blanket dropping to the straw in her hurry.

''Where are you going,'' he panted as he tried to haul himself upward as quick as possible but his stupid leg slowed him down.

She was much larger than he was and much quicker and she had nudged the stable door-which he had forgotten to lock- open and trotted outside, whinnying loud.

''Moire! Come back here this _instant!''_ Cristiano shouted as if he was disciplining a child instead of a horse, and his objections were met with a long and predictable silence.

He grumbled and walked as fast as his legs could carry him, attempting to keep up with her, but she was so large that it was futile.

The sheathed point of his dagger was stinging against his leg as he ran and it annoyed him, but he tried to ignore it.

Moire halted at the edge of the forest and waited for Cris to have caught up with her.

Then she did something he never expected her to do and knelt down, inviting him to climb onto her back.

Impatiently nudging her head against his back when he saw his hesitation. Cris decided that there would be time to worry about all of this later, he was merely glad that Moire was not attempting to escape the stables.

She was obviously looking for something, for the source of the noises that were echoing out of the forest.

As she rose to her legs again, Cristiano draped his arms around her neck for support, begging to the gods that he wouldn't fall off her back, for he was not used to riding a horse without reins.

If he were to fall off, it would be a very long and painful way down.  
Moire stormed off in a gallop, bravely heading toward the mangled cries that were clenching at Cristiano's heart.

He recognized those screams. It was the sound of a  horse in distress.  
But there were other familiar noises too.

_Wolves..._

An unpleasant shiver went over his spine and he was suddenly grateful that he never went anywhere without his dagger.

At least he had some form of weapon on him.  
Wolves hunted in packs and therefor there would surely be lots of them wherever Moire was taking them.

She halted at the edge of a green hill and stared down at the sight that was being displayed before them, illumined by the moonlight.

A small white horse was being surrounded by seven wolves, who attacked her one by one, taking turns in biting into the poor animal.

Her flanks were draped in blood and she was crying out in agony as she fell to the dirt.

''By the gods Moire, what have you done?'' Cristiano panted, taken aback at the horrible sight before their eyes and the direness of their situation.

He made a silent prayer to Mars, to guide them through the night safely and vowed to offer him three white doves if he let them live. 

The wolves had the advantage now, he knew that much from having owned a wolf himself, so many years ago.

But these wolves were nothing like Cub had been.

They were pure hunters, stone cold killers who wouldn't hesitate to tear their throat's out.  
Who would eat Moire bit by bit, until there was nothing left of her but bones.

Moire turned her neck to the side to stare at Cristiano, who eyed her slowly, investigating her intentions, trying to read her mind.

She seemed to say to him: _trust me with this, I will keep you safe. We must help her._

Her large and impressing posture would certainly help in scaring the wolves off, he reasoned, knowing that wolves were easily intimidated if you played your cards correctly. They were basically large dogs, dangerous sure, but not without fear. 

And the one thing wolves feared even more than anything other threats was fire. They were terrified of it.  
Unfortunately Cris had left his torch behind, back in the stables.

Cursing himself for his stupidity he decided to improvise.

He had been a Centurion for god's sake, surely the military taught him to make do with what little supplies he had to turn a dangerous situation to his advantage.

''Let me down girl, I need to make fire as fast as possible,'' he told her and she knelt down so he could slide off her back. He grabbed the driest branch he could find and tore up a part of his tunic and wrapped it around it.

Quickly knocking two rocks together he got to work, begging to Vesta to grant him with a swift flame.

They had no time to lose. The wolves would pick up on their scent soon. It was inevitable.

The white horse down the hill was neighing again, more desperate this time and Cris wished he had time to cover his ears from her heart wrenching screams.

''Come on,'' he groaned and to his relief, sparks began to appear between the rocks.  
He lit the torch and grabbed it in his left hand, whilst stroking the hilt of the dagger with his right hand.

 _Soon, you will see blood soon,_  he thought.

Moire knelt down for him again, the white of her eyes telling him that she was a bit weary toward the crackling fire in his hand, but she was brave and allowed him to get the fire so close to her fur.

One of the wolves down on the hill started howling at them and Cris knew this was the time to attack them.

Before they would have time to spread out and attack them from all sides.

He needed to keep to pack together. ''Let's go girl,'' he said to Moire and she stormed down the hill in an impressing gallop, dodging tree branches and rocks as carefully as she could, but still Cristiano was hit in the face by the pointy end of a tree branch.

He felt blood roll down his left cheek but ignored it. It was nothing compared to the challenge that laid before them.

When Moire had reached the vale below the hill, the wolves froze at the mere sight of her.

They turned to their alpha couple, two dark grey wolves who were barking at each other, debating their options.

The female alpha bared her teeth at another wolf who obediently ran behind Moire to attack her from the rear, no doubt.

Only they had not counted on Moire's fury, and neither had Cristiano for that matter.

Moire bucked her powerful legs backward, almost throwing Cristiano off her back in his surprise, but he managed to grab ahold of her neck before he fell forward onto the mud.

She kicked the wolf unconscious with one single blow of her broad legs and iron hooves.

As the animal had went down she turned to face it head on and hauled herself upward, stomping the wolf's head in with her heavy body, crushing its skull. Blood was gushing out of the mangled wolf and Cris stared at Moire in awe.

''By the gods, you are more _fearsome_ than I ever would have guessed,'' he murmured impressed and she looked at him with a cold fury in her dark eyes.

The other wolves were clearly taken aback by the brutal death of one of their own, but that did not stop them from attacking again.  
Two of them started circling him and Moire this time, while the alpha couple and the other two returned to their task of killing the other horse.

''Let me down, we will attack them together,'' he told Moire, who seemed to understand him, as usual.

It almost felt like Leo was at his side when he looked at her, it felt like she embodied him somehow.

The thought of riding into battle with Leo was comforting and Cristiano's confidence was rapidly growing by the minute.

They should be all right, he had a weapon, they had fire with them and Moire was a formidable foe, her powerful muscles working to their advantage.

They had to make it out of there alive, for Leo would kill him if he would let anything happen to Moire.

Moire knelt down for the third time and Cristiano slid off her back, releasing his dagger from the sheath, holding it steadily to his side as he pointed the torch toward the wolf that was circling around him.

The second wolf was still baring its teeth to Moire, who whinnied threatening in response. Cris saw no fear in her eyes, only blind rage.  
Only a fool would attack Moire when she was angry like this, he thought, she looked like a proper war horse.

And yet the wolf did attack her, lunging forward at the exact same time as the other one did.

Cris moved in front of her in the blink of an eye, smashing his torch onto the head of one of the wolves who cried in agony and he buried his dagger into the side of the other one.

The animal ignored the dagger-something he had not counted on- and bit his right arm, but before he had time to bite through to the bone and tear his flesh away, Moire had come to his rescue and sank her teeth into the wolf's neck, shaking the beast up and down before she dropped it to the floor.

Cris finished the animal off by slashing the throat, sinking the dagger deep into the grey fur. Hearing the wolf whine and squeak as the blood washed over his hands.

His arm was bleeding but thanks to Moire it was not that bad, he would heal and at least he would not lose his arm.

Two of the other wolves had fled, much to the dismay of the alpha couple, who remained present, not wanting to lose their dinner to a cocky Roman and his even braver horse, so it seemed.

They were a lot larger than the other wolves had been and both of them bared their teeth threateningly as they jumped forward to attack Cris and Moire.

The male alpha had bitten at Moire's neck, burying his paws into the soft fur of her neck as he bit down, blood appearing at the edge of his beak.

 **''NO!!!''** Cris screamed when he heard Moire shouting for his help.

He acted quickly and without realizing what he had done, he threw his dagger into the wolf's back, the animal not going down as fast as he would have hoped though, it remained biting down at Moire's neck, only burying his jaws harder into her, blood dripping down faster now.

Cristiano was a dead man and he knew it.

He had thrown his only weapon away to save her, only leaving the torch in his own hand for protection as the she wolf jumped forward to bite him.

Cris lunged to his side, only barely avoiding her sharp teeth and hit her on the back with the torch. Setting her on fire.

The alpha male heard his female cry out for help and released Moire's neck, giving her just enough time to kick him to the mud with her front legs.

He was unconscious and Cristiano used that advantage to take his dagger out of the animal's back and to slid his throat.

The female was still burning, desperately howling for help and Cristiano decided to put her out of her misery. It was not her fault for showing a wolf's natural behavior, he reasoned.

He walked toward her and threw the dagger into her stomach, silencing her forever.

His attention went to Moire instantly, and he stumbled to her, feeling weak and nauseous when he saw the blood smearing her black fur.

''Oh no, please no. Are you all right girl?'' he hummed as he placed his hands on Moire's shaking head.  
The wounds did not look too deep, but nonetheless she was bleeding pretty badly.

He tore up the remaining pieces of his tunic, leaving only his thin under tunic on, growing colder by the minute now, and pressed the fabric to her neck. She neighed, sounding more scared than angry and he sighed deep.

Blood was still dripping from his arm but he would deal with that later. Moire came first for him, for she had saved his life.  
Her bravery had saved them both.

She stared at his arm and gave him a sharp look, but Cris scoffed. ''I will be fine love, let's take care of you first,''

Moire gave him a face that told him that she thought he was a fool, but she turned around to look at the motionless white horse who was still lying in the mud.

''She won't make it,'' Cris told her, his heart sinking in his sandals when he realized what he had to do to her.

Her guts were dangling out of her stomach and blood was everywhere.

She was barely breathing and Cris knew that he needed to put her out of her misery as quickly as possible.  
He took his dagger, removing it from the burnt wolf, burning his hand in the process and walked toward the poor animal.

Moire followed him close behind, like a silent guardian and halted at the mangled body of the other horse.

Cris stroked the animal's cheek lovingly and took a deep breath. ''Shhh it's all right darling. You are going to sleep now, for you are tired,''

She looked at him with her big, pleading eyes and he had to compose himself against the appearing tears before he placed the dagger at the edge of her throat and brought it all the way back to the other side.

She did not even complain or scream any longer, she simply went silent in his hands and as the blood washed over his hands, her eyelids fell closed.

''Now you are free,'' he said to her, and he stood up and embraced Moire tight, wrapping his arms around her neck, crying like he had when he had sent Cub away, so man years ago.

Her presence calmed him, the warm fur was like a welcome blanket on an icy night. She _soothed_ him, allowed him to cry against her shoulder, helped him to heal.

A strangled squeaking sound came from afar and Cristiano ears perked up, simultaneously with Moire's, both listening intently, worried that the two wolves who had fled may had returned to attack them again.

But this sounded like a call for help from a much smaller animal.

Cris moved toward the sound and Moire hesitantly followed close behind him.

They reached a small stream and near it, was a cave with a little shelter covered in mud, dried orange leaves and moss, with three little wolf cubs inside of it, curled up like tiny balls of fur. 

They were so small that they had not even opened their eyes yet and Cristiano was sure that they were only a few days old.  
''Oh gods, I killed their mother,'' he moaned, cursing himself between his teeth.

Moire snorted at him, sounding scolding and Cris knew that if she could speak, she would tell him that he was being a silly old fool.  
She stared at the cubs, anger still in her eyes and she stomped her hooves, as if she was suggesting to put them out of their misery too.

Cristiano's heart objected instantly. ''No! We are not killing cubs! They are only _babies_ Moire. I raised a little wolf before, and he never hurt a soul. We are _not_ killing them. We have to make amends for killing their parents,'' he snapped.

''They are coming home with us. I have had enough blood on my hands for one night,'' he decided and Moire shot him a protesting look.

Cris crouched down at the little ones and gently picked the little fur balls up and cradled them into his arms.

They were so tiny, so fragile. Their grey fur was softer than anything he had ever felt before and when one of the cubs started yawning at him, Cristiano fell in love.

''Nobody is going to hurt you little ones, I will make sure of it. You are safe now,'' he cooed, as he moved them a little closer to his chest to keep them warm.  
Moire had apparently decided to give up and knelt down to let Cris onto her back again.

He tugged the cubs away in his left arm and slowly positioned himself on her broad back, trying to keep his balance with his right hand.

''Let's go home,'' he told her and Moire reluctantly started walking back to the villa. 

 

 

 

 

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So yeah, I couldn't resist giving Cris and Leo some cubs to smother.  
> Must make for some cute reading and writing I think haha. 
> 
> I hope you guys liked this chapter. Please let me know how you feel. 
> 
> I'm always nervous for every chapter, but I'm always scared when it comes down to action based stuff like the end of this one. 
> 
> I hope it was okay. 
> 
> Moire is a badass btw, she totally surprised me with her anger and fury. I would imagine she would make a terrifying sight. 
> 
> Thanks for reading guys! <3


	13. Home is where the heart is.

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Leo and Isbeil discuss what happened to them while they were apart. 
> 
> Cristiano brings some unwanted guests along to their room.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So this chapter took me three days to write and I'm still not certain that I'm happy with it. 
> 
> So your thoughts on it would be highly appreciated. I'm my own worst critic, I know it, I'm too much of a perfectionist and I sometimes think that I should just stop writing this because I'm not nearly good enough for this story. And I keep feeling like I'm in over my head. 
> 
> Also I want to point out that this won't even be close to canon, not to the book or the movie. I've already altered too much and I will likely change more.

_Leo_.

 

 

 

Leo hadn't felt this good in years. He was practically feeling as giddy and cheerful as a child.

It felt _so_ good to speak to Isbeil once again.

To see her smile, to pull on her braid, to speak in their own language again. The feeling of her warm hands cradling his own.

To hear her comforting voice sing to him like a nightingale, as she held him tight.

It had felt like _heaven_ , to know that he still had one living relative after believing for so many years that he was truly on his own. And Isbeil had always been his most valued sister.

His own blood, the one who had kept him alive, the one who had taken his mother's place in raising him.

She had assured him that most Roman master's had treated her quite well but Leo did not believe her.

He forced her to speak about everything she had endured and after a while he finally got to the truth.

Isbeil had been used as a common whore as much as he had.

The very idea of it turned his blood hot and boiling and he suppressed the thought of asking who her master's had been so he could kill them in their sleep.

And yet,  _'fortunately'_ for her, most of her master's had taken her from behind, ensuring that she would not get pregnant with their children.

Still there was yet something that she was not telling him. Something hidden lingered in the tensed air between them.

''What aren't you telling me?'' he asked her, but she shook her head, denying everything. ''Nothing little man, there is nothing more to tell,''

''Yes there is, only you are being stubborn again, like me,''

''I just...I _can't_ talk about it Leo. I just can't,'' she choked out, tears shimmering in her chestnut eyes.

''You can trust me sister, I have always kept your secrets. I have done so ever since we were little haven't I?'' he said, reminiscing over all the times she had confided in him when they were growing up.

She always told him _everything_ , all the little secrets she hid from their mother she generously shared with him.

Whenever their father had smacked one of their older brothers, she told him.

Just to ensure him that Leo was not the only one suffering from their father's wrath.  
It helped Leo a little, to know all the things that his family would rather not have him know.

Somehow it made him feel a little bit more in control over his own situation.

Knowledge was power, Isbeil always used to tell him.

Isbeil still hesitated and gnawed on his lower lip. ''Yes, I know you are trustworthy, but still-''

''So why won't you trust me now? Have you lost all faith in me?'' he asked, hating how tiny and insecure his voice sounded.

''No little man, that is not it,''

''Then what is it? Please tell me!'' he begged, as he resisted the urge to grab her by her shoulders and shake her until she told him.

His sister exhaled deep and shot him a tight smile.

''Very well, like I could ever deny you anything. Damn you,'' she complained, but her eyes were kind and she blushed deep before she spoke again. ''I fell in love,''

''You did? With whom?'' Leo chirped, barely able to contain his excitement.

''Nobody little man,''  
''That sure is a strange name for a man,'' Leo teased and she smacked him on the back of his shoulders.

''Don't,''

''Tell me something about him, come on. I haven't heard an entertaining story for days!'' he lied, knowing that Cris would surely be offended if he had heard that, seeing how he tried to tell Leo as many interesting stories as he possessed.

''Indeed? Is your _beloved_ master so boring then?'' she chuckled and Leo blushed.

''He is not my 'beloved' master, but yes he is,'' he rasped, clenching his jaw, hating himself a little for telling lies about Cris.

''You still haven't mastered the art of lying very well Leo,'' she chided.  
''Neither have you,'' Leo replied dryly.

''Indeed,''  
''So tell me about him, please...'' he begged, pouting his lip like he used to do whenever she denied him something as a child.

''Fine,'' she sighed, finally giving up, ''his name is Iker,''

''Iker? What sort of a name is that?'' Leo asked, snorting mockingly. The name felt very awkward on his tongue. 

''He is from Hispania,'' she explained.  
''Oh and what does he do? How did you meet him?''

''He works in my master's stables as a horse trainer,''  
''How old is he?'' Leo asked and Isbeil wrinkled her nose at him, clearly confused as to why that matters.

''What difference does that make?''  
Leo shrugged his shoulders and grinned. ''Just curious,''

''He is a bit older than I am, but not that much,''  
''Does he love you as well?''

''Yes, I'm afraid he does,''  
''Why is that a bad thing?'' Leo asked and she gave him a ludicrous gaze.

''Use your brain Leo, we are slaves. We have no _rights_ and no chance to be together, ever. Step out of your silly dream world little man, not all Roman's are as dreamy as your little prince charming,''

''He is not my-'' he protested but she raised her hand to him and silenced him instantly. Old habits died hard.

''Stop _lying_ to me Leo, I know you and I know what is in your heart.  
I can see it, plain as day even if you refuse to admit it.

Despite being separated for years, I still know you better than anyone else in this world. You do _care_ about him and you would never leave him voluntarily, would you?''

Leo shut his eyes and inhaled deep. ''No I wouldn't, I made a vow to serve him and I intend to keep it,''

''Vows to Roman's are not legit to us, you know this. You could break it in a heartbeat if you wanted to. But you do not want to, do you?''

Leo could not believe it.  
His sister was repeating the exact same words as his father had uttered to him in his dreams.

It sent a shiver over his spine as he suppressed the unpleasant thought of his father.

Leo gnawed on his lower lip as he searched for a way out of this corner when the soft knock came at the door.

''Come in,'' Leo yelled relieved, half expecting to see Stephanos appear in the doorway but the opposite was true.

Uncle Aquila was paler than a ghost as he slowly made his way into the chambers and somehow Leo knew instantly that something was horribly wrong.

An iron fist clenched itself around Leo's abdomen as all kinds of horrid scenario's went through his mind.

Something was wrong with Cris, that much he knew, he could feel it in his bones.

Maybe he had gotten himself into trouble at dinner again, or maybe something worse had happened.

''Pardon the intrusion, but I'm afraid I need to borrow your sister for a small favor,'' the old man rasped and Leo's eyes narrowed.

''What for domine?'' he asked boldly, but Isbeil nudged her elbow into his side, looking stern. ''Leo! It is not your place to ask questions,'' she hissed in their own language and the old man smiled sad.

''No it is not, but Leo is allowed to nonetheless,'' he said in Gaelic. Two pair of huge brown eyes were staring at the old man, while their mouths were falling open, disbelief written all over their faces.

''You speak Gaelic?'' Leo gasped and uncle Aquila nodded.  
''Of course, I learned it many years ago,''

''But-why?'' Isbeil couldn't resist to ask and Leo admitted that he too was dying to hear the answer.

''Because I am a firm believer of good integration my dear.  
Moving to another country means that you have to learn the language does it not?

I hired a Briton from another family who taught me to speak it, although I have to say that I am a bit out of practice, but apparently I still understand it quite well,'' he explained as he folded his arms together, a ritual he repeated whenever he was impatient and needed to prove his authority.

''I am very impressed domine,'' Leo said truthfully, blinking twice before he pursed his lips together to prevent his further staring.

''I am pleased to hear it, now my dear, can you please come with me. It is rather urgent,'' the old man conveyed but Leo was not satisfied with letting his sister leave without an explanation and knowing what had happened to Cris.

''What did _he_ do this time?'' he asked and uncle Aquila's stormy blue eyes masked a small grin.

''I'm afraid he got himself into quite a bit of trouble again, and it seems like he is adamant on risking his life on a daily basis. I would almost start to believe that he does not have the desire to live anymore,''

That last sentence frightened Leo so much that it sent a wave of nausea through his system and he drank some water to contain himself.

''Is he all right? What happened?'' he blurted out, feeling all the blood drain from his face.

He felt Isbeil's hawk-like eyes burning into the side of his face, investigating him, reading him and it took all his effort to keep his face as composed as he could.

There was _nothing_ she did not see. Isbeil always knew everything, mostly because she paid such close attention to everything.

She had taught Leo the same skill from a very young age, which was probably why he was so keen on observing everything that happened around him.

''We will bring him in soon, he is with Stephanos now, being treated for his minor injuries,''

''He's injured _again?''_ Leo hissed, wondering who he was going to kill for hurting Cris this time.

''Yes he is, but alas he is not the only victim, which is why I need your sister to help me,''

''Who else is hurt domine?'' Isbeil asked as she placed a soothing hand to Leo's trembling one.

''Your brother's horse, Moire,'' Leo's insides turned to ice, as he felt all the blood drain from his face.

 _''What!''_ he gasped, feeling a panic come over him that threatened to consume him.

''Shhhh little man, calm yourself,'' Isbeil shushed, as her hand grabbed his a little tighter.

''No! I can't. What happened to them? Was he stupid enough to go into her stable without me? Tell me what happened!'' Leo shouted, feeling his self control ebbing away from him.

''They were attacked by wolves,'' the old man said and Leo raised his eyebrows.

His heart was beating so quickly now that he was sure it was going to give out on him. His fear and worry had never been greater.

Moire and Cris meant _everything_ to him and he couldn't bear to lose either one of them.

''Wolves? However did wolves manage to enter the stables?''

''They didn't enter it. Somehow Cristiano and Moire were down in the vale when it happened,'' 

Leo almost fell out of his bed.

None of this made any sense.

What were Cris and Moire doing all the way down in the vale, together? How had he managed to take her along with him?  
She did not even trust him.

It all sounded like a bad joke.

''That does not make much _sense_ domine,'' Leo said and the old man nodded in agreement.

''I realize that, but nevertheless here we are. Could you come with me dear? I assume you are quite skilled with horses too, just like your brother?''

''Well yes domine, although Leo is better with them,'' Isbeil admitted and Leo felt a glimpse of a proud smile appear on his lips, only to feel it die when the seriousness of the situation entered his mind again.

''I am coming with you domine, I need to see to her, and Cris,'' Leo said but his master shook his head simultaneously with Isbeil.

''No Leo, you are _not_ leaving this room,'' Isbeil chided and Leo growled angrily.

''Stop treating me like a child sister,''

Uncle Aquila leaned forward to touch Leo's forehead with his stone cold hands.

The old man's hands were always so cold that Leo often wondered if there was any blood running through his veins at all.

''Your sister is right to worry Leo, your fever remains quite high and you need to stay in bed. Cristiano told me to assure you that he was all right and that he would be joining you soon. He said that it was imminent that you stayed in bed,'' the old man mused and Leo knew that it was an order.

Wrapped up into a nice, colorful package, but an order nonetheless.

That was how the Romans were, the words from their lips were like velvet silk, laced with honey and yet the truth never seemed to reveal itself whenever they uttered a sentence.

''Fine,'' Leo sighed, deciding to know when to pick his battles.

''Follow me, my dear,'' the old man said to his sister and Leo watched her leave with a gut wrenching feeling of guilt.

''Sing her your song!'' he yelled when her sister was almost through the door. She halted and turned on her heels, eyeing him curiously.

''My song?''

''Your lullaby, I've been using it as a measure to calm her down. She knows the song and will respond to it if you use it. It will help you to take care of her. And touch her on the left of her shoulder, she likes to be rubbed there, preferably in circles with your knuckles. And make sure-''

Isbeil raised her hand at him interrupted him with a grin. ''By all the gods Leo, you sound like a fretting mother who worries over her child,''

''-to feed her some carrots, she loves those. You can find some in the gardens to the east of the house,'' Leo continued as if she had never interrupted him.

''Very well little man, anything else?'' she snorted, attempting to suppress another smirk but failing miserably.

''Yes, make sure she gets her blanket for the night, she gets cold easily,'' Leo ordered and to his amazement he saw his sister nod obedient.

''All right, I will do all those things. Nothing I wouldn't do for my little brother,'' she smirked.  
''Be careful with her, she is huge and when she is hurt I can imagine she is even more dangerous,''

''She won't hurt me Leo, you're not the only one who is great with horses,'' Isbeil reminded him and Leo felt a little more reassured.

She was right of course. He could still remember seeing her riding off on her giant, dark brown stallion called Kade.

Kade had been difficult to handle and only Isbeil could ride him.

He was a horse that had suffered a lot and Leo's family members often called him the sad one. And he truly was, his eyes were dark and dreary and Leo could have sworn that he saw tears in them sometimes.

Moire sometimes reminded Leo of poor old Kade.

Leo wished that he could have gone with Isbeil, to take care of Cris and Moire, but thanks to his blasted illness he could not even tend to himself, let alone getting up and walking through the estate.

His sister nodded assuringly to him and turned around and glided out of the chambers.

Somehow she had managed to retain her gracefulness during the long years of slavery.

The door shut behind his sister and the old man and Leo was once again, left alone with his concerned thoughts.

He sat up and shoved his pillow behind his back, gnawing on his lips so hard that he drew his own blood, tasting the familiar copper on his tongue.

After what seemed like a century, raised voices came from behind the door and Leo immediately recognized Cristiano's strained voice, the other one he heard was clearly Stephanos, trying to reason with him to slow down, apparently.

It sent a wave of relief through Leo's heart to know that Cris was all right and that he could still walk properly.

And yet he was _so_ _angry_ with him, for throwing his life away so recklessly.

How could Cris have been so stupid to go down into the vale with Moire?

They could have both been killed before morning came, leaving Leo alone in this cruel world.

But they had not died, somehow -Cristiano would surely grant their lives to the mercy of his gods but Leo preferred the idea of random luck- they had survived the night.

The doors flew open and Cris entered their chambers, walking swiftly toward him with a bundle of dark woolen fabric cradled in his arms.

A white bandage was draped around his forearm and he had a scrape across his cheek, but that seemed to be his only injuries.

He placed the bundle onto the wooden table, unbuckled his belt, leaving the sheathed dagger behind on the floor with a loud clang, and walked toward the bed, slightly limping like usual.

 _''Leo,''_ he choked out, guilt displayed in his eyes as he slowly lowered himself onto the bed, inches away from Leo's shivering body.

Leo was suddenly very unsure about how he felt toward Cris.

His head seemed to be exploding from the sensation of feeling too many emotions at once.

Sheer relief, pure anger, concern and the desire to slap Cris across his face for his stupidity all entered his mind, and evaporated as quickly as they had appeared when Cristiano's eyes broke and his shoulders slumped down defeated.

Tears were streaming down his porcelain cheeks and he suppressed a muffled groan.

Leo couldn't help it.

Seeing Cris like this stirred something quite strange in his chest and he felt his anger leaving him as he stretched his hand out to place it on Cristiano's larger one.

Cris' hand was freezing, similar to his uncle's hand a few moments before but Leo felt a sudden need of protectiveness toward Cris and clenched his other hand on the palm of Cristiano's, rubbing his hands together to warm his friend.

''What happened?'' he asked tentative, his voice merely more than a whisper.

Cristiano's hand stilled under the pressure of Leo's and he swallowed hard.

''I'm so sorry, it was all my fault!'' Cris choked out, a lonely tear rolling down his left cheek.

Leo released one of his hands and carelessly wiped it away, not even thinking about the intimacy of the gesture.

When Cristiano looked as vulnerable and shattered like he did now, Leo felt the strong need to take care of him. To ensure that he was not blaming himself for whatever had happened and that he was taken care of.

Was this was Isbeil had felt, whenever she took care of him, he wondered. Maybe he finally realized now what it was like to actually _want_ to take care of someone, to desire to see them happy and comforted.

And so he spoke. ''No Cris, it was not your fault,''

Cris stared at him, eyes wide. ''Yes it was, I neglected to lock the stable door properly so she walked right out of it,''

''It doesn't matter, all that matters to me is that _both_ of you are safe,'' Leo assured him but Cris raised his eyebrows.  
''Both of us?''

Leo felt a furious heat rising to his cheeks and he barked out: ''Yes _both_ of you! Did you really think that I only cared about _her_ safety? How dumb can you be Cris!''

''Pretty stupid I guess,'' Cris blushed, obviously feeling very silly at the moment and Leo sighed again.

Cristiano looked even more defeated and fragile than he had before and Leo found himself leaning in, crossing the distance between them before he knew it.

The sudden desire to soothe his friend overwhelmed him, probably due to the terrifying fact that he had nearly lost him that night.

He moved even closer to Cristiano and wrapped his arms around his waist at the exact same time that Cristiano lunged forward to cradle Leo's face against his broad chest, nearly suffocating him with the strong arms around his back.

Leo held back a sob as he felt a strange need to cry all of the sudden and he chewed on his lower lip, holding back all the things he wanted to say to Cris.

How concerned he had been when he had heard the news, how his throat had constricted at the thought of him dying, leaving him alone.

But instead he said nothing. He couldn't say anything.

All the words seemed to have abandoned him.

Further more, now that he was lying there in Cristiano's arms, words seemed rather irrelevant.

''Don't scare me like that again,'' Leo warned, lips moving against Cris' white tunic.

''I won't,'' Cris assured him, and he ruffled his hand through Leo's sloppy hair.

''I can't-'' Leo started, but the words died on his lips. His stomach was constricting and he swallowed his words.

They were unwise and unnecessary to utter.

''Can't what?'' Cris asked, sounding gentle, as he raised Leo's chin with his hand, forcing their eyes to meet, not releasing Leo's cheek with the warm soft fingers.

His thumb stroked over Leo's skin so tentatively, so soft that Leo resisted the urge to shut his eyes.

His restless mind went blissfully blank at the touch, like an assuring warm blanket after a storm and Leo found himself at a loss for words.

 _'I can't lose you,'_ Leo wanted to say, but what good would that do either one of them? Caring about anyone was dangerous.

Especially caring about a Roman when you were not one was considered stupid and needless.

Besides, Cristiano wouldn't believe Leo if he said something like this anyway, so he decided to swallow his words and told himself he would never say them out loud.  
Nothing good would come of it.

'Your love for that Roman is going to ruin you,' his father's words echoed in his head, tormenting him, even now that he was wide awake.

Leo gazed into Cristiano's eyes, his poor heart fluttering in his chest at a speed that was likely going to kill him. He couldn't tell him.  
He shouldn't admit to it.

For the problem was that his father had been right. About everything.

Leo had felt Cristiano's eyes on him, and a part of him realized exactly how much Cristiano wanted him, how desperately he needed him.

Maybe even _loved_ him.

Leo had also realized after his dream that a part of him loved Cristiano as well.

But maybe he had known that long before the ghosts of his past had revealed it to him.

The problem however remained the same: Leo was a Briton, and Cristiano was still a Roman. Nothing could ever change that.  

Besides, Cristiano intended to release Leo after he had been healed.

Leo could finally go home, to start a new life, north of the wall after being a slave for countless years.

A huge part of him longed to be back into the wildness of the north, but now thanks to Cristiano another part of him severely dreaded leaving him behind.

He couldn't let himself grow too attached to Cristiano, he reasoned with himself. And yet he knew that he had already done so.  
Why fight it when he had already lost?

No, he would not admit defeat just yet. He couldn't. He had to be strong.  
Leo was still his father's son after all.

Brigantes were strong and unyielding and therefor he would not bow to anyone.

Not even to someone he cared for.

''Leo?'' Cristiano whispered, interrupting his relentless moldings and Leo looked up into those compassionate brown eyes and sighed.

''I'm sorry Cris, I can't tell you what I want to say,'' he mumbled.

''Why not?'' Cristiano asked, obviously resolute in his desire to reach the truth of his feelings.

''Because I'm afraid that it will cost me too much,'' Leo replied honestly, averting his eyes and reluctantly backing away from Cristiano's arms, already missing the pressure and security of them when he did.

''The truth is free Leo, it does not cost us anything,'' Cris mused and Leo knew it was meant as a mild joke.

''Sometimes it does. But please tell me what happened? And what is in the bundle on the table? It seems to be moving,'' Leo pointed out, noticing that the fabric was indeed moving around slowly, as if there was something buried inside of it.

''Oh right. I brought you something,'' Cristiano perked up and walked to the table, carefully placing the bundle in his arms and halting at the table for a while, clearly hesitating what to do next.

So he sat down on the sofa near the bed and started explaining everything that had happened.

''Well after I left our room, I decided that I was in no mood to go to dinner so I went to see Moire at the stables. She was lying on the straw and seemed to be cold so I covered her with a blanket and somehow she let me sit with her. It was really nice, for a while.  
Then she heard another horse crying out for help from down the vale and she got up, pushing herself out of the stables, because I-''

''Had forgotten to lock it,'' Leo interjected and Cris nodded.

''Yes, and I followed her to the edge of the forest where she halted and let me climb on top of her back,''

''She didn't?!'' Leo exclaimed, feeling stunned.

''She did, I was amazed too, honestly. So she took me down the hill and we heard wolves howling.

They were attacking a small white horse, biting into her ferociously.  
Moire clearly wanted to help her, for whatever reasons she had and so we did.

We killed most of them but one bit her neck and another latched itself onto my arm. You should have seen her Leo, she was amazing. She kicked one of the wolves head in with her hooves, killing it with a single blow. She was fearless.

She saved us really, I owe her my life. 

When the battle was over and the poor horse died despite our attempts to save her we heard a crying sound from near the river. And that is where I found them,'' he concluded, rising from his sofa and sitting back down in front of Leo's body, placing the bundle into his arms.

Three tiny wolf cubs were stirring against one another, yawning deep and making squeaking noises.

''Gods Cris, what did you do? These aren't pets!'' Leo hissed and Cris rolled his eyes at him, snorting soft.

''You sound just like my uncle, besides: I thought you didn't _believe_ in any gods?'' he teased but Leo exhaled deep, giving him an irritated look.

''You know I don't, but still. What came over you to bring them in?''

Cris raised himself to his full length, growing defiant now. ''Well why not? I did kill their _mother_ after all. They are only babies Leo, and I raised Cub right didn't I? I had him since he was a cup and he grew up fine. We can take care of them,''

''How?''  
''We will feed them milk from the cows,''

''But once they grow up, they will be dangerous to the rest of the household Cris,''  
''Why would they be?''

''Because they are pack animals, when you had Cub he was merely one wolf. Now you have three. And you told me Cub bit your mother, that was why you had to send him away,''

''I will not _kill_ them Leo, or dispose myself of them. They are ours to take care of now,''  
''I don't want them,'' Leo replied harshly, still not looking at the cubs, preventing that he would start to feel sorry for them.

''Why not?''  
''I just don't,'' Leo argued weakly.

What he did not say was that he feared that the cubs would tie him even closer to Cris, thus making it impossible to ever tear himself away from him whenever Cris set him free.

''That is hardly an argument,'' Cris noted dryly and Leo nodded  
''No it is not,''

''Look at them,'' Cristiano ordered but Leo shook his head.

''I will not,'' he rasped stubbornly but Cris had a mind of his own and reached down into the pack and scooped one of the cubs, the smallest one, out of it and placed it into Leo's hands.

It could fit like a little fur ball into his hand and the grey hairs were smoother than silk.

''They are merely _orphans_ Leo, thanks to me. They have no family left, you of all people should know how that feels like, as well as I do. They are our responsibility now and I want to take care of them.

To feel useful, to have a goal again.

I have _nothing_ left, they took my military title away, my purpose, and my men. I will never be a soldier again, and I might never walk properly due to my leg. I am a man without honor, a cursed son of the Centurion who lost the eagle. 

Don't you understand? I have not much left that gives me a content feeling, that makes me feel useful. Taking care of these cubs will give me another _purpose_ , will give me something to do.

I want them, because they are outcasts like you and me. They have no one, they belong to no one.  
They are all alone in this world. I'm sure you can recall what that feels like,'' Cristiano said, a sad look lingering on his face and Leo already complied to it in his mind.

The cub in his hand opened its yellow eyes and stared at him, yawning loud, baring its tiny teeth. Leo sighed and decided to give in, stroking its head with his fingers.

''Very well, we will keep them, he looks very obedient,'' he noted to the cub in his hands but Cristiano smirked.

''That one is a girl, the other two are boys. I checked. The smallest one is a little lady,''

''Is she now?'' Leo mused as he inspected the cub in his hand, noticing that Cris had been right.  
''What will you call her?'' Cris asked. 

''Does she need a name right away?'' Leo grunted, annoyed by Cris' impatience.   
''I guess not, I was merely curious,''

''Do you have names for the other two then?''  
''Not yet,'' Cris admitted as he placed the remaining cubs into Leo's arms when the little lady started calling out to her brothers, crying soft.

Leo stared at the three cubs who were curled up together, arms and legs tangled into each other's fur and snoozing content.  
He fell in love with them in a heartbeat once he had really looked at them.

They were helpless, they had no mother, no father.

They would keep them safe.

Cristiano scooted onto the bed besides Leo and wrapped his arm around him, using the other one to stroke the cub's little bodies.

Leo felt his head moving back against the irresistible warmth of Cris' shoulder and felt the tenderness of the older man's fingers caressing his clavicle.

Leo's head was snuggled in against Cristiano's jawline and after a long, comfortable silence, Cristiano turned his face toward him and the feeling of surprisingly soft lips ghosted over his forehead, making Leo tremble.

It didn't last very long, or maybe it did, but Leo noticed that Cris' lips were slightly shaking against his skin as well.

It made him feel so many things that Leo started to wonder if he was not still dreaming.

As Cristiano tore his lips away from his temple, Leo felt his face moving closer into the security of Cristiano's shoulder. The intimacy of it was nearly too much.

As he sat there in Cristiano's arms, holding the cubs in his own arms a wave of strained emotion engulfed over him.

It was so intense that Leo swore he could cry if it lingered on any longer.

Slowly it took his breath away when realization hit him, and hit him hard.

_This was the closest to home he had ever felt._

 

 

 

 

 

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Let me know what you think please. Your opinion matters to me, specially about chapters that make me insecure. 
> 
> I'm sorry for the super slow burn btw, I always kind of dread stories with too much of a slow burn between characters, but I feel like I shouldn't rush it too much, specially not with Leo. 
> 
> At least he has finally fully realized that he does love Cris in this chapter. And yet he still holds back. Hopefully the cubs can change that a little. 
> 
> Many thanks to everyone who reads this, replies and leaves me kudos! I really appreciate it! <3


	14. I am not afraid, for you are with me.

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Cristiano and Leo decide that it is time to name their cubs. 
> 
> Also other stuff happens.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I'm so sorry for taking so long to update guys. I wanted to write more this weekend but my head was not into it and I have re-written this chapter about four times. 
> 
> I have thrown it away four times because it sucked. But this current draft is something I'm content with. 
> 
> I hope you are too. 
> 
> *warning: tooth rotting fluff in this one*
> 
> This is pretty much a filler. But I kinda like it.  
> As long as the cubs are in it, I'm happy. They are my babies.

_Cristiano._

 

 

 

''The gods are very _angry_ , little ones,'' Cristiano mused as he cradled the terrified cubs a bit tighter against his broad chest and snuggled himself closer against his pillows.

Leo rolled his eyes at him and moved to his side, folding his arm under his head. ''You always say that whenever there is a storm outside. This is no sign of any _god_ Cris, it is merely the sign of a normal _autumn_ storm in Britain,''

Bolts of lightning illumined their chambers and a loud thunderous bang followed quickly in pursuit, so hard that the ground was trembling as much as the cubs afterward.

Heavy rain was bursting down on their windows and the wind was howling louder than ever.

Tree branches were flying like a swirling tornado through the garden, smashing into the villa. 

Leo had lit four white candles which were slowly burning on the table and the fire was crackling in the hearth. And yet the air seemed to be ice cold inside the chamber.

A persistent terrified shiver crept over Cris' spine, and he moved the cubs even closer to himself, for his comfort as much as theirs. 

The cubs whined and cried in his arms and Leo moved closer to Cris to stroke them onto their soft, gray backs.

''Shhhh it's all right, don't let him scare you with stories of _his_ gods little ones,'' Leo hushed, sarcasm dripping off his voice but Cristiano was in no mood to be mocked.

He was practically as scared as the cubs and being berated for it made him feel highly on edge and irritated.

He had always _hated_ thunderstorms, even as a small child. The sheer ferocity and destruction of them terrified him to his core.

''Will you stop that! Even if you no longer have faith in the gods, doesn't mean they are not real!''

''So you keep telling me, and yet you have no actual _proof_ of their existence, whatsoever,'' Leo pointed out.

He cracked a cheeky smile at Cris and whistled soft attracting the attention of the cubs, who turned their heads toward him simultaneously.

Leo stretched his hand out to the smallest cub, the female, who climbed onto her paws and waddled into his arms.

Leo held her close to his chest, smiling soft when she balled up in his arms and yawned lovingly at him.

The little lady had a soft spot for Leo, and had spent the night in his arms ever since the third day after Cristiano had brought them home with him, which was now eight nights ago.

Her brothers liked to sleep curled up against Cristiano's chest, warm and peaceful.

It had taken them about three nights to figure that out though, for the first few nights had been absolute, sleepless torture.

The first night none of them had slept at all, not Leo, nor Cris, nor the cubs.

The little ones had kept them awake all night, screaming for their mother, begging for the familiar faces of their pack.

Stephanos had gotten them some cow milk in a saucer and Leo had fed them a little bit off his fingers but they had not eaten much and progress was slow and exhausting.

Isbeil had left with her master Lucius a little while after that, and had ensured them that Moire would be all right.

She had patched her up the best she could and now they could only wait to see if she would recover.

But Isbeil was very hopeful that she would, she had even offered to visit them in a week or so with Iker, to make certain that Moire was all right.

Iker was a horse master after all, and uncle Aquila had gladly given his permission.

Lucius had ensured Leo that Isbeil would be allowed to visit them again regularly and that thought comforted Leo.

But when he said goodbye to his sister, his eyes were gleaming with held back tears, despite the fact that he would see her again in a week's time.

Isbeil had kissed the top of her little brother's head and held him tight, whispering words of encouragement in his ear that Cris could not understand.

After they had left Leo had slipped back onto the bed and cried until his pillow was drenched with his tears.

Cris had placed his hand onto his back for support, but didn't dare to take Leo into another embrace, despite the fact that he was _craving_ to hold him, to be near to him.

To inhale his musky scent and to run his hands through Leo's soft hair. To be able to stroke his rosy, porcelain cheeks again.

He hated seeing Leo this upset, somehow it always broke something inside of him when he had to watch him endure so much pain and sadness.

When Leo's eyes had dried, he had turned around, leaving his back to Cris, covered himself with the blanket and shut his eyes, attempting to sleep.

Cris knew that he was feeling embarrassed for showing his weakness and that he needed to leave him alone for now.

Leo needed to be on his own with his shame, his endless pride demanded that of him.  

Cristiano had decided not to make any attempts to urge Leo to move back to his own cot, for a huge part of him felt incredibly happy that Leo apparently wanted to stay so close to him that night.

He also had not forgotten the embrace Leo had given him a few hours ago.

When they had sat there together, the tiny cubs in their arms, Leo's head against his chest and a comfortable silence lingering between the two of them.

Cristiano's lips had somehow made their way to Leo's forehead and had lingered there a lot longer than he had intended to.

It had felt so good to have Leo in his arms like that, to know that Leo needed his comfort as much as Cris needed his.

It was also assuring to know that Leo cared about what happened to Cris, for he had not forgotten the concerned looks in his eyes when he had returned from his horrible endeavor with the wolves.

Leo had been terribly concerned over him, the sheer panic in his eyes had been obvious. Leo _truly_ cared about him.  
Cristiano almost felt beyond himself with joy when he had discovered that fact.

Maybe, just maybe, his inappropriate feelings toward Leo would not be completely in vain.

After they had put the cubs to bed that first night, the little ones started squirming and crying.

Leo started singing to them, trying to calm them and Cristiano had attempted to walk around in the chambers, gently rocking them up and down in his arms, hoping that they would finally fall asleep, but alas they had no such luck.

''Gods it is like having a set of babies,'' Cristiano had complained when dawn came and they still had not gotten a minute of much needed sleep.

''Aren't you glad you took them home with you now?'' Leo had teased and Cris had shrugged his shoulders at his best friend.

''I do not regret it,'' he said stubbornly and Leo snorted.  
''Not yet,'' he retorted dryly.

At the second day the cubs had opened their eyes, revealing two sets of yellow eyes and one pair of blue ones, the little lady's.

The fifth day they started rising to their tiny paws and attempted to stand up, clumsily trembling and falling down onto the blanket as they went, earning laughter and giggles from Cristiano and Leo.

The largest male was the first one who managed to stay on his paws and to actually walk without falling, on the sixth day, shortly followed by the other two.

They still had not thought of any names for them, although Cristiano kept asking Leo if he had any ideas yet.

Leo suggested that they should wait with naming them until their characters started to shine through.

But to Cristiano that had already happened.

The three of them were very different and quite easy to differentiate.

The little lady was the quietest one of the three, small, friendly and blue eyed with a dark stripe across her gray back. She yawned a lot and loved to suckle on Leo's fingers for hours at a time after her meals before she fell asleep in his arms.

The largest male was very temperamental, always hissing at his little brother when he got fed before him, never giving him an inch of space. He was a greedy eater and did not like to share Cristiano with his brother.

The smaller cub was more like his sister.

He had clear yellow eyes and a thoughtful and interested look on his face.

Where his brother was more direct and determined, this one seemed to reminisce over every step he took.

He often stood up for his sister when the largest cub forced her out of the way so that he could eat her meal.

The little cub would bark at him and bare his tiny teeth at his brother, often leading to a lot of anger between the males, which forced Cristiano to separate them for their own safety.

Now that the cubs could walk, they started discovering their little world inside of the chambers, behaving like a true pack.

The largest male always went first, never afraid of anything, followed by his little brother, who watched everything carefully and made sure that their sister was being included in their little adventures as much as he could.

He constantly turned his head back to her, to make sure that she was all right.

The biggest one loved adventure, he was always the first one who would jump onto Cristiano's hand when he buried it under the blanket and tipped his fingers to the top of the covers, bobbing it up and down to attract their attention.

The bold cub would jump onto his finger and bite down on the cover, his teeth never strong enough to rip through the blanket, luckily.

After he went first, the other two would join in the little game and latch themselves onto Cris' hand, snarling as they bit down.

Cris couldn't even count the amount of times that he played that game with Cub when he was raising him.

It seemed like a lifetime ago now and raising the cubs was bringing back some beautiful memories, along with a lot of sad ones to his beloved Cub, who was now lost forever.

Uncle Aquila had been less than pleased with the arrival of the cubs and he preferred to keep his fair distance from them, constantly complaining to Cris if he realized what he was getting into his house.

Saying that they would not be little forever and that he had no desire to walk around in his hallways, surrounded by wolves, by wild animals who could kill him whenever they went a day without their supper.

Cristiano knew that his uncle was right, clearly, but he tried to assure him that he would raise them right and that they would never harm him.  
Somehow his uncle did not seemed to believe his words though.

Cristiano's arm had healed quite nicely within a few days, for the bite was not that deep and even his leg was moving more fluently every day. He was certain that he would be fully healed from his limp in a few months time.

Or so he _hoped_.

There was still a small nagging fear in the back of his mind that he would never fully lose the limp, but he tried to push that negative thought away.

A positive mind was the key to a full recovery, his mother had always said when he was sick as a child. Cristiano needed to believe that was true.  
For the alternative was too much for him to bear.

He refused to be a pitiful cripple for the rest of his life.

Cristiano visited Moire frequently after the night they were attacked and on the second day he took Leo and the cubs with him to the stables. Leo had finally recovered from his fever and refused to stay in bed any longer.

They placed the cubs into the bundle of soft wool and carried them with them into Moire's stable, letting her sniff them thoroughly.

Moire still did not seem to trust the cubs at all, but at least she did not attempt to bite them, or showed them any form of hostility.

The brave horse had recovered from the wounds in her neck within four days and Leo spend a lot of time in her stable, just singing to her or leaning against her side when she was laying down in the straw.

Cristiano liked to spend time with Moire as well now.

After everything that had happened to them, Moire seemed to trust him completely and she often placed her large head against his shoulder, begging for him to caress her.

She even let him ride her again, six days after they had been attacked. Cristiano loved the feeling of freedom it gave him, to feel her gallop proudly through the meadow with the wind in his hair.

It was the ultimate feeling of pure independence.

Leo rode her as well and he was a far more skilled and graceful rider than Cristiano would ever be.

He moved with such effortless and skill that Cristiano knew he could never live up to, and he looked natural on top of her giant black body. As if he belonged there.

When they moved together it was a sight so beautiful that Cristiano felt tears prickle at his eyes every time they rode together.  
Leo rode her without saddle and reigns, for he had no use for them.

He did not want to restrain Moire. Nor did he _have_ to.

Leo shared a soul with that animal, Cristiano was certain of it.

Much to Cristiano's delight, Leo had slept in his bed with him ever since that night he brought the cubs home.

Leo said nothing about it, naturally, but Cristiano considered it another victory, despite the fact that his mind kept telling him that Leo only did it to calm the cubs and to soothe them with his presence.

Some nights when he woke up, he caught Leo with the cubs in his arms, singing Isbeil's lullaby to them with the brightest smile on his face. At moments like that Cris only fell more in love with Leo.

There was something so powerful and endearing about those moments when he saw Leo's vulnerability shine through his eyes.

Leo was so much more beautiful when he let his guard down.

Cristiano could spend hours secretly staring at Leo, who was simply kissing the cubs soft fur, dancing his fingers over their little bodies, holding them close, pressing his nose against their tiny wet ones.

Despite his complaints and hesitation about the cubs at first, Cristiano knew that Leo was growing more and more attached to them every day.

He just did his best to hide how he truly felt about them, like he did with every feeling he possessed. That wall somehow seldom went down.  
But whenever it did, it was really worth it.

''So any ideas on names yet?'' Cristiano asked Leo, who veered up from his pillow, turning slightly toward Cris with his wolf in his hands.

''Why don't _you_ think of names? Why do I have to come up with them,'' he complained as the female wolf licked his fingers, gently biting down on his thumb.

''Because I am very _unoriginal_ with names, as you often like to remind me,'' Cris retorted, pointing out the numerous times when Leo had called him boring for naming Cub, _Cub_.

''All right, you have a point. But I have a few names in my head that I like, however they are all Gaelic, not Roman,''

''I already told you that I don't mind that. They belong to this _land_ after all, and are therefore Gaelic, not Roman,''

''Yes but still...'' Leo hesitated and gnawed on his lower lip.

''Just tell me what you have thought of and I'll say if I agree on them or not. Besides: the cubs are old enough to have names, for it is easy to tell who is who now,'' Cris mumbled.

The male cubs were squirming around in his arms, the largest one biting the smaller one's ear playfully.

''Be gentle now, you big brute,'' Cristiano teased and he shoved the largest cub away from his brother, earning himself a harsh glance from those dark yellow eyes.

Leo hesitated visibly before he replied. ''Well for him I have a few names in mind. The first is Bran, after my eldest brother, for he is reminding me of my brother every day he is growing older.

My brother Bran was proud, strong and a true leader. He had a fierce temper, but was also able to be kind. The name means _Raven_ in Gaelic. I don't know but somehow it just suits him, I guess, but if you do not like it then-''

Cristiano raised his hand to silence Leo and smirked, stroking the cub's side, earning another bark and a bite in return. ''It's perfect for him,''

Leo's eyebrows went up in amazement and he blushed. ''Really?''

''Yes, look at him. He is a little leader already and I really like the name Bran. It is short but strong, like he is,''

''Well he will not be short forever, he is not me,'' Leo grinned and Cristiano laughed heartedly.

''Indeed, but size does not mean _everything_ Leo, you might be small but you are as strong as I am, maybe even stronger,''

That comment earned him another deep blush from Leo, who quickly decided to sidestep the comment and to move on to the second name.

''And for this little man, I have a nice name in mind,'' he chirped, his voice a tad higher and more forced than normal.

''I'm hanging onto your every word,'' Cris teased, folding his hands around Bran's little brother, forcing the soft chin upward.

Bran meanwhile had made his way to the edge of the bed, always looking for more adventures, more things to discover.

Cristiano was forced to stop him as he reached the edge for he definitely would have tumbled off it if he let him have his way.

''For this one I had the name of one of my other brother's in mind, the one who had lost his leg. Do you remember when I told you about him?'' Leo asked and Cristiano nodded solemnly.

He definitely remembered that story, it was the first time when he had not felt sorry for himself after his injury. Leo had humbled him with the tale of his brother's bravery.

''Of course, my memory is pretty solid Leo,''

''Well my brother was a very brave man, but just like this little man right here, he was also very kind and observing. He was brave, gentle and a true survivor. He always took care of my sister's whenever they needed something. His name was Conor,''

Cristiano stared at Leo in amazement. ''What is it?'' Leo asked when he saw his shocked face.

''Nothing, just- well when I first arrived in Britain, the man who helped me cross a river was called Conor,''

''Really? Well it is a common Gaelic name,''  
''I suppose,''

''Do you like it?'' Leo asked cautiously and Cristiano pulled the cub close and pressed a kiss to his gray head.

''I love it, that should be his name. After your heroic brother,''

Leo averted his eyes at that comment, as Cristiano had predicted he would do, for tears were appearing in the gorgeous brown gems.

The stubborn Briton sniffed deep and exhaled loud, before he composed himself and the hardness returned to his face.

''Why do you always do that?'' Cris asked and Leo raised an eyebrow.  
''Do what?''

''Don't play stupid with me. Why must you _always_ hold your grieve inside. You are allowed to feel pain in front of me Leo, you should know that by now. I won't judge you for it,''

''I know, I just-don't want to seem weak I suppose,'' Leo admitted.  
''Do not be silly Leo, you are the strongest man I know,''

Leo's eyes softened a bit but he shrugged nonetheless. ''You are merely saying that to make me feel better,''

Cristiano resisted the urge to grab Leo by his collar and to ruffle him around until he would believe the truth, but that would only set their relationship back and that was the last thing he wanted.

''I am not, please do not accuse me of lying to you,''  
''I didn't mean to-''

''Just tell me the name of your beloved baby girl,'' Cristiano snapped, desperate to change the subject, for their current one was getting on his nerves.  
''Cris...''

''Don't, just tell me what name you have thought of for her,''

''Well when I was growing up I had a horse, she was gray and gentle, very much like this little girl. I called her Maeve,'' he said and he pressed the wolf against his cheek, giving the crown of her head a soft peck.

''It's a great name for her, I like it,''  
''Really?'' Leo asked, sounding so surprised that all his ideas were received so well.

''Yes, really. It suits her,''

Bran and Conor were tangled up into another little brawl and Cris snapped his fingers to silence them.

A command he had been practicing for a few days now. Whenever they misbehaved, he would snap his fingers to reprimand them.

Somehow it worked, maybe Bran and Conor did not like the sound of it, or maybe it was something else entirely, but for whatever reason, the cubs instantly behaved afterward.

Bran snarled at Cristiano's hand and leaned forward to bite it but Cris pulled it back and gave Bran a small tab on the back of his head.

 _''Behave Bran!''_ he hissed and the cub barked defiantly at him but obeyed nonetheless and left his brother alone.

Cristiano didn't like to be hard on them, but experience with Cub had taught him that he needed to be, even at this young age.

''Good boy,'' Cristiano sighed and Conor climbed onto his lap, licking his finger, as to assure him that he was grateful for stepping in and taking care of him.

''Yes, you are a good boy as well,'' Cris praised and he stroked Conor's silky fur.

Maeve climbed out of Leo's arms and joined Conor on Cristiano's lap, placing her tiny head on her brother's back.  
Bran was staring at his siblings from the other side of the bed, barking softly at them, ready for more adventures.

When they did not react to his cries, he turned toward them and strolled back to Cristiano's lap, jumping onto his lap via his forearms.

Bran joined his siblings and nestled himself in front of Maeve, licking her fur slightly before he placed his head on her waist.

For the first time in days, all three of them fell asleep in each other's arms.  
Suddenly, Leo moved closer to Cris and aligned his pillow with Cris'.

He extended his hand to the cubs and started caressing them slowly. ''You love them,'' Cristiano mused causing Leo to smile deeper and more content than ever before.

Leo was so utterly beautiful when he smiled. It made Cristiano's heart melt in his chest.

''I do,''

 Leo's hand found Cris' and he clasped onto it tightly.

Cristiano tried to hide his surprise but when Leo's head dropped onto his shoulder his jaw dropped with it.

Leo was clearly in a very cuddly mood, not something that Cristiano was used to but he certainly was not complaining.

He folded his arm around Leo's shoulder and tugged him a little closer so that Leo could snuggle himself even closer into his chest.

Leo's arm was draped around Cris' waist and his eyes started closing after a few minutes.

Cristiano felt a deep sleep take over and he shut his eyes, still feeling the warmth of Leo's body radiating next to his own.  
The love of the cubs was warming his soul.

He fell asleep in seconds, content and happy as a child.

This must be what home feels like, he thought.

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I have struggled with the names for soooo long. I had so many options and none of them were right. These three names are precious to me because they come from other books as well. 
> 
> And I think it fits them. I don't like names that are too long for animals. 
> 
> Let me know what you think of this. <3
> 
> To avoid confusion: this Bran is not based on the sweet Bran from Game of Thrones.  
> This one is based on the Bran from Juliet Marilliers books from the seven waters trilogy. Bran features in the second book: son of the shadows.  
> He is a mercenary, but he has a great heart. I thought it fit the eldest cub for he will be the most ferocious, but also with a friendly side.


	15. I will follow you into the dark.

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Iker and Isbeil visit the villa. Leo and Cris decide what they will do about the lost eagle. 
> 
> Plans are being made, and the cubs are showing their distinct personalities.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So I've written parts of this chapter during different days of the week and I was not quite sure where I was going with this chapter. I'm still not. 
> 
> But I think it's all right now. A little more dialogue in this one. 
> 
> And Leo keeps thinking about his family, so I decided to give his brothers a bit more backstory. Mostly because the cubs are named after them.  
> I hope you guys like it! 
> 
> I'm also including more and more Keltic gods and names.

_Leo_.

 

 

 

''You must be Iker,'' Leo said as he extended his hand to Isbeil's lover to greet him.

''Yes I am, it is so good to meet you Leo. Isbeil speaks about you _all_ the time,'' Iker replied, clasping onto his hand with a firm, calloused grip.

Iker was relatively small but sturdy, with short chestnut hair and similar eyes that were kind and warm.

Isbeil was standing behind him, wearing her usual brown tunic and breeches and she was smiling happily at the sight of her brother shaking hands with the man she loved.

It had taken Iker and Isbeil almost four weeks to _finally_ visit them, for their master had been traveling to his relatives in the south and they had been forced to join him.

Leo had been sick with worry when Isbeil did not turn up at the villa after a week like she had promised.

He had been absolutely terrified that something had happened to her, but thankfully after four _very_ long weeks, she finally arrived at their doorstep.

Uncle Aquila and Stephanos were away for the week, visiting some old friends in a nearby village and Cris and Leo enjoyed spending time alone.

Today they had planned to finally let the cubs go outside for the first time before the winter would truly set in and the snow would fall. The autumn was coming to an end rapidly now and it was freezing nearly every day. 

Leo wanted them to discover the world outside and let them play in the garden but just when they wanted to leave Isbeil had showed up.

Leo was incredibly relieved to see her and embraced his sister as tight as he could without properly choking her.

The cubs had been a pretty welcome distraction during those long weeks for they grew like weeds and needed around the clock attention.

Now that they could run around and climb, they got themselves into a great deal of trouble at every chance they got.

They had been restricted to their chambers by uncle Aquila, who cleverly refused to allow them access to the rest of the villa, but the enormity of the chambers provided them with plenty of obstacles and adventures to explore.

Bran was always the one who initiated their little quests, naturally, the one who jumped on _everything_ he could find, and who bit and chewed on everything he saw.

Everything interested him, everything was a challenge, an adventure on its own.

The world was _his_  little playground and Bran loved to discover new sceneries.

He did not seem to experience any fear, he merely latched himself onto everything he could find, without realizing the danger behind it.

And being a true cub, there was hardly anything that he did not get enthusiastic and curious about and therefore needed to investigate.

Sometimes there were days where all Bran got to do was being disciplined by Cris.

He used to fall down all the time, whenever he had miscalculated the distance in a jump from the table onto the bed, or when he tried to jump onto the sofa, not realizing that it was far too high for him to reach.

He also loved playing hide and seek and they often spend hours looking for him, only to realize that he had crawled under the bed or hid between the sheets in the closet.

Somehow he loved to get himself into continuos trouble.

Cris didn't like to be hard on Bran, but unfortunately it was pretty much mandatory for the little one was growing bolder and more defiant by the day.

The other two were luckily a lot easier to handle.

Conor mostly kept to himself, spending a lot of time curled up against Cristiano's chest, simply nibbling at his fingers or enjoying the nursery rhymes that Cris sang to him.

He was very obedient and calm and always did whatever they told him to do.

Conor seemed to be just as interested in climbing and discovering things as Bran was, only he lacked a certain _confidence_ that allowed him to actually divulge in his curiosity.

Only when Cris urged him to climb on something by leading him there, he would. A little nudge was often all that it took to persuade Conor to overcome his fears.

Bran loved to provoke Conor, to lure him into a little brawl, but his little brother seldom indulged his endless need for warfare. A wise decision seeing how much larger Bran was compared to Conor.

He also had a wildness in his eyes that Conor lacked.

Maeve was even more different from both her brothers. She spend most of her time peacefully snoozing in Leo's arms or playing with his fingers, seldom in the mood to leave the security of his arms.

But she was not to be underestimated for her calm behavior masked a storm.

Bran had bitten Conor hard in his neck a while back, drawing his blood and the little cub had cried out in agony, pleading for someone to help him.

Maeve had ran forward and latched herself onto Bran's back, biting and scratching him as hard as she could.

Bran, who was completely taken aback at her fury, released Conor quickly and retreated himself to the edge of the bed, licking the blood of his wounds, whining soft.

Maeve had contently curled up behind Conor and slowly cleaned the blood of her brother.

It had startled Cris and Leo, to see that the cubs could be so vicious to one another, and to be safe they kept Maeve and Conor away from Bran that night.

Leo had decided to only speak Gaelic to the cubs and through them, Cris learned it as well.

He had already mastered the basic commands and Leo could tell that he understood more and more Gaelic every day.

The cubs had grown quickly, and they no longer fitted into Cristiano's hand like little fur balls. They were the size of small cats and grew larger everyday.

Cristiano's leg was finally on the mend as well.

He was able to walk on it more easily due to Leo's constant cares and late night massages. He had not used the cane in weeks.

Last night, Leo had caught Cris running around with Bran, racing him to the door.

There was almost no limb visible at that time and Leo was relieved for it.

Sometimes he could still see the limb in his steps, but for the most part, Cris seemed to have the full mobility in his leg again.

He considered the option that Cris was ignoring his pain and only acted like he was feeling better to prove to Leo that he was still strong, but Leo did not believe him to be lying about it.

Cris had never been any good at lying.

As Leo invited his sister and Iker into their chamber and poured them some red wine and handing them some bread and oil, the cubs awoke from their regular spot on the bed.

They always slept in the middle, right between Cris and Leo, Maeve usually snuggled against Leo's tunic, pressing her cold, wet nose against his neck.

''By the gods, do they grow fast,'' Isbeil noticed as she strolled to the bed and sat down next to the cubs, slowly extending her hand to them to pet them. ''May I?'' she asked and Leo nodded assuring.

''Yes, although Bran, the largest one, tends to bite but he does not bite through to the bone,''

Isbeil's eyes went foggy and she took a deep breath. ''You called him Bran?''

''Yes, after our brother,'' Leo whispered and he sat down next to his sister and took Bran into his arms, pressing a kiss to his crown before he handed him over to Isbeil.

His sister seemed to be struck by lightning at the sight of the cub and when Leo lowered him into her arms she went silent as a mouse.

''Sister? Are you all right?'' Leo asked. Isbeil placed her hand on top of his and squeezed it tight.

''I'm fine little man, he is awfully cute,'' she smirked as Bran started sniffing at her hand and licking her pinkie, but Cristiano snorted behind her, suppressing a grin.

''Uhu just wait until he has woken up _completely_ , the sleep is merely slowing him down. A real rugrat that one, but the good kind,''

''Indeed? He looks pretty harmless to me,'' Iker mused as he sat down next to Isbeil to stroke Bran's head.

The cub yawned deep and barked at his hand, gently biting down on his palm and Iker yelped surprised. ''Ouch careful you little beast,''

''See? Cris is right, and just wait until he has fully woken. He is a real troublemaker,'' Leo said, grinning deep at their largest cub.

''Indeed,'' Iker noted as he retracted his hand.

Maeve stretched herself lazily and raised to her four paws.

She zigzagged toward Leo and hopped onto his lap, her blue eyes glassy and tired and she placed her gray head onto his lap, gently biting on his thumb.

''This little lady is called Maeve, she is the only girl of the pack,'' Leo explained. Isbeil's eyes narrowed and she seemed to be reminiscing about where she had heard the name before.

''Oh right, you named her after your old horse,'' she chipped and Leo nodded affirming.

''I did, she is very sweet though. The most lovable one of the pack if you ask me.  
Although Cris does not agree with me on that, he says that Conor is the most endearing cub,'' Leo grinned, gesturing his head to the last cub that is still slightly snoozing onto the covers.

Another shadow went over Isbeil's face at the sound of their other brother's name and she took Iker's hand into her own for comfort.

''You named him Conor, of course you did. I might have known,'' she choked out, emotions flowing through her eyes.  
''I am sorry if this upsets you,'' Leo sniffed but she shook her head.

''No little man, it is a good thing that you named them after our brothers. That way they stay _alive_ , somehow,''

''I miss them, even Bran,'' Leo admitted, his voice merely more than a whisper now.  
The thought of their eldest brother ached at his soul, gnawing away at his heart.

He could still see Bran riding away into battle for he last time.

He was so tall and muscled, with long wavy chestnut hair that reached to his middle and wild brown eyes.

He carried a spear larger than himself and had his twin swords sheathed into his buckle.

Bran was seated on his giant black mare called Scathach and he had never looked more dangerous, more lethal.

His face was painted with blue stripes and his arms were riddled with tribal tattoos, commending his bravery.

People of their clan whispered that Bran was a descendent from the wise war god and protector of the people, called Fingal. Leo knew that it was _probably_ not true, but he had to admit that Bran seemed to suit the god's qualities pretty well.

When Bran had rode away that last time, he turned his face to Leo and gave him a tight smile.

And in that moment Leo knew.

He knew that his brother would never return, nor would anyone of his family.

That had been their goodbye. A tiny, preserved smile. Not a hug nor a kiss.

There was no room for such trivialities, not in their family.

The only thing that mattered in their clan was strength, honor and bravery.

Bran had been the one who taught Leo how to fight when he was a small child.

He had started when Leo had just turned four years old, by arming him with a small wooden sword he had to keep on him at all times, and teaching him the basic stances of swordplay.

When Leo was six he learned how to use a bow and arrow, although their family did not approve of such _'cowardly weapons.'_  

But Bran argued that they could be useful to gain an advantage over the enemy, and their father could not argue against his reason.

At age eight Leo was able to shoot arrows from his horse's back and was quite skilled in fighting with daggers, swords and axes.

Bran had taught him how to survive in the wild, how to built a fire, how to sneak up on a deer, to kill it and skin it.

His lessons had been hard but fair and Leo was certain he would not be alive today if it wasn't for everything his brother had taught him as a child.

Isbeil released Iker's hand at the sight of Leo's pained face and took her brother's hand into her own. Her touch was gentle and warm.

''I know love, I miss them too. Bran was our leader, the one who protected us whenever we needed his help.  
He was the one who taught me to catch frogs with my bare hands, but also the one who ordered me to release them afterward.

Bran was a good man and we all loved him, despite his temper. And Conor, well...Conor was _different_. He was special.  
He actually knew the meaning of the word mercy. Conor was good, and clever. He used to be the other one who took care of you when you were an infant,''

''He was? I thought you had raised me?''

''Well I had, but Conor helped me a lot. He used to walk around through the camp with you on his back in a little carrying cloth. He taught you how to walk and spend hours teaching you to speak.  
He bragged about you _all_ the time, saying how smart you were for your age and how you were destined for greatness. He truly loved you,''

Leo frowned deep. ''Why don't I remember any of that? When I grew older he always seemed to ignore me,''

''He did not ignore you, he had merely...'' Isbeil shut her eyes and exhaled deep.

''Merely what?'' Leo urged but his sister shook her beautiful head.  
''I can't tell you Leo, please just let it rest,''

''No, I want to know what I did that made Conor hate me,''

Isbeil slapped Leo hard across his cheeks, startling everybody in the chambers, including Maeve who had woken from her snoozing and was barking at Isbeil for hurting Leo. ''He did not _hate_ you! Don't ever say such things!'' Isbeil screamed.

''Then what happened to us?'' Leo asked, gesturing to Cris to sit back down on his sofa for his friend had already gotten up to see if he needed help.

''I cannot tell you, I've sworn an oath of secrecy to him and I like to believe that I still possess a shred of honor. Therefore I will keep my promise,''

''He is dead sister, he will not mind it if you break it,''  
''Do not make me smack you again little man, you know as well as I do that oaths do not get broken when one party dies,''

''Conor will not mind if you tell me what happened, he cannot see us any longer,'' Leo reasoned.

Isbeil bit her lip and a furious blush spread over her rosy cheeks. ''You don't know that!''

''Yes I do, he is dead, there is no life in the void,'' he argued, cheeks heating up as well and Isbeil inhaled deep, shivering with cold anger.

''Leo, please let it rest,'' Cristiano intervened but Leo bristled stubborn and pursed his lips together. ''No, I want to know what I did that made my family hate me so much,''

''Well then you're out of luck for I will never tell you!'' Isbeil shrieked, eyes gleaming with held back tears.  
Leo's mind was racing as he desperately tried to figure out what he had done wrong.

What could he have done to Conor that made him hate Leo so much? Had he betrayed his trust somehow?  
Sold one of his secrets to their father? Leo hated not knowing things.

Cristiano started a slightly lighter subject about something insignificant but Leo's mind was too preoccupied to listen to it.  
After a while of mauling over his own thoughts, Cristiano interrupted them roughly by calling out his name. ''Leo?''

''Hm what?''  
''I was telling Isbeil and Iker about our upcoming adventure,'' Cris mumbled and Leo's mind cleared.

''Oh right, what about it?''

''Have you gone completely mad Leo?'' Isbeil asked sharply and Leo grinned. ''I don't know sister, have I?''

''Yes I think so, if you honestly believe that you have a real chance of finding the lost eagle north of the wall. What by all the gods possessed you two to even think about going north?''

''Well why not? I know the territory and I know where to look for it,'' Leo argued but his sister rolled her eyes at him.

''That is not the point Leo, it could be melted down for all we know. Or traded off to some tribe, gods it could be down on the bottom of the ocean. This is a fools errand!''

Leo knew that she was right, in fact all those arguments she used, he had told Cris during these past few weeks, but nonetheless, Cris had stubbornly persisted in his desire to go north to find the lost eagle.

Feeling strengthened by the fact that his leg was almost healed completely and that they had three wolves to protect them along the way.

After that Leo had no longer been able to find good reasons not to go.  
In fact he secretly desired to go back home, even if it was dangerous and reckless.

Cris had promised to free him when they would come back from their journey, with or without the eagle. The fact that Leo was willing to try and find it was apparently enough reason for Cris to keep his promise.

Leo no longer considered himself to be a slave, not really.

He was no longer forced to wear the slave tablet inside the villa and he had a lot of privileges.

''It might be a fools errand Isbeil, but we _have_ to try,'' Cris said.

''Why? Are you so adamant on risking not only your life but my brother's life as well? Does his safety mean nothing to you? He is my last brother,'' Isbeil lashed out and Leo could see how that comment cut through Cris like a knife.

''Please don't say such things. His safety means the _world_ to me and I realize very well that he is your last remaining brother. But you have to understand one thing my dear lady. I am a man without honor. Without any chance of redemption.  
I will never have a good name again for my family will be forever cursed by my father's actions in losing the precious eagle.

I need my _honor_ back. Surely you would understand why such things are important to a man? For your clan valued honor beyond everything else,'' Cristiano said and Isbeil's eyes widened.

''How would you know such things?''  
''Leo told me many stories about your family, and I am an excellent listener,''

''Indeed he is,'' Leo chipped in and Cris shot him a thankful smile.

''But it is not safe out there, you need protection,'' Isbeil reasoned and Leo nodded at Maeve who was sound asleep again in his arms.

''They are coming with us, don't you worry,''  
''But they are merely babies,''

''Yes but we will not leave any time soon. Come spring when the snows have melted, we shall depart. The cubs will be quite large then and therefore a better protection to us. And besides, we are taking a true war horse with us: Moire,'' Leo said proudly.

Isbeil gnawed on her lower lip, very much like Leo always did when he was at a dead end.  
''I should come with you, to keep you safe,'' she said but Leo shook his head stubbornly.

''I'm not taking you into danger if I can prevent it sister,''  
''I do not remember asking you for permission little man,''

''You do not need to ask for permission,'' Cris interrupted, placing his hand on Isbeil's arm, ''But alas, you cannot come with us. Not because we do not want you to, but because your master will leave by ship for his other villa near Rome in a few days,''

Leo sighed relieved and nodded in compliance. ''He is right, we overheard your master talking to master Aquila about leaving for warmer climates. He hates the cold Britain winters,''

''He will take his entire household with him, you and Iker included,'' Cris added and Isbeil sighed frustrated.  
''Can you attempt to buy me from him so that I can come with you? You could use another sword,''

''No, your master has made it quite clear that you are not for sale, unfortunately. My uncle has tried it a while back but Lucius said no,'' Cris sighed.

Iker, who had been silent for a long time decided to speak to his lover. ''Do not worry so much my love, I am certain your brother and his master will be quite safe,''

''My darling, I love you. But please stop speaking now before you make an even _bigger_ fool out of yourself,'' Isbeil retorted and Iker pursed his lips together and she spoke again, ''You have no idea what is out there Iker. What life is like north of the wall.

There are rogue warriors, dangerous hill tribes, endless cliffs and treacherous paths, riddled with mud and quick sand. The mist can get so vast that you cannot even see the edge of a cliff before you fall off it. We are a hard people for a reason my love.

Because the environment requires us to be unyielding, adaptable and tough. If you are not careful, the north will consume you alive. And my little brother has made his mind in going back there, to find a statue that is long lost.

So yes I am quite certain that you have no idea as to what you are speaking about.  
You come from a warm land, with lots of vineyards and rich soil to grow grapes and all sorts of fruits in it. You will never know what the north is like and I pray to the gods that you will never have to find out,''

Iker chewed on his upper lip and kissed Isbeil's cheek. ''I am sorry, that was silly of me to say,''  
''Yes it was,'' Isbeil teased but she pecked his cheek anyway.

Cristiano was stroking Conor's back with the edge of his fingers and cradled the cub close to his chest. Leo knew that Isbeil's talk of the north had scared him.  
For Leo had told Cris about the dangers that existed there, but he had left out some of the bits that his sister had now openly proclaimed.

''Cris, it will be fine,'' Leo mumbled in his ear when he got up from his place on the bed and sat down next to Cris on the sofa.  
''But what if I get you killed?'' Cris choked out, voice smaller than Leo had ever heard it.

''You won't,''  
''You cannot say that. I might get you killed, I might get us all killed. You, me, and the little ones,'' he said with a nod to Conor.

''Your gods will keep you and the cubs safe, I am certain of it,'' Leo ensured him.  
''But they will not keep _you_ safe, for you do not believe in any gods anymore. What if I lose you?''

Leo took Cris' hand into his own and felt how cold and lifeless it was.

It was a strange feeling for most of the times Cris' hands were as warm as his heart.  
He cradled Cris' cheek with his other hand and forced the chestnut eyes to meet his own.

''Listen to me very carefully my friend: you will _not_ lose me. I will make sure of it, all right? If it makes you feel any better I will start praying to my own gods for protection again,'' he promised and he sees that the last comment really does make Cris feel better.

''That would really help me yes, to know that you will be protected by your own gods,''  
Leo decided to swallow his comment about telling Cris that his entire family believed and prayed to the gods and that it didn't exactly help them.

He knows precisely how important it is to Cris that he is safe.

He had seen the sheer need and desire in Cris' eyes for a very long time now and he knew in his heart that he had but to extend his hand to Cris and he would be his forever.

A large part of Leo actually wanted to give in. Desired it more and more every day.  
But Leo was still a Brigantes.

He would not yield to such weakness so lightly.

When Cris was calmed down they served a nice and quiet dinner, simple vegetable soup and bread and afterward Isbeil and Iker had to return to their own villa.

Leo and Cris walked them to the door and Leo felt his sister's strong arms come around his back, embracing him tight. For this was a goodbye for a long time, they both realized that.

He had only just found her again and now he had to go on without her for maybe another year.

''Farewell little brother, may the gods keep you safe,'' Isbeil sniffed, struggling against her tears.  
''And you sister,''

''Oh I almost forgot, I have got something for you,'' she said and she ruffled through her duffle bag and pulled a small carved bear out of it and placed it in Leo's hand.  
Leo's throat constricted and tears were stinging behind his eyes. This was Bran's totem.

He carried it with him during each fight he partook. He had carved it himself when he was younger and sometimes let Leo play with it when he had been a good boy.

''How did you get this?'' he choked out, studying the wooden bear, stroking his fingers over the dark material.

''Bran gave it to me when he rode off, told me to give it to you when the time was right. He would have wanted you to have it, so that his strength would be carried on through you,'' Isbeil said, wiping a tear off her porcelain cheek.

''Thank you sister, but I am not certain I deserve it,'' Leo admitted, his own inferiority toward Bran shining through again. Leo had always felt like he was nothing compared to their brother. For Bran was everything he would never be: tall, brave, fearless, handsome and daring.

Leo was just the little one. Bran actually called him _'little one'_ on a daily basis, only making Leo feel even smaller than he already was.

''Yes you do, you have been so strong during these last couple of years Leo. Bran would have been proud of you for your resilience, and therefore you do deserve it. May it keep you safe brother,'' Isbeil mused and she kissed Leo's forehead, embracing him once last time.

''May the gods keep you sister. Thank you for this present,'' Leo said and Isbeil nodded.

''It's yours by right. Stay safe little man. Until our next meeting,''

She released him and said goodbye to Cris, who pressed a kiss to her hand while Leo shook Iker's hand.  
When they had left and Cris shut the door behind them, Leo burst out into tears.

Cris helped him back to the sofa and held him until he had no more tears to shed.

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I had doubted a long time whether I would send them north of the wall for the eagle or not.  
> I wanted to leave them here in Calleva because I feared it would be too long if I would send them north, but I decided to let them go anyway. 
> 
> I mean that is the point of the story isn't it? And I kind of like the idea of the cubs going with them for protection. 
> 
> Oh I'm basing Leo's brother Bran on Rollo from Vikings. I don't know if you know the series, but if you do not, O I suggest you google him so you can get a look at his appearance. I think Bran would be like Rollo, fierce, tall, a great fighter and a bit reckless. 
> 
> Let me know what you think about this chapter. Thank you guys for sticking with the story. I hope it doesn't become too long or boring. <3


	16. The road goes ever on and on.

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Cris and Leo awake to the first snow of the season. 
> 
> Other things happen...

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Since I'm going away this weekend and have no time to write then, I decided to make a chapter today. 
> 
> Give you guys something to last a few days on. Although I have to say that the ending is a giant cliffhanger so you'll probably kill me for that. 
> 
> Anyway, I hope you guys like it and I still appreciate everyone who reads this and who leaves me kudos and notes!  
> You guys are the best!

_Cristiano_.

 

 

 

 

Cristiano awoke early that morning, greeted by a thick blanket of snow that was covering the landscape.

He gasped in sheer joy and was looking forward to taking the cubs into the snow for the first time in their lives.

The world outside had never been more beautiful or peaceful as it was that first day of winter when it _really_ snowed.

The crystal snowflakes were draped over the trees, cradling the green stems of grass. Smaller animals had left their tracks into the substance. 

The world had gone silent, like a white blanket that had deprived them of any outside noises.

Cristiano had always liked the silence, he found it liberating somehow.

It was in the peace and quiet that he found _himself_ and learned more about who he truly was.

When he had been a child, his father had taken him for hour long walks through the snowy forests, teaching him the values of life he had learned from his own father.

A little nudge against his ankle tore him away from his daydreams and he gazed down at a familiar sight.

''Bran, what are you doing?'' he whispered to the cub who was whining soft and latched its teeth into Cris' breeches to prove a point.  
_''No biting!_ What do you want?'' Cris asked but the cub merely twisted his gray head at him and pressed his cold snout to his leg.

Cris grinned in amusement realizing that he merely wanted to be picked up again. ''Oh I see, you want to know what all the fuss is about don't you? Curious little beast,''

He pulled Bran into his arms, slightly groaning at the weight of him, for he was really getting too big and too heavy to carry around, and he held him up to the window so he could see the magical world outside.

The cubs were nearly thee months old now and seemed to grow quicker every day.

Bran was still growing the fastest, being only a bit bigger than a grown cat but the other two were a little smaller.

They were unsure as to why that was for Leo saw to it that all three of them got the same amount of food every day. He went to the butchers shop nearly every day to buy them the best fresh meat and he made sure they had lost of variety in their diet.

Bran preferred to eat chicken while the other two had a taste for cow and pork bits.  
Leo and the other cubs were still asleep on the bed and Cris gave them a warm smile.

Bran was whining in his arms as he stared at the white wonderland outside and Cris hushed gentle.  
''Shhh you'll wake them, you know that Conor is a light sleeper,''

He knew Leo wouldn't arise for a while unless he woke him, for Leo had drank nearly four cups of red wine last night and was surely out of it for hours if he let him.

Bran stared outside again and noticed the nearly full moon dancing around in the clear blue sky.

He barked at it, waking his brother and sister in the process.

Bran, being a true wolf, loved the moon and already attempted to howl at it like his parents had surely done when they were still alive.

Cris sighed and turned around, slowly walking back to the bed to gather the other cubs, hoping he wouldn't wake Leo.

Maeve released herself from Leo's solid arms and hopped into Cris' extended arm and curled up against his chest, licking her brother's coat to greet him.

Bran sniffed at her neck and licked his soft tongue across his sister's face.

Maeve was the peace keeper of the pack, the voice of reason.

The one who was equally loved by both her brothers and the only one who could stop them from fighting whenever Bran was challenging Conor. That seemed to happen a lot more often these days and Cris and Leo were both covered with scrapes and cuts from trying to stop them.

Conor did not seem to desire leaving Leo's company and curled himself up against Leo's chest, taking Maeve's place.  
Leo's arm came around him and he sighed deep, sinking back into an even deeper slumber so it seemed.

Maeve leaned forward, pressing her furry paw into Cris' neck and licked his cheek lovingly.

''Good morning to you too darling,'' Cris chuckled, always getting ticklish when she did that. ''Do you want to see something truly majestic?'' he asked her and the cub looked up expectantly.

He walked back to the window and hauled both of them upward so they could peer out.  
His finger pointed to the world outside and two pair of eyes followed it curiously. ''There, do you see that? It's called snow,''

Maeve chewed on his fingers and squeaked soft. ''Yes it might _look_ nice and soft like a blanket but it's actually quite cold, you might not like it,'' he mused but she stared at him skeptically.

Maeve tapped her paw against the window and barked.  
''Do you want to go out?'' he chirped and she barked soft in response, her blue eyes gleaming.

''We have to wait for Leo and your brother love, it's something we should all do together,''

Cris still remembered the first time they had taken the cubs outside, a month ago. The day after Iker and Isbeil had left them.

They had put the little ones in the garden and waited for them to respond.

Bran had been the first to venture further into the garden, slowly jumping into the mud, dirtying his fur, up to the point where he was nearly as brown as a bear.

Leo had been worried that they might have scurried off, wondering all the way into the woods but luckily for them the cubs didn't seem to want to leave their sight.

When the other two saw how much Bran liked exploring the scenery they followed him fast enough.

They had played in the mud all day, turning nearly black in the process and Leo had to bathe them for hours to finally get them clean and ready for bed.

It was the first bath they had gotten and specially Maeve loved playing in the hot water.

Cris was staring out the window with the cubs for a long time when a small, stifled voice emerged from the other side of the room.

''What are you doing?'' Leo groaned.

''It has snowed last night, so the cubs wanted to see it,'' Cris replied and he walked back to the bed, sitting down next to Leo, offering him his usual, much needed cup of water.

Maeve and Bran jumped back onto the blanket and started poking their noses at a very sleepy Conor who yawned a few times before he opened his yellow eyes.

''Good morning Conor,'' Cris grinned and he stroked the little one's head.

Leo drank it eagerly, patted the cubs and nodded a thank you. ''It's the first snow this winter, and it has arrived quite late. Which tells me that we are in for a long winter,''

Cris raised an eyebrow. ''Really? I did not know that,''

''Well it's an old wives tale my people believe in, I'm not quite sure if it's even true,'' Leo shrugged as he put the cup down. ''In the north the winters are _always_ long and even in the spring and summer it is not warm like it is in Rome or other southern places. The north is always quite chilly,''

''Good to know,'' Cris sighed sarcastic and Leo eyed him cautiously, narrowing his brown eyes.

''Are you doubting our mission again?'' he asked sharply and Cris groaned deep.

How was it that Leo always seemed to know what he was thinking? It was unfair really, around Leo he never got to keep any secrets to himself.

To Leo he was an open book, easily readable. Then again, the same comparison went to Cris when it came to Leo.

Leo was quite easy to understand as well.

Maybe they knew each other so well because they spend all their time together, but Cris had a feeling that it was something deeper, something more profound.

As if something invisible had bound him to Leo.

Cris was absolutely certain that he would be able to find Leo even if he couldn't see. That was how strong their connection was.

It grew even stronger with every day that passed.

But it also cared Cris to his core.  
The fear of losing Leo was so palpable sometimes that it seemed to constrict him.

He doubted his decision of going north to find the eagle nearly each day after they had decided to pursue it.

Cris knew that he wouldn't be able to live with himself if he got Leo killed on his watch and a big part of him was almost considering to forget about the eagle all together.

Was it really _worth_ risking Leo's life for? Over a golden piece of metal?

Was that so important to him that he would willingly endanger Leo's life for it?

But just when he had decided to let the blasted thing go, he ran into people in the village who were whispering the usual accusations behind his back.

The words _'cursed'_ and _'no honor'_ were often uttered and in those moments Cris felt a very old, deep seethed anger rising to his chest.

His father's honor was at stake. His _own_ honor was the reason he had to do this.  
But what of the cost?

Was he really going to risk his life, Leo's and their cubs for his honor?

Cris was so terrified that the hunt for the eagle would cost him everything he had grown to love so much, that he often awoke in the middle of the night, bathing in cold sweat.

Dreams where he lost all of them plagued him nearly every night.

When he awoke from them he would curl up against Leo's back, pressing his arms around him as tight as he could before falling back into a deep slumber.

They hadn't told uncle Aquila of their plans just yet, mostly because Cris knew that he would try to pursuade them from going.

They had agreed that they would not inform him until the very last minute before they left.

Cris knew that the old warrior would tell him not to bring Leo along, for he would jam the knife up his back the moment they left the Roman territory. Despite the fact that his uncle liked Leo, Cris knew that he didn't trust him one bit.

He acted like he did though, and he surely liked Leo helping Cris recover and enjoyed watching them train with weapons, but a part of the old man was clearly still concerned that Leo would turn the moment he would be back into his old surroundings.

Leo was still a Briton after all, and a huge part of his uncle would never truly trust a Briton.

Cris knew that Leo would never do such a thing, for he had given him his word along with his family's dagger and Leo's word was his bond.  
He would only break it by his death.

''I am _not_ doubting our mission,'' Cris assured Leo but he earned a grin from his small friend in response.  
''You're the worst liar I have ever met,'' he noted dryly.

''Well you're not that good at it yourself,'' Cris fired back and Leo smirked, as he twisted his fingers through Bran's thick coat.

''You sound just like my sister, it does not suit you without the long brown braid in your hair,'' Leo snorted attempting to jest, but his eyes were riddled with sadness.

Cris placed a tentative hand on top of Leo's and held it tight. ''I'm certain that she is _fine_ Leo,''

''You don't know that, their ship could have sank on the way to Rome! Ships sink all the time,'' Leo argued and Cris rolled his eyes.

''I realize that, thank you very much. I will ask my uncle if he has gotten any word from Lucius today if that comforts you,''  
Leo looked relieved, knowing that Lucius had vowed to write his uncle when they had arrived in Rome. ''It does,''

''Good, so why don't you give the cubs their breakfast while I go to get ours?'' Cris suggested and Leo nodded.

''All right, after that we can take them outside to play in the snow. I also need to visit Moire today, to make sure she is being fed and brushed,''

''Maybe I'll join you, afterward we can go practice in the yard,'' Cris said, already looking forward to giving Leo a royal beating during their sword practice.

Not that it happened all the time, for Leo was an insanely skilled and fearsome warrior who beat him as much as the other way around, maybe even more, though he would never admit that out loud.

Cristiano had the advantage of sheer strength and Roman discipline, but Leo's small posture and unpredictable agility made him move like the wind and that worked in his benefit.

Leo liked to fight with two fairly short wooden swords, like his brother Bran had taught him to do but Cris preferred a long sword in his right hand and his rectangle metal shield in the left.

Leo had suggested to try a bit of wrestling a while ago but Cris had declined that offer with the sorry excuse of his leg, knowing very well that his leg was not the problem.

The problem would be that he already felt enough conflicting things toward Leo.

Having him on top of him, shirtless and sweaty, their limbs tangled together would probably not improve that situation and could only lead to uncomfortable scenarios.

Cris was certain that being on top of Leo like that would only encourage him to finally lean in and kiss him and that was a bridge he could not burn.

As much as Cris wanted to take that final step, maybe even needed it, he couldn't.

''We cannot go for practice today, I need to go into town to get meat for the cubs, like I told you yesterday,'' Leo reminded him and Cris nodded.

''Right, I forgot. But I can do it if you want, I really need to get my sword to the blacksmith to get it sharpened so it is on my route,'' he offered.  
''I can go with you,''

''Someone needs to stay with the cubs, you know how my uncle hates it when they run around in our chambers without supervision,''

''Yes but I don't like the idea of you wondering through that place on your own. The people are always whispering horrible things about you, saying what they would like to do to you,'' Leo said, concern beaming in his warm eyes.

''Do not worry so much Leo, I can protect myself in case you haven't noticed,''

''One giant bear can be killed by a pack of angry wolves Cris, what is one man against an angry mob?'' Leo whispered and Cris clasped onto his hand a bit tighter.

''I will be fine, if anyone dares to challenge me they will get in trouble with my uncle, and he still has plenty of friends in the area. Nobody will be _foolish_ enough to attack me,'' he assured Leo but his friend remained unconvinced.

''I hope you're right,'' he said and he slipped out of bed and fed the bowl of water for the cubs and watched them jump of the bed to drink.

After they fed the cubs their breakfast and ate their own porridge, they washed themselves quickly and changed into fresh clothes.

Cris handed Leo the thick woolen cloaks they used to go outside and they put extra breeches over their existing pair to stay warm.  
Leo handed Cris his furry boots and strapped his own brown ones to his feet.

''I hope it won't be too cold for them,'' Cris mused when he clasped the brooch to his cloak and tightened the fabric.

''No, they belong to this land remember? They can handle it, their coat is already thick enough,'' Leo noted and he put his hand on the doorway and ordered the cubs to sit, which they all did, except for Bran, who needed to be told twice as usual.

 _''Bran!_ Don't start with me today! All right, follow us,'' Cris ordered and Leo opened the door and walked ahead of the cubs to the yard.

''And what exactly are those beasts doing out of your chambers?!'' a dark voice snarled and uncle Aquila stepped out of the darkness and folded his hands in his sides. Cris pursed his lips together and swore under his breath.

Until this moment he had foolishly thought that his uncle had never knew they took the cubs outdoors sometimes but the old man was simply too conniving to miss anything.

''Good morning uncle, we were merely taking the little ones for a stroll in the garden. They never saw snow before,'' Cris smiled but the old man was clearly in the wrong mood to be humored.

''They are not that little anymore Cristiano, and I thought I was pretty clear when I forbade you to let them out of your chambers?''

''You were clear uncle, and I'm sorry for disobeying you but-''

Leo stepped forward and pressed a hand to Cris' arm, silencing him. ''It was my idea domine, I was the one who convinced your nephew to let the wolves go outside. I thought that the fresh air might do them some good. They have been fighting a lot lately and a change of venue might help,''

Cristiano was seriously impressed with Leo's ability to come up with such a quick and convincing lie and it seemed that his uncle was actually believing it.  
''Very well, I only hope that you have those animals under control for I will not risk the safety of my household,''

''We have them under control domine,'' Leo said, but Cris heard the unsaid words: ''Well _most_ of them,''

Cris quickly picked Bran up from the floor and held him tight to make sure he wouldn't lash out to his uncle.

''Have you heard any news from Lucius yet uncle?'' Cris asked and he felt Leo tense up to his right. The old man shook his head warily and sighed.

''Not yet, I am sorry my boy. But it is a long voyage to Rome so I wouldn't worry too much. I will let you know the moment I receive a letter,'' he said to Leo who nodded grateful.

''Thank you domine,''  
''Now get those beats out of my sight,'' the old man chided and Cris decided that it was best to obey.

They walked tot the back door and slid it open, slowly stepping out into the garden.

Bran was still struggling in Cris' arms and was barking reluctantly now, begging for his freedom to be returned to him.

Cris put him down into the icy snow and watched the cub jump up in surprise when his furry paws touched the strange white substance.

Conor and Maeve were waiting nearby in the doorway, reluctant to pursue before they knew it was safe.

The cold snow was startling Bran so much that he jumped back up in Cris' inviting arms.

''Oh you do not like that do you? What is this? The great Bran being afraid of a little snow?'' Cris mocked and he leaned down to grab a hand of snow and offered it to the pup, showing him that there was nothing to be scared of.

Leo scooped the other two scared cubs into his arms and walked further outside, the familiar feeling of the ice cold air eating at his lungs.

''Come on you two, nothing to be afraid of,'' he soothed and he stepped beside Cris and crouched down into the snow, showing them that it was perfectly safe by placing his own body down in the white blanket.

He pressed some fresh snow to his face and shivered. ''What are you doing?'' Cris asked confused and Leo grinned.

''I'm showing them that it's not scary at all, when they see that it cannot hurt me they will feel encouraged to try it,''

Maeve stuck her little paw out to the snow and touched it cautiously, yelping and whining a bit in the process. Leo moved his body to the side so she lost her balance and fell nose deep into the snow with a disgruntled snarl.

She barked and cried out at his cruelty but when she finally dug her way out of the snow she looked quite content.

''That was _cruel_ Leo, even for you,'' Cris said as he extended his hand to Maeve to help her back into his arms. Leo stopped him by shaking his head and nudging him away.

''It is not cruel Cris, animals learn best by throwing them into the deep. Now that Conor and Bran see that it is safe, they will follow her. We used to do such things when we trained our pups all the time,'' he said, referring to his tribe.

Maeve was biting away at the snow now, clearly enjoying herself and Conor and Bran stared at each other one split second before they finally followed her example and carefully waddled into the snow for the first time.

Conor was hiding behind Bran as usual, but after a while they seemed to enjoy themselves and were running around in the landscape, playing with each other and discovering the world beneath the snow.

Bran was trying to move the snow with his snout, making tracks that Conor followed, mimicking his actions with his own nose. Maeve had grown tired of that game and decided that she had enough of the cold and had climbed back into Leo's arms, hiding under his green cloak, only her wet snout visible from the fabric.

''All right I think that is enough for today,'' Cris said after a while and they lead the cubs back to their room where they snuggled up against one another in the blankets on the bed.

All the excitement had worn them out so badly that all of them fell asleep in an instant.

''They are so cute,'' Cris smiled and he folded his arms together and stared lovingly at the little ones.

It was so nice for him to be surrounded by little cubs once again. Their presence made losing Cub a lot easier to handle.

They filled a big void in his heart.  
''I'm going to the village now, do you need anything besides meat?'' Cris asked as he sheathed his sword into his buckle but Leo shook his head.

''No I don't think so. Take an extra dagger with you, hide it in your boot,'' he ordered as he handed Cris the golden laced hilt of his favorite dagger.  
''Don't be so bloody  _paranoid_ Leo,'' Cris chided but he did as he was told despite his sarcasm.

''I just don't want to see you get hurt,'' Leo shrugged and despite the fact that Cris was touched by that, he still felt a bit belittled.

''I can take care of myself, I promise,''  
''I realize that, it is just-''

''Just what?''  
''I have a bad feeling about today, my dreams were quite disturbing last night,'' Leo shivered and Cris placed his hand on Leo's.

''They always are when you had too much to drink,'' he pointed out and Leo nodded.  
''You're right of course,''

Cris embraced Leo tight and felt his friends hands dig into his back, desperately trying to hold onto him for as long as he would allow it.  
''I will see you in a bit,'' he said and he pressed a kiss to Leo's temple.

''Yes,'' Leo choked out as he released him.

Cris walked out of the villa and entered the town, hearing the snow crisp under his feet.

The cold air was heavy in his lungs but not uncomfortable and he enjoyed a little moment of solitude to himself. In the villa he was always surrounded by someone.  
Leo, his uncle, Stephanos, or the cubs.

A moment alone was scarce and he made a promise to himself to enjoy every moment of it.

He went to the butchers shop first, buying himself a nice amount of cut up chicken and pork, that would last for a few days and he then headed to the blacksmith.

His sword was in _desperate_ need of a good whetstone, he mused.

The people of the village were staring at him again, saying unkind words about him behind his back and Cris took a deep breath, trying to compose himself.

He would not show these people that he cared about their opinion. He would rather die.

''Good afternoon,'' he said to the blacksmith when he entered his little cottage.

''Ah good day to you, how can I help you?'' the rurally man asked, putting down his anvil and eyeing Cris curiously.

The man had a chest as broad as a wine barrel and thick black hair.

This was no Roman, Cris could tell that instantly.  
He had a thick accent and was far too unclean and unshaven to be one.

Many Britons were working in the little villages that were controlled by Romans after their rebellion against the Romans had ended.

''Well my sword is in desperate need of a good whetstone if I'm honest. My uncle said that you were the best blacksmith around so I came to you,''

''And who might your uncle be?'' the man asked, quite rudely.

''I come from the Aquila estate,'' Cristiano admitted. The man's blue eyes narrowed dangerously and he huffed arrogant.  
''Ah so you're that cursed one are you?''

Cris resisted the urge to cringe at the man and kept his face neutral. A muscle on his jaw twitched. ''That would be me yes,''

''Good to know, now if you would hand me that sword,'' the smith barked out and Cris turned to his side to hand him his sword.

The smith moved forward suddenly and a very heavy object was being knocked against the back of Cris' head, slamming him face down onto the ground.

After that everything went dark.

A few miles away, three little wolves started howling...

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So...what happened to Cris????
> 
> Cliffhanger....
> 
> Yeah I'm quite evil, I know. 
> 
> Let me know if you like it <3


	17. I once was blind but now I see.

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Leo realizes that a certain old man was not as blind as he would have liked to believe. 
> 
> He goes into town to find Cris.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I'm sorry for disappearing on you guys for so long. But I was busy and had spend a long weekend away. 
> 
> So I'm back now with another chapter. I hope you guys will like it! 
> 
> And once again, I'm leaving a lot of plot holes for your own imagination to fill. I like to keep you guys guessing as to what happened to Cris. 
> 
> Please don't be mad at me.

_Leo_.

 

 

 

Leo was pacing up and down the endless corridors of the villa, his heart hammering away in his chest.

Fear and concern ate away at his heart and he had never felt so helpless and desperate in his life.

He knew he should have never let Cris go into town that day, somehow he had _known_ that it was a bad idea.

The cubs were whining and crying at his feet, Maeve being the loudest and she was desperately trying to get Leo's attention by jumping up and down at his legs.

''Maeve _stop_ that this instance!'' Leo finally snapped, the tension in his chest rising to its highest point.

The little cub whined startled and pulled herself back from Leo's anger, hiding behind Bran's larger body.

Leo instantly felt guilty for berating her in the way that he had.

It was not her fault that Cris was missing, it was nobody's fault but his own.

He crouched down at his cubs and lifted Maeve from behind Bran's back, cradling her shivering body to his chest. He could almost _sense_ her fear. It seemed to be radiating off her in waves of sadness.

Meave was afraid of him.

Scared of the man she used to love so much, afraid of the arms that used to hold her through each long night.

It broke Leo's heart.

''I'm sorry my love, I should not have yelled at you. It is not your fault he is gone, it is mine,'' Leo offered, kissing the top of her soft head, nuzzling his nose against her wet one.

Maeve pressed a furry paw to his cheek and licked the other one gentle.

Leo knew that she had already forgiven him, that was simply the way it worked with dogs and wolves.

You could hurt them and offend them time and again, but they would always forget it in an instant and come crawling back to their owners.

The cubs had been upset for _hours_ now and Leo was starting to feel at the end of his tether.

The sun was setting and the darkness crept over the white world outside.

Uncle Aquila finally set foot out of his chambers, wearing his thick fur cloak and his warm breeches.

It had taken Leo a while to convince the old man that something was truly amiss with his nephew, for the stubborn Roman was certain that Cris would be able to defend himself and that he was merely making 'new friends' in the town.

Leo had replied that Cristiano had no true talents in making friends, seeing how everyone would run from him or spit on him the moment he told them his family name, which seemed to silence the old man's inner debate.

He had visibly paled and agreed to come with Leo to search for his nephew.

''You should stay here domine, I can find him on my own,'' Leo said when the old man placed his sword in his buckle.

''If he is truly injured you will not be able to carry him back yourself, he is far too large and heavy for that,''

''I realize that, which is why I'm taking Moire with me,'' Leo decided, after thoroughly contemplating his options in his head.

Moire was his best chance in finding Cris, for she knew his scent and always seemed to know exactly where she was suppose to be going.

''That does not make her a tracker my boy,'' the old man reasoned and Leo snorted unimpressed.

''No but the cubs can track his scent better than anyone,'' he reasoned, still holding Maeve in his arms, who had finally calmed down a bit, but was still slightly quivering.

''Do not be silly, they are _far_ too young for that,'' uncle Aquila said, unable to hide the mockery in his voice.

''Their noses are what they are domine, regardless of their age and their noses never lie.  
They will be able to detect his scent and they will lead us to him.

However, I do not _need_ you to come with me, if you would allow me to arm myself, I can manage everything on my own,'' Leo tried but the old man shook his head wearily.

''And what if you are killed? My nephew would never forgive me if I allow you to get hurt on my watch when I could have prevented it. He's grown very fond of you Leo and losing you would break his heart,''

Leo forcedly resisted the urge to blush, using all his willpower he could muster.

''I realize that domine, but I will find him, I _promise_ you that. I will not attempt to escape and save myself. The only thing I desire is to see Cris unharmed and back in your estate,''

''Safe in your arms, you meant,'' uncle Aquila said and this time Leo could not prevent his blush, it spread over his cheeks, darkening them.

''Please give me a sword to protect myself, or a dagger at least,'' Leo chirped and the old man twiddled his fingers together and sighed.

''Very well, but I should still come with you, to keep you safe,''

''And who will keep _you_ safe domine? I need you to stay here, for there is a small possibility that Cris does come back and that this has all been a big misunderstanding,''

''But you do not believe that it is, do you?''

Leo shook his head. ''No, in fact I know that it is not. Cris had promised me to come back as soon as he could and he would never break his word.  
He hates the village almost as much as I do. He would have never lingered there if he did not have to. Something has happened to him and it is my task to bring him home,''

Uncle Aquila's blue eyes narrowed and Leo could tell he was investigating him once again.

The old man was always testing him, questioning his loyalty.

''I understand that you have no reason to trust me, seeing how my clan was responsible for your brother's death.  
But after all this time you do know me and you understand how much your nephew means to me. You have seen it in my eyes haven't you?'' Leo asked and the old man nodded. ''So please _trust_ me now. I would rather slid my own throat than endangering your nephew, in any way, because-''

Leo hesitated, gnawing on his lower lip, giving the old man plenty of time to come up with a fitting answer. ''Because you _love_ him, don't you?'' he rasped and Leo's brown eyes widened in shock.

Was he truly that easy to read? Had the silly old man known all along?

Perhaps he should attempt to hide his feelings more carefully in the future.

An iron fist clenched itself around his stomach and he suddenly felt nausea surging through his system. Should he deny the claim?

A part of Leo wanted to, but the other part, the more rational one, realized that it was futile and that maybe, just maybe, he should merely acknowledge his silly feelings for once.

Leo's suffocating concerns for Cris overshadowed any judgement the old man had about him and he decided to be plain and honest.

He cleared his throat and exhaled deep. ''Was it truly that obvious domine?''

''Only to everyone with a working set of eyes, I think,'' the old man said, his voice not particularly unkind, which was a tremendous relief to Leo.

He placed a warm hand on top of Leo's icy one and smiled gentle.

''I have known the truth for a very long time my boy, maybe even before either of you even realized it.

I could see it in the little details, the small gestures that most people would take for granted. I saw it in his eyes when he looked at you in that Arena for the first time and saved your life for no obvious reason whatsoever.

Or when he stood up for you when I threatened to whip you, demanding that I whipped him instead of you because he was so adamant to keep you safe, he would rather take the torment himself than submit you to it.

That was the moment when I knew the truth, when he lashed out to me, screaming that I had to punish him for he had made you a promise never to hurt you.

I saw it in your eyes when he came back with those little wolves and I told you that he had been hurt.

Someone's words can be false or insincere but the one thing that can never lie are the hidden messages that reside in people's eyes.

The eyes never lie. To a Roman the most necessary talent of all is mastering how to _read_ people's eyes.

For as you know, a Roman says one thing and means the exact opposite. Living among them for so many years has made me an expert in channeling the truth through other people's eyes and yours are quite open to me.

You were so worried about him and when you heard that he was injured your terrified eyes betrayed you.

You panicked.

The sheer need and desperation in them was visible. That was when I knew that my nephew's feeling were not in vain, that you loved him as well.  
You wear a good mask Leo, a very neutral, cold one, hard to read, but it is not as strong as you like it to be,''

Leo took a deep breath, his head was paining him due to the surprising amount of information that was raining down on him. ''And you are not mad at us or blame me for-''

''For what, my dear boy? We do not get to choose who we love now do we?  
You have done nothing wrong and neither has Cristiano.

In many other cultures it is quite normal for men to lay together.

I know many Romans who quite enjoy the pleasures of the male company it as well, and seeing how my nephew would never agree to marry anyone that isn't you I hardly see the problem,'' the old man clasped onto his sword and handed it to Leo.

Leo's head was spinning rapidly and he felt overwhelmed.

The old man had mentioned _marriage_.  
He had said that Cris would never agree to marry anyone that was not Leo. How was he suppose to respond to that?

He wondered what it was like, to be married to Cris.

''Go find my nephew,'' the old man said, unbuckling his cloak and covering Leo's back with the white woolen fabric.

Leo forced himself back to reality, ignoring the thoughts of him, the cubs and Cris living in a nice villa as a loving family till the end of his days.

That would _never_ happen.

Leo knew better than to believe in fairy tales. The world was what it was.

No need pretending that miracles would happen. 

''I will bring him home, thank you domine,'' Leo said, feeling relieved that he got the sword to protect himself and that he didn't have to worry about keeping the old man safe along the way.

Uncle Aquila placed his hand on Leo's cheek and smiled. ''You're a good lad, I can understand why he likes you so much. You keep him safe and you tell him the truth, whether he likes it or not. He needs that in his life, someone who is equal to him and is unafraid to speak his mind,''

''Thank you domine, I should get going now,'' Leo urged and the old man conceded a worried glance.

''Be very careful Leo, for I fear that the demons are inside the walls and you might not like what you find,'' he warned, leaving Leo wondering what he meant with that.

Alas he had no time to think about his mysterious riddles, Cris was in danger and he needed to get to him before it was too late.

Leo left the villa, hearing the snow crisp under his feet and made his way to Moire's stables. The cubs followed him close behind and they were still howling miserably.

He slid the heavy doors open, stepped inside, leaving the cubs waiting behind the door and greeted Moire with a crooked smile. ''Hello darling, we need to get to town as soon as we can. Cris might me be in danger,'' he told her as he gently caressed her raven forehead.

She eyed the cubs nervously and bristled her lips at Leo for taking them with him.

''I am sorry, but unfortunately I have no choice, they can track him. They won't bite you, I promise. No not even Bran,'' he assured her with a harsh glance at their largest cub, who was jumping up and down at his left, barking ecstatic.

Maeve and Conor were staring at Moire with the same amount of amazement as they usually did, like a part of them knew that she was the one responsible for their parents death.

Somehow they were always a bit weary toward her, not trusting her in the slightest.

Bran on the other hand, seemed more curious than afraid of the giant horse. Leo and Cris were often worried that Moire would trample Bran in her obvious fear of the cub but luckily they had been able to prevent any accidents so far.

Leo slid a halter over Moire's face to help himself control her a bit better, which seemed like a good plan seeing how afraid Moire was of the people in the village.

Usually he rode her without saddle or halter but for now it was the safest option for everyone.

He led her out of there stable and fed her a carrot to calm her when Bran tried to jump at her legs. ''Bran no! Behave yourself for once!'' Leo snapped and he scooped the cup off the straw and held the struggling one against his chest, attempting to calm him.

He took the folded tunic he had borrowed from Cris' closet from his satchel and let the Bran sniff at it.

The cub whined and barked and Leo nodded. ''Yes you know that scent don't you? It is Cris' and he is in trouble. I need you three to find him, and you are the leader, you understand me?'' he explained and Bran barked once more.

''Good boy,''

Leo put him down on the straw and let Maeve and Conor take a whiff at the brown tunic as well.

''Go find him,'' he ordered and Bran stared at him for a moment, his yellow eyes gleaming with understanding, and then they were off, storming out of there as fast as their little paws could carry them.

Leo stepped on the stable door and lowered himself on Moire's back, not very graceful but he didn't care. ''Follow them darling,'' he ordered, as he grabbed a torch from the stable when Moire's powerful legs galloped into the darkness.

The night was so dark that he could hardly see anything, despite the torch he had brought and he squinted his eyes to see where they were going.

Moire however seemed to know the way, even if he did not and so he gave her free rein and let her follow the cubs, who were running in front of them, barking loud.

The cold was stinging in his lungs and new snowflakes were embarking from the heavens, landing on his face, paling his cheeks even more.  
He put the hood over his head and shivered.

During the ride, which seemed to last an eternity, all kind of horrible scenarios made their way through Leo's head.

Cris had been attacked by the entire town for his bad family name and had been killed like some low thief, hanged like a criminal.

He had been raped by all the men there, leaving him raw, broken and bloody.

Someone had cut his throat, people had hacked his legs off.

No, he could not think like this.

Cris would still be alive, he had to be. Leo was certain that if Cris had been killed he would have felt it in his heart.

Leo could not imagine staying in this world if it meant he had to face it without Cristiano. He needed to find him, he needed that as much as he needed air in his lungs.

Maybe even more.

Without Cris, it all meant nothing. Bran barked up ahead and Leo veered up on Moire's back.

''What do you see Bran? Did you find him?'' he yelled and he saw the cub standing at the edge of a blacksmith's cottage.

Moire walked to the stone house and when she halted, Leo jumped off her back, nearly collapsing in the snow due to poor balance and walked to his cubs.

Bran was staring at a cloak that was laying in the snow.

Maeve was whining and Conor simply sat there, silent as ever, observing everything.

Leo recognized Cris' cloak instantly and fell to his knees in the snow, taking it in his hands, noticing the sticky fresh blood cleaving to the fabric.

There was a large pool of it smeared on the cloak and Leo's heart nearly gave out on him.

 _''Oh gods no, please,''_ he choked out, tears rolling over his cheeks.

Then he did something he never imagined himself doing, something he had not done in many years: he prayed to his gods to watch over Cris.

To keep him safe and that he would find him alive and unscathed.

''Bran, this is not the end goal of our search,'' he told his cub and he tugged him into his lap and let him sniff at the cloak.

''Find Cris, we still haven't found him yet. Come along now!'' he urged and Bran blinked his eyes at him, obviously wondering why Leo was not more content with his findings.

Leo knew he was being unreasonable, expecting too much from their cubs.

For wolves and dogs it was hard to find anyone when snow was covering the earth. It stifled their noses and crippled the scent.

If Cris would have been here he would have scolded Leo for being too hard on them, but Leo had no choice.  
Need and despair nearly drove him mad.

Bran walked forward and surveyed the area around the cottage, barking loud when Leo lost sight of him.  
He bound Moire to a tree and ran toward the echoing shouts of the wolf.

In the snow at the far side of the house, he saw two men laying in the snow.

One of them was Cris, he could recognize the features of his body even with this little light.

Leo let out a muffled cry and ran forward to his broken friend, who was laying face down into the white blanket of ice.

The other one was the blacksmith, the Briton who Leo knew from earlier encounters.

A dagger was sticking out of his neck, the same one Leo had given Cris a few hours ago.

The smith was dead, that much was for certain but Leo and the cubs only had eyes for Cris.

There was blood smeared all over his beautiful face and his breeches were pulled down to his knees, revealing his tanned buttocks, which seemed to be covered with blood.

''Oh no, please,'' Leo cried out as he fell in the snow beside Cris, feeling a pulse in the older man's neck which relieved him tremendously, despite the fact that it was very weak.

''I have a heartbeat,'' he choked out to the cubs, who were pressing their gray heads and paws against Cris' arms, begging him to arise.

Leo stared at the blood on Cris' lower back and thighs and images of the smith raping Cris surged through his head, sickening him, making his knees weak with fury.  
That the foul animal of a man had taken what was not his to take.

Leo knew that Cristiano was still a virgin when it came to making love to men and the thought that this brute had forcedly taken what was suppose to be _his_  nearly destroyed him.

Cris had deserved a better first time with a man, a gentler one.

With a man who _loved_ him for who he was, not because he was just another pretty face in the crowd.

Leo would have gladly given that to him, would have taken his sweet time exploring Cris' beautiful body, indulging willingly in his every need and desire.

He would have done everything Cris desired from him to make certain that his first time was loving, warm and special and something he would remember forever.

Not something he would wake up to in the middle of the night whenever he had an nightmare and it all came screaming back to him. 

But the gods however seemed to know no mercy.

For they had Cristiano endure the same wretched first time as Leo had endured as a youngster.

Being raped until he was raw and bloody.

Cris had deserved so much better than this.

Leo unbuckled his own cloak and pressed the fabric over Cris' back, covering him as best as he could, knowing that warmth and dignity were vital to his friend's survival.

He reached his hand to Cris and touched his forehead, stroking his cheek gentle.

''Cris, _please_ wake up. I'm here now. We are all here to take you home. You're safe,'' Leo said, voice trembling with held back tears.

Bran, Maeve and Conor had settled in against Cris' side, licking his stone cold hands and whimpering soft.

Leo laid down in the snow besides them, ignoring the icy feeling and pressed his face against Cris', wrapping his arms around him as tight as he could.  
He nudged Cris to his side so that he could hold him better and kissed the top of Cris' head, just below his hair.

''Cris, you have to wake up now, we need to get home. It's not safe to stay here.  
I told you this so many times, why won't you ever listen to me?  
You should not have gotten into town today. You _stubborn_ old ox,'' Leo murmured, digging his fingers a bit tighter into Cris' muscled back.

He slid his hands down and got ahold of Cris' breeches, slowly tugging them upward as far as he could, attempting to give him some of his dignity back, but the heavy body was so lifeless that it was a lost cause.

''Cris?'' he begged, clasping onto his friend's cheeks with both his hands.

 _ **''Cris!!!''** _ he almost yelled but there came no response. Hot desperate tears were landing on his cheeks and Leo buried his face in the nook of Cris' neck, sobbing loud.

''Please don't leave me alone in this world, I cannot-make it- without you by my side,'' Leo stammered and he pressed another kiss to Cris' cold cheek.

He stared upward, gazing at the star filled heavens and a deep seethed anger that he had never felt before took ahold of his heart.

''How dare you take him away from me!!!'' he yelled at the gods, screaming so heart wrenched that the cubs nearly jumped in fear. ''He was all I had left and you had to do this to him! How could you do that to him! And to me!!! I _love_ him!!!''

The heavens gave no response whatsoever and Leo sniffed loud, cursing the gods under his breath.

His father had been right when he told him years ago that the gods did not have any mercy, which was why they were the gods.

They could do whatever they liked, regardless of the consequences.

The gods did not care about anyone but themselves and their own problems.

Leo suddenly remembered why he never prayed anymore. No answers were ever given by the gods.

No words of comfort, no mercy on the weak or the people he loved.  
He hated the gods with all his heart.

If Cris died, Leo would never believe in them again, nor pray to them for anything.  
Leo saw two hooded figures coming in his direction and quickly veered up from the snow.

''Can you help me please, I need to get him onto my horse, he is injured,'' he asked and the figures moved closer to him, carrying torches that illumined their faces.

They were Romans that Leo recognized from the village and he sighed relieved.

''Yes we will help you, Gaius can you take his legs, I will take his arms. Bring your horse slave,'' the older man ordered and Leo did as he was told, walking toward the tree where he had bound Moire and lead her back to the men.

Leo told Moire to kneel before them so the Romans could lift Cris onto her back and they slumped him sideways over her broad back.

His face and legs were dangling into the air and his stomach was the only part of him that touched her body.

''That does not look very comfortable for him,'' Leo scolded the men, who snorted loud and shrugged nonchalant.

''He's on it, isn't he?'' one of them bristled harshly and Leo sighed. Before he could say another word the men vanished back into the dark once again and Leo was left alone with Cris.

The cubs suddenly started barking behind Leo and he twisted his head to see why they were panicking. A large man was standing behind him, larger than any other man he had ever seen in his life.

He wore a black hood over his face and looked threatening. ''Who are you? What do you want?'' Leo asked nervously but the man did not reply.

He slowly walked forward to Leo but Bran stepped in his way, barking and hissing at the man, not caring about his towering height of obviously predominating strength.

Leo drew his sword and held it out, shivering slight, anticipation and fear gripping at his throat.

He had no clue as to who the man was or what he wanted from him.

Was the man out to get him?

Or was he after Cris?

Maeve suddenly barked at something behind his back and when Leo turned around to see what she was panicking about, a heavy fist landed against the back of his head and everything went dark.

The last thing he heard was the terrified cries of the cubs and Moire's overwhelming whinnying.

 

 

 

 

 

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Oh my gooood. That ending was not how I envisioned it at all. 
> 
> And yes another cliffhanger...
> 
> Please don't kill me. 
> 
> I promise it will all make sense soon. I will update this quickly, since I have the weekend off.  
> So you won't have to wait too long. 
> 
> Hope you guys liked it, let me know <3


	18. Two stories.

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> We find out what happened to Cris and later on where Leo has been taken to.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So this is the first chapter where I'm using both their POV's in one chapter. 
> 
> We start with Cris and end with Leo. 
> 
> Leo is in for quite a bit of a shock. 
> 
> Cris argues with his uncle.
> 
> This is getting to be a beast of a story, I'm already on 80.000 words and nowhere near done.  
> But I'm loving every minute of it.

_Cristiano_.

 

 

 

Cristiano found himself running through an open field, panting deep and struggling for his life.  
His bad leg was slowing him down severely and he struggled to keep his pace steady.

Leo was standing across the field from him, a large man behind him with a knife to his throat.  
A man who looked quite a lot like the blacksmith from the village.

As Cris closed in on Leo, he saw that their cubs were laying dead near Leo's feet, their throats slid, their poor bodies bathing in a pool of dark blood.

Leo stood in front of the smith, face pale but calm and assuring as ever, but Cris noticed the drops of blood that were dripping down along the pale skin under his neck.

''Leo!!! Hold on, I'm coming!'' Cris yelled but Leo did not reply.

He sighed and smiled at Cris, an almost evil smirk that told Cris that something was not quite right with him.

''Do not bother,'' he said when Cris was finally standing a few feet away from him, ''I knew from the start that you would let me down.  
You are not _strong_ enough to protect me and you never were. Look at you limping over here, you cannot even run properly.

You're pathetic. My sister was right: you're useless,'' Leo mocked and he spat in the mud, a few inches away from Cris' feet. His lips aligned and he bared his teeth at Cris. ''I should have killed you when I had the chance,''

Cris felt his shoulders slump and he swallowed his tears away. Leo's words had cut through him like a dagger.

The smith behind Leo suddenly vanished into the mist and Leo was left on his own, standing a few paces away from Cris, dagger still in his hand.

''I would rather _die_ than to ever be your little whore,'' Leo lashed out.

''But you would _never_ be my whore!'' Cris argued passionately as he slowly moved forward, worried not to startle Leo. ''You would be my _lover_ , not my whore,''

Leo huffed sarcastic. ''Your lover? Do you even hear yourself you stupid Roman! I have no desire to ever be your lover. Your father killed my family. I _hate_ you with all my heart!''

Cris shut his eyes and took a deep breath. ''No you do not, you love me,''

Leo's eyes narrowed dangerously and he bristled. ''In your dreams Roman,'' he pressed the dagger closer to his skin and Cris panicked.

He lunged forward to grab the dagger from Leo, but it was already too late.

Leo had placed the blade against his neck and sliced his own throat with one single movement.

Rivers of blood gushed over Leo's hands and he fell down in the grass, bleeding out quickly. Cris fell as this feet, suppressing a scream and cradled Leo in his arms.

''No, no, no...how could you do this to me!!!''  
''Because...I am my...father's son,'' Leo replied before shutting his eyes forever.

Cristiano screamed and flew up in his bed.

Apparently he was back in his own dark chambers. A few candles were burning on the table and the fire was crackling in the hearth.

The aftershocks of his nightmare were finally ebbing away, but he noticed that his entire body was drenched in cold sweat and that he was quivering beyond control.

Two pair of blue eyes were staring at him worriedly.

A familiar warm soothing voice spoke to him. ''Calm down Cristiano, you are quite safe now, it was merely a bad dream,''

Cris groaned and nodded acknowledging and asked: ''uncle, what...happened?''

Stephanos moved to the kettle to get him some tea and his uncle cleared his throat, as if the subject pained him somehow.

The wolf cubs were laying on his blanket, staring up at him with their yellow and blue eyes and they licked his hand as soon as they saw him come to his senses.

Cris pulled them into his lap, groaning at the raging headache he got from sitting up too soon, and held them tight to his chest, kissing all three of them, feeling so amazingly relieved to see them alive and well.

''How are you feeling son?'' uncle Aquila rasped as he placed a warm hand to his nephew's forehead.

''All right I guess, bit of a headache but otherwise I'm fine-I think. What by all the gods happened?'' he asked confused, having barely any memory of where he had been the past few hours.

''How much do you remember?'' the old man asked sharp. Stephanos handed Cris a cup of tea which he drank slowly.

''Not much, merely that I was going to the village to get some errands and to sharpen my sword.  
After I got to the blacksmith it is basically blank in my memory I'm afraid. Wait: _where is Leo?_ Why isn't he here?'' Cris asked stern, the absence of his friend's much needed presence gripping at his heart.

He needed to see Leo, especially after his terrifying dream.

He needed to get confirmation with the real Leo that he did not hate him or thought he was useless.

Stephanos and his uncle exchanged a couple of worried glances and his uncle shook his head at the old man, who disappeared back into the kitchens.

The old soldier sat down at Cris' bed and took his hand into his own. ''You must remember that whatever I tell you, it is vital for you to stay _calm_. Can you do that for me?''

Cris eyes his uncle cautiously and squinted his painful eyes. ''I guess,''

''You went into the town today, like you remember, to run some errands.  
But apparently you have forgotten that you were attacked along the way. I do not know by whom, so do not ask me for I was not there to see it happen,''

''The blacksmith attacked me, I remember that,'' Cris said.

His uncle nodded solemnly and continued. ''However when you had not arrived back home when night fell Leo knew that something was amiss and he told me that he wanted to go and look for you.

I protested of course, telling him that it was too dangerous to go by himself, but he took Moire and your wolves with him and demanded that I stayed here for he did not want to concern himself with protecting me while he was out looking for you.

So I stayed behind to wait for you two to come back, but only you returned, unfortunately.  
Moire was carrying you on her back and apparently she had remembered her way home, but Leo was nowhere to be found,'' his uncle choked out, biting his lip nervously as his nephew exploded in a mixture of fury and fear.

''YOU LET HIM GO BY HIMSELF!!! AND NOW HE IS MISSING???'' Cristiano shouted, hands gripping at his sheets to prevent himself from launching himself at his uncle to strangle him.

This could not be happening to him, not after everything that they had been through. He could not lose Leo, he would rather die.

''I thought I told you to stay _calm_ son, you can shout at me all you like, but it will not bring Leo back to you,''  
Cris pounded his fists into the blanket and screamed into his pillow, releasing a wail so loud and heart wrenched that he scared himself.

''I'm going to find him,'' he announced and he removed the blankets from his body and wanted to slip out of the bed.

His uncle however nudged him back into the soft pillows.

''You are not going anywhere tonight young man. When Moire brought you back home I thought you were dead. You were slumped over her back, blood smeared all over your lower back and legs. I thought you had been raped, or worse.

Turns out that thankfully it was _not_ your blood that was being shed that night. You seem to be unharmed, except for the large bruise on the side of your head.  
But it would be safer for you not to move around too much, you might have a concussion,''

''Do you think I care about a little headache! I have to find Leo! He's out there, all alone, he might be dead in a ditch somewhere! I'm not leaving him to his fate! He is still _mine_ to protect,''

''And where exactly do you want to go and search for him? Hm? You have no leads on who took him, or why,'' his uncle reasoned and Cris pursed is lips together angrily and snorted.

''But I might know where to start looking,'' the old man continued and a small shard of hope nestled itself in Cris' heart.

''Do you? Where?''

''Well it is merely a hunch, but I have a feeling that this has all been a trap. That the smith only attacked you to lure Leo to the town. I fear that Leo was the true object of their plan and that you were merely bait.  
I always did my best to hide Leo's true identity from the Briton workers in town, but I fear that someone discovered who he was despite his alias and disguises,''

''But who would want to take him? And why would his own people abduct him?'' Cris asked sheepishly and his uncle chuckled sarcastic.

''You have a _brain_ Cristiano, why don't you use it? He is the last remaining son of the Brigantes tribe.  
If anyone would recognize him, they might try to take him in to start another rebellion against the Romans, with him as their leader. Look around you son, our people are leaving this island.

The list of enlisted soldiers who guard the wall is growing thinner each day.  
Now is their time to strike back at us, now that we are at our weakest. They still desire revenge over what happened to your family. 

My old friends near the wall tell me that the Romans are leaving these shores swiftly now, never to return.

Rome seems to have finally realized that this island is nothing to them but trouble.  
The Britons will never let this opportunity pass if they can help it, they will try to force us away from their land. And Leo is the perfect man for that task now isn't he?''

Cris shook his head wearily. ''Leo would _never_ turn on us, he made me a promise,''

''A promise? He is a _slave_. He does what he does, and promises what he does because he has to. His vows mean nothing once he is reunited with his own kin,''

A tear rolled down Cristiano's cheek and he pulled his knees up, pressing his face in his arms, sobbing soft.

His uncle's hand touched his and the old man sighed deep.

''Listen to me: I know that you love him, and I also know that Leo is not indifferent toward you when it comes to his own feelings, but I fear that we will not see Leo again.

Perhaps it is best to forget about him, despite your growing affection to him, he was still an enemy Cristiano.  
That would have never changed, despite the intense feelings that resided between you two.

When reality would hit you both, you would have to go your own way. And your place is here with me, as a proper Roman man and his place is with his own people.

They will retake these lands and I am glad for them for they deserve their freedom more than anyone.  
But you need to stop living in a dreamworld.

Do you honestly think that you are the first Roman who ever fell for their slave? It happens all the time my dear boy, and I have never heard of a story where the slave remained at their side once they had won their freedom.

They will tell you whatever you want to hear but once they are free, they are gone. What makes you think that Leo would not do the same to you?''

''He wouldn't, Leo is different from all of them,''

''That is what all those Romans before you thought about their own lovers as well, and they all ended up betrayed, bitter and alone,''

''Think what you like uncle, my decision is final: I'm _not_ abandoning him. Tell Stephanos to prepare a few meals for me to bring with me. I ride out in a few hours, at first light,''

''I'm not letting you go son,''

''That is not your choice, and I am not _your_ son. I am my father's son and seeing how I am an adult I can do whatever I like. And I am bringing him home despite of your agreeing to it or not. I am not injured and I am strong enough to ride, I will rest a few hours now and will depart the moment the sun rises.

I am taking Moire because she is Leo's horse, which makes her my horse as well.  
Your opinion on all of this does not interest me uncle.

I am not leaving Leo behind, _I love him._ You do not walk away from the people you love,'' Cris said stubbornly and his uncle slumped his shoulder down and sighed.

''Well at least that is one quality you and Leo do have in common, you are both stubborn pains in my behind. By the gods how did you get to be so hard headed,''

Cristiano smiled briefly. ''I do not know uncle, I guess it is a family treat isn't it?''

His uncle patted him on the shoulder and pressed him back into his pillows, cradling his arms with his hands. ''Get some rest now, you will need it before you ride out tomorrow morning,''

''Thank you uncle, tell Stephanos to wake me at first light please,'' Cristiano said, feeling very relieved his uncle was no longer attempting to stop him.  
''Oh and Cristiano,'' his uncle said when he had his hand on the door handle. ''Yes uncle?''

''He is lucky to have you,'' the old man said and Cris felt a blush creep over his cheeks. ''Thank you uncle,''  
When his uncle left he pulled the blanket over his exhausted body and felt the cubs climbing over the blanket so that they could sleep in the safety of his arms.

Maeve was crying out soft and desperate and Cris' heart broke when he saw Conor and Bran licking her fur to soothe her.

She had been Leo's cub, and now that he was gone she felt so lost without him. Cris could relate to her pain, for he felt miserable himself.

As if all the air had vaporized in his lungs and he was drowning on dry land.  
He kissed the cubs on their soft heads and held them to his chest.

''Do not worry sweethearts, I will find him. I promise you that. Even if it takes me until my last day on this earth, I will find him. We will be a _family_ , somewhere, somehow, someday,''

 

 _Leo_.

 

 

When Leo finally regained consciousness, the first thing he noticed when he opened his eyes was that he was covered with a black hood and that his hands were tightly bound behind his back.

The second thing was that he heard a fire crackling nearby.  
He could tell by the chilly temperature that wherever he was, he was still outdoors and probably somewhere in the wild.

The smell of pine trees, a running water nearby and a root sticking into his back told him that he was far away from the village.

By the gods, how could he have been this _stupid_ to walk into a trap?

For the moment he saw the man coming at him he had realized that they had only attacked Cris to lure him into their arms.

Poor Cristiano had merely been bait, like a lamb that was being brought to the slaughter.

He wondered if Cris was still alive or if his captors had killed him when they lead Leo back to their lair.

Whoever had taken him had known that Leo would come to his master's rescue.

And Leo had been dumb enough to react exactly like his captors had predicted he would.

He coughed twice to let the other men know he was awake and the woolen hood was being ripped off his throbbing head.

A large, clearly Briton man, was standing in front of him, eyes dark and threatening and his hair long, thick and black.

Two axes were tugged in his buckle and his presence made it instantly clear to Leo that escaping, or attempting to escape was not an option.

''Where is Cristiano? What did you do to him?'' Leo demanded to know.

He couldn't care less about his own fate at the moment, the only thing that concerned him was that Cris had returned home safely. And the cubs...those poor cubs.

And what about Moire?  
Had his beloved horse not suffered through enough horrors already?

He gave a silent prayer to his gods that they had not killed them.

''You mean your master?'' the man said in Gaelic and he smiled at another man who sat behind Leo, who remained unseen to his sight for now.

''Yes my master,'' Leo nodded, heart pounding in his chest.

''Why do you care what we did to him? Wouldn't you be pleased to hear that he is dead, that we have freed you from his chains?'' the man asked and Leo felt an involuntary shiver go over his spine.

He felt incredibly cold, colder than he had ever felt before in his life.

His nerves were crippling him, an iron fist was clenching at his heart.

 _''Did you-kill him?''_ he asked breathlessly, sounding almost pleading.

The man gazed at the man behind Leo and exchanged a few silent glances that told Leo nothing helpful.

''No we did not kill him, we are not that foolish Leo. We might be outcasts but we are not suicidal. His uncle remains quite a powerful man who has many friends in Rome,''

''How do you even know my name? I used an alternate one whenever I came to the village,''

''You were recognized as the last remaining son of Cunoval, lord of five-hundred spears. Apparently you look just like him,''

''I do not look _anything_ like my wretched father,'' Leo hissed, clenching his jaw furiously.

''Nevertheless you are still his son, his only living son after the battles that nearly destroyed our land. You are the one who will lead us in our final siege against the Romans. You will help us drive them back to Rome,''

Leo felt his breath hitch when the true meaning of their plan was being revealed onto him. They wanted to use him for his family name. He was to be their parade horse to inspire his people to revolt against Rome one final time.

He took a deep breath, steadying himself the best he could. ''I will not!''

The other man was clearly thrown of balance by his answer for a moment, but he regained his neutral mask in a split second. ''Yes you will, it is your birthright Leo, we need you on our side if you want to win this war,''

''What war? The war has long been over,''

''And yet we are still not _free_ now are we? We still remain their slaves and yes they might be leaving these shores in larger numbers lately but that is no guarantee that they won't come back.  
We need to reveal our real strength and unity to them, terrify them so much that they will never dream of coming here again. We cannot do that without you at our side as a symbol of courage and as the bearer of strength and wisdom,''

''I have no cause to be anyone's parade horse for your cursed wars. Besides: if you simply let the Romans go home peace will return to our land, however if you chase them off the island, murdering them by the dozens, Rome will come back.  
They will want revenge on you. In your attempts to regain peace and justice for our people you will start a new war. One that you will not be able to win. It does not matter to me regardless, I just want to go back to my masters house,''

''Have you grown soft, Leo son of Cunoval? Can it be true what they whisper then? You fell in love with your master when he saved you in the arena? Is that true?''

Leo stared at the man, burying his eyes deep into his until he man looked away from his steely glance. He spat out: ''So what if it is?''  
''And over him you betray your own family? Your country?''

''My family is dead! I have a new family now. There is nobody from my old family left to dishonor,''  
''Nobody except your sister, Isbeil,''

''How do you know about her fate?''  
''We have spies all over this town little boy,''

''I'm not a little boy anymore, I became a man the day the Romans took me for a slave,''

''What sort of a man lets a Roman cage him like a common dog?  
He must have fucked you right to make you fall so in love with his cock that you can no longer recognize friend from foe,'' the man snapped and Leo was suddenly glad for his bound wrists otherwise he would have strangled the man with his bare hands for his blasted words.

''How _dare_ you! He never touched me like that! Not once!''

''And you regret that now don't you?'' the man barked out, leaning in closer to Leo's face so that his forehead was nearly touching Leo's. ''Don't you?!'' he repeated.

 **''YES I REGRET IT!!!** Is that what you want to hear?!'' Leo screamed, spraying drops of saliva in the man's face. ''Does that answer satisfy you! Does it?!''

''Not particularly, do you want him?'' the man asked the stranger, sitting behind Leo's back and the man must have nodded for his interrogator left them alone and walked out of Leo's sight to stand guard.

It felt odd to Leo, but somehow now that he had confessed his true feelings for Cris, he felt so much lighter and more calm. As if the truth had set him free.

Admitting that he wanted Cris in his bed should have felt strange, awkward even, but yet Leo felt relieved.

He promised himself that if he ever saw Cris again, the first thing he would do was take him into his arms and to finally take what he had wanted all along.

He wanted Cris, needed him and there was nothing wrong with that.  
What anyone thought about it did not matter to him anymore.

His father's hateful voice was finally being silenced in his head. ''You love for that Roman will destroy you,'' The words were no longer echoing in Leo's ears.

He realized the truth now, and the strange truth was that his love for his Roman would save him, not destroy him.

The heart always wanted what it shouldn't want and Cris was the last person that Leo could allow himself to fall in love with, but somehow it had happened.  
A long time ago.

Maybe on the same day when their eyes had met in that arena and Cris had saved his life for no reason whatsoever, besides the fact that he saw and admired the courage in Leo's heart.

The man behind Leo moved closer and sat down before him, face covered by the darkness and the hood that was cradling over his features.

This man was even taller than the other one had been and his shoulders were broad and sturdy.

His chest was the size of a wine barrel, riddled with muscles Leo could see through his tunic.

He had a whole arsenal of weapons tugged away in his belt and Leo noticed the two daggers that he had hidden in the fur around his feet.

''Who are you?'' Leo asked boldly, getting tired of waiting around for the man to speak.

The man remained silent but he got to his feet, closed the distance to Leo and cut his hands free with one of his daggers.

''You should not have done that,'' Leo warned him and the stranger let out an amused chuckle.

The voice was deep and rasping and so familiar that Leo felt his shocked heartbeat pumping in his ears.

The man sat back on the rock across from Leo and pulled his hood backward, revealing his scarred face.

The carved out bear totem was clenched in his large, tattoo riddled hand, he must have taken it from Leo when he took him captive.

Leo's heart stopped and his stomach turned upside down.

''Why? Are you going to kill me little one?''

Leo's insides turned to ice. He knew that voice, he would recognize it anywhere.

The face however was different from the one he remembered, a large cut like scar was draped from the left side of his face to the right.

But it were his eyes and wavy, long chestnut hair that told him that his eyes had not deceived him.

 _''Bran?''_ Leo choked out, almost too shocked to say anything.

His eldest brother stood up, kneeled in front of Leo and placed a warm hand on top of his and smiled. ''Yes, it is me. I know this is quite a shock to you and I am sorry for that, but-''

Leo rose to his feet and wrapped his arms around his brother's body, holding onto his broad back as tight as he could.

Bran's muscled arms came across his small body and he suppressed a small sob when Leo's forehead buried itself against his shoulder.

''Oh by the gods, I have missed you little one,'' Bran exclaimed, tension releasing from his soul with a large exhale and he stroked his hand through Leo's hair.

That comment came as a surprise to Leo.

Bran had never been the most sensitive of his brothers, nor the one who was particularly good with expressing his feelings to anyone, but he could tell that Bran had changed a lot.

This was one of the first hugs he had ever given Leo, besides the few hugs he had gotten when he had been a very small child.

''I missed you too, but _how_ are you still alive?'' Leo mumbled, voice muffled by the heaving chest against his lips.  
Bran loosened his grip on Leo and gazed into his eyes.

''It is quite a long story little one,''  
''I have time,'' Leo offered and Bran snorted amused and sat Leo down next to him on the cold rocks.

''I am sorry for misleading you when my friend interrogated you but I had to know what you were like first. Would you like some tea?'' Bran asked with a nod to the pot that dangled over the fire and he poured them two cups of nettle tea.

''Yes, thank you,'' Leo said, always remembering to stay polite, despite his shock.

He took a sip of his tea, burning his tongue like he always did and that small familiar custom made him miss Cris' more than ever, for he always had a cup of water standing by for him to cool him off. 

''You're welcome. Well to tell you the truth, Conor saved me,'' Bran started and Leo's eyes moistened with held back tears.

No he would not cry, not in front of his eldest brother. The one who was the strongest of his family and apparently the only survivor.

''He did?'' he asked and Bran hummed as he took a sip of his tea.

''Hmm yes, the battle against the Romans lasted very long little brother, so long that even Scathach became tired,'' he said, referring to his large war horse. ''There was a moment when I lost my guard due to exhaustion and a Roman came up behind me with his sword raised to kill me.

Conor rode by on his horse and shot him with his bow and arrow.  
Another Roman officer retaliated by throwing his sword into Conor's back.

I slid his throat for that. I should have protected Conor, and the rest of our brothers. I failed them all little one.

I was not strong enough to save them.

Another Roman cut his dagger across my face and I got stabbed in my side a few times, but for some reason I survived that hellhole, being cursed to lie there unable to move, watching our brothers die one by one.

I can see them with my waking eyes. I can still hear their screams echoing in my head. Their ghosts will never stop blaming me for letting them down.  
You are not so impressed with me now aren't you?

Your _pathetic_ eldest brother Bran, mighty descendent from the war god Fingal himself, not even strong enough to protect his own family, his divine power leaving him stripped bare of everything he once held dear.

What a poor story it makes,'' Bran's eyes were dripping with hot tears, his fist clenched together and Leo moved closer to him, pressing his body against his brother's side and he placed his head against the sturdy shoulder.

''Stop talking like this Bran, you _are_ strong, you always have been.  
You made it out of there alive and our brothers and our father died. That was not your fault.  
It was the will of the gods. We are merely the pawns of their amusement.  
Our fates are already set in stone, there is nothing that you could have done. It was their time to die and you were meant to live on,'' he ensured him and he took Bran's hand in his own, holding it tight.

Bran offered him a sad glance. ''You sound _exactly_ like Conor, he always believed in the gods,''

''And you and I never did, remember how he always tried to convince us that they were real, driving us mad with his preaching,'' Leo chuckled and Bran nodded.

''Of course I do, I remember it almost too well,''  
''How did you escape the battlefield when you were injured?'' Leo suddenly wanted to know and Bran shot him a warm gaze.

''That silly old horse of mine found me, she helped me get on her back and walked me back to one of our neighbor clans in the south.

They helped me heal but I moved further south to the wall when I felt well enough, hoping to find you and other remaining survivors of our family in the nearby villages.

A few months ago I finally found you and Isbeil, unfortunately I could not reach her in any way before she was being shipped off to Rome.  
I saw you walking around in the village a couple weeks ago. I work there as a trader sometimes, and I saw you going into the butcher's shop.

It was such a relief to see you alive and well. But when I heard you were taken for a slave by the son of the same man who killed most of our brothers, I devised a plan to get you out of his grasp.

Not realizing that you apparently had no desire to get away from him. I had heard the rumors of course, people whispering that you had fallen for your master but I chose not to believe such filth,''

Leo's eyes narrowed sharply and he clasped onto Bran's cheek, forcing his brother to look him in the eyes.  
''Tell me: did you tell your blacksmith friend to rape him too?'' he choked out, barely able to breath from the held back tension.

He _had_ to know, even if the answer would haunt him forever.

Bran stared confused into Leo's brown eyes. ''Rape him? No I never gave him such orders. If he did that, he did not do that on my command,''  
Leo let out a breath of air and sniffed deep, preventing his tears from rolling down his cheeks.

Bran continued slowly. ''I only told him to knock him out and to hold him captive near his cottage, to lure you out.  
I knew that you would come for him, even if you did not love him. For he was your master and as his body slave it was your task to ensure his safety. My plan was solid, it just had one large flaw,''

''Yes, the fact that I am not willing to go to war with you and fight against Cristiano,'' Leo agreed and his brother nodded stern.  
''Indeed, I also had not counted on your master carrying a hidden dagger on his body, which he used to kill the smith,''

''I gave that to him,'' Leo snarled and Bran sighed.  
''I should have known,''

''Where are we?'' Leo asked suddenly and Bran shrugged.  
''A few miles from Calleva, why?''

''You realize that Cris will come looking for me right? He will use our little wolves to track my scent.  
They will find me and you better hope I can stop him in time, for if he sees my captors, he will not hesitate to slid both your throats,'' Leo warned, knowing that he was bluffing quite a bit.

Even if Cris had not been raped, which he sincerely hoped was true, he would still never be able to beat Bran and his large friend in a battle.

Cris was good, but Bran was a far more experienced soldier who had the advantage of being able to use both his legs properly.

Cris could never win that fight.  
Therefore Leo had to try something else, to keep both his brother and the man he loved safe.

''He can try to kill us little one, with that leg of his, he won't come far,'' Bran assured him and Leo paled involuntarily.

''Please let me go back to him,'' he begged.

''And why would I do that?''

''Because there is no need to go to war against the Romans! They are leaving these shores by the hundreds.  
They will be gone from our land in a few months, you just have to be patient! Britain will be ours again, but if you start a war, they will never leave.

There will come more of them and they will kill us all.  
Come with me to the Aquila estate, you and the old man can negotiate a truce. Please...do not force me to choose between someone that I love and my own blood,'' Leo begged.

''Because you will choose him, will you not? You would choose your cursed master over your own brother?''

''It is not a choice brother, we do not get to choose who we love. And I do not ever want to make that choice, not now that I've finally found you again. I cannot lose you, but I also won't lose him,''

Bran ruffled another hand through Leo's thick brown hair and smiled gently at him.  
''All right, for your sake I will take you back to your villa and discuss a truce with your lover's uncle,''

Leo ignored the urge to tell Bran that Cris was not his lover and nodded instead.  
''Thank you brother,''

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So this was rather long, but I'm satisfied with the result I think. 
> 
> I still have to edit it for typos and to see if it is good enough, so forgive the first mistakes please. 
> 
> Big shocker: Bran is also still alive. I had not really planned on that to happen honestly but I thought: why not?  
> Leo never actually saw his family's dead bodies so he never knew for certain that they were dead. 
> 
> I hope you guys are pleased with the fact that this one doesn't have a cliffhanger. Let me know what you thought about this! I hope this makes you happy <3
> 
> What I wanted to say with this chapter was that both Leo and Cris are kind of being forced back to reality by their own people. Cris is getting a reality check from his uncle, who tells him that he needs to stop being a dreamer and wake up to the real world and Bran does the same to Leo. But I wanted to show that they will not break under the pressure. They keep the faith in each other and in their bond. That for me was the most important point I wanted to make. That they will not let anyone get between them. I hope I got that across. 
> 
> I wanna thank everyone for the continuing support on this story, I'm grateful for every kudos, every read and each note.  
> You guys are the best!


	19. Let it snow, let it snow.

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Leo talks some more with Bran and his strange friend. 
> 
> Decisions are made.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Sorry for not updating this faster guys, but I've been busy. 
> 
> This is not as long as the other stuff but I hope you guys like it anyway.
> 
> It's a bit of a filler, but I hope you guys like it. I wanted to give Bran some more depth.

_Leo_.

 

 

 

The sun had barely come up the following morning, when Bran had made it clear that he wanted to move to the villa as quickly as possible.

Leo was utterly relieved to hear it, for he was desperately yearning to see Cris and his animals again.

He had slept against his brother's side that night, the sentiment of being so close to him again overwhelming him with a certain calmness that brought his troubled mind some much needed rest.

Bran had handed Leo some hard old bread and and apple for breakfast but Leo was not particularly hungry.

He was still weary toward his brother's silent companion and deep down he just wanted to go home.

''Does _he_ have to come with us?'' Leo whispered, eyeing the sturdy interrogator who lowered himself on his large brown horse.

''You do not like him,'' Bran noted as he hauled Leo in front of him onto his own horse, cradling his strong arm around Leo's chest.

''Not really no,'' Leo agreed and his brother chuckled light. ''I can hardly blame you little one, most of the times I do not even like him myself. But he is my friend and he has protected me through many hardships. I owe him my life in more ways than one,''

Leo narrowed his eyes and stared boldly at the large man, observing him slowly. ''What is his name?''

''My name is Otter, and you could just ask me instead of him,'' the man rasped and Leo cringed ashamed, heat rising to his cheeks.

He had clearly underestimated the man's sharp hearing. ''That _cannot_ be your real name,'' he replied and the man nodded slow.

''You're right, it is not my real name,''  
''Then what is?''

''I have forgotten my real name,'' Otter said and Leo snorted soft, folding his arms together.  
''How do you forget your own name? What-''

Bran made a hushing sound above him and gave Leo a warning gaze that told him to be silent. ''Forgive me, that was rather rude,'' Leo offered and Otter smirked at him, two of his side teeth absent from the smile.

When he smiled the rural man could almost be considered handsome.

His wavy dark hair was tied back and reached until his lower back and his eyes looked completely different in the warm morning light, softer and more radiant somehow.

They were dark blue, with a hint of brown near the irises and there was a hidden sparkle in them that made Leo grow even more curious to this man's history.

Otter was wearing thick layers of leather armor and his axes were tugged in his buckle.

A simple wooden bow and arrows were tight to his back and he had a large number of concealed weapons hidden away in his clothing.

''Yes it was quite rude. But it's all right, your boldness reminds me of your brother. He is exactly like you when he gets too curious for his own good,'' Otter teased and Bran gave him a foul look.

''Be quiet now my friend, no need to poison Leo's mind with your filthy words,'' he chided. Bran's voice was dark but the sparkle in his eyes betrayed his true feelings.

''How did you two even meet?'' Leo asked curiously and it was Otter who responded. ''That is a story for another time Leo,''

''Why? What are you hiding?'' Leo turned around to eye his brother who pretended that nothing was amiss but Leo knew him better than that.

Members of the Brigantes clan were _lousy_ liars. Always had been, always would be.

''Nothing, it is merely that it is a rather long story,'' Bran lied and Leo snorted.

''Well I've got nothing but time so it seems. It will take us a while to get to the villa so why won't you enlighten me?''

''The problem is that it is a rather boring story I'm afraid,'' Bran said, averting Leo's sharp eyes.

Leo sighed and decided to let it rest for now. ''Fine then, keep your secrets,''

''I want to tell you Leo, honestly, but now is not the right time,'' Bran mumbled.

''Very well. Can I ask you something else then brother?'' Leo mused as Bran forced his horse out of their shelter.

Otter followed them close behind, eyes constantly staring at their surroundings, to make certain they were safe.

''Of course,''

Leo gnawed on his lip, musing over which words were wise to utter and sighed deep. He chose his words very carefully, having no desire to anger his brother or to take him back to painful memories.

''Do you remember the end of the battle where our family died?''

''All too well, I'm afraid. I was barely conscious but I did see most of it. Why do you ask?'' Bran asked, breath hitching in his thick emotion.  
''Do you know what happened to the golden eagle standard the Roman's brought with them?''

''Yes I saw who took it, why?''

''Who took it?'' Leo asked, sounding almost pleading.  
''Why does it matter so much to you?''

''Just tell me who took it! Please...''

''The seal people stole it from the hands of your Roman's father. Last I saw, they were storming off with it. I figure they still have it.  
The seal people are very proud and would cherish a trophy like that forever if they could,'' Bran replied, clearly confused as to why it mattered to Leo at all.

Leo groaned. _Of course. The seal people. That was just his luck._

''Why does it even matter?'' Bran asked again and Leo sighed deep, biting on his lower lip so hard that he tasted the copper of his own blood.

Otter noticed his split lip and handed him a small, pretty foul looking cloth but Leo nodded thankful and accepted it, pressing the fabric to his lip.

The material was surprisingly soft.

''Because I promised Cris that I would help him retrieve it! He needs his honor back,''  
Behind them on his own horse, Otter burst out in a deep, heart felt laughter.

''He's an amusing lad I'll give him that,'' he chuckled as he rode closer and patted Leo's hair, so gentle and soothing it made Leo feel like a silly child who had done something wrong.

His hands were surprisingly tender for a man of his size.

Bran eyed Leo slowly, cupping his cheeks and turning his face to him. He was studying his face and forced Leo to look him in his eyes. ''He is not jesting Otter, my little brother is being dead serious about this, aren't you?'' he asked and Leo nodded slow.

''Yes, I made a _promise_ Bran. I promised to help him look for it,''

Bran raised his hands into the air, begging the gods for patience and he inhaled deep.

''By all the gods Leo, have you completely lost your mind!'' he groaned and his response reminded Leo instantly of how Isbeil had taken the same information.

''No! And if I do this for him, he will free me. He promised it,''

''For the love of god Leo, he is using you! Can't you see that? He is abusing your good will and your knowledge of the northern territory. If he wanted to free you, why would he wait this long?

You say he loves you so much and that you love him but what you refuse to see is that you are merely a useful toy to him. He needs you to retrieve his honor and once he does...you will end up disappointed.

You will discover that it was all a ruse to trick you into getting the eagle for him. It is not real Leo. Oh silly little brother,'' Bran mumbled and he stroked a few hairs from Leo's forehead and held him tighter to his chest.

Leo felt fury rise up in his chest and resisted the urge to slap his brother across his face for his cruel words. Bran could not have been more wrong about Cris. He had no idea what he was like.

Only Leo knew what went on in his Roman's head. The instant need to defend Cris against everyone who made a fool out of him took a hold of him and he started rambling before he could stop himself.

''Do not talk about him like that! He does not even treat me as a slave! I am his friend! He doesn't even make me wear the slave tablet anymore. If I asked him to set me free today he would do it without question.  
But I gave him my word brother, my word that I would help him get that blasted golden thing back to him and I tend to keep my vows. I'm a Brigantes after all! Once you meet him you will realize that you are completely wrong about him.  
He does care about me and we are going north as soon as the snow melts. Your opinion on the matter does not interest me!'' Leo hissed, folding his arms together.

Bran exchanged a few looks with Otter and gave his friend an affirming nod.

''Well if you are truly so _adamant_ on risking your life and I can't persuade you to desist this madness then I cannot let you go by yourself now can I? We will come with you and your Roman to protect you,''

For once, Leo was left speechless.  
His jaw dropped slowly and he stared at his elder brother with a mixture of amazement and protectiveness.

''No!!! I can't! You can't come with us!'' he shouted, his voice so loud that a couple of crows flew out of a nearby tree.

''Leo let's be realistic for once. You cannot attempt to survive the north without help and you know it. You need protection. Let us help you and your Roman,'' Bran mused, voice soft and soothing reminding Leo of all the times where he had rode on Bran's back as a child.

He could not have been older than three at the time.

The echoes of the memory were playing itself out in Leo's mind. 'Faster Bran, faster!' he heard himself shouting at him as he clenched onto his brother's back with his small body.

Leo had nearly forgotten that Bran used to take him onto his back when he had been a good boy, rewarding him with piggy back rides until both of them were so tired that they collapsed onto the grass and Leo fell asleep in Bran's comforting arms.

''Leo? What is it? You look like you have seen a ghost,'' Bran said and Leo forced himself out of their past and back into their present.  
''Nothing, I suddenly remembered something we used to do when I was little,''

Bran smiled soft and cradled him closer to his chest, stroking Leo's cheek with his cold fingers. ''What was it?''

''That you used to take me onto your back and that I made you run around for hours until I got tired.  
I had completely forgotten about that, I do not know why it suddenly came back to me. In my memory you were always such a hard and cold brother you know. But I realize now that I might have remembered everything quite wrong,''

''No you did not little one. I was hard on you, like I was on all of our brothers and sisters.  
But I only did that to protect you, because I wanted to harden you for the outside world.  
I knew that life would never be gentle on us as long as the Romans were around so I attempted to prepare you for them by training you to fight. But you were my weakness Leo,'' Bran admitted with a blush and Leo frowned confused. ''What do you mean?''

''When it came to you I had no defense whatsoever.  
You only had to give me that radiant giant smile of yours and I gave in to whatever you desired.

You changed the rules. Before you were born it was easy for me to maintain my elder brother status with the rest of them but when you came into my life everything changed.  
With a mere smile you captured my heart, but that took a while because you were a horrible baby at first,'' Bran mumbled and Leo raised his eyebrows.

''I was?''

''Oh yes, you used to cry all day and night, driving all of us insane with your screams. God we wanted to _strangle_ you.  
One night you would not shut up no matter what mother and Isbeil tried so I went to see you.  
I took you from your little crib and held you in my arms.

You opened your eyes to me and smiled. You had never smiled to anyone before that moment and in that instance you became quiet and fell asleep.

From that night on I took care of you when you needed to sleep and it worked for a while, until you became older and I distanced myself from you.

Not because I wanted to, but I had no choice. You made me weaker and I needed to be strong to rule our clan someday. I was his sole heir after all.

Father was so adamant on strength and power that I knew I had no choice. But distancing myself from you broke my heart a little Leo, which is why I tried to compensate by taking you for piggy back rides sometimes when father was away on a hunt.

Which is why I carved you that little bear you still carry with you. I am sorry for treating you so poorly. I tend to make it up to you in any way that I can now that I have finally found you again,'' Bran said and he pulled Leo close to his side, wrapping his large hand around his shoulder.

Leo felt so shocked that he nearly did not respond to his brother at first, the strangeness and confusion rolling over him in waves. This all sounded so...unbelievable.  
He placed his hand on Bran's and exhaled deep.

''So you tend on making it up to me by getting yourself killed to protect me?'' he asked sharply and Bran shrugged.

''I do not fear my own death Leo, the only thing I fear is not being able to protect the last person that I care about,''

''And what about Isbeil? She is still out there, somewhere, on her way to Rome,''

''I realize that. Unfortunately we could not get to her in time to free her. I had to let her go,'' Bran confessed, his eyes dark and sad.

''Does she even know you are still alive?''  
''No, not unless she is a mind reader,''

A sudden thought occurred in Leo's mind. ''But I thought you said that you had a rebellion to lead? Why would you want to come with me and Cris if you desire to push the Romans from our lands? And where is your army?''

''My army is _everywhere_ around you Leo, they live and work in Calleva and all the surrounding villages. We meet in secret a few times a month to convey about our plan of attack.  
But the Romans cannot suspect anything, which is why we have secret meetings with only one or two people, who spread the word to the others.  
It is not that easy to organize but it is doable.

Your words have made me realize that you might be right about the rebellion, that it might be wiser to wait until the Romans have left these shores. But I need to speak with your Roman's uncle first. He knows more than you and I combined,'' Bran explained as he spurred his horse into a slow gallop.

Otter followed them close behind, his blue eyes constantly going from north to south, and from east to west.

Leo had to hold on to the horse's neck for his position was anything but comfortable and steady and Bran tightened his grip on Leo's waist.

''Hold on, we need to hurry. It is not that far to the villa,''  
''Why do we need to hurry?'' Leo asked and Bran eyed the sky above them.

Dark, threatening clouds gathered quickly and Leo knew that a snowstorm was sure to follow.  
''Otter keep up will you!'' Bran ordered and the large man urged his horse into a quicker pace, giving her free rein.

They rode past the village and Leo recognized the surroundings, knowing it was not far to the estate now.  
His heart started beating eagerly in his chest.

He had not seen Cris in a while and he felt as anxious as he was excited. He had told himself to no longer deny his true feelings for Cris, which brought certain insecurities with it.

The white walls of the villa came into sight when the first snowflakes started falling down and Bran urged his horse through the front gates.  
Leo jumped off the horse, not really counting on its towering hight and twisting his ankle in the process and stormed through the front doors.

''CRIS!!! Anybody here!'' he shouted desperately. The first person who emerged from the kitchen was Stephanos.

''Oh my dear boy, thank the gods that you are all right,'' the Greek murmured and he wrapped Leo into a tight embrace, which he struggled to escape.

''Thank you, I'm quite all right. I assure you,''  
''Who are they?'' the old man asked with a nod to Bran and Otter.

''This is my brother Bran and his companion called Otter,'' Leo pointed and Stephanos nodded slow.  
''Good to meet you, I had no knowledge that Leo still had a living brother actually,''

''Because I did not know so myself Stephanos,'' Leo explained as he patted the old man on the back.

''Well bless the gods for returning you safely to us,'' Stephanos rasped. 

''Leo you're back!'' uncle Aquila exclaimed and as Leo turned around to greet his master the old man flew forward to pull him into a tight embrace that nearly knocked Leo off his feet.

The gesture surprised Leo immensely.

He had known that the old man liked him, but a hug was not something he had ever expected from him.  
''Are you all right my boy?''

''Yes domine, I'm fine. This is my brother and-''  
''I heard, you two are very welcome in my house,'' the old man said friendly but a doubt and concern was clearly gnawing at him.

''Thank you sir,'' Bran said politely.

''Domine? Where is Cris? I really need to see him,'' Leo asked and the old man stared so nervously at him that Leo had to remember himself to breathe.

''He is not here Leo, he went out looking for you hours ago,'' uncle Aquila said, eyes foggy with held back tears.

''He what?!!'' Leo cried out, despair and terror eating at him. Gods of course Cris had left to look for him.

Only Cris would do something as stupid and reckless as that.

To be fair, Leo would have done the same if the situation had been reserved, in fact he _had_ done the same thing for him and he would again.

''He rode out on Moire's back to find you at first light,''

''Did he take the cubs with him?'' Leo asked but the old man shook his head.  
''No they are still here, he did not want to tire them anymore,''

Leo turned around and ran to the door that lead to the stables, only to be stopped by Otter clasping onto his arm and jerking him closer.  
''And where do you think you are going,''

''I'm going to find him, there is a snowstorm coming! He's still out there! I'm not leaving him out there to die!'' Leo hissed stubborn and he tried to wrestle his way out of the powerful arms but Otter never even flinched.

''You cannot go out there Leo, it is dangerous,'' Bran chided, using his elder brother voice to attempt to overpower him. But Leo knew better than that.

''Cris is not good at reading the weather like you and me, I tried to teach him but he is pretty thick headed sometimes. If we leave him out there he will get himself killed. He will freeze to death! That is _not_ happening on my watch!'' Leo snarled and he bit in Otter's hand, surprising the other man just enough for him to loosen his grip on Leo.

Leo pulled himself free and ran out the door as fast as he could, hearing his brother's heavy footsteps following close behind.

Luckily he had always been fast, a lot faster than he looked.

He reached the stable first, opened the door to one of the white horses and lead her out, climbing onto her back.

Just when he wanted to leave a familiar set of hooves arrived at the stables and Leo was greeted by a loud whinnying sound of his own horse.  
Moire had returned safely.

A huge breath of air escaped Leo's lungs. 

On her back was a tall, hooded figure.

His dark cloak was drenched white from the snow and his eyelashes had snowflakes sticking to them but Leo knew who it was.

He felt his presence long before he even saw him.

 _''Cris,''_ he choked out, tears welling up in his eyes.

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Let me know what you think. I value everyone's opinion! <3
> 
> Sorry for the slight cliffhanger again, although it ends on a happy ending. <3


	20. Otter's story.

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> The reunion is cut short by the circumstances. 
> 
> Otter tell Cris his story. It reveals a shocking truth.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So I'm sorry for not doing the reunion in the way that most of you had probably envisioned it. But I promise that they will get together soon. 
> 
> I just wanted to postpone it for one more chapter and dive into Otters story first. 
> 
> And yes I'm doing it mostly because I'm too cowardly to write them together just yet. I got a knot in my stomach at the very idea. Stupid nerves are weighing me down. 
> 
> Normally I don't feel that much pressure but I know how many people are reading this and I don't wanna let anyone down.

_Cristiano_.

 

 

''Cris,'' Leo choked out and for an instance the world seemed to freeze around them.

Cris felt an inexplainable urge to cry at the sight of Leo being safe and finding his way home and he had to restrain himself, swallowing hard.

He had been so concerned about him these past few hours that it was almost hard to believe that he was standing here, unharmed.

He had searched _everywhere_ in Calleva and the surroundings but had no luck whatsoever.

When he saw the sky getting dark and heavy with snowflakes he decided to ride back to the villa for shelter.

But something else had been pulling at him when he rode home, gripping at his heart.

The strange feeling that Leo would be back gnawed at his soul, telling him that despite his better judgement, Leo was safe and would be waiting for him when he came back.

Moire's hooves had seemed to go on for hours before they finally returned to the estate but when he rode inside he had found that his instincts had been right, Leo was in fact home.

And now that he was, Cris was at a loss for words for the first time in his life.

Cris slipped off Moire's back and nodded at his friend, halting a few paces in front of Leo.

''Leo,'' he acknowledged, sounding far too formal for his own liking.

Why was he behaving so strange all of the sudden?

It felt like his throat was being constricted by an iron hand and speaking seemed strangely foreign to him. Maybe the aftershocks of his nightmare haunted him and pursued him to reality, he pondered.

He could still hear Leo screaming that he was useless in the back of his mind, he still saw him slipping the blade over his own throat because he knew that Cris would let him down.

The dream had terrified Cris and it made him a little anxious toward Leo, even though he knew he was being ridiculous. 

He was treating Leo as if he had only met him a couple of times, not like the man he loved with all his heart.

However, having nearly lost Leo, thinking he was left dead in a ditch somewhere had taught Cris that he was getting far too attached to Leo and that if he would return it would be wiser to create some necessary distance between them.

Therefore it wouldn't hurt as much if he actually lost Leo, after all: you couldn't lose what was never yours to begin with.

Still Cris was mauling over how he should respond to Leo now that he was back. Should he embrace him?

He wanted to, no more than that, he _needed_ to but something unseen was holding him back.

He knew Leo felt it too, for the small man made no attempts to come over to him for a hug.

They merely stared at each other, panting soft, while a thick and heavy silence filled the air around them.

Before he had time to think properly, a pair of footsteps appeared behind Leo and a threatening looking man, armed to the bone stepped around the corners of the stables.

Cris' primal instincts took over, casting all his former arguments about distance aside and he lunged forward, grabbed Leo's wrist and tugged him firmly behind his back, shielding his small body with his own.

He unbuckled his sword and pointed it out to the stranger.

The man was gigantic, probably a head taller than Cris himself and he was considered an extremely large man.

Cris knew that Britons could be quite tall compared to Romans, but this had to be the tallest man he had ever seen.

His hair was long and dark and his eyes were self assured and calm.

 _''Stay back!''_ he warned but Leo curled a hand around his waist and squeezed his hand to get his attention.

The warm feeling of Leo's hand lingering in his own made Cris' stomach clench with the sheer _need_ to be closer to Leo.

He wanted, no he needed to take him into his arms so badly.

Craved to stroke his hand through his thick strains of brown hair that he loved so much.

Leo laced his fingers with his and stroked them gentle. ''Cris, don't. He brought me here and I assure you that he means me no harm,''

Cris wanted to believe that, but refused to lower his sword and clenched his fingers around the hilt a little tighter.

A second, robust looking man arrived in the stables, placing his hand on the other's shoulder and whispering something in his ear.

His eyes were blue and icy and when he raised his head to lock his glare with Cris' it send a shiver over his spine.

Something about this man was so familiar to Cristiano that it made his heart flutter faster, as if he knew him somehow.

''Cris, don't harm them. I want you to meet someone,'' Leo said quietly and he gently placed his hand on Cris' and lowered the sword back into the sheath.

Leo gestured to the largest of the men to come forward and so he did, looking almost shy now.

''This is my long lost brother, Bran,'' Leo said and Cris' jaw dropped.  
''Pardon me?''

''I'm Bran,'' the man repeated, voice deep and low.

''But you told me that _all_ your brothers were dead! All of them,''

''Not this one,'' Bran assured him with a small frown. ''I somehow survived the battle and lived on in secret,''

''So you are the one who took Leo from me, why?'' Cris asked, hearing the biting, accusing sneer in his tone.

He was furious and he was only getting angrier every time Leo's alleged brother opened his mouth.

The tension in the air was getting thicker and heavier each minute.

''Because he is _my_ family, not yours, Roman,'' Bran hissed, fingers hovering over his dagger.

The other man placed his hand on his shoulder and mumbled something in his ear again.

''Yes and a lot of good it has done Leo over the years hasn't it? You being his family.  
In the end he was on his own as well as your sister Isbeil was, left at the mercy of my countrymen who frequently enjoyed abusing them. Where were _you_ then to protect them?!'' Cris exploded, hands quivering with held back menace.

Bran flew forward, but the other rurally man stepped between them and stuck his hands out so they couldn't reach each other.

''Enough Bran, this temper is beneath you. Leo take your brother and bring him to your chambers. I would like to have a word with Cristiano,''

''I'm not going anywhere with you. I don't even know your name,'' Cris objected, folding his arms together.

''My name is Otter, and I would like to speak with you in private if you would allow me. Merely a few questions to assure us of your intentions,''

Cris' forehead crinkled with lines and he sighed. ''What kind of questions? Why can't Leo stay here,'' he asked, feeling uneasy to the idea of being alone with this strange man.

''I'm not going to harm you Cristiano, I merely want to speak with you,'' Otter said and Cris eyes went to Leo who nodded assuring.

''He won't hurt you, and it is only a couple questions. I _trust_ him Cris,''

Cris sighed deep and gave in. ''All right, can we speak inside though? It's getting really cold in here,''  
Otter grabbed the horse blanket that was draped over the stable door and placed it over Moire's back.

He patted her on her flank when he was done.

It seemed like such a strange gesture and the most peculiar thing of all was that Moire did not seem to be afraid of Otter.

Usually Moire had no love for strangers but somehow she trusted him.

''Of course, we can speak wherever you like,'' Otter replied.

''Can we have do it in our chambers Leo? You and Bran can stay in the kitchen for a while can't you?'' Cris asked and Leo exchanged a sideway glare with Bran.

When they looked at each other and frowned, they looked exactly the same, Cris thought.

They had the same eye color and Cris was certain that if Leo let his hair grow longer he would look even more similar to Bran.

''Yes you can have our chambers, but I would like to see the cubs at first, I missed them,'' Leo chirped, eyes gleaming with excitement and Cris could tell how much he had missed the little ones.

''Of course, they have missed you too. Especially Maeve,'' Cris smiled and the four of them walked back to their quarters and opened the door.

Three loud barks emerged from the area and Leo found himself being fondled by three pair of enlightened paws.

They jumped onto him and he clamped onto the cubs and held them for dear life. ''Oh my little ones,'' he choked out as Maeve licked his cheek.

He kissed all three of them on their fur and held them tight. Bran bit on his finger and Leo hissed aggravated.

''Bran, no biting!'' he snapped and behind them an amused chuckle appeared from his brother.

''Bran? You named him after me?''  
Leo turned around and handed the cub to his namesake. ''Yes we did, Bran I would like you to meet Bran,''

Bran leaned over the cub and patted his head, avoiding the little ones teeth who lashed out to him. ''Charmed, I'm sure,'' he grinned.

''And this here,'' Cris said as he stroked Conor's back, ''Is Conor,''

Otter immediately placed a hand on Bran's shoulder and squeezed the muscle a little.

Bran's eyes went moist and he averted his eyes from Leo and the cubs.

''It's best not to mention that name too often around him,'' Otter warned. ''It hurts him to be remembered of his younger brother,''

''No it's quite all right Otter, it was merely the shock of hearing the name again. I feel _honored_ that you named him after our brother Leo,'' Bran smiled and he took a deep breath, successfully forcing his tears to disappear.

''What is her name?'' Otter asked as he stroked Maeve's little body.

''Maeve, she is Leo's little pet. He can never go anywhere without her. When he was gone last night she was beyond desperate,'' Cris explained and Otter stretched his hand out to her.

''May I?''

''Of course, she doesn't bite,'' Leo grinned and Maeve jumped into Otter's giant hands. She pressed her paws against his unshaven cheek and stared into his blue eyes with her own narrow emeralds.

''Hello sweet girl,'' Otter said, voice warm and friendly and the wolf licked his cheek, tongue flicking over the short dark beard.

''I think she likes you,'' Bran grinned and Otter shot him a triumphant look. ''All animals like me. Same goes to little children,''

''Now there's a wonder isn't it? Large brute like you being loved by children and small animals,'' Bran teased and Otter nudged him in his side with his elbow.

''Don't be cruel,''

''Well I think me and Bran will go to speak with your uncle now Cris, we have loads of important topics to discuss,'' Leo intervened and Cris eyed him curiously, narrowing his eyes.

''Such as?''

''I'll explain everything later, when we come back. I promise,'' Leo ensured him and Cris nodded slow.

''All right, take Maeve with you, she missed you terribly,'' he offered and Leo took Maeve from Otter's arms and left the room with his brother.

When the door fell closed a long and uncomfortable silence filled the air.

Cris was sitting on his favorite sofa by the fire and held a nearly asleep Conor into his arms.

Bran however was running around near the bed, practicing his jumping skills by latching himself onto the sheets, attempting to reach the top on his own.

''Can I get you something to drink?'' Cris offered, eyeing the carafe of red wine that was on the table but Otter shook his head.  
''No thank you, I am fine for now,''

''If you need water or tea please let me know,''  
''I will, thank you,''

''So what did you want to speak to me about?'' Cris asked, but Otter shook his head.

''I did not want to speak to you about anything Cristiano, I wanted to tell you a story. That is what I do best. Telling stories,''

Cris was slightly taken aback at that statement.  
''But a story can be either true or false,''

''Indeed, which is why I will let _you_ determine whether it is true for yourself,''

''All right, I am anxious to hear it then,'' Cris agreed and he poured himself some red wine and took a sip.

He waited politely for Otter to start his story, but he could tell that it would take the other man a lot to get through it without bursting out into tears.

Otter grabbed a carafe of water from the table and poured himself a cup, drinking the content in fast sloppy sips until it was empty.

He sat back on the opposite sofa and placed his arms together, sighing deep.  
After a while he finally found his voice.

''Once, a long time ago I knew a boy who made all the wrong choices.

He grew up north of the wall, with a vicious tribe who lived on the outskirts of the sea.  
His father _hated_ him for he always said that he was weak and a disgrace to his people.

The boy was his heir and meant to lead the tribe someday but his father refused to let someone this weak rule over his people.  
So he cast the boy out into the wild when he was merely six years old.

Gave him a spear to defend himself but nothing more, no warm clothes, no food, no water. The boy wandered through the wild for weeks, all on his own, he was extremely fortunate that he did not run into any wolves or bears.

He learned to catch fish and to make a small fire by smashing rocks together until his hands bled.

So at night he sat by the fire staring at the stars, shivering in agony and crying out for someone to help him, for someone to take him home.

He cried for his mother and did not understand why she had left him behind. Her only son,'' Otter paused a moment and Cris saw the tears well up in his eyes.

He handed the man a cloth, but said nothing. Sensing that this man was far too proud to speak about his pain.  
Otter took the cloth grateful and wiped his eyes quietly.

He took another sip of his water and continued his story.

''After a few weeks in the wilderness he was finally rescued. By a group of strange looking men, wearing iron armor and red manes on their helmets. The boy had never seen such men and therefore had no fear toward them.

He ran forward and found himself captured by them in mere seconds.  
The Romans put them on a horse and took him to a slave market where he was sold into a Roman family.

The boy did not understand a word they were saying and was scared when they kept talking to him with their angry voices. His new master took him to a giant estate and handed him over to a kitchen slave who spoke his language.

The slave taught him to speak Latin over the years. The boy's mistress called him Castor for such a long time that the boy forgot his real name. It did not seem to matter anymore.

His master was _kind_ to him and when he was living with the family for a year he began to train him with wooden swords and other weapons. The boy enjoyed his training a lot, and if he had been very good the master surprised him by giving him an embrace or a pat on his head. He even kissed his cheek one day.

The master let the boy sleep in a nice quarters instead of with the slaves near the kitchens and sometimes at night, he used to tug him in and tell him a good night story.

The boy loved his master.

After three years the domina told them that she was with child and we were happy for her. The boy knew how much the master desired to have a child of his own and he promised the boy that he could play with the baby once it was born.

The baby turned out to be a very healthy boy with strong features and a strong pair of lungs who kept the hole household awake for most of he nights.

And yet the boy loved him, for his master had allowed him to hold him and to play with him whenever he wanted to.

His mistress wasn't too happy with that, but she allowed it because her husband told her to.

The boy taught the master's son to walk and played hide and seek with him whenever the little child wanted to. He loved him like he was the brother he had never had.

When the child grew larger and had reached the age of eight his father rode off into war.

The boy, who was now a young man of nearly seventeen begged his master to take him with him for he was an excellent fighter who could help to keep him safe with his advanced skills and strong features.

But his master declined and the boy stayed behind with his younger brother. The boy realized only later that his master had done so to protect him.

When he put his brother in bed that night he slipped into his armor, grabbed a horse and left in pursuit of his master. He could not leave him behind for he loved his master as if he were his own father.

He had lived with him longer than he had with his actual father.

When he arrived on the battlefield beyond the wall after two days or searching, it felt like he had stepped into a bad dream.  
Blood and guts were lying everywhere, soiling the dark mud, turning it red.

There were dead Romans and Britons rotting in the dirt. The stench was overwhelming and the boy wondered how long the battle had went on and how much longer it would endure.

He looked everywhere for his father but could not find him. After a day he was being taken by his old father, the man who had thrust him into the wild without any hesitation.

He told the boy that if he wanted to prove himself to be one of them he had to kill the Roman leader, the Centurion who kept the others motivated to pursue the battle.

He had slain many Britons already and was the glue who held the Romans together.

If the boy killed him he would be welcome to rejoin his tribe and to be its leader one day. When his old father pointed at his target the boy's insides turned to ice.

He was being ordered to kill his master, the man he loved so fiercely and who he had been searching for.  
They were forcing him to murder his own father.

The boy walked through the battle, killing whoever blocked his path, not even noticing if they were Romans or Britons and halted near his father.

He asked the boy what he was doing there and the despair clearly showed on his face. The boy pointed the tip of his sword to his father's chest and resisted the urge to cry.

Silence formed between them as his father fell to his knees, accepting his fate. The golden eagle standard behind him was illuming the man's face in a haunting manner.

The boy hesitated for a very long time before he lowered his sword. His father took his hands and rose him to his feet before he embraced him, right there in the middle of the battlefield.

He cradled the boy's face and pressed a kiss to his forehead and there was love coming from his warm eyes. In that moment the boy knew that he would never make it out of there alive.

Most of the Romans around them were dead.

The only one still standing was his father, who was guarding the eagle with his life.

His old family would consider him a traitor and they would kill him for changing allegiances. The boy heard his father grunt in agony and he saw an arrow sticking out of his father's back.

He screamed and slaughtered some Britons around him who dared to come closer to finish them off.

His father fell to the ground, grunting and panting and the boy knew that it was the end for both of them. He knelt with his father and held him tight in his arms.

The remaining Romans around them ran and the battle was won in the favor of the Britons.

The boy's old family circled them like a predator and took the eagle standard before they vanished back into the forrest.

The boy did not fully understand why they did not kill him, but he figured that they wanted to let him live with his shame. Forever.

His beloved father died in his arms and he boy wept until he had no more tears to shed.

He buried him on a hill near a cliff overlooking the ocean and marked the grave by carving out a wooden eagle and placing it on a stick in the dirt.

His father liked carving eagles, he had taught the boy the skill ever since he was little. He even gave his young son a wooden eagle when he rode off to war,'' Otter said and Cris' heart sank in his chest.

He clenched Conor tighter to his chest and swallowed deep.

He had felt this coming as the story prolonged itself but somehow the revelation caused him too much shock to articulate any words.

Otter wiped a tear away and continued his story. ''The boy wanted to go home afterward, to take care of his little brother but a part of him knew that his mistress would never let him back into her villa. His mistress had always hated the boy and would never allow him to go near his brother.

As he walked around on the battlefield he helped dying men move on and tended to the wounded the best he could. And that is where he found him. Lying in the dirt, a black horse lying at his side, nudging him to wake up.

He found Bran, who was severely injured by the fight and he took him under his care.

He tended to his wounds and stayed with him until he had healed properly. Afterward he led him south near the wall and tried to help him find his family.

They became friends easily for Bran shared a similar personality as the boy and they protected each other through many dangers. And when Bran finally found his family again the boy did as well,'' Otter said as he sat down next to Cris and took his hands into his own.

''I am _so_ _sorry_ that I could not protect our father little brother,''

Cris burst out in tears and felt his head drop on Otter's muscled shoulder.

The strong arms came around his body while he wept, screamed and gasped for air.

He remembered him now, he remembered all of it.

How Otter had played with him for hours, how he had taught him to fight and to wrestle. Every memory suddenly returned to him and settled itself into his heart once again.

He had not recognized Otter as a grown man, and yet somehow he had seen something familiar in his eyes. Something he knew.

''It-is not-your fault,'' Cris choked out as he placed his arm around Otter's waist.  
''It is Cristiano, it is my fault. I should have came back for you, should have fought harder for you and for your father. I should have-''

Cris placed his hand over Otter's mouth and silenced him gentle. ''Shhh stop saying such things. I'm here now and I'm safe. And so are you. That is all that matters isn't it?''

''Yes it is. I will help you retrieve our father's eagle Cristiano, I sweat it to you,'' Cris raised a surprised eyebrow.

''Leo told us about your plan to find the eagle. I know where to look for it, seeing how my old family stole it. I can get us there and help you steal it back,'' Otter vowed.

''I cannot put you at risk, if they recognize you they will kill you,''

''How could they recognize me? You did not even remember what I looked like.  
They last saw me as a young man without a beard or long hair. I've changed a lot Cristiano. I can blend in, I assure you. It is my specialty. Just let me help you. Please. For your father,'' Otter begged.

''All right, you and Bran can come with us. We will leave as soon as the snows melt,''  
Otter nodded grateful and wrapped his fingers around Cris' arm, holding him tight.

Conor had woken up from all the racket but made no attempts to move. He extended his paw and landed it on Otter's cheek.

''He is awfully adorable,'' Otter smiled through his tears.

''Yes he is,''  
''Oh I almost forgot, I brought you something,'' Otter rasped and he dug his fingers into his clothing and fished something out of it.

In his hand was a carved out wooden Roman figurine. It was a little Centurion, complete with helmet and armor.  
Cris swallowed deep and took it in his hand.

''You could never fall asleep without having this in your crib. Your father had made it for you on the day you were born. He placed it into your crib and you never went anywhere without it.

I've seen him making it, it took him so many hours.

He used to sit down under the apple tree with me while he tried to taught me the best carving methods but I never listened to all of it. I was distracted easily, I still am.

His grandest desire was to have a son, who one day would grow up to be a Centurion as well.

A man who he could be proud of. A man of honor. When you were born he paced outside of your mother's chambers for hours, while I held him company. I had never seen him that nervous before. He was so worried about his wife and his child.

When we heard the news that you had been born and that both of your were healthy and happy, he embraced me so tight that I feared he would constrict me.  
He cried so loud, all his pride forgotten.

We went into the chambers and met you for the first time.  
I had never seen him so proud and content before. He had a son. And he was a beautiful child, on the inside and the outside.

You were so kind to everyone around you, even as a small toddler. You used to rescue drowning flies from water and when I taught you to fish, you insisted on releasing them back to the river.

Sometimes I feared that you were too good for this world.  
That your kindness would get you killed someday. But you were as strong as you were kind.

Allow me to say that I am absolutely certain that if your father would be here today that he could not be prouder of the man you have become,'' Otter smiled.

''And you Otter? Are you proud of the man I became?''

 _''Always,''_ Otter replied solemnly. ''I've been proud of you from the first moment I saw you and I could not be more proud of the man you became,''

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So did I manage to surprise you again with Otter's backstory? 
> 
> Cris did not recognize Otter because the last he saw him, he looked very different because he was so young and beardless and all that. 
> 
> He was also young when Otter left his home. 
> 
> I based Otter's storyline a little on Theon Greyjoy's from Game of Thrones. 
> 
> Hope you guys liked this chapter. Let me know <3  
> Thanks to everyone for the support!


	21. I will never let you go.

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Leo makes a wrong assumption about a situation and things go downward pretty fast after that. 
> 
> Or do they?

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Soooo. I'm back again and I hope that this reunion will satisfy you all! 
> 
> I did my best on it and I hope you guys liked it! 
> 
> Can I just say that I love jealous Leo. Like a lot.

_Leo_.

 

 

 

After he and Bran had discussed their strategic manners with uncle Aquila, Leo found himself halting at his own chamber door.

The conversation had been quite a success.

The old man had managed to convince his brother to desist their plan to drive the Romans out of Britain, exactly like Leo had _hoped_ he would do.

Leo knew better than anyone that the old man was quite the little manipulator and he was glad to see that he had not misjudged him in his talents of persuasion.

You could say a lot of things about the old man, but he always saw reason above everything else.

He was a man of the mind, not the heart.  
Every decision he ever made had been mauled over properly and thoroughly before he executed it.

Leo blessed the fact that his old master was such a practical man.

For his brother was one as well.

A man who let his mind speak for him, for if he allowed his heart to convey what he genuinely felt, he would never recover from all the emotion.

So Bran wore his steel mask with pride.

Only Leo knew what lied beyond the mask, he thought. And probably Otter as well.

The strange man seemed to understand and read each move his brother made before he had even made it.

They had decided not to enlighten the old man about their plans to go north just yet.

Leo knew in his heart that Cris' uncle would do _everything_ in his power to persuade them from going, for it was far too dangerous.

He and Cris had decided long ago that the old man would be the last to know they were leaving and that they wouldn't tell him until the very last minute before departure.

Stephanos had served lunch and Leo had helped him out when he noticed that it was safe to leave his brother alone with the sly old Roman fox.

Cris and Otter had not come out of their quarters yet and Leo was getting slightly concerned about it.

So he decided to grab a tray, filled it with vegetable soup, bread, wine and oil and walked to the quarters, Maeve trailing along behind him, never leaving his side now that she had finally found him again.

Leo had missed her terribly.

Somehow the little one offered him a form of comfort that not even Cris could provide.

She gave him the unconditional love that animals often indulged their owners with.

Leo could do many things wrong but Maeve would always forgive him for them.

 _Always_. No matter what he did.

It was nice to know that he had someone in his life who would love him with all of his mistakes.

Due to his strange behavior earlier he was getting a bit uncertain if Cris ever would.

Cris had behaved so strangely when he had seen Leo again.

Leo had hoped for an embrace, so that he could finally acknowledge his feelings to Cris and stop hiding from them, but his Roman had acted very distant toward him.

There was barely any love or affection residing in his brown eyes and it made Leo nervous. Had he done something wrong that he was unaware of?

Leo did not like to feel so in the dark about Cristiano's feelings. Usually he was quite good at reading him and sensing his emotions but right now he was left completely in the dark.

He raised his fist to the wooden door and hesitated to knock on it. Maeve was staring at him from the ground and made a disgruntled noise.  
Leo stared at her and raised his eyebrows.

''What is it?''  
Maeve barked soft and pressed her face against his leg.

''Maeve, what?''

She stared at the closed door and barked again. ''Ah you mean that I do not have to knock, seeing how it are my quarters as well,'' he said and Maeve licked his hand affirming when he crouched down.

''You're right love, I will not knock,''

He took a deep breath and opened the door, only to wish a moment afterward that he hadn't.

Cris was sitting on the sofa, pressed against Otter's body.

He had his arms draped around Cris and his fingers roamed through his thick raven hair.  
His lips lingered on Cris' temple.

Leo was so shocked that he dropped the tray on the floor, shattering the carafe of wine and the bowl with soup into a thousand wet pieces.

The two men looked up startled when Leo had stormed inside and Cris instantly removed himself from Otter's grip, cheeks turning darker rapidly.

 _''Leo...''_ he panted, voice thick with held back emotion.

''Oh I see, now this _all_ makes so much more sense to me!'' Leo groaned as he crouched down again to pick Maeve from the floor, seeing how she was licking at the red wine.

''Leo this is not what you think,'' Cris warned but Leo was beyond himself with blind rage and jealousy.

''Isn't it?! You, get out!!'' he shouted, pointing an accusing finger at Otter, who sat there frozen like a damned statue.

''Leo, this really is _not_ what it looks like,'' Otter tried but Leo shook his head, not in the mood to hear his lies. ''I don't care! If you want to keep your life, I suggest you get the hell out of my room right now!''

Maeve was whining at Leo's feet, crying out that she was clearly afraid of him when he was behaving in such an insane manner, but Leo ignored her.

His fury came from feelings that were buried deep inside of him, feelings he rather not give in to but couldn't deny any longer.

It felt so intense that he could no longer see reason.

He had never felt such blind rage before, such a strong urge to strangle someone until the life left their eyes.  
It scared him, to realize just how much Cris meant to him that he would literally kill for him.

''Leo, please,'' Cris begged but Leo threw a wine cup onto the floor at Cris' feet, shattering it into pieces, symbolizing how his heart was breaking at the moment.

''You! Get out now, before I _kill_ you!'' he shouted, sounding almost animalistic, and he clenched his jaw while he shivered uncontrollably.

Otter eyed Cris for a moment and when he saw Cris give him an affirming nod, Leo lost it.

''I said get the hell out!!! **NOW!!!''** he screamed.

He found his legs moving on their own accord and before he knew it he was reaching for Otter's long neck but was being stopped by Cris, who had stepped between them and had wrapped his arms around Leo's waist, preventing him from strangling his new lover.

Leo struggled in his arms but knew he could never beat Cris' superior arm muscles.

That did not stop him from trying though. ''Let me go Cris!!!''

''No, not until you calm down. Otter you should really leave now,'' Cris said and the large man, who seemed strangely calm in the mist of all this racket, eyed Leo friendly and smiled.

''You know, you look precisely like your brother when you get angry Leo. It is almost haunting,'' the man murmured amused and Leo balled his hands into fists.  
How could this moron stand here, jesting at his expense?

He didn't even seem to care about what he had done to Leo.

The man had not realized that he had taken everything Leo loved out from under his nose and stolen it for his own pleasures.

''Are you soft in the head? I said get out!!!'' Leo grunted.

''All right, but remember one thing Leo: not everything is what it seems,'' Otter mused and Leo snorted unimpressed.

Otter closed the door behind him and left them alone.

The wine was dripping from the broken carafe, staining the floor but neither Cris nor Leo bothered to clean it up. 

Maeve had made her way to Conor who was sleeping in a cloak near the fireplace and curled up behind her brother, shutting her eyes.

Cris tugged Leo down on the sofa near the fire and held onto his hand, attempting to soothe Leo but he was beyond reasoning and tore his hand away from his.

''Did you let him fuck you in _our_ bed?'' Leo asked and he saw the gigantic wave of pain making its way over Cris' beautiful features.

He was really disappointing Cris by asking that of him, he could tell.

But Leo did not care about hurting him anymore, he needed to hear the truth, even if it would destroy him.

He _needed_ to know if it was over between them.

But could something be over if it had not even actually started yet? Cris had never truly been _his_ , not really and now he probably never would be.

It was a loss Leo had never expected to have to bear.

''How can you even _ask_ me such a question Leo? Do you really think so little of me? I thought you _trusted_ me?'' Cris asked, sounding so betrayed, so vulnerable that Leo hated himself a little bit, especially when he saw a tear form in the corner of Cris' eye.

A feeling of deep shame made its way to Leo's heart but he tried to ignore it.

''I trusted you yes, but then you came back and you behaved so distant toward me.  
And now I find you here with _that_ guy, embracing each other like you're old lovers or something like that! You tell me what I was suppose to think when I saw that?  
What would you have thought if the situation was reversed?''

Cris fell silent and pursed his lips together, clearly mauling over Leo's words.

Leo was thinking about Cris' words as well and he though that he had a good point.

Did he really think that Cris would throw everything they had away for a stranger?

''I am sorry for being so distant with you Leo, I did not mean for that to happen. But you had haunted me in my dreams the night before and it was hard for me to forget the painful events that happened in them.  
But I should not have treated you like that and for that I am truly sorry. But nothing happened between me and Otter. I was merely embracing him because he is an old family friend of mine,'' Cris said and Leo frowned deep, feeling even more confused now.

''What?''

''He was my father's slave when I was growing up, but for me he was more like a brother and my father loved him like a son.  
I had not recognized him when I met him for I had not seen him in many years and when we last saw each other we had both been very young.

He told me everything and we embraced each other for we used to be close like brothers. I never let him touch me, and we did not fuck on our bed.

He did not take anything from me, or from you.

Leo, _please_.  
You have to believe me. I would never lie to you. I promised to always tell you the truth didn't I?'' Cris begged and he took Leo's hand into his own again, carefully nudging him a little closer to his body, until their sides were briefly touching.

Leo grew tired of fighting Cristiano and gave him a stiff nod.

Oh he remembered the day that Cris promised him that he would always tell him the truth, and he had always believed him.

For Cris was a pretty lousy liar, just like Leo was.

He could tell that Cris was speaking the truth and a huge feeling of relief washed through his system.

Leo let his head sink to Cris' shoulder and slowly felt a long arm come around his waist.

He wanted to say something, anything, but he could not find any words to utter.

Cristiano however could, probably sensing that Leo was becoming more gullible and that he could reach him, if he tried a little harder.

''When you disappeared I had never been so scared Leo, I wanted to go after you right away but my uncle forced me to stay in bed for I was a little injured and it was the middle of the night. So I fell asleep, but as I said: you haunted my every dream.

In one of them you slid your own throat because you said that you were your father's son and you would rather die then to ever be my whore. I never wanted you to be my whore,'' Cris said and Leo sighed deep, feeling nauseous at the words for the reminded him of the similar words his father had used in his own dreams a while back.

He wrapped his fingers around Cris' and tangled them together, feeling all his anger ebbing away almost as quickly as it had arisen.

Cris laid back on the sofa, dropping his head to the pillow and Leo thoughtlessly laid down next to him, placing his head against Cris' sturdy chest and felt the strong arms wrap him into a tight hug.

Leo shut his eyes and resisted the urge to cry at the gesture.

He was finally back in Cris' arms.

It had been so long since he had felt this intense form of intimacy and security.

This was the only person who he had ever wanted to be close with.

The only man he desired.

Leo wanted to die in those arms, many years from now when they were old and wrinkled.

Cris stroked Leo's cheek gentle and continued slowly. ''When I woke up, I rode out on Moire's back as soon as I could. I searched everywhere for you but it was futile. I was so scared Leo, so terrified that you wouldn't come home. That I had lost you forever, before I had even told you-''

Leo cradled Cris' cheek and forced their eyes to meet. ''Before you told me what?''

Cris blushed deep and a small smile lingered on his lips. ''Are you honestly going to make me say it out loud? You already know what I mean to say,''

''Perhaps I do, but still, it would be nice to hear it being spoken out loud for once, instead of it being said with stolen glances or intense debates,'' Leo teased, as another expectant blush crept over his face.

''Very well,'' Cris sighed and his hand trembled as he cupped Leo's cheek, slightly leaning in so that their foreheads were brushed together.

Leo could almost feel his nerves and struggled to keep his own contained. He anxiously gnawed on his lower lip. 

Cris whispered thickly: ''You are _everything_ to me Leo. Everything that matters.  
You and those little cubs, that is home for me.

You brought me back to life when I was at a point where I would rather die. I had nothing left after my injury, I lost everything that mattered to me.

My pride, my honor and my legion. 

Before you came along there was only darkness and pain, and now all is filled with light, hope, warmth and love.

Wherever you go, I will follow. And despite my better judgement and the fact that I know I should not feel like this due to our different backgrounds, I still love you and I will continue to do so until my dying day. Are you happy now?''

Tears were streaming over both their cheeks and Leo let out a relieved and content groan. ''Yes I am happy now, for you mean the world to me. I love you too Cris,'' he said and he pressed a soft kiss to Cris' forehead.

Cris' fingers had made their way through Leo's hair and were roaming around slow and sensual.

Leo's heart was pounding extremely fast from the long awaited anticipation and he could feel Cris' rapid heartbeat rumbling through the fabric of the tunic that was being pressed against his chest.

Why had they waited this long?

It seemed so futile now, spending all those months yearning for one another but never acting on their feelings.

They both wanted this, no more than that: they needed this.

''Leo,'' Cris groaned, and something wet and heavy landed on Leo's cheek.

He knew the tear was not his and for once he did not bother to wipe it away.

He let Cris feel what it was that he needed to feel.  
Leo had always known that Cris wanted him, he made that very clear in his stolen glances, his lingering touches and Leo saw it in their intimate conversations.

But somehow Leo had always held him at a distance, not certain he wanted to surrender to his dangerous feelings so easily.

Besides: men liking men was not considered normal where he came from.

''It has taken me a long time to get here Cris, but I'm here now and I'm never letting you go again,'' Leo said, tears rolling down his pale cheek.

Cristiano was so utterly beautiful in this light, so alluring. He looked nearly _angelic_.

The soft light of the candles illumined his sculptured features and he reminded Leo of one of the Roman god statues that decorated the villa.

''By all the gods, you are _so_ beautiful. You're perfect,'' Leo whispered against the shell of Cris' feverish ear.

He felt the tanned skin shiver against his lips and he smiled proudly to himself.

It was very comforting to know that he could send shivers over Cris' spine with the simplest of touches.

Cris leaned in impossibly close and finally crossed the distance between them and sealed his lips with Leo's.

Leo had dreamed about the warm lips more times than he would like to admit, he had felt them on his own in his imagination, but nothing had been able to prepare him for the softness and tenderness of Cristiano's plump, warm lips, ghosting over his.

Feeling almost like he was being struck by lightning, Leo had to remind himself to keep breathing.

It was nearly too much, Leo's head was spinning rapidly and butterflies roamed around in his stomach.

Both of them stilled for a moment, their lips merely pressed together in a comfortable sealed kiss.

Their eyes were closed and their breaths mingled together.

Cris was slightly panting above him, and Leo whimpered as he pulled Cris a little closer against his body, entwining their fingers together, while his other hand roamed over Cris' porcelain cheek.

Intoxicating amounts of need overtook Leo and he slowly started moving his lips against Cris, urging him to deepen the kiss.

He needed _more_ , craved more warmth, more touches.

Cris' musky scent was devouring him whole.

It did not take long for Cris to let him in, and the older man parted his lips willingly for Leo, who hungrily pressed their tongues together and moved them around.

Leo realized with a shock that this was his first kiss. None of his masters who used him for a whore had ever kissed him on the mouth, nor had he wanted them to.

He might have been screwed by many men, but no other man had ever been granted access to Leo's lips.

He hoped he was not disappointing Cris with his lack of experience but to his relief he felt the Roman take control of the kiss.

Cristiano moaned into Leo's mouth as his lips suckled passionately onto Leo's bottom lip, ravishing him up to the point where Leo swore he had died and gone to heaven.

For nothing earthly could ever feel this good. Could feel so right.

They were interrupted by two soft thumps that landed on the sofa and nestled in with them.

Leo reluctantly broke the kiss and opened his eyes to the most endearing sight there was. Maeve and Conor had curled up on Cris' chest and were begging for their attention by licking their joined hands.

Cris blushed a bit when Leo's eyes met his but he smiled nonetheless. ''I think they are feeling quite a bit neglected,''

Leo chuckled amused and kissed Maeve's soft head. ''Looks like they are yes. Cris why did you wait this long to kiss me?''

''Because I wanted it to be _your_ choice, not mine. I refused to force my feelings onto you.  
But when I saw how jealous you were when you saw me and Otter together I knew that today was the right day to confess to my feelings.

For I was _finally_ certain that you would return them. What sort of a man would I be if I just took what I wanted without making sure that I had permission first?''

''Well a Roman I guess,'' Leo teased and he pressed a kiss to Cris' unshaven cheek. ''But I am glad that you did not force me. For my brother and Otter made me see reason last night.

They made me tell them everything and I finally realized that I wanted you despite our family's complicated history. It doesn't matter to me Cris, the only thing that I care about is you.

I am not spending another moment hiding myself from the truth. And the truth is that I would do anything for you, everything you wanted.  
You just gave me my first kiss, did you know that?''

Cris' eyebrows creased upward and he gaped surprised at Leo. ''Are you serious?''

''Yes, most of my masters never kissed me on the mouth, not that I wanted them to. So this was my first kiss, and it felt even better than I had imagined it would be,''

Cris smiled again and captured Leo's lips into another devouring kiss that made his head spin.

It didn't last very long for a sharp knock on their door interrupted them.

''Leo!!! Let me in!'' Bran's voice was tensed and Leo could tell he was in trouble for his outburst to Otter.

He slipped a bit to the side to create a small amount of space between himself and Cristiano, but found himself being securely tugged back in by the taller man's arms.

''Stay with me, I don't care if they know. Let them see that you're mine and I am yours,'' Cris said and his piercing eyes were so filled with desire and love that it made Leo gasp with longing.

He pressed another searing kiss to Cris' lips and curled his fingers through the other man's hair.

''I am yours,'' he vowed, giving Cris a moist kiss on his cheek.  
''I know,''

''Come in!'' Leo yelled and the door flew open and his brother appeared in the doorway.

His bushy eyebrows creased at the sight of Leo and Cris, all tangled up on the sofa, arms and legs blending together.

''Oh I'm sorry, is this a bad time?'' he snarled sarcastic but Leo shook his head.  
''No brother, come on in,''

''While I am glad to see that you two have finally grown a pair and owned up to your _wretched_ feelings, I feel obligated to tell you that you owe someone an apology little one,'' Bran chided and Leo lowered his head, guilt riddled all over his face.

''I know, I am sorry for getting so angry with Otter, I was out of line. It will not happen again. It was merely a misunderstanding,''  
Bran chewed on his lower lip and sighed. ''All right, I forgive you and so will he,''

''Where is he?'' Leo asked.

''He is in the bathhouse getting clean, and a good thing too, he smelled like a dead cat honestly,'' Bran grinned and Leo chuckled.

''I do not think that I have ever smelled a dead cat before,'' Leo mused and Bran laughed heartily. ''Well they smell like Otter,'' 

The three of them laughed together like old friends and Leo enjoyed the moment intensely. 

''We will join you in the bathhouse in a moment,'' Cris said and Bran nodded curt and left the room with a wink.

''We can stay here a little longer can't we?'' Leo pleaded, using is most seductive voice to entice Cris.  
Cris pulled him near to his chest and sealed their lips together.

That was all the confirmation Leo needed.

They were not going anywhere for a while.

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hope it lived up to your expectations guys. 
> 
> Let me know <3
> 
> *and yes, I used a game of thrones joke at the end*


	22. Secrets are my life.

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> The four men practice their combat skills in the yard and Cris get's to know another side to Bran.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I have no idea how this chapter became sooo long, but consider it an early christmas gift to you guys! 
> 
> This chapter takes place about a month after the last one. I'm speeding the timeline up again. They will leave for the north soon.
> 
> Without all of your support this story would not be possible. Your comments and kudos really encourage me to keep going forward and I hope to keep surprising you guys with each new chapter I post. 
> 
> I want to thank all of you for all the support and feedback.  
> Merry Christmas to you all!!!

_Cristiano._

 

 

 

A couple of weeks later, many things had changed in and around the villa.

Uncle Aquila had grudgingly accepted his new house guests, who were _very_ loud, a tad obnoxious and had no manners whatsoever.

They repeatedly belched at the dinner table, they left muddy footprints _all_ over the estate and accidentally destroyed more dishes in their enthusiasm than Stephanos could count.

The only quality his uncle liked about Bran and Otter was that they constantly volunteered to help with chores in and around the house.

They helped the stable boys tending to the horses, they cooked with Stephanos in the kitchen and they slaughtered and skinned livestock for supper.

They were so strong and worked like such a team that they managed to repair the semi collapsed roof of the stables on one particularly cold afternoon and be done with it before supper.

Cris had never seen his uncle so impressed when they arrived back into the villa, stating that they were already done.

His uncle's jaw faltered when they took him outside to show him the perfectly restored roof.

Their work was _impeccable_.

It looked precisely like it had before the tree branch had fallen through it, making it collapse during that winter storm.

It certainly was a comical sight to see his uncle that dumbstruck over their achievements.

Mending the roof earned Bran and Otter a lot of much needed credit with the old man and from that moment on he really tried to be kinder to them.

At the start he had complained about them continuously, saying how they emptied his cellars, were too loud in the mornings and made too much racket around the house.

They used the bathhouse far too much and left such a dripping mess behind when they were finished in there.

Poor Stephanos didn't even have enough towels and cloths in the house to dry the tiles afterward.

Well now that he thought about it: Bran used the bath. Cris had never actually _seen_ Otter sitting in the hot water, not even once.

It seemed very odd to him, and he wondered if Otter had a phobia of drowning.

Every time he entered the bathhouse he found Bran thrashing around in the water but Otter always remained on the sofa, fully clothed and the man never made any attempts to join his friend.

Bran often took his namesake into the bath with him, seeing how the cubs loved to go for a swim and uncle Aquila had finally given them permission to let them run around freely in all the common areas.

During the days they mostly trained outside, and having two hard and seasoned soldiers around him really made Cris realize that he was terribly out of practice due to his cursed leg.

They beat him with a few strikes of their swords or with a movement he had not predicted.

Even Leo gave them a better fight than he could.

He liked to train with both Otter and Bran at the same time, attempting to outsmart them by moving around and wielding an axe in one hand and his sword in the other.

Cris was very impressed with Leo's ability to use both his left as his right hand to fight.

He could only use his right hand to wield his sword, the left simply felt unnatural.

Bran and Otter also fought with a sword in each hand and Cris felt terribly left behind knowing that he was the only one who couldn't do it.

Otter, who was the most patient one of the two, offered to re-train Cris and they spent hours sparring with wooden swords, shooting arrows from Moire's back into targets, and they even wrestled sometimes.

Cris tried sparring with two swords but he simply couldn't get used to it. Brought up as a Roman, he was far too used to the shield in his left hand.

Maybe if he had been raised with the technique, like Leo and Bran had, he might be able to do it, but now it was futile.

All his instincts felt wrong when he used his left and Otter pointed out that it was too dangerous to try something new.

When they would go into the wild, Cris needed to trust on the skills he had with his right hand.

So Cris gritted his teeth furiously and tried to accept his loss.

Whenever Bran and Otter weren't looking however, he smuggled a wooden sword into his chambers and practiced with his left hand despite their objections.

Leo wisely held his tongue and refused to speak about it to either one of them and Cris loved him for his discretion.

He used to spend hours studying Cris' movements with the cubs on his lap, and Cris had to admit that he liked the audience, he liked showing off for Leo.

Leo was often quite hard on him, correcting him whenever he did something that didn't make much sense and Cris improved slowly but steadily with his left.

Wrestling together was apparently something he and Otter had done growing up, but Cris had no memory of those events anymore, which provided Otter with an even greater advantage over him.

When Otter had him in a headlock, Cris often liked to take his time in studying Otter's scars, which were apparently _everywhere_.

On his arms, his shoulders, parts of his face and he even spotted one on his calf, looking very much like a knife wound.

Cris had fallen into the habit of calling Otter 'brother' and the older man had blushed the first time he had used it, suddenly shyer than they had ever saw him.

He had looked nearly endearing with that deep blush on his cheeks and it had made him look ten years younger. Cris couldn't remember he had seen Otter that happy since he was reunited with him.

Otter explained that Cris always used to call him brother when they were still living together.

Due to Otter's variety of stories about the memories they had shared together, Cris started to remember more and more of their joined childhood.

Whenever he told him about his father though, Cris always found it a bit hard to breath, the painful memories of losing him constricting his heart.

Today Cris was feeling a little off his game while they were training in the yard.

He was losing badly against Bran, who, for such a large and robust man, moved like the wind and had him on his knees in seconds. Losing to Bran was nothing new really, and nothing to be ashamed of but somehow something felt out of place today.

''Are you all right Cris? You were down even faster than you usually are,'' Bran mocked, his face not unfriendly.

Cris looked around quickly to see if Leo and Otter had seen them but they were far too focused on their own duel to mind them.

''He didn't see you, don't worry,'' Bran said and he extended his hand to Cris to haul him up and Cris reluctantly accepted it.

Bran patted him on the back when he lunged him to his feet as if he weighed nothing.

''I don't know what's wrong with me today, I merely cannot seem to focus no matter how hard I try,''

''Hmm I understand, concentration can be hard to come by. I can solve that for you if you like,'' Bran offered and Cris shrugged.  
''If you want to,''

''Come here,'' Bran ordered and Cris obediently moved closer to the giant man, who radiated authority.

Bran grabbed a long cloth from his clothing and tied it, without any warning, around Cris' head, blinding him in the process.

Cris panicked slightly and tried to remove it but got rewarded with a smack to his fingers.

''Tsk don't touch that! I'm only trying to help you,''

''What in Mithras' name do you think you're doing?'' Cris hissed, feeling unpleasantly taken aback by this turn of events.  
He was not particularly fond of surprises, never had been.

''You are _too_ easily distracted and one day it will get you killed out there. I am simply _removing_ that problem for you, so that you can learn to rely on your other senses instead of your sight, which let's be honest: isn't doing you much good today,''

Cris heard the clattering of the swords near him seize and he could almost feel Leo and Otter's eyes on him, burning in his side.

''But if I can't even _see_ anything then how can I fight like this!'' Cris protested, hating how vulnerable and weak he sounded.

A small, warm hand folded itself into his and the gentle pressure told him that it was Leo that was holding onto him. ''Cris, it's all right. You can do this. When I grew up we fought like this lots of times and the first time can be scary, I know, feeling like you're blind is really uncomfortable.

But you need to learn to rely on your instincts, listen to his footsteps, hear his movements.  
Focus on the wind that tells you he is moving his sword through the air, sense from which side he's coming.

Once you have mastered this skill in combat, you are basically invincible.

You will be able to fight in the pitch dark, once you realize that your sight was only holding you back.

But if you want I can guide you, by telling you left or right, give you a little more relief,'' Leo offered and he stood on his toes to kiss Cris' cheek.

Cristiano really appreciated the gesture but knew he had to overcome this obstacle by himself, he also knew that Leo realized that he would never accept his offer, but he made it nonetheless to put his mind at ease and he loved him for it.

''No it is all right, I will do this myself. But thank you,'' Cris mumbled and he wrapped Leo against his side and placed a soft kiss to his hair.

He heard two loud sighs coming from his sides.

''Gods can you two _not_ , leave that for when you are in your room together-alone,'' Bran complained, like he and Otter always did whenever they displayed any signs of public affection.

''Stop complaining brother, you nearly sound a little jealous,'' Leo teased and Cris could imagine Bran's face turning quite dark at that. He smiled to himself.

''Don't be ridiculous little one,'' Bran declared.  
''Yes clearly _I'm_ the ridiculous one,'' Leo retaliated dryly and Cris knew that the was rolling his eyes at his brother.

''Can we start now, I'm not getting any younger here,'' Otter intervened and Cris had to agree with that, this was already too nerve wrecking as it was. He wanted it to be over with so that he could see again as quick as possible.

Leo removed himself from Cris and took a few steps back.

Cris was getting more anxious by the minute for he did not want to look like an idiot in front of Leo so he tried to concentrate on his senses as hard as he possibly could.

A soft thud behind him startled him and he turned around, clasping his hand a little tighter on the wooden training sword.

''Don't worry, that was merely one of my sparring swords,'' Bran's voice told him. ''I have only one sword in my hand right now, Leo and Otter will remain where they are, so every movement you perceive will be mine. Are you ready?''

Cris swallowed hard and took a few deep breaths, steading his heart rate. ''Can I have a moment to thoroughly prepare myself please?''

''Of course,'' Bran said and a calm silence lingered in the large garden.

Cris heard ravens gawking nearby, heard the rustling of leaves and the soft movement of the tree branches.

He closed his eyes and let all the sounds enter his mind, giving them a place in his memory, so he could differentiate them from Bran's footsteps.  
''All right, I'm ready now,'' Cris whispered and he heard Bran moving around him.

From the sound of it he was circling him, and so Cris moved with the direction of the gentle footsteps, turning even further to his left, not bothering to walk anywhere.

A whooshing sound came from his left.

It reminded Cris of the noise a wooden sword made when it was being wielded and he instinctively turned to his right, clearly avoiding it in the process for it didn't hit him.

''Good, an excellent start,'' Bran complimented and Cris beamed with pride for a moment. ''A lot better than Leo's first try,''

''Give me a break Bran, I was seven!'' Leo hissed a few meters behind them and Bran tutted again.

''That was no excuse, and I said no talking! You are distracting Cris and the lesson is far from over,''

Leo grunted reluctant but the silence returned to the practice field and Cris patiently awaited the next attack.

Bran's footsteps were quite loud and Cris was half convinced that Bran did that on purpose for he usually seldom heard Bran coming toward him. Bran was always so silent in his steps that it was nearly haunting.

Sometimes he simply appeared behind them, scaring them nearly to death.

''Don't go so easy on me,'' Cris complained sharp and Bran chuckled.

''Who says I am?''

''Usually you move silent like death, now I could hear your footsteps all the way from Rome if I wanted to.  
Stop going easy on me! If you treat me like a delicate flower, I'll never learn, and I'll never survive in the wild where I assume the hunters move as silent as you and Otter,'' Cris barked out and Bran smiled soft.

''You're right, they do. And I was treating you like a beginner. If you want I will desist that, but that will not be in your favor if you hope to beat me,''

''Well considering that I couldn't even beat you when I still had my sight, I'm not exactly counting on a win right now anyway,''  
''All right, but don't say I didn't warn you,'' Bran said and Cris shrugged his shoulders.

''I can handle it, I assure you,''  
''Very well, let's begin,'' Bran rasped and the silence returned once again.

Once again it was not fear that gripped at Cristiano, merely a heightened sense of things.

The cool air in his lungs, the sounds of trees nearby and the moving water creating waves on the shores of the gray lake.

Cris could see the lake, even when he had lost his sight.

He saw Leo's expectant face and saw Otter's calculated eyes, observing everything around him.

He no longer heard Bran's footsteps but he knew that they were there, they _had_ to be, encircling him slow and patiently like a wolf that had surrounded its prey.

Cris pointed his wooden sword out to nobody in particular and waited.

Bran made him wait a very long time before he finally stepped forward and lunged his sword toward Cris' head.

Cris somehow felt it coming and moved aside, just in time.

''Very good! You truly are a natural at this!'' Bran praised, removing Cris' blindfold as he pulled him into a tight embrace that nearly cracked his ribs.  
Cris blinked twice at the sharp sunlight and adjusted his eyes.

''Thank you my friend,'' Cris smiled and from the corner of his eyes he saw his uncle and Stephanos standing in the doorway, gaping at him.

They seemed equally impressed with his achievement as Bran, Otter and Leo were.

''That was indeed very impressive Cristiano,'' his uncle complimented and Cris nodded grateful, a blush creeping over his cheeks. Leo was staring at him from his right, love and admiration beaming from his eyes.

''Thank you uncle,''

''Supper will be on the table soon, so I suggest the four of you get back to your chambers and clean yourselves,'' Stephanos chimed and they disappeared back into the house.

Cris grabbed Bran's arm and nodded at him.

He and Leo made their way to their quarters and Bran and Otter went into theirs.

They had a room adjacent to Cris and Leo and they spend a lot of time with the four of them at night.

Simply sitting by the fire, exchanging stories and drinking wine.

When Leo shut the door behind them he lunged himself at Cristiano, desperately devouring his lips with his own.

Cris was so surprised by the gesture that he nearly forgot to breath and he quickly had to release Leo to allow his lungs some much needed oxygen.

Leo had pressed him up agains the door and nudged his head on Cris' chest, holding him tight.  
''Gods Leo, what was that for?'' Cris panted as he mapped his fingers through Leo's thick hair.

He loved Leo's hair so much, he could play with it all day if Leo let him. Which he usually did.

''You looked so beautiful out there today, so fierce and gorgeous. I had to literally restrain myself from touching you, from kissing you senseless,'' Leo confessed as he naughtily gnawed on his full lower lip, and he stared at Cris as if he was the most desirable person in the world.

''Well as much as I would love to kiss you all evening, we have to get ready for dinner. We have been rather late too frequently this past week,'' Cris groaned, hating himself a little bit for not indulging both of them with more much needed pleasure.

''Oh come on, you're joking aren't you? I cannot have you to myself for _five_ minutes? After dinner our brothers will be here again, limiting us until they go to bed,''

''Yes and after they leave we have all night to do whatever you like,'' Cris smiled, and he released Leo from his arms and removed his soaked tunic and breeches, revealing his broad chest and impressive outlined leg muscles.

He knew he was being unreasonable, proudly showing Leo what he could not have for another couple of hours was a bit cruel, but Cris loved to let Leo wait until he gave himself to him.

Knowing that the anticipation of it only made Leo even more passionate and wanton.

They had never actually made love to each other, but they had taken pleasure in many other ways.

Cris mostly wanted to take it as slow as he could, considering Leo's history that was filled with rape and pain instead of pleasure.

Leo sometimes froze whenever Cristiano touched his buttocks, and one time he had spontaneously burst out into tears when Cris had rubbed their cocks together.

Cris had taken him into his arms and held him as soothing and comforting as he could.

The cubs joined them on the bed and howled with Leo, giving him enough strength to find a small smile again after he had calmed himself.

It was not easy for either of them, to not be able to consume their love the way they wanted to, but Cristiano was a patient man who refused to force Leo into anything.

For Leo it was particularly harder than it was for Cris, for Leo felt terribly guilty for being the one to withhold hem from taking that final step.

But Cris always assured him that it was not important to him, that simply being with Leo was more than he could have ever hoped for and that not everything revolved around sex.

Besides, pleasure could be gained in _many_ different ways.

For Cris, kissing Leo senseless was just as enjoyable as bringing Leo and himself to an orgasm when they stroked each other.

As long as he had Leo, Cristiano was content and happy.

He would take every shard of love that Leo had to offer.

Cris washed himself quickly with a cloth and a small bucket of water but when he turned around to say something at Leo, he noticed that Leo was gone and that he was alone with the cubs.

Leo had a tendency to storm out on him whenever he felt insulted by Cris, and that happened quite a lot for they still seldom agreed on anything.

Cris knew he had been a tad mean, to display his bare body to Leo and than to prohibit him access to it, but seeing Leo walk out had been an unpleasant surprise.

He sighed deep and washed himself quickly, feeling suddenly cold and miserable as he changed into fresh clothes.  
Maeve barked at him, looking almost accusing as if she knew exactly what was going on between them.

''I know Maeve, I was out of line, I'm sorry all right,'' he croaked as he leaned down to pet her gray, furry head.  
A soft knock on the door startled him.

''Come in,'' he mumbled and while he expected Otter to come, he was surprised when Bran's face appeared in the doorway.

Usually Otter would come to see him after he had quibbled with Leo, but seeing his lover's older brother made him worry he was in a lot of trouble for his thoughtless actions.

''Can I come in?'' Bran asked politely, but his face was cold.  
''Um yes of course, but dinner-''

''Dinner can wait, this matter however cannot, I'm afraid,'' Bran rasped and he pushed himself by Cris and sat down on the sofa, tugging a very sleepy Conor on his lap.

Bran and Maeve were still sleeping by the fire and hadn't even noticed their brother being abducted by the large brute.

''So, am I in trouble for teasing Leo?'' Cris asked, always one to go on the offensive. He folded his arms together and stared sharply at the other man.

Bran smiled slow but shook his head. ''No, of course not. I merely wanted to speak to you. Explain a couple of important topics to you,''

''I see, well in that case: would you like some wine? I have an excellent carafe of red that my uncle imported from Rome that I wouldn't mind sharing with you,''

''Gladly, I could use a large cup if I want to tell this story right,''

Cris filled two large cups till the edge with the red liquid and handed a glass to Bran, who took it eagerly and took a large, not very gallant sip, spilling the content over his chin and white tunic, reminding him painfully much of Leo who always spilled everything.

He handed Bran a cloth to dry the wine but he knew Stephanos would give him holy hell for dirtying their clothes with the only drink that was almost impossible to remove from their clothing.

''You should really ought to learn some _proper_ manners,'' he chided.

Bran grinned sheepishly at him and shrugged. ''I have manners, just not Roman ones,''

Cris rolled his eyes and clasped his fingers a little tighter around his cup. ''Clearly,''

''Well as I said, I wanted to discuss something with you, something important. Leo has told me about-'' Bran hesitated and gnawed on his lip. ''-his problem with allowing you, well with granting you access to- gods,''

''To his _entire_ body?'' Cris helped him out and Bran nodded, semi relieved, semi embarrassed.

He knew how awkward it must be for Bran to speak about sex with his brother's lover and he tried to keep his face as unreadable as he could. 

''Yes, and while I know that it must be hard for you to love someone so much and not completing that bond, I want to convince you that you have to be patient with him. For he will let you in, someday. He merely needs time to forget all his painful memories. It is very hard for him, because he trusts you with all his heart, only his body stifles and rejects itself from your touches. It is a normal response with rape victims, they cannot control their bodily reactions,''

''I know that, I won't force anything onto him. I promise you. And I will be patient in giving him as much time as he needs,''

Bran's expression became sad and he sighed deep. ''That is what I _swore_ to myself at first too. That I wouldn't mind waiting for him, that I would give him whatever he needed, but even I lost my patience and found it very hard to not take it out on him after waiting so many years,''

Cris took Bran's large hand into his own and shifted a little closer to the large man. _''Otter?''_ he asked and Bran nodded affirming, the hard features of his face softening at the mentioning of his friend's name.

He looked so serene suddenly that it made Cristiano's eyes moist.

He and Leo had speculated about them for a while now but neither one of them had been brave enough to ask their brother's for the truth.

''Did you force yourself onto him?'' Cris asked before he could stop himself, cursing his big mouth instantly for Bran's face faltered and turned an unpleasant shade of purple.

''No, I never forced myself on him! How can you even think that of me?''  
''I am sorry, I didn't mean-I was out of line asking you that,''

''Yes you were,'' Bran lashed out, obviously struggling to keep himself in control.  
''Did he ever let you in?''

Bran nodded slow. ''Yes but it took years and it was not easy. He has been through something so horrible that he never truly recovered from it, nor will he ever,''

''What happened to him? Was he used as a prostitute as well as Leo?''

''No, growing up in your father's household was good for him. Nobody there had ever laid a finger on him,''  
''Then what-''

''I cannot tell you, for it is not _my_ secret to reveal. It has to be his choice if he tells you. I only wanted to let you know that when you do get in, it is so worth it. All the long time that you spend waiting has been forgotten in the blink of an eye.

I know you love Leo, I know that, I saw it lingering between you from the start.

But you need to meet him halfway. Do not tease him too much when he is feeling aroused.

It is so hard on him, wanting you but not being able to give himself to you. He feels like he is disappointing you when that happens, and he feels awfully ashamed for not being strong enough to take it.

He was in our room crying his eyes out a few moments ago, whimpering and wailing how he hated himself and that it did not make any sense that his body kept rejecting your touches.

He is desperately craving to be closer to you, but he cannot do it yet.  
If you give him a little more time and more affirmation that you love him and don't mind waiting on him forever, it will help him.

I know he does not look like it, but Leo is in fact very insecure about himself. He thinks the he is far too ugly for you, too small and not muscular enough. We try to help him with his confidence but most of the times it's futile.

He honestly thinks the world of you and there is nobody who he would rather be with than you,'' Bran concluded and Cris exhaled loud.

His head was spinning from the hurtful information Bran had given him and his mind was torn with feeling sorry for Otter and feeing like a bad lover to Leo.

He clasped his fingers a little tighter around Bran's clammy ones and held them. ''Thank you my friend, I appreciate your honesty and your candor. I will take everything you said in consideration and will try to be better to Leo. Is he still in your room? I would like to apologize to him,''

''Yes he is still there, I think he was waiting for you,'' Bran said, smiling gentle.

When Cris had his hand on the door, he halted and turned back toward Bran, who was still sitting by the fire with Conor draped on his lap.  
''Do you really not mind it?'' he asked and Bran creased an eyebrow.

''Mind what?''  
''That your brother is in love with a Roman?''

Bran chuckled and rolled his brown eyes at Cris.  
''As long as you treat him right, I couldn't care less where you came from. Love is all that matters in life Cris,''

Cris raised a skeptical eyebrow at Bran. ''You don't really mean that,''

Bran pursed his lips together into a thin line. ''Well I have to admit that at first I was unconvinced when he told me about you. Seeing your heritage I feared that you had the wrong intentions with my brother, but you have been good to him and you love him. Therefore I have nothing to complain,''

Cris' lips twitched up and he nodded grateful. ''Thank you, I appreciate your kind words,''

''Yes, yes, now go and comfort my little brother, _you ingrate,''_ Bran teased, always the one who was a bit rough with his language.

Cris left their quarters and walked the short distance to Otter's chamber.

He knocked on the door and was being welcomed in by his brother.

Leo was laying on their sofa, face buried into a feather pillow and he was quivering rapidly. Guilt washed over Cris' heart and he stepped inside without saying a word to either of them.

Cris walked without hesitation to the sofa and laid down beside Leo, scooping his frail body and placing his head on his chest, as his arms and legs tangled around him.  
His hand roamed through Leo's hair and he placed a gentle kiss to his forehead.

Leo's tears had stained his pale cheeks and his face was red and puffy.

He sighed into Cris' neck and folded his fingers over Cris' lacing them together.

 _'I'm so sorry Leo,'_ Cristiano wanted to say, but no words came out of his mouth. Words were no longer necessary. With them they never had been.

The kiss Leo placed to his lips told Cris that he had already forgiven him.

 

 

 

 

 

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I'm not revealing Otter's secret just yet, but I would love to hear you guy's theories on what it is. 
> 
> I hope this was okay, I thought it would be only logical if Leo would be hesitant to having sex with Cris, considering his background. 
> 
> I also wanted to give Bran and Cris something to bond over, and Otter and Leo to do so as well. So they did. 
> 
> I hope you guys liked this! <3


	23. Time to say goodbye.

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> On the eve of their adventure, Leo attempts one final, risky plan to change the outcome.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So I had hoped to write something during christmas but it got a bit hectic here so unfortunately I didn't get the time to write. 
> 
> I hope this makes up for the wait. 
> 
> They are finally leaving the villa and starting their journey for the lost eagle. 
> 
> And there is some drama in this one.

_Leo_.

 

 

''Leo, did you pack the reserve tunics and cloaks?'' Cris asked and Leo eyed his lover.  
''Yes, you already asked me that a _hundredth_ times remember?''

''Oh right, sorry,'' Cris mumbled and he curled his arm around Leo's waist and pressed a light kiss to Leo's damp hair.

They had just returned from their afternoon bath and were making themselves ready for supper.  
''You have got to stop being so damned nervous about telling him,'' Leo told him.

Cris huffed arrogant but Leo knew it was a facade. ''I'm not nervous,''

''Yes you are,'' Leo contradicted him, ''In fact you are more wary about telling your uncle we're leaving then you are of actually going north, which is what you should be nervous about. I know I am,''

The snows had been melting for days and Bran had announced that this would be the perfect time to leave for the north.  
Leo was dreading it immensely, which surprised him.

He had thought that the very idea of going back to his homeland would excite him, but at the moment it only seemed suicidal and like the worst idea in history.

Leo realized each moment that he had never had so much to lose than he did at this moment in his life.

He had _finally_ found his brother again after thinking for years that he had no one left besides Isbeil and he had found the man of his dreams.

Both of them would be in grave danger every second they would spend in the rural, treacherous territory of the north.

Also Otter's life would be at risk and Leo loved how fast the cheerful brute had made its way into his heart. He was technically Cris' _'brother'_ but Leo considered him family as well.

Leo didn't like the feeling of having so much to lose.  
Of feeling so responsible for other people's lives.

He prayed that Cristiano could simply let the need for the eagle go but he knew that it was never going to happen. Cris was far too honorable for that.

Leo had tried to persuade Bran and Otter of staying behind for weeks now but they refused to listen.

He knew that Cristiano silently agreed with him and that a part of him wished that they stayed behind where it was safe but he never tried to talk them out of going with them.

Bran and Otter always said that they couldn't understand what it was like to be an older brother and that the need to protect their _little ones_ was so powerful that nothing would be able to prevent them from going with them.

Leo knew that another more rational side of Cris didn't want to part with them and actually needed them to come along for his own sense of safety. Leo couldn't deny that bringing two seasoned warriors along would make him feel safer as well.

None of it mattered anyway because their brothers were far too stubborn not to come along.

Bran and Otter were simply too adamant on protecting their little brothers and shrugged all Leo's arguments away as if their own safety meant nothing to them.

They even argued that they had to come for only Otter knew the exact location of the seal people and therefore the fastest route to the eagle.  
Leo couldn't possibly argue with that so he gritted his teeth and pretended as if he had accepted defeat.

The truth was that he had one last plan to ensure that their brothers would stay in the villa. It was very risky and he would definitely get in trouble with everyone for his actions but he no longer saw any other options.

''I'm going to the kitchens to get some bread for in the saddle bags,'' Leo announced and Cris nodded as he fed Conor a piece of raw, chopped up deer.

The cubs were as large as middle sized dogs now and Leo was glad they would bring them along.  
''All right, I am going to tell my uncle of our plans. Wish me luck,'' Cris sighed.

''Good luck,'' Leo said and he stood on his toes to kiss Cris' lips and left the room.

Leo walked to the kitchen with Maeve following close behind and opened the door to the delicious aroma's of Stephanos' excellent cooking.

''Hello Leo, my dear boy,'' the old man greeted and Leo placed his hand on the man's shoulder and smiled.

''Hello Stephanos, do you need a hand?''  
''Oh no, I'm fine. Please sit and take a breather,'' the old slave murmured and he stirred the chicken soup around with his wooden ladle.

Maeve curled herself like a ball near the fire and stared at the flames like she always did. Stephanos crouched down to pat her head briefly, before turning back to cutting his bread.   

''Did you get it?'' Leo asked, voice tight and low and the old man nodded.

''Yes, although I have to say that I am-''

''Against this idea, yes I _know_. You already told me that a lot of times,''

Stephanos frowned accusing but fished the small vial from his pocket and handed it to Leo.  
''Three drops in their soup should do the trick,''

''How long will it work?'' Leo asked, mauling over everything that could go wrong if he used the vial.  
''Four, maybe five days, if fortune is with you,''

''And you can promise me that it won't kill them?''  
''Yes as long as you only give them three drops they will be fine,''

All sort of horrible scenarios played themselves out in Leo's mind.

They wouldn't eat the soup, they would not fall asleep from it but die in the process, they would find out what he had been plotting...

_No, he told himself. You need to stay focused. You have to do this._

''Thank you my friend,'' Leo said and he poured the soup into bowls and heard his brother rumble around in the other room. The rough scraping of chairs and raised voices emerged from the dining hall.

Leo's heart pounded in his chest as he cautiously let three drops fall into a bowl of soup, and three in the other. His fingers trembled as he put the vial back in his clothes.

He stirred the soup with a wooden spoon and placed the bowls on a tray.

Along with Stephanos he stepped out of the kitchen, begging that Bran would be seated directly adjacent to Otter, otherwise it would be suspicious if he handed them the bowls when they weren't anywhere near each other.

Luckily for him, he saw that they were in fact seated on each other's side as they had done ever since they arrived at the villa. Leo was grateful that patterns usually didn't change.

Cristiano and his uncle had not yet returned but the raised voices and hurried footsteps told him that they were not far behind.

Leo placed the bowls of soup in front of them and smiled at Bran, who eyed him with his ever blank expression.

''Thank you Leo,''

''You are welcome brother,'' Leo said and he gave his brother the sweetest smile he had ever given anyone hoping that he would not behave suspicious enough for his brother to suspect anything.

Stephanos set the bowls of soup on the table and placed the carafes of red wine on the table.

Leo sat down next to Bran and poured his brother and Otter some red wine.  
Cris and his uncle sat down at the table and Leo could tell that the old man was fuming with rage.

''I am truly disappointed in you Leo,'' the old man snapped and Leo felt heat rising to his cheeks.  
''I am sorry to hear such words domine,''

The ice blue eyes narrowed sharply. ''No you are not. How can you even think to succeed with this lunacy? You are surely going to get the four of you killed out there!''

''We will be fine domine, I can protect myself and I will die defending your nephew, my brother and his companion,'' Leo ensured him and from the corner of his eye he saw Bran taking his ladle and raising it to his lips.

He blew on the content of his soup and ate it, slurping a bit as he always did. ''Hm this is good soup Leo,'' he complimented.  
''Oh no, Stephanos made it, not me,''

''Hey! Great soup old timer,'' Bran yelled into the kitchen and the old man appeared in the doorway and grinned amused.  
''You are too kind,''

Otter took a sip of it, nodded affirming and raised his thumb. ''No he's right, it is _really_ good soup today,''

Leo's jaw tightened despite himself and he pursed his lips together, hoping that his expression would remain blank.

He folded his fingers in his lap when he noticed that his hands were quivering and hoped that nobody had noticed it.

Dinner was a mess of heated arguments between Cris and his uncle and Leo's nerves were slowly killing him. Leo had to force himself to eat to prevent raising suspicions but he was not at all in the mood for supper. 

He tried not to stare at his brother and Otter too much, for that would be too obvious but he couldn't help but gaze at them.

His brother and Otter didn't show any signs of the poison just yet and he worried if it had worked at all.

They had eaten the entire bowl of soup but for some reason they refused to go down. Maybe he should have used more of the content, considering their body weight and measurements.

Uncle Aquila had responded quite shocked to Cristiano telling him that they were leaving tomorrow morning but after a long, furious debate he consented, realizing that he had no actual chance of stopping them.

Bran's jaw twitched from time to time and Leo wondered if his stomach was hurting him. Flashes of guilt washes over him and he almost confessed to his deeds but he bit his tongue and held it.

Otter however, showed no signs of any discomfort and Leo involuntarily admired his inner strength.

''Well we must be off to bed, it's been a long day and we are riding out at first light,'' he mumbled, flashing a grin in Leo's direction that could mean everything or nothing at all.

''Are you all right Bran, you look quite pale,'' Cris asked and Leo groaned internally, swallowing deep.

''I'm fine Cris, just drank too much I'm afraid,'' Bran winked as he patted Cris' shoulder and stumbled to his feet. Otter was beside him in an instant, wrapping his muscled arms around his lover and hauling him off to bed.

Bran's head was lulling on his shoulder and his jaw was dangling open, little drops of saliva trickling down his chin. 

''Sleep tight little man,'' Otter smiled at Leo and an ice cold shiver went over Leo's spine when Otter's blue, cold eyes met his.  
_He knew._ Somehow Otter knew what he had done.

How was it that he always knew everything that was going on between the four of them?  
Leo started to get slightly concerned that Otter might be an actual mind reader or something of the sort.

When Leo and Cris retreated themselves to their chambers, Otter was already present, sitting at the sofa with Maeve and Conor pressed against his side.

Little Bran was nowhere to be seen and Leo knew that he was sleeping in his brother's room again, which he had done for weeks now.

''Hello boys, sit down,'' Otter ordered, a hint of amusement dancing on his lips.

Cris and Leo sat down across from him and Leo couldn't resist taking Cris' hand into his own for comfort.

''What are you doing here?'' Leo asked, quite rudely but the suspense was eating at him. He had to know.

''Getting some answers out of you what else? Honestly Leo, poison? You know what they say don't you? It's a woman's weapon. I didn't take you for a coward,''

''Excuse me, _poison???''_ Cristiano barked out, staring at Leo with huge, shocked eyes.

He let go of Leo's hand and folded his arms together with a questioning expression on his beautiful face.

''Yes, he used poison on me and his brother, nightshade I assume, judging from the dry mouth and stomach pain.  
Luckily for us, I always carry a vial with antidote in my clothes. If you are raised around Romans, you learn a lot about poison and that the safest option is to always carry antidote with you,'' Otter said cooly.

Leo's head was spinning and nausea built up in his stomach.

''Leo?! Is this true?'' Cris asked, voice thinner than air.

The betrayal was evident in Cristiano's eyes and Leo felt his heart breaking.

He slowly folded their hands together and cradled Cris' cheeks forcing their eyes to meet.

All the usual warmth had vanished from not only Cris' hands but also his entire system.

''Yes I used a little bit of nightshade on them, but only to subdue them, not to harm them. I wanted them asleep for a couple of days so that we could leave without them,''

Cristiano's face turned dark with fury. ''Leave without them are you insane? We wouldn't last an hour out there without some help! How could you-I trusted you and now you poison my brother!''

Leo took a deep breath and replied as calm as he could, but the tears were dangerously close to streaming over his face. ''And I poisoned _mine_ as well. To protect them! Don't you understand? I had no choice! Death follows me wherever I go.

I couldn't risk losing our brothers after everything we had to endure to find them again.  
I was trying to keep them safe.  
Misfortune haunts me Cris, I'm a danger to everyone around me.

I can't lose them, you would never forgive me if we would get them killed, nor would I ever forgive myself. I wanted to poison you as well and go and find the eagle by myself and bring it back to you as a gift.  
But I couldn't do it, I was afraid that you would never look at me the same way if I would hold you back in your quest. So I gave them a small dosage of nightshade to make certain they would sleep for a few days,''

Cris shook his head furiously and inhaled deep. ''You had no _right_ to go behind my back like this! No right whatsoever!''

''Oh so I have no right to _protect_ you? To keep you safe? I think it's very normal for a man to want to protect the things that mean the most to him, the people he loves more than anyone in this world. I'm only guilty of doing that. I'm protecting what I can no longer live without. If you want to stay mad at me, fine! But I would do it again if I thought it would keep them safe,''

''Who the hell do you think you are? I cannot believe you Leo! This is so beyond anything I ever expected of you!''

''I am the man who _loves_ you! That is who I think I am! Why don't you go and-''

Otter let out a loud cough and landed his massive hands on theirs. ''Stop this you two, you are giving me a raging headache! By all the gods, you two are relentless in your stupid arguments aren't you? Yes Cris he went behind your back and poisoned us, to keep us _safe_.  
Is that truly such a crime? Wanting to protect the people you love? And I know that a part of you did not want us to come for the same reason as well, so don't be such a hypocrite because he had enough balls to act on it and you didn't,''

Cris turned a little red at the insult but pursed his lips together defiantly. Too proud to admit that he was wrong, as usual.

''And you Leo,'' Otter said, turning his attention to Leo who felt his heart hammering in his ears. ''Stop hiding such things from my brother. Cris has a loathing for secrets, you should know that by now.  
Now you will have to learn to _accept_ that I am coming with you tomorrow and so is Bran. Did I make myself clear or do I need to smack it into you two stubborn mules?''

Cris and Leo exchanged a glare and Cris took Leo's hand into his own, giving him a small forgiving smile.  
''No we got it, thank you,'' Leo sniffed.

''Good, now if you will excuse me. I have a sick partner to tend to. Thank you for keeping us up all night Leo, we appreciate it,'' Otter winked sarcastic and Leo sighed.  
''I'm sorry for giving you nightshade, I really am,''

''Gods you are the worst liar in history, even worse than your brother,'' Otter noted and Cris laughed heartedly.  
''Well you got that right,''

Otter kissed the wolves on their soft heads and patted their flank. ''Good night my little monsters, behave yourself would you?'' he cooed and Maeve licked his hand lovingly.

''They really adore you,'' Leo smiled and Otter flaunted. ''Of course they do, I already told you: all animals and little children love me,''

''Apparently they do, good night Otter,'' Cris grinned and the tall man smirked deep. ''Sleep tight you two, and try not to kill each other when I'm gone all right?''  
''We'll try not to Otter,'' Leo ensured him.

''That's a relief,'' Otter snorted and he left the room quietly like a mouse. They barely heard the door closing behind him.

How such a gigantic man could be that silent was beyond Leo's understanding.

A long and tensed silence filled the air between them and the only thing Leo heard was the deep intakes and releases of breath that Cris let out.  
''Come on, let's go to bed,'' Cris said and he stood up from the sofa, leading Leo by his hand to their bed.

''I can sleep in my old cot if you want me to,'' Leo offered but Cris snorted loud.

''Don't be ridiculous, you are sleeping right here with me. It is the last night in probably months where we can sleep on a nice soft bed under a thick, warm blanket instead of knee deep in dirt. Besides, I want to hold you close, while I still can,''

Cris slipped Leo's tunic over his head, revealing his bare, smooth chest and he stroked his fingers over the soft skin.

Cris removed his own tunic as well and tugged Leo down on the bed beside him, cradling Leo's head to his warm chest, running his fingers through Leo's hair.

Leo didn't particularly liked it to sleep in his breeches, but he knew that he had to get used to sleeping in actual clothes instead of lying there naked when they were in the wilderness.

Besides, if they took their breeches off, things tended to heat up between them and Leo knew instinctively that Cris was not in the mood for any pleasantries at the moment.

He wrapped his arm around Cris' chest and placed a couple small kissed into Cris' neck.

The warm skin shivered under his lips and Leo knew that Cris was getting aroused by his touches, no matter how little and insignificant they seemed.

Cris exhaled deep, moaned a little and tugged Leo closer so that his lips could reach Leo's.

Their kiss was surging, hungry and sloppy and for a few moments Leo nearly forgot to breath. Even now, Cris' lips onto his felt so special that it nearly took his breath away.

Cris liked to take control of their kisses and Leo loved to let him, eager to please his lover in whichever way he liked.

Their lips parted after a long time and Cris snuggled Leo's head into the nook of his shoulder.

''Go to sleep love, it's a big day tomorrow,'' he mumbled into Leo's hair, kissing his forehead.  
''Good night Cris,'' Leo smiled, leaning up to kiss Cris' lips one more time.

''Good night Leo,''

When Leo was certain that Cristiano was sound asleep, he removed himself out of his lover's arms and legs and slipped into his tunic.

Knowing that he wouldn't get any sleep tonight regardless, he decided to check on his brother's condition. The guilt of not knowing how he was was gnawing away at him. 

He walked on his toes toward the doorway and saw Maeve and Conor opening their eyes, staring curiously as to where he was going. ''Shhh,'' Leo whispered, pressing a finger to his lips, begging that they wouldn't start barking.

Luck smiled on him tonight for the cubs simply shut their eyes again and slept on.  
He opened the door and walked the short distance to his brother's room, knocking twice on the large door.

''Come on in,'' Otter's voice cried out and Leo slid the door open.  
''Hello Leo,'' Otter said before he had even seen him.

''How did you even know it was me?''

''Who else would come into our room in the middle of the night to see if his brother is doing all right,'' Otter smirked and Leo blushed when he saw his brother laying in his bed with Otter behind him, arms wrapped firmly around Bran.

He had never actually seen them be intimate before, for they always kept their distance in the villa and the mere sight of them sharing a bed made Leo twitch uncomfortably.

Somehow he simply could not imagine his brother having sex with another man, nor did he want to think about it.

Which was hypocritical of course, considering how much Leo would love to have sex with Cris someday.

Bran and Otter were both bare chested and Leo wondered if they were wearing breeches or underclothes.  
When he saw Otter placing a soft kiss to Bran's unshaven cheek, Leo felt the strange urge to cry at the endearing sight of them together.

''What is it? You look like you've seen a ghost,'' Otter noticed and Leo sniffed. ''I am so glad he has you Otter, that's all. My brother deserves someone who loves him and you give your heart and soul to him without hesitation. That is so beautiful,''

''Well I can assure you that it was not always _easy_  but yes, I love your brother. He is the best thing that could have happened to someone like me. He saved me, not the other way around. I may have pulled him out of the dirt and took him into my care, but it was still him that rescued me. Who _healed_ me,''

''Otter? What happened to you? What did they do to you?''

''I am sorry Leo, but I cannot tell you the truth just yet. It hurts me to even think about it, let along speak the words out loud. Some secrets are meant to remain buried,''

''Maybe but it might help you to heal when you talk about it,''  
''I do talk about it, with him,'' Otter said, nodding to Bran.

''Can you two please be quiet, I'm trying to sleep here,'' Bran murmured and Otter sighed relieved, suddenly looking younger and more alive than Leo had ever seen him before.

''Aw were you worried about me again? That's adorable,'' Bran teased as he slid his brown eyes open and kissed Otter's cheek.  
_''Shut up, I was not,''_

''You totally were,''

''Bran, can I um-'' Leo started but his voice faltered.

Bran patted on the bed and gestured Leo to come over to sit beside him on the blanket.

Otter filled a cup with water and handed it to Bran who drank it eagerly and also downed the second cup in mere seconds.

''You don't have to say anything Leo, I know _why_ you did it,'' Bran said and he patted Leo's hair, tugging him close to his side, wrapping his arm around Leo's body.

''You do?'' Leo asked surprised.

''Of course, you tried to protect us by poisoning us. Oldest trick in the world. I'm impressed actually, I didn't think you would be able to do it. I owe Otter a debt now, for we made a bet and he turned out to be right,''

''And you're not mad at me?'' Leo asked and his brother laughed heartedly. ''Mad at you? I've never been more proud,''

Leo shook his head, disbelieving. ''You are so weird sometimes,''

''I guess I am,'' Bran chuckled and he placed a kiss to Leo's forehead. ''Now go to bed, it is late,''  
''But I'm not tired yet and I cannot seem to fall asleep,''

''Go do something useful then, like bothering someone else,'' Bran suggested and Otter choked in his water, chuckling amused.

Leo sighed deep, realizing that they craved their privacy. ''Fine, I'll go,''

A small part of him had hoped he could stick around a little longer, so that he wouldn't have to spend the long night on his own, but apparently his brother had other plans and needed his privacy to achieve them.

''Good night,'' Otter said and he ruffled his hand through Leo's hair.  
''Good night little one,'' Bran mused and he embraced Leo tight before he released him and Leo shuffled out of their chamber.

Leo went back into his own quarters and curled up in their bed, but no sleep came to him that night.

He spend hours worrying over their upcoming quest and when the morning came he was still wide awake, already feeling exhausted, before they had even left.

They packed breakfast for the road that Stephanos had prepared for them and saddled their horses in silence.

When the first sunbeams came creaking through the clouds, the time had come to say farewell to uncle Aquila and Stephanos.

Uncle Aquila stepped forward and handed Bran a long sword that Leo recognized as a Roman design. ''My gift to you Bran. My own sword from when I rode into battle as a young man. It remains sharp until this very day and it will never miss its mark, when wielded properly. You will do me the honor of using it to protect my family won't you?''

Bran studied the long sword critically and nodded affirming. ''I will my lord. It is a fine sword, excellent craftsmanship as it seems. It would be my honor to use it,''

''Thank you, now for your companion I have another gift,'' Uncle Aquila said and he pulled out a beautiful looking bow.

''I had it specially made for you a few weeks ago, as a thank you for repairing the roof, but I do hope I got your measurements right,'' the old man said, gnawing his lower lip hesitant.

Otter's jaw faltered slightly as he accepted the long bow and laced his fingers around the string. ''It is beautiful my lord, I don't know how to thank you,''  
''Well you can thank me by using it to defend my nephew and your family,''

''I will guard them with my life, don't you worry about that,'' Otter ensured him and uncle Aquila looked content. He turned to Cris and Leo and handed them two of his private collection of daggers. They were sharp and beautifully decorated with red emeralds and they store them away into their boots.

The old man embraced all four of them affectionately and Stephanos did the same. He whispered in Leo's ear that he had put some extra partridge in their saddle bags so they could have a proper dinner.

The four of them mounted their horses and rode off, the wind caressing through their hair. The cubs ran ahead of the horses, jumping up and down expectantly, looking forward to their adventure.

Leo however, turned around to look at the villa one last time before it disappeared behind the horizon and he swallowed hard.

Moire turned her head to him and he patted her neck lovingly.  
It was as if she could sense his sadness.

They would not see the villa for a long time, that much was for certain and Leo felt a lump form in his throat at the thought of the task that lay ahead of them.

This was a goodbye that weighed harder on Leo than he could have predicted.

He turned to Cris, who was seated on a large white horse to his left and saw the held back tears on his lovers face. Strangely it made him feel better, to know that he was not the only one who was upset with leaving their home.

Leo pulled himself together and focused his attention to the adventure that laid before them.  
Bran and Otter rode in front and when Bran turned around to smile at Leo, he felt a load tumble off his shoulders.

He was with his family, and as long as he had them with him, he didn't have to be afraid of the future.

 

 

 

 

 

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Oh god, I'm stilllll not revealing Otter's secret. I'm so mean. 
> 
> It will come out, I promise you guys. 
> 
> I hoped this was worth the wait and that you liked it. Leo poisoning his family, who knew he had it in him right? 
> 
> Thank you again for the continuous support, kudos and messages! It means the world to me <3


	24. Into the wild.

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> The party sets out for the north and camps out near the wall. 
> 
> Cristiano walks into something he should not have seen. Revelations are finally made about Otter's secret.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I'm sorryyyyyy for being away so long. But my laptop has been giving me a hard time and I don't have the money to buy a new one. 
> 
> Also I've been busy with job interviews and sending out resumes and such. My writers block didn't exactly help either. 
> 
> But I'm back now, even though it took me three days to finish this and I've struggled all the way through this chapter. I'm still not sure if I like it very much, but I'll leave it here for you guys to determine. 
> 
> Hope it was worth the wait.  
> At least the secret finally gets out.

_Cristiano_.

 

 

 

 

To his own surprise it had taken Cristiano a couple of days to truly adjust to life on the road once again.

Living a luxury life in his uncle's villa had come with many privileges and comforts, all of which he was forced to surrender now that they were on their way to the north.

Cristiano certainly had never been a snob and his military training had prepared him for living in bare and rural climates, and yet after a day or two he found himself wondering _why_ they had left in the first place.

He missed his uncle and his clever wits, his warm feather bed, the comfortable sofas, Stephanos delicious cooking and his daily cups of expensive wine.

He had been quite reluctant to bring the cubs along, ever worrying for their safety but their cheerful and soothing presence comforted him.

They made him feel less empty and alone.

For he felt incredibly _lonely_ at times, being the only Roman between the three Britons, all of which had given up their Latin speech the day they left the villa. Leo was the only one who sporadicly spoke Latin to him these days.

It was his own fault really, for he had requested that they spoke their native tongue around him so that he could learn it well enough to survive out in the north, but the constant listening and not understanding of the words exhausted him terribly.

He had not felt this lonely in years.

Suddenly he understood precisely how miserable Leo must have felt when he had to walk among Romans after they had ripped him out of his homeland. How difficult it must have been to only understand shards of what was going on around him.

Cris didn't want to complain about his feelings so he kept them pretty much to himself but once again he had underestimated the people around him.

When Otter lovingly patted him on his back and told him to stop sulking he growled agitated and gritted his teeth.

How was it that he _always_ seemed to know what he was thinking or feeling?

It was unfair really, knowing that he would never be able to keep a thought or a secret solely to himself.

Otter was clearly cheating seeing how they grew up together, making him an expert in reading Cris' emotions and thoughts.

But both Otter _and_ Bran had a born talent for observing situations, people and surroundings.

Their lives had taught them that on a very young age.

It comforted Cris to know that if there would be dangers on their path, that they would surely notice it before he could.

But still, he missed the days where he was able to keep a thought to himself without everyone knowing about it.

It had rained for four days straight and the icy air filled their lungs continuously when they made camp on the fifth night, seeing the large wall dooming up on the horizon.

They were nearly there. Finally.

Nearly at the edge of the Roman world, ready to leave the _civilized_ world behind and exchange it for the unfamiliar wildness of the north.

Otter and Bran had killed three rabbits, skinned them and put them on a pit over a fire, preparing supper as they did every night, seeing how they were the best hunters and Leo didn't like to leave Cris alone at camp.

They took the cubs with them each night, attempting to teach them how to hunt for their food but so far they had been unsuccessful.

The cubs liked to chase after the rabbits, practically following anything that ran, but when it came down to it, they didn't understand that they had to kill them.

Otter told them that they would probably learn it when they grew hungry and their natural instincts took over.

Dinner was never a quiet affair.

Bran and Otter loved to sing Gaelic songs about their gods and their stories and the cubs partook by barking along with the rhythm.

They made _'music'_ by using tree branches to rumble on and Otter brought a wooden flute like instrument along that made a hight pitched noise.

Cris had never seen such an artifact before and for a moment he had been fascinated by it, until Otter proved that he was a far better hunter than he was a musician.  
The first time he blew on it, Cris had to resist the urge to cover his ears.

As a Roman, Cris was used to far better musicians than this.

But he refused to complain about it, knowing that they would tell him to shut his mouth regardless.

Their already poor manners seemed to have dissolved completely now that they had left the villa and came closer to the north.

Leo handed him a small wooden bowl with baked rabbit in it and Cris accepted it absent minded.

''Are you all right? You barely said anything all day,'' Leo asked in Latin, and he placed his warm hand over Cris' cold one.

''Hm I'm fine Leo,''

''You're not, I can tell you're not. What's wrong?''  
''I'm merely _tired_ , that is all,''

''You are not tired, but you are feeling quite miserable,'' Leo concluded and Cris sighed deep.  
''Yes I am miserable, well spotted,''

''Well are you going to tell me why?''

''No, I know all of my feeling and emotions are apparently wide open for everyone here to obtain but I would like to keep some of them to myself,'' he snapped.  
Bran and Otter exchanged a knowing glance but said nothing.

Leo frowned and clenched his fingers tighter around Cris', entwining them. ''If you're not feeling well then it is _my_ business Cris and only mine. Everything you feel is important to me, you should know that by now,''

Cris felt his insides warm at the tender words and he stroked a lock of long brown hair from Leo's forehead and curled it behind his ear, clasping onto his cheek with his hand.

''I know and I love you for that, but you have to let me have some thoughts and emotions to myself, otherwise I will go insane. Some privacy is important to me. Please,''

Leo creaked an eyebrow and swallowed. ''Is this about the poison? Do you still resent me for it?''

''No it's not about that,''

''Are you absolutely _certain_ about that? Because you've been avoiding me ever since we left,''

Cris sighed deep and prayed to the gods for patience.

Why did Leo _have_ to be like this? Why couldn't he ever let anything go?

Yes a part of Cris was still slightly resentful toward Leo for poisoning their brothers, mostly because he never in a thousand years would have thought that Leo would be able to do such a horrible thing to the people they loved.

But he liked to think that he had forgiven him for it, clearly Leo thought otherwise. Maybe Leo simply knew him too well.

They still slept pressed against each other on the cold dirt each night, but that was mostly to stay warm.

The lack of privacy held Cris back in his romantic advances toward Leo.

A part of him craved to kiss Leo senseless, to press their bodies together in every way possible but their brothers were always sleeping a few meters away and with Otter's light sleeping patterns he didn't dare to risk it.

Cristiano was wondering if he was not using that excuse to unknowingly distance himself from Leo.

Maybe he was still a lot angrier with him for his recklessness with the poison than he even realized.

''I've not been avoiding you in purpose Leo, but I have been feeling a bit lonely to be honest,'' Cris admitted and Otter shot Bran a triumphant grin. ''Told you, you owe me a piece of silver,''

''Gods, you bet on us again? Can't you find another way to spend your time,'' Cris groaned, knowing that Bran and Otter loved to place bets on their love life.

Bran fished a coin out of his pocket and threw it to Otter who caught it with a giant smirk. 

Otter always won most of their bets, seeing how he was the best observer.

''We _always_ do kids, oh don't look at me like that. We have to do something to entertain ourselves when we're out here doing nothing but riding all day!'' Otter said defensively and Bran nodded compliant as he took a bite of the rabbit that was dangling on his wooden stick.

''He's right, there isn't much else to do but watch you two squabble and argue like children,''

''We bet on you two a lot, but _you_ miss most of it because we say it in Gaelic,'' Otter added and Leo stroked Cris' back with his slender fingers. ''Stop teasing him you two. It is very hard to live among people and to not have a clue as to what they are saying to one another. I know what it's like, growing up among Romans. Most of the days I felt so alone that I was certain I would die of the emptiness,''

Cristiano felt his cheeks heat up in embarrassment.

Why did Leo have to belittle him like this? Why couldn't he let him speak for himself.

He felt like an insignificant toddler that was being defended by his older brother for something he had done to himself.

''He asked us to only speak Gaelic,'' Bran argued and Leo rolled his eyes at his brother. ''Yes I realize that, but we have to stop that, he is feeling left out,''

Cris cleared his throat loudly and lost his patience. ''Will you two _please_ stop speaking about me like I'm not even here! I am not a child! Yes I was feeling a bit left out but it is necessary for me to learn Gaelic!  
If they hear me speak Latin out there they will kill me. And Leo, stop fighting my battles for me and telling me how I feel. I'm not a helpless pup that needs rescuing,''

He rose to his feet, wrapped his cloak around his shoulders and stormed off. ''Where are you going?!'' he heard Leo yell.

''I'm going to tend to the horses!'' he shouted back, crossing the short distance to the trees where they had bound the four horses they brought with them.

Cris always went to the horses whenever he needed a little respite from the other men in the camp.

He took some carrots and apples from the saddle bags that were draped on the hard soil and made his way to Moire, stroking her neck lovingly, pressing a kiss to her raven forehead.

''Hello my love, how are you feeling?'' he mused and Moire neighed soft and held back.

''You're tired aren't you? It's been a long and exhausting ride today so I wouldn't blame you,'' he revealed the carrot to her and felt her warm lips sliding over his hand, gently taking the carrot into her mouth and chewing it with a creaking noise.

Her damp breath ghosted over his cheek.

''You know what darling, I'm tired too. Tired of never having a moment to myself to think whatever I want. Tired of having all my emotions revealed whether I like it or not. I'm just exhausted,'' he admitted and he draped his arm around her manes and buried his face in the warm hairs of her neck.

She made happy, approving noises and her large head came around his back, rubbing him more gentle than usual.

Cris smiled into her neck and felt himself warm at the unconditional love that animals could give humans. It was such a rare and beautiful form of love.

Completely selfless and eternal.

Animals never wanted anything in return for their love, they simply gave it to you, whether you deserved it or not.

A part of him had expected Leo to come and look for him, to see if he was all right, but he was glad that he didn't.

For once Leo seemed to understand that he needed to be on his own for a little while, processing his emotions and thoughts.

He stood like that with her for a long time, maybe even hours before he finally released her, kissed her head and turned to the other horses.

Bran's horse was a giant, gentle brown stallion which he had called Adair, which meant oak grove.  
It was a kind but sturdy animal, who liked to ride on the front of the group, leading them on steadily and strong.

Otter rode an equally large white stallion called Donall, which meant stranger in Gaelic.

Donall loved to court Moire but always found himself disappointed whenever she bared her teeth at him, making it clear that she was not interested in his advances.

Cris' own horse was a white stallion called Caeden.

He gave him a proper Gaelic name to prevent questions in the north. The name meant: the soul of battle.

Cristiano found that meaning so beautiful when Otter suggested the name that he instantly decided on that name.

Caeden was quite the temperamental horse, a tad skittish from time to time and he loved to make trouble with the other two stallions, but he was mostly friendly.

Cris fed him some carrots and twirled his fingers through his long manes. ''How are you doing Caeden? Are you all right?'' he murmured and his horse made a small grunting noise.

''Tomorrow Leo is going to ride you instead of me, it's my day with Moire,'' he told Caeden.

He and Leo switched between their horses, mostly because Cris had grown very attached to Moire, but also because they wanted Caeden to be familiar with other riders in case something happened to Moire, Donall or Adair.

When Cris had finally calmed himself a little, he pulled it together and decided to walk back to the campfire.

On the way back however, he took a wrong turn and found Otter squatting behind a three, making pained grunting sounds.

For a moment he thought that his brother was emptying his bowels but when he looked closer he saw water dripping into the soil.

Otter was relieving himself.

Now that Cris thought about it, he couldn't remember ever seeing Otter join them when they took a pee break along the way.

He always peed in private, which hadn't seemed that unusual to Cris or Leo, for they simply assumed that he had a shy bladder, but now...

Slowly the missing parts of the puzzle started to lay themselves out for Cris in his head, and yet he still did not understand most of it.

Cris' heart pounded in his ears as he tried to slip away, but in his attempts he clumsily stepped on a branch, which snapped, alerting his brother of his presence.

Otter turned his head so fast that Cris feared for his neck muscles and a look of shock washed over his scarred face.

He rose to his feet, closing his breeches rapidly and started ranting, panic washing over his features. ''Were you spying on me? By the gods Cris, how could you! I would have told you about all of this eventually! But for you to do such a thing to me! How dare you! I can't-''

Cris quickly stepped forward and closed his hand over his brother's lips in a desperate attempt to explain himself. ''Shhh I didn't spy on you! I was tending to the horses and I took a wrong turn when I walked back to camp, that's all! I would never spy on you. It was an accident, I swear. And I have no idea what you're talking about, you have a shy bladder, right?''

Otter rolled his eyes at him and clasped onto his shoulders, digging his fingers deep into Cris' skin. ''How _thick_ are you Cris? If I had a shy bladder, I would still pee standing up!''

''What are you saying exactly? I don't quite understand what you're talking about,'' Cris mused and Otter sighed deep and annoyed.

As if he couldn't understand how Cris could be this stupid.

''Fine, but not here, I will tell you everything back at camp. Leo needs to hear it too, it was about time that the truth would come out anyway,''

Otter wrapped his black cloak around his shoulders and led him back to camp where Leo and Bran were learning the cubs commands in Gaelic, ordering them to sit and give them a paw.

They looked up when they saw Cris and Otter returning and seized their lesson. ''Are you all right?'' Leo asked concerned when he saw Cris' pale complexion.  
''Fine, Otter has something to tell us,''

Bran's dark eyes connected with Otter's and he raised an eyebrow. ''Are you certain that the time is right?''

''Yes, Cris stumbled on me while-well you know,'' Otter said and a deep blush crept over his cheeks.

''Ah I see,'' Bran nodded with a knowing expression in his honey colored eyes.

''Will someone _please_ tell me what is going on?'' Leo asked impatient and Cris sat down next to him, placing his hand on Leo's.

''Well if I'm going to tell this, I need some tea first. Although I wish we hadn't finished the red wine yesterday, I could use some,'' Otter chimed and Bran put the kettle over the fire, preparing the four of them some nettle tea.

When he handed them the cups a long and tensed silence filled the chilly air between them.

Leo and Cris waited politely for Otter to start his story but the sturdy man seemed to have the words stuck in his throat suddenly, while tears shimmered in his blue eyes.

''I can't tell them, will you do it for me?'' Otter asked his lover and Bran cradled his arm around his back and kissed his pale cheek tender.

''Of course, drink your tea, it will make you feel a little better,'' he ordered and Otter shot him a faint smile. ''Thank you,''  
Cristiano had to swallow at the mere sight of them.

It was the first time he had seen Bran kiss Otter in public.

Usually they kept their affections pretty much to themselves and kept their distance.

The intense love that lingered between them in the smallest of gestures was so pure, so sincere that it almost made his eyes water.  
Bran drank his tea and entwined his fingers with Otter's, sliding closer to him, pressing their bodies together for support.

''When Otter was a small boy, before he was bought by Cris' father, he was taken in by Roman slave catchers, as he has told you before.

What he left out however was the treatment they gave him. He befriended another boy in the holding cell who was nearly starving to death. So when they were lead near the kitchens, Otter stole a loaf of bread and handed it to the boy.

But he got caught for stealing from his masters.

As you two know, Romans aren't the most forgiving people when it comes to their slaves and their misbehavior.  
They dragged Otter down to the dungeons and tortured him for two days,'' Bran said and he halted for a while to press Otter's face down against his shoulder.

The large, usually cheerful man, was already crying, his cheeks hot with shame and the ghosts of his past.

Cris' heart was hammering in his ears.

After all the speculating and curiosity to Otter's secret, he suddenly felt unsure whether he wanted to know the truth or not.

But it seemed that he had no choice in the matter. He was going to hear it, whether he liked it or not.

Bran took a deep breath, steadied himself and continued his story. ''When they were through with torturing him, they pulled out a knife, heated it in the fireplace and brought it to him. They spoke to him and yet he understood nothing of their words.  
He wanted to explain himself to them, but they couldn't hear his pleas. They did not listen and before he could take another breath, they tore his breeches off and unmanned him, cutting him root and stem,''

Otter let out a muffled shout at the words and Bran cradled him deeper into his arms, as if he wanted to shield him from all the pain in the world he had been forced to endure.

Cris felt so shocked that he could barely breathe. His brother was a _eunuch_. An actual _eunuch._

Like the one his mother used to have when he was growing up, a surely bald man who she loved to ridicule and mock for his mutilation.

Cris had always done his best to be kind to the man, taking pity at his condition. 

It was fairly rare for Romans to not only take a man's balls but also his penis and Cristiano suddenly understood why Otter had held Bran at distance for so long before they became lovers.

Why he had made it so difficult for him.

Otter was not a _'real'_ man in his own eyes, and that knowledge had nearly destroyed their relationship.

Leo shifted beside him, eyes nearly falling out of their sockets and Otter gazed at them, a fire lighting up in his blue eyes. ''See they can't even look at me anymore without thinking that I'm not a man but a woman! This is why I never wanted to tell them the truth! Whenever someone knows the truth they discard me!!!''

His words cut through Cristiano's heart like a dagger and he rose from his seat and sat down beside his brother, cradling his pained face with both of his hands, forcing their eyes to meet.

''Listen to me,'' he ordered but Otter averted his eyes and shook his head.

''I said, listen to me!!! I'm not going to ask you again!'' Cris warned, a fierceness in his voice that he did not even recognize as his own.

Otter finally met his eyes and obeyed.

''You are _not_ a woman! A penis does not make someone a true man.

You raised me as if I was your own brother, taught me how to fight, taught me how to be hard but also kind. I owe everything that I am today to you. And you are one of the toughest men I ever met.

Gods Otter you are a master swordsman, a brilliant bowman, an excellent wrestler and you can wield two axes at once. You are practically a trained mercenary and you're the hardest man I ever met.

Don't you ever dare to tell me that you are not a real man because of what those animals did to you.  
You are more of a man than I can ever hope to be. I love you because you are my brother. You hear me! My _brother_ , not my sister! Do you understand me?'' Cristiano chided.

Otter gave him a small smile as a reward for his efforts but Cris could tell that his words had little effect on him.

''Don't you think that I already told him all of this information a thousand times over the past couple of years?'' Bran retorted, clenching Otter's hand into his own.  
''I guess you did yes,'' Cris admitted.

''Yes I did, and it doesn't work like this in his head.  
Look we can't ever attempt to understand what this feels like all right?

Losing your manhood is something so horrible that he never truly recovered from it, nor will he ever. It is his burden to bear, and therefor also mine.

Because I love him and to me he will never be any less of a man. But he knows this. Only it doesn't change anything. He is still unmanned, and that will never change. Nor will it never stop affecting him the way that it does. Some wounds cut too deep, they can never truly be healed,''

Cristiano didn't know what to say and neither did Leo.

The words had impacted them on so many levels that they felt incredibly disheartened and distraught.

There was not anything left to say, all the words had been uttered.

So they walked forward and pulled Otter into a tight embrace, holding him tight in their arms.

Saying all the things that their words never could. Assuring him that it was all right, that they would love him despite of his mutilation.

_And yes, somehow he knew that._

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So Otter is a eunuch! Who guessed that right? 
> 
> I put you guys on the wrong path with him not bathing with the guys, leading to many people thinking he had a phobia of water. But no he simply didn't want to show his 'female' parts. 
> 
> I hope you guys liked this chapter, let me know what you think.  
> Thanks to everyone for supporting this and leaving me notes and kudos!! <3


	25. It's gonna take a lot to drag me away from you.

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> The group passes the wall and enters the wilderness of the north.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So I know I disappeared again and for far too long this time.  
> I'm very sorry about that, but I hope this makes up for the long wait. I'm trying to write a book of my own, to publish here in my own country, so that is taking up a lot of time. And my mom has been sick for a while, leaving me with most of the care. 
> 
> I hope you guys like the update. It isn't perfect but it's better than nothing I guess.

_Leo_.

 

 

 

 

Three long and rainy days later they had finally reached the wall and told the guards that they wanted to pass through the gates.

The Roman guards laughed skeptically at their request and told them to turn around quickly, for there was no chance they could survive north of the wall.

Hadn't they heard that the world ended here?

Cris, being the only Roman of the group, ordered them to open the gates, regardless of their arguments and the Romans laughed again, mockingly stating that it was their funeral and let them pass.

They drove their horses deep into the vast woods and halted for the night. Luckily the rain had finally stopped pouring down, giving everyone the chance to get warm and dry again. 

Leo had thought that coming back to his home country would stir something inside of his heart, but it did nothing to him.

He felt like a stranger entering a world he had not seen since he was a small boy.

He did not recognize _anything_ , and the endless rain put a real bad atmosphere on the entire group. It cast a gloomy shadow over Leo's return to his family's homeland.

The past couple of days had been very awkward, to say the least.

After Otter's startling revelation about his severed member he had changed radically.

He no longer laughed at anyone's jokes, not even Bran's, who was always funny.

Otter was moody, sad and barely said a word unless someone asked something of him.

His sparkle had completely disappeared. It was as if the light had left his eyes.

Before his confession he had been the life of the group, the cheerful one, always ready to make a jest or a compliment, but now he was a shadow of the man he used to be.

No songs were sung at night, no music was being played on their instruments.

There was only a suffocating silence that threatened to grab Leo by his throat, to consume him whole.

Leo wanted to ask Bran about it, but didn't find the nerve to do so, seeing how Otter was always lingering nearby and he had proven to be in the possession of extremely sharp ears.

The last thing Leo wanted was to offend him, so he kept his concerns about their friend to himself, but his head kept troubling him with worry.

He knew Cristiano was feeling it as well, for he had been more quiet than usual as well.

As for Bran, only the gods could know how he was _truly_ feeling.

For his brother was as stoic and calm as ever. If Otter's strange behavior was worrying him, he was not letting anyone see it. 

But Leo was suffering tremendously from all the tension between the four of them and he could feel that it unnerved Cristiano too.

He wished that there was a right way to handle a situation like this.

A chance for everything to return to what it used to be.

To restore the burned down bridges between them.

But it had been three days and it only seemed to get worse, so Leo decided to accept it and to leave it alone.

They were going into dangerous territory and there was no room for emotions.

He had to be clear headed and focused, otherwise it could result into nothing more than the death of four men and their animals.

The cubs had been extremely tired from running along the horses all day, trying to keep up with their brutal pace.

Cristiano had even tried to smuggle Maeve onto Caeden's back to give her some rest, but Otter had caught him and chided him for it.

They were training the cubs and Otter and Bran were adamant that they _had_ to learn how to run, hunt and be more aggressive as soon as possible.

Which was why neither Cris nor Leo were allowed to treat them like babies any longer.  
A fact Cristiano grudgingly accepted, mostly because he had no choice.

He was outvoted, three to one.

Leo didn't want to take his brother's side but he knew that for their own survival, he had to.

The cubs needed to learn how to protect them in a short amount of time.

The horses were vulnerable to attacks from other wolves, bears and wild animals, and they made for a delicious supper for rivaling tribes or rogue warriors. They were a target.

One that the cubs would have to learn to protect.

Conor and Bran were learning quite quickly but Maeve struggled with reliving her more primitive urges.

Probably because Leo had treated her like a little child for so long when she was younger.

Maeve had always been his weakness and he simply didn't have the heart to scold her, or to force her into anything she didn't want to do.

Leo halted Moire and saw Maeve trailing up behind them, tongue dangling out of her mouth, and she was whining soft, complaining about the hardship he made her endure.

He felt his heart breaking a little bit when he saw her like that. When she looked at him as if he had betrayed her.

Leo knew she was exhausted and thirsty from their long ride and as soon as they stopped she curled up like a ball and waited for Leo to bring her some water.

He filled a bucket with water from a spring and took it to their cubs, only to be stopped by Bran who pressed his hand to Leo's chest.

''No, we have talked about this Leo. She _has_ to learn to stand on her own. If you keep providing her with everything she needs she will never survive. Not truly. Now put the bucket down and let her come to it,''

Leo sighed deep and shoved the bucket into the icy mud.

Conor and Bran instantly came for a drink but Maeve did not move at all.  
''Please stop torturing me! I just want her to be happy. We wore her out today all right? Look at her! She can't even stand up any longer. She needs to rest,''

Bran rolled his eyes and Leo could practically hear him counting to twenty in his mind.

Trying his hardest not to lose his temper to him. ''We are _all_ exhausted from our journey little one. You, me, Cris, the cubs, the horses. Hell even Otter is tired, despite the fact that he will never admit that out loud,'' he said with a small, hopeful grin to his partner who did not respond to him whatsoever.

Another sad shadow came over Bran's face as the chilly wind blew in from the north, lifting his brown woolen cloak up from the mud.

His long brown hair was released from his usual ponytail and was dancing on his lower back.

The fluid movements reminded Leo of the ripples of water in a small spring.

Bran took a big gulp from his water flask and steadied himself, ready for yet another debate, one that he was clearly not in the mood for.

''That said, the cubs _need_ this and you know it. They need their independence if they're ever going to make it out here. Weakness will never be tolerated in the north. I'm not trying to torture you or Maeve, I'm trying to keep you alive.  
All of you.  
That is _my_ task, my responsibility. You made me the leader of this little group of outlaws and trouble makers, therefore you need to accept my orders, my command. I cannot have anyone questioning my orders out here. If I tell you to do something, you do it. Understood?'' Bran continued as he folded his hands in his side.

''Yes,'' Leo conceded.

He hated it when Bran played the older brother card.

It made him feel like that inferior little boy again.

''I'm sorry, I must have misheard you. What was that now?'' Bran teased, a hint of a smile lingering on his face.

''Stop bullying me you big brute,'' Leo complained.

He should have known that Bran was going to exploit this completely.

That he would never let him forget about this.

But Leo realized that Bran needed this, to have a bit of a laugh about something silly.

To help him defuse the tension of the past few days. It could not have been easy to be the leader of their group.

Being a leader was never easy, especially not when you had to lead three stubborn mules like Leo, Cris and Otter were.

And just like that, Leo saw his brother's brown eyes light up mischievously and he knew he was in trouble.

Bran always had that glimpse in his eyes when they were younger and he was planning on something that their father forbade them do to.

His brother moved so fast he could barely register it and with one swipe he hauled Leo over his shoulder, as he had done numerous times when they were growing up.

Only now that they were so high off the ground was it that Leo realized what the world looked like when you were this tall.

It was nice, to be this high up, to see so much better and more than when you were little like Leo.

He could imagine that being so large would give you the feeling that you could overcome anything.

Bran dug his hard fingers into Leo's side and tickled him mercilessly, making him squirm and snicker like that silly five year old. Leo had always been sensitive near his ribs and only Bran would remember something like that, to use it against him when it was to his advantage.

''BRAN!! No!!! Stop it!!! Cris, a little help here?''

''No I'm good, thank you,'' Cris winked, as he continued his task of grooming and feeding the horses with Otter.

Otter stared at the sight of Bran and Leo struggling but his ice blue eyes were unreadable and Leo couldn't tell if he was amused by the sight or annoyed.

Leo swore under his breath and stomped Bran in his side, nearly breaking his fingers on his chest armor, hoping that it would force him to put him back down again.

But his brother was a hard man.

He didn't bow to anyone. He never apologized for anything.

And he was alway right. Well in his own mind, at least.

''OTTER HELP!!!'' Leo decided that he needed to try another approach.

Otter was the only person who could talk some sense into his brother when he was being an unreasonable ass.

The large man stared at them for another moment before moving to Bran and placing his fingers against his ear, giving the lobe a small, sharp flick.

Bran squealed like a little girl and let Leo down instantly.

Leo and Cris exchanged an amused look, both of them not realizing that such a large, muscular man could make such a feminine sound and in that glare they decided that they were never going to let Bran forget about that.

''Damn you Otter, you know I hate it when you do that!'' Bran scolded, and he threw an apple at Otter's face but missed.

''You're welcome Leo,'' Otter grinned, completely ignoring his lover's complaints.

''I hate you sometimes,'' Bran grumbled but Otter placed a soft apologetic kiss to his forehead, instantly making Bran smile once again. Leo could tell that whatever problems there were between them had dissolved as quickly as they had appeared.

''No you don't,'' he corrected him. ''No I really don't,'' Bran agreed.

He cradled Otter's face with his hands and kissed his cheek gently. ''But by the gods, how I wish that I could sometimes,'' he added.

''No chance in hell my friend, I'm far too _charming_ to have people hating me,'' Otter retorted. Bran merely snorted and wrapped his arms around Otter, to pull him into a tight embrace.

The male cubs were finally finished drinking their water and ran to their little sister to help her to her feet.

They walked on either side of her and nudged her toward the bucket.

''Look at that,'' Cris cooed as he slipped closer to Leo and wrapped his strong arm around his shoulder. Leo folded his arm around Cris' waist and buried his face into his shoulder.

''That's so sweet, they're actually helping her drink,'' Leo gasped, completely in awe over the love the cubs had for one another.

Suddenly memories of Isbeil flooded through his memory and a lump formed in his throat.

He wondered how she was doing, so far away from them, in Rome. 

Would Iker still make her happy? Would they get permission to get married?

He wished she was here with them. Having his brother nearby was amazing, but Isbeil had literally raised him.

She was his comfort and his support. She made him feel at home in his darkest of times.

Cristiano detected his sadness instantly and pulled him even closer to his chest. ''What's the matter Leo?''  
''It's Isbeil, I miss her. And I'm concerned for her,''

Bran moved to Leo's other side and placed his heavy hand on his shoulder, squeezing it, a tad too hard to be comfortable, but the sentiment was kind.

''I know little one, I miss her also. But you need to have _faith_ in her. She is far stronger than she looks. And she is a Brigantes. We are made to endure all sorts of hardship and to survive them.  
I mean look at us. You nearly died in that arena, and you nearly died numerous times before that when you were rebelling against Rome.  
And I escaped death on the battlefield that wiped out our entire family. As for Isbeil: she survived all the torture the Romans put her through and thrived.  
We are _born_ survivors Leo, it's what we do best,''

Leo shook his head furiously and coughed.

The rainy weather had given him a lovely cold. ''Don't talk like that. You will anger the gods,''

Bran frowned deep. ''You haven't believed in the gods ever since you were a little boy. Conor's preaching drove you insane,''

''I still don't believe in them, but I also think it would be really damn stupid to tempt them into taking our good luck with your blasphemy and arrogance. Don't insult the gods in their own country. It's dumb and you are anything but dumb,'' Leo lectured and a stunned silence made its way through the campsite as Bran released Leo and sat down on a rock, molding over a suitable reply.

The only noise came from the creaking fire that Otter had lit a few moments ago.

''He is right Bran, you must not tempt the gods,'' the large man agreed and Bran pursed his lips together, but Leo could see that an outburst was sure to come.

And when it did he resisted the urge to cover his ears.

''What is it with all of you today? Is it attack your brother/partner day or something? I'm simply trying to keep all of you alive, you _ungrateful_ _shits!_ You know what? I don't need this.  
Not after everything I did to keep all of you safe. You can all go to hell!!'' Bran barked out, and he stood up, threw a rock against the base of a tree nearby and stormed off, little cub Bran following close behind him as usual.

''Should we go after him?'' Cris asked, after a shocked silence. He stared at Otter, as well as Leo, hoping that he would have answers.

''No, when he's being like this he simply needs to cool off a little bit. It's best to leave him be for a while,''

''But aren't you worried he will get in trouble or something?'' Leo asked, but Otter chuckled loud and shook his head.

''No, have you seen him? He can take care of himself. Besides he brought his axes, his sword, his knives _and_ his bow and arrow. He will be fine. He is the best fighter I know. He grew up as a hunter, his eyes are used to the dark. He is going to be just fine, I assure you,''

''I hope you're right, because I don't want this fight to be the last thing that-'' Leo started but Otter placed his massive, cold hand over Leo's mouth.

''Don't say such things. He is not dying all right?  
Do you honestly think that I would let him go if it would not be safe?  
Bran means the world to me, so please keep your stupid fears and opinions to yourself. He's _mine_ to protect, not yours. He might be your brother but he is my partner and I've been with him forever. Show him a little respect and trust in his abilities all right?''

''I'm sorry, I didn't mean it like that,'' Leo offered but the large man had already released him and sat down to maul over his own thoughts again. He was locking them out once again and it was really getting on Leo's nerves.

''No, you know what? Despite the fact that you are my brother I will not allow you to speak to him like that!'' Cris started interfering with the debate as well and a part of Leo felt touched that he was taking his side, but another wished that they could forget about this day and start all over.

He knew all this arguing had been inevitable, mostly because it had been building up for days now, but still, Leo had hoped that it wouldn't come to this. Arguments made his stomach hurt.

He hated them with every fibre of his being.

''Excuse me little brother?'' Otter yelled back and Leo quickly stepped between them and placed a hand on either of their chests.

''STOP IT!!! We don't need this right now! It's been a very long and exhausting day for all of us all right? And we are all feeling a little bit on edge because we entered the north and because we feel danger all around us.

But that is no excuse for us to be turning against each other! You two are brothers! You love each other, and I love both of you. The same as I love Bran.  
You two need to stop acting like bickering children and focus on the real obstacles that lie ahead of us.

The wilderness, dangerous tribes and a long search for the eagle which will ask a lot of determination, adaptability and endurance from each of us. So stop this nonsense or I will knock your heads together,'' he warned.

Cris and Otter exchanged a glance, before bursting out into a heartfelt laughter that echoed through the camp, awaking Conor and Maeve who had been sleeping near the fire.

''What is so funny?'' Leo grumbled, gritting his teeth together. He hated it when he was being mocked.

_''You_ -want-to-knock- _our_ -heads-together?'' Otter bellowed, as he grabbed Cris' shoulders and gasped for breath.

''And what is so hilarious about that?'' Leo asked, folding his arms in his side.

''Like you are strong or tall enough to make that happen!'' Otter grinned, nudging his elbow in Cris' ribs.

Cris was trying to compose himself when he saw Leo's furious eyes digging a hole into his forehead, but he struggled to contain his laughter.

''I am sorry Leo, I don't mean it like this. I really don't. I take you very seriously, you know that,'' he comforted and Leo couldn't even stay mad at him after his warm words.

He knew that it wasn't personal. Cris just needed to let off some steam after their highly tensed days.

They all had to.

Leo sighed and buried himself deep into Cris' welcoming arms. ''It's all right, I get it. I'm not mad at you. I'm fed up with everyone being angry and tensed around each other. Can't we all get along?''

Otter patted him on his back and smiled. ''You're right Leo, this is all my fault. After I told you about my past I couldn't look at you two anymore. I was afraid that you would look at me differently and it ruined our bond. I'm sorry, I-'' he fell silent and arched his back up to lift his ears to the wind.

''What's wrong?'' Cris asked, but Otter gestured him to be silent. He listened for a while before his eyes turned large and his skin went pale.

''It's Bran, he's in trouble. I'm going to help him and little Bran, but you two need to stay put. Protect the horses and the cubs. Keep your eyes open. We will be back soon,''

''Wait what?! You can't just-'' Cris argued but Otter covered both their mouths with his dirty hands.

''Do not argue with me Cris, _promise_ me that you will stay here, no matter how long it takes us to return. Promise me!'' he demanded, as he ruffled Cris back and forth.

''We can't abandon you two, we want to help!'' Cris protested.

''You can help us by staying here to mind the horses and the supplies.  
Look, I am second in command for a reason brother. I can handle myself and I promise that I will bring him back. But I cannot take you with me and worry about keeping both of you safe as well as protecting Bran, it will slow me down. Please stay here and wait for us to return,'' Otter explained.

''But what if you don't return?'' Cris asked, voice thinner than air.

Leo slipped his hand into his and held it tight. ''You need to have faith Cris, they will return,''

Otter nodded brief and embraced both of them tight.

''Don't worry little brother, I always come back, you have my word,'' Otter whispered in Cris' ear. He sealed his promise with a small kiss to his brother's temple.

He released Cris, grabbed one of his spears to complete his arsenal and left.

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So what kind of trouble has Bran gotten himself into? 
> 
> We will find out in the next chapter. That one will be from Otter's POV. 
> 
> I'm still super grateful for everyone that's reading this and who leaves me kudos and notes. This story wouldn't exist without your feedback! <3


	26. Cripples, bastards and broken things.

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Otter goes after Bran, while numerous memories flow through his mind.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So this is my first chapter that is not about Cris or Leo's POV. 
> 
> I hope you guys like it, I spend a lot of time at it, hoping to give you a glance about Otter's complicated thinking, his baggage and his fears. 
> 
> Hope it was worth the wait. I know I took way too long to update, but life keeps getting in the way and my laptop is near dying now. Unfortunately I don't have money to buy a new one just yet.

_Otter_.

 

 

 

Otter was panting soft as he swiftly made his way through the vastness of the woods, desperately searching for a trail which would indicate any form of direction Bran might had taken.

Why did Bran always felt the need to wander off by himself when he was fed up with a situation?

When they were young it had been one thing, but now that they were hovering near middle age it was mainly embarrassing to Otter, seeing his partner storm off like a little child during a tantrum.

Then again, Bran had always been an avid avoider.

He had pretty much ran from most of the hardships in his life, but the thing he feared above everything else was a little character _flaw_ that he liked to call emotions.  
Showing anyone emotion was a weakness in Bran's eyes.

If people ever detected your softer side they could use it against you to gain power over you and that was something that Bran would never allow. He _needed_ to be the one in control at all times.

Funnily enough all that discipline and control went right out the window when they had finally found Leo.

Otter was no fool.

He had seen that flicker of sheer love and hope in his partner's eyes when he was finally reunited with his little brother, who he had presumed to be dead for so many years.

Bran had only sporadically told Otter about his family and he had only mentioned Leo's name once, when they had first met all those long years ago, after the battle that annihilated most of Bran's family and killed Otter and Leo's father.

When he talked about Leo back then, Bran's brown eyes had softened visibly and a warmth resided in them.

A small hope was evident and he told Otter that he had to find him. And so they looked _everywhere_ for Leo, but without luck.

Which led Bran to the horrible conclusion that his little brother had to be dead or even worse: captured by the Roman devils he hated so much.

Over the years he always kept on looking for Leo, but he never told Otter about his searches.

Not that he needed to.

Otter had always been a trained observer and every time they met a Briton who was small and slender, Bran's eyes lit up with that distinct hope, only to be filled with ice the moment he realized that the man in front of him was not Leo.

Otter could have sworn to see tears shining in his partners eyes each time he was disappointed that he couldn't find Leo, but experience taught him to keep those thoughts to himself.

His thoughts were suddenly interrupted by the call of an owl who was screeching near his head. No doubt that the animal was just waking up from his long slumber to go on a hunt for prey.

Otter silently thanked the bird for disturbing his ever busy brain and leading him back on the right path.

He had always been a restless person, whose brain never stopped bothering him with endless theories, complicated thoughts, doubts and confusion.

When he was young he couldn't even remember anything about his early past.

Not who his mother was, where he was from or what his real name had been.

The only thing he remembered was waking in the Roman villa of Cristiano's father, with the kind man leaning over him, stroking his long and bloody hair out of his face.

He had no clue as to where the blood had come from or how he had ended up in the villa, seemingly unharmed.

Cristiano's father asked him what his name was and Otter's blue eyes glided over the carved animals at his bedpost.

There were a few stags, a bear, a pack of wolves and a pair of otters who were roaming near the beautifully sculptured riverbank.

He had swallowed thickly and told him that his name was Otter.

The past did not seem to matter anymore. Who he was before he had woken up at the villa was long dead by now.

''How did I get here?'' he had asked the Roman. ''I bought you from a couple of slave traders, don't you remember anything about that?'' Cristiano's father had replied in fluent Gaelic.

But Otter had no memory whatsoever, not about being taken captive by slave traders, or being bought by the sturdy Roman man with the kind face.  
''No, I can't remember _anything_. Why am I bleeding?'' he had asked, feeling blood dripping on his lower back and also in his private area.

The old man had pursed his eyes closed and took a deep and tensed breath while his hand curled around Otter's shoulder. ''The slave traders have been rather cruel to you I'm afraid. They have mutilated you, taken your manhood because you stole a piece of bread to help another boy your age,''

Otter's heart had stopped beating at that declaration and he quickly peered under the blanket, feeling feverishly between his legs, only to come to the horrible realization that the Roman was right.

There was nothing there. No manhood, no proof of life. _Nothing_.

He burst out into tears and the older Aquila held his hand for hours, ensuring him that he would never be less of a man because of his _'condition'_ and that he would still be able to grow up strong and confident.

Otter had barely heard his words but the meaning of them was not lost on him, neither was the kind sentiment and the comfort of the large, strong hand around his own.

The pressure of it was soothing somehow.

He had not even had the strength to tell the Roman to let go of his hand, for he despised Romans, that much he remembered, and he cursed his own weakness.

A part of him sensed that Cristiano's father only wanted what was best for him, wanted to love him as his own, without conditions.

Otter remembered how that moved him, to know that he could still be loved despite his mutilation.

He also realized that his life was never going to be easy.

He would never be able to get married, produce children or to make someone genuinely happy.

It was a hardship he came to terms with over the years, but he could not deny that it stung him a little bit when his little 'brother' Cristiano was born.

His father had an heir to his name now, a true _male_ heir who could actually produce grandchildren someday, which was a quality that each Roman father valued above everything else.

Each time that Otter saw Cristiano's small manhood being displayed around him, he felt a sharp stinging stab going through his heart.

He tried to hate the little baby for a while, but when their father placed the baby into his arms, with his bright toothless smile and glistening chestnut eyes, Otter's heavy heart was somehow always suddenly mended.

Trying to hate Cristiano was the most futile thing he would ever try to accomplish.

How could he hate something that was so _precious_ to him.

That little tiny human who begged him to take him onto his back for piggy back rides, who fell asleep on his chest after telling him a story, with a content smile on his beautiful face, tugged away safely in Otter's arms.

Who came running to him instead of either of his parents when he had fallen down and scraped his knee, because he knew that Otter would comfort him in ways his parents could not.

Who came crying to him when he had been in a fight with his mother and used to snuggle into his bed for a lullaby or a story. He did that up until the age of six, that was when Otter told him that he was getting too big to sleep in his brother's bed.

That he was a big boy now and that he needed to learn the value of independence.

He silently hated himself for rejecting Cris, mostly because he knew that he only climbed into his bed because he had nightmares and was afraid of the dark.

The betrayed look on Cristiano's face broke his heart into various pieces.

His little brother furiously pushed the sheets back, climbed out of the large bed and slammed the door in his face, yelling that he hated him with all his heart.

Otter couldn't sleep at all for the remainder of that night and when the moon was nearly ready to set and dawn was almost upon them he could not longer stand it and slipped out of his bed, making his way to Cristiano's chambers.

The guilt was weighing heavily on his heart and he needed to repair the situation.

He snuck into Cristiano's room, watching the lifeless silhouette, breathing in and out rapidly.

That clue told him that Cris was still awake and probably had been all night, as he had. Tears were probably sticking to his pale cheeks when he would turn around and meet Otter's gaze.

But Cris did not turn around, he defiantly stayed put, with his back to the door opening and stayed silent as a mouse.

So he crossed the short distance to the bed and halted to sit down on the sheets. ''Cris, I know you're awake,'' he had started but no reaction had come so he continued his difficult apology. ''Listen to me, I am very sorry about what I said all right? I know that you're afraid of the dark and that staying in my room comforts you. I was wrong to take that away from you. Therefore I have a proposal for you, a middle ground of sorts,''

Cristiano snorted at that, but turned around to face him nonetheless. Otter had been right in his expectations, Cristiano's cheeks were resembling a river of pain and his eyes were red and exhausted.

He instinctively placed his hand on Cris' cheek and stroked his dark hair to the side.

''What middle ground?'' Cris had asked, a hint of hope and curiousness in his tiny voice. ''I suggest that we move your bed into my room, that way we can share our _chambers_ while still sleeping in separate beds. What do you think about that?''

Cris had chewed on his lower lip for a moment but nodded in agreement. ''That sounds good to me,''

So they moved Cristiano's small bed into Otter's chambers and never spoke of it again.

Although Cris would sometimes still snuck into his bed whenever his nightmares were too gruesome to overcome.

Otter would wrap his arm around him and hold him tight to his chest.

Cristiano would fall back into a comfortable sleep while Otter was condemned to lie awake all night, worrying over his brother's nightmares.

One night he made the mistake of asking Cris what he was dreaming about.

The answer terrified him to his core.  
''You're going to leave me someday, you and father. And you'll never come back,'' the little boy told him with a certainty in his voice that sent a shiver over Otter's spine.

''No I am not little brother. I am _never_ going to abandon you, not as long as I'm alive,'' he assured him but Cristiano nodded slow, looking like a judge who had rendered his verdict.

''Yes you will, I've seen it. I see it every night when I go to sleep. Father leaves us first, riding off with the Romans to go fight some battle somewhere in the north.  
He gives me a little wooden eagle before he does. Then a little while after, you go after him, telling me that you'll be back, but you never keep your word. Father will die and you will never come back,'' Cristiano's lip trembled and tears were shining in his eyes.

Otter pulled him close to his chest and held him tight, stroking his back soothingly, in a miserable attempt to calm him down. ''That is never going to happen little brother. For as long as I live, I promise you that I'll always be there for you,''

Cris shook his head stubbornly and sighed. ''No you won't, mark my words. You will _never_ come back, I know it,''  
Otter didn't know what to say to that and therefore he remained quiet, as his brother slowly drifted into a deep slumber.

He lost a lot of sleep each night, due to Cristiano's recurrent nightmare about him leaving, but seeing his calm expression and experiencing the peace he could give his brother by holding watch over him somehow made it all worth the sacrifice of missing his own sleep.

Being an older brother to little Cristiano had been the favorite part of Otter's miserable life.

And yet he had screwed it up by not going back for Cristiano after their father died, therefore fulfilling Cristiano's prophetic words about him never returning.

Otter's memory had come back over the years and he remembered his old family, the people who had cast him out as if he were nothing. It stung him but he felt incredibly blessed to have found such a lovely family that nurtured and loved him with all their hearts.

Except the Domina of course, Cristiano's mother had always resented him for some unknown reason.

He had resented himself for years for not going back for Cristiano after the battle that had killed their father, but in his heart he knew that Cris' mother would never allow him back into her home.

So Otter felt himself forced to leave his little brother behind and start a new life of his own.

That was when he found Bran, injured and without a family of his own, lying in the mud after the battle.

He tended to his wounds and they quickly became friends who decided to stick together.

It had taken Otter a long time to reveal his secret to Bran, almost six years went by without him saying a word of his condition to his friend.

The growing feelings he had for the proud Briton were not exactly helpful either.

In Otter's eyes Bran was the most beautiful creature he had ever seen with his tall, muscled body, his thick, wavy brown hair and his amazing brown eyes.

But how would Bran react when he heard that Otter was not a real man?

Otter's powers of observation had told him that behind that proud, sturdy mask, Bran had developed feelings toward him as well, which only seemed to complicate his own emotions even further.

Growing up in a Roman household he had been no stranger to men being open in their affections, but he also knew that in higher circles it was frowned upon.

Men laying together was something that Romans saw as a young men's game, but men would never be able to get married openly and get away with such perversions.

He was not quite certain how Briton's thought about men being together and he didn't dare to ask Bran about it.

A fierce warrior like him was unlikely to pick a man to be his life partner, his companion, he rationalized.

There was absolutely no chance that someone like Bran, the only survivor of the proud Brigantes clan would ever lower himself to the likes of him, a freak of nature.

It was simply _impossible_.

And yet it had happened. After spending nearly six years together in the wilderness.

Bran had given him quite a lot to drink one night and they started playing open hearted games in which they had to reveal embarrassing secrets about themselves.

Otter had hesitated for a long time before finally telling Bran the whole truth.

How he was a eunuch, that he was madly in love with him but knew that Bran would never feel the same way and how he could not bear to be around him without being able to be with him in the way that he wanted.

When he had poured his heart out, he expected Bran to laugh at him, or to walk away from him but to his surprise nothing happened.

Bran's gorgeous eyes merely widened with shock but a soft smile had lingered on his lips.

He had lunged forward to press their lips together and in that moment Otter was home.

It had all started that day, the best and most complicated times of his life.

For although he loved Bran more than life itself, it was never truly easy.

They argued a lot due to their cultural background, they teased each other relentless and Bran loved to get on Otter's nerves. He suspected that he did it because he loved it so much when they made up and kissed their sorrows away.

Bran could push his buttons better than anyone, but Otter loved him nonetheless.

They had a connection that went deeper than anything else he had ever felt before.

He could sense it whenever Bran was nearby before he had even seen him. Each emotion Bran felt, he shared and visa versa.

Whenever Bran had a nightmare, Otter knew exactly what he had dreamt about. They were linked together, their souls entwined forever.

Trapped into an endless dance consisting of a delightful mixture between pleasure and pain.

Even when they hurt each other it felt right.

Both of them had developed a knack for the way that it hurt, enjoying it a little too much for it to be normal.  
But they weren't normal, nor had they ever been.

Nothing about their screwed up lives had ever been normal.

They had both been bruised, broken and beaten down by life but they had always had the strength to get back up once again.

Because they had each other.

They dragged each other through the hardships.

Otter the lonely eunuch, who had drowned himself in guilt for not going back home to his little brother as he promised, and Bran the broken warrior, the last child of the Brigantes who resented himself for failing his family and not being able to locate his little brother and sisters.

Oh what a ridiculous pair they made.

Otter could imagine what people would think about them as they rode through several villages on their horses.

They looked like a pair of warriors or mercenary brothers who were on the warpath looking for trouble.

Little did they know that Otter had the biggest heart imaginable and actually still rescued drowning insects from pools of water, and that Bran underneath all the hard exterior sometimes still cried himself to sleep over missing his family.

It had taken Otter about ten years to finally accept his shortcomings and to let Bran finally make love to him.

They had done a number of various things on each other, but they never actually been that close due to Otter's endless insecurities.

He knew he was asking a lot from Bran, but his partner was always gentle and patient with him, even though Otter knew how hard it was for him to be that close to him and yet so far away.

When he finally let Bran enter his broken body, he cursed himself for letting him wait so long, for nothing had ever felt so right.

All of his fears and pain had disappeared in an instant of wonderful bliss and pleasure.

Afterward they had laid in each others arms, warm and happy and for the first time in years, Otter had slept through the night.

His head safely tugged away on Bran's bare chest, their naked bodies entwined while Bran's arms were tightly curled around his back.

They were at peace.  
It never lasted of course, with them _nothing_ ever did.

With them it was always two steps forward, one step back.

For the following day they had gotten into a huge fight over something silly that Otter could not even remember anymore.

They ignored each other for two days straight after that, only saying the necessary things to each other but staying dead silent for the remaining part of their day.

When Otter tripped into the mud on the third day and slid a few meters forward, halting inches in front of a small creek they had simultaneously burst out into laughter and the fight had seized as quickly as it had emerged.

The content of their arguments never mattered.  
Luckily for both of their peace of mind, they seldom fought after that and mostly kept to bickering.

They were always struggling for dominance over one another, despite the fact that both of them saw the other as equal. Bran still loved to be in charge and Otter loved fighting him on that every step of the way.

The power struggle aroused and exhilarated both of them and therefore never seized.

When they had finally found Leo after all those years Otter couldn't help but feel quite conflicted about it.

While he was immensely glad for Bran that he had finally been reunited with his little brother, the sight of them together ripped a whole into his own heart at the thought of Cristiano.

Luckily for him his time came soon enough and when they took Leo home to the Aquila estate he was finally able to see his little brother again.

Who did not recognize him at all. It stung a little bit, despite the fact that Otter really should have calculated it in his expectations.

For he looked nothing like the young man that Cristiano had known and therefore it was no wonder that he did not realize who he was.

When he told him their story and got to hold his little brother into his arms after so many years though, all of his troubles dissolved into nothing.

But growing up in the shadow of their father losing the eagle had made Cristiano reckless.  
His suicide wish to get the eagle back from the north was a shock to Otter.

He wished in that moment that he had went back to the villa after the battle to be with Cris, maybe if he had he could have helped him accept their father's fate a little better and his mind would not have been set on this silly quest.

He did not have the heart to tell Cris about his prophetic dreams and the fact that he had intentionally left him behind, despite knowing that Cris had foreseen his abandonment in his dreams for years.

What good would that have done Cris? Clearly he did not remember his dreams and the fact that Otter had forsaken him and he saw no reason to remind him of that painful fact.

That said, he should have _been_ there for him.

He should have gone back despite what Cris' mother might have thought about him.

Otter could have taken Cris with him to live on their own in some other estate if he wanted, seeing how Cris never liked his mother either, but yet he chose to be a coward and to run away from his responsibilities as an older brother, precisely as Cris had predicted he would.

His actions had lead to all of this misery.

He should have been there for Cristiano, should have helped him come to terms with the cruelty of life. He was only a boy when he abandoned him.

A boy who had to endure the loss of his beloved father _and_ his brother at the same time.

He should have gone back to him.

But he had chosen to remain absent and Cris had grown into a resentful, guilt driven man who only had one goal: retrieving their family's honor.

The honor that Otter had literally let slip through his own fingers, seeing how he was inches away from the eagle at the end. He decided to keep that part of information away from Cristiano as well.

And here they were, years later.

Going north to retrieve the lost eagle from the seal people.

Whenever Otter closed his eyes he could still see their father standing firm at the foot of the proud, golden eagle, swaying his sword bravely against anyone who dared to come close to it.

He could still hear his father's screams echoing in the back of his head, taunting him as he tried to sleep at night. Cristiano whispering to him in the dark: ''You're going to leave me and you'll never come back,''

And now Bran was missing because of his actions.

If he would be killed it would be Otter's fault. For if he would have been a better brother they would still be back in the safe world south of the wall.

But he could not undo the past for it was already written, a bit poorly perhaps but written nonetheless. The only thing he could do now was to ensure that the future looked better for all of them.

He owed them that much.

The sound of a twig creaking to his left alarmed him and he stared at the source of the noise. A small squirrel was hopping toward the base of a tree and jumped up, carrying a small nut in its mouth.

Due to the full moon the road through the trees was illumined pretty well, but Otter had always been extremely keen at seeing everything in the dark.

An inward pull in his intestines jolted him and he stared into the path in front of him, narrowing his blue eyes.

He had sensed that Bran was in trouble back at camp by the shivers going over his spine and the heavy feeling in his heart.

Reluctantly he had left Cris and Leo behind, knowing that the night was always filled with threats and terrors, but he could not afford to lose Bran.

He would never survive if he lost him. They were one soul divided into two bodies.  
And then he heard it, the small whimpering sound of a nervous wolf nearby. He recognized that strangled noise anywhere.

Little Bran was calling for help.

His heart began to hammer in his chest, but he knew deep down that Bran would still be alive.

He was certain that if he had died, he would have felt his heart cracking into two. Bran was going to be all right, he had to be.  
Otter ran toward the sounds of the distress cries and ended up near a riverbank where he finally found them.

He gasped loud at the sight.

A giant brown bear was laying dead at Bran's feet, uncle Aquila's sword sticking out its back and an axe planted in his head.

Bran was laying on top of the damp moss, still and pale as a ghost, but Otter saw his chest heaving up and down slowly.

Little Bran was cradled on top of Bran's chest, whining soft but seemingly unharmed.  
There was blood sticking to Bran's face and he had scrapes all over his chest.

Otter didn't doubt it for a moment; the bear had definitely put up a fight and scratched his giant paws over Bran's chest. It was a miracle on itself that Bran had allowed the animal to get this close to him.

Usually he would have shot the bear with his arrows or thrown his axe at him, but somehow the bear had been able to get too close for Otter's liking.

They had encountered numerous bears during their adventures together-one of them was responsible for Otter's scar that was draped across his face-but usually they were able to handle it together.

Only now they hadn't been together, thanks to Otter, and clearly Bran was paying the price for it.

Little Bran noticed his presence and jumped off Bran's chest to run at Otter, who scooped him up from the floor.

The young wolf had a slight limp in his left forepaw and a little blood sticking in his neck hairs, but seemed to be all right despite of that.

He was getting to be the size of a grown dog now and Otter had a lot of trouble carrying him in his arms. He was getting heavier by the day.

''How are you doing Bran? Are you all right?'' he murmured as he stroked his fingers over the wolf's bloody fur.

Bran wailed a little bit and bared his teeth but luckily did not feel the need to sink his teeth into Otter's flesh.

''I am sorry I wasn't here to protect you two, but I am happy that both of you are still alive at least. I'm going to put you down now buddy, for I need to go see how my partner is doing,'' he told Bran and he placed the wolf back into the mud as gentle as he could.

But the rain was pouring down heavily once again and the mud became sticky and seemed to have the desire to suck them into the ground with each step he and the wolf took toward his partner.

He struggled his way to Bran and crouched down to his knees near his lifeless body. ''Bran! Wake up!'' he urged as he cradled his face with his icy hands and squeezed in his cheeks.

No response. So he tried a different approach. ''Bran!!! Come on now, I know you're still alive you big baby!''  
His partner's eyes remained closed and there was no sign that he had heard Otter's words.

Well onto the last resort then: _extortion_. ''Bran, if you wake up now, I'll suck your cock when it stops raining,''

That usually worked wonders but today there was still no movement and Otter was getting genuinely concerned by now.

He tore a piece off his tunic and cut it in little pieces of bandage with his dagger, draping them carefully over Bran's bloody chest. Luckily the wounds were mostly superficial and would easily heal.

When he finished his work he leaned over Bran's face and brushed his lips over his.

The familiar shock of sensation rushed through every inch of his system and he shivered when he finally felt Bran's body waking under his.

Bran's lips parted a little under his and moved against the pressure of his mouth, as if he was attempting to deepen the kiss but had forgotten how.  
Otter let go of him and earned a muffled, disappointed grunt from Bran, which told him that he was finally conscious.

The brown eyes slid open and a hazy looking Bran stared at him, the hint of a smile curling on his full lips as he groaned. ''What happened?''

Otter let a huge breath of air that he didn't realize he was holding escape his lungs and he curled up at his partners's side, taking him in his arms as gentle as he could.  
He pressed a grateful kiss to Bran's cheek. ''Well it seems like you've gotten your stupid ass involved into another bear fight,''

''Hmm so that's why I feel so mauled down then?'' Bran joked but Otter rolled his eyes at him and chided. ''Please don't, I've been insanely worried about you. I've been looking for you for hours. Please don't go away from the camp by yourself again!''

''What? I had to cool off! You were all pissing me off!!!''

''I _know_ that! I'm not a moron! But you have to realize that we're in the north now!  
You cannot just wander off by yourself anymore. It's too dangerous in this area. We have to stick together if we're going to survive. What if you had walked upon a hostile tribe hmmm? What then? You can't fight off twenty warriors by yourself!''

''And where is that written? I'm very good, as you should have known by now,'' Bran argued with a confident smirk but Otter was not in the mood for another fight.

''Don't argue with me! Damn you Bran! I could have _lost_ you, don't you realize that?!  
You were lucky to escape a worse fate than this tonight. I'm not losing you! I won't survive that!!! And don't treat me like a moron. You know very well that you were reckless today. If you ever walk so far out of the camp, I swear to all the gods that-''

''That you'll what?! Stop sleeping with me? That you'll stop being nice to me? Don't fool yourself Otter, I know you. You can't ever deny me anything. So spare me your idle threats please,''

''Gods can't you ever grow up!!! I left our little brothers behind at the camp to search for you. Do you know how irresponsible that was of me? I should have been there to protect them against the terrors of the nights but I wasn't there thanks to you!'' Otter snapped and Bran sat up furiously, folding his arms together.

''Well why did you leave them behind then? I thought we had agreed that we would stay with them at all cost,''

Otter clenched his jaw and balled his hands into fists.

Gods how he would love to take a swing at Bran right now. The only reason he didn't was because his lover was already injured.

''You ask me that? Of all people? You who knows me better than anyone on this earth.  
Are you serious? Are you _honestly_ asking me why I came back for you?  
You're insulting me with this question and you know it. You're my life Bran. You are _everything_ to me, my past, my present and my future. Now get your pathetic ass out of this mud and follow me back to camp to ensure that our brothers are all right!''

Bran smiled tender at Otter's harsh words and pulled him into a tight embrace, kissing his temple as his hands roamed through Otter's long hair.

The sudden change of heart was throwing Otter off balance and he had forgotten about his anger the instant he felt Bran's lips to his skin.  
Bran had always had far too much power over him.

And yet he couldn't help but love him, with every fibre of his being.

Even when he was being an insufferable brat like he was being today. ''I'm sorry Otter, if you help me up we'll go back to camp now,''

Otter frowned deep and creased a critical eyebrow at Bran. ''Why the sudden change of heart?''

''Well despite the fact that I normally love to tease you a bit, and even love our little fights, I'm not really feeling up to it anymore today. And as you pointed out, our brothers are all alone at the campsite, which is making me nervous. So let's go back,''

Otter nodded slow, feeling all the tension releasing from his body, as he hauled Bran up from the mud and wrapped his arms around him to support him.  
Little Bran was strolling after them, still limping as they moved back through the woods.

As they walked Bran's head dropped onto Otter's shoulder from time to time. Not because he was feeling particularly weak, but to offer him a wordless apology for his stupid behavior.

When they almost reached the camp Bran suddenly spoke again. ''So I vaguely remember you saying something about sucking my cock if I woke up?''

Otter rolled his eyes at him again but when they stared at each other, they burst out into a deep and heartfelt laughter.

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So let me know what you think about this. I'm very curious to hear opinions about Otter's first chapter and if you guys would like one that is about Bran's POV also. 
> 
> I could make that if you guys like that. This turned out far longer than I had anticipated, but overall I'm pleased with the result, I think.


	27. My heart is like a hurricane.

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Leo and Cris share a moment. 
> 
> Revelations are made.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Sorry for the long delay guys. 
> 
> But I hope this makes up for it. Just a small fluffy chapter with the dysfunctional couple.

_Cris_.

 

 

 

''You're concerned,'' Leo's gentle voice quipped and Cris forced himself out of his deep and disturbing thoughts.

He was laying with his head on Leo's lap and the Briton had tangled his fingers through his hair, gently massaging his scalp to soothe him for the past couple of hours.

The bonfire was still lit and the cubs were sleeping a few feet away from them, Maeve's head tugged away in the fur of Conor's back.

The night was going by ever so slow and the temperature had cooled down so much that they were blowing little clouds of steam whenever they exhaled.

Cris' arms were possessively draped around Leo's waist and his left hand had made its way under Leo's thick cloak and tunic and had absent minded trailed up and down the smooth skin of Leo's lower back.

Leo's right hand was cradled on Cris' icy cheek, where it rested comfortably, as if it belonged there.

And Cristiano had felt at peace for a while, his thoughts pleasantly blank and free of worry over their missing brothers.  
Perhaps Leo simply knew him too well.

Leo had realized that his mind would never allow him any rest before Bran and Otter had returned and so he had taken Cris close to his body and calmed him, the only way he knew how to.

The way Otter had calmed him when Cris had been a child and when he had fallen down and scraped his knee.

Cris had no idea how Leo even knew about his memories with Otter, but he figured that his soul was open to Leo. That all of his secrets laid bare in the sight of Leo's watchful eyes.

For Leo could see _into_ him.

Could see his past, his habits and used them all to aid him in calming Cris when he was being so distant and trapped in his own head due to his concerns.

''Of course I'm concerned, they've been gone for hours now,'' Cris responded, merely whispering the words, as if they would disappear into thin air if he dared to say them out loud.

Leo's fingers ghosted over his temple and he leaned in to kiss his forehead. ''I know you are worried, but they _will_ return. You have got to keep faith in their capabilities. I don't know two men who are better fighters than they are,'' he forced Cris to look him in the eye and held onto his jaw with his pale, strong hand. ''They will return,''

''You can't know that for certain,'' Cris interjected and Leo rolled is eyes impatiently. ''Nor can you know for certain that anything is amiss with them. Gods they could be having a private moment for all we know!''

''A what?''

''A private moment, you know to have sex. They are a _couple_ after all. That's what couples _usually_ do isn't it? They have sex!'' Leo snarled and Cris sat up furiously as he folded his arms together and distanced himself from Leo, leaving a small space between their bodies.

Cris hadn't missed the underlying message in Leo's irritable words and he was getting quite fed up with it.

''Not this again, not now,'' he sighed and Leo chuckled mockingly at him.  
''Why not? I can't think of a better time than right now,''

''I'm not in the mood for your endless sense of guilt today,''  
Leo shrugged mercilessly and his features hardened. ''Too bad, we should talk about it sooner or later,''

''Well I prefer later,''

''Yes you always do, because you're an experienced avoider Cris. But you can't lie to me. I see right through it. You do resent me for not giving you sex and for making you wait this long, don't even try to deny it,'' Leo concluded an Cris gnawed on his lower lip to prevent himself from screaming out in a mixture of anger and disbelief.

How could Leo still think so little of him?

Didn't he trust him at all? Did he honestly believe that all Cris cared about was sex?

Couldn't he see that he would gladly wait _forever_ if Leo asked it of him.

How he would turn the whole world upside down just to be with Leo, in any way that made him happy.

Besides, Cris had never cared much for sex.

When he was younger he had lost his virginity to a slave girl who worked in the kitchens. He had been seventeen years old and it had been over in about ten minutes.

Afterwards he couldn't quite understand what the whole fuss had been all about.

So he had experimented in the years after that, with both boys and girls and he swiftly discovered that he clearly preferred boys.

But none of those boys that he paid for made him feel alive.

Certainly, Cristiano enjoyed their beautiful bodies, felt himself moan when they sucked him off, but none of them made him feel like he was connected with them through sex.

It was just an empty act to him.

_Meaningless, emotionless, heartless._

A race to an orgasm, which he didn't even always achieve strangely enough.

The boys all adored him, begged him to love them but Cris couldn't for he was far too sincere to say words that he did not mean.

They were beautiful, empty shells to him. The simple means to an end.

Afterward when he was lying in his bed with one of them they always wanted to snuggle up against him but Cris had always send them away instantly. He did not want to be around them any longer than he absolutely had to for they made him feel sad and alone.

The longer they were around him, the lonelier Cristiano seemed to get.

They treated his body as if it were a holy temple where they gladly went to offer it sacrifices.

The whores adored him for his masterpiece; his sculptured abs, his pretty face, his broad and muscled arms and legs, and his long and thick cock.

It was so bad that Cristiano often felt like he was the prostitute instead of the other way around. He frequently found himself hating them, despite the fact that they gave him some form of pleasure.

When one of his regular boys told him that he _loved_ Cris after sex he knew that it was time to stop.

For certainly none of the boys truly loved Cristiano.

They loved what he represented: power, wealth, beauty and a way out of their miserable lives.

He send the boy away and vowed to himself to never give his body to anyone ever again. Not until they truly loved him for who he was.

He was never going to sell himself so easily again.

For he was more than just a pretty face and a great body. He was a person with fears, desires and dreams like anyone else.

Only the person who would love _him_ , truly and sincerely would gain access to his heart and therefore his body.

And then Leo had come around.

That small, stubborn man who had unfolded Cristiano's layers with the greatest of ease.

Who had looked into him as if the sturdy mask he had so carefully created over the years was not there at all.

Leo _saw_ Cris. All of him.

The good and the bad. And he loved him with every fibre of his being.

One kiss from Leo was all it took for Cristiano to feel at home, to feel more loved than he had ever felt in all those years of having sex with men. For whenever Leo kissed him, it was all real.

When Leo embraced him it made Cris forget all of his troubles.

Even if Leo would never let Cris sleep with him it still wouldn't matter.

Cristiano would _never_ abandon Leo. He would rather die.

For he could no longer imagine his life without Leo in it.

Cris folded his hands around Leo's and closed the distance between their bodies, kneeling in front of Leo, who was still sitting motionlessly on a gray rock.  
''Look I want to tell you a story, and I want you to really listen closely all right? Can you do that for me, please?'' he begged as he gently stroked a lock of hair out of Leo's face, feeling the Briton shiver from the touch of his fingers.

Leo exhaled deep and his eyes narrowed themselves slowly; investigating, detecting, searching.  
''All right, I'll listen to you,'' he conceded and Cris shot him a grateful smile and entwined their fingers together and he kept kneeling between Leo's legs.

Leo's arms came around his back and rested there and Cris was wondering if Leo did that on purpose or if the gesture had happened purely on instinct.

Created by the simple desire to be closer to Cristiano in order to really listen to him.

Regardless of what his motives where, Cris felt grateful for it. It comforted him somehow.

''When I was younger I had a lot of sex. With men, women and sometimes with both at the same time,'' he confessed and Leo's eyes grew dark with sheer jealousy.  
Cris felt Leo's body tensing under his touches and he was secretly flattered by the rage that he saw in Leo's eyes.

The furious possessiveness. As if Leo couldn't believe that Cris would even bring this up to him. He knew that an outburst was inevitable.

''Not really a great way to win me over honestly, bragging about your sexual escapades with other people,'' Leo couldn't resist to snap at him and Cris rolled his eyes.  
''Will you please be quiet, this isn't an easy story to tell but you have to hear this. I will not have you mocking me,''

''Fine, continue then,'' Leo snorted sarcastic as his fingers dug deeper into Cris' back. It stung but Cris ignored it.

''As I said, I had a lot of sex. Most of the times I paid for it but sometimes I didn't have to.  
Men and women threw themselves at my feet from all sorts of directions. It was exhausting really,'' he said and Leo shot him an unbelieving glance. ''It really was. When I had sex with them I felt like an _object_. Like I was the prostitute instead of them. They made me feel cheap and disgusting most of the time. Sometimes I couldn't even achieve an orgasm because of it.  
I simply choked on my own self loathing. My own reflection in the mirror afterwards sickened me.

Afterward they always wanted to stay with me, begging me to embrace them, to buy them permanently so that I could always have them for free but the very idea of that sickened me.

They were _using_ _me_ Leo, not the other way around. I was their whore and I let them do it because when I was with them I still actually felt-well something.

Usually during my daily life after my father had vanished I felt so empty, so lost and distraught.

They made me feel things. Sensations. I felt worshipped and for a while that felt good.

Until I realized that they did not worship me, but only my body, my power and my money.  
I couldn't live like that any longer, so I stopped having sex and promised myself that the only person who I would ever give myself to again would be the person who would love all of me, not only the shell that surrounds me. I haven't had sex in five years now Leo and I can't say that I missed it.

And then I met you and everything I had hoped for came true.  
With one simple kiss you made me feel so much more alive, more at home than I had ever felt around all of those whores during sex.

When we lay in bed together with our arms and legs around each other it's almost too much for me sometimes. I feel so many things at once but the one emotion that always strikes me the hardest is the sheer happiness that it gives me.

Just being around you, being close to you with my hands through your hair, with your arms around me. That is all I ever wanted from my life. To be loved like that.

Without limitations, without hesitation or restraints.

You complete me and I will never love anyone like I love you. And if you can never have sex with me I will still stay with you, for a relationship is more than sex to me. So please stop saying such things to me, that I'm getting impatient with you because it is not true.

I enjoy being close to you and it is true that I want you but I don't want you for your body. I want you because you're _my_ Leo, because I need you in ways that I never needed anyone before in my life.

I need you because you make me feel like I'm worth something to you. Like I have value to you that are deeper then the needs of the flesh.  
Thanks to you I'm the happiest man alive and I always will be as long as I have you. That is the truth Leo, do you believe me?'' Cris asked and Leo's porcelain cheeks were stained with hot tears, as well as Cris' own.

''Yes I believe you. Gods I'm being ridiculous,'' he sighed, clearly infuriated with his own insecurities.

Cris dragged him onto the soft moss near him and cradled his arms around Leo, entwining every limb, finger and leg he could find so that they were as close together as they possibly could be.

Their foreheads were touching and Cris kissed Leo's lips deep and gentle.

Their joined hands were resting on Leo's cheek. ''You're not being ridiculous Leo, you're insecure about yourself because you think that my mind is set on having sex with you. Now that I've told you that it's not you can put that concern out of your mind. But seeing how you're you and knowing that you'll never be able to stop worrying about this I want to make you a counteroffer,'' Cris smiled and Leo's eyes gleamed up curiously.

''What is it?''

''I want to _offer_ myself to you,''

''Huh? What do you mean?'' Leo asked, clearly extremely confused now.

''I want to give my body to you. When you are ready to be closer to me I want you to be the one that is on top. I'm giving you permission to be the one who is in control instead of the other way around like you're used to from your abusive past. I want you to ride me when you are ready for it,''

''You-what?'' Leo choked out, eyes huge and amazed.

In all their time together Cris had never seen Leo this stunted and shocked before, which was saying a lot.

He suppressed a chuckle and kept his face even, knowing that Leo's pride and dignity had to remain intact.

He was like a skittish horse at the moment, if he would laugh in his face the moment would have been broken and they would be taking two steps backward instead of forward.

''Well, I've always been the one on top and when it comes to someone breaching me I'm still a virgin so I'm willing to offer myself to you so that I can find out what it's like. And you as well I guess. That might be more acceptable for you in order to overcome your traumatic childhood,''

Leo's jaw was still dangling open but a satisfied smile lingered in his eyes. ''You're serious aren't you?''

''Yes, I'm very serious,'' Cris retorted as he stroked Leo's cheek and pressed a loving kiss to the soft skin.

''By the gods, you never seize to amaze me,'' Leo grinned, as a small blush crept over his face.  
''That's good then,''

''Can I ask you something?''  
''Of course,''

''Why are you doing this? Offering yourself up to me,''

Cris closed the distance between them and placed another searing kiss to Leo's lips, one that made the both of them quiver with need, desire and love.

As he nibbled and sucked on Leo's lower lip he felt his entire being come alive under Leo's touches.

Leo's tongue greedily made its way into his mouth and the feeling made Cris' head spin like a whirlwind.

It was too much, the sensations, the shivers over his spine, the sense of closeness.

The overwhelming feeling of their souls melting into one.

Cris felt another hot tear landing on his cheek but was not quite certain whether it was his, Leo's or both of them that were crying. Nor did it matter.

As he slowly pulled back from Leo and gazed him into his gorgeous eyes he smiled. ''I'm doing this because if a simple kiss can do this much to either of us, I can't even begin to imagine what it will be like for us to connect on another level. An even deeper one.  
And I for one am looking forward to figuring that out. I actually want you to claim me Leo, for you to mark me as yours.  
I want you inside of me because no one has ever loved me like this. No one was worthy of it until I met you. But I will wait as long as you want. Nothing will happen until you are truly ready for all of this. I assure you: I will love you regardless. Even if you will never get there,''

Leo smiled deeper and more sincere than Cris had ever seen and pulled him impossibly close to his chest.  
''What did I ever do to deserve you?'' he murmured into Cris' ear.

''I could ask you the same thing,'' Cris said soft as he kissed Leo's neck.

''No one has ever offered something so valuable to me before,'' Leo told him. ''It was a little-unsettling at first. To even digest the idea of me being on top. I've never been the one on top as you guessed. So it startled me, but now that I've pondered on it I'm inclining to accept your offer. Someday,''

Cris plunged his lips to Leo's briefly and held him close to his chest. ''Someday sounds great to me,''

''I'm sorry for being so silly about all of this,'' Leo offered but Cris pressed his finger to Leo's lips and shook his head warningly. ''Stop that, I hate it when you talk yourself down like that. You've been through hell and back over the years and it's only natural for you to have your doubts and restraints when it comes to sex.  
There is absolutely no need to apologize to me for that. That will never be necessary. You don't answer to anyone. You're my Leo and I love you no matter what. And that is all that matters all right?''

Leo nodded slow, a deep and sincere smile lingering on his plump lips. ''All right,''  
''Good, then shut up about it and come a little closer, I'm getting cold,''

Leo placed his head on Cris' chest and snugged his face into the space under Cris' chin. Before Cris could stop himself he had pulled Leo on top of his body, aching for more closeness, more body heat, more love. More was good.

They kissed for what seemed to be hours afterward and when the sun finally arose they were still there.  
Leo had fallen asleep on top of Cris' body and was snoring soft. Leo had never slept so close to Cris before and the sight of it made his heart melt.

His beloved Briton was so vulnerable like this.

So utterly beautiful and frail. This was the real Leo, the one that only Cris got to see when he was lucky enough. The insecure young man that hid behind the mask of hardness and pain that Leo wore each day.

Cris had pressed a soft kiss to Leo's nose and saw it wrinkle with pleasure. Leo however did not awoke from his deep slumber and Cristiano knew instinctively that it had been ages since Leo had slept through a night without nightmares or waking up in cold sweat.

Cris however was still awake and had been keeping watch for their brothers all night.  
There was still no sight of them, which troubled him gravely.

Not even the romantic night he had shared with Leo had been able to ease his mind.

Maeve and Conor were already awake and were trailing around them, wailing soft, asking Cris where their brother had disappeared to.  
Leo stirred under him and Cris could feel him waking up slowly. He groaned and wiped his eyes before staring into Cris' chestnut eyes and placing a kiss to his cheek.

''Good morning,''

''Morning Leo, I take it you slept very well. You barely moved all night,''

''Were you awake all night then?'' Leo asked, a hint of concern for Cris' well being hidden in his voice.  
''Yes, I was keeping watch over you and the animals,''

''You should have woken me, it's not healthy to be up all night,''  
''Gods stop fretting, you sound like my mother,'' Cris teased with a wink.

Leo retaliated by pinching his side, making Cris twinge and giggle like a girl.  
The familiar howling of a wolf nearby brought them back to reality as they saw little Bran emerging from the woods.

Bran and Otter followed close behind him.  
They were finally home.

 

 

 

 

 

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Let me know what you think. Opinions always matter to me. 
> 
> I wanted to dive a little deeper into Cris' past by exploring his sexual escapades. I hope I got that right.  
> thanks to anyone who still takes the time to read this and enjoys it. I appreciate it.


	28. I will have your back. No matter what.

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Otter confronts Bran on something he's been hiding from their younger brothers.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So seeing how I've been ill with the flu for a while now it's taken me longer than I would have liked to update this. Despite that, I hope that you guys are still reading this and enjoy this story. 
> 
> I've skipped ahead in time a little bit, otherwise it will be ages before it's finished. 
> 
> Finally I made the chapter from Bran's POV. 
> 
> The next one will also be from his POV, seeing how this chapter is actually in two parts but I don't have time for the next one today. 
> 
> I really wanted to focus on Bran and Otter's relationship in this chapter, on the things they've endured together, how they act around each other. I love their bond.

_Bran._

 

 

 

 

They had been on the road for nearly a month when Otter _finally_ confronted him.

Bran knew that Otter was well aware of what he had been doing for some time now and yet, strangely, it had taken him weeks to speak.

After the bear attack, from which Bran had swiftly recovered, he had lead the four of them further into the suffocating vastness of the woods, where they hadn't encountered any real problems along the way, thankfully.

They drove the horses along a couple of hill tribes but the people living there were guarded and stayed indoors until they had passed by.

The weather had been quite dreadful, despite the fact that spring was upon the land.

The bright side was that it was no longer freezing at night, but the constant deluge was hardly encouraging.

Bran knew that it rained most of the year in the North and he was prepared for it, but unfortunately, Leo and Cristiano had not been. Their mood had been sour for quite some time now and it was getting on Bran's nerves.

When they made camp that night, Otter told their brothers that he and Bran were going to look for firewood nearby.

Their brothers had hardly responded to them and were sitting side by side with the exhausted cubs at their feet.

When little Bran saw them leaving he rose to his paws and followed them, as usual.

Otter followed Bran to a stream nearby and folded his arms together as he watched how Bran gathered dry branches from the moss. The wolf was dancing around near Bran's feet, starved for attention.

Bran indulged his namesake with a few pets to the head before he continued his search for dry wood.  

''Well are you going to help me or not?'' Bran mumbled as he cut a large tree branch into four pieces with his hatchet.

''No, not until you explain to me _why_ you're doing this,''  
''Doing what exactly?''

''Do not take me for a fool Bran, I know you better than you know yourself. We've been going west for weeks now, while we should be going northeast,''

Bran sighed deep, knowing that arguing would be futile. ''Are we now?''

''Yes we are, but I can't seem to figure out why you're doing this. Leading them in the wrong direction on purpose,''

Bran's eyes flew open in amazement and he snorted loud. ''You can't figure out _why_ I'm doing this? Are you having a laugh?''

''Do you see me laughing?'' Otter replied dryly and Bran could tell that he was resisting the urge to roll his eyes at him.

''You are wondering why I'm not leading _our_ little brothers into the arms of the seal people? Honestly?  
They are savages Otter, who rejoice in cutting off limbs of their prisoners and eat them. You should know that better than anyone else.  
The moment we enter that village we are all dead men and you know it.

''How exactly do you imagine that it would go? We stroll into their village, explain the situation and they will happily hand the eagle to us and let us leave? And as we leave they wave us off with big smiles on their faces? Something like that? Come on, I know that you're not stupid, but with these sorts of questions you're showing me otherwise,''

Otter rose to his full height, towering a few inches above Bran and folded his arms in his sides. ''Don't you dare talk down at me like that. You gave those boys your word that you would help them retrieve that damn thing, and I gave my word as well. You don't have the _right_ to break a vow, not to them.  
How did you imagine that this would go?  
You would let them ride around for months until you've reached the conclusion that the seal people can not be found and that therefore the mission is futile? Convincing them to turn around and go back home with empty hands while you know damn well that the blasted thing is still there in the far north, near the shore.  
I cannot let you do this. I have to stop you by telling them the truth, you do realize that don't you?''

Bran closed the distance between them, clasped onto Otter's tunic and shoved him against a tree, pinning him against it.

The little wolf howled in confusion and dug his teeth into Bran's thick breeches, trying to get him to let Otter go.

''Bran down!'' Otter ordered strictly.

The cub stared at them again, clearly dumbstruck by what was going on but released Bran's breeches and took a few steps back.

''Good boy,'' Bran murmured as he focused his attention back to his partner.

''Listen to me very closely: you cannot tell them the truth. I know that you mean well but I am merely trying my hardest to protect the four of us. I've never done right by Leo when we were growing up and I've made plenty of mistakes with him.  
But I will _not_ be the cause of his death. I will not have that blood on my hands, not after everything I've already lost in my life. I need to keep him safe. Tell me that you understand that,''

Otter's features softened and he pressed a small kiss to Bran's forehead. ''Of course I understand it for I feel the same desire to keep Cris safe.  
But that doesn't make it right. You need to change course immediately.  
We made them a vow and I intend to keep it. And so should you. Yes it might be dangerous beyond words, but there might be a way for us to enter the camp unscathed,''

Bran's curiosity had been awakened. This was one of the sides he loved most about Otter; his ability to always find a way out of even the stickiest situations. ''What sort of way are you talking about?''

''Well we could say that Cristiano is our Roman slave and that we stumbled onto their village by mistake.  
We speak their language and we clearly look like Britons, so they should have no reason to mistrust us. And you forget that I can gain their trust in more ways than one,'' he said, uncovering his shoulder, revealing the blue circle formed tattoo that rested on his clavicle. ''I was _born_ in that village. Technically they are my 'real' family. I can convince them that I've returned home to make amends with my people, offering them a Roman present to prove it,''

''Yes but you seem to have forgotten that you discarded your family for Cristiano's father on the battlefield. You chose his side instead of theirs. I don't need to remind you that they will remember such a choice,''

Otter shrugged nonchalant. ''Maybe, but I can be very convincing when I want to be. I will tell them that the Roman had poisoned my mind with his foul words of trickery or something like that. It might be a flawed plan but it's a plan nonetheless,''

Bran shook his head stubbornly and pressed his forehead against Otter's, inhaling deep. ''No, I'm not risking your life for something so futile as a golden eagle.  
If they do not believe you they will kill you instantly for being a traitor to your own kind. They will execute you right then and there, in front of me. I can't take that chance, not with your life.  
If I lose you, I will wither away until there is nothing left. You can't ask me to agree to this insanity,''

''And yet I _am_ asking. Look, after all our years together you should have a little more faith in my powers of persuasion.  
I'm quite good at it. Besides, we don't have to go with the story of the prodigal son returning home, bearing a Roman gift.  
They saw me last when I was a young man, they surely wouldn't recognize me as a man.

''Besides, your plan to avoid the village will never work. Letting them wonder around the wilderness without result will not persuade Cristiano to turn around and go back.  
He will stay here forever if he has to.  
He will do anything to gain our father's lost honor. And I gave him my word that I would help him retrieve it. As did you. We have to keep our vows Bran. For without our honor, what are we?  
I realize that you're only trying to do the right thing and that your instinct is telling you to do whatever is necessary to keep them safe but sometimes we need to make hard choices for the greater good,'' Otter said wisely. Bran rested his head against the nook of his shoulder and exhaled deep.

Otter's muscled arms came around him and held him tight.

Bran's eyes fell shut instantly. It was strange, that after so many years together the simple embrace of his partner could still soothe him in such a manner.

Otter was his protection, his warm blanket after a storm.

The only person who Bran felt free to show his vulnerability to.

Most people thought that Bran was the stable one of the two of them, but the truth was that it had always been Otter.

The one who kept Bran stable, safe and happy.

The one who could make him smile with a simple wink or a funny face. Otter kept him sane and more importantly: human.

Bran had descended through loads of dark places in his life, but Otter had always been there to lure him back into the light.

When Bran had lost his family, he had searched the whole land for remaining Romans who had fled off the battlefield like cowards.

Otter had followed him close behind, like a comforting shadow and together they found a dozen of them along the way.

Bran executed them without the hint of remorse. It felt good to repay them for taking everything he loved from him.

The feeling of the warm, sticky blood running over his fingers made him hazy with the content feeling of revenge. Most of the Romans begged him to spare their lives but Bran never hesitated.

He was turning into someone who would surely have made his family proud, he often told himself.

When he had slaughtered a dozen Roman deserters, one for each family member he had lost during the battle, he still felt as empty as he had felt when his family died.

He still _needed_ to take more lives. For whenever he felt his enemies' blood dripping down his hands, he finally felt alive once again.

He could hear his heartbeat pounding in his ears, could feel his arms being covered in goosebumps.

He felt the blood coursing through his veins. The hairs on the back of his neck standing up.

A few weeks after his last kill, which he had dedicated to Leo, they ran into a fleeing Roman who was driving a mule cart.

There was a pregnant woman with him, probably carrying the Roman's child.  
Bran dragged the man off the cart and pressed the edge of his blade against the man's exposed neck, unveiling a few droplets of blood against the pale steel.

It was in that moment when all hope had faded for the Roman that Otter had decided to intervene. He had placed his hand onto Bran's shoulder and pulled him away gently.

Bran had been furious when Otter told the man to get back onto his cart and to go as quickly as possible. He had shoved Otter into the mud and smacked him across his face with his fist, but Otter hardly even cringed.

Bran hit him with both fist until Otter's face had turned purple and was drenched in blood.

He even clashed his head against Otter's, splitting his friend's lip in he process.

As he paused for a moment and gaped at the damage he had done to his best friend.

Tears were streaming over Otter's mangled cheeks and his blue eyes were sad and filled with disappointment.

''It's all right Bran, you can take it out on me. I will take it. _For_ _you_ ,'' he had choked out after he coughed a mouthful of blood into the grass. At the frailty of Otter's last two words Bran's face faltered and he finally saw reality again.

The red fog was clearing in his mind.

Bran's fist stalled at his sides and he gaped at his friend, his eyes large with horror.

Gods what had he done?

How could he have let the darkness inside of him prevail in such a horrid manner?

He had hurt the only person in the world who still cared about what happened to him. Hurt him badly. Beat him down as if he were an animal who had done something wrong to its master.

But Otter was not his pet. He was his best friend.

The one who had stood by him every since he lost his family and his homeland. He was all Bran had left in this world.

And this was how Bran had chosen to repay him for his endless friendship and companionship.

As he stared at Otter's face he felt a wave of nausea washing over him. Otter's lip was split into two and both his eyes were forced shut due to the mercilessness of his iron fists.

''Oh gods what have I done?!'' he had groaned as he tore a piece off his tunic to tend to Otter's wounds.

He lifted him from the grass and gently placed his upper body onto his lap. He dipped the cloth into cool water from his flask and carefully placed it to the cracked lip.  
He buried his face against Otter's hair and sobbed until his eyes hurt. ''I'm so sorry, I'm so sorry,'' he repeated endlessly but Otter shook his head warily.

''I-forgive-you,'' he murmured, a pained expression on his face.

''Why would you do such a foolish thing?'' Bran replied confused.

''Because-I believe-in you,''

The answer had stunned Bran into a long silence where his mind had been racing to make sense of the words.

Why in god's name would Otter believe in him? The only thing he was good in was letting people down. 

He had never done anything to earn his trust.

Instead he had dragged him across the land, hunting down Romans, executing them without any mercy, and now afterward he had decided to repay Otter for having his back by beating him to a pulp.

And yet Otter had still believed in him.  
That didn't make any sense to Bran.

''Why on earth would you believe in me? I have such _darkness_ inside of my heart Otter. I mean look at what I did to you today. You only wanted to help me, tried to prevent me from going down a path so dark that I could have never came back from.  
And this is how I repay you. Why would you believe in anything that I say or do?''

Otter had stared at him thoughtfully before he finally replied. ''Because I _see_ you. And you're a good man, despite of what you might think about yourself right now. You are merely a man who has lost everything he loved in the blink of an eye.  
You're hurting and you're angry at everything and everyone you see.  
You are indeed going down a very dark path, from with you might never recover, but this is why I am still here. I won't let you drown yourself into the dark. I care about you too much to let you get swallowed by the void. You need to come back into the light,''

Bran's head was spinning due to Otter's warm and surprising words and he swallowed thickly. ''And how do you intend to achieve such a miracle?''

Otter had smiled mysteriously at him and locked their eyes together.

He reached his hands to Bran's cheeks, cradled them slowly and tentative while his fingers stroked over his skin so soft that it made Bran shiver with emotions.

He gently maneuvered Bran's face down to his own so that their noses were nearly touching. ''I intend to show you that you still have much to live for, despite of what you might believe,'' Otter whispered and before Bran could reply he had closed the distance between them and pressed their lips together.

Bran could have sworn that his heart had stopped for a few moments when it happened.

He felt as if a lightning bolt coursed through his system the moment their lips met and he had never felt warmer or more alive than he felt during that moment.  
As the dazzling effects of the kiss surged through his soul, a realization hit him.

Otter _loved_ him. He loved him. Bran, the last remaining son of Cunoval.

The one who had failed his family on the battlefield.

Who had lost everything and who had failed in every aspect of his pathetic little life.

The realization was nearly too much for him to process. His inner demons got silenced by the soft lips that caressed over his and he was grateful for them.

Otter's lips were nothing like he had expected them to be. They were gentle, tender and brushing over his with a passion that he had never experienced before.

He had kissed women before but nothing could have ever compared to this. 

He tasted a hint of copper onto the lips, the result of his rage and the guilt coursed through him once again.

The kiss didn't last long, or maybe it did, Bran couldn't tell but when Otter's lips pulled back from his own, he could not help but to miss the feeling of them. The comfort they had provided him with.

Bran had opened his eyes and stared into Otter's eyes that were radiating with happiness. ''I've been wanting to do that since the first time I saw you,'' Otter admitted, a shy blush creeping over his cheeks now.

He had looked insecure all of the sudden and Bran raised a curious brow. ''Why are you so nervous suddenly?''

''Because I'm not certain that this was what you wanted. I'm afraid I overstepped some-''  
Bran pressed his finger to Otter's lips, silencing him instantly. ''Stop. I _do_ want this. Although I have to say that I had not realized that before this moment,''

''I know, that is why I helped you a little bit,'' Otter smiled, looking awfully triumphant.  
''How could you be so certain that I felt the same?''

''As I told you: I see into you. That is my gift apparently.  
I can read people better than anyone. And I feel so connected to you in so many surprising ways. I just knew. But I realized that you would never find the answer on your own, so I helped you reach the conclusion,''

''Hm I'm glad that you did, but promise me one thing?'' Bran demanded and Otter nodded slow. ''Promise me that you will _never_ let me beat you to a pulp like this. You do not have to accept that kind of shit from me, ever. Not you. I care for you too much to let you degrade yourself like this,''

Otter brought their lips together into another short kiss, smiling into Bran's mouth. ''I promise,''

 

''Where are you?'' Otter's voice brought Bran back to the present and he blinked twice to realize where he was.

''I'm sorry. I was thinking back to our first kiss actually,'' Bran grinned as he tugged an escaped lock of hair back behind Otter's ear.  
''Gods that seems like a lifetime ago doesn't it?'' Otter smirked.

''Even longer if that's at all possible. I almost cannot believe that it's only been twelve years,''

''Tell me about it. I cannot believe that I've been able to handle your sorry ass for such a long time,'' Otter teased and Bran gave him a nudge in his ribs.

''Be nice now,''  
''And why would I do that?''

''Well this is surely going to sound a bit cliche, but because you love me?'' Bran suggested but Otter shook his head, wearing a wide grin on his features.

''Nah not good enough. Change the course into the correct one and I will be nice to you,'' he negotiated and Bran gritted his teeth angrily.

Otter always did this. Trying to manipulate him into doing things his way. ''Don't do that,''

''I _have_ to, remember?''  
''Let's just go back to camp, they've probably been worried about us being gone for so long,''

''You're such an insufferable brat,'' Otter complained, sighing deep.  
''And yet you love me,''

''Better thank your gods for that miracle, but yes,'' Otter brought their lips together into a searing, panting kiss which contained mostly the scraping of teeth and held back anger.

And yet Bran needed this, he would always need this.

Even when they were fighting or disagreeing with one another. He would always desire Otter's lips to his own.

For they had the power to comfort him in ways that nothing else could. He had never experienced the feeling of needing someone before he had met Otter.

It was frightening sometimes, to know that he had so much to lose, but most of the times he valued their unbreakable bond above all other things in life.

With Otter he was home.

It surely wasn't always easy and they had endured heartache, arguments and numerous tears over the past decade together but it had always been more than worth it.

''All right, we will tell them. But I need you to have my back when I confess the truth,'' Bran said and he hated how his voice was breaking with frailty. He knew it was a needless question for Otter would always take his side, but he still needed to hear the words of comfort from his partner's lips.

For he was scared of his brother's rage. Really scared.

And that wasn't suppose to happen. He had a proud stature that left no room for fear, weakness or doubt.

Otter pulled him into a tight embrace and kissed his neck. ''I will always have your back, no matter what happens,''

Bran shuddered with held back tears, trying to forgo them but Otter sensed them regardless. ''Calm yourself now, it will all be all right. They might be angry at you but they will forgive you for it. I know it. Come along with me Bran, I will keep you safe,''

Bran nodded into his partner's shoulder and sniffed deep. He kissed Otter's forehead once again and clasped his face into his hands, stroking the soft skin of his cheeks with his thumbs. He felt himself drowning into those deep blue eyes once again. ''I love you,'' he murmured.

Otter smiled back at him and gave him a brief wink. ''I know,''

Bran untangled himself from Otter's embrace, picked the branches he had collected off the grass and they walked back to camp together.

Little Bran was following them close behind, staring at them with a bemused look on his face as if he were still trying to figure out what had happened between them.

When they had finally reached the camp, Bran noticed that Leo was looking rather angry.

''Are you two all right?'' he asked but Cristiano shook his head as to send him a warning.

''You lied to us!!!'' Leo burst out as he jumped to his legs and stormed into Bran's direction.

 

 

 

 

 

 

TBC....

 

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Oh my, another cliffhanger. 
> 
> God I'm evil. 
> 
> I hope you guys liked it. Bran is a difficult character for me to write, surprisingly. I thought it would be easier somehow.


	29. Brother's keeper.

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Bran and Leo face off in a clash of heated arguments. Will they be able to salvage the situation?

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Well this chapter just wrote itself. I personally feel a lot better about this one than I did about the previous one. I feel that I captured Bran's personality a bit better here. 
> 
> I'm curious to hear what you guys think, as always. Let me know. 
> 
> I love you all for still leaving me kudos and lovely comments. Without your support I couldn't continue this story.

_The protector._

 

 

 

 

Bran barely had time to think, let alone act as his furious little brother lunged at him, fists connecting with his stomach as hard as they could. Bran had obviously seen Leo angry multiple times when he had been a child.

Due to the fact that Leo was the youngest of the family and therefore had always been a bit _too_ comfortable using that quality to getting his way and manipulating others to turn the odds into his favor.

Leo had a way of showing Bran his sweetest smile whenever he wanted something that he had said no to. That and his huge irresistible brown eyes that resembled a young deer made it impossible for Bran to ever refuse Leo _anything_. His other siblings were just as volatile to his charms as Bran was.

But this. This was different in so many ways.

Leo was not merely _angry_ at him at the moment. He was beside himself with red hot fury that made Bran recoil. For a moment he reminded him of their father when he had been in a raging mood. The only missing aspect was the wavy long, gray hair and the thunderous black eyes.  

Bran felt haunted by the ghost of their father and shivered.   
If looks could kill Bran would have died right there on the spot. Leo was scaring him.

Honestly terrifying him to death with his heartfelt rage.

Clearly he had found out that he had lied to him about the direction in which they were heading, but Bran was struggling with himself in how to handle his little brother.

How had Leo even learned the truth? Had he followed them and listened to their conversation?

Would he truly be so _brazen_ as to disturb their privacy?

They had very few rules as they were on the road, but the one that Bran had enforced on all of them was the rule that they were to respect one another's seclusion. When one of the couples wanted some time alone, the other two would honor that request and leave them be for a while.

If Leo had broken that vow, it would upset Bran a lot. He had trusted in Leo to keep his word. Leo had a lot of faults but Brigantes were proudly known for being men of honor, if they pledged their word to someone they would keep it. _Always_. A broken vow was punishable by death in their Clan.

He missed the days where Leo was still that curious, wide eyed, little boy who used to climb onto his lap, forcing Bran to take him to the edge of the forest to gaze at the stars. Leo would suckle his thumb into his mouth and ask countless questions, wondering what the stars were, why the water was wet, why the sun came up every day and so on.

He desperately missed _that_ Leo.

The one who was still safe and secluded from the cruelty of the world. The child who had not a care in the world besides being quite small and scrawny. The one who could make Bran smile with a single smirk from his lips.

He longed back to the Leo who was protected from the Roman rapers and abusers who nearly destroyed his soul in the years of slavery he had to endure.

Bran wished he could have gone back to the day his family fell to find Leo, to keep him safe from all the horrors he had suffered through.

Bran would have rather endured them _himself_ than to ever let Leo be subject to those monsters. If only he could return to that day, to do it all different.

To do a better job in protecting the last people he cared about. But he had not done so. He had failed both Leo _and_ Isbeil, who also had suffered from her Roman tormentors. She still was in fact. The thought made him queasy. 

That guilt was still weighing him down like an anchor, torturing him at night when the nightmares of Leo being raped by numerous Romans before his eyes haunted his mind, causing him to awake bathed in sweat, tears streaming down his cheeks.

Otter was the only one who could soothe him in those moments, and Bran could not imagine his life without him by his side. Otter was his salvation.

A warm wave of emotion engulfed over him and he felt himself ease into the liquid love that his partner was radiating behind him. 'Don't think such heavy thoughts, you need to _trust_  in your little brother,' Otter's inner voice seemed to say to him. Otter was always encouraging him to have more faith in the people around him, but Bran found that immensely difficult.

People shouldn't be trusted. They felt too much, they were flawed, proud and imperfect. Unreliable. Oh and not to mention greedy and utterly _selfish_. As a young man he had found himself in countless debates with Conor over the matter, for Bran saw no reason why the Gods had wanted to create men.

Bran argued that the Gods should have stuck to the animals, seeing how men was only capable of destruction, but Conor had disagreed. He said that the Gods created men in their own image, that they made men flawed because it made them so much more beautiful.

That they were flawed and imperfect because the Gods were similar to them. The Gods also felt pain, joy, jealousy, betrayal and lust. They were _imperfect_ beings, who would not take lightly to being mocked.

Conor had always trusted in the Gods to keep them safe, but Bran was not much of a believer himself.

Never had been. He only believed in what he could see, feel and touch. Pledging his loyalty to invisible creatures seemed rather ridiculous if you asked him.  
In the end those blasted creatures had not protected Conor in the battle that destroyed their entire family.

They had allowed Conor to die, despite the fact that he had sworn his loyalty to them and had made offerings in their names.

Where were those powerful entities the day his family fell? And why had they allowed _him_ to survive, the non-believer, while they seemed so eager to kill his brother? Believing in Gods revolved around having unlimited faith in them.

He always believed that the Gods had no mercy, which was why they were Gods.

Which was why Bran would never be able to succeed in believing in them.

And yet they had spared him, given him a new life, a partner he couldn't imagine himself living without and they had granted him two of his siblings that he had presumed to be dead.

Why had they chosen to save him? He asked himself that question at least a couple of times a day and yet he never found an answer to it. Otter always said that he was saved because it had not been his time to die and that is was fate for them to meet and to fall in love.

Bran hardly believed in such romantic views of the world, but he had to admit that Otter's take on it was a lot more-enjoyable-than his own depressing opinion.

How Otter had stayed so loving over the years was beyond Bran's understanding. He had been tortured by the Romans, had been unmanned and maimed and yet he had still learned how to forgive them for being...well _Romans_.

But ending up in Cristiano's estate, being loved by him and his father had clearly done his partner a lot of good.  
It had formed him to the man he was today; loyal, strong, loving, _forgiving_ and fiercely protective over the ones he loved.

Bran had to agree with Cristiano that his father had done a very decent job raising Otter.

If Bran would ever lose him, he would _die_ , he never doubted that. Their love ran so deep that without it he would not be able to continue breathing if he would lose Otter.

A love like that was terrifying to Bran, to be so fragile that you could lose everything you loved in the blink of an eye.

It made him so desperately vulnerable. And that was the one emotion that Bran _hated_ above any other; feeling weak and helpless. He needed to be in control at all times.

And yet at this very moment, his little brother seemed adamant on smacking all of that control out of his system. His fists kept connecting with Bran's intestines but he could not stop Leo, he took the punishment like a man. His head held high.

Whatever Leo was fuming about, and that could only be one thing, he surely had deserved it. Perhaps this was Leo's way of releasing all of his old anger for Bran not being there to protect him from the Romans.

Maybe that was the underlying reason of his anger. Or perhaps that was simply Bran's interpretation, due to his endless guilt of failing to keep Leo safe. Maybe he was projecting himself onto his little brother.

''Leo, _stop_. That is enough,'' Otter said sharply. The unmistakable command in his voice made Leo's fist halt mid air and it slowly slumped to his side. Otter stepped toward them and gently placed his hand on Leo's shoulder, nudging him backward without using much force.

The calm and steadiness in his deep voice must have convinced Leo to listen to him, Bran thought.

Otter pulled Leo backward and folded his arms around his heaving chest. Cristiano was standing nearby looking similar to one of the Roman-god statues that his uncle had on display in his villa.

He looked simply too stunned to say anything clever for once.

Tensions rose even thicker into the air and a long, heavy silence followed.

''Cristiano, why don't you get some water boiling? I believe we can all use a cup of tea,'' Otter suggested and Cristiano blinked twice, his chestnut eyes huge and discerning but he obeyed nonetheless.

He placed the kettle onto the fire and sat down against the rock, covering himself with his cloak, gesturing to Leo to sit down between his legs.

''Come here Leo, let's get you warm. You're freezing,'' he observed as he opened the cloak invitingly.

Leo sighed deep, gave his brother one last seething gaze and stormed off, sitting down with his back against Cristiano's chest, as the woolen cloak covered both of them.

When the water boiled, Otter took the kettle from the fire, filled up four wooden cups with water and added some tea leaves to them. When he handed the cup to Bran, his fingers brushed against his, making both of them shiver.

They had also brought wine, but Bran knew that adding alcohol to the heightened heap of emotions would probably be a very poor idea. Clearly Otter had read his mind when he had suggested tea. A wise choice. 

Otter sat down besides Bran, pulling his knees up to his chest as he let the cup balance on his lap. He threw the blanket over the both of them and his left hand possessively found Bran's freezing right one, holding it tight for support, entwining their calloused fingers.

Bran felt a bit warmer instantly and his head automatically rested against Otter's shoulder. He knew that Otter sensed his distress and therefore knew that he needed to hold him close. He felt Otter's lips brushing against his hair, giving him a little more courage with a simple gesture. 

Leo took a sip of his tea and then faced his brother, fury rising to his cheeks again, which were looking stained with red smudges. ''Well, I'm waiting for an actual _explanation_ here,'' he snapped, and he folded his arms together.

Bran scraped his throat but once again it was Otter who beat him to it and replied. ''Leo, if you want to have this conversation then I will _have_ to ask you to restrain your anger. Right now it's bursting out of you in uncontrollable surges and it's making all of us uncomfortable and nervous. _Calm_ _yourself_ and we will talk about this,''

Leo gritted his teeth and his fingers curled a little tighter around his cup, but he remained silent.

Cristiano sat up behind him and stroked his fingers through Leo's thick hair, murmuring something into his ear that Bran could not understand.

Leo visibly relaxed and a tiny smile made its way to his features, softening him a bit. Reminding Bran of that careless little boy once again. It made his heart ache with longing that he could have that boy back someday. Knowing that he _never_ would.

Leo exhaled deep and swallowed. ''All right, I will listen to you,''

Now it was Bran's turn to get anxious. ''Thank you, well first of all, I'm curious as to know how you knew that I was lying to you,''

Leo snorted loud and Bran could almost hear his heartbeat hammering in his ears. ''Well a group of local farmers passed us by when you were off looking for firewood. I asked them if we were close to the Seal people and they told me that they lived on the other side of the country.  
That we had been going in the opposite direction for weeks now. Does that clarify the situation for you? You lied to us for weeks! Telling us that we've been going in the right direction to find the eagle, but you _deceived_ us. Why?''

Bran nearly snorted in amusement but managed to keep his facetious smile under control. ''You seriously ask that of me? Why I, your older brother who already presumed you were dead once, won't lead you into a hostile camp to find a stupid metal object? Are you joking? I'm trying to _save_ your life here!''

Cristiano huffed arrogantly. A hint of his Roman demeanor shining through. ''The eagle is not a stupid metal object. The eagle _is_ Rome. Wherever the eagle is, we can say: Rome did that,''

''Yes that's all bloody good and well, but maiming the man I love and prostituting my little brother? Rome _also_ _did_ _that_. Enslaving my sister!  
How can you honestly be proud of that blasted symbol of oppression and cruelty? I would burn that thing down to the ground if I had it in my hands right now!'' Bran lashed out, shivering with anger.

Cristiano tried to rise from his place to yell at Bran, presumably, or to assault him but Leo held him down. ''No, please don't. I have no desire for us to fight amongst one another. Bran doesn't mean it like that,''

''Like hell I do! I meant _every_ word of it! I would destroy that useless artifact if I had it in my hands right now,'' Bran objected. He felt Otter trying to calm him through their bond but it was futile. His calm presence couldn't reach Bran when his mind was so utterly stormy with emotion.

''You take that back!'' Cristiano shouted, and tension rose in the air like a firestorm waiting to burst free.

''Never! I already lost my entire family to your fucking _barbaric_ people. I'm not losing Leo for your stupid golden eagle.  
I won't allow it! Rome has taken everything from me and yet you ask me to sacrifice my _last_ brother in the process as if it is nothing? How dare you! I could just kill you right here for even suggesting such a stupid mission!''

Cristiano rose to his feet now, shoving Leo to the side and lunging at Bran, only to be stopped by Otter who had conveniently stepped in between them, forcing Cristiano to stay at a distance.

''Then why did you come along with us if this is such a stupid mission? You could have stayed home! We did not _ask_ you to come along!'' Cristiano seethed.

Bran chuckled, unamused. ''Home? What home? Thanks to your people I don't _have_ a home any longer. And I came along with you two idiots because I need to protect Leo, I would never forgive myself if I let him go without my security. I did not support this suicidal idea from the beginning and you know it.

But I came along to have _your_ _back_ , yours and his! Because despite of your Roman background, I find myself _loving_ you like I would love any of my brothers. I want to keep you safe as well Cris, don't you get that?

I'm trying to save you. And this is how you repay me?  
By doubting my love for you? I would die for you if I had to. For all of you. Do you have any idea what it feels like to watch your entire family die in front of your eyes?

Because I do. I lost _everything_  I cared for that day. You lost your father that day Cristiano an I am honestly sorry about that, but I lost them all.  
I wanted to die, even thought about slicing a knife across my throat, but then Otter found me and I knew that I had to go on for him, despite the fact that I _really_ wanted to lay myself to rest.

Being the eldest brother comes with a great burden. Whenever something was amiss with Leo or one of my other siblings, I got blamed for it by my parents.  
I got beaten for it. For it was my prerogative, my sacred _duty_ to keep them safe.

I suffered greatly to ensure their safety and their peace of mind. I did everything for them and in the end I failed them all. I lost them, because I was not adequate to keep them safe. Don't you understand? It was the one meaning I had in my life. Taking care of my siblings.  
And I lost.

Don't you dare think that there is anything more important to me then your safety. Yours, Leo's, Otter's _and_ the animals. I'm the shield that will guide your back. The blade that will enlighten you in the darkness.

I understand your anger, I do. But I could not do it. I could not risk your life voluntarily. So I deceived you, just a little. And for that I am sorry, but I will never apologize for my motives of keeping you safe.  
Going to the Seal people is sheer suicide.

Otter comes from that village and he knows firsthand how dangerous they can be. I cannot lead you into that trap and expect you to walk away from there unscathed. It will cost us lives, if we should dare to enter that village. And I'm not willing to pay the highest price for something as futile as a golden statue. Forgive me,''

Leo had tears streaming down his porcelain cheeks and he left his seat to embrace his brother. Bran nearly got the air knocked out of him when Leo collapsed into his ribs but still, the weight of him was calming.

He knew that Leo understood it now. If only he had been honest and clear about it from the start. He could have avoided this giant mess of heated emotions.  
Cristiano also seemed a lot more gullible now, his beautiful face aglow with a soft and respectful expression.

Leo smiled into Bran's neck and sighed. ''It isn't easy being papa bear is it?'' he asked and Bran shook his head in agreement.

''Not one bit no. I wouldn't wish it onto anyone. I deserve your anger, I realize that, but I hope you understand why I did it,''

''I do now, and perhaps we were a bit hard on you. I'm sorry for hitting you so hard,'' Leo offered, as he placed a small kiss to Bran's scarred cheek.  
He hadn't done that since he was a little boy and the gesture took Bran back to their childhood. Leo used to reward him with a kiss when Bran had told him a goodnight story, or when he brought him some of the baked partridge that he loved so much.

Until now he hadn't realized how much he had missed the gentleness of such a gesture.  
Amazed he stroked his fingers over the skin that Leo had kissed. ''You look like you've seen a ghost,'' Leo noticed.

''Well you haven't done that since you were about six-years old. I was merely shocked that is all,''

''I love you Bran, and I want to thank you for protecting us so fiercely that it got you in trouble,'' Leo said with a mischievous smile dancing on his lips.

''I love you too little one. And I will have your back, always,''

Otter wiped a lonely tear off his cheek and Bran felt his heart grow three sizes.

How it was humanly possible that a man of his size and statue could have such a loving heart was beyond his understanding.

Especially seeing his painful background. It was a miracle that Otter had not destroyed himself along the way, he thought.  
Bran loved the wild man so much, it actually pained him that he couldn't hold him in his arms at the moment. Even when he was near him, he could still miss him.

Cristiano had shuffled forward, looking like a small child that wanted to apologize to his father. ''Um Bran? Can you forgive my anger?'' he asked, his voice nearly unrecognizable.

Bran released Leo and got to his feet, pulling Cris into a tight embrace that clearly took him by surprise for Cristiano let out a gulp of air. ''There is _nothing_ to forgive Cris, after all, I said some horrible things to you as well. I hope you realize that I didn't mean it like that. I can easily overstep my boundaries when it comes to protecting the ones that I love.  
I've been talking to Otter on our way here and we came up with some ideas to enter the Seal people's village without them getting suspicious of us. A ruse of sorts that might just get everyone back alive. If we're lucky.  
And as much as I would want to take you boys home with me to never look back, I gave you my word that I would help you.  
So I will. No more tricks, I promise. But we have to be smart about it. I suggest we start making a plan and afterward move to the correct route. Does that sound good?''

Cristiano beamed at him, his eyes grateful and expectant. ''Yes, that sounds great. Thank you. I cannot thank you enough for helping us in this matter. I know that it goes against everything you believe in but-''

Bran raised his hand to silence him. ''Leo believes in you. And that is good enough for me. If he has faith in you then so do we,''  
Otter stepped besides them, laying his arms around Bran and Cristiano and held them close.

Leo clearly felt left out of the embrace for he snuggled in between the three men and nearly disappeared in their large arms.  
They stood like that for a while, captured in that tight hug and Bran felt the love radiating from the other men's bodies.

After a long moment he released them, composing himself steadily. ''Well I feel like that was enough for one day. I do not mind a hug but too much of it makes me-''  
''- _highly_ uncomfortable,'' Otter chimed in, giving him a cheeky wink.

''What he said,'' Bran smirked and he clasped Leo and Cris on their shoulders before stepping back and sitting down on the soft earth. Otter slid beside him and wrapped his arms around his shoulder, nudging him closer, aching for more contact.

He kissed Bran's lips briefly and let his touch drift to his forehead.

The warm lips ended on Bran's temple, where they rested peacefully. For they _belonged_ there. Safe in Otter's warmth, Bran finally felt his walls come down. His hardened mask was being lifted from his face and the real Bran emerged from the depths of his being.

He should have felt vulnerable and exposed, showing this side to Leo and Cristiano, but surprisingly he didn't. He was at peace.

As long as he was near Otter, he would be whole. Loved. Complete. Happy.

Bran succumbed to a deep slumber before he had even realized it. Only to be awoken by Otter, a few moments later. ''Hm? What is it?'' he grumbled, hovering somewhere on the edge of a state of fogginess.

''I adore you,'' Otter said, quite unnecessary, because of course Bran knew that. ''Yes, I _realize_ that,''

''I know you do,''

''Then _why_ are you waking me? If you love me you let me sleep,'' Bran whispered grumpily.

''I'm waking you because I _miss_ you,''

''Don't be stupid, I'm right here,'' Bran exclaimed. It sounded harshly but he knew that Otter realized that it wasn't meant as such.

''Gee thank you for pointing that out darling,'' Otter mocked, as he leaned in closer, pressing his lips to the shell of Bran's ear. ''I'm saying that I miss having you closer than this. I miss you _owning_ me,'' he whispered huskily, as he gently closed his lips around the soft skin under Bran's ear.

Bran could barely suppress a small groan and his cheeks flushed, while his heart rate went berserk.

Gods how he had missed making love to Otter. It had seemed like ages since they had been together.

But they couldn't do this. Not here, not now.

Otter sucked his ravishing lips on a merciless path down Bran's neck, making his body arch and beg for more, as his brain desperately searched for words to make Otter stop. Not that he ever wanted him to stop. He might actually had to hurt someone if he dared to stop now.

''Otter, we-can't. Not-here,'' he panted, already breathless from the ecstatic emotions that flowed through his being. ''Why not love?''

''Leo and Cris, we-cannot-leave-them-behind,''

''The cubs can watch them, besides, we don't have to go far do we?'' Otter said in his most seductive voice, causing heat to pool in Bran's stomach. Otter's lips caught his own and before he knew it they were entangled into a dance of heated tongues and devouring lips.

Why couldn't he ever refuse Otter anything? The man would always be his greatest weakness, in all possible meaning of that word.

However, the need to protect his family overcame his own personal desire and he felt himself recoil from Otter's touch, whether he liked it or not. It took all of his willpower to slowly back away from Otter's touches, but he succeeded.

Until Otter, damn that relentless, wonderful man, decided to unfold the long braid that held Bran's hair together, unleashing his long dark locks which fell down like a curtain.

When he started massaging his fingers through it, Bran's last defenses fell through. He couldn't bear it when Otter cradled his long hair into his hands, while slowly mapping his lovely fingers through the locks. It was his ultimate soft spot.

He moaned and leaned back into the touches before he could help himself, leaning his back against Otter's strong chest. ''That's bloody cheating and you know it,'' he complained.

''Desperate times,'' Otter merely replied, as he lifted the heavy hair and sucked a dire kiss to the skin of his sensitive neck. ''Oh-stop, you're killing me,'' Bran begged, although he wasn't quite certain what he was begging for; for Otter to continue or to stop. Right now he favored the latter. 

''Let's get out of here, I _need_ you, please...'' Otter pleaded. Bran sighed deep and decided to give up. ''All right, but we don't go too far and if I hear the cubs crying out we immediately return,''

''Deal,'' Otter said with his most radiant smile.

When he laughed like this, he instantly looked ten years younger and twenty times more beautiful, if that was even possible.  
His dark blue eyes were heady pools of love and desire and Bran couldn't wait to drown in them once again.

Otter got up first and stuck his hands out to Bran to help him to his feet. It never seized to amaze Bran, how such a brutish, hard man could also be so gentle.

They halted at the cubs and told little Bran to stay behind and watch the rest of the pack.

Then they wrapped their arms around each other and vanished into the darkness of the night.

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

TBC........

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Well I hope that went as you guys hoped it would go. 
> 
> I hope that I captured Bran's character a little more in this chapter. Also, I'm really adoring Otter. Like really. Like a lot. He's turning into my favorite character if he keeps it up like this. 
> 
> And no, I'm not going to skip the smut that I'm pointing to at the end of this chapter. I will write that, next time. From Otter's POV. And I'm freaking terrified of the prospect of it, but I'm going to do it regardless. Because I want to explore this bond even further. 
> 
> I hope people aren't too upset that the story isn't all about Leo and Cris anymore. Let me know what you think. It matters to me. <3


	30. Children of the night.

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Bran and Otter rekindle their love.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Sorry for making you guys wait this long. But on the bright side: there is smut in this chapter. 
> 
> I'm so anxious about it, you have no idea. I'm so worried that it will suck. I have had help from a friend during this chapter so I hope that you guys like it.

_Otter_.

 

 

 

 

''Really? _Here?''_ Bran snorted, when Otter had led him to a stream nearby.  
''Why not? Afraid to get a little wet?'' Otter smirked.

Bran frowned cautiously and stroked Otter's cheek. ''No, but you know that the water isn't exactly helpful when I-well you know. It tends to make everything even more complicated and rough,''

''Bran, it's been nearly a _month_. Rough is precisely what I need right now. Besides: I miss the water with every fibre of my being. I had to act as if I hated it for weeks around Cris and Leo,''

''But we'll get everything wet, and in this weather we could get sick if we trash around in an ice cold stream at night,'' Bran protested.

Otter patted his hand onto a packed bag that he was carrying in his arms. ''I got spare clothes with me, don't you worry old man,''

''If you want me to fuck you, I suggest that you change your tone,'' Bran murmured, but there was no venom in his voice.

Otter pecked his lips briefly and smiled. ''Are you saying _yes_ to my proposal?''

''Fine, but if you get sick, I'm _not_ taking care of you,''

''Of course you will, but don't you worry, I won't get sick. I belong to the water, remember?'' Otter teased.

''Yes, you can take a boy out of the seal people's village, but you can't take the seal out of the boy,'' Bran said wisely.

Otter nodded knowingly, feeling lust pooling in his stomach. ''Exactly, besides: I brought oil with me to ease the way. So why don't we get you out of these clothes,''

He leaned over to pull Bran into a tight embrace, containing of constricting limbs, heated lips and searing emotions. It had been far too long, he pondered. Bran hadn't owned him in weeks, which had been complete and utter torture.

Their love making wasn't merely a psychical act, it was a way for them to connect on an even deeper level than they usually did.

For them to be truly _one_ , body and soul.

When Otter sensed that Bran was still hesitating toward the idea of doing it in the shallow water, he recoiled and seductively shed his clothes, baring himself completely before he stepped into the freezing water, shivering slightly as the waves kissed at his legs.

The sensation of it nearly brought him to tears for he had missed being in the water nearly as much as he had missed being close to Bran. It had been so hard, to be that close to him and to keep his distance around their brothers.

When they had first started to act on their desires, years ago, it had been very hard for Otter to bare himself in front of Bran. He felt like his body was mutilated and ugly and he despised himself on many occasions, his inner voice saying that Bran was too good for him.

That Bran was too beautiful for a monster like him. 

That he deserved better, a man who was still whole.

But Bran had kissed his fears away instantly and always told him precisely how beautiful he found him. And Otter believed him, for Bran would never lie to him.  

Bran swallowed thickly. ''You're completely  _insane_ , you do realize that right?''

Otter shrugged nonchalant. ''I don't care. Why don't you come here and warm me a little bit,''

''How cold is it?''

''Quite cold, but I know a way to heat up,'' Otter smiled.

Bran exasperated and shed his clothes slowly, making certain that Otter wasn't missing out on his little performance.

Otter grumbled. If he would still have a cock, he was certain that it would be throbbing by now, _achingly_ hard.

But unfortunately for him, there was nothing there. Merely a deep seethed ache that lingered in his lower abdomen, spreading down to his groin.

Bran stepped into the stream, gritting his teeth at the temperature of the dark water and wrapped his arms around Otter, hauling him in.

“I’ve been thinking about you all day,” Bran said. He kissed Otter's cheek, licked his lips, bit lavishly at his neck. “I want you _so_ bad,”

“Want you too,” Otter groaned, jostled by a particularly hard thrust that reminded him of exactly how large and stiff Bran’s cock was.  
Bran bit at his ear and whispered, “You’re so _insanely_ hot,”

Otter’s smile turned into a smirk, face already scrunched up in lust.

His fingers were curling through Bran's long hair, making him moan and writhe with need.

Bran’s body was always so warm, it practically radiated heat, and Otter could feel it spreading everywhere, warming the both of them in the icy water.

Bran was like a glowing sun that enveloped Otter in light, that Otter revolved around and couldn’t live without. Not any longer.

Bran slowly moved Otter up on the riverbank and tugged Otter with him, until he was properly laying in the grass with Bran still draped over him.

His legs were still standing in the water, thoroughly enjoying the sensation of the waves that tickled at his skin. 

Otter wiggled his ass impatiently as he waited for Bran to take him.

Bran was holding his hip and his stomach, playing with his nipples and kissing at the back of his neck.

It was hard for Otter to hold his head up and even harder to keep his arms straight. Bran always managed to turn him into a puddle, and he was so impatient, so utterly starving for sex.

When Bran’s fingers slid over his ass, it was heaven, and Bran huskily whispered in his ear, “So did you _miss_ me?”

Otter shivered and shook his head, too heady to form words and too proud to say _‘yes.’_

Bran's calloused fingers squeezed at his cheeks, and stray fingertips kept brushing over his crack.

Bran teasingly rubbed his forefinger just above Otter’s hole, playing with his soft flesh, making him moan and writhe. The water that collapsed around their ankles wasn't cold anymore. In fact, it felt like a warm embrace.

“Not even a little bit?” Bran purred, making Otter wonder again why Bran had to be so damn attractive. His voice was thick and deep, and his strong hands worked at Otter’s ass and nipples with such skill.

And his mouth, _gods_ , his mouth was so hot against Otter's ear.

When both of Otter’s nipples were impossibly hard, Bran's hand slipped down his stomach and splayed right above his groin.

Otter whined and tried to thrust himself into Bran’s sturdy hand, but his lover held him tighter and chided him. “Eager thing aren't you? For someone that hasn’t missed me.”

Otter groaned helplessly and rubbed himself shamelessly against Bran’s finger, which was just refusing to go in. “Shut it.” He was all but forgotten that he loved playing Bran's _property_ when they made love; that he should really play nice.

Bran was clearly as into it as he was but always loved to make Otter suffer.

He continued to tease Otter's stomach and his rear, and Otter rocked between the two hands, attempting to press back even further so that he could feel Bran’s cock again.

He growled, “Bran...” in a frustrated warning. Gods how he wished that he had time to suck Bran off right now, for there was nothing he enjoyed more than doing exactly that, but he knew that time was short.

He could practically feel Bran smirking above him. That _smug_ bastard, he mused with a smile.

Bran nibbled at the back of his neck, and with an irritated sigh, Otter moved one of his arms back, reaching underneath himself to grab Bran's hand. He was far too turned on to keep himself upright with just one arm, and he inevitably slipped onto the riverbank, face down in the damp moss.

He heard Bran chuckle above him but felt his heavy body covering his own. Bran moved Otter’s hand so he could ground his hips into Otter’s ass. He grabbed Otter’s cheeks and spread them apart, rubbing his cock in between them, over Otter’s aching crack.

Otter practically cried out at the stimulation and whispered soft words. “I missed you, fuck me, Bran, fuck me, please...”

An arm abruptly returned to his stomach, hauling him up. Otter obediently put his hands back, flat on the riverbank, keeping himself sturdy for Bran. Bran kissed him appreciatively, and Otter longingly arched back into Bran’s taut stomach.

Bran moved away for a few seconds, and Otter could guess what for. As he heard a cork being unscrewed and slick spreading over fingers he knew he'd been right.

When Bran’s fingers returned to his ass, they were slowly dancing over Otter's entrance.

Otter tried to thrust himself back once again, but Bran pulled away and murmured, “Patience,” against the side of his face. “I don’t want to hurt you.”

“Hurt me, I don't even care anymore,” Otter breathed, lashes fluttering. “Just fuck me already...”

But Bran still remained maddeningly protective and rubbed at his puckered hole far too lovingly. When a blunt fingertip finally forced its way inside, Otter’s gasp was rippled with pleasure.

 _Finally_. He tried to be still and patient while Bran slowly pushed it in, and tried to relax, tried to be ready.

He literally could not wait for a second finger to join in, and he shifted excitedly when he could feel another curved nail around his entrance.

It felt strange, of course, being breached by two fingers, carefully stretched apart and pushed into. But he knew what it led to, and the anticipation bubbled on his skin.

He didn’t want it to be over too soon. He truly did miss Bran. He had thought about Bran all day.

He wanted to enjoy Bran, for as long as he still could, and he was so needy and foggy right now that a few thrusts inside of him would do it; he would be shamelessly coming.

He couldn't have an orgasm like a normal man obviously, but when Bran hit his prostate in the right manner, he could still come.

The only thing lacking would be a drooping cock. It felt strange at first, hell it even hurt sometimes, but in the best possible ways.

Bran added a third finger, a courtesy that Otter was still not used to. But with Bran, he needed it.

He knew precisely how big Bran was, how full he would feel. But he was impatient too, and he made keening sounds while Bran slowly finger-fucked his ass, wetly and calm.

Otter’s arms were shaking.

When it all became far too much, and he knew that Bran’s fingers were too close, too close to the right spot, too far in and too broad for him not to shiver in delight, Otter begged. ''Bran, please,''

Bran immediately withdrew his fingers, and a second later, Otter could feel the spongy head of Bran’s large cock at his entrance, either leaking profusely or dripping in oil.

Bran’s hands grabbed ahold of Otter’s hips, and Bran hissed above his ear. “Ready?”

Otter nodded so fast that he worried his neck might snap. He just barely stopped himself from pleading _‘yes,’_ over and over again. Not that he had any pride left at that point.

He was a quivering mess and he wanted Bran’s huge cock in-him-right-now.

Fortunately, Bran didn’t need to be told twice.

He pushed inside in a short burst, and Otter cried out as the head popped inside of him.

Bran bit into his shoulder, and Otter’s face contorted, the dual sensations competing in his addled head, as Bran pushed further and further in.

Bit by bit, he slid home into Otter’s ass, thickly and easily, all at once. It hardly hurt, but it burned deliciously. It was so hot that it nearly made Otter drool.

His mouth was dangling open in a permanent moan, eyes half-lidded and pupils dilated. It filled him up all the way to the brim, so far that Otter could hardly believe it. It felt perfect.

When Bran’s balls hit his ass, Otter started trembling all over, trying desperately to stay on his legs. Bran's cock felt like it belonged inside him, it always felt like that.

It was right at home, and they fit together so well. Bran’s chest pressed into his back, his powerful hands gripping at his waist, Bran's scorching breath on his neck.  
Bran smelled musky, masculine and a little earthy, like he always did.

He stilled and waited as Otter adjusted.  
Then Otter whined and tried to wriggle against Bran. “You feel _so_ good,” Bran hissed.

Otter was too far gone to talk; he merely moaned.

Bran kissed him and slid out. Otter mourned the loss of every precious centimeter, until Bran was slamming back in, hard enough to make Otter fall forward, only steadied by Bran's arms, holding him close.

Bran pulled out again, slammed in again, and each thrust made Otter’s breath hitch.

His lungs were already struggling as it was. His heart was beating far too fast.

He felt glad that Bran was holding his chest, even if it was tight, even if it would bruise; he needed it to stay upright.

Bran pounded into him harder with every thrust, harder and harder, until it was too much, and he send Otter tumbling forward onto the pillows of moss again. Bran held his hips up.

He was still mounting him and fucking him like an animal, like a dog. It was driving Otter mad with need and he felt the urgent need to come.

But he didn’t want it to end just yet. Bran was hitting that spot, Otter didn’t even know how he was always able to find the right angle, but he loved him for it.

With each thrust pleasure exploded inside of him, snaking up his spine and crawling along his skin. It felt so good, so heavenly good. He had waited weeks for this and it was so worth it...

He could feel Bran’s body falling over his, just as sticky with sweat, just as hot. It was comforting.

Bran’s scarred arms slipped down his body, up on either side of him, but his hips couldn’t fall, for he was still impaled on Bran’s huge cock.

He could feel Bran's heavy balls slapping against him, Bran's thighs clashing with his own. He wondered if he would be able to sit on Donall's back tomorrow. He was probably turning pink; he would definitely bruise.

Bran's heavy shoulders pinned him down into the grass. His hands ran up and down his arms and grabbed at his wrists, holding them up in the moss, so that he could keep _control_ over him.

Something that always aroused Otter immensely.

“You’re so tight,” Bran growled in his ear. “So perfect. I wish I’d fucked you in a berm somewhere along the way. Can't believe we waited this long...”

Otter grunted. ''Uhhh...” He really wanted to agree. He wanted to. His hair was stuck to his forehead. Bran kept slamming into him, so hard, splitting him open with delicious bliss.

Bran bit at his neck again, just little love bites -that Leo and Cris would surely notice- and licked over them, as he sucked hard. Otter wanted to be marked.

He wanted to be covered with love bites like he had when they were younger.

He wanted Bran’s fingerprints all over him, wanted Bran’s name on a collar.

In that moment, he wanted the world to know who he belonged to, and he shuddered, moaning deep, “Bran...”

“You look so beautiful like this, so eager for me,” Bran groaned, and he sounded like a great beast, deep and powerful.

One of his hands slipped from Otter’s wrist, trailing his arm, leaving goose-bumps behind. It played down Otter’s shoulders, slipped under his chest, palmed his nipples, pressed into his stomach.

Otter gasped and arched up into Bran, wanting them to be even closer. He wanted to bound them together, but with space to pull apart enough for Bran to fuck him, pound him into the moss, just like that.

Bran caressing his scarred groin, sent Otter over the edge.

Some days the ugly scar would hurt him, but during sex it could feel quite good to be touched there.  
Otter knew that he couldn’t last much longer, but he still hated for it to end.

He felt warmth pool in his stomach, as his orgasm builded up rapidly. He shivered all over, and as Bran pounded against his prostate one last time he was coming hard, screaming his release and clutching onto the moss for dear life.

His orgasm ripped through him with enough intensity to black him out, and his ass spasmed around Bran’s cock.

Otter has barely come down from his high, when Bran bit hard into his shoulder, making Otter cry out again and tense in Bran's arms.

Bran was pounding into him so hard that he toppled forward again, pinned down by Bran’s wildly pistoning hips, as his lover came hard inside of him.

He could actually feel it welling up, felt it splashing everywhere, and he was still spasming and gritting his teeth. He was still high and heady and he'd never felt so ravished in all his life.

He couldn’t get back up to his knees if he wanted to.

He felt boneless and spent, and Bran seemed perfectly happy to fuck out his own orgasm.

When it was all out, Bran collapsed, sliding back in, buried to the hilt.

He held onto Otter tightly: Otter was a _panting_ mess.

Bran was breathing just as heavily over his shoulder, heavy all over Otter’s back. Otter came back down slowly. He felt limp, tired, and drained. But blissful, so utterly content.

But he still reached a hand back to grab Bran's ass when Bran moved as if to pull out.

Otter held him down for a few minutes, and Bran, indulgently as ever after sex, stayed. When Otter was too tired to hold his arm up anymore, he dropped them, and Bran slipped out of him.

Otter could actually feel the cum pulling out too, stretching out before dripping across his ass.

He glanced over his shoulder as Bran wiped his dick off on Otter’s abused cheeks, and Otter flushed.

Wondering longingly if it would be possible for Bran to get hard again so fast after such a mind-blowing orgasm. He wouldn't mind going for another round.

But somehow he knew that his lover could use a break.

Their orgasms had taken a toll on both of them.

Bran leaned in to kiss him and Otter felt his heart rate pounding in his ears at the delicious sensation of the plastered lips to his own. Lips he loved so much. Lips he couldn't live without.

Bran turned him around and helped him to his feet, leading him a bit further into the river so they could wash up.

Otter's knees were shaking and he worried about staying on his feet. But Bran's arm was hauled around his waist within seconds, somehow sensing his partner's weak limbs.

''I got you, don't worry,'' Bran whispered into his ear, kissing his earlobe gentle. ''I know, you always have me,'' Otter said happily.

They trailed further down the river and Bran pulled Otter underwater before he could protest, holding him down playfully. Bran had always been such an incredible tease of a man.

It felt comforting to know that some things would never change between them.

When Otter came up for air he splashed a hand of water in Bran's face. ''You bastard! Don't you _ever_ grow up?'' he complained, but his grin eluded him.

''Apparently not,'' Bran chuckled, as he wrapped his arms around Otter's body, slowly nudging them under the water, holding him tight. Otter took his revenge by refusing to kiss Bran.

They washed each other's hair and bodies quickly and swam back to the riverbank, drying themselves with some blankets.

They dressed themselves in thin underclothes and put their cloaks on each other's shoulders.

As they re-entered the camp they slumped down in each other's arms by the fire, laying in a delicious calm bliss that always followed after their passionate lovemaking.  
Otter curled up behind Bran and buried his face in his lover's neck, trailing soft kisses to the warm skin. ''That was perfect,''

Bran smiled and turned around to kiss him. ''It really was. I can't even begin tell you how much I have missed you,''  
''You don't have to, I'll know it anyway,''

With those words they fell into a deep and content slumber.

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Well, what did you think? Was it okay? 
> 
> *runs and hides*
> 
>  
> 
> Oh btw, I'm not certain if eunuchs can still have orgasms when they are missing a penis. So if it's not possible, that's my bad. *reminds self to do more research on eunuchs*


	31. Faded.

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Cris and Leo argue. 
> 
> Afterward, the group gets ambushed on their way north.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Sorry for vanishing for so long. I can't believe it's been two months since I've updated this. It took me all day to write this chapter, so forgive the errors please. My eyes can barely see the screen any longer. 
> 
> I hope this was worth the wait. 
> 
> Teen warning: bloody scenes coming up in the end. 
> 
> BTW Cris fights with a Gladius, it's a typical Roman sword.

_Cristiano_.

 

 

 

 

 

A few days after the altercation between Bran and Leo, Cristiano noticed by the look of the terrain that they finally started to move in the right direction.

North-east was the way they had to ride if they ever hoped to reach the Seal people.

So North-east they went. The landscape had certainly changed dramatically during these past few days. The soft oceans of grass had transformed into hard plains which were littered with rocks and treasonous roads.

The horses struggled with the new scenery and they had to walk during some parts of the journey besides their horses to prevent injuries. 

Cris knew that going into the right direction was Bran's way of apologizing for misleading them for weeks, or as close as an apology as he was ever going to get.

The atmosphere between the four of them had improved tremendously after their fight.

Bran was often trying to make amends to Cris and Leo with little gestures of good faith.

A nice cup of tea in the morning, an extra lesson of sword fighting where he gave nothing but compliments even when they got it completely wrong, and he even killed a boar and roasted it on a big fire two nights ago.

He was risking a lot with that peace offer, as Otter happily pointed out, seeing how rogue warriors could been attracted by the smoke. But Bran was as relentless as always and refused to be stopped.

It had to be said that the roasted boar was one of the most delicious meals Cristiano had ever had.

Yesterday morning Bran had even made all of them breakfast. Otter made a notion that he really ought to _stop_ beating himself up but Bran ignored him, being as thickheaded as ever.

He even hugged them a lot more than usual for things that usually didn't require a hug as a reward. He had hugged Cris after he gave him a kettle to put on the fire one day. 

As if he were afraid that they would evaporate into thin air, leaving him all alone.

''Is Bran feeling all right?'' Cris asked Leo when they went to get water for the horses after a long day of riding. Nightfall was upon them and it was raining once again.

It seemed to be raining _forever_ in the dour, dreary country that Leo called home.

Cris had gotten quite tired of it frankly. All their stuff being _constantly_ drenched, their clothes that were soaking and the fact that the cold, icy winds made all of them sniffle and cough didn't exactly help either.

The animals suffered from the weather as well.

The cubs were whining and shivering constantly and the horses were restless and tired.

Only Adair, Bran's horse, seemed to relish the weather and was prancing along the wilderness as if it meant nothing to him.

Then again, Adair belonged to this land. He'd grown up in the north.

Cristiano however belonged in the south, where the climate was a lot warmer and more forgiving. 

''Why wouldn't Bran be all right?'' Leo asked sharply, creasing a thoughtful eyebrow, that made him look even more like his older brother.

He filled his bucket with ice-cold water from the small creak and rose to his feet, folding his arms together as he rested against the base of a tree.

''I don't know, he's just been acting quite _strange_ lately. He's nicer somehow, you can't tell me that you haven't noticed,''

Leo exhaled deep. ''Of course I've taken notice of that, I'm not blind. But why would him being kind count as a bad thing?''

''It's not a bad thing per se, it's just-unusual to me. It makes me feel a little uncomfortable I guess. He seems to be compensating for misdirecting us and I have a feeling he might do something stupid and nobel that would sacrifice himself in order to save us. I'm just _worried_ about him, I guess,''

Leo's eyes softened a bit and he stroked Cris' cheek. ''And I love you for that. But Bran's fine. We will all be fine,''

''Since when did you become such a heartfelt optimist?'' Cris teased. Leo nudged his ribs and pushed him playfully backward into the dirt.

''I'm not, I just happen to have faith in my brother,'' he grinned.  
''So do I, but still-''

''Yes, I've heard you. That said, we will not talk about this again. We are all fine. Bran is fine. No need to worry your pretty little head about him.  
It would be better if you spend your time working on a plan which allows us to invade the Seal people's village and leave there with the eagle and all our heads still attached to our bodies. No need to worry about such useless things,'' Leo said sternly.

He folded his arms together again with the same stubborn expression that his brother could have in his eyes and Cris knew that a further discussion would be a total waste of his breath.

Leo was _never_ going to budge. Not when it came to this topic. Probably not about _any_ topic.

Damn those stubborn Brigantes, he thought grimly. 

''Fine, be like that. It's all _fine_ , we're all great. Keep lying to yourself if it makes you feel any better. But I know that you're full of crap. And so do you. You're not fine Leo, none of us are. You're scared of heading up north, we all are. You don't have to act all tough around me. I know you far better than that,'' Cris said as he rose to his feet.

Maeve was whining at their legs, clearly sensing the palpable tension between them, begging them to stop.

He leaned back down and stroked Maeve's silver back, shushing her softly. ''Stop being a shit Leo. You're upsetting our little girl,'' he said to Leo, who released a giant gulp of air and slumped his shoulders, offering his surrender.

He crouched down besides Cris and trailed his fingers along Maeve's side, placing a kiss to the top of her wet head. ''I'm sorry Maeve, we didn't mean to upset you,''  
The wolf stared intently at him but licked his cheek lovingly, she'd clearly already forgiven him.

Cris however had _not_ , as Leo knew very well.

Leo moved his fingers along Maeve's back and placed them over Cris', his thumb sliding over the palm of Cris' hand, making him shiver with anticipation.

It was Leo's way of apologizing and despite the fact that Cris would have preferred the actual _words_ of apology, he knew better.

Brigantes apologized with their actions rather than words.

What was in their hearts could be read by their deeds, for their harsh words and demeanor usually meant nothing.

Leo leaned in closer and placed a hard kiss to Cris' lips.

It was over far too quickly for Cris' liking but he knew he had to take the gesture regardless.

Leo loved him, that much he knew. That was the one thing that Cris would never ever have doubts about.

Not even when they couldn't agree on anything as usual.

Their bickering would never come to an end and a part of Cris didn't want it to. Some hidden piece of his heart loved debating with Leo.

Enjoyed seeing the fire in his Briton's eyes whenever they were ensnared into a heated discussion. It made him even more beautiful somehow. More alluring and dangerous.

That said, Cristiano had gotten quite tired of being Leo's personal punching bag.

He deserved more than that, no he _demanded_ more than that. Leo had no right to treat him in such a cold, demeaning manner.

He'd done that quite a lot these past few weeks, unbeknownst to Cristiano as to _why_ , but he'd gotten fed up with it.

As Leo rose to his feet, clasping the ropey strap of the bucket in his hand, Cris stepped forward and took ahold of his arm, steading him. Leo wasn't going anywhere until he had apologized to him. Cris was always far too lenient with Leo. 

He gritted his teeth furiously and words erupted from his mouth before he could stop them.

Weeks and weeks of repressed anger suddenly eluded his lips. ''Leo, don't you _dare_ walk away from me. I might be your partner but you don't get to talk to me in that manner ever again. Do you understand me?  
I refuse to be talked to like that. Not by you. I'm not your doormat or your servant. You will treat me with the same respect as I give you. These past few weeks you've been really _disrespectful_ to me and I'm not accepting that any longer. Talk to me like this again and I swear that you'll regret it,''

Leo's gold-brown eyes narrowed themselves dangerously and he stroked a hand through his thick strains of brown hair. Cris knew that his words had infuriated Leo.

But he could care less about that today. Leo needed to show him more respect. 

Leo laid his hand on top of Cristiano's and squeezed it roughly, hurting Cris in the process but he refused to flinch.

''You're _not_ my doormat nor my servant. How could you even think such thoughts? That I would think so little of you. I know I've been distant with you and a bit tensed and even rude sometimes, but don't you dare call yourself my servant. You mean everything to me. I know I don't say it all the time but you know it's true.  
I would die for you. But I've been afraid of losing you lately. I think that's why I've been so distant with you. If I never let you be mine I can't lose you. I've already lost so much, I cannot afford to lose you as well,''

Tears were shimmering in Leo's eyes as he'd spoken but Cristiano only felt defeated and confounded. An ice cold shiver that had nothing to do with the weather went over his spine. ''What are you saying exactly?''

Leo swallowed thickly and stood on his toes to kiss his cheek. ''I'm saying that I shouldn't be your partner anymore. I can't afford it to love you. Not right now.  
It's too dangerous and it will only cloud our judgement. This entire journey is a fool's errand Cris. We'll _never_ make it back home alive, or at least not all four of us.  
If we do get back home in one piece, maybe then we can be together again. Right now I just cannot risk losing you. It would break me. My father was right after all: caring is not an advantage,''

Cris couldn't believe his ears. And yet he knew that he had heard Leo correctly.  
Leo was trying to end their relationship.

Trying to create distance between them to protect himself from heartache.

Didn't he realize that it was far too late for that already?

That Leo had the power to possess each part of Cris' heart and soul with the simple beauty of a smile.

For Cristiano there was no going back from loving Leo.

If he lost Leo he would never love another again.

Cris shook his head furiously and swallowed his tears away. He took Leo into his arms and held him tightly to his chest. Leo didn't struggle, a sign that encouraged him a little.  ''No you don't get to walk out on me. What we have is real and I refuse to give it up,''

Leo huffed against his chest, a tear landing on Cris' thick, woolen, winter tunic. ''Don't you think I know that it's real? Which is exactly _why_ we must do this. For both our sakes,''

Cris shook his head, raised Leo's face up so that their eyes met and forced his Briton to look straight into his soul.

He used his superior body strength to hold Leo in place. And still, Leo's eyes darted off to elude his gaze.

Something broke inside of Cristiano and his anger took ahold of him, luring him over to the darkness that lingered in his chest.

Darkness that usually could only be held at bay by Leo and the love he gave him.

''Look at me! Damn you Leo!'' he shouted and finally, Leo cooperated and met his eyes. ''It's _too_ _late_ to go backward. You're under my skin and I'm under yours.  
I refuse to let you do this. Don't think for one second that you're the only stubborn person around here. You love me and despite of your fears, you will never be able to take that back. I won't let you. _You're_ _mine,''_

Before Leo could retaliate Cris lunged forward and plastered their lips together.

It was a desperate kiss, filled with need, held back tears and depression.

And yet, it felt so right, to feel Leo's lips to his. Nothing had ever felt better.

Leo moaned soft, a sign of temporary surrender, and deepened the kiss hungrily, sucking passionately on each available part of Cris' lips that he could find.

Cris could hear his own heart hammering in his ears and as he slid his fingers into Leo's hair he was rewarded with an intense, pure groan of desire.

Leo's tongue traced his lower lip, begging for entrance and Cris could never deny Leo anything, not even after his painful words, so he let him in and their tongues collided into a messy heap of emotions which left the both of them out of breath.

Leo's hands had found their way under Cris' tunic and caressed the supple skin of his lower back eagerly, fingertips trailing his powerful muscles.

His hands made their way to Cris' taut stomach and lingered there. Leo adored Cris' body and today Cris had no problem exploiting that weakness.

He needed to persuade Leo from ending their relationship. He had to.  
For there was no choice when it came to loving Leo, not for Cristiano.

He hated to love him on days like these, but in the end, Leo was _worth_  all the trouble he put him through.

Leo was a part of him. For better or for worse.

Leo broke the kiss reluctantly and rested his forehead against Cris' chest. ''We should head back, it's nearly dark,'' he panted, a hint of regret in his voice.

Cris saw that he was correct, it was long after sundown and the vast darkness crept through the woods, making them vulnerable to animals and nightly attacks by rogue warriors or other brigands.

Maeve was standing nearby, quiet and calm like a statue. Suddenly she growled at something. ''What's the matter Maeve?'' Cris asked as the wolf bared her teeth. ''What do you see?''

Maeve barked urgently in response. ''We really should head back,'' Leo repeated nervously.

''Don't worry, she barks at everything lately. Could be a squirrel or a rabbit,'' Cris assured him as he wrapped his hand around the bucket's rope and lifted it upward.

''Still, we should go back. Our brothers will be worried,'' Leo lifted the other bucket and walked with a quick pace back to the encampment.

As they crossed the distance Cris couldn't help but to ask the question he'd been dreading so immensely. ''So are we all right?''

Leo sighed annoyed and froze in his steps. ''Can we talk about that later please, I can feel numerous eyes on us,'' he whispered.

Cris' heart leaped into his stomach. ''What?! Who's watching us?''

''Shhh! I don't know, but I can feel someone staring at us. There are many of them and they've got us surrounded. I hear them lingering in the trees. We need to pick up the pace. Don't let them know we're onto them,'' Leo said in Latin to throw off the spying eyes, which probably only understood Gaelic.

Leo's small hand was clenched around the hilt of his dagger and Cris did the same with his Gladius sword.

With their left hands their continued to carry their buckets of water but due to the nerves they spilled some of the content. As they reached the camp they put the buckets down and signaled their brothers that they were under attack.

Suddenly Bran's insistence on teaching them military signs didn't seem so annoying any longer.

Bran and Otter nodded tight, though it was barely visible, and reached for their weapons.

Otter had reached behind his back to clasp onto his pair of double axes that were on his back at all times and they saw Bran reaching for the hilt of uncle Aquila's long sword, as he slipped his own axe in the belt of his breeches.

Leo reached for the bow and arrow that were lying nearby and held them tight.

The air grew tensed as Bran signaled them that there was a group of ten men watching them.

The wolves were on edge as well, all three of them growling into the darkness as the fog rolled silently in from the hills, blinding all of them slightly. The silence had never felt so suffocating to Cristiano.

The foresight of an upcoming battle from which there was no escape seemed to strangle itself around his neck like an iron fist. The anticipation of it was the worst.

Not knowing when you were about to be attacked was dreadful, the only thing he knew was that there was no way out. And that they were terribly outnumbered.   

The horses were nervously shifting from left to right, sensing the imminent threat that lured at them like a hungry beast at its prey.

Only Moire seemed to be anxious to fight whoever was coming at them with the same eagerness as she had shown when Cris had seen her attacking the wolves, so many months ago.

Cris saw Leo staring at her and the look in his eyes told him everything he needed to know. ''Don't you _dare_ , it's too dangerous. If they have bows and arrows they'll shoot you off her back in a split second,'' Cris hissed intently, but Leo merely smiled at him and mouthed something incoherent at him.

Cris thought he was saying that he loved him, but that was probably him reading what he wanted to read.  
Leo slipped away from Cris before he could grab his arm and snuck to Moire.

''Leo, goddamn you,'' Cris snapped, as terrified tears bubbled up in his eyes. This was _completely_ insane.

They were four against ten men who clearly knew their terrain, who were trained killers and used the fog to their advantage.

And here was the foolish, ferocious boy that he loved so much, sacrificing himself by climbing onto his horse in order to save them. Maeve followed Leo loyally and stood besides Moire, baring her teeth, ready to defend her master until death.

Leo's fingers were tightly curled around the reins but he wasn't wearing a saddle. Not that he needed it, Cris knew he could ride without one as well as with one. 

Bran was fiercely gesturing at Leo now too, clearly showing him that he was being ridiculous but Leo ignored him.

He stared into the gray vastness of the fog and waited silently for the men to attack.

Otter had shifted closer to Cris and nudged against his side with his arm, a sign of comfort. That everything would be all right as long as he stayed close to him.  
Cris believed his brother immediately. He knew they should be fine if they stuck together.

Otter and Bran were two of the best warriors he had ever seen.

Besides, Cris wasn't bad in a battle either. The only problem was his damned leg. That still ached from time to time and he still had a slight limb, despite his efforts to conceal it.

He could still do a brief sprint but longer runs were literally impossible for him. Still, he was a great swordsman and Bran had taught him to fight in the dark.

But now that it came to it, the dark felt blinding to him. He couldn't see much, probably because his nerves were paralyzing him.  

It was mostly Leo who he was worried about. What if he died?

Cris would never be able to forgive himself if he got Leo killed.

It would be all his fault, he was the one who had insisted on retrieving his father's honor.

A gripping fear took ahold of his heart as he stared at Leo who was proudly seated on his warhorse, eyes fierce and protective. His bow drawn tight in his arms as he searched for targets.

He had never looked more beautiful or more dangerous.

Cristiano had never loved him more than he had in that moment.

He was _not_ going to lose Leo today, not if he could help it. He made a quick prayer to Mithras to keep them safe, promising to sacrifice four pigeons to him if he obliged and he sealed the prayer with a bit of blood from his hand.

The sound of an arrow gushed through the air and Cris saw Leo ducking down just in time. His heart stopped as the contagious panic gnawed at his chest. 

Moire stood there frozen like a statue. She was calm as the footsteps of death.

The arrow had missed its target by a few inches. Thankfully.

The warriors attacked immediately afterward and arose from the mist.

Most of them were dressed in light armor, wearing no breastplates or shoulder pads. Their long dark hairs were dancing freely onto the wind. 

Their faces and bare arms were painted with blue war paint in the form of stripes and other tribal markings.  

The meaning of them escaped Cristiano but he was certain that the others knew what they meant.

Cris saw that they were clothed vulnerably and knew they had to press their advantage there.

One of the warriors came at him carrying a heavy axe but before he had reached Cris he'd been hit with one of Leo's arrows, piercing the man's heart, killing him instantly.

Bran was to his left, hacking one of the other men's head clean off with his giant axe, blood gushing out of the man's neck, spraying all over Bran's face.

He wiped it off with his sleeve and found himself a new opponent, which he dueled with briefly before the mist took them, clouding Cris' vision. He could still hear them though.

The sound of metal meeting metal filled his ears.

A part of him was highly concerned for Bran's safety but he also knew that their leader could take care of himself. Only a _fool_ would come at Bran when he was carrying his weapons.

Otter was entranced into a duel with an older man who was carrying two axes just like him but before Cris could help him a man came at him from the right. He was armed with one sword and an axe.

Cristiano only had his Gladius, but Bran had trained him to fight men carrying two weapons.

He heard one of the wolves howling nearby and Conor appeared from the mist, biting down on his attackers ankle, making the man lose his balance.

Cristiano took advantage of it and knocked the sword out of his hand. ''Conor, loose! Down!'' he yelled when the man reached for a dagger in his boot, aiming for their wolf.

Conor didn't obey him, which was odd seeing how he was usually the most obedient one, and only bit down harder.

The man was so focused on the wolf at his leg that he seemed to have forgotten about Cris, who used the time to plunge his sword into the man's chest before he could stab Conor.

But it had been really close. Too close. 

The man groaned deep and fell to his side into the dirt, clinging onto his bleeding chest.

Cris pulled his sword out of the breastbone and slid the blade across his neck, giving him a quick death. Any man that could still hold a weapon was dangerous.  
He heard Moire's hooves circling around them and the sound of arrows fired followed in pursuit.

Cris couldn't see much.

The whole camp was a mess of shouting men, weapons clinging together and the noise of upset animals.

Otter was still dueling the man with the two axes, but both of them had only one axe left.

The tall Briton avoided an outburst, leaned leniently downward and stuck the man with his axe in the free, unprotected space at his side, opening his skin with a loud, gladiator like brawl that gave Cris goosebumps. 

Rivers of blood poured out of his waist as the man started begging Otter for something in Gaelic that Cris couldn't fully comprehend.

He did however understood that the man was asking for the mercy of a quick death. That sentence transcended each language.

Otter, being a merciful man, obliged and put him out of his misery by cutting his throat. The man had fought well and had kept Cris' brother busy for a long time, therefore he deserved a clean death. 

As the fog cleared a bit, the sounds of battle intensified even further. Cris had quickly realized that Bran had been wrong when he had said they were being attacked by ten men.

There must have been at least fourteen of them attacking their camp.

Arrows were flying everywhere and Cris found himself constantly forced to duck for cover. He figured that their bowmen were hidden somewhere in the trees, but due to the darkness he couldn't see them.

Bran had told him that rogue warriors often used young boys to be their archers for them.  
An arrow landed eerily close to Cris' head, burying itself deep into the moss.

And then he heard it.

A scream that went through his system and found its way into his heart.

Leo's terrified voice darted through the air and Cris heard a body falling onto the ground.

He couldn't see Leo but he knew in his heart that he was in trouble, he could feel his distress.

It forced him to move.

He rose to his feet and ran across the camp, shouting Leo's name carelessly. The ache in his leg was slowing him down but he refused to budge.

Cris knew he was being stupid.

He had broken rule number one: never let your emotions get involved during a fight. That will get you killed.

Bran had taught him that lesson many months ago. But the sound of Leo possibly dying on him took ahold of him, made him move automatically.  
His feet were carrying him as if they had a mind of their own.

Before he knew it he saw Leo lying on the dirt, a man standing above him with his sword raised. Leo was unconscious.

He'd probably got pushed off Moire's back. 

Cris was no longer thinking rationally. Hell, he wasn't even certain if he was still breathing at all. All he knew was that he was burying his sword into the man's back and twisted it around furiously.

''You _don't_ touch him!'' he panted at the dying man.

The light sound of an arrow filled his ears but before he could duck down he was being pulled down by Bran. ''Cris get down!''

The arrow met a mark. Just not the mark it had aimed for.

When Cristiano looked up he saw that Bran had saved his life. He had shielded his body with his right arm, where the arrow had buried itself deep into the flesh of his bicep.

''Oh no, gods no! _Otter_ I need help!'' Cris shouted, as his eyes desperately searched for his brother. Why wasn't his brother responding to his call? Was he dead? He could not be dead. Gods he could not be killed. 

Bran gritted through his teeth and shrugged at him. ''Don't be stupid, I'm fine. It's nothing,'' he pulled the arrow from his arm in one supple movement, not even flinching when it left his flesh.

The tip of the arrow however didn't reveal itself. ''You _silly_ Briton! You broke the arrow. The tip is still in your arm!'' Cris chided, rolling his eyes at his impatience.

''Apologies, your highness, I was only trying to save your ass,'' Bran spat out.

He took Leo's bow and arrows from him and went hunting for the remaining archers and begun to shoot them from the trees. How he could even see them was a mystery to Cris, who saw nothing moving, but the heavy thuds that landed on the ground told him that he was meeting his targets.

Otter emerged from the mist, relieving Cris immensely with his unharmed presence. Blood was dripping from his massive hands. 

He was still fighting the final two men at the same time. There were no signs of exhaustion on his face. 

Merely excitement. As if he had been dying for a good fight.  
He fought with a ferocity that would scare anyone, and yet he moved elegantly for a man of his stature.

He moved quick like water and was an expert in eluding a strike.

Cris could see the Roman training their father had given him in his brother for he fought mostly like a Roman: controlled, systematic and calculating. And yet another part of him fought like Bran and Leo did.

Fierce, unpredictable and using the terrain to their advantage. It was the combination between the two worlds that made Otter into such a great warrior.  
Otter hacked his last man down with his dagger which finally ended the battle.

''Clear!'' he shouted triumphantly. Bran stared at him and nodded with a grin. It seemed like a small gesture but Cris could see the relief in Bran's eyes when he saw that his partner was unharmed. His eyes were shining.

Otter walked toward Cris and took him into his arms, holding him so tight Cris felt his ribs being crushed. ''Are you all right little brother?'' Otter asked.

Cris nodded into his neck. ''Fine, thanks to you three,''

Otter kissed his forehead and placed his fingers to their father's eagle necklace. ''He still watches over us,''

Cris felt a lump form in his throat and nodded, he hadn't expected him to say something like that.   

As the fog cleared further, Cris got a sight of the massacre that formed itself in their camp.

There were corpses everywhere, some mutilated brutally with limbs and heads missing, others killed more civilized. The cubs were standing close by, the three of them seemingly unharmed.

Bran's beak was covered in blood, Maeve was limping a bit and Conor had a bloody ear wound.

This had been their first real taste of combat and they apparently held their own pretty well.

A quick gaze at the horses told him that three of them that were tight up were also unharmed.

Moire was standing over Leo's unconscious body, her face plastered against his as she rubbed him gently. Urging him to wake up.

There was blood smeared across her flank and one arrow stuck out of her back, another in her left back leg.

Cris walked toward her, humming Isbeil's nursery rhyme to calm the spooked horse and stuck his hand out to her. ''Come here darling, it's going to be all right. He'll wake up, I promise,''

Moire did what he said and extended her head out to Cris, who stroked her gentle.

Otter had made his way to Bran, dropping his weapons onto the dirt and embraced him tight, too emotional to speak. ''Is Leo all right?'' Bran demanded to know as he pulled back from his partners arms.

Cris placed two fingers in Leo's neck and felt the steady pulse thumping against his fingertips.

A huge breath of air escaped his lungs. ''Yes, he's breathing,''

Somehow he'd known that Leo was all right before he had even checked the pulse. If Leo had been dead, he would have felt it in his heart.

''Leo wake up love, come on,'' he murmured as he tugged Leo's upper body onto his lap. He kissed his cheeks and stroked Leo's hair before landing a kiss to the soft strains.

Raised voices erupted from behind him. 

''Why didn't you tell me that you're injured!!!'' Otter chided when he found Bran's wound. ''Oh shut up, it's nothing serious! Just a scratch!''

''You idiot! You pulled the arrow out _yourself_ didn't you?''

Bran smirked arrogantly. ''So what if I did?''

''It broke off you moron! Now I have to get in there to get it. You should have waited for me to pull it out! Better pray that I can get it otherwise you can lose the arm,'' Otter hissed.

''Otter, you're starting to sound like my mother again,''  
''Gods I _hate_ you sometimes,''

''Of course you do,'' Bran grinned as his lips met Otter's and his arms folded around his body securely.

Cris meanwhile focused back to Leo's body and shook him from left to right to awake him. ''Come on now Leo, you big baby. Time to wake up,''

Leo grumbled something incoherent but finally slid his amber eyes open.

He stared at Cris for a moment, adoration and warmth radiating out of his eyes and reached up to cradle his cheek with his cold, bloody hand.

''Are you unharmed?'' Leo asked softly, as a wave of sheer concern washed over his beautiful face. ''I'm fine, what about you?'' Cris retorted.

''Still in one piece,'' Leo assured him firmly.

He pulled Cristiano down so that he could reach his lips and press his own to them. Everything silenced around them.

And just like that, Cris was home again.

Leo still loved him. Leo would _always_ love him.

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

_TBC......_

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Let me know what you think guys. 
> 
> I wanted Bran to save Cris, seeing how I thought it would be too predictable for Otter to do so, or for Bran to save Leo. I wanted to show how much the group cares for each other that Bran would die for Cris as well as the others if he had to. 
> 
> I hope the fight scenes were okay, I'm not too good at those. 
> 
> Thanks for your patience with me <3


	32. Hush little lion man.

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Otter tends to Bran's wounds.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Wow look at me, disappearing for two months and then making two chapters in a couple of days. I'm just glad I could keep my word when I promised another quick update. 
> 
> Hope you guys will like this. Thanks for all the continues support! I was glad to read that so many of my readers remained so loyal despite me vanishing. This story wouldn't exist without you guys. <3

_Otter_.

 

 

 

 

Not long after the battle the fog had finally cleared completely and the full moon had proudly displayed herself in the dark sky, illuming the encampment.

Leo had woken up a while ago and had a few bruises to his stomach but nothing serious. He was busy removing the arrows from Moire's flank, a delicate work, seeing how the horse was panicked and shivering with tension.

The wolves had started to clean the blood off each other.

Two of them seemed mostly unharmed but Maeve, the little girl of the pack, was limping with her left forepaw. Otter would take a look at it after he had tended to Bran. He just hoped she wouldn't bite his fingers off in her distress.

Bran was seated between Otter's legs, restless as ever after a fight.

His tunic and breeches were drenched with blood, that completed with his bloody face made him seem as lethal as the god of war.

''Gods your face is a fucking _mess_ , here let me clean the blood off it before you attract all sorts of predators with it and get us in even more trouble,'' Otter said to Bran, who's strong features were smeared with dark red blood.

It had been draped to his face so long that it was already drying up.

Otter placed a bucket of cool water besides them and dapped the cloth into it. ''I could do that myself you know, '' Bran pointed out, quite unnecessarily.

He knew precisely how much Otter enjoyed washing the blood off his face after a fight.

That he secretively ravished it to slide his fingers over the scarred skin of his face.

He always started at his forehead as he slowly made his way down to the scar that decorated his left eye, to the one that was on the right side of his lip.

Both of those had been the result of foul knife play and both times Bran had been fortunate to get away with a mere scratch.

Being able to wash his face always made him feel immensely grateful that Bran was still alive, that he was still able to feel the warm skin against his. He loved feeling the steady, thumbing heartbeat underneath his fingers.

He brought the cloth to Bran's forehead and pressed it to his skin, removing some rebellious hairs that had dared it to escape Bran's braid. ''Here let me restore your braid, it's a fucking disaster,'' Otter complained.

Bran only hummed in agreement and Otter removed the lint that was holding his partner's hair together and his hands quickly made a new, much tighter braid of the long, chestnut hair. Otter's hair was a tad shorter and he preferred a long ponytail to a braid.

But Bran always wore his hair like that, mostly for combat reasons.

Practically all male Brigantes with long hair had worn braids.

If they got ambushed down the road his long, thick hair could get in the way of his sight, therefore it was much safer to trap it into a tight, immovable braid onto his back.

It was better for his vision, which he needed during their fights.

Otter would never willingly admit it to Leo or Cris, because it would sound utterly ridiculous, but doing Bran's hair had always been one of his favorite chores.

Now that they were on the road, Bran usually did it himself, seeing how he knew that Otter wouldn't want to look too feminine when their brothers were around, too much like a typical eunuch, but they were preoccupied with tending to the animals now, giving Otter some space to indulge in his guilty pleasure.

After he had redone the braid he kissed the top of Bran's head gently. ''There, much better,'' he hummed contently.

He regained his work and slowly washed the blood off Bran's face, letting his fingers linger around to each available piece of skin he could find, caressing it lovingly.

When he was happy with the result he bit on his lip and stared at his partner's wounded arm. ''I'll have to get in there as quickly as possible to retrieve that arrow point,''

Bran tried to hide his fear by lashing out in annoyance. ''Well get on with it then!''

Otter placed a hand onto his neck, holding him tight. ''I'll be quick, I promise, let me get my tools,''

He walked to his saddle bag and retrieved his medical satchel from it.

As he sat back down he detected a shiver going over Bran's back. It could be the adrenaline from the fight but Otter knew that it were nerves for the procedure he had to perform.

''You'll be fine,'' Otter assured him, as he clasped a pair of tweezers in his hand, a flask filled with alcohol and some bandages by his side. He put their small surgical knife between his belt.

Bran growled something incoherent and Otter decided to get on with it. He sat down at Bran's side, wrapped his legs around his partner and let his arm rest onto his knee so that he had a clever angle.

He placed a torch besides them to improve the lighting.

As he tore Bran's ruined tunic off his strong arm the wound became visible. It was deeper than he had expected it to be, indicating that this wasn't going to be easily removed.

''Bran, could you _please_ sit still for once in your life? I'm doing delicate work here and we have no time to lose,'' Otter complained when his partner kept shifting from left to right, evading the tweezers.

He clenched his knees closer together, catching Bran like an animal that had fallen into a trap.

Despite his tough demeanor Bran had always been quite the complainer when it came to injuries and Otter performing small surgeries on him. It usually took him hours to get him stitched up due to all his exhausting bellyaching.

Bran moved again much to Otter's irritation.

He lost his temper a lot quicker than normal due to the stress of the evening. ''For the love of god, do I need to smack you?''

Bran chuckled amused, his smirk as disbelieving as always. ''You wouldn't dare,''

Otter lunged his fist across Bran's face, not too hard but the blow spooked his partner nonetheless, which was the result he had hoped to achieve. Sometimes the only message Bran truly understood was violence.

They could get quite rough with each other and had probably fought as frequently as they had been intimate.

Bran's lip was bleeding a little afterward.

Otter wiped the blood off it with a small cloth. ''There, I dared it. Did my hand fall from my wrist?'' Bran shook his head with a sly grin.

Otter took a deep breath, pleading for patience, ''Now stop moving and fretting like a child! We need to get this done as quickly as possible.  
All these dead men will definitely attract wild animals or worse; more rival clans. We are in no condition to take on another wave of warriors right now.  
The wolves need their rest to heal, as does Moire and you as well, to be honest,'' Bran opened his mouth to protest, ''And don't you _dare_  lie to me and tell me that you're fine! This fucking arrow has gone in real deep, I might not be able to get it no matter what I do,'' Otter chided.

Bran pursed his lips together furiously and exhaled deep, an unmistakable sign of his surrender.  
''Cris I need more light, bring me another torch and hold that close to his arm so I can get a better visual,'' Otter told his brother, who was busy calming the cubs.

Cristiano brought another torch and held it near Bran's arm, the flames of the fire warming the air around them in the cold night.

''Good, hold it there please,'' Otter ordered, as he lowered the tweezers and leaned in closer, clasping the bicep tighter into his large hand. He narrowed his eyes to get a better look at the wound.

The metal point had pierced itself deep into the muscle of Bran's arm, so deep that Otter was doubting if he could reach it without having to open the wound even further.

He knew that he had to try it though, Bran wouldn't forgive him for slicing into his flesh without trying to avoid that situation.

Slowly he slid the tweezers into the bloody wound, reaching deep down for the metal tip. Bran was wheezing and panting in his arms but Otter tried desperately to ignore it and to focus on his job. It had never been easy for him, to ignore his partner's pain.

He halted when his tweezers landed on something hard.

That must have been it, he hoped. ''All right, here we go,'' he said to Bran, who bit down on his lower lip.

Otter felt how badly his partner was shaking and he knew he had to get this over with as quick as he could.

But he also had to be thorough about it.

If the tip left any residue behind it could get infected and Bran could die.  
''Take a deep breath,'' Otter ordered and Bran inhaled deep, eyes watering slightly.

He shook his tears away quickly, not wanting Cris to see his weakness.

Otter clasped onto the tweezers a little tighter and started pulling the metal upward, but somehow the blasted tip refused to budge. It felt like it was caught on something, a piece of muscle or bone perhaps.

Bran was groaning in agony, biting on his lip to prevent himself from screaming out. Otter's hand stilled and his other reached for Bran's hand. He laced their fingers together and slowly stroked his partner's hand.

''Bran, I'm not certain that I can get it. It seems to be latched onto something tough and it won't move at all. I might have to make the wound larger to get in there properly and get the job done,''

He felt Bran's hand trembling under his and his partner shook his head instantly. ''No! Just leave it in there, people live with arrows in them all the time. It will be fine,''

''You don't know that, you have to let me treat you. Please,''

''No, do you know what we should do? Find some privacy,'' Bran grinned cheekily.

Otter felt a heated blush creep over his cheeks. ''Privacy? For what?'' Cris interjected. Bran laughed heartedly. ''Nothing like a good fuck after a fight boy, when the blood is still rushing in your ears and all your senses are heightened,''

Cris gave him a revolted gaze. ''Gods, should I be here for this? I don't even want to think about you two doing it,''

''What? Do you think we _never_ do it? Because we do have sex, in fact we're-''

Otter silenced his partner by laying a hand over his lips. ''All right, that's _enough_ out of you. Stop trying to distract me from my work and shut up. I'm going to make the wound a bit larger with my knife so that I can get in there better. And no you don't get a say in the matter,'' he interjected when Bran wanted to protest.

Bran moaned annoyed but nodded regardless. ''Fine, just get it over with quickly and I could use a drink,''  
''Yes so could I, but we're saving the liquor for disinfecting wounds-remember?''

''But I thought we were out of wine?'' Cristiano mumbled, clearly confused.

''We are, but we brought a proper _Gaelic_ drink. Not that grape water that you southerners consider to be a good drink,'' Bran explained with a nod to a flask lying nearby.

''Which we vowed to save only for injuries!'' Otter objected sternly.

''Oh come on, just give me one sip! You're about to slice me like a side of pork. I could _use_ a little sip,''  
''No we had an agreement to-''

''Give it to him,'' Cristiano interrupted. His voice was thick with emotion.

''Excuse me?'' Otter asked furiously. How dared Cris intervene with his business?

Arrangements he made with Bran were none of his concern.

He had no right to meddle in their affairs. Brotherhood be damned. Cris needed to understand the pecking order in their group.

It was vital for everyone's survival.

''Just give him one sip, what does it matter? He saved my life Otter, I would be lying there if it wasn't for him. I would probably be dead if he hadn't acted when he did,'' Cristiano said, giving Bran a grateful smile as he placed his hand onto his broad shoulder.

''Ah so that's what this is about. You feel guilty about getting him in trouble because you lost your head during the fight. Get over it. It's not about one sip Cris, we don't have much alcohol with us. Besides, Moire's wounds need to be treated with it as well and perhaps some of the cubs too.  
If I give him one sip now, he'll take at least five because he never listens and the next time we're attacked and injured we have nothing to disinfect our wounds with.  
We still have a long, treacherous way to go.  
We cannot afford to spill even one drop of the content in that flask.  
From now on when I tell to not do something I expect you to obey me immediately, it might save your life one day. Do you _understand_ me?'' Otter demanded as he forced Cris to look him in the eye by holding the side of his face between his hands.

Cris gave him a tiny nod but Otter saw the silent anger behind his chestnut eyes. ''Good,''

''Maybe some of the dead bodies brought liquor with them, we should search them,'' Bran suggested.

Otter released his brother and contemplated the idea. Bran had a good point, Gaelic warriors were bound to bring disinfectant with them on their nightly adventures.

''That's not a bad idea, Cris, why don't you search them while I get to work. Leave the torch as close to me as you can,''

Cris pursed his lips together defiantly. ''Don't pout, that hasn't worked on me since you were a little boy. You should know better. Now get going,'' Otter bristled.

He knew he was being too hard on his brother, but the previous battle had taught him one thing: Cris clearly wasn't ready for a fight yet.

He had let his emotions get in the way of his better judgement.

Cris loved Leo so much that he had broken rank and got himself and Bran in trouble.

His stupid actions had lead to Bran being shot on his behalf.

For Bran had promised Otter that he would protect Cristiano as if he were his own blood. Seeing how Otter had been busy fighting two men when it happened, Bran had been the one who had come to Cris' aid and saved his life.

Paying a heavy price for it. To Otter it had been hard to not get angry with Cris for his stupidity.

If he would lose Bran due to this he would probably never forgive Cristiano for it. A slightly softer side of his heart however told him that he shouldn't be so mad with his little brother.

He had only followed his heart and tried to save Leo's life.

Could he truly blame him for wanting to help the man he loved?

When Otter and Bran had been young, he had broken ranks once as well, neglecting everything Bran had taught him to save his life, nearly getting the both of them killed in the process.

So perhaps Otter was being too hard on Cris, but seeing his partner so mangled up broke something inside of his heart.

''You shouldn't be so rough on him, he only did what he thought was best,'' Bran said to him in Gaelic, reading his mind as usual.

Otter caressed his partner's cheek and kissed it lightly. ''I know, I'm merely trying to save him from himself. He's a risk and we all know it. His leg is a weakness, but his unpredictable heart is even more dangerous to us all,''

''He'll be fine, we will all be fine,'' Bran assured him.  
Otter rolled his eyes. ''Of course we will, I can't believe what an idiot you are sometimes,''

''Hmm and yet you still adore me,''  
''Yes and what does that say about _my_ level of intelligence?''

''That you're a lot smarter than you look,'' Bran teased mildly, as he nudged Otter's ribs, grinning deep.

Otter wrapped his arms around his partner and held him tight, sliding his fingers over Bran's scalp. ''I love you, now and forever. But if you dare to leave me alone in this world, I will follow to wherever you're going to kick your ass for it,''

''Then I wouldn't dare to leave you,'' Bran vowed.

He placed his lips to Otter's temple and let them rest there for a bit. ''Now go do your job,''

Maeve had limped her way to Bran and laid down besides him, lowering her head into his lap. ''Hello my sweet girl, are you all right?'' he asked, but the wolf whined in response. ''Yes, you're hurt aren't you? As am I. They really got us good didn't they?  
Now this big brute has to hurt me some more to help me. Will you stay here with me? To keep me safe?'' he pleaded as he stroked her soft fur.

Maeve licked his fingers in compliance and wheezed compassionately, telling him that she wouldn't be going anywhere.

''I think she felt your distress,'' Cristiano mumbled as he sat back down besides Bran. ''Maeve has always been the sweetest one we had,'' he handed four flasks of alcohol to Otter. ''I guess you can give him a drink now,'' he said with a nod to Bran.

''Good job Cris, this is really helpful. Thank you,'' Otter said as he placed his hand to Cris' shoulder. Cris' expression softened a bit and he placed his hand onto Otter's.

''It was no trouble, I also found some fresh bandages which I stored in the saddle bags,''

''Good, we brought our own but I have a feeling we are going to need those as we venture further north,'' Otter replied.

''You might be right there, now get me a drink,'' Bran decided to let them know that he was still there and still anxious to get his ordeal over with,

Otter gave one of the flasks to Bran, who opened it eagerly and took three large sips, as Otter had predicted he would.

Bran had never had any temperance. He just took whatever he wanted.

As he went in for his fourth sip, Otter snatched the flask out of his hands. ''Hey no more, I can't have you passing out or stone dead drunk. What if we get ambushed again and we cannot move you?''

''You're no fun,'' Bran complained, but a content flush spread through his cheeks, telling Otter that the drink had done its job and succeeded in calming his partner.

''All right, ready?'' he asked as he took the blade in his hand. Bran nodded tight. ''Ready,''

Cris had folded a cloth around a small stick and offered it to Bran. ''You might want to bite down on-''

 _''NO!''_ Otter and Bran lashed out in complete unison. Cris retracted his arm quickly and Maeve raised her head, clearly startled by all the racket.

''Sorry, but you can't offer that to him, nor to me if the situation were reversed. We are too bloody proud to bite down on anything. It bruises our ego, makes us look weak and inferior,'' Otter explained.

Bran nodded in compliance. ''What he said,''

Cris raised his eyes to the heavens as if he were praying for patience. ''By the gods, I thought Leo was stubborn but you two might be even worse,'' he said with a nod to Leo who was patching Moire up as good as he could.

He was on the other side of the camp so the insult escaped him. Which was probably for the best.

Bran responded with an amused grin. ''Might be worse? We're _definitely_ worse than Leo. Where do you think he learned to be this pig-headed?''

''From you I take it,'

''Definitely from me,'' Bran retorted.

''All right, sit still you or I'll smack you again,'' Otter commanded. Bran froze obediently in his arms and steadied himself.

Otter brought the small knife to the bicep, halted it at the edge of the wound, inhaled deep and started slicing it open as careful as he could. Bran was wheezing and groaning helplessly and Otter saw the tears forming in his eyes.

''I'm nearly done, stay with me now,'' he lied, knowing damn well that he wasn't even halfway through. He made the wound more horizontal on the left before moving the blade to the right as he repeated the movements.

''L-liar,'' Bran exasperated, looking so hopeless that it broke Otter's heart. He even contemplated the option to knock him out, making his job easier and ending Bran's suffering but he couldn't.

It was too dangerous. If they got attacked now he had to drag Bran onto a horse and sit behind him, therefore having no hands free to fight off assailants.  
''Please-knock- me-out,'' Bran groaned two seconds later. ''I can't, it's too risky,''

''O-otter...please...I beg you...'' Bran's voice broke and so did Otter's defense. Tears streamed down Bran's cheeks.

Otter's hand moved on his own. He brought his fist against the back of Bran's head and knocked him down as hard as he could. Bran went down instantly, Otter caught him in his arms just in time.

Leo, who had seen his brother go down like a sack of potatoes, ran over to check on him. ''What the hell did you do to him?''

''He asked me to knock him out, I didn't want to oblige, but he left me no choice,'' Otter explained.

Leo folded his arms around Bran's large one and held it tight. ''Can I do anything?''

''Yes you can pray to your gods that we won't get attacked again,'' Otter said dryly.

Leo nodded curt. ''Done,''  
''Good, can you shut up for me now. I have to focus,''

Otter spend the next couple of hours trying to remove the metal from Bran's arm but without success.

The tip had dug down into a piece of bone, it seemed and was as unyielding as Bran could be during a stubborn streak.

Finally when dawn was lingering on the horizon, Otter had to admit defeat and gave up.

He disinfected and stitched the wound as best as he could and felt the sunlight prickle in his exhausted eyes.

Succumbed to a defeated silence he washed Bran's blood off his hands. He couldn't help but feel like a failure. Bran had counted on him to fix him but instead he had let him down.

He sat down at Bran's body and took his left hand into his own, stroking it slight. Bran's eyes opened hazily and he stared expectantly at him. ''Did you get it?''  
Otter felt a lump form in his throat and shook his head slowly.

Bran offered him a tiny smile. ''No matter, you did the best you could,''  
''I'm sorry,'' Otter choked out.

''Don't be, I'm not. I'll be just fine, you'll see,''

Otter leaned in and kissed his lips deep and passionate. ''Yes you will be,''

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

TBC.....

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I don't know what it is about Otter but writing him is one of my favorite things to do. I love him so much. 
> 
> I hope you guys feel the same about him. <3


	33. The worst things in life come free to us.

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Bran's arm has developed an infection.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So this is a bit shorter than I had anticipated but I want to get a move on this journey. So I'll be speeding some of the timelines up a bit. 
> 
> There is no blood or gore in this chapter. 
> 
> I'm sorry for being away for a while, but I had zero inspiration and I've been very busy.
> 
> Wow this story is almost a year old! I want to thank all of you for reading this and for your continuous support.  
> I couldn't write this without it. You guys are the best readers. <3

_Bran_.

 

 

 

 

Three days after the attack Bran felt as if his arm was slowly trying to kill him.

Living with the daily pain that increased each minute had been complete _torture_.

He had tried his best to stay as stoic and careless about it as he possibly could, but he knew that Otter saw and felt the little flinches of pain that were displayed all over his face whenever he had to pull Adair's reins toward him, or whenever he used the arm in any way.

At night when they had made camp, Otter had prepared supper but he barely had strength to eat or hold his ladle without spilling the content due to his shivering.

Otter had made broth and had forced Bran to eat but after each dinner when everyone went to sleep, he hurried to the bushes to throw up.

Somehow he knew that Otter knew about that, but luckily he didn't say a word.

Despite his silence, he saw Otter's concern in his deep blue eyes whenever he changed his bandages and deep down he knew that the news wasn't good.

His wound had gotten infected despite of Otter's hard work to keep it clean.

He had done a great job with the stitches and yet the infection had set in and refused to fade away.

Puss and oozing had formed around the stitches but Otter had done an excellent job in keeping that information to themselves.

Their little brothers had no clue as to what was going on and they preferred it like that.

But at the moment a persistent fever was creeping along his spine creating small beads of sweat that dripped over his forehead down to his cheeks. Staying on top of Adair's back was getting more difficult with each minute that they were on the road.

Shivers went over his back. Leo, who was riding beside him on Moire's back, deduced one with his keen eyes. ''You're shaking brother, perhaps we should stop for today,''

Bran gave his brother a stubborn expression. ''Don't be _daft_ Leo, it's not even dark yet. W-we still have plenty of ground to cover today,'' gods how he _hated_  his voice breaking in the middle of a sentence.

There was no chance that Leo hadn't detected that either. He was a trained observer.

''You're quite ill Bran, you _need_ some rest,'' Leo persisted.  
''Stop being ridiculous little one, I'm fine,''

''Of course you are,'' Leo mocked as he rolled his eyes, ''you're always fine. Otter, will you please tell him that he needs to get off his horse before he falls off?''  
Bran expectantly stared back at his partner, curious to see whether he would take his side or not.

Otter should know better than to take Leo's side in an argument.

He should stay loyal to him if he ever hoped to get laid again.

And yet, Otter's eyes told another story.

He was going to side with Leo. That _fucking_ bastard.

''He's right Bran, you do need to rest. You're bleeding through your stitches again,'' he pointed out with a gaze at Bran's arm. Otter was right, dark blood had stained his beige sleeve once again.

''Gods can you three please stop fretting about me, I'm fine. Just fine,''  
''You're not. You have a fever and you've been hiding your pain for days now,'' Otter chided as he shook his head disbelieving.

''He's right, don't think we haven't noticed that, we're not as ignorant as you hope we are,'' Cristiano chimed in, who rode behind them.

Guilt and compassion were radiating from his chestnut colored eyes and Bran quickly avoided his gaze.

He had grown quite annoyed with Cristiano's constant need to compensate him for the fact that he saved his life and got him shot.

He regretted nothing about his decision to save Cristiano's life. He would do it again today if the situation repeated itself.

For Leo. Because Leo couldn't live without Cris any longer.

But Cristiano's behavior truly got on his nerves these days. Bran had always hated it to be pitied. Now there were three sets of eyes constantly ogling him, measuring him constantly.

Not to mention the wolf pups who minded him carefully, never once leaving his side.  
As if they felt his pain. The horses seemed restless as well.

Bran got around the clock questions from the other men; if he needed anything to make his life more comfortable, more endurable. Was he certain he didn't need to eat some more broth? Did he need an extra cloak for the cold nights?

Bran knew that they only meant well, but their constant need to fret made him feel extremely inferior and weak.

He didn't do weak.

He was the eldest son of Cunoval, chieftain of the proud Brigantes Clan. Wincing about his arm didn't do anybody any good.

He would keep his head high and his features _composed_ as his father had taught him.

Some of his Clan believed him to be the son of the war god himself. It would be a terrible shame to rob them of that illusion. Especially Leo, who as a child, had always believed that theory.

He'd always been gullible like that.

Leo, who saw his brother as this invincible being that he looked up to, who protected him against all harm.

Bran was born to be their leader, the one who was responsible for everyone's safety and well being. He could not falter now. He _had_ to be strong.

But the fever was coursing through his body mercilessly, dulling his senses and slowly draining the life out of him.

''I never said you were ignorant,'' Bran mumbled, as he felt dizziness circling around his head like a hawk looking for a prey.  
''You didn't have to,'' Cris retorted dryly.

 _''Brandon_  you need to stop! You're going to fall off your horse,'' Otter said strictly.

Bran, to his own surprise obeyed him instantly, probably due to the fact that Otter had used his full name, he only did that when he was in trouble.

He halted Adair and Otter slipped off his horse's back quickly and rushed over to help him from his horse. A good thing too, for Bran was seeing black spots creep up behind his eyes. He was definitely going to pass out.

Otter's strong arms laid him down into the oceans of grass. ''Get me some cloaks and get a fire going! I need warm water,'' he ordered.  
Leo and Cris disembarked from their horses and got to work hastily.

Otter held Bran's hand and forced him to keep talking to him, about everything and nothing, just to keep him conscious. ''Otter,'' Bran murmured and his partner clasped his hand tighter in his, kissing it briefly. ''Yes Bran?''

''Please don't cut it off, I _need_ my arm,'' Bran knew that it wasn't fair to demand this of Otter, seeing how the infection would most likely spread to his organs and kill him if Otter didn't amputate, but he couldn't bear it to lose his arm.

For without it he would be much weaker in the conflicts they would encounter along the road.

He needed his arm to keep the group as strong as possible.

A miserable tear formed in Otter's eye and Bran reached up to wipe it from his cheek. ''I can't make that promise as you very well know. I might not have a choice. The infection is spreading rapidly, I have to kill it while I still have the power to do so. Before it kills you.  
I don't want to do this, but this isn't a choice _love_. This is now a matter between life or death. If I don't amputate you will die.  
And I won't survive that. So I'm going to do whatever it takes to save your life.  
My only regret is that I didn't amputate it two days ago, I might be too late now.  
The infection might still kill you even after I've removed your arm. You could die of blood loss. It might be too much for your immune system to handle.  
We should have done this earlier. Fucking hell, thanks to my own stupidity you might end up in a fucking grave. I shouldn't have let you convince me to leave it be. I'm _so_ _sorry_ Bran,'' Otter choked out, tears shining in his sea blue eyes.

Bran stroked his hand and shook his head stubbornly. ''No. None of this is your fault. Don't say such wretched things. But I'm _not_ going to die, I promise you that. This is not the day that I will lower myself into the darkness. I shall live, because of you. For you. Now, kiss me quickly before I pass out,''

Two pair of smaller hands rested on his legs and and the cubs placed themselves at his sides, watching him sharply.

Otter leaned in and pressed his lips against Bran's. It wasn't a deep kiss or a particularly passionate one but somehow Bran knew that if he survived this, that he would remember this kiss until the day he died.

For it was as desperate as it was beautiful and loving. It felt like a farewell and a beginning all in one.

When Otter broke the kiss he placed his lips to Bran's burning forehead and rested them there.

Cris and Leo moved in closer and pecked his cheeks. ''Come back to us brother,'' Leo begged.

''I will,'' Bran promised. It was the last thing he remembered before he blacked out.

He didn't tell Otter to take care of their brothers if anything happened to him, there was no need for that. If he would die, Otter would defend them with his life. 

After he passed out there was only darkness.

It was as if he was floating through the night sky, caressed by the stars as if he were one of their own.

Life was quite lonely in the darkness and yet somehow it felt comforting. The emptiness of it all seemed to _soothe_ him.

He wondered if he was dead or merely in between dreaming and being awake.

Would he ever return to Otter, Leo and Cris? Or was he lost forever, doomed to spend eternity alone.

Perhaps this was his punishment for all the innocent men he had killed in his lifetime. For all the endless mistakes he had made.

Sometimes he saw faces of his dead family members coming toward him.

His mother mostly, her kind, strong features embracing him tight, telling him that everything would be all right.

The strange thing was that Bran, during his life, had completely forgotten what his mother's face looked like. But now, in the void, he saw her plain as day.

Her braided hair was the same shade as most of the Cunoval children had.

A deep brown that had shades of auburn in it whenever the sun shone.

Her eyes were the exact same shape and color as Isbeil's were.

Her lips were full and her smile was so warm, so loving and tender that it made Bran feel like a small boy once again. He had _missed_ her so much.

She used to sit down with him at their favorite old oak tree and discuss their day and now that Bran saw her again, she led him with her slender hands back to that same tree and repeated the ritual he had missed so much.

And she sang to him. A gesture he had also forgotten about and only now realized that he had missed. He had missed hearing her light, warm voice. 

Other days it was Conor who came to haunt him and Bran would apologize over and over for getting his little brother killed. Conor told him not to worry about it, he had gladly given his life to save his brother.

Other times it was his father who visited him.

Those visions were a lot less pleasant than the ones from his other relatives.

''So weak, such an utter disappointment,'' his father kept repeating until Bran saw no other option but to cover his ears with his hands, begging him to go away.

Bran lingered there, surrounded by the stars for what seemed to be an eternity, losing all sense of time and being. Did he even exist anymore? Or had he faded away from the world of the living?

Otter's voice came from very far away, calling out to him. Bran's heart leaped up and he searched around for his partner but couldn't find him. He started shouting his name, as he wandered around through the dark.

Bran stretched his hand out, begging Otter to come and find him, tears streaming over his cheeks. ''Bran! Come back to us!'' the voice said.  
''Open your eyes,'' Leo's voice.

Bran focused all his energy on finding the light, but he saw nothing. Only darkness surrounded him still.  
Suddenly to his left a small stream of light pecked through the veil.

A way out. Bran ran toward it as quickly as his legs could carry him and reached for it.

He felt as if he was falling into a deep ocean rapidly. The waves were swallowing him whole.

The world was spinning around him. With a shock he opened his eyes and saw three pair of eyes staring concerned at him.

''Thank the gods, he's back!'' Otter exclaimed as he tugged Bran upward carefully and cradled him into his arms. Bran didn't feel anything, couldn't register anything logical. He had never felt more confused in all his life.

''Mmm where am I?'' he groaned. Cris and Leo's hands stroked over his back and he heard their stifled sobs echoing in his ears.

Why were they so upset? He was _alive_ wasn't he? Apparently he hadn't died as he had expected.

''You've been unconscious for nearly two days Bran, your heart stopped twice after the-procedure,'' Otter said, swallowing hard.

''Procedure?'' Bran repeated. It wasn't until now that he had become aware of the fact that his arm was no longer present.

Otter had cut it off a bit under the shoulder. Bran blinked twice and felt a shock course through his system.

He had counted on this to happen and still, it was a startling discovery. To actually miss a limb.

He was now a cripple like his brother Conor had been.  
Only instead of losing a leg, Bran had lost his left arm.

''Why did you cut off so much of it?'' Bran asked, feeling aggravated with his partner that he hadn't obeyed his wishes to leave it on. He pulled back from the embrace and slid his fingers over his shoulder.

As he came to his senses quicker than he would have liked, the pain came with it, nearly blacking him out again. God it hurt much more than he had anticipated.

Otter's face turned ashen and his features hardened. ''I had no choice. The infection was spreading to your shoulder. It had turned the skin black. I had to remove more than I originally wanted to. You're lucky to be alive.  
Your heart _stopped_ twice, once two days ago and the second time a few minutes before you awoke. I almost lost you the second time. It took me half an hour to get you back. Don't you ever dare scare me like that again, do you hear me!''

His voice was so rough, so raw with emotion but Bran heard the pleading shiver in his voice. He could imagine the crippling fear that Otter must have felt when he had nearly died two times.

When he couldn't get him to awaken. He reached up and touched Otter's unshaven cheek with his fingers. ''I hear you,'' he grinned.  
Otter smiled brief and leaned in to kiss him properly.

Gods it was insane how badly he wanted to be furious with Otter for hacking his arm off like a side of pork.

He wanted to resent him for it, be irrationally mad at him and ignore him for weeks, but when Otter kissed him like that, all Bran truly felt was utterly relieved.

Grateful that he was still alive. That he could still hold his lover in his arms and kiss him whenever it pleased him. Grateful that he still existed.  

When their lips parted, Bran exhaled deep and kissed Otter's neck. ''Thank you, for saving my life,''

Otter winked. ''Always,''

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So what did you think about it? 
> 
> Bran will go through life without his arm now. I actually wanted to kill his character off, but I changed my mind at the last minute. I couldn't imagine Otter going on without Bran. 
> 
> Hope you liked it! <3


	34. Round and round we go.

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> The camp tries to deal with Bran losing his arm. It's especially hard on Leo who has now become the only adult in the group.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So I'm back with another chapter. I started writing this during the week but due to work I was too tired to finish it. 
> 
> I hope you guys like it.

_Leo_.

 

 

 

It was now three days after Bran had finally woken from his surgery and his mood was not exactly improving.

Learning to live with one arm proved to be difficult to Leo's brother.

Not that Leo had expected it to be easy for him.

Bran had a hard time adapting to his new limitations and his changed life. There were just some things that proved to be _impossible_ for him now.

His arm was bandaged up tightly but still bled from time to time and Otter cleaned the wound twice a day. His fever had broken completely though and he was feeling a bit better.

But simple movements were now a grave challenge for Bran.  
Something as everyday as holding Adair's reins was now no longer an option.

He was forced to place them in his right hand, tying them together for he couldn't hold one in each hand any longer. Luckily, he and Adair shared a deep and meaningful bond that allowed him to send him wherever he wanted to go with a simple tug on the reins.

Adair knew what he wanted before he had told him what it was.  
But climbing on top of Adair's back was also a hindrance.

He could place his right hand on top of his back but lacked the stamina to haul himself up with only one arm. Otter was forced to help him by functioning as a step, giving him a nudge so he could sit properly.

All of this was a nuisance to Bran who gritted his teeth every time they had to help him with something small, much to everyone's annoyance.

He moaned and bitched to everyone who dared to stick their nose in his business, who dared to belittle him.

Bran had even scolded the wolves for licking his hand to soothe him.

He had lashed out to them, knocking his namesake on the head with his fist, making the cub yelp in agony. The punch wasn't too hard, but it was enough to make the cub lose faith in him for a while.

Little Bran had cringed, staring betrayed at Bran as if he waited for an apology that would never come.

When he realized he was wasting his breath he had retreated for the night, tail between his paws, accompanied by his brother and sister who seemed rather afraid of Bran due to his unexpected anger.

They had waddled to Cris and Leo and slumped down at their feet, curled up together into a ball of betrayed, scared fur. Leo had extended his hand out to them and caressed their hide slowly, attempting to calm them and after a little while, succeeding with it.

Leo desperately wanted to chide his brother for lashing out to the cubs but he knew that it wasn't _his_ place to do so. It was Otter's.

But the big, sturdy man had remained uncharacteristically silent, pursed his lips together and swallowed his comment. Cris conceded a defeated gaze that he shared with Leo and took Leo's hand in his own. The fingers were shaking uncontrollably.

Leo knew that Cris had nearly as much trouble adjusting to Bran losing his arm as Bran himself.

The guilt of getting him shot still gnawed at his Roman. At night, Cris slept a few meters away from Leo and he often found himself missing his lover's warmth and comfort.  

Leo himself was struggling with the fact that his last remaining brother had nearly died on him. When Otter had preformed the surgery he had helped to hold Bran's body down and the experience had been rather traumatic to him. There had been so much blood.

Otter had done his job quite neat, yet quick, using the sharpest blade he had to cut through the flesh only to halt at the bone.

He had used his short axe for that part. Leo still felt his brother's body shiver under his hands when Otter cut through the bone like he was a side of pork at a butcher shop.

Cristiano, who had been seated on the other side of Bran's body, holding him tight, had thrown up due to the brutality of the operation. After Otter was through, he cleaned the wound and stitched the flesh with an almost surgical precision.   

Watching his brother hovering on the border between life or death had been horrifying to Leo.

Leo had not slept at all after the procedure.

He had watched over Bran cautiously, day and night, wiping the sweat of his forehead, trying to urge him to awake. Otter had helped him as well, a concern that Leo had never seen before displayed in his blue eyes. He was absolutely terrified of losing Bran.

Cris had tried to stay awake as well, but during the second night, exhaustion took him and he slept like a child.

When Bran had finally opened his eyes again, a weight that had been pressed to his chest for three days, was finally lifted. His brother was alive and was not going anywhere for now.

He had lived to fight another day. But nearly losing him had put another scar on Leo's soul.   

Their group dynamics were such a mess these days that Leo often felt like he was the eldest one in the group instead of the youngest.

Like it had suddenly became _his_ duty, to keep everyone together, to keep it all balanced and safe.

How in the world had that happened? How was he of all people, now the most stable one of the four of them? It seemed nearly too laughable to be true.

Leo was hardly an example of good mental health.

Despite Bran assuring Otter that he had understood why he had removed his arm and saying that he didn't blame him, Leo felt that his brother's words were lies. He _did_ blame Otter for leaving him with only one arm.

Even if he didn't want to.

It was clear when you studied the little gestures between the two of them closely.

They no longer touched each other if it was not absolutely needed, they sniped at one another and they seemed to argue over everything even more than usual.

But the worst about it was the coldness in their eyes.

Whenever they had been around each other their eye contact had been endearing, kind, familiar and warm but now. All the love and admiration had vanished and only stone cold resentment lingered behind them.

Leo got quite fed up with it. With being the only one who communicated in their group. He was so tired of feeling so alone.  
Of being the one who kept them together.

That wasn't suppose to be _his_ task. Bran was their leader, he was the one who was charged with keeping them in line.

But he was so caught up in his self pity that he had forsaken his duties and wallowed in his misery.

The worst thing about it was that his carelessness seemed to be as infectious as a virus to the other men around him.  
It was spreading rapidly to Otter and now to Cris, who happily joined in on the complaining and wallowing.

Leo gritted his teeth, swallowed his anger and remained silent, knowing very well that all of this was a storm lying in wait. When it would break free, he would not be able to contain his fury. It would be bigger than a war.

His resentment would burst over the camp like a hurricane over the mountains.

When they stopped for the night and Leo went to get firewood the cubs followed him, not wanting to be around the sombre mood of the others.

He gathered the wood slowly, taking as long as he possibly could.  
Anything to prevent him from having to spend more time in the presence of clan self-pity.

He scratched Maeve behind her ears and pecked her gray head with a sad smile. ''Apparently you three are the only ones who I can still rely on. I wouldn't know what to do without you.  
It's funny, you're only babies and yet, I have three larger babies sitting around the campfire, sulking like a bunch of infants. Silly men,'' he grumbled agitated.

Conor barked soft, as if he fully understood what Leo meant and licked his hand gentle. ''You're _my_ sweet children. I'll always keep you safe and I will always love you,'' Leo assured them, as he stroked Bran and Conor on their heads.

He reluctantly walked back to camp where a small fire was burning but the crackling of the flames was the only noise that existed.

The three men were sitting in a circle, as far away from one another as they could and were as silent as the footsteps of death.

''So I see that it's still nice and cozy in here huh. A real _happy_ family aren't we?'' Leo scoffed, talking mostly to himself.

He knew better than to expect a response from the three men.

As he laid the logs on the fire he stepped back to admire his work.

He had always been good at building fires and lately, he had been the only one who'd been bothered with making them.

He was also in charge of creating supper, seeing how the other men had seemed to have lost their appetite.  
He had shot a couple of rabbits before nightfall and skinned them in silence.

Leo knew that they had to eat, especially Bran who had been weakened by his illness and therefore he kept telling himself that he _owed_ it to his brother, who had always taken care of him growing up, to return the favor and keep him alive.

As he made a stew the tensed silence grew so thick that it seemed to extend to the air, suffocating Leo like a serpent that strangled the life out of its prey.

When he stirred his ladle through the stew a third time, the dam finally burst and his anger slipped free.  
''All right, that's it! I've had _enough_ of your pathetic pity party! I'm doing all the work around here and frankly I'm exhausted! I'm the only one who takes care of the animals, I cook for all of you! I'm the one who hunts and gathers wood, I feel so _sick_ of being the only grown up around here!  
You three are acting like children and if you don't stop that this instant, I'm going north on my own and leave you three behind! You should be ashamed of yourselves. I'm the one who carries all the burdens around here just because this one lost his arm, '' he said as he pointed to Bran, ''and because his lover blames himself for that. And _you_ ,'' he said turning to Cris who was as pale as death, ''you still blame yourself for getting my brother shot.  
Well tough. You need to get over it. Bran would do it again in a heartbeat therefore you should stop feeling sorry for yourself.  
I'm sick of being the only adult around here.  
How is it that I'm the one who has to keep all of you in line? I thought I was the messed up one in this group, turns out I'm not any longer. Due to some strange twist of fate, I'm now the balanced one. _Me_.  
The one who's been repeatedly raped by Romans on a daily basis. Get the fuck over yourself before I'll strange you all! You _selfish_ bastards!!!''

Gods it felt good to get it off his chest, if only for the satisfaction of the huge, shocked eyes that were staring back at him.

It was as comical as it was tragic.

Bran was the first one who found his voice and reciprocated. ''You're _not_ going into the wilderness by yourself. I'm still in charge here, not you and I forbid you to go against my command,''

Leo frowned sarcastically and folded his arms together. ''Oh you're in charge? Truly? Huh, I would have never guessed based on your behavior these past few days.  
I would have said that I was the one in charge and therefore the one who holds the power to make the decisions.  
Not you. I'm not a baby any longer brother, I make my own choices. You have no right to say no to me. I'm not a toddler and you're not the boss of me. That said, if you are in charge then bloody _act_ like it!''

''Leo,'' Otter interrupted, voice hard and icy, ''that's enough,''

''No, this isn't any of your business, this is between me and my brother. Stay out of this! He is perfectly capable to fight his own battles without his guard dog lashing out for him,'' Leo barked back.

Cristiano had stayed remarkably silent during the heated debate and Leo stared carefully at his lover.

Why wasn't he butting in? Why wasn't Cris taking his side, as Otter was taking Bran's.

A normal gesture for partners, he assumed. And yet, Cris wasn't meddling himself in the cold war between Bran an Leo.

Perhaps it was the wisest choice he could possibly make at that time, but still, Leo would have appreciated a little support.

''You can't make it on your own Leo, it's just not possible,'' Bran sighed, looking utterly miserable and defeated by Leo's anger.

''Says who? Don't ever tell me what I can't do. I'm much more resilient than you might think,''

''I know that, you are much stronger than you look. Alas you are not resourceful enough to retrieve it by yourself, you will need our help,''

''Pfff maybe _you_ need help now that you're down an arm, however I still have _two_ left so don't lecture me about not being-''

''Leo!'' Cristiano chose this moment to interject, much to Leo's annoyance. ''Please stop!''

''Oh so you do still have a tongue? I was getting concerned someone had cut it out when I wasn't looking,'' Leo spat, pursing his lips together before he said words so horrible that he could never take them back.

He knew he had been completely out of line to Bran with his previous comment, but he no longer cared about hurting anyone's feelings. His fury had clouded his judgement and was bursting free in waves of irrational anger.

Now it was Cris' turn to get defiant. He raised an eyebrow, clearly aggravated with Leo. ''Well what do you want me to say?''

Leo shrugged and folded his arms together before they would feel the urge to throw logs at Cristiano's face.''I don't know, but you could be on _my_ _side_ for a change! Your guilt is clouding your judgement and I'm getting tired of it,''

''I am on your side Leo! Gods, how can you even doubt that. I'm _always_ on your side. And while I understand why you feel like we've let you down, you're being really unfair right now,''

''Life is unfair Cris! And I'm not the one who's being unfair. You three have created all of this, not me. I'm the adult here now and I'm calling the shots.  
You three are going to take the horses, turn around and travel back home. I will go north on my own, get that stupid eagle back myself and meet you in the villa in a few months,'' Leo was so angry that he was nearly shouting now.

His voice was echoing through the gathering darkness.

A small shard of the crescent moon was peeking through the clouds.

Cris stepped toward him and cradled his face between his warm hands, holding him so close that Leo could nearly taste his breath.

When Cristiano was so near to him, his overwhelming scent and presence nearly took Leo's breath away. Even after all those months together, the very sight of Cris could still take Leo's breath away.

He still could not comprehend how Cris had ever fallen for someone as mousy and plain as him.

Leo would never be able to refuse Cris anything when he held him so tenderly. As if he was the most valuable person on the planet to him. ''You are _not_ going to abandon your family. I won't have you dying for a cause that is mine by right.  
If retrieving the eagle gets me killed then so be it, but I'm not losing you over it. _Nothing_ is worth losing you.  
I understand your anger and your disappointment in us and you're not wrong, we have failed you,'' Cris paused for a moment to kiss Leo's forehead.

The lips were so sweet, so consuming that they made Leo's stomach flutter with need. ''But please do not throw your life away so easily.  
Don't go north alone, for I would never forgive myself if they murder you.  
How can I go on without you? With knowing that it was my idea that cost you your life? You have called us selfish and you're partially right, but alas, if you continue this journey alone you are exactly as selfish as you say we are. Please do not abandon me,''

He leaned down to kiss Leo's lips briefly but passionately and when he was done, Leo's lips were quivering with desperate need.

He was feeling so many things at once that it made his head spin.

When Cris kissed him like that he could no longer think rationally, all he could do was feel endless love for his Roman.

And he had missed him. So much.

He had missed sleeping in Cristiano's arms during the cold nights, he had missed his kisses, his warm hand in his own.

The smile on his face when Leo said something funny. The creases in his cheeks when he laughed.

Leo had missed everything about Cristiano and he longed to be in his arms once again. But suddenly the idea of merely sleeping in Cris' arms was not enough any longer. Leo _needed_ more.

Wanted to consummate their love with his beautiful Roman.

He no longer felt any barriers of fear when he thought about taking that final step with Cristiano, no crippling pinch in his gut at the thought of having sex with him.

Leo was more than ready for it.

Cris would never hurt him, deep down he had always known that, but he simply had not been able to forget the faces of all the men who had raped him over the years.

He used to be able to see them with his waking eyes.  
But now, the men and their hateful eyes were finally completely gone.

The only features he could see were Cris' kind and compassionate ones. His warm walnut eyes that lit up every time he saw Leo.

He would never harm Leo, and besides, he had given all the power to Leo. Told him that he could be the one on top, something that he had never experienced before.  
Nor had Cris ever had a man penetrate him before.

They would both be virgins in their own way. Suddenly Leo could not wait a moment longer.

He tugged Cristiano toward him and plastered their lips together, moaning at the sensation of the warm lips to his. Cris had clearly been taken by surprise but reciprocated the kiss eagerly, parting his lips to grant him better access.

Leo forgot about absolutely everything.

The fact that their brothers were standing about two feet away from them, the argument he had created, all the loneliness he had felt these past few days.

It was all gone now. His head was finally silenced and at peace again.

Cristiano's teeth raked over his lower lip, making Leo's tremble as he felt a strong hand caress through his hair. Someone scraped his throat nearby, probably Bran, judging by the sound of his voice.

That made Cris recoil slowly, pecking Leo's nose as he composed himself.

His face was flushed and he was panting slightly.

He had never looked more gorgeous. Leo fell in love with him all over again if that was even possible.

''We uh, need a moment alone,'' Leo told their brothers.

Bran grinned at Otter. They exchanged a look that only existed between two men who knew each other through and through. ''Yes we could _see_ that. Don't go too far though, it's dangerous out there,''

Leo inhaled deep, released Cris' arm and walked toward his brother.

He knew he owed Bran an apology for what he had said to him.

He had been completely out of line and it was normal in their Clan to grovel a bit and take responsibility for your mistakes. Brigantes did not hold grudges, as long as an apology came swiftly.

Leo slipped forward like he used to do as a child, nearly shuffling his feet, halting a few inches away from his brother. ''Bran?''

Bran gave him a small smile. ''Yes Leo,''

''I'm very sorry for what I said. It was unworthy of me. I deserve your anger,'' he said anxiously. Gods, he felt like a five-year old all over again. What was it about Bran that rattled his senses this much?

How could he always make him feel so small with a simple crease of an eyebrow?

Apparently blood was thicker than water.

Bran extended his hand and took Leo's in his own. ''I'm not angry at you little one. You were right about everything you said. We were behaving like children and it's mostly my fault. There is _nothing_ to forgive. You can say anything to me and I would still always love you.  
That is my prerogative as an elder brother.  
Nothing you could ever do or say would ever diminish my love for you. You're the blood of my blood and we can get through everything as long as we stick together. That said, if you _ever_ mock me for only having one arm again I'll have to pound you a little bit,'' he added, giving Leo a playful wink.

Leo gave him a watery smile and swallowed his tears away. ''I promise I won't mock you again,''

''Good, come here then you little rascal,'' Bran tugged Leo into his arms and held him tight. Leo exhaled relieved and felt a lonely tear escaping his eyes.  
Bran was smelling like he always did, earthly, a bit like dried sweat and the hint of blood of his arm reached Leo's nose.

''Gods be good Leo, I wish I had your courage sometimes,'' Bran mumbled in his ear. His arms were tightly locked around Leo's body.

''What are you talking about? You're the bravest man I know,'' Leo pointed out, taken aback by Bran's strange words.

''No I'm not. You might put me on a pedestal but I'm not all that brave, believe me.  
But you, to be this strong and balanced after everything you have had to endure by the Romans, now that is true courage.  
To be able to lift your head proudly and even start a relationship with one. True power is to be able to forgive your enemies and you posses that ability.  
That amazes me Leo.  
You amaze me. I'm in awe of your strength and your compassion. I wish I could be more like you. I'm so _proud_ of you,'' Bran told him.

Leo felt his heart swell up a few sizes and a warm feeling of love he had never felt before came over him. ''I love you brother,''

Bran smiled in his hair and kissed the top of his head. ''And I love you little one. Always,''  
Leo released him slowly and Bran gave Leo a wink. ''Don't go too far from the camp please,'' he warned.

''But far enough if you don't mind. We don't want to hear anything you two are doing,'' Otter added, smirking for the first time in days.

Leo knew he owed Otter an explanation as well, for he had insulted Bran, creating some tension between himself and Otter due to that.

''Otter, will you forgive me for my words?'' he asked, voice barely audible.

Otter's lips twitched up and he pulled Leo into an embrace that nearly knocked the air out of Leo's lungs. ''Of course I forgive you, silly child, besides: we had it coming,''  
''Thank you,'' Leo quipped from the slopes of Otter's shoulder.

''Now get out of here, me and Bran could use some alone time as well,''  
Leo grinned and walked back to Cris. He took his hand and led him into the bushes.

''Leo, are you completely certain about this? I mean I do not want to-''

Leo shook his head firmly. ''I'm absolutely certain. We have waited long enough. I am ready Cris. Before today, the faces of all the men who hurt me were haunting me every time I shut my eyes, or whenever they were open.  
Now they are finally gone. All I can see is you. I'm not afraid any longer. And I need you. Please don't reject me,''

Cris wrapped his arms around Leo and held him tight to his muscled chest. ''I'm not going to reject you, I merely wanted to make sure that you were absolutely certain about this. I do not want you to have any regrets afterward. What I'm trying to say is that I won't mind waiting for you a bit longer.  
I do not want to give you the feeling that you have to do this to make me happy.  
You already make me the luckiest man everyday I get to be loved by you. Sex is just a small part of it, I can do without it for as long as you need to get ready,''

Leo felt a warm wave of content washing through his system.

How was Cristiano such a perfect human being? Why was he always able to say the right things when Leo usually wasn't even capable of making a correct sentence about how he felt.

''Cris, listen to me,'' Leo demanded as he tugged Cris down on the soft moss beside him, folding their hands together as their eyes met. ''I am ready to have sex with you. I _promise_ you. You know what a bad liar I am. I want this to happen and I want you to believe me when I say that,''

''I do believe you Leo, because I know you would never lie to me. But just because you feel ready does not mean that you are. You might still freeze during...well you know. I want you to know that it's all right if that happens.  
And you have to tell me when it does, so that we can stop. I'm never going to force you into anything. Promise me that you will let me know if it gets to be too much for you. Just because your demons have disappeared for now, does not mean they will remain absent forever,''

Leo felt an icy hand constricting over his heart, stripping him of his ability to breath properly. ''Why are you saying this? I was feeling so glad that they were finally gone,''

''I'm telling you this because it is the truth, they might reappear during certain _'activities'_ and I do not want it to be a shock to you. I want to keep you safe. So you have to promise me that you will let me know when they are back to plague you,''

Leo gazed deep into Cris' reliable dark eyes and sighed. Cristiano only wanted the best for him, wanted their first time to be as special as Leo wanted it to be. ''Fine, I promise to let you know,''

Cris kissed him on the cheek. He brought Leo's hand to his lips and stroked his lips over them. ''Good, follow me then,''

He rose to his feet and led Leo to a secluded piece of forest near a small lake. He laid Leo down on the moss and covered his small body with his own.

Butterflies erupted in Leo's stomach as the realization of what they were about to do registered in his mind.

He was about to make love to Cristiano.

For a moment a small gnawing thought of doubt arose in his spinning head, but as soon as he felt Cristiano's lips nibbling at his neck, his inner voices were silenced.  
Cris would never hurt him. Never.

He was _safe_ here with Cris. Nobody would hurt him.

Cristiano loved him and would never harm him. He was safe...

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So for a moment I had literally thought to send Leo to the seal people's village all by himself. I actually had already set out a storyline for him to go on alone. But as usual, I changed my mind. In the next chapter I will finally deliver you guys Cris/Leo smut. After all this time. Sorry for making you guys wait so long for that. It's been nearly a year. I know how irritating it can be to wait for smut in long stories. But for the story it was better to make them wait a long time, when you think about Leo's past. 
> 
> Leo is still one of my favorite characters to write here. He's so brave and resilient.  
> Thank you guys for the support! <3


	35. I will carry you through the darkness.

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Leo and Cristiano try to seal their bond, but other stuff happens. 
> 
> And yes, there will be smut, as I promised. Sort off.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I know I've been AWOL for far too long now, but I had so little inspiration to keep writing this, mostly because I was completely dreading the smut. So I found a way around it and I hope that the ending was good. 
> 
> I like it, although I know that I cheated a little bit with this chapter.
> 
>  
> 
> I'm doing two POV's in this chapter again, we start with Cris and move on to Leo.

_Cristiano_.

 

 

 

 

Cristiano had spend the last months imagining what it would be like to finally take that last step and make love to Leo.

To feel his slender body sliding into his, completing him in more ways than one. He had waited a long time for this, to take the plunge over the edge into the deep, delving further into a new phase in their relationship.

This would change everything between them, bind them tighter together as they had been before, if that was even at all possible.

Now that it was here, after all that waiting, it felt nearly anticlimactic.

As if Cristiano suddenly wasn't ready at all. He _wanted_ Leo, had desired him from the first time he had laid eyes on him in the Arena, but this-it meant something of grave importance to the both of them.

Both men would be leaving the comfort of the familiar and plunder into the deep. Cristiano would hand the reins over to Leo, letting him be the one who would be in _control_.

Which in all fairness, was about the highest compliment he could ever pay the Briton, especially when you considered the fact that Cristiano was very fond of being in control.

That he trusted him that much was a huge boost for Leo's ego.

That Cris gave him all of himself, being at Leo's mercy.

In return, Leo would face his demons, leaving the faces of the men who raped him behind. _Hopefully_.

Cristiano still doubted whether Leo was truly ready for this.

He was still worried over his lover. The last thing he wanted to do was hurt Leo, in any way.

Consciously or subconsciously. He couldn't be the one who shattered Leo, not after all they had endured together. He needed to make Leo feel save, loved and treasured.

As if he was the most precious creature in the world, which to Cris, he _was_. Leo led him down to a remote space of open forest and lit a small fire, just to give them some light and heat.

The moon was proudly high up in the sky, shining down upon them like a gift from the gods and the warmth of the crackling flames went straight to Cristiano's heart.

Leo's hand was hot in his, expectant and a bit clammy.

He tugged Cristiano down beside him, feeling both their clothes dampening due to the wet evening dew on the grass. Neither one of them cared.

Cristiano stared at Leo in sheer awe of the sight of his Briton.

He had never looked more beautiful, more serene and filled with youthful anticipation.

The glow of the flames reflected on his face, creating a sunset like sight that took Cristiano's breath away.

Leo smiled shyly, as if he knew precisely what Cristiano had been thinking and lifted his hand to his lips, kissing it sensually. ''Gods, you have _never_ looked more like a god Leo, you're absolutely breathtaking,'' he complimented, making Leo blush but the deep chuckle that rose from his throat told him enough.

Leo stroked his cheek, leaned in and locked their eyes together. ''And neither have you Cris, but then again, you always resemble a god to me. You are the god who had mercy on me. Who loves me, when the rest of your people merely used me as damaged goods or besmirched property. You have always seen _all_ of me, loved me despite of my past and took care of me when no one else would.  
I love you Cristiano, you are _everything_ to me. Now and forever. I will never love anyone else in this lifetime as I have loved you. That might sound a bit too feminine perhaps, but I do mean it. The gods smiled upon me the day they brought you to me. Granted me someone good, for once. I will always cherish that,''

Cristiano's chest felt too tight, his eyes were watering and he felt love mingled with heat, pooling into his abdomen.

''Gods Leo, I cannot even explain to you how much you mean to me. None of the words can ever compare to the familiar feeling that overwhelms me when you are near me, touching me. Holding me into your arms, reading my mind as if we are one. I cannot imagine my life without you. You shone a light in my heart that I had long forgot even existed. You saved me, from drowning in myself. I love you, always,''

Leo smiled deep, cradled Cristiano closer into his arms and kissed him tenderly, their warm breaths mingling into the sweetness of the kiss. ''This feels a bit like we are getting married, to be honest. Sounds like we just made our vows in front of my old gods,'' Leo chuckled.

Cristiano kissed Leo's forehead and moved his lips to Leo's cheeks, holding his face tight between his digits. ''Would you?'' he asked, voice barely more than a whisper, ''marry me, I mean?''

Leo felt so overwhelmed that he, instinctively, trashed their needy mouths together for a open, desperate kiss that Cristiano felt surging through his entire system and soul.

When he released Cristiano, he was shivering. ''Of course I would, but they will _never_ let us. Men are for pleasure, but women are for marriage.  
But for what it is worth: I would love to be married to you, I want that more than anything else in this world.  
However, no Roman priest nor one of mine would ever conduct a ceremony between two men,''

Cristiano lowered his head, trying to shake the overwhelming disappointment out of his mind, but it was no use.

He knew, rationally, that Leo was completely correct with his statements, but emotionally, he couldn't care less whether anyone would approve of them being wed.

He wanted Leo to be his, officially, in sight of all the gods.

''Nobody has to know,'' Cris whispered into Leo's ear, as he sucked a kiss to the pale neck, ''we could do it in secret, with our brother's present and nobody else. Just exchange wedding gifts and bind our hands together, as they do in Gaelic tradition. Would you like that?''

''Get wed in Gaelic traditions?'' Leo asked, looking completely taken aback but also flattered by the suggestion.  
''Yes would you?''

Leo's eyes shone. ''I would, but what about you Cris? Wouldn't you want to get married through proper Roman traditions?''

''No, I might be a Roman but due to you and our brothers, I feel more connected to the British way of living at the moment. Also, I cannot seem to forget what my own people did to you. How they wrecked you, deprived you of all humanity. I would be completely happy with a Gaelic wedding. I want to be _yours_ Leo, want you to be my companion. Want to wear your markings on me, I want to die in your arms. Please don't refuse me...''

Leo kissed him again, deeper this time. ''I'm not refusing you. I would consider it an honor to be your companion-officially. But you need to be certain about it. And you really should wait until we have made love. So that if I'm not as good as you expected, you aren't bound to me yet. You can still get away and find someone who-''

Cristiano groaned furiously and placed a finger to Leo's lips, silencing him abruptly. ''Don't you even _dare_ finish that sentence, you stubborn Briton. For I do not like where it was heading. You have me Leo, and I am never going anywhere. Not if it takes you another ten years to make love to me in the traditional manner, nor if you will never be ready for it.  
We can still do a lot of other pleasant things to each other.  
I've told you this before: not everything is about sex. You're _mine_ and if I have to marry you before we make love to prove that to you, then I will. I'm not going anywhere. I love you. So what do you say? Will you marry me? Right here, tonight? With our brothers and the gods as our witnesses?''

Leo gasped, jaw dropping in amazement. ''You are serious aren't you?''

''Yes, I always am when it comes to my love for you. What is your answer?'' Cris asked, as he clasped onto Leo's hand a bit tighter.

Leo could only stare at him, eyes huge and unbelieving.

He placed his other hand on top of Cristiano's mingling them together and smiled heartedly. ''Yes, I'll marry you,''

Cristiano exasperated deep, looking stunned and incredibly emotional. On the verge of tears. ''You will?''

Leo pulled Cris into a tight embrace, burying his damp face into his lover's chest. He pecked the skin below his clavicle tenderly and sighed happily. ''I will,''  
Cristiano felt like the happiest man alive.

 

 _Leo_.

 

Leo could not believe his luck.

The man who he loved more than anything else in the world, had just proposed to him.

Wanted to be _married_ to him, bound, without even knowing whether the sex between them would be good or not. It had to be the grandest gesture that Leo had ever lived through.

That he had found someone who valued him beyond borders or limitations, who would be there until the very end. Who he could rely on.

How someone so perfect like Cristiano even existed was beyond Leo's understanding.

That he had fallen in love with _him_ , a normal looking man who was nothing special really, was even more incredible.

But Cristiano had and whatever it was that bound them together, was as real as the air they breathed.

As much as he appreciated the fact that Cristiano was willing to postpone their first time, yet again, he still wanted to give him something, as a little preview of what he still had in mind for him.

He kissed Cris' neck lavishly, moving his hot, anticipating tongue up to his ear. He sucked on the sensitive flesh of his earlobe, making his soon to be husband shake uncontrollably.

Cristiano let out a low groan and threw his head backward, panting erratically as Leo straddled his lap and seated himself into his arms.

The Roman's strong grip came around his back and Leo felt the calloused, gentle fingers creeping underneath his tunic, caressing his skin.

He knew that they weren't going to make love right now, seeing how Cristiano sensed that he was not ready yet, much to Leo's dismay, and that he wanted to keep his word by marrying Leo first.

But still, he could give Cristiano a little wedding  _gift_ couldn't he? To take the pressure off his partner.

Leo tugged Cristiano's tunic over his head and discarded it quickly. He moaned when his fingertips could finally roam freely over the sculpted muscles of the tanned skin.

Dipping in for another sucking kiss, he felt goosebumps appearing on Cristiano's arms.

This was going to be so good. He needed to feel more of Cristiano, he was too anxious to wait.

He tugged Cris' breeches down with an urgency that he couldn't quite comprehend and admired his partner's, long, thick cock for a moment. Gods, he _needed_ it. Ached for it.

Wanted to feel it throbbing in his hands, wanted to kiss it until Cristiano begged him to come.

He caught Cristiano's eye just before he lowered his head to kiss his stomach, and saw lust mingled with waves of love in the warm depths of Cristiano's dark gems.

Leo wondered if there was a limit to how much he could love this man.

It certainly didn't feel as if the love would ever deteriorate between them, it only seemed to enhance with each passing day.

As he trailed a path of featherlight kisses to Cristiano's quivering stomach, he halted for a moment at his rock hard cock, taking in the sight before he lowered himself and pursued his trail of sucking kisses to the inner thighs of his lover.

Cristiano was squirming now, desperate for anything that Leo was willing to give him. ''P-please Leo,'' he pleaded, sounding completely wrecked. Leo loved this part.

The sheer enthusiasm he got from getting Cristiano so hard and wanton that he started begging for his mouth, his hands or both.

He draped his hand slowly over the foreskin of Cris' cock and pulled it back carefully, revealing the dripping slit, which was rich with precome. ''Do you want this Cristiano? My warm mouth around your cock? Hm?''

Cristiano nodded helplessly, as his limbs went all over the place.

''Tell me how much you want it? Show me how pretty you get when you beg,'' Leo demanded, voice hot with anticipation. He was shaking as well, due to the sheer sight of seeing his lover so beautifully disheveled and wrecked at his hands and lips.

Cristiano sucked in a breath. ''Gods Leo...please...kiss me...''

Leo did.

Just not to his cock. He rose up to meet Cristiano's lips an captured them with his own, feeling a sudden urge to devour Cristiano's hot, welcoming tongue.

They kissed for what seemed to be forever when Leo finally pulled back, gasping. He felt his lips swelling up already.

They were a huge mess of held back lust and desire and Leo loved everything about it.

He dove in for another kiss, feeling Cristiano suck desperately at his lower lip, begging him for entrance.

And who was Leo to deny his soon to be husband anything? He let him, granting temporary control over the kiss to Cris, who kissed him so intensely that he could swore he forgot his own name.

He was floating up in the sky.

Drifting into a dream. Cristiano released him a while later, although in Leo's mind it had felt like a hundred years, and smiled warm at him. Pecking his temple. ''You make me so happy,'' he murmured into Leo's ear.

''I know Cris,'' Leo said as he trailed his way back down to Cristiano's drooping cock.

He was so hard that it must have been a menace to his balls. Leo could relate to the feeling for his own felt too tight for their own good. His own cock was straining through his breeches, hard and insistent.

As he curled his lips around Cristiano's balls to get in for a first, savory lick, he felt them tightening under his touches.

The air seemed to be ecstatic around them, nearly too vast with anticipation and erotic tension.

Cris let out a deep groan when Leo finally decided to stop torturing and took his cock into his mouth, swallowing it all the way down to the base.

Leo loved doing this.

He had always hated it when the Romans had forced him to suck their cocks but with Cristiano, it was different.

He came undone so perfectly under the touch of his lips, that Leo could never get enough of the sight of him.

Leo knew that he was good at it too, knew all the tricks to turn Cristiano into a begging, pleading mess of a man. Writhing in his arms, desperate for more.

Leo slid his tongue up and down Cristiano's long cock and tasted the deliciousness of the salty precome on the slid.

He stroked Cristiano's balls gently, tugging them a bit to drive him even further over the edge and started properly sucking his way up and down his cock.

He let it slide nearly out of his mouth and swallowed it a moment later, much to Cris' delight.

He had to hold his hips still, for Leo sensed that he was resisting the urge to thrust into his mouth, hungry for more.

Leo hummed around Cris' cock, the vibrations causing Cris to let out a groan so loud that their brothers had probably heard it. ''L-leo, I'm not going to last if you keep that up,'' Cristiano moaned. ''Ohhh gods, that's good,''

Leo tugged himself off Cristiano's cock for a moment and kissed his lips deep. ''Thrust into my mouth, I know you want it,''

Cris' eyes went wide. ''Are you sure?''

''Yes, do it,''

''I love it when you get so bossy and controlling,'' Cristiano beamed as he laid back, folded his hands behind his head and waited for Leo to spoil him again.

Leo kept his word and sucked his way down to the base of Cristiano's cock in one lavishly long breath. Cristiano reached for his hair and cradled his fingers through the thick strains. Still a panting mess.

He started bucking his hips up and plundered Leo's mouth eagerly, moaning and trembling with every thrust.

Leo felt that he wasn't going to last. His eyes were starting to water slightly and he felt his neck beginning to ache. But he couldn't care less. He loved doing this so much.

Loved taking it all for Cristiano. Making him come so hard that he couldn't even remember his own name. With one small squeeze at Cris' balls, the Roman was coming, spurting his semen deep into the back of Leo's throat.

He swallowed it quickly, never being especially fond of the flavor or texture, and kissed his way back up to Cristiano's body. When he reached his lips, he captured them into another furious kiss.

Cristiano was still wrecked, looking utterly gorgeous and messy.

He held Leo tight into his arms and his hand swiftly found its way into Leo's breeches, freeing his neglected cock from its restraints. _Finally_.

''Gods that was-incredibly amazing. One of the best orgasms of my life,'' Cris complimented as his digits started moving around Leo's cock, making his bones shake. ''But now my love, now it's _your_ turn,''

Cristiano lowered himself down to Leo's cock and took his time exploring his body, much to Leo's annoyance.

He was far too desperate for his orgasm to allow any more delays, no matter how delicious they felt. ''Stop teasing me, I'm so hard that it actually hurts me,'' he begged.

Cris smirked mischievously, but obeyed him nonetheless, sucking his skillful tongue over Leo's cock, sliding it up and down a few times before finally sucking on it, relieving some of Leo's built up pressure.

His orgasm was already coming quickly now, barely a few minutes in.

Sucking Cristiano off always had a way of speeding the process along.

When he remembered how Cristiano had gotten so good at this, he felt a sting of jealousy coursing through his soul. Cristiano had sucked off many guys during his childhood, had been a bit of an easy prey to both men and women.

Leo never liked to think about that aspect whenever Cris was doing this, but yet somehow, he always did. It always made him seethe with furious possessiveness. Which made his orgasm even more intense and delicious than it normally would be.

The fact that Cristiano was his now and that he would never have to share him with anyone else again was a feeling that he could never truly explain in words. And now they were going to be married.

Cristiano would be his, by oath. Leo would be the only man who he would ever do this to again. Ever.

The prospect was exhilarating and Leo's orgasm crept up on him before he could give Cris a proper warning.

Not that he needed to. Cristiano knew his body better than anyone else and sensed everything he felt.

Cristiano left Leo into a complete incoherent wreck. Leo exhaled relieved when Cristiano had sucked his cock dry and thrashed their lips together. He tasted himself on Cristiano's tongue, something that always felt so deliciously intimate and intoxicating to him.

Private. Something that was just for them. Leo collapsed into Cris' arms and felt his Roman holding him tight, pecking his neck, his forehead, his cheeks, every piece of skin that was available to him.

''That was brilliant,'' Leo panted, his skin radiating in the afterglow of his mind blowing orgasm.

Cris grinned cocky at him. ''I know,''

''Do you think we can get Bran to marry us?''

''I hope so, why don't you say we clean ourselves up and find out?''

Leo brushed his lips over Cristiano's one last time before rising to his feet, gathering their clothes. ''Sounds like a solid plan,''

When they had nearly reached the campsite, Leo halted for a moment, pulling Cristiano by his arm holding him close. ''I cannot wait to be married to you. I want you to know that I-well I appreciate this and-''

''Leo,'' Cris hushed, as he captured his lips again. ''You don't have to say it. I know. I've _always_ known. Come on, let's make it official,''

He wrapped his arm around Leo's side and Leo curled his arm firmly around Cris' waistline, tangling their fingers together.

Love was a strange phenomenon sometimes.

The less sense it seemed to make, the more powerful it often was. Leo and Cristiano together did not make any sense, but there was no denying that their love was real.

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

_TBC....._

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Sooo, what do you think? Are you guys excited about the wedding? Was the smut okay?  
> I'm really nervous now so please don't forget to leave feedback.


	36. Disappearances happen.

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Leo and Cris tell their brothers about their idea to get wed. 
> 
> Meanwhile other problems arise when Maeve suddenly goes missing.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Sorry for taking so long with this.  
> Next week I'm going back to work so from then on, I'll have even less time to write. Updates will come, but steadily and it might take a while.

_Bran_.

 

 

 

 

Bran was laying backward on the soggy moss, arm folded behind his head as a bunch of guttural groans escaped his lips.

Otter's tongue was sliding achingly slowly over his cock, making his head spin with sheer lust and hazy desire.

He finally found some solace and relief for his missing arm.

The pain that persistently resided in his useless stump had at last, subsided.

Fainting off to a dull throb.

All he felt now was immense pleasure, desire and an overwhelming sense of serenity.

Otter was _so_ _good_ at this, driving him mad with his lavish, skilled tongue.

Bran forgot about everything, his little brother and Cris, the sleeping cubs nearby, his missing arm, the fact that his clothes were drenched in sweat. Everything faded into the hazy bliss Otter created.

All those meaningless details evaporated into the background.

All that existed now was he and Otter.

Completely lost in each other. It was all that had _ever_ mattered. Just the two of them.

Otter moaned as his lips wandered off to Bran's balls, his tongue teasing them anxiously slow.

''Gods, you're killing me,'' Bran panted, chest heaving up and down too quick for his own good.

''Not yet, but I _could_ , if I wanted to,'' Otter smirked sly as he traced his fingers over Bran's abdomen, creating shivers over Bran's spine.

He placed a sensual, needy kiss to Bran's inner thigh, sucking a nearly painful, possessive mark there.

Bran shivered in emotion, resisting the urge to cry suddenly.

He didn't mind the pain, in fact he welcomed it as an old friend.

He and Otter had always been rather _rough_ with each other, but the bruises and markings somehow only added to the pleasure.

Even though he would never admit it, he still secretly _loved_ it when Otter did that, marking him as his.

Displaying his delicious possessiveness over him.

He didn't have to do it, seeing how nobody but Otter would ever be _allowed_ to be near his private parts, but still, it felt good to know that Otter still felt the need to claim him.

To make him his. Even when he didn't have to.

After all this time. It made Bran feel desired and special.

Suddenly he couldn't wait any longer, the suspense was killing him and the need to feel complete overwhelmed him.

''I want to be in you-now,'' he whispered in Otter's ear.

A twinge snapped nearby and before either one of them could untangle themselves from each other, their brothers had appeared in front of them, jaws dropped in shock.

Bran cursed his luck and sucked in a deep breath.

It was telling for how completely lost they had been in each other that neither one of them had heard them approaching.

That wasn't like them, their senses were usually exceptionally good.

They were highly trained observers, letting them just wander into the camp without making a sound was prove that they needed to work harder on their training.

Apparently they were getting absurdly sloppy.

''Oh for the love of-'' Leo covered his eyes, looking at them with a mild disgust.

Cris was a bit more tactical, still a true _Roman_ then somewhere deep down and decided to settle for averting his eyes to the dark sky above him, clearing his throat uncomfortably.

Otter had moved off Bran's cock as quick as he could, throwing him his breeches to cover himself.

Bran had struggled to put it over his erection, his damned one arm not exactly helping.

He needed _two_ hands. Adapting to life with only one was terribly frustrating and exhausting.

''Uh-could you turn around so we can get dressed?'' Otter asked, a fierce blush spreading over his scarred cheeks.

Bran knew how embarrassing this was for Otter, who had always been quite private about sex.

It was still a bit of a sore spot, considering his mutilation.

The last thing Otter wanted was for Cris to think any less of him when he saw his elder brother down on his knees, sucking cock.

Cris tugged Leo against him, quickly turning them away from the campsite. ''Sorry,'' he mumbled.

Bran heard the tension in the Roman's voice, as if he wasn't sure what to say.

As Otter helped Bran into his tunic and breeches, he threw him a mischievous grin that told Bran he had overcome the worst of his shame.

That was classic Otter, he adapted quickly and could let things slide in record time.

It was what made him to be such a born survivor. ''Well that was awkward huh?''

Bran snorted loud. ''You could say that,''

Otter frowned, brushing his beard. ''They will probably _never_ look at us the same again now, all they're going to see when they look at us is what they just witnessed,''

''Oh don't be so dramatic, they will get over it,''

''Are you sure? I wouldn't be able to get it out of my head if situations were reversed and we caught them doing this,''

''You are fretting like an old woman again,''

''Don't go there, you know I _hate_ it when you say that to me,''

Bran rolled his eyes at his partner but pecked his cheek nonetheless.

He knew what a sensitive subject it was to Otter when he called him feminine, no matter the context of the word.  
It wasn't something he should ever jest about.

He hadn't meant it in a bad manner, just wanted to point out that his partner was behaving a bit like the fairer sex.

''I'm sorry, I didn't mean it like that, it was just a manner of speech you know,'' he offered, as he leaned in and kissed Otter's lips briefly.

His lover sighed against his touch, returning the kiss despite his hurtful words. ''I know you didn't mean it, it's all right,''

''No it's not. I should have known better and I do. It was rather tactless of me,''

''Yes it was, but I wouldn't have you any other way. This is the man I fell in love with, warts and all. Even when he's being a big, _tactless_ idiot,''

Leo mumbled something behind them, breaking the romantic spell and Bran turned around, folding his arms together. ''Yes little one?''

''Are you two done now? Is it safe to turn around?''

''Gods, Leo, don't be so bloody childish, it is nothing you haven't done yourself, probably even this evening. Am I right?''

''That is really none of _your_ business,'' Leo hissed, as a muscle in his jaw twitched.

''Right, just like what me and Otter do is none of yours,''

Leo stepped forward to Bran but was being held back by Cris. ''This is not what we came here for Leo, remember? Damn you and your blasted Gaelic temper,''

''What did you two come here for then? We hadn't expected you back until sunrise,'' Otter wanted to know.

Bran could sense the curiosity beaming off of his partner.

Leo exchanged a smile with Cris and said, ''We want to get married, tonight. And we were hoping you could do us the honors Bran,''

It had been a while since Bran had been completely stunned by something.  
He felt his jaw drop at Leo's words and for a while all he could do was gape at them.

''Pardon me?'' he finally choked out.

''Do I need to say it again?'' Leo grinned, clearly amused by his brother's amazement.

''No, but-what are you two thinking? Men cannot wed one another in our culture Leo, you know this,''

''I do, but we don't care. It won't be an _official_ wedding, but we just want to be bound together for the rest of our lives,''

''And why are you asking me to do it?''

''Because we assumed that you could recall how it works,''

''Well I hate to disappoint you two then, but my memory is a bit hazy on that part. Whenever we had a wedding ceremony in the Clan, I was usually elsewhere, working on something more interesting, or training my fighting skills,''

''Didn't father force you to be present during the ceremonies?''

''He tried to yes, but in case you hadn't noticed I'm very skilled in slipping away without anyone noticing me disappear. Wedding are quite tedious and I preferred to spend my time training. Therefore I know very little on Gaelic weddings,''

When Bran saw the distraught expression in Leo's face he stepped closer, pulling him into his arms. ''But I'm certain that we can think of something huh?  
Improvise our own ritual or sorts.  
It won't technically be an official marriage either way, so I say we discuss a plan that we can all agree on. How does that sound?''

Cris exchanged a meaningful look with Leo and nodded. ''All right, that sounds good,''

Leo escaped the tight embrace of his brother and smiled appreciatively at him.

''Can I ask you two something?'' Cris asked suddenly.

''Of course,'' Otter retorted.

''Haven't you two ever thought about marriage?''

Otter sighed sadly. ''Of course we have, but it was never necessary. We don't need a ceremony to be bound. We are already wed, in our own manner.  
He is mine and I am his. It's as simple as that. For us, that is more than enough,''

Bran felt warmth pool in his stomach and suppressed the upcoming tears.

He could not be seen as weak. His bloody pride prevented such a sight.

Instead he inhaled deep and calmed himself. ''He is right, we are bound, but we think it is fine if you two want to pursue this. We will help you the best way we can,''

''Thank you, well we would like to do this as soon as possible. Tonight,'' Cris said determent.

Bran raised an eyebrow. "Why the sudden rush?''

Leo shrugged callously, although it was clear that he was hiding something. ''No reason,'' he lied.

''Uhu, now you are just being a mysterious, conniving little shit, just tell us the reason,''

''No, you'll laugh at me,''

''I will not, when have I _ever_ mocked you?''

Leo scoffed humorlessly. ''Do you really wish to go there? Because I can give you and endless list of examples. I have a whole childhood filled with countless evidence,''

''Fine, fine, you may have a good point there,''

''I _may_ have?''

''Just tell us what you need you little shit,''

''Well I believe it's our custom to bind our hands together using a piece of rope or fabric, so if one of you could provide that, it would be appreciated,''

''What else do you need?''

''You should say of a speech of sorts, something nice about me and Cris,''

''How demanding of you, shall I turn water into wine while I'm at it?''

''Don't jest now brother, you agreed to do this remember? So then do it. Get to work,''

Bran narrowed his eyes as he pulled his little brother into a headlock with his one arm, ruffling his fist quite hard over his hair. ''You have become a real _bossy_ little shit did you know that? I don't care for it,''

''Ouch, let me go you big brute,'' Leo chuckled as he slipped effortlessly out of Bran's arms like the little eel he was.  
He had always been so good at that, it still frustrated Bran.

When Leo and Cris got to work, assembling the necessary provisions for their wedding, Bran got cornered by Otter who wrapped an arm around him, hauling him close.

''What's bothering you hmm?'' his partner whispered into his ear.

''Nothing,''

''Do not lie to me Bran, I don't care for it and you know it,''

Technically Bran was not lying, he honestly did not know why he was suddenly feeling this-empty and slightly upset.

When Otter sensed his hesitation he pressed their foreheads together and kissed him brief. ''I can wed them if you don't feel up to it, I can tell this is upsetting you for some reason,''

Bran smiled grateful. ''No it's all right, they asked me to do it, so I will. I'm a man of my word Otter. Whatever I'm feeling right now, will pass. I'm sure of it,''

Otter winked at him. ''Just let me know if you need my help, I know it is not your forte, but I actually enjoy having your back. Not that you would ever ask me for it,''

''Well you know me,''

Leo walked up, holding a piece of rope in his hands. ''I thought it would be nice if we can get Maeve to bring this up to us during the ceremony, seeing how she is sort of our little lovechild. Have you two seen her?''

Bran gazed around them, noticing that Leo was correct.

Only little Bran and Conor were sitting near the campfire.

There was no sight of Maeve. How hadn't he noticed her absence? 

''No, we haven't, we thought she went with you two when you slipped away,'' Otter replied.

Leo paled. ''She was with us, but I haven't seen her since we returned to camp. Maeve! Come here girl!'' he called out, but where the cub usually came running, there was no reply this time.

All they heard now was silence.

''Gods, you don't think she ran off to chase a duck or something do you?'' Bran had to ask it, despite not believing that Maeve would ever voluntarily leave Leo's side.

The alternative was simply too horrific to even consider.

''Of course not, she would never just run off without our permission,'' Cristiano said, determent as ever.

The other cubs had risen up, staring at each other as if they were silently communicating about their missing sister.

Bran hadn't noticed Maeve's absence and he was pretty certain that her sleeping brothers hadn't as well.

Where in the gods name had she gone?

Why had she suddenly ran away, it didn't make any sense.

''Bran, Conor, go find your sister! Find Maeve,'' Leo ordered.

The cubs ran off without warning and Bran felt his legs move automatically.

Otter stayed behind to protect the horses, seeing how they were vulnerable to predators.

The last thing they needed was a bear ripping them to shreds.

As Bran followed behind Cris and Leo, he heard the wolves howling in front of them, picking up the pace as if they had picked up Maeve's scent.

He ran as fast as his legs allowed him to, but he felt weaker than he ever had before.

The pain in his arm had returned to gnaw at him, slowing him down.  
When the cubs finally slowed down in front of him and Bran had caught up with the group, he cringed at the sight.

Maeve was lying in the mud, her left front paw stuck into the iron jaws of a trap, blood smeared over her gray fur.

She seemed to be unconscious, steady breaths lowering and rising her body up and down.

She was alive then. _Thankfully_.

Her brothers licked the blood off her paw and barked at her, begging her to awake but she could not respond. Bran's mind was racing, confounded by the situation.

Why would anyone place a trap out here in the middle of nowhere? As far as he knew nobody lived in rural conditional like these.

When he heard footsteps surrounding them, it all made sense.

They had wandered into a trap. Maeve had been bait.

''Get down,'' he breathed under his tongue, in Roman to throw whoever it was that was hunting them off.

''What-why?'' Cris panted, staring anxiously into the growing darkness.

''We are being _hunted_. Do as I say, down now!''

He heard the whooshing sound of multiple objects flying through the air and the next thing he saw was Cris and Leo falling down in the ground beside him, knocked out cold.

Before he could reach for his sword to fight off whoever it was that attacked them, he got hammered on the back of his head with a heavy stone.

Everything went dark.

The last thing he recalled was the cubs helpless cries for help.

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

_TBC......._

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> No I'm leaving it on a cliffhanger again? So evil of me. To be honest, I just can't let my boys be happy can I? 
> 
> I always throw more problems at them as this continues. Oh well. I just feel like it would be unbelievable to enter the wilderness and not run into hostile clans or other shit. 
> 
> Poor Cris and Leo though, their wedding will have to wait a while now. I hadn't planned on this twist at all btw, it just entered my mind and I liked it. 
> 
> Now it's up to Otter to go and rescue them. Oh dear...  
> Let me know what you think guys. I highly appreciate your comments and kudos! <3


	37. Where are you now?

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Otter desperately tries to find his family again.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Sorry for taking so long guys. I'm back home now and working a lot so this update took some time.  
> It's a sad chapter though. 
> 
> Made me cry during the writing of this. So bring your tissues. I'm just warning ya.

_Otter_.

 

 

 

 

Dawn was slowly creeping over the tree line when Otter decided that he was _officially_ worried now, despite his objections to make faulty conclusions.

It had been hours since Bran, Leo, Cris and the wolves had gone into the woods to search for Maeve and instinctively he knew that something was amiss.

He had been determined to stay positive though, deciding to give them until dawn before he would go after them.

After all, a search party could take hours.

He shouldn't immediately assume the worst.

But he could no longer ignore that gnawing sensation in his chest.

A residing feeling that Bran was not coming back ate away at him, taunting him.

Deep down he _knew_ that something bad had happened to them, for his and Bran's emotions had always been strongly linked.

He had spent the entire night pacing up and down beside the horses, trying to ease his restless, concerned mind but he couldn't fool them and the animals sensed his nerves, therefore becoming anxious themselves.

Moire was the worst, she had been whinnying and shivering uncontrollably for hours, lashing out at him when he tried to soothe her. She wouldn't bite him, but she made it clear that if he were smart, he would back away from her.

Otter knew that she and Leo shared a very special bond and her distress told him that the situation was much more dire than he had initially feared.

He knew that Bran was still alive, for if he had died, Otter would have felt it.

That was one of the few certainties he had in his sad little life.

Knowing that he and Bran were bonded, somehow. If he were dead, Otter would _feel_ it in his heart.

No, Bran was alive, he had to be. Otter wouldn't make it in this world without him.

He fed the horses their breakfast and knew that he himself had to eat as well, to keep his strength up, but the very idea of food made his stomach turn.

The only substance that every fibre of his being seemed to crave at the moment was to be united with Bran again.

Sickening waves of worry washed over him, making his head spin.

Moire was rubbing her massive, dark head against his shoulder and made a disapproving noise, as if she wanted to know why he seemed so keen on wasting so much time.

''I know girl, we will leave shortly. We _will_ find them, I promise you,'' he hushed.

It was strange to be in the camp without the usual chatter and noise that the other men and the wolves made.

The quiet was discerning and weirdly deafening.

He drank some water from the creek, realizing that he hadn't drank anything all night and washed his face quickly. He filled the water skins sloppily, spilling some of the content over his hands.

It was another dreary gray day and the clouds told him that it would definitely rain soon.

The wind was howling in his ears, sending uncontrollable shivers up and down his spine. Somehow it was always windy north of the wall.

When he had gathered himself back together he packed their supplies and strapped them onto the horses backs.

The last thing he did was putting the fire out, something that Bran usually did every morning. He glanced absent minded at the whirlwind of smoke that dwindled up into the air, evaporating into nothing.

He felt his eyes water at the sense of sheer loss but sniffed loud, ignoring his upcoming tears.

This was hardly the time for sadness, not when their lives were on the line. Moire hang her head over his shoulder, rubbing him friendly, clearly sensing his heavy heart.

He patted her gently, leaning backwards for a moment, his face buried in the warmth and comfort of her long neck.

It helped, surprisingly. He felt a little stronger afterward, a bit more comforted.

''Thank you darling, now let's get ready to move huh, I'm going to need all four of you if I have any hope of finding them,'' he told the horses, who stared ludicrous at him.

''I need all of you to follow me, seeing how I'll have to track them down. I won't have time to hold you on a leash. So I need you to stay close and not run off, all right?'' he mumbled, picturing Bran's amused face when he saw him trying to talk some sense into his horse Adair, who _never_ listened to anyone but Bran.

Adair, true to form, gave him an unimpressed glance and raised his head high, already defiant. Adair had never been particularly fond of Otter and he knew it would be a challenge to get him to come along with him.

Caeden and Donall were the gullible ones, both equally beautiful and kind.

Their white coat had been besmeared with mud, turning them a shade darker.

Otter loved Donall, he had rode him for years now and he was dependable, strong but tenderhearted.

Caeden, Cristiano's horse was easy to handle as well, resembling Donall so much that Leo sometimes couldn't see the difference. Otter _knew_ though, Donall was slightly taller and had one blue eye and one green one.

He stared intently at Adair, who was still standing there, resembling one of the countless immovable statues in uncle Aquila's villa.

Looking as arrogantly as Bran could be whenever he wanted to display his authority.

Otter moved toward the brown stallion, extending his hand out to pet him. He ignored the chill that wanted to creep over his arm, if he showed any weakness or hesitation, Adair would bite.

He could not falter now.

He placed his hand on top of Adair's warm forehead, stroking it.

Adair hissed at him, baring his teeth as Otter knew he would, but he refused to flinch. ''Adair, I know that you don't like me very much, but I need your help. Bran is missing and I have to go and find him.  
Therefore I need you to follow behind me and to stay out of the way and specifically _not_ run off. Can you do that for me?''

The proud horse stared at him, intently. His look undefinable.

Then he blinked and leaned into Otter's touch, allowing him to stroke his neck.

Otter tried to ignore his stuntedness. Well that was definitely a first. 

''Thank you Adair,'' he whispered, as he placed a kiss to his warm side.

Bran had always argued that his horse was the smartest one of the pack, but Otter had always debated that Donall was the clever one.

Now he had to reconsider his argument, for Adair seemed to understand exactly what he was trying to do.

Not that he would ever admit that to Bran, he refused to forfeit an argument if he didn't have to.

A bit of healthy competition was the key to their successful, long lasting relationship.

Arguing was their form of foreplay.

He crouched down at the muddy soil and stared at the three pair of footsteps that led into the woods. ''All right, come on guys, we're moving,'' he said as he followed the steps further into the forest.

The horses followed close behind him, Adair on the front, naturally, because some things were not meant to change. Moire was walking besides him.

Donall and Caeden stepped behind them, surveying their surroundings closely. They looked awfully skittish. 

Otter knew that he was taking a huge risk, if something spooked the horses they would run off and he could lose them forever.

But he couldn't afford it to divert his time between tracking and leading the horses on by their reins.

It made the chance of him missing a footstep or a sign almost inevitable. As much as Otter loved all the horses-well apart from Adair-he cared a lot more for Bran, Leo and Cris.

They were his absolute priority.

His trained eyes noticed instantly which footsteps were whose.

Leo's feet were the smallest and his steps were light as a feather, barely leaving a print in the mud.

Cristiano's were slightly limped, due to his injury, but much heavier, leaving a deep impression in the soil.

Bran's were steady but solid.

They delved the furthest into the earth, making him the easiest one to track.

All of Otter's senses were heightened.

His hearing was peeked, his eyes were desperately trying to gain as much information as they could and his nose was searching for the familiar musky scent of Bran or the smell of wet dogs.

He had been searching for nearly an hour when a faint cry startled him.

Leading the horses into the direction he stepped into an open space of the woods, were the trees were missing.

That was where they found Maeve.

Otter's heart sank into his chest, as he felt bile rising up in his throat. Gods, she looked _horrific_.

More dead than alive.

Blood was smeared all over her broken body, her left paw hopelessly trapped into the iron jaws of the trap.

When she saw Otter she let out a low squeal, indicating that she was clearly glad to see a friendly face.  

He crouched down at her frail body and stroked her back. ''Oh my baby girl, what have they done to you,'' he rasped. 

Maeve cried out at him but licked his hand nonetheless. She was _dying_. He knew she was. The light was already leaving her. 

Someone had stabbed her multiple times in her side before they had took off. Bloody damned cowards.

Who would do that to a little wolf that was already trapped and beaten down.

He wanted to kill and torture whoever it was that had hurt her like that, but unfortunately he couldn't.

They were long gone by now. When he would find those bastards, he would kill them for this. Slowly and painfully, taking his time in tearing them apart.

His skillful hands worked on the trap, unhooking it carefully.

The jaws opened with a horrible sounding snap and he slowly pulled Maeve free, tugging her down on his lap.

She had matured so much over the past few months and he had grown really attached to the she wolf.

Seeing the life diminishing out of her broke his heart.

Maeve licked his hand lovingly, in such a delicate manner that it made his eyes water.

There was nothing more that he could do for her, no words of solace he could offer to ease her pain.

There was only one thing left he could do.  
And that was to put her out of her misery. It would be an act of _mercy_.

To send her off to a world were there was no more pain, no more misery.

A world of light and love, one where she would be safe. Cared for.

''All dogs will eventually meet the gods, for they are their most loyal servants,'' his father had once told him and Cristiano when their old, trusty dog named Mars, had died when Cris had been very young. Maybe three years old at the time. 

Otter had held Cris until his eyes had dried, mumbling soothing words into his ears.

Not that it helped.

Cristiano had been so attached to Mars that losing him broke something inside of the young boy.

Afterward he refused to get close to their new dog, Gaia, a loyal, sweet little thing that followed Otter everywhere he went. Cris had persistently ignored her, though Otter could tell that he was really aching for the love of another dog.

But he did not want to get hurt again, for the loss followed him around everywhere he went.

''Where are your brothers darling? Hm? I was certain they would be with you,'' Otter hummed, as he stroked her fur lovingly, wiping some of the blood from her snout.

Bran and Conor's absence was strange.

Had whoever had taken Bran, Leo and Cris, also abducted the wolves?

 _Why_ would they do so? That did not make much sense.

By now, Otter was convinced that someone had brutally taken his family.

The scattered leafs and bloody parts of hair on the dirt were clear signs of a struggle.

Not to mention the strange footsteps in the mud, they told him a whole story on their own. Some tribe had used Maeve as bait to lure them out there.

His partner and their little brothers had walked right into the trap.

That much was as plain as day.  
But whoever it was that had done so, were long gone by now. Otter could do little for them at the time being.

So for now, he chose to focus his attentions back to the dying wolf that was curled up in his lap, wheezing desperately for air as her lungs gave up on her.

He did not want her to feel alone.

So he stayed with her, knowing that she was going to die without her family with her.

That was his worst nightmare, to die without his loved ones surrounding him.

Suddenly he truly missed his father and a distinctive memory entered his mind.

He saw himself sitting in his father's stables, the day after his _''mother''_ had thrown a party for a few rich Roman families.

She had purposely left Otter out of it, giving him some random task at the stables. She specifically forbade him to make an appearance, for he was not her son, nor would he ever be.

She did not want anyone to think that she had taken a filthy barbarian under her wings.

That would seriously dent her impeccable Roman reputation.

So Otter had obeyed her, knowing better than to go against her wishes and had cowered out in the stables, sitting in the straw with his dog Gaia on his lap, carving a small bear out of a piece of wood.

A gift for little Cristiano's name day.

His father had entered the barn, standing in the doorway carrying a crisp white toga. ''I brought you some decent clothes. Well, what are you waiting for son? The party is long underway now, dinner is nearly being served,''

''But father, _she_ forbade me to attend, and I think she is right. I should not be there. I am not your true born son. I'm no Roman, nor will I ever be. I'm just a barbarian,'' Otter protested.

His father crouched down at his feet and took his hand into his own, placing the bear down in the straw, studying it closely.

''That is excellent work Otter, you are truly improving on your carving skills,'' he complimented and Otter blushed despite himself.

He had always been difficult with accepting kindness and compliments. So he lowered his eyes. ''Thank you father, it is a gift for Cris,''

''He will love it,'' His father's fingers curled around his wrist and his grip was taught as ever, his eyes shining determined. ''Now listen to me. Life is all about choices my son, left or right, fight or flight. Light or dark.  
The paths we willingly  _choose_ are the ones that define who we truly are.  
I choose to believe that you are precisely where you are suppose to be.  
You are my son, perhaps not according to something as irrelevant as blood, but through our own free choice.  
Because I _chose_ you to be my child. You chose me as your father. For me there is no higher honor than that. To be willingly chosen to raise you as my own. You are a man of honor Otter.  
A loving, supportive older brother to little Cristiano who admires you so much. You are a good, humble son to me. And you are going to that party because I want you to be there. As _my_ child. That is my right, as _your_ father. So stop your sulking and change into your toga.  
Do not worry about mother, I will speak with her. She had no right to deny my eldest son access to his own house. Come along now,''

His father had helped change him into his toga and led him to the feast, where mother had been seething at him that he had the audacity to bring him along.

But father did not care about her opinions. He had only married her out of obligation. Because she was a suitable match. There was no love there. That was normal for most Roman marriages. 

Little Cris, who had been three at the time, had raced over to him to jump in his arms, bombarding him with questions as to where he had been.

Otter had never forgotten that night, the one where his father had proudly told the arrogant Roman families that had attended the party that he was his son.

He had never felt so wanted, so loved. Cristiano had not left his lap all night, finally falling asleep with his head buried against Otter's shoulder.

The sight of it had melted his heart.

And now his younger brother was missing. His baby brother. The one who he had held through the dark nights whenever he had a nightmare, the one who had always had the power to make him smile, even on his darkest day.

Little Cris, the better part of him was missing. 

Perhaps gone forever. He could be lying dead in a ditch somewhere along the road.

The sheer panic that ate away at Otter at the thought of losing his little brother ate at his soul, devouring him whole.

He had loved Cristiano so much, ever since he was a baby. He _refused_ to lose him.

All of them. He _would_ find them, even if he had to search for years, even if the tracks took him to the front gate of the underworld itself.

He was going to bring his family home.

That was his job, as an older brother. To take care of his own.

Otter had always missed his father ever since the day he had died, but he doubted if he had ever longed for him as much as he did today.  
He felt so alone.

If his father had been here, he could have helped him through all of this, he would have calmed him down.

Assuring him that everything would be all right.

Right now there was nobody to speak to except for the animals and they couldn't talk back.

He was alone in the dark.

Lonely for the first time in years, seeing how Bran had always been at his side. His heart ached at the thought of his partner and he quickly forced himself to think about something else, for any thoughts of Bran would destroy him.

The darkness would endure for a while longer, seeing how it was his heartbreaking task to put Maeve out of her misery.

How had it come to this? He hated being the executioner, no matter the circumstances. He may have looked dangerous and murderous but deep down, he was anything but a stone cold killer.

Otter was a lot more gentle than most people realized. Despite his hard demeanor and brutish looks.

When he looked at her trusting, sweet eyes, he broke completely.

Hot and heavy tears streamed down his cold cheeks as he gathered her closely and buried his face in her bloody fur. He felt the blood sticking to his beard, but he ignored it. Snot drooped out of his nose.

He sniffed in a poor attempt to regain his composure. ''I _cannot_ do it Maeve, I can't. W-why-does-it-have-to-be-me-''

She stared calmly at him and licked his fingers, as if she was assuring him that it was the right thing to do.

That it was a _kindness_ to put her down. She wanted it to be over.

His hands were trembling when he pulled a dagger out of its sheathe.

The dagger had been his father's, he had given it to him on the last name day they had celebrated together.

Otter had refused it initially, stating that a family heirloom like that should go to his rightful son, therefore not him, but his father had merely smiled and told him to stop fretting and accept the gift.

Otter had seldom used it since he received it. He merely used it for his carvings.

He thought it would be fitting to put Maeve out of her world of pain with it. Somehow it made him feel as if his father would be close by, supporting him through this. As if he was not so alone.

As he leaned in to kiss her head multiple times, he heard the little wolf murmuring appreciatively at him. She surveyed him closely, nudging her cold nose against the palm of his hand.

''I love you little one, I am so sorry that I was not here to protect you. The gods will keep you safe from now on. Farewell my sweet, darling Maeve,'' he choked out. Maeve sighed once, never breaking the eye contact with Otter.

He refused to look away from her when he slid the knife into her chest.

She cried out once, howling so intense, so heartbreakingly loud, that Otter would remember it until the day he died, but finally stilled in his arms as he felt the last steady breaths of life evading her broken body.

Her body was slowly going up and down now, her eyes fluttering closed.

Otter collected her tighter into his arms as he cried like he had when his former dogs had died. It had always broken his heart when he lost them, but this-doing it himself-was something he could probably never forgive himself for.

Not even if it had been an act of mercy, a kindness. It would have been cruel to let her suffer needlessly for hours more to come. Otter rationally knew all of this. But he loved Maeve.

They had all loved her. She had been all that was good in the world.

And now she was hovering on the edge of death. Soon she would be with the gods, who would honor her and keep her. _Always_.

But for Otter there would be no words of solitude, no comfort that could make his heart feel less heavy. Nothing that would make him feel less like a murderer.  
Why did the gods had to be this cruel?

Why couldn't they have kept her safe? How dared they take her away from them.

How would little Bran and Conor fare without her? She had been the unmistakable glue to hold them together.

Without her they would fight a lot more. If they were even still alive. Otter had no idea where they had gone.

Maeve sighed once more and stilled then, her eyes rolling back into her head as she exhaled one final time.  
She was gone.

Otter felt it as if he had experienced the knife through his own heart instead of hers. He already felt lonely with her dead.

He had to burn her, scatter her ashes into the strong east wind to make certain that she would reach the gods.

So he gently pulled her body off of his lap and built a small pyre.

The horses were standing nearby, looking impassive. Otter had nearly forgotten about them.

Moire stepped forward toward Maeve and slid her lips over the cub's bloody fur.

The gesture moved Otter, making his bones shake. How animals could love so unconditionally never seized to amaze him.

Moire had never been particularly fond of the cubs, but over the past few months she had learned to trust them and perhaps even care for them.

Otter rose to his feet, feeling drained in his energy from all the emotions and hauled his arms around Moire's neck, hugging her tight as his tears kept on streaming like a river down to the sea.

She made him feel a bit warmer, as if he was still loved despite of what he had just done to Maeve. For that he would always be grateful to Leo's horse.

He released her reluctantly and lifted Maeve in his arms.

She was quite heavy, seeing how she had nearly been close to being fully grown and laid her down on the wood.

Then he smashed two rocks together, creating a little flame.

He lit the pyre silently and watched the flames reaching up for the wolf, swallowing her whole.

The horses were standing by quietly, but Otter refused to let go of Moire's support. He needed her. Now more than ever.

Just when Maeve had vanished, turning into a pile of ashes, the rain came in, washing over him, drenching him completely. It felt strangely liberating.  
His father had always said that the gods were in the rain.

Perhaps this was their way of telling him that Maeve had found her way home.

That she was safe now.

Nearby an owl screeched.

Otter wiped his tears away with his drenched sleeve, inhaling deep. ''You are home now sweetheart. I will find your brothers. I _swear_ that to you. We will never forget about you. Be in peace,''

He thought of Leo, how he was ever going to tell him about Maeve's death, knowing how much she had meant to him. It was so utterly sad, that Maeve had to die in his arms, without the comfort of her brothers to help her along her way.

Without Leo's loving arms.

She had deserved better than that.

But life wasn't about getting what you deserved, you simply got what you got. Nothing was ever fair.

His father had always said that in the end, everybody died alone.

Otter gathered a bit of ashes from the pyre and placed it in a small satchel, so he could give it to Leo when he found him.

Then he gathered himself back together and focused on his task ahead of him: finding his family.

Suddenly a howl erupted from the gathering darkness. Otter would recognize that howl anywhere.

Little Bran was close by...

 

 

 

 

 

 

_TBC........._

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Noooo, what did I do to my sweet Maeve. God that broke my heart. 
> 
> I've never been a dog person, but the family I'm living with now has a dog and I've grown to love her immediately, so I can relate to someone's pain over losing one now.
> 
> Oh I wanted to talk a bit about Cub, Cristiano's wolf that he rescued when he was younger. In this chapter I write that when Cris and Otter's dog died, something broke inside of Cris. He never wanted to get close to another dog again. When Otter left his household, Cris met Cub and decided to save him. Allowing himself to once again get a 'dog'  
> So that is why Otter thinks that Cris never got another dog, for in his memories, he didn't. He just doesn't know about Cub's existence, for he wasn't there. I hope that makes sense. 
> 
> What do you guys think? Are Bran and Conor still alive? I hope you guys liked this chapter, despite the fact that it was so sad. 
> 
> BTW, writing Otter is still one of my favorite things to do. I love him so much. I also wanted to include some more of his memories with his father. 
> 
> Please let me know what you think. <3


	38. Descending into the dark.

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Bran wakes up and finds himself in a whole new level of trouble. 
> 
>    
> He also meets a new friend.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Sorry for taking ages to update this you guys. 
> 
> I have to warn you: there is mild rape in this chapter, although I'm not describing it literally. I found a way around that. There's also blood and gore in this one. So tread lightly if that's not your thing. 
> 
> Also, I'm including some new characters in the story. Mostly because we're finally exploring the Seal people's village and I know they kept slaves. So this is the perfect time to include some more players. If there are any players you like to see, let me know and I'll try to put them in this story.

_Bran_.

 

 

 

Bran's head was pounding mercilessly when he finally regained consciousness after he felt like he had slept for an age.

Someone had taken it upon themselves to throw a bucket of ice-cold water over his face to awake him.  
His skin was dripping with droplets of water combined with cold sweat.

His one remaining arm was tied upward, shoved tight above his head.

The arm felt as dead as the rest of his system, the limb clearly deprived of healthy blood flow due to his restraints.

Bran's waist and legs were firmly tied against a wooden pole with another shackle made of cold iron.

His captors had stripped him down to his bare chest, leaving only his breeches on. He was barefooted and stubbornly refused the urge to surrender to his shivers.

He would not show weakness. _Never_.

Whoever was coming for him, whatever form of torture they would use on him, he would not cringe for them.

He would rather die this instant.

Where were Cris and Leo?

Were they even still alive? How about the little wolves?

Maeve had been in a lot of trouble when they had found her, looking more dead than alive. Bran genuinely hoped they would be fine, for he worried for Leo without Maeve. He knew how much he loved her. 

Mostly out of desperation he did something he had not done in years: he _prayed_ for help.

Begged to their gods that he had not lost them all.

That they were alive and waiting for him close by.

He was in a hut of sorts, that much he could tell by the construction of the structure. He heard the sounds of the ocean waves crashing onto rocks nearby.

Hundreds of seagulls were creating a deafening symphony of noise as they scavenged the cost for fish.

The Seal people had taken them, it was the only logical explanation for his surroundings.  

Blind panic erupted in Bran's chest.

They were exactly where they had wanted to go, but getting captured had not been his master plan. Being there without Otter hadn't been an option either. 

If the eagle was to be found, it was _here_ , in this wretched village. The place where Otter was born and cast out by his own blood.

Discarded as if he was nothing.

Bran already hated being there with every fibre of his being. Mostly solely on principle for what they had done to his partner.

The village smelled like a combination between death, blood and the imminent saltiness of the sea.

Blood was smeared across the walls, skulls of various animals and humans dangled like totems from the ceiling and the cries of hungry dogs nearby made Bran's heart sink in his stomach.

They were going to die here unless Otter would find a way to rescue them. Die or suffer a fate much, _much_ worse.

For they had all heard the stories of the Seal people taking pleasure in torturing their prisoners, cutting off their limbs one by one, until they turned completely insane.

Corrupting them in such a cruel manner that their captives could no longer remember who they were or where they had come from.

That would not be his fate. He would rather die then to forget about Otter and the new life he had created for himself.

Nobody would take that away from him. He would not let them.

A strangled cry died on his lips when he tried to untangle himself from his shackles. The iron gnawed at his skin, eating him whole. Rivers of blood streamed down his waist as a result.

But he would not scream. For anyone.  
Only Otter was ever allowed to make him scream when they were making love.

Whomever had so brutally awoken him was gone now, surprisingly. Had slithered back into the camp without Bran seeing him or her.

He hung there for a long time before his enemies finally presented themselves to him.

Two painted warriors of the Clan stepped inside, covered in mud and boney armor. They were carrying heavy spears in their hands.

''Where are the other two prisoners?'' Bran hissed at them in Gaelic, cursing inward at how frail his voice was sounding.

If he were one of those warriors, he would have thought that he was a weakling.

Not only a useless cripple but soft as cheese too. The thought made his insides turn to ice. 

''Alive,'' the younger of the two men said briskly, his tone indicating that Cris and Leo meant nothing to him.

''I want to see them,''

''We do not _care_ about your wishes,'' the second said harshly, hitting Bran in the stomach with the blunt bottom of his spear.

Bran clenched his jaw, only conceding a small grimace at the waves of pain that erupted through his abdomen.

Pain was only _temporary_ , it always faded-eventually.

His father had taught him that lesson when he was training him as a child. If he gave into the pain however, it would last forever. Consume him.

''What do you _want_ from me?'' he asked. He was quite familiar with torture techniques and he knew that it was important to keep them talking, to distract them from the unpleasantries they had in store for him.

''You are our slave, like the other two. We _use_ our slaves,'' one of them explained. His grin would have been terrifying to a lesser man than Bran.

Nonetheless, Bran felt himself swallow hard.

He was going to get raped, multiple times. The prospect was not exactly appealing.

But at that time, his concern was not for his own safety, it was for Leo and Cris.

Leo had already been _'used'_ by the Romans for years and Bran felt unsure whether he would be able to survive a second round of the same humiliation and abuse.

It was burning on his lips to shout at them that if they dared to touch Leo or Cris, they were dead men, but alas he could not do so.

For if he did, he would reveal his weakness and they would be free to exploit that to punish him.

They would kill and torture them in front of him, just to increase his suffering.

So instead he raised his dark eyes to meet them and stared at them with a ferocity that he saved for his worst enemies. ''Have at it, you _won't_ scare me,'' he sneered proudly.

One of the men nudged the other in the side. ''See, I told you that he was the best choice. He's the strongest one,''

Ah yes, that was why they had chosen Bran to be their personal prostitute. Bran represented strength and leadership.

Two qualities this Clan valued above anything else. Otter had taught him that.

At the thought of Otter, Bran felt an iron fist clenching around his heart.

He knew his partner would be sick with worry after losing them and would not rest until he had found them.

It had only been a while but every moment that Bran was not with Otter, it felt like a piece of himself was missing.

The older of the men circled Bran like he was hunting a prey, crawling up behind him, tearing his breeches down his legs.

If only they released the shackle around his waist, Bran might have a chance to fight his way free, he thought for a split second.

He was well trained and could wriggle his way out of conundrums that most people couldn't.

The eldest man pressed a knife to his throat that was so sharp that Bran felt a little stream of blood roll down his sternum. ''If you try to escape or fight us off, we will kill the other two,'' he warned Bran.

''I won't do anything stupid,'' Bran replied, meaning every word. He could not afford anything like that with Cris and Leo at the mercy of an entire murderous village.

''Good, that means you're smarter than you look,''

The warriors untied him from the pole and told him to get down on his hands and knees.

Which was incredibly hard to do when you only had one working arm that happened to be dead from dangling up there for so long.

As the feeling slowly returned to his arm in the most painful manner, he gritted his teeth together to prevent himself from crying out.

It was like a thousand needles were being stung into his nerves, tormenting him until he saw stars. He tried to breath through the pain but found himself panting and wheezing before he could stop himself.

Bran's left arm was shaking uncontrollably as he desperately tried not to fall face down in the mud.

Luckily he had always been strong, especially his upper body, otherwise he would have tumbled face forward into the soil right around now.

He felt bare and exposed, crouching there naked, caged like a bloody animal.

When the first man slipped inside of him without so much of a warning, a cry nearly erupted from his lips.

He could barely contain it, but eventually he succeeded. His willpower was one of his best qualities.

It hurt, especially because the man hadn't bothered to wet his cock.

When he waited for it to be over, he found his thoughts lingering to old memories of him growing up.

He could not allow himself to think about Otter right now, not when he was being _besmirched_ like this. Defiled like some low whore.

So instead, Bran saw himself with Leo, playing hide and seek with the giddy baby in the crib, who's brown eyes followed him everywhere he went.

Leo had loved it when he hid from him, only to pop up at the other side a moment later, giving him a funny face.

It always made Leo giggle in the most adorable manner.

He saw himself teaching Leo how to walk, watching those chubby little legs stumbling forward slowly, and finally the baby collapsing into his arms, exhausted but content that he had made it all the way across the grass to Bran.

Isbeil was singing to him and Leo under their favorite oak tree, while Leo slept in her lap and Bran was carving toys out of wood.

His younger brother Conor told him a story about the numerous adventures of their gods while they were out riding their horses.

He was so caught up in his own memories that he had barely noticed that the first man had been replaced by the second.

He did not hear the disheartening grunts, or the muffled moans that indicated that his captors were having a wonderful time with him.

Bran forced them out of his thoughts, until their voices died and were being replaced by lovelier ones.

So instead he heard his sister's beautiful singing voice, the heartfelt laughter of his baby brother when he gave him a piggyback ride. Conor's soothing voice when he tended to Bran's injuries after a fight. 

When the men were through, they picked him up from the mud and chained him back to the pole in the same position as they had before.

''Slave!'' one of the men shouted and just when Bran thought that he was talking to him, a dark haired man stepped inside the hut. ''Clean him up,'' the eldest ordered.

The slave nodded obediently and shuffled inside, carrying a bucket of water and a cloth.

The man seemed to be young, not even twenty years if Bran's judgement was correct.

His hair was foul, smeared with mud and all tangled and he had a bushy beard.

There was a chain around his neck and his clothes were gray and muddy.

The eyes were dark brown, their expression slightly cautious and his skin was a similar tone as Cristiano's.

Olive colored. This man was _definitely_ foreign.

Perhaps even Roman if Bran was not mistaken. The young man seemed absolutely terrified of him.

''You do not have to fear me, I will not hurt you,'' Bran said, voice as definitive and comforting as possible.

The youngster exasperated, arching a slightly proud eyebrow. ''I am _not_ afraid,''

That was an interesting accent, Bran thought to himself. Not Roman, but he was definitely not from around here.

''You have a fascinating accent. Where are you from?''

''Carthage,'' the boy murmured as he chewed on his lower lip.

Bran searched his memory for the place sounded familiar.  
Hadn't Otter told him stories about Carthage once? ''Doesn't that lie across the sea?''

He received a guarded look for his unwanted prying. ''It does,''

The questions of how he got there were burning on Bran's lips but he sensed that the boy would not answer them yet, he had to be patient.

Which was not exactly a quality that he had ever learned to master. ''Hmm interesting, what is your name? Unless you prefer it that I call you slave,''

''I'm Sami,''

''Good to meet you Sami, my name is Bran,''

''Did they-how do you say it-hit you in your head when they rape you?'' Sami asked, struggling with the Gaelic language.

''No, why do you ask me that?''

''You did not scream, _everybody_ screams,''  
''Not me,''

''Yes I noticed, but why not? You were not in pain? They live to make us feel it,''

''I was in pain, but I am a highly trained warrior Sami, I prefer not to display any form of weakness,''

Sami seemed impressed by that.

His eyes turned large and his jaw faltered. ''You are too strong, they will do this again. Strength only makes them hungry,''

Bran's expression hardened. ''I do not care,''

Sami gave him an unbelieving glance. ''You lie,''

Bran grinned slightly.

Sami's blunt honesty reminded him of Leo could be when he had a stubborn streak. ''Maybe, but how can you know that I was not screaming?''

''They made me watch outside the hut, they love to torment me-especially me. They _hate_ me,''

''Why?''

Sami shut his eyes, swallowing thickly. ''I cannot tell you,''

''Did you see the other two men that they brought in when they captured me? Are they all right?''

Sami gave him a stiff nod. ''Yes, I saw them. They are being held in the slave-hut. We will look after them, there are many of us in there,''

Bran felt a huge breath of air being released from his lungs.

His relief had never been more intense. They were alive. They were _fine_.

''You care for them,'' Sami noted, a hint of curiosity in his sultry voice.

''They are the only family I have left, I would die for them,''

''I understand,'' Sami retorted solemnly, that sad look on his face again.

''Can you give them a message from me?''

Sami conveyed him slowly, looking guarded again. ''Of course,''

''Tell them that I'm all right, that they don't have to worry about me. Do not tell them about me being raped, that will only upset them, especially Leo, the smaller one.  
Let them know that I'm trying to get them out of here, and that I love them,'' Bran said.

He felt a lump forming in his throat as he desperately swallowed his upcoming tears away.

''There is _no_ _escape_ from this place, believe me, we have tried over the past few years. It is not possible,'' Sami told him.

''There is always hope Sami, always a weakness in any well functioning system. I _will_ find it, I assure you. I've been captured before and always managed to escape. Once I do, I will take you and the other prisoners with me,''

Sami shook his head miserably and dipped his cloth into the bucket of water, sighing. ''I was like you once, long ago.  
_Strong_. Lot's of willpower. A chosen warrior of my proud people.  
Full of hope and optimism that escaping would be an option. You will come to accept your new life in a while, although it may take you a lot longer than it does for most of us,''

Bran was unsure how to respond to that. Besides, he no longer trusted his own voice not to break when he spoke again.

Sami seemed to pick up on that and leaned upward with his cloth, bringing it close to his face. ''I'm going to clean some of the blood and dirt off your body now all right? Will you let me?''

Bran nodded curt, knowing he had to speak to reassure the young man. ''I _won't_ hurt you,''

Sami eyed him again, those dark eyes beaming with hesitation. ''Gods boy, I won't bite or anything. Calm down,'' Bran blurted out, feeling a bit offended at Sami's fear of him.

A moment later he felt like absolute crap for not realizing what horrors this boy had been through that made him so utterly afraid of anyone around him.

Sami did not trust him, but after his ordeals, Bran could hardly blame him.

''I am sorry,'' he offered quickly, when he saw Sami's eyes tear up. ''I did not mean it that harsh. I would _never_ hurt you, I realize that I might look quite frightening but my partner would tell you that I am harmless enough,''

Sami shuffled closer and pressed the stone cold cloth to his cheek, making Bran quiver, despite his attempts not to. ''You are married?'' he asked curiously.

''Not exactly,'' Bran grinned, ''I have a male partner, whom I love with all my heart,''  
''Oh, I see,''

''You don't disapprove?''

Sami shrugged. ''In my country, such things are not considered to be abnormal, although we are _obligated_ to wed women. Where is he now? Your partner?''

Bran felt his stomach sink. ''I don't know. When your Clan captured us, he was tending to the horses. He will come for us though, that much I do know.  
He would search for us until the farthest corners of the earth if he had to. He will come, he has to,''

Sami crouched down to damp the cloth again and placed it gently to his temple, pressing it down tightly to make the bleeding stop. ''I hope he does not come here, for if he does, he will end up like us, or worse,''

''He knows how to find this village, he was born here, long ago,'' Bran was not even certain why he told Sami this.

Perhaps he just trusted the boy. He had something about him that made him feel like he could tell him anything.

''He should stay away. This place is _death_. Only misery and pain await anyone who enters here a prisoner,'' Sami said, as he moved his attention to Bran's arm, cleaning the cuts and bruises in a soothing, slow manner.

He tended his horrid stump carefully, never once asking Bran how he had lost his arm, which spoke highly of his character.

When he reached Bran's lower back, he halted for a moment, clearly unsure whether he was allowed to clean the blood off Bran's anus.

Bran knew he had to let him, considering the fact that an infection would be inevitable if he neglected to do so.

''It's all right, it has to be done,'' Bran assured him.

Sami took a deep breath and blushed, clearly just as embarrassed by the prospect of cleaning his private parts as Bran was to allow him in that region of himself that he usually saved for Otter.

His warm hands did a quick but thorough job and before Bran knew it, he was done, stepping backward quickly. ''All done,'' Sami said, as he threw the dirty cloth back into the water, causing waves on the surface.

Bran felt the cold sea wind gushing through the hut, collapsing unmercifully with his naked body.

He needed some clothes before he would freeze to death.

''I need clothes,'' he let Sami know when he had finally completed his dirty task.

Sami hesitated. ''I cannot bring them to you, they will beat me. They said nothing of clothes. If I dress you-''

''If you do not, I will _die_ from the cold. We both know that,'' Bran countered.

''I cannot, please...''

Bran did not want to force the boy into anything that might get him in trouble again, but this was about his own survival. He had to find some clothes.

''Please Sami-do not let me die in this shithole,''

Sami sighed. ''All right, I will try to find you some clothes,''

''Thank you, truly, you might have just saved my life,''

Sami nodded briefly and left the hut abrupt.

After a short silence, he returned, carrying what appeared to be a horse blanket in his arms.

The thing smelled like crap and was slightly moist, but Bran would have to take whatever he could get.

''I'm sorry, this was all I could safely find and get to you,'' he said as he hung the rough fabric over Bran's shoulders, covering as much of his large body with it as he could.

''It's fine, thank you for this,'' Bran said, feeling his teeth stop clattering at the comfort of the blanket.

Sami fed him some water from a wooden cup and handed him some dried fish, that he slid into Bran's mouth without much of a warning. ''You need to eat, to keep your strength. Drink some more,'' he ordered sternly when Bran finished the fish.

He had never particularly cared for the taste of fish, nor the bones that always lingered between his teeth, but he could not afford to be picky about his food in his current position.

Bran drank three more cups of water from Sami's steady hands and relished at how it made his dry throat ease. ''Thank you, I had not realized how thirsty I was,''

''You're welcome, try to get some rest now if you can. I will do whatever lies in my power to take care of your family, you have my word,'' Sami vowed, stoically.

Bran felt a smile appear in his lips. ''You have my gratitude Sami, you are an honorable man,''

Sami shrugged callously. ''I do what I can Bran, though it often is not enough. I must leave now, I will return soon,''

He laid a hand on Bran's shoulder and squeezed it to comfort him. Surprisingly, it worked.

''Thank you, for everything,'' Bran whispered.

Sami gave him a kind glance. ''We take care of each other here, when we can,'' with those words he left Bran alone.

When he was finally alone, Bran felt the exhaustion of the day wash through his system.

He fell asleep with his head pressed against his left bicep.

 

A few yards away from Bran's tent, just moments before Sami could enter the slave-hut, he saw Bran's family members being led out of there. Hands bound behind their backs.

Spears pointed at their faces.

He did something reckless for once and decided to follow them, supported by the cover of the darkness...

 

 

 

 

 

_TBC....._

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So, did you guys like Sami in this chapter? I did. 
> 
> He's one of my favorite players and I wanted to give him some more love. He's going to be awesome.  
> Any ideas on his background story yet? 
> 
> I hope the rape wasn't too bad, I tried to describe that as mild as possible. With this chapter I wanted to show Bran's innate, inner strength and why he is such a great leader. I hope I pulled that off. 
> 
> Let me know what you think guys, opinions and kudos keep me going forward! <3


	39. And hell followed with him.

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Leo wakes up in his new surroundings and tries to adapt to his new life. Without Cristiano.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So first of all, Merry Christmas to you all!! I hope you have great days! This is a short chapter again, due to time problems. But I wanted to introduce some new characters to this story so this is a bit of a filler. This happened before the end of the last chapter.

_Leo_.

 

 

 

The first thing that Leo registered when his eyes slid open, was the absence of Maeve's dire screams. Someone had lured them into a trap, using his sweet cub as bait.  
But Maeve was not here with him any longer, wherever he was.

The stinging saltiness of the wind told him that they were near the ocean. He heard gulls calling out nearby. There was dark sand sticking to his fingers. Blood was plastered against the side of his head.

He felt as if he had drank too much red wine after a long night at home with Cristiano. That was the first time he realized that he truly considered the Aquila's estate as his home. He had never had a place to call home since he had left his Clan. Suddenly he felt incredibly homesick to Calleva.

He missed Stephanos, the light hearted cook and Cris' kind uncle who held him in such high regard. 

His gaze darted to his right and was met by a set of icy blue eyes that studied him cautiously. Leo tried his best not to jump up startled, but the squeaky gasp that left his lips betrayed him.

The man who was seated close to him had a big bushy, foul blonde beard and similar half long hair that danced on his shoulders.

He wore a metal slave chain around his neck. When he saw Leo coming to his senses, he came forward and fed him some water from a small wooden cup.

He even supported Leo's head by curling a freezing hand around his neck muscles, making Leo cringe. He _never_ liked to be touched by random strangers that had not even introduced themselves to him yet.

However, his throat was so dry that he had little choice. He needed to stay hydrated or he would die.

Where were Cristiano and Bran? Where they with him or had they died during the ambush? And what about Otter, _sweet_ , caring Otter. Would he be searching for them, driving mad with worry?

The man hummed content as Leo drank greedily and lifted his chin to examine the skin near his upper neck. ''You are no Roman,'' the stranger concluded with a thick accent of Gaelic, ''no chin strap scar,''

Leo stared at the man's neck and nodded. ''But _you_ are,'' he said in Latin with a tight expression to the man's markings.

''You speak our language, why?'' the man asked curiously, clearly happy to continue in his own mother tongue for a change. ''I was a slave to several Roman families for years,'' Leo explained.

''And now you are a slave once again,''

Leo shivered, unwilling to believe it. The gods wouldn't be so _cruel_ would they? Hadn't he endured enough suffering at the hands of his Roman masters for one lifetime? Would he truly be cursed by being a slave to his _own_ countrymen now?

He took a deep breath and steadied himself, nearly hearing Bran's voice telling him to calm down, for a conflicted, clouded mind could not make rational, smart decisions.

The key to survival was to use your head, not your heart. ''If you say so. Now if I may ask: where are we?''

The man shrugged nonchalant. ''No one can say exactly, but our best guess is the most northern tip of Britannia. Close to the ocean though, you can hear it as much as the scent of it persistently lingers in the air. Bastards blindfolded us when they took us hostage,''

''Where are the other two men that came in with me?'' Leo wanted to know. They _had_ to be all right, he would die if anything happened to Cris and his brother.

The man dipped a cloth into a bucket of water and offered it to Leo, gesturing to the blood on his temple. ''The pretty Roman one is in a tent close by being cleaned up by our closest friends. The big brutish one however is _lost_. You cannot get to him, they have him now. Best to forget about him. Love is your weakness here, a dangerous disadvantage,''

Leo felt his skin turn to ice, not only due to the coldness of the cloth, but thanks to the Roman's brutal honesty. He wished that he hadn't asked it.

The truth was seldom easy on the ears. ''I will _not_ forget about him! There surely has to be a way to get him out of there?''

''There is no way, trust me. We have tried _everything_. They have some of my friends as well,''

''Well he is my last brother and I'm going to get him back, even if it kills me! I owe everything to him. He is my family,'' Leo persisted stubbornly.

The man smiled sadly and stroked his cheek with his calloused hands. Two of them had the tips missing and all of them were devoid of fingernails.

It was a surprisingly tender gesture that took Leo completely by surprise. Then again, Bran and Otter could be like that too, they may seemed dangerous and brutish but the only thing bigger than the size of their muscles was the size of their hearts. ''You remind me of my son back home, he was strong willed like you as well. He always got what he wanted from me, one way or another. I will never see him again,'' he sighed, tears shimmering in his eyes. He sniffed loud, forcing them away. ''My name is Daniele de Rossi, former Legionnaire of the twelfth legion,'' he said proudly as he offered Leo his hand.

Leo grabbed it by its broadly muscled forearm and held on tight. This was the regular way that Roman soldiers greeted one another and he could tell that the gesture took Daniele by complete surprise. ''I am Leo,'' He thought that it would be best to keep his family name to himself.

The Brigantes legacy was infamous around these paths. The people in this village would surely know of his father and brothers. He had to keep that a secret.

However, once they would see his and Bran's tattoos they would know the truth for they were defining to his Clan. He worried for Bran, what would happen if anyone recognized him for who he was? Eldest son and heir to their Clan.

''It is good to meet you Leo, although I would have preferred to meet under better circumstances,'' Daniele said solemnly. He even smiled at Leo, which softened him tremendously.

All of the hardness seemed to evaporate from the Roman's eyes. Leo felt the corners of his lips twitch up in a response. ''Yes I agree with that,''

The tent flap opened and another man stepped inside, looking equally filthy and emaciated like Daniele. He was carrying two buckets filled with dead fish in his hands.  
This man moved with the same level of indisputable authority as Bran and Leo did not hesitate that this was the man who used to be in charge of Daniele's legion.

He had lighter blonde hair and similar steely, confident eyes like Daniele. They looked a lot alike, in a strange way.

He wore foul and muddy clothes but had a certain natural beauty to his features that enchanted Leo for a split second.

''Oh good, he is awake. I was starting to get concerned for him,'' he said to Daniele, who lowered his head, but had a fierce look in his eyes that told Leo that he was furious. ''Yes, he is fine. But are you absolutely insane? Stealing fish from them! What is the matter with you! They will _kill_ you for this!!!''

The older man rolled his eyes at Daniele, clearly agitated. ''Gods below, calm yourself little brother. Nobody saw me take them, I am not completely insane. These fish are from the net we set near the north cape. I swear on Jupiter's stone that nobody will find out about it,''

''Oh but of course, and yet people call _me_ the reckless one. If only they knew what a giant disaster you really are! Juno's cunt! I could strangle you!''

''Do not forget who you are speaking to. I still happen to outrank you,'' the other man chided. He instantly managed to silence Daniele, who reluctantly pursed his lips together. ''That said, you are quite welcome my sweet, _darling_ brother. Would you prefer it that I let them starve you to death? I am trying to keep you alive you ungrateful shit,''

''Is he really? Your brother?'' Leo intervened, unable to hold his curiosity in check. If Cris were here he would tell him to learn to stay silent for once in his bloody life. But he was not here, something that ached at Leo's heart.

The newcomer narrowed his eyes and crouched at Leo's feet. ''You speak our language with only a mild form of accent. That is very impressive. And yes, Daniele is my younger half brother. We share the same mother. My name is Francesco Totti. Former Centurion of the twelfth legion.  
My brother Daniele and I shipwrecked on these wretched shores years ago, many of our friends drowning in the process. But we lived, despite all the odds, only to become slaves to the cruelest people in the world. They are suppose to be our _vassals_. Barbarian scum,'' he spat with a fury that made Leo shiver.

''I shall try not to take offense in that considering my own heritage,'' Leo grinned, ''so how many of you are still here?''

''About fourteen seasoned soldiers, and some civilians that they took captive. A few women and children. But unfortunately most of them died during the winter, due to starvation and the cold. Only the strongest and most resourceful of us are left now. I tried desperately to keep them alive, praying to the gods for guidance but alas-I failed,'' Francesco said sadly, sighing deep.

Daniele took ahold of his hand and clenched it tight. ''Desist that now,'' he hushed, ''you did the best you could, they knew that. We are burdened by our humanity brother. If only we were gods, we could have saved them, but we are not. We are merely imperfect creatures. We feel too much, we die, but we do have one advantage over the gods. We can love like no other living being on this earth. Try to find solace in that, if you can,''

Francesco rewarded his brother with a watery smile and a brief embrace. ''I don't _deserve_ such a brother,'' Leo heard him whisper it in Daniele's ear. He did not mean to blatantly eavesdrop but it happened nonetheless.

The tent opened again and a small dark haired boy stepped inside, tugging a familiar face with him. Cristiano was stumbling in, looking aghast, pale and miserable. But he was alive, that was something at least. ''Leo!'' he exclaimed when he saw him as tears welled up in his dark eyes. ''Oh thank the gods that you are alive!''

Leo had not even realized that he had stood up to run toward his lover. But when Cristiano's solid body collided with his own, he was finally alive once again. He could breathe properly now. He felt Cris' beating pulse hammering under his touches, telling him that he was alive and well.

He could not speak yet, he could merely cry as the tight and familiar embrace swallowed him whole. ''Are you all right? Did they harm you?'' Cris wanted to know, voice more prudent than ever.

Leo felt his jaw being cupped and his eyes raised upward to meet Cristiano's. ''I'm fine,'' he eventually managed to choke out.

''Oh thank the gods, I was terrified,'' Cris kissed his lips hard and insistent, right in front of the other three men, clearly not caring what they would think of it. Leo was so entranced in the urgency of the kiss that he forgot where he was, he no longer remembered the other Romans standing so close by. He could barely recall his own name.

All that existed was them. After all, life was defined by a series of moments. And in those moments you were free.

When one of the bystanders scraped their throats loudly, Leo reluctantly broke the kiss, blushing flustered. ''Well, that was...certainly interesting,'' the dark haired boy grinned at Daniele and Francesco.

''Flo, mind your own business,'' Francesco rasped sternly. The boy pursed his lips together immediately, obeying the command without resistance. ''Introduce yourself _properly_ as I've taught you,'' Francesco ordered.

''My name is Alessandro Florenzi, but everybody calls me Flo around here. I am pleased to meet you,'' the young scrawny man said. Leo guessed that they were about the same age, in their early twenties, but he could be wrong.

Flo had lean arms and legs but clear, sharp brown eyes that told Leo that he was not to be underestimated. This was a highly clever boy.

''That is better,'' Francesco murmured content. ''Now if you two need anything, please ask Flo to retrieve it for you. He is so wonderfully sly that he could cheat Mercury himself,''

Leo exasperated deep. ''Would fetching my brother be too much to ask of you?''

''Your brother?'' Florenzi asked confused.

''The other man who was brought in, Daniele told me that they took him and that we cannot get him back,'' Leo explained. To his left, Cris shifted uncomfortable. ''They have him?'' he whispered, panting nervously. Leo nodded stiffly.

''Ah yes, the big one, looked a bit- _uncivilized_. Yes-uhm unfortunately, the princes have him in custody. He cannot escape, nor is there any way that we can reach him. I am sorry,''

''Well we must try it regardless of the danger, we can go if you do not want to risk your necks,'' Cristiano chimed in. Leo felt a whole new level of love for his lover erupting in his soul. That Cris cared so much for Bran's safety meant everything to him.

''I do not think you understand the direness of your current predicament gentlemen,'' Francesco lectured.

''Perhaps not, but what if it were Daniele? What if they took _your_ own brother? Would you not move this earth to get him back?'' Leo asked, determined to get his point across.

Francesco conceded a look that resembled a man who was being eaten alive inside of himself. Leo could have sworn he saw a tear in the corner of his eye.  
But it was gone before he could be certain. ''It was my brother once, long ago. They took him from me. To punish me for stealing some fish to feed the children,'' Francesco's voice was barely more than a whisper in the rural sea wind.

Daniele took his hand, caressing it gentle, but Leo saw the anguish and past pain on the brothers faces. They touched each other in a way that was typical for brothers. Familiar and effortless. With an ease that was defining to family. It made Leo miss Bran even more, only adding to his growing fear for his safety.

''But how did he escape then? That means that there is a way to break free,'' Cristiano said, unable to contain the hopefulness in his voice. His beautiful eyes were even shimmering already. Hope was set free in his heart.

Daniele spoke this time, voice deep but amiable. ''Sami saved us, by the skin of his teeth. However we swore to never repeat that story, for it hurts us too much to tell.  
All that matters is that he can not do it once again without them killing him. And we _cannot_ risk him, we owe everything we have today to his resourcefulness,''

''Who is Sami?'' Leo wanted to know.

''You will meet him soon, for he is never far away from us. Sami is different, _special_. He watches over his own. In a way he is our leader, despite the fact that he is very young still,''

''I thought you were the leader, being a former Centurion after all,'' Leo said to Francesco.

''Well I prefer to be his second in command. When he is not around, I am in charge,''

''You said that the princes have my brother, who are they? Tell me all you know about them if you do not mind,''

Francesco sat down at the crackling hearth in the middle of the hut and busied his hands by gutting the fish, cleaning them with military precision and binding them on wooden sticks to roast them over the flames.

Daniele and Flo helped him silently. ''Well their names are Wolf and Seagull. A set of brothers who are cruel like their father, who considers himself to be the king of the Seal people.  
They shamelessly enjoy raping the slave women and men frequently and torturing us is always on their mind. Our missing fingernails are just the beginning of our parade of scars. There is only one of us who they are forced to leave alone. Sami. They would not dare to torment him psychically,''

Leo frowned. ''Why not?''

''They believe that a powerful spell rests upon him. A form of ancient magic that has followed Sami all the way from his homeland. That if they touch him, they will be cursed forever. So they keep him a prisoner and hurt us a bit extra, just because they want to hurt him in the only way they know how. Through us. Sami genuinely cares for our safety and does whatever lies in his abilities to help us. He is good. These people are merely superstitious idiots. There is no curse, no old magic. Flo made it up to keep him safe. And unsurprisingly, it worked. He could give Odysseus a run for his coin if he wanted to,'' Francesco grinned, looking at Florenzi like a proud father.

''I am impressed Flo, so tell us all you know about the camp's defenses,'' Cristiano said, scooting a bit closer to Flo, giving him a hand with the fish.

''Well there is not much to tell honestly, they mostly let us wander around freely, though there are certain prohibited area's that we cannot enter. Some of us have tried to escape over the past few years, but none came very far. They were dead before they knew it. These people are the best hunters I have ever seen. Even if you manage to slip past the guards, they will come after you.  
With dogs. They run faster than any human I have ever seen. You will never make it, especially not with that leg of yours. Meaning no offense but I took notice of your limb when we walked over here,'' Flo said to him, looking stoic.

''Indeed. You are quite right, my leg is a problem. I guess we will have to figure out another way to get ourselves out of here then,''

Daniele exasperated. ''We were like you, in the beginning. Hopeful that there was a way out. There is not. Hope is a _dangerous_ thing to hold onto in this place. It is contagious and destructive. It's best to let go of it now, accept your new life. We will help you survive, make you adapt to this fate. We take care of our own,''

''I am not doing anything until I have seen my brother, nor am I ever going to give up on escaping. I did not survive years of slavery, losing my entire family and suffering through wars to die in this miserably place. That will not be my fate. We will break free, I vow that to you,'' Leo hissed, feeling the fire of hope flickering in his chest.

He would never go down without a fight. That was not in his nature. He had overcame too much to give up now. Besides, what would Bran think of him if he would reveal himself to be a coward? Brigantes did not flee from a fight.

Cris wrapped his arm around Leo's waist and hauled him in closer, kissing his hair. ''If Bran could see you in this moment he would be very proud of you,'' he murmured in Leo's ear.

Leo shivered and shut his eyes, hoping to stay strong but his tears were stinging in his eyes like daggers. He released one tear but swallowed the other one away.

''Thank you,'' he said in Gaelic as he buried his head against Cristiano's chest. The tunic was slightly moist and smelled like old sweat and blood but Leo could care less.

He needed Cristiano close to him. He was all he had left now. ''Otter will come for us, you know he will,'' Cris ensured Leo. ''I know, but I am worried about him returning to this village, what if they know who he is and kill him? I cannot bear it to lose both of our brothers,''

''We will not lose them. There is a way out of this mess, we merely have to find it,'' Cris said, feigning an optimism that Leo desperately needed to keep confidence in escaping.

Two of their captors stepped inside the tent, carrying long tipped spears. They had an ill favored look on their faces and Leo immediately knew that they were in trouble.  
''Come with us,'' they ordered harshly.

Leo stared briefly at Daniele who gave him a curt nod, indicating that they had to go along with them. There was no choice.  
Cristiano clenched onto Leo's hand, laced their fingers together and gave him a willful glance.

It was his typical way of saying that he would not let anything happen to Leo, that he would have his back. _Always_. That Leo was loved and coveted and that as long as Cristiano lived, he would never be lonely or abandoned.

As they stepped out of the tent together, Leo pressed his lips against their conjoined hands when the guards were not looking.

And for that sweet shard of a moment, they were completely free.

 

 

 

 

 

 

_TBC....._

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So I hope this was okay. I love Totti and De Rossi so I wanted to include them. Also more Italian players will make an appearance, which seems fitting considering how they are from Rome. 
> 
> Happy holidays guys, let me know what you think of it!


	40. The choice.

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Leo and Cris meet the village's terrible princes. 
> 
> They are even worse than advertised.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I'm sorry for vanishing for so long you guys. Life got in the way in numerous ways. Lots of moving back and forth, but I'm finally back in my own country now, which was not what I wanted but oh well, sometimes life kicks your ass a bit. I finally had inspiration to continue this story. 
> 
> Hope this chapter is okay, I'm not really sure about it.  
> If you like it, please drop me a note, that means a lot to me. 
> 
> Oh btw, the character called Wolf is Diego Costa and Seagull is Luis Suarez. They are the infamous bad guys in my story.

_Cristiano._

 

 

 

Cristiano was holding onto Leo's hand for dear life during the short walk through the village. It was cold and lifeless as it usually was and yet the pressure offered him some much needed comfort, eased his growing fear on what was about to happen to them.  
He knew that with their capture their chances at survival had decreased rapidly.

The trained soldier within himself was already observing the village, searching for any weaknesses in their defenses, any entrances or exits where they could make a run for it, but he came up empty handed. There was no escape, so it seemed.

The painted warriors of the Seal people were some of the best trained men in the world. They did not know weakness or mercy and killed anything in their path. The tribe seemed very primal to Cristiano. There were human skulls dangling on ropes from all the tents, like totems or perhaps they were considered prizes they had won when they killed their enemies.

The people were slender but strong and the women spend most of the day catching fish in the sea and working on the meals. Children were running around everywhere, some of them parrying with wooden swords or spears.   
What the men did, he could not know, for he saw very few men wandering around. The strongest hunters were probably off catching prey, he thought.

Their captors dropped them off in a big tent, one at the pointy tip of the cliff. They shoved them inside, bowed to the two painted men standing in front of them and left.

Leo's hand was quivering in his and Cris could feel his lover's senses heightening.

He could not blame Leo, for the two men who stood there could only be described as absolutely terrifying.

And Cristiano was not easily scared by anyone with all the hardships he had endured.  
The sheer difference between his previous foes and this one was that the men standing in front of him seemed to be completely devoid of any emotions. 

Their eyes were darker than a moonless night, cold and lifeless. When Cris looked into them he saw _nothing,_  just a giant gaping hole of emptiness and a predatory glint that resembled a raven picking at its prey.

Leo let go of his hand, which was probably the smartest thing to do in their current predicament.

 _''You,''_ one of the man pointed at Leo, ''come here,''

Cristiano flinched and used all his willpower to resist the urge to haul Leo backward protectively and offer to go in his stead.  
Their love would be their weakness here. Something these men would use against them if they could. Leo did not hesitate at all and boldly took four steps forward, halting mere inches away from the men.

The taller of the two circled him like a wolf did with its prey before he killed it, studying Leo's features closely. Sniffing at his hair and skin. Cristiano felt bile rising to his stomach.

The man clasped onto Leo's arm, baring the skin of his bicep and snickered happily when he saw the blue tattoo. ''Just like I thought, do you see brother? I was right,''

The other man rolled his eyes. ''Yes, yes, no need to gloat. Well looks like we have another Brigantes in our midst.  
Surprisingly, you are not the first one we have met today. _Shocking_ isn't it? And here we thought that your tribe was completely wiped out by the Romans.  
Looks like a few of you slipped through the mazes of the net so to say.  
My name is Seagull and this is my brother Wolf. This is our father's village, you are our slaves. You will be treated _accordingly_.  
During the day you will help the other slaves with their tasks, and at night...well let's just say that we have an acquired taste for all sorts of pleasures. Would you like us to reveal to you who we are going to play with later tonight?''

Cristiano resisted the urge to shake his head. Leo did not move either. ''Come with us and we'll show you,'' Wolf said cheerfully, as he buried his strong hand into the muscles or Cris' shoulder, forcing him to comply.

They walked toward another tent and what they found inside was nearly too horrid to register. Bran was bound to a pole, his one good hand above his head. He was slightly bleeding from his abdomen, his temple and his feet and he looked more worn out and helpless than Cris had ever seen him.

It was a very unsettling sight, to see their strongest warrior, their indisputable leader looking more dead than alive.  
Bran was unconscious, which was probably for the best, considering his state.

To his side, Leo froze in his steps. Cristiano acted quickly, he stumbled over his own feet to distract Wolf and Seagull from Leo's shock. Focus their attention back at him so they would miss Leo's response to the sight of his brother.

It was crucial that the princes remained in the dark about Leo and Bran being family. If they knew, they would exploit it.  
''I take it _you_ know this man?'' Seagull asked Leo, who instantly shook his head. ''I don't,''

''A lie of course. You two were captured together and wear tattoos that tell us that you originate from the same tribe. A little advice little _whore_ , don't lie to us! For because you did, he's the one who is going to pay for your mistake,'' Seagull hissed with a nod to Bran.

Wolf stepped toward Bran, pulled out a dagger and slid it across Bran's inner left thigh. It happened so fast that Cristiano barely registered what happened, Leo however did and groaned loud, resisting the urge to shout out in agony.

The blood streamed out of Bran's leg like a little river, waking him up in the process. Wolf had missed his artery, for if he had cut that Bran would have died in moments. He did not want that to happen, he wanted Bran to suffer. Wanted Leo to feel the result of his mistake.  
Bran blinked a couple of times before he opened his brown eyes. He was panting rapidly, but he did not scream, as Cris knew he wouldn't. He was far too strong for that.

When Bran saw them standing in front of him, relief flooded in his eyes and he exhaled deep. Leo was struggling against his tears but when he saw Bran slightly shaking his head, he swallowed them away. ''I will ask you again you little insect: do you know this man?'' Wolf grumbled.

''Yes, I know him!'' Leo admitted quickly.

''Good, finally a truth. Is he your family?''

Leo hesitated for a moment, unsure whether to answer truthfully or lie again, which could have disastrous consequences for his brother. ''Yes, he is my cousin,'' Leo said promptly. There was no lie or hesitation in his voice and Cris begged to the gods that the men believed him.

Seagull pressed his own dagger against Bran's throat, creating droplets of blood on the silver blade. ''Is he really? I do _not_ believe you. Would you like me to slid his throat to punish you for lying to us again?''

''No! Please don't!'' Leo begged desperately.

''Then tell us the truth! He is clearly not your cousin, so what is he to you?''

''He's my _brother_ all right! My brother, I swear,''

Seagull grinned at Wolf. ''Hush slave, we believe you. Told you I was right. Let's have some fun shall we? Now, my little whore, I understand that this one is your lover and here we have your big brother, am I right?''

Leo conceded a nod. ''Yes,''

''Good, now tell us something. Life as you know, is all about _choices_. Fight or flight, night or day, live or die.  
We are giving you the rare opportunity to make an actual choice for once. It will probably be the last one you will get as you are still our captive. So tell us, which one of them is making it out of this tent alive and which one isn't?'' Seagull asked, pointing at Cristiano and Bran.

Cris felt all the air leaving his lungs. This was not what he had expected to happen at all. Them being raped yes, getting beaten to a pulp, sure, but Leo having to decide their fate came like a complete shock. They should have never revealed their relationship to the brothers.

Walking around with joined hands had been an enormous mistake. Cristiano felt like kicking himself for his own carelessness.

Leo paled immediately and shook his head furiously. ''N-no,'' he stammered, ''you cannot force me to make that choice. I would rather die _myself_ then see one of them be killed. If you have to kill someone, just kill me. But please don't hurt my brother or my partner,''

''No, that is not going to happen. Over my dead body,'' Bran intervened strictly, his eyes dark and half lidded. ''Leo listen to me now, I am _not_ going to allow you two to sacrifice yourselves for the likes of me. Protecting you is my _job_ -remember?  
You have to choose me, I do not mind dying, in fact if I have to stay in this shit-hole for the rest of my life I rather prefer to be put out of my misery right now. It's all right little one, I'm offering you a way out. So that you do not have to choose,''

Leo shivered and shook his head furiously. ''I can't Bran, I can't. You cannot ask me to kill my own brother! The blood of my blood. I need you more than you will ever know,''

Bran smiled gently at him. ''I know you do, but right now, you need Cristiano more than me. He will take care of you when I'm gone, won't he?'' he turned to Cris, who couldn't speak if he wanted to. He could only nod, for if he spoke, he was afraid he would burst out in tears.

This was too much, forcing Leo to do this was beyond cruel, especially after all he had gone through to find Bran again. And what about poor Otter? What would they tell him if they would ever meet him again?  
That his partner was gone to save them? Otter would forgive them for it, that was certain but Cris was not convinced that they would ever be able to forgive themselves for killing the man who had given his arm to defend them. To defend him.

''Leo?'' Bran demanded Leo's full attention. Leo turned to him, waiting. ''I got this. _My brother,_ _my_ _responsibility_ ,''

''What are you talking about?'' Leo asked confounded.

''Mother said that to me the day you were born. She told me that after the births of all our other siblings. When Isbeil was born she said: your sister, your responsibility. When you came into the world she repeated those words. Meaning that it was my birthright to be your protector. To always keep all of you safe. You were my baby brother, therefore your safety was my responsibility. My prerogative.  
I will always gladly give my own life if it saves my little brother. Because that is _my_ job, to take care of you. And I love it, I wouldn't change it for the world.  
Some of the best parts of my life were keeping you and our other siblings safe at my own expense. You can do this little one, because I've raised you to be strong.  
Do not concern yourself with how Otter will react to this, he knows me better than anyone and would never blame you for my self sacrifice.  
It's all right, _truly_. Just say the words and I'll be free. I will have fulfilled my destiny.  
Deep down I have always known that someday I was going to die for one of my siblings. I'm very grateful that I get to save you. You were always my favorite. I love you Leo, that is the only truth in my life,'' Bran said solemnly, as hot tears leaked from his eyes.

Cristiano was crying too, as was Leo.

''I cannot do this Bran, not to you. Please don't make me do this-'' Leo wailed.

''Come here,'' Bran commanded. Leo looked at their captures for permission and surprisingly received two nods. Cris figured that they did that on purpose, to enhance Leo's suffering.

Saying goodbye to someone was ten times harder when you actually got to hold that person in your arms one final time. Those cruel bastards, he thought furiously. He would make them pay for this, one way or another.

Leo fell into Bran's arms and held his brother tight, burying his face in the nook of his shoulder. Bran couldn't hug him back, due to his constraints, but his head delved deep into Leo's thick strains of hair. ''Shhh it's all right, I am going to see our family again. Cris will take care of you now,'' he whispered in Leo's ear.

Cristiano overheard it seeing how he stood close by and lowered his head to Bran, vowing to always keep Leo safe.  
He was suddenly overwhelmed by a tremendous amount of guilt.

This was all _his_ bloody fault. If he hadn't been so keen on recapturing that damned eagle, none of this would have happened.

They would have been home, in the villa, enjoying a late night meal with not a care in the world besides him listening to that awful flute that Otter used to play on.  
His family honor was going to kill Leo's brother. He should be the one who died today, considering that it was him who brought them all in mortal danger.  
Bran had already given his arm to keep Cristiano safe.

Was he truly going to repay him by letting him get killed on his behalf?

No, he could not abide this. He would never be able to live with himself if he did. And Leo, he would wake up one day, maybe years from now, maybe months and decide that Cris was the one who had killed his big brother.

Cristiano was guilty of placing them all in danger. He should be the only candidate for an execution. Besides, what would his brother say if he found out he had let someone die for him? Otter would be devastated if he lost Bran. The more Cris thought about it, the more clear it became in his head that he could not let Bran go through with this. Leo was making the wrong decision.

''Wait Leo, I cannot let you do this,'' Cris said before he could stop himself. Leo turned to face him and frowned. ''What are you talking about?''

''I'm going to die today, for it was my recklessness that got us so far away from home in the first place. I'm the reason that Bran lost his arm, I'm the cause for all our suffering. My family honor was more important to me than everyone's safety. This isn't right. You saving me and condemning your brother to this barbaric fate.  
This was _my_ choice, I will be the one who pays for it. Nobody else. I can't let anyone die for me,'' Cristiano decided.

Leo's pupils dilated and Cris could sense the panic coursing through his lover's veins. ''No! Cris, don't do this to me. Please..''  
''I have no choice Leo, if I love you, I have to do this,''

Bran coughed to make an end to their debate. ''Stop that shit! I won't let you do this Cris. I did not give my arm for you to die in this cesspool. You are going to live and take care of my brother and my partner for me, you owe me that-''

Wolf exasperated deep and threw his dagger deep in the piece of pole just between Bran's spread feet to gain everyone's attention. ''Enough! I'm bored. Pick one and get it over with. This was fun to watch at first but now it is just getting a bit _pathetic_. Pick one boy, or we will,''

Leo was looking more conflicted and indecisive than Cristiano had ever seen him. He was not certain that Leo would be able to do this. To condemn one of them to their death. He was gnawing on his lower lip anxiously but the rest of his body seemed to be frozen in terror.

''Leo, just do it, it's quite all right, I promise you,'' Bran swore, but despite his strong words Cris heard the tremble in his voice.

He knew Leo had heard it too for his lover shook his head furiously. Cris clasped onto Leo's stone cold hand and pulled him a bit closer to his body, cradling him against his chest. ''You know that this is on me, rationally you must realize that it is my time of dying. Save your brother, you must do this for my brother. Otter needs him,''

''But I need you Cris-''  
''I know, however-''

''Tell us _now_ boy, your brother or your lover! Fail to choose within the next five seconds and I'll kill them both right in front of you. And I'm a man of my word,'' Wolf interjected as he placed the blade onto Bran's throat once again. ''Five, four, three-'' he counted.

Leo urgently grabbed ahold of Cris and plastered their lips together for a desperate, heartfelt kiss that felt like a farewell. ''I love you,'' Leo whispered in his ear. ''Love you too Leo,'' Cris retorted as he pressed a last soft kiss to Leo's forehead. Leo had made his choice.

He was going to save Bran. Cristiano felt surprisingly at peace with that decision. At least it was fair. 

''-two, one. Time's up, give us a name slave. We won't ask you again. And we don't make idle threats,'' Seagull warned, his fingers tightening around the hilt of his dagger.

''All-all right,'' Leo's voice was breaking along with the rest of him. He was quivering uncontrollably, his skin turning slightly green due to his nausea.  
''So who will you safe?'' Wolf wanted to know.

Leo opened his mouth to reply, when the tent flap suddenly opened and Florenzi stepped inside. ''Forgive the intrusion my lords but something has happened that you must know about,''

''Not now you idiotic boy! Can't you see we're in the middle of something!'' Seagull snarled aggravated.  
''Yes and while I must ask your forgiveness but this cannot wait I'm afraid,''

''Our _forgiveness_? Must we remind you once again that we lack any understanding of that word?''  
''No my lord, but if you would let me speak-''

''Get out of our sight! NOW!!!''

''But my lords, your father is dead,'' Florenzi said, voice sounding quite monotone. The effect of his words however was anything but emotionless. The brothers turned toward him immediately, clearly dumbfounded by the news. Shocked even.

Still, there was little emotion in their eyes, even at the news of their father passing away.

There was more anger than sadness displayed in those barbaric black gems.

''Dead? That can't be, he was fine when we left his tent a while ago,'' Wolf said definitively.  
''That may be so, but he is _definitely_ dead right now,'' Florenzi shrugged.

''How can that be true? Our father is strong as an ox,''

''I do not know how it happened. All I know is that he passed. There was no blood or any signs of a struggle in his tent that would indicate murder or foul play,''

''If you are lying to us we will rip your throat out with our teeth slave, you know this,''

''Well I suppose it's lucky for me that I'm not lying then. Though you must know that the people are already murmuring amongst themselves as to which of you will be king now that he's gone,'' Florenzi said, a triumphant grin dancing on his lips.

Both of the brothers scoffed simultaneously. ''Me of course,'' they said in unison. They stared at each other furiously, clearly upset with one another. ''I am technically the eldest brother, therefore the throne is _mine_ by right!'' Wolf spat out.

Seagull snorted. ''As if anyone wants you as their leader! You're as dumb as the rear end of a donkey!''

That started a heated debate, during which Florenzi grinned content at Cris and Leo. That had obviously been his goal, to start a war between the brothers that would distract them from hurting their captives.

''Take us to him,'' Wolf hissed when the argument had died down as quickly as it had erupted. He turned to his captives and gave them a demonic smile. ''I guess this is your lucky day boys, your decision will be delayed for a bit, but do not think that you will get out of making it.  
We just gave you a bit more time to think it through. We still want to hear a name. For now, you will follow Florenzi back to the slave tent and you will remain there under guard until dawn. Is that clear?''

''Yes,'' Leo and Cris nodded.  
''Good, now move!''

Cris and Leo exchanged one more glance with Bran before Florenzi pushed them away from the tent. There was no time to convey any messages to him, or to offer him any words of comfort. But at least they were still alive. It could have been worse.

Cris could have been dead right now, on his way to visit Hades in the underworld.

Leo took ahold of his hand again when they returned to the slave tent. When they stepped inside their fellow slaves looked up to greet them.

One of them, a man they hadn't seen before smiled at them and clasped onto their shoulders. ''I am Sami, we have not been properly introduced yet. Are you all right? We were worried about you,''

Cristiano's jaw dropped. _This_ was Sami? The famous man who protected the group? He was not at all how he imagined him to be like. He was not that tall, looked very skinny and had hollow eyes that told Cris that he had not slept through a night in ages. He did not look like much.

Leo recovered from his shock a bit quicker than Cris and offered the foreigner a small nod. ''Yes we are relatively fine. My name is Leo and this is Cristiano,''

''Ah yes, Leo. He told me about you. Bran I mean. When I tended to his wounds today. He spoke very highly of you. He is your family isn't he?'' Sami asked curiously as he gestured them to sit down by the fire.

''Yes, he is my eldest brother,''

Sami's curious eyes hardened and Cristiano instantly realized that he had completely misjudged the man. He was far stronger than he looked. ''I see, well it gladdens me to know that we could keep all three of you safe a little while longer. Now that the king is finally dead, our time to strike has come,''

''How do you know that the king is dead?'' Cristiano wanted to know.

''Simple: I killed him myself. Though they will never know how I did it,'' Sami said it as if it was child play. Easy. Cris and Leo could only gape at him in awe.

''You killed him? But how?'' Leo asked.

''The king loved to humiliate me, so quite often he let me be his cupbearer, he should have paid more attention to what I poured into his wine this evening. I tainted it with an undetectable poison, finally claiming my revenge on that vile monster.  
I have been waiting for this particular opportunity ever since I arrived in this blasted village. I have carried the vial with me for a very long time, but we were never strong enough to follow through with the plan.  
Now that you three are here we actually have a good chance of escaping.  
You see, with the death of the king, there will be a giant funeral pyre tomorrow evening. All of their warriors will be there, drinking themselves into oblivion. They will be weak and vulnerable for once. This is our chance to kill them all. To finally leave this place.

''They will be so subdued by the alcohol that it should be simple enough to slid their throats while they are asleep. But we have to be cautious, even if we manage to succeed, some of them will still give us a good fight, the princes for instance.  
They drink a lot but somehow never fully get affected by it. We did not have enough warriors for this plan but with you, I believe we can do it. We are tired of being slaves. Even if some of us die during our uprising, it will be worth it, at least then we are free.  
Why else do you think the so called princes wanted you to kill one of your loved ones Leo?  
They want to keep as few strong soldiers here as they can.  
They viewed Bran and Cristiano as their biggest threats and therefore made you choose between them. They have done this before, whenever we grow too much in numbers they tend to thin us out to prevent rebellions.  
However, they won't be able to stop us this time. Tomorrow we will go to war and win our freedom or die trying,'' Sami stated proudly. An uproar arose from the tent.

The people were screaming victoriously. Sami had given them a new hope. A way out of their chains.

Cristiano was not certain how to feel about the upcoming battle. All he knew was that he was ready to fight for the ones he loved. The thought to ask about the location of the eagle did not even enter his mind. He had more important things to worry about right now.

Leo sat down beside him and curled himself up in Cristiano's lap, holding onto him for dear life. Cris kissed him tenderly and told him that everything would be all right.  
And in that moment, Leo believed him.

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

_TBC....._

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> What did you think? 
> 
> Were you all really worried that I would really make them kill Bran or Cris? I was never going to let them be killed, but I do like to freak you guys out. I'm so mean haha. 
> 
> Thank you for reading this and the support! <3


	41. The old king is dead.

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Bran has a nightly visitor.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So I know this is a bit short, but I have no time to write more at the moment, so forgive me the abrupt ending. 
> 
> I hope you liked it. Let me know. 
> 
> No warnings in this one.

_Bran_.

 

 

 

In the midst of the long, icy night, Bran was crudely awoken by the desperate howls of a wolf.

His eyes flew open instantly, for he swore he recognized the sound the animal made. Or perhaps he merely heard what he chose to hear, as so many others before him who had turned hopelessly mad during captivity.

Maybe his mind was playing tricks on him due to sleep depravation, consuming hunger and the stress of the past few hours.

Those sons of bitches had nearly made Leo kill him or Cris. Bran was still trying to recuperate from the shock of it all, but without success.  
Nonetheless the cries of the animal it sounded strangely like his little namesake.

Eerily _familiar_. A second wolf joined in, resembling wee Conor. Bran was more certain of it now. He was definitely not going crazy.

They were here. Otter had somehow defied all the odds that would prevent a normal human being from tracking them all the way here and had once again done the impossible. Bran was convinced that Otter would be able to find him with his eyes closed due to their inexplicable connection.

Hope had returned back into Bran's heart, but he was also feeling quite anxious knowing that they were there. Otter's former people were well equipped to root out a single man in the woods.

They had dogs who could track him and infallible instincts that ensured that somehow, they always got their prey. His tent was being illumined by the nearly full moon, giving him plenty of time to entertain himself in the endless silence of the night by studying the details of his surroundings.

Looking for eventual ways of escaping. He felt extremely tired but at the same time all of his senses were heightened, knowing that Otter was out there searching for him. Perhaps even being hunted at this very moment.

He detected a small ruffle of leaves by his tent, causing him to twist his neck nearly like an owl before he realized that he saw nothing behind him.

His eyes and ears were highly trained, but no matter how good he was at being invisible, Otter was even better at it. Always had been. Probably due to his heritage. People from this village were exceptional hunters. Far above average.

A twig snapped right before the entrance of the tent but no on appeared in sight. Bran was getting rather tired of this game now and grunted loud. ''Who goes there! Show yourself!''

And then he felt it, long before he saw anyone. That warm feeling pooling in his stomach whenever Otter was close by. The hairs on his body rising up, anticipating shivers going over his spine. It was Otter.

His partner stepped inside a moment later, making Bran's jaw dangle open in amazement.

He had infiltrated the camp by looking like one of its warriors. Clever. He had covered himself with grey mud and seal hides for clothing so that he barely looked human but Bran would recognize him anywhere.

He held a spear in his right hand, one he had probably stolen off the warrior who he had killed for his clothing.  
Their eyes met and Bran saw the relief both of them felt being mirrored back at him through Otter's dark gems.

He had half expected Otter to make a light hearted joke, something to defuse the tension but his partner had other plans and had seldom looked more aghast or terrified in all his life.

Otter had been consumed with concern when they had disappeared in the middle of the night, Bran could tell.  
It was showing on the new worry lines that danced over his scarred face.

He saw it in the deep circles under his exhausted eyes. He had not slept since they had been taken. That much was obvious. He could only imagine what it must have been like, to catch up to them and realize that your entire family had been taken.

They stood there, staring at each other for what felt like an eternity, taking in the sight, the relief of the other's existence. Then Otter moved, nearly faster than Bran could register and he flew into his arms, clamping onto him for dear life.

Bran could only stand there, for he was still bound with his one good arm but his face was buried deep against the muscled clavicle of his partner. Otter pulled back after a moment and cut Bran's arm loose, causing it to drop down like a ton of dead weight.  
It would hurt like hell when the blood would return to his limb. Otter cradled his face, studying his eyes carefully before he plastered their lips together into a deep, searing kiss that made Bran's head spin. He tasted like dried mud and tears. Oh how he had missed his big, lovely brute. His protector. 

When Otter finally pulled back, he exasperated loud and sat Bran down on a square rock. ''Are you all right?'' he asked, looking worried.

''Yes, fine. I promise,'' he added when he saw Otter's unbelieving glance. ''Where are the little ones?'' Otter wanted to know.  
''They're keeping them somewhere else, in the slave tent I presume,''

''But they are unharmed?''  
''Yes, as far as I know. They were just here a few hours ago,'' Bran decided not to tell Otter about the choice Leo had been forced to make. No good would come of it.

''Oh thank the gods,'' Otter sighed relieved. ''I've been scouting the camp this entire day before I went in but I never saw any sight of them so I thought-''  
''No, they didn't harm them,''

''And what about you?'' Otter asked sharply with a nod at Bran's abdominal injuries, his blooded inner thigh and slightly bruised up face. ''They did hurt _me_ yes, excellent deduction,'' he groaned dryly.

''Don't be like that please, I've only just got here. Can we save the arguments for a later time?''  
Bran grinned sour. ''Fine, but you need to leave now. I don't want them to discover you,''

''Oh they won't, believe me. They are rather busy at the moment, haven't you noticed? Their old king is dead, the entire tribe is in an uproar.  
Nobody will come here looking for you, trust me, I could simply walk through the camp after killing the scout, without anyone paying attention to me. People were passing me left and right but nobody even looked at me twice. They are murmuring about who is going to be the new king now,''

''Nobody stared at you twice because you were hiding in plain sight you smartass. And by the way: the king, or _your_ _father?_ I know you don't like to acknowledge it, but technically he was your father,''

''Bran I will tell you this once again: my real father died years ago on that battlefield. At my own hand. This man was not my family.  
Those animals he calls his sons are not my brothers. Leo and Cris are. They are family. You are my home. I don't want anything to do with these people.  
They abandoned me, cast me out.  
These monsters are _not_ my family, nor my blood,'' Otter said firmly, blue eyes glistening dangerously. He was using the tone that indicated that an argument would be futile and ill advised. But Bran had always been relentless and stubborn.

''I know how you feel toward them, and you have every right to. But officially they are your blood Otter. Wether you like it or not. Those _'monsters'_ out there _are_ your younger brothers. Nothing can ever undo that,''

Otter sighed and gently smacked the back of Bran's head before he lowered his face and kissed his lips once again. ''I cannot believe that I even missed our ridiculous arguments. That is perhaps the one thing I missed the most when you were gone,''

''Me too,'' Bran grumbled, before he pulled Otter on top of him, kissing him senseless. Gods he had longed for him every moment of every day they had been apart. Without Otter, nothing mattered to him. Nothing could make him smile.  
Bran felt himself getting harder by the second but when Otter's hand reached under his breeches he suddenly halted when his fingers ghosted over the neat line of shallow cuts on his penis. Bran cringed and felt himself grow soft immediately.

Otter's eyes widened as he revealed the bare skin and saw the damage that was done. ''Who did this?'' his voice was barely audible but loaded with fury.  
''I don't want to talk-''

''WHO?!! Tell me!!!'' Otter bellowed. His broad chest was heaving up and down and Bran felt him quivering.

He knew he had to answer. ''The princes did,'' he had nearly said 'your brothers' but that would ensure that he would get smacked in the head for implying any family ties. Otter's face became such a terrifying sight that he could have scared even the gods themselves.

''Did they-rape you?'' Otter asked, though Bran knew a part of him did not want to know the answer. Bran could not speak, for if he did he would shatter into a thousand pieces. This felt like such a betrayal to his partner, to tell him that he had been used by other men, not willingly but still.

Defiled by Otter's own blood. He took ahold of Otter's hand, squeezing it tight before he nodded.

Otter cringed and released him quickly. He grabbed a rock from the mud and threw it with a deafening scream into the mud. He sank to his knees and started crying helplessly. Bran sat in front of him and tugged him in his arms, holding him close. His arm was torturing him as it felt like a thousand needles were being delved into his skin, but he ignored it. Otter was his primary focus now.

He wanted to console him, assure him that he was fine, that they would be all right. But no sound left his lips.  
What could he say that would make a difference to Otter?

His partner had been raped and tormented by his flesh and blood brothers. Was there even a way to come back from that?  
He was not sure but he hoped there was.

''I am sorry-'' Bran heard himself choke out, but Otter silenced him and kissed his cheeks lovingly. ''No Bran, you don't get to do that. You will never have to apologize to me for the fact that this happened. This was not your fault. They are the ones who took advantage of you.  
You did nothing wrong and I do not blame you for anything. I am furious, but my quarrel is not with you, it's with _them_.  
They will die at my hands for this. I promise you that. I will avenge you. Nobody assaults my partner and get's to walk away with his head still on his shoulders. You are mine and I do not share. They will bleed out in front of us before this is all over, that is my pledge to you,''

Bran urged their lips together once more, feeling overwhelmed by his partner's devotion and sheer love. ''I love you so much. Gods I have missed you and worried for you every second we've been apart,''

''I love you too Bran. And I've done plenty of worrying myself too. I had no clue as to where you three had been taken. I only came here because Moire insisted we would come this way. That horse somehow always seems to know exactly where Leo is. It's a bit embarrassing sometimes, to be humiliated by a bloody horse. But when I followed her, I found tracks and followed them here,''

''What did you do with the cubs? I heard them howling a while ago, well two of them at least,''

Otter sighed miserably. ''Yes well Bran and Conor are waiting in the woods nearby. Maeve however, did not make it I'm afraid. She's dead,''

Bran felt tears prickling in his eyes but he forced them down. ''I was afraid of that, she was the bait that lured us into their trap. When we found her, she was stuck. I had hoped they would spare her but apparently that was foolish of me to even consider,''

''Well they did spare her actually, she was still alive when I found her. Barely though. She was already dying.  
I put her out of her misery, with great difficulty but still, I eventually found the strength to-'' Otter swallowed thickly and Bran could nearly feel her warm blood running over his partner's hands. He could see it happening, his sweet, caring partner struggling to steady himself to put the little lady out of her torturous pain. The image of it made him sick.

His heart sank into his stomach. Maeve was gone. Leo would be completely devastated when he found out he lost his most beloved cub.  
How was he suppose to tell him that she was so cruelly taken from his world? ''And the horses?'' he forced himself to ask, if only to divert the subject to something less heavy.

''They're fine, I bound them to some trees. The cubs are guarding them,''  
''I have to say that I'm amazed that you managed to get Adair to go with you,''

''Well it was not exactly easy, I can tell you that. He is much like his annoying rider, likes to give me a hard time just for the fun of it,''  
''Yes you big brute, I missed you as well. Now can we figure out a plan to get all of us out of this cesspool in one piece?''

''Sounds good,''  
''I have to ask this: did you have anything to do with the king's death?''

''No, word on the street is that he was poisoned Bran. Poison is not really my style, if it would have been me who did it, I would have simply cut off his head. Nice and easy,'' Otter grimaced.

''Right, well I realize that this may sound completely insane, but aren't you technically the first in line to claim the throne? As the eldest son?'' Bran asked.

''You're right, that does sound completely insane,'' Otter concluded, eyes widening in horror. ''How can you even think that I would be interested in living with these people again? Besides, they've cast me out, disowned me.  
There is no chance to prove that I am even remotely related to them. I was five when they abandoned me. Hunger and dehydration must have drove you mad love, for this is about the most retarded thing you ever said to me,''

Bran grinned sheepishly. ''Well when you say it like that. But now that you mention it, I am quite famished actually. Do you have anything to eat?''

''Yes, I brought you some dried fish I stole from one of the huts. You need water as well Bran, you're pale as death,'' Otter took the food and water from his satchel and watched Bran munch at it happily for a moment.

''Bran,'' Otter said quietly, and Bran raised an expectant eyebrow. ''There's somebody out there watching us,''  
''What?!''

''Shhh, let me handle this, I got him,'' Otter ordered strictly as his eyes fixated on a figure near the tent. Otter's fingers curled around the hilt of his spear. ''Come here! Now!'' he said in Gaelic, as he waited for the mysterious man to reveal himself.

Otter moved so quickly that Bran barely registered it with the naked eye.

He pressed the tip of his spear against the man's throat and held him tight, his strong hands around the slender shoulders. ''Wait Otter! Don't hurt him. I know him, he's helping us!'' Bran yelled when he had recognized the man as Sami. ''Release him this instant,''

Otter grumbled aggravated and narrowed his dark blue eyes at Sami. ''Is that true boy?''

''It is,'' Sami retorted plainly. He stared wide eyed at Otter and then smiled. ''You must be Bran's partner, he told me many things about you. Though I must confess that I am quite impressed that you managed to infiltrate the camp without anyone noticing that you are out of place here. Perhaps it is because you are not that foreign to this village. You were born here, he told me that. Bran was clearly not lying when he said you were good at what you do,''

Otter turned to Bran with a furious expression on his features. ''You told him?!''

''Not everything, but yes a few things,'' Bran said defensively as he tried not to look to guilty. He placed his hand on Otter's and held him tight. ''Somehow he pulled it out of me like it was nothing all right? He kept me alive Otter, you owe him your allegiance. Without him I would be dead in a ditch right now,''

Otter surveyed Sami closely, studying him intense. ''You are high born aren't you?'' he deduced after a long, heavy silence.

''What makes you say that?'' Bran asked curiously, as he saw the stunned gaze sliding over Sami's face, indicating that Otter once again, had made a correct assumption. Otter grinned at Bran. ''He walks as though he owns the proverbial pavement.  
Haven't you noticed? With his arms behind his back. He is from overseas, clearly, and unlike the other slaves, has no fear in his eyes whatsoever. He is of royal blood. A prince perhaps,''

Sami smiled, obviously in no mood to deny it. ''A prince indeed, as you are,'' he said to Otter. Now it was Otter's turn to be amazed. His jaw faltered and Sami's words carried on like a judge that had rendered his verdict. ''You are the son they cast out years ago are you not?''

''How could you know such a thing?'' Otter asked, gaping.  
''The prophecy-clearly,'' Sami snorted, as if that had been rather obvious.

''Elaborate,'' Bran grumbled. What he heard was not at all what he had expected.

 

 

 

 

_TBC....._

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> What did you think? 
> 
> Any ideas to Sami's prophecy?


	42. And now I am become death. Destroyer of worlds.

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Sami's dangerous plan is forced to be executed a bit earlier than he had anticipated. 
> 
> Otter struggles with his inner demons.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Sorry for disappearing for so long. 
> 
> We are reaching the climax of the story and the battle scenes will follow in the chapter after this one. 
> 
> I wanted to show you what Otter struggles with due to the eternal debate of nature vs nurture. Also, there's a bit of violence in this chapter but it's mild.

_Otter_.

 

 

 

Otter was restless. He was pacing up and down like a caged animal in front of Bran's hut.  
He anxiously peeked inside to make sure his partner was still there and unharmed. Complete and utter nonsense of course, because no one would have the ability to sneak past him unnoticed except for Bran, but still, Otter was feeling overly protective and worried.

Bran-who was still tied up to the pole to avoid suspicions- met his eyes and raised a questioning eyebrow. ''What now?''  
''I absolutely  _hate_ this plan, have I said that before?''

Bran rolled his eyes impatiently and Otter heard a sigh escape his lips. ''Uhmm only about two hundred times, will you calm the fuck down! I'm _fine_ , who in this world aside from me, would be skilled enough to slip past you?''

''Still, I do not like this. What if anyone approaches me and realizes that I'm merely a stranger _posing_ to be a sentry? Once I speak, it's all over,''

''Look, we needed to give Sami some time to mobilize his troops, tonight after the funeral pyre and festivities we attack. I'm not really understanding what the problem is to be honest. We've done things like this multiple times,'' Bran mused, clearly wondering what was going on in Otter's complex mind. Then he suddenly glanced back at him and smiled. ''Oh I see: you're still worried about that prophecy aren't you?''

''How could I _not_ be?'' Otter snapped, voice too unfriendly for his own liking. Sami had told him everything last night.

An old seer that resided in the village had predicted to Sami the return of the king's old, exiled son on the eve of his death. When the eldest would return to the village he would slay the princes and lay the entire village to waist. Burn it to the ground, not sparing the innocent.

''Because I _know_ you and deep down you don't believe in this fairytale either. You would never kill innocent people- _never_. Look at me,'' Bran demanded and Otter complied-reluctantly. He didn't want to hear it, didn't want Bran to boost him up like that.  
The prophecy had brought a lot of old issues to light, things he thought he had buried forever but somehow were now creeping back up from the dark soil to taunt him.

He had always feared, even as a young child that he was inherently evil due to his true parentage. Cristiano's father had always argued that his assumption was false, who you were was not determined by something as silly as blood, it was made by your heart.  
Otter had been raised properly, with good values and morals and therefore would never go down such a dark path.  
And in that time, Otter had firmly believed him.

However now, everything he used to have so much faith in seemed to be crumbling down around him.  
As if the truth came crashing down on him like an earthquake. And deep down, in a place of his heart where he rather never looked, he had always known that he had this darkness roaming inside of him because of his biological father.

A sort of evil, merciless ache in his heart that craved blood, pain of innocents and destruction.  
It was hardly a surprise. Usually he was able to trap that other half of him to a proverbial prison in his mind, but every now and then, his malicious twin escaped and whispered horrible suggestions into his ears until Otter found the strength to silence him and lock him back into his cage.

He had never admitted that to anyone, not even to Bran, but he knew that his partner knew about all his profound fears-somehow. Despite of their lack of mentioning it, just knowing that Bran knew the truth and loved him regardless of it, helped tremendously. It made it so much easier to keep the creature locked away.  
Bran kept him on the right path, now that his father wasn't there to do so. If Bran hadn't been there after his father had died on the battlefield all those years ago, Otter was certain that he would have gone down a dark road.  
His inner demons would have defeated him, taking over control of him until he would no longer recognize himself.

But luckily, he had met Bran and due to him he owed it to himself and their family to be optimistic about his own character. Yes having a prophecy written against you was never good, seers were hardly wrong about anything, but still, Otter and Bran firmly believed that the future was not written in stone.  
That as humans you had free will to change it at any time. Challenge the fates by sheer willpower.

Otter forced himself to have faith in his believe system, but every time he allowed his brain to think, the demon in his mind whispered the opposite into his ear, attempting to corrupt his beliefs. He wanted to cover his ears, but knew that it would be of little use.

''Otter? What is it? What are you so afraid of?'' Bran interjected. Otter was touched by the tentative silkiness of Bran's voice. The love and concern was nearly palpable and it instantly silenced his other half.

He looked around to make certain that there was nobody in sight and stepped into the hut, closing the distance between them and halting in front of Bran, lowering his eyes. ''I'm evil,'' he admitted.

Bran clearly did not understand his ramblings. ''What?!''

''You asked me what I'm afraid of, well I'm terrified that through this village I'm undeniably _evil_ , whether I choose to be or not. That it's just who I am,''

Bran's eyes were beaming with a mixture of disappointment and disbelief. ''How can you even suggest something like this? Evil? _You?_ The man who saves a drowning fly from a puddle of water? The kindest man I know? Don't be ridiculous,''

''But-''

Bran shook his head firmly, eyes nearly burning with determination and ferocity. ''No! No chance in hell. I've known you nearly my entire adult life and you do not have an evil bone in your body,''

''You're sadly mistaken,'' Otter argued, head hanging low. ''Untie me,'' Bran ordered, voice heavy with emotion.  
''I can't, anyone can walk in and catch us, thus ruining the plan,''

''I do not care about that right now, untie me,''

Otter exhaled deep but eventually complied, knowing that arguing with Bran once his mind was made up was utterly futile and a waist of precious time. When he had cut through the rope that held his partner back he found himself hauled into the strong embrace instantly. Bran cradled him tight, using his one good arm and kissed his forehead.

''Now listen to me: I know of this fear you have, I've _always_ known. But you need to desist that nonsense immediately.  
You are a loyal brother to Cristiano, a kind and caring partner and lover to me and you've taken in Leo as if he's your own blood. No malicious person would have ever done such a thing. When I was lying there on the battlefield, half dead and clearly your enemy, you decided to save my life and patch me back together. I owe you _everything_. You took care of me even when you knew I was partly responsible for the demise of your father and his legion.  
Don't you think that I am plagued by similar voices in my head too? After some of my actions I hear that demonic voice inside my head whispering that I'm a bad person as well. We all have light and darkness inside of us love, even Leo and Cris.  
It's the part of ourselves that we choose to act on that define who we are. I need you to silence the suggestions in my mind and your need me to do the same to you. I'm here to keep you on the right path. I will always have your back, no matter what happens.  
But you are not a bad man and you never will be. You cannot think like that. The world isn't made out of good and evil. There's layers and layers consisting of shades of grey that cloud the usual black and white discussion.  
We are students of war Otter, warriors kill people, sometimes even good ones by accident. But I know you, and you are not going to murder every man, woman and child inside this wretched village. You would never have the heart to commit such a crime. That is the only truth I am absolutely certain of. You hear me?'' Bran said as he stroked a persistent lock of hair behind Otter's ear.

A gesture so tender and intimate that it lightened Otter's heavy heart instantly. For a brief moment. 

''I hear you but while I appreciate the kind words, you are forgetting something,''  
''And what is that?''

''What if the princes kill someone I love? You or the little ones for instance?  
Can you assure me that I would not fulfill the seer's prophecy then? Because I can't. That's what has been on my mind lately. I know that I would never slaughter an entire village filled with innocent people over nothing.  
But what if they give me a reason? What if the princes slash Leo and Cris' throats in front of my eyes. I'm sure that I would spare no one if something like that would happen. I have this aching knot in my stomach that tells me that the prophecy will come true, despite of my intentions. What if we lose them?''

''We won't, I _won't_ let that happen,'' Bran said. He had attempted to sound steady but the waver behind his voice betrayed him.  
Otter closed the distance and kissed his lover fiercely.

Bran groaned into his mouth and held onto him for dear life. The kiss felt eerily much like a farewell. It send shivers over Otter's spine. He had a horrible feeling about tonight and it was increasing by the moment.

When he released Bran, leaving both of them breathless he smiled sadly. ''Oh Bran, despite all your cleverness and schemes there is still so much that you will never understand about me, or this place. You still do not get it do you? This is the one place on earth that you can't seize control over no matter how hard you try. You are so used to being in command, to having the upper hand. That counts for nothing here.  
This place consists solely of variables and unpredictability. This is the one village in the world that controls you, that strangles you in your sleep at the very moment when you thought you were finally safe,''

Bran fell silent as the beating of drums and the sounds of singing erupted from the shoreline. The village was occupied with drinking and feasting to the dead king.  
The funeral pyre had been lit. It would be time to attack soon.

''We have to tie you back up, who knows if the princes will come here to claim what does not belong to them again once they're done,'' Otter said grimly, hearing the jealousy drip from his tone.  
Yes it had been utterly hard to digest that his technically biological ''brothers'' had violated Bran. That was the only part of the prophecy that he could not wait to realize: killing the princes.

For that was going to happen. He sensed it within the very core of his existence, with every fibre of his being. He would kill those animals with his bare hands for what they had done to Bran.  
They would pay, one way or the other. Preferably after enduring a long and excruciating amount of torture and humiliation.

Ah, there was the pesky demon child again, sticking up his ugly head, fogging his mind.  
He forced it to go away and concentrated on the problem ahead: surviving the night and getting their brothers out of there safely. Along with as many innocent slaves and villagers as they could find.

It was a good plan, for as far as Otter could tell, however he saw loads of loopholes in how this could all go horribly wrong.  
The plan was not exactly solid and relied on too many variables. As his hands busied themselves with tying his partner back to the pole, the rustling of leafs behind them made both of them look up startled.

Flo appeared in the doorway of the hut, looking aghast and terrified. He had clearly been running like the wind. ''We have a problem, a big one,'' he panted as he tried to catch his rugged breath.

''What is it?'' Bran asked sharply. Otter could feel his own heartbeat thumping behind his ears. This wasn't good, whatever it was. He sensed it.

The young boy was clasping onto his knees breathlessly. He was as pale as a corpse. ''The princes-took Cristiano-from the tent-as a human sacrifice-to please their gods. He will be burned alive once the beating of the drums stops, there is _nothing_ we can do to save him.  
Not while they're still awake. We need the warriors to be subdued for the plan to work,''

Otter felt his insides turn to ice and fury erupting in his bloodstream. ''They are going to _sacrifice_ my little brother?'' he gritted his teeth and ground them together so hard that the echo of the bang was heard through the entire hut.

Flo nodded feverish, regret displayed over his young, childlike face. ''He wouldn't give you up Bran, they forced him to pick either you, Leo or him. He was selfless and selected himself as an offering,''

Bran lowered his eyes defeated but a fire burned within Otter's soul. ''So what are you going to do to get him out of that pyre?''

''Nothing as I said, Sami says that unfortunately, there are no options. We need them unconscious if we want this to work.  
We are simply not strong enough to defeat all of their warriors unless they are drunk and half alive. So Sami says that he regrets his decision but he is not willing to risk his entire revolution for the sake of one man. He wanted me to remind you that much must be risked in war,'' Flo said quietly, as if he wished it would be different too but didn't have the heart to say anything against Sami.

Otter lunged forward and hauled Flo up by his arms, pinning him against the muddy ground. Bran was hissing his name, in a poor attempt to calm him, but Otter was beyond reason. They were going after his family now. That was unforgivable to him. 

He had to remind himself that the poor boy was just the messenger, for he wanted to strangle him with his bare hands for what he had just suggested. ''If you think I am leaving here without my brother you have _massively_ underestimated me. I am not sacrificing my flesh and blood for your little uprising! We will not partake in Sami's war unless he get's my brother out of there safely. Tell him that!''

Flo shook his head wearily. ''I cannot tell him that. He has made up his mind. The ritual is nearly complete, Cristiano is beyond our reach and cannot be saved without risking exposure. Sami said that he is very sorry for your loss but there is nothing we can do,''

''Gods boy, haven't you people ever learned to improvise? What sort of Romans are you? We will create a diversion, that will break the camp into two.  
We start a fire, so the people will be forced to come back to put it out. Meanwhile we lead a small party of two or three seasoned warriors to the shore and get my brother back by killing everyone who dares to stand against us. See? It's not _that_ complicated. Tell Sami that's what I'm going to do, he can choose to help or not.  
I will start that fire and would advise him to let his men stand by for a fight.  
Also, I need someone to come with me that knows how to use a bow and arrow. I need someone to give me some cover,'' Otter was amazed by how quickly his own brain came up with the solution, but then again, he had always been at his best when he was forced to react quickly to survive.

He wished he could take Bran with him but due to his missing arm Bran couldn't fire an arrow ever again.

Flo hesitated briefly but nodded eventually, sensing that there was no chance of dissuading Otter from his path. ''I can use a bow and arrow. Quite well actually,''  
''Good, then you're with me, Bran you need to alert Sami of the change of plans,''

''Otter, are you-'' Bran started but Otter silenced him with a searing kiss as his hands untied his lover quickly. ''I know what I'm doing, trust me all right?''  
''I always do, but I am worried about this, seeing how we don't really have a plan to make it out of here alive,''

''I know, but like I said: this place is one big whirlpool of possibilities. I'll figure it out. I can't leave Cris to a fate like this,''

''No of course not, I wouldn't want you too either. It's just-I don't know, it felt better when we still had a better plan. This will not be easy,'' Bran exhaled.

Otter snorted. ''Nothing is ever truly as easy as it sounds love. Unlike you and Sami's ensemble, I knew that even with the initial plan it would never happen the way they intended it to. Because I am from this place and understand how it works better than they ever will.  
But I choose to have faith, in you and me and our little brothers. We will make it through this night in one piece. I _must_ believe that. For if I don't, there is no point in even pursuing with any plan,''

Bran nodded somber and pulled Otter into one final embrace that was so tight that it nearly knocked the air out of both their lungs.

Those were the best kind of hugs, the ones where you could nearly feel your ribs crumble. ''Where do you want me?'' Bran whispered in Otter's ear. That was definitely a first, Bran actually handing over the reins to Otter for once. Not jumping through hoops to be the one in charge.

''I want you to stay with Sami and fight with his main force. Keep Leo out of harm's way. Make sure that he doesn't do anything stupid like following us to the shoreline to save Cris. Tell him that I'm on it. I'm going to get him back or die trying.  
No matter what happens, he cannot intervene with my plans on the beach. You need to make certain he will obey me in this, otherwise Flo might accidentally shoot him in order to keep me safe. Leo _needs_ to stay here. I won't have his blood on my hands. I'm counting on you to make that happen, despite his colossal stubbornness,''

''I will keep him here, I promise. Good luck. Stay safe,'' Bran assured him as he stared at his painted warrior for a moment before leaning in closely and whispering in his ear that he loved him.

When Bran pulled back, his eyes were damp and more sad and desperate than Otter had ever seen them. ''I love you too,'' he vowed as he slid his favorite dagger in Bran's hand, their fingers brushing together, making his stomach tighten. He tied one of his single axes behind Bran's back.

There was no chance in hell that he would let his partner wander out there without proper protection. Bran could definitely fend for himself but seeing how he was down an arm and hadn't been properly fed in days, he needed all the help he could get.

Otter reluctantly tore his gaze away from Bran. He had to.

He worried if he continued to stare at him that his heart would shatter. ''Flo and I will light the fire near the furthest part of the village, so that we can split the town in half. Create a giant divide between the warriors at the coast and the ones going inland to put the fire out. Also, you should use some mud to cover yourself, to infiltrate even better,''

Flo nodded. ''That is a good idea,''

But Bran was not convinced yet. ''It can be yes, but what if we accidentally kill each other because we can not differentiate friend from foe? I think that one of us who's undercover is risky enough to be honest,''

The beating of the drums slowed down, alerting Flo who's eyes went huge. ''We have to go now, they're slowing down. We only have moments to spare before he will burn,''

''Go! I'll light the fire, there's no time for you to do it!'' Bran exclaimed.  
''Be careful,'' Otter pleaded, as he gave him one last intimate glance before he and Flo left the hut.

They were barely minutes underway when behind them a giant fire erupted, near the edge of the village, where the huts met the tree line.  
''He did it,'' Flo panted, sounding slightly amazed.

''Of course he did it, it's Bran. He doesn't know how to fail,''

Flo quickly lead him further downstream until they reached the sandy beach. The ominous drums had seized and panicked voices erupted from the crowds when the villagers discovered the scent of smoke that resided in the air.

Otter's eyes darted toward the sturdy figure of his little brother, who was indeed tied to a post near the ocean. There was only a handful of people standing close by him, to Otter's relief. The princes however, were nowhere to be seen.

That was particularly odd and gave Otter a feeling in his gut that something was horribly amiss with that picture. One of the men who stood close to Cristiano, lowered his torch toward the pyre, alarming Otter.

He put an arrow in his bow without thinking about it and shot the man through his head.  
A clean kill. He quickly released a second arrow into the second sentry nearby, while Flo shot the third man. The fourth and fifth quickly fell dead in the sand. Just like that, the beach was devoid of threats.

Otter didn't think about it, or how suspicious all of this seemed. He acted.

Running down to meet Cristiano he nearly tripped over his own feet.  
This reminded him of something his father used to say when he was growing up. ''People's brains stop working when they think they are going to lose someone they love,''

As usual, his father had been right. Now that Cris was in mortal danger, his brain had somehow shut down. All he saw was that sweet little boy clasping onto his hand, begging for a piggy back ride. The cheerful child that could always make him smile even after his darkest day. The boy who climbed into his bed at night when he had suffered another bad dream. How it felt to have someone to protect so fiercely. He would not lose Cristiano, not now that he had finally found him again. He would gladly die before he let that happen. 

When Otter arrived at Cristiano he noticed that he was not conscious.  
He slapped his face impatiently, a tad too hard perhaps, but he needed him to awake immediately. There was no time. Bran and Leo were in a lot of danger. ''Cris, wake up now!'' he urged. He clasped onto Cristiano's face, trying a slightly gentler approach.

The dark eyes finally slid open, with much difficulty and Cristiano eyed him with such a terrified expression that Otter instantly realized that he had wandered right into a trap. ''N-no, no what are you doing here? It's a trap!'' Cris gasped.

Two hooded figures arose from the sea, where they had been lying in wait. They removed their hoods and Otter's original brothers appeared in his sights.

 _''Hello brother,''_ one of them said, a grin on his face that would terrify even the hardest of men, ''how good of you to come by...''

 

 

 

 

 

 

_TBC.........._

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> No....not another cliffhanger. I know, I'm so horrible. *evil plan laugh*
> 
> Did you like it? Let me know. Thanks for reading and supporting this <3


	43. Mercy.

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Otter faces off against the princes in a final fight. 
> 
> Though not all is at it seems.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I'm super sorry for staying away for so long guys. I am. But I was so damn stuck on how to go on with this story. I just didn't know how I wanted this to turn out. 
> 
> It was so frustrating. I started this about twenty times but always hated how it turned out to be so I deleted it again. But somehow I managed to get back to it and I'm sort of content with the result. I'm not sure everyone will like it though. 
> 
> I love exploring the gray shades of characters, let's just keep it at that. I hope you will like it. 
> 
> I know the sword fighting scenes are shit, but as a non English speaker it's very hard to write them. I find sword fighting scenes always incredibly hard to make. I could do it in my own language but in foreign ones it's hard.

_Otter_.

 

 

 

''Get back! Or we'll slit his throat!'' Seagull threatened.

''Release him this instant!'' Otter growled, as Wolf and Seagull forced him to back away from Cristiano with the tip of their spears.  
Tipping the scales back to their favor. ''It's _me_ you want not him, let my brother go!''

''Yes we are not going to do that. Why would we? If we let him go we lose our only leverage,'' Wolf grabbed Cris by his neck and hauled it backwards with a firm tug, making Cristiano cry out in agony. ''Do you hear that pretty little whore, you are going to watch your brother die tonight. Right in front of you.  
We'll do it slowly, we will take our time. And just when you think he's finished, we will bring him back for more.  
And you know what the best part of this is. You are going to die last. After we have fucked you into obedience,''

Otter saw Cris shiver in disgust but he managed to keep his face even through his military training. Otter had never been more proud of him. ''You're not man enough to kill him,'' Cris said, voice beaming with pride.

''Is that so?'' Seagull launched his fist across Cristiano's face, splitting his lip into two. ''Know your place whore!''

''Touch my brother again and I will _end_ you,'' Otter warned, his fingers clenching onto the hilt of his sword, ready to charge. Would they ever be able to get out of this infernal place? Desperation and exhaustion settled into his bones. 

''Maybe we've been thinking about this backwards brother,'' Wolf said with a grin to Seagull, ''maybe we should fuck this one into oblivion before we kill him, just to add some more suffering to this disgustingly happy family,''

''Hmm that sounds like an _interesting_ plan, that would be a nice change,'' Seagull stroked his rough fingers over Cristiano's spine, his look nothing more than sheer ravishing. As if he wanted to devour Cristiano.

It made Otter sick to his stomach. ''I swear to all the Gods that I will cut your heads off if you dare to touch him!''

''Well I couldn't help but notice that you talk a lot brother, but there's little action to your words. A real man would save his brother, split us in two, but then again, from what we've heard you're not officially a _real_ man-are you?'' Wolf taunted.

Otter steadied himself with the greatest difficulty. This had always been a touchy subject to him, but he had to stay focuses. Not let anything distract him from getting Cris out of there in one piece.  
Control was the key. That had always been his forte but whenever the people he loved were compromised his brain would struggle. ''Why don't you come here and I'll show you what a real man does to people who harm his little brother,''

Wolf laughed mockingly. ''Please, as if you have the _balls_ for it, to actually kill your flesh and blood brothers,''

Otter gave them a steely glance. ''You are _nothing_ to me. I only have one family and you two will never be a part of it,''

''But we _are_ a part of you, our blood courses through your veins. You're like us, hard, unyielding and malicious like our father was.  
Whether you want to admit it or not. You have a darkness in you, we all do. That side you inherited from our father. You cannot deny who you are _brother_. You may have been raised as a Roman dog but you are still a son of our people,'' Seagull told him.

Otter rolled his eyes. ''Can we stop with all the manipulation and get to it? You wanted me here, you've got me. You want to fight me, let's do it,''

Wolf chuckled. ''I like him brother, a shame we have to kill him,''

''Hmm indeed,''

''Can I ask you one thing?'' Otter knew he had to keep them talking. The more time he had the better the chances that Bran and Leo would succeed in cleansing the village with Sami and his Romans.  
They could all be together soon if everything worked out in their favor. ''If you know about the prophecy that revolves around me, why would you play into its hand with all of this? You know that when the prodigal son returns home he will kill his brothers and burn this village to the ground. So why would you even challenge me? The seer said that I will beat you, put you into the cold, wet dirt. So why would you tempt fate?''

Seagull swallowed visibly, the first crack of fear on his usually unreadable features, however Wolf's face hardened. ''We don't believe in prophecies or fairytales. They are for the children. Yes it is true that we have heard of your return for years now.  
But that knowledge is now working to our advantage. We knew you were coming, so we set up a trap that will ensure our survival,''

''Um I don't see _how_ , considering that you still want to fight me,'' Otter couldn't believe how thick the brothers were.

He said thanks to the Gods for letting him grow up in Roman household, otherwise he might have ended up like a dim idiot as well. Gratefully his true father had taught him to think for himself, had learned him the values and philosophy of a modern world.

In a strange way he pitied them, for a split second. That would have been him, if his biological father hadn't exiled him as a child. He would have been this thoughtless, moronic, cruel man that would slaughter anyone who stood in his way.

And yes he had always feared the darkness that roamed inside his heart.  
On that subject they had been right, he had always worried for the dark pit in his soul that had lead him to unexpected acts of cruelty in his past. It hadn't been until he met Bran that he had truly learned to lock that part of himself down and throw away the key.

''Well as we said, we like to challenge fate. Shall we get to it then?'' Wolf licked his lips as his hand roamed over Cristiano's taught chest. It reached further down and playfully halted inches under his navel. Cris didn't even blink but Otter saw the panic in his eyes.

''If you have any shard of honor in your body you will let him go. Let's fight it out, you can fight me simultaneously if it makes you feel better. Just please...let my brother go,'' Otter pleaded.

''And what will you give us in return?''

Otter exasperated deep. ''Anything,''

Wolf pulled his hand off of Cristiano's body and exchanged a glance with his brother. ''All right, two against one it is then,''

''He walks first,'' Otter said with a nod to Cris.

''No, if you win you can release him yourself. We are not letting him wander off as long as we're alive,'' Wolf snarled.

The air grew thick around them and Otter felt the tension built in his stomach. He knew he would be able to defeat them, even if it was two against one. The prophecy said he would be victorious.  
Besides, the only fighter he knew that was equal to him was Bran.

Then why was he feeling so anxious? Why was he so convinced that he would still murder the innocent people in the village, despite of what the outcome of the fight would be. He had a horrible feeling that their fates were already sealed by him.

''A few rules, you can only pick _one_ weapon,'' Seagull told him, grinning malicious. That would tip the scales back into their favor, or so they would think.

Otter could fight with a weapon in both hands but if they thought that letting him use one would be to his disadvantage they were dead wrong. He had actually hoped they would say that. He had fought countless foes at the same time with merely one long sword or axe.

''Very well, but that also goes to you two. Just one weapon each,'' Otter negotiated.  
''Agreed,'' Seagull mumbled. Otter watched them like a hawk as they removed all their weapons from their clothing. When he was content with the result, he did the same, untying his long axe and placing his daggers into the moist sand. 

''Let me say goodbye to my brother for a moment,'' Otter demanded. His words were not met by a protest so he took that as permission.

He walked back into the shallow sea bed and cradled his arms around Cristiano. ''I'm scared for you,'' his little brother whispered in his ear as he buried his forehead against his shoulder. ''Don't be, I will be fine. I'm more concerned about you,''

''Otter,'' Cris chimed and Otter pulled back to gaze into his brother's hazelnut eyes. ''I couldn't have wished for a better brother. I was so lucky to have been raised with you. I owe you everything,''

''No Cris, I was the lucky one. The Gods blessed me the day you came into my life. The best part of my life has been to be your brother. I love you so much. Take care of Bran if anything happens to me-''

''Do not say that! You will make it. You cannot leave us, we _need_ you! Who else will keep us safe if you're not there?''

''Bran will,''

''I don't want to hear it. You _will_ come back to us. Period. I refuse to accept anything other than you surviving this,'' Cris said stubbornly. Otter smiled gently and stroked his raven hair out of his face. ''That stubbornness inside of you, you've inherited that from me,''

Otter kissed his brother's forehead and released him before their goodbye would throw off his concentration. He had to focus on the fight that lay ahead of him.

He knew that the Seal people trained their warriors exceptionally well and their princes in particular so they would definitely not go down easily. But neither would he. He had something to fight for. His family.

He pulled out uncle Aquila's long sword that was technically Bran's but he had kept it safe when Bran had disappeared with Cris and Leo.

It seemed fitting to use this family heirloom in order to protect uncle Aquila's nephew. He tested the feeling of it by swinging it left and right, to sense how heavy it was, how he could use it in the most effective way and meanwhile sizing up the princes who were pulling out two shorter swords.

Not a clever choice according to Otter. He had a long one so he would be perfectly capable of keeping them at a distance. Speed and stamina had always been his most effective qualities.

They were clearly hoping for short range combat.  
Where one could slither into his space when the other kept him occupied to stab the blade into his gut.

As he took his position in the sand in front of them the world seemed to slow down around them.  
The air was thick with the sent of upcoming thunder and rain. The sound of the waves crashing onto the rocks faded into the background, the calling of seagulls dulled, until the only thing he heard was his own heartbeat racing behind his ears. Adrenaline was pumping through his veins.

All of his senses were heightened. He had never felt more calm and nervous at the same time.

Usually he would be confident going into a fight, despite of the number of opponents he faced but today he felt off his game. Perhaps a part of him was dreading the fact that he had to murder his biological 'brothers.'

No he couldn't think like that. They had viciously raped and molested Bran, taken what was his and damaged it brutally. They deserved to pay for it. They would pay for it.  
Sword fighting was a dance. A lethal one.

It was all about anticipating the movements of your opponent, it revolved around action and reaction. He tried to size up his opposition but their faces were unreadable as ever, their features covered by the thick, gray mud. Uncle Aquila's sword lay steadily in his right hand, lying in wait.

The attack came swiftly, from the sides. He turned to avoid the blade on the left and parried the other quickly.

The sound of metal clanking onto iron arose in the air.

They were good, he had to give them that. They were quick and lethal and moved fluently like the wind. It reminded him almost a bit like his own movements.

He could barely hold them off. At one unprepared moment of stupidity, they managed to get him off his balance and on his back in the sand. Wolf kicked the sword out of his hand and grinned when he placed his onto Otter's neck, ready to slice his windpipe.

Behind him Cristiano was crying out helplessly, panting and pleading for them to spare him. That would be futile, as Otter knew. They didn't know the meaning of the word mercy. He was going to die. It only took him a split second to figure that out.

It felt strange, on one hand he had so many regrets, so many things he never said, places he had never visited, but on the other hand he felt awfully calm.  
He should have died many times already, somehow he had always slipped through the cracks of the net, but tonight the net was finally closing around him.

He thought of Bran with his radiant smile and tender kisses, he saw little Cristiano slipping into his bed after a nightmare and he watched Leo riding Moire effortlessly and gracious as if they were one soul.

He closed his eyes, because for some reason that made him feel safer.  
It was strange to realize that he was going to lose, considering the seer's prophecy and the fact that Otter had genuinely believed that he would be able to win this fight. If he hadn't he wouldn't have gone into it.

He never fought unless the odds were in his favor. That was one of his and Bran's rules.

He heard a sword being raised by the gush of air and then suddenly he heard a howl coming from behind him and two loud thumps told him that his foes were down. He opened his eyes and saw that he had been saved by Conor and little Bran.

The wolves had come for him. But they were still young and barely had enough strength to keep them down for long.

Conor was biting at Wolf's arm as he lay on top of him and Bran had jumped for Seagull's throat but had missed and settled for his shoulder instead.  
The warrior princes tried to fight the wolves off of them but their swords had fallen out of their hands in the clammer.

They had clearly been taken completely off guard by the attack.

Otter whistled at the wolves to stop them. ''Calm down boys, get off of them now. I appreciate the help but this is my fight,'' he shushed. He rose to his feet and patted them appreciatively. Their jaws were dripping with thick blood.

The wolves retreated and wandered up to Cristiano to lick his bound hands. They stood guard for him, keeping him safe. Their loyalty came without a price. 

Wolf and Seagull picked themselves up from the sand, looking utterly furious. ''You cheated!'' they accused him. ''Not technically, I didn't ask them to come, they merely showed up. Unexpected things happen during sword fights, you know this,'' Otter said evasively.

The brothers attacked him again, more vicious and thus more unfocused this time. He fended them off the best he could but they managed to deliver a few blows to him.

Until he found an opening, one that he knew would always come in each fight. Your opponent would always grow tired of offensive attacks and would be in need for some respite. That small window of time was the perfect one to start a counteroffensive.

Otter noticed the space Seagull left as his flank and that was his queue to strike. He launched forward and buried his sword deep into his lower abdomen. Wolf had cried out once when he saw his brother go down, beaming with fury.

The warm blood engulfed Otter's hands as he retrieved his sword to fend off Wolf's upcoming attack.

He could barely parry the strike. ''You-killed-my-brother!'' Wolf screamed, panting through his quick, short thrusts. All of which Otter was able to deflect-barely.

''He's not dead yet, but he will be. And so will you,'' Otter sneered back as he launched out to Wolf's head, barely missing his target.

Wolf watched Seagull bleed out and perish in front of his eyes, causing a storm to be unleashed inside of his soul. He would be unstoppable now and Otter knew it. He also knew that you should never fight in anger.

It made you sloppy, uncoordinated and distracted. This would be his time to deliver the final blow.

Wolf attacked him for a long time, thrusting and stabbing at every opening he could find.  
Otter had a few cuts on his arms now and a shallow wound on his ankle but he was mostly unharmed. Wolf however was bleeding from a head wound that Otter had given him when he caught him off guard.

He had knocked him in his face with his elbow. His arm was bleeding from the wolf charge.  
Eventually Bran managed to get Wolf onto his back in the damp sand when he trampled over a rock and lost his balance.

It was over now. He had beaten them.

He saw in Wolf's face that he knew it too. The tip of his sword pressed down onto Wolf's heaving chest. He looked absolutely horrific. Cuts and bruises everywhere and blood was oozing from his temple.

''Do it!'' Wolf rasped, pressing his chest up so that the iron was already cutting in his skin.  
Otter pulled his hand back slightly, feeling so overwhelmed by gnawing doubt and emotions that he was unable to speak. ''Guess my brother was right, you really do not have what it takes to be king of our people,'' Wolf mocked.

Otter's dark blue eyes narrowed. He turned his head to stare at Cristiano, who looked absolutely wrecked and upset.  
When he looked up to the cliffs he saw Leo and Bran standing there with the rest of the slaves.

They were covered in blood but seemed to be fine. They had completed their task. The battle was over. They were alive and well. The sunset was creeping through the clouds. A new day begun. Their first day of freedom in years. 

He gazed back at the defeated figure in front of him in the sand. He looked so pitiful like this, so small. No matter how much he hated him for what they had done to his family, killing him in cold blood seemed like a monstrous act. ''Not a king like your father, no,''

He removed the blade from Wolf's chest and sheathed his sword. ''What the hell are you doing?'' Wolf panted, clearly shocked.

''Making a choice. I _choose_ not to be the monster that you want to make me into. You deserve to die with him, don't get me wrong but it won't be at my hand.  
I will not be this man. I'm going to get my brother out of here and leave these shores, never to return. You will not come after me to look for revenge. You will stay here and rot until death finally takes you. If you dare to oppose me, I will still kill you.  
Your people have been defeated, you are the only one left now. The last remaining member of your despicable family,'' Otter said harshly. He caught Bran's gaze and noticed the beaming pride in his lover's eyes.

Wolf however would not roll over so easily. ''Am I though? The last member of my family is standing right in front of me,''

''I already told you that I'm _not_ your blood. Now tell me: where did you hide the eagle statue that your father stole from the Romans many years ago?''

Wolf rolled his eyes at him. ''Oh I have absolutely no clue as to what you are talking about. And even if I did, I would never tell you,''

''Don't make me beat it out of you,''  
''Oh no I'm going to, come on. It will be fun,'' Wolf grinned.

''You truly are insane aren't you?''  
''If you say so big brother,''

''Tell me where the eagle is! I know your people kept it somewhere,''

''We may have yes, but I'm afraid I lost it,''  
Otter grabbed Wolf by his neck and shook him hard. ''Don't be stupid, just tell me where it is!''

''Go and look for it yourself, I won't tell you anything. There is nothing you can threaten me with now, I don't fear death and you already killed the only person I cared about so you have nothing to use against me,''

Otter felt his heart sink into his stomach. ''Why don't you fear death? You are still young, what made you so suicidal?''

Wolf's eyes lowered and he swallowed hard. ''You were the lucky one you know, you got exiled. You got out of _his_ hands. We however were not so fortunate,''

Otter's heart was hammering in his chest. ''What are you talking about?''

''What do you think? Father abused us in every way possible. Took us whenever he wanted. Killed our mother when she tried to stop him.  
He literally-fucked us into obedience. Father made us like this. From his own crafted hands. Turned us into vicious animals who only know survival and cruelty. I'm the eldest so I tried to keep him safe but I failed,'' Wolf admitted with a horrified look at his dead brother in the sand.

He folded his arms together to protect himself as the memories washed over him like waves.  
Otter could literally see it in his eyes. The terror, the pain, the fear.

The little boys huddled together in a corner of the hut, shivering with anguish for what their own father might do to them next.

For a moment he could have sworn he saw a tear glistening in Wolf's dark eyes, but it was gone too quickly for him to be certain. When his face was shattered like this, it looked eerily like his own features. It was only then that it dawned on Otter what he was doing.

That he could not deny that the broken man in front of him was his actual family. Whether he liked it or not. They were blood. Tainted, poisonous blood perhaps, but still. 

Bran stood beside him a moment later, folding his hand into his, holding on tight. Sensing that he needed support as well as wisdom. Cris was being released by Leo and Sami, who looked unharmed enough.

''I am sorry,'' Otter choked out.  
''Of course you are,'' Wolf spat back.

''No I really am. Nobody deserves to be hurt by their parent like that,''

''Well I guess we do not get what we deserve in life, we merely get what we get. We should have killed ourselves years ago, we planned it but never dared to actually slid the knife over our necks,'' 

That statement sent an icy chill over Otter's spine. 

''Enough, kill him now,'' Sami ordered, eyes cold and concealed.

Otter stepped in front of Wolf without thinking it through. He had always been so bloody impulsive. _''No,''_

Sami raised a dark eyebrow. ''Excuse me?''

''I said no,''

''Otter-'' Bran started but Otter silenced him with a flick of his hand. ''Listen to me, I know why you want him dead and a part of me wants it too. For he has hurt you over the years, abused you and molested your friends and brothers.  
I understand how it feels, he raped my partner. He did horrible things. And he deserves to be punished for them. However I feel that exile would be punishment enough for his crimes.  
Death is a release for him, an escape out of this cruel life. He craves for it.   
Are we truly certain that he deserves to be freed? Would a lifetime of solitude and loneliness not be much more fitting?''

Florenzi snorted. ''Sentiment Otter? I would not have thought you would be capable of the quality,''

''It is not sentiment to spare his life, it is the worst thing we can do to him. Look at him, he is _hoping_ to die. Begging me to put him out of his misery. I say that he lives, who agrees with me?'' Otter spoke with a clear, confident voice that was devoid of feelings and yet he knew that Bran was reading him as always.

''He is a monster,'' Sami said harshly.

Otter exhaled deep. ''Yes he is, but why should he have to apologize for the monster he has become? No one ever apologized to him for making him that way. If I had not been exiled from this village I would have been exactly like him. I escaped his fate.  
If you truly wish him dead than I cannot stop you, however it will not be my hand who will swing the sword,''

Sami pondered on it a while as his soldiers were mumbling amongst their ranks. ''Let's vote on it. All in favor for him to die raise your hand,''

Sami raised his own hand and so did a few others, but the majority of the group seemed to be hesitate on how to precede. Sami grumbled and cursed under his breath. ''It's your lucky day your highness. You get to live,''

''Sami-'' Otter started but the foreigner shook his head. ''Do not insult me any further. I will gather my men and leave this shores immediately, you may go wherever you choose,''

He turned to Leo and Bran and nodded formally. ''I thank you for your help tonight, it was crucial in regaining our freedom,''  
''You're welcome,'' Leo said.

The group of soldiers shook their hands and said their goodbyes. Flo, Daniele and Francesco embraced them tight and wished them a safe journey home. Flo promised to write them once they were back in Roman territory.

They vanished nearly within the blink of an eye.

Bran's hand clenched tightly around Otter's and he leaned in to kiss him. ''I have never been more proud of you,'' he ensured him, ''only a truly _good_ hearted man would have done for him what you just did. I told you that you could never be evil at heart,''

Otter held onto him tight and fell into his lover's warm embrace. ''So,'' he heard Leo say behind him, ''what are we going to do about him?'' he asked with a nod to Wolf, who sat at Seagull's motionless body, holding onto him tight.

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

_TBC........_

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Well I hope you guys are still with me on this and that the ending wasn't too bad. I prefer Otter to be merciful for once. It didn't feel right to kill Wolf after exposing his painful past like that. Don't get me wrong I feel like he's evil and I hate how he treated my characters but I'm appealed to complex characters that are broken so much that they do bad things. 
> 
> I wanted Otter to get really conflicted about this so I hope I got that across.


	44. Sympathy for the devil.

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> The group decides on what to do with Wolf.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Omg it's been so much longer than I thought since I updated. I thought it was like a month, but it's been far longer. As always, I'm sorry to make you guys wait so long. It wasn't in my plans, but I've had massive writers block and life kept getting in the way. 
> 
> Sorry this isn't longer. 
> 
> Just a warning: this is quite a dark chapter seeing how I'm doing this from Wolf's POV, I hope you guys won't mind that. He won't play a big role in the rest of the story, but I wanted to reveal his side of things so the reader would get his perspective. Would understand why he became such a 'monster,'  
> There's talk of parent-child incest, rape and suicide. Be advised.

_Wolf._

 

 

 

Wolf had known countless, various forms of physical pain in his life, yet all of those failed in comparison to the ones he experienced at the moment. It felt as if his heart was crushed into countless pieces.  

He could barely register a coherent emotion, for he felt numb, shattered and cold to the bone. Though he always ran cold this was a different kind of iciness.   
He anxiously tried to look anywhere but at the empty eyes of his beloved brother and yet somehow his gaze kept darting off to them, pulled in by the gruesome spectacle.

His brother was _dead_.

Lying dead and defeated in his arms. Seagull's body was still slightly warm, though the blood was running colder with each passing moment. The life had evaporated from his brother's brown eyes. _Diminished_.

He barely heard the four men bickering about his fate, nor did he care much for what happened to himself. His brother was dead.  
He had failed his sacred duty to protect him.  
Failed his younger brother. The one he was sworn to keep safe at all cost. He wished it had been his own body displayed there instead. After their mother had died to shield them, Seagull had been all he had left.

They had done everything together from the moment they were born. They suffered together, endured their father's wrath together, they fought together and had always vowed to die together as well.  
But somehow, their chivalrous, thick headed big brother had decided to spare his unimportant, petty little life.  
After all he had done to him and his friends. Wolf could still barely believe that anyone could be this foolish.

One of the adolescent gray wolf pups was lurking nearby, stalking him in the shadows. He was baring his teeth and growling threateningly at Wolf, who refused to cringe for the pups.  
They were merely youngsters, though their interference had turned the scales of the fight back to Otter's favor. Without them they would have triumphed and slain Otter, Wolf was certain of it.

The wolf stalked even closer to him so that his nose was nearly aligned with Wolf's and let out a low, intimidating growl. ''Bran, enough. Come here,'' a deep voice chided and the wolf instantly obeyed and retreated. He sat besides the one armed soldier and licked his hand.

''Perhaps you should have let him finish it,'' Wolf sneered, unable to hold his tongue much longer.

The smallest of the group, the ferocious Gaelic one raised a brown eyebrow. ''Do you truly have so little regard for your own life?''

Wolf shrugged his shoulders in a poor attempt to seem careless. ''My brother _died_ , I have nothing left worth living for any longer. I swore to him that we would die together. Therefore my time is up, I've made my peace with that. Besides, I already should have died many times before. I cheated the gods of fate long enough,''

Otter crouched down beside him, looking pensive and calm. ''But you're _not_ dead yet. You were spared for a reason.  
My father, the Roman who raised me, he believed that it was never too late for a man who made poor choices to change and start making the right ones.  
He taught me to see the good in people, even if they had done evil things. He said that hate was born from fear and that every man was capable of committing horrible acts.  
But he also reasoned that even the most horrible people could return from that and become good again. What I'm so poorly trying to explain is that when my father died on the battlefield I committed unforgivable acts of cruelty as well.

''Killed people at the most grotesque ways you can imagine. And it felt good. So good. The sheer revenge tasted as sweet as honey. Sweeter even. However when the adrenaline wore off and realization of what I had done hit me I noticed that a few of the warriors I killed were young boys.  
Barely old enough to grow a beard.  
They were seal people. I bashed their skulls in with a rock, mutilated them-'' he swallowed thickly and closed his damp eyes for a moment, ''-I did that. Me. Broke their limbs with my bare hands.  
Cut off their hands and feet with my axe. I have never told this to anyone, not even my partner Bran, who I found on the battlefield later. I feel ashamed that I did that. Horribly so. But I cannot take it back. There is such darkness in me, like there is in every human being. We all have both light and dark inside of us. All that matters though is which side we choose to act upon,''

Wolf felt himself smile involuntarily as the warmth of the memory engulfed him like a blanket. ''Do you recall that mother used to say that?''

Otter looked aghast. ''What are you talking about?''

''The whole lecture about dark and light, she used to tell us that before we went to sleep. I guess she taught you the same lesson. Do you remember her at all?''

Otter swallowed thickly and shook his head. ''No, I wish I did. What was she like?''

''She was a good mother, she loved us fiercely. She used to sing us to sleep. Her brown hair used to gleam in the sun. I liked to pull on her braid until I drove her mad. When we were very little, she carried us around the village in two big bags of seal skin. One of us on her back, the other at her chest. She was proud of us,''

''Did she ever-speak of me?''

Wolf nodded fervently. ''Yes, all the time actually. She had never forgiven father for mutilating you and sending you away from us.  
We envied you in a way.  
You had gotten away from him, yes you were cut and discarded like a stray dog, but at least you were _free_. He couldn't harm you any longer. Alas, we were not so lucky,'' he revealed a piece of bare skin on his back and heard his brother gasp in disgust. ''By all the gods, this is-'' Otter's voice was raw with fury.

''Cruel yes. There is not a part of skin on my body that isn't riddled with scars of what he did to us. He certainly enjoyed torturing us, mostly me seeing how I offered myself to him so that my brother wouldn't have to suffer. You see the thing he loved most was branding us, as you can tell by these circular scars.  
Mutilating us in the middle of the night when we were fast asleep, terrifying us with one of his scorching iron pokes. Burning us until we cried and screamed for mercy that never came. Sometimes he fucked us with that bloody hot stick if he felt that we had misbehaved, burning us on the inside. He used to laugh while he did it, I can still hear it whenever there is silence around me.  
Seagull sometimes used to wonder if we had grown up differently if mother had not died to save us. If we had grown up as better people. I doubt it, evil thoughts course through our veins.  
It's in our blood. We are who we are. You won the fight, thus you must kill me, even if you do not want to. Blood must have blood,''

Otter frowned. ''I still do not understand why you agreed to fight me, considering the seer told you that you would both die if you tried me. Why tempt fate unless you-'' he halted in the midst of his sentence as realization dawned on him, ''-you were _hoping_ I would kill you both. That's why you were foolish enough to challenge me. This was a suicide mission,''

''Very good brother, you've figured it out. Yet now we find ourselves at an impasse don't we? What is to be done with me?''

''We're _not_ killing you,'' Otter decided instantly. His voice left no room for debate. His word came with such power that even his companions did not question him.

''No? How noble of you,'' Wolf mocked, grinning vigorously to antagonize his brother even further.  
''Can you take us to the eagle statue we are looking for?''

''I could, but will I? I think not,''

''So you do know where it is,'' Otter concluded triumphantly. Wolf swore under his breath. He had misspoken and now his brother had the reins in his hands.

''Yes, I know where it is. You can find it yourselves if you go into the cave closest to the sea. It's nearly impossible to miss,''

''Go see if he's telling the truth,'' Otter barked out to the other three men.

''What about him?'' Bran wanted to know.

''I will watch him. Go on Cris, find father's treasure. You deserve it after all we've gone through to get it,'' Otter said to his other brother, the pretty Roman one. He stepped closer to Otter and embraced him fiercely. They mumbled something in Roman that went beyond Wolf's comprehension.

He found himself envying them, the closeness of their brotherly relationship. It stung to realize that he would never again have that with his own brother. Not even Otter would ever hold him in high regard, let alone give him a hug. He despised him and had good cause for that.

''Bran, Conor, stay,'' the Roman one said when they were through debating whatever it was. The wolves complained for a moment but eventually obeyed.

As the three took off and disappeared over the hill, Otter hauled Wolf to his feet. ''You need to run-now. Before they return,''

Wolf stared at his brother, jaw faltering with revulsion. ''I'm not running anywhere until I've sent my brother on his way. He needs a proper burial at sea, that is our tradition. I'm going to build him a raft and carry my brother back to the water. I'm not leaving him here like this,''

''Then run and hide until we have left. When we have, you come back to give him his burial. You don't understand Wolf, they are going to _kill_ you. I want to protect you but they outvoted me.  
They all want to oblige you in your desire to die. Bran voted no at first because he knows I don't want to do this, but now that he's heard what you've been through he feels that it would be cruel to keep you alive when you do not want to be.  
After all you've endured they say it's best to put you out of your misery. I cannot protect you from them, don't you understand that?''

''I never _asked_ for your bloody protection now did I? You have to let me go. The one thing you can do for me and my brother is to give us the burial we need to cross the other side. Put us on a raft and send us back to the sea. That is the only help I want from you,'' Wolf argued.

He knew he was being ungrateful, but he needed it all to be over. He wanted to cross to the other side, where there was no more pain, no more unhappiness in his life. Where Seagull would be waiting for him with open arms.

''By the gods, are you always this argumentative and pigheaded?''

_''Always,''_

Otter grinned briefly. ''I guess it's a family trait. But will you please just do what I ask. Run and come back when it's safe. They won't pursue you, I promise,''

''Why are you so keen on keeping me alive? What is your goal in all of this?''

''Killing one of my brothers was gruesome enough. Why would I kill the second one when he's already dead. I want to believe that even someone like you can come back, even if it's an illusion to hope for it,''

Wolf scoffed. ''You're a romantic, I never would have guessed,''

Otter clung to him and shook him impatiently. ''Just get out of here will you? Please?''

Wolf chewed on the inside of his cheek, doubting on what to do. He wanted to hate Otter for his chivalrousness, but instead all he felt was a hint of gratitude that at least someone still cared whether he lived or died. Otter saw him. All of him.

He did not hate him, despite the horrid things he had done to his partner and his family. Wolf reasoned that he probably had the biggest heart he'd ever seen in anyone. Otter had gone through great lengths to spare his life, perhaps he should not waste that gift.  
Maybe he should choose life instead of death.

''You have a kind heart brother, someday it will get you killed,'' Wolf eventually said.

Otter shrugged. ''Maybe so, but like you I do not fear death. Truth is that somedays I find myself longing for it. Despite the fact that I have everything I need to be content with my life. I have an amazing partner, a good family and for the first time in my life, a home to return to. And yet the silence of death allures me.  
For when I shut my eyes at night, I see their faces. All the men I've killed.  
They come screaming back to me, asking me why I couldn't be merciful. I've had a knife to my wrists countless times but Bran was always there to pull me back to the light. I want to do the same for you. Offer you a chance to create a better life for yourself. To be a better man. It's not too late yet, not even for you,''

''Do you honestly _believe_  any of that?''

Otter nodded solemnly as he clasped onto Wolf's hand. The pressure of his giant hand was comforting and yet foreign. ''I do, I wish you did too,''  
''Mother would be very proud of you,'' Wolf heard himself say. Otter's dark blue eyes widened. ''Do you think so?''

''No I don't think it, I know it. If she could see you right now, she would be very proud of the man you've become,''  
''Thank you,''

Wolf placed his hand on top of Otter's and squeezed their conjoined hands briefly. ''Maybe I'll see you in another life, brother,''

When he released Otter, his brother smiled sad. ''Maybe, stay out of trouble all right?''

''I'll try,'' Wolf smirked.

He turned on his heels and ran. The wolves were howling behind him, but Otter managed to keep them with him.

When he reached the top of the hill, he briefly turned around to look at his older brother. Seagull's lifeless body was still lying in the sand, where it would remain unscathed, he had faith in that. Otter would not break his word, he would leave it there for him.

It was strange to see him standing there, so powerful a warrior, looking so utterly defeated. Otter may be a highly trained killer, in his heart he would rather be anything else.  
Wolf was quite positive that Otter would rather spend his days tending to sick animals, spreading kindness around instead of misery. His brother was a good man, which made saying farewell to him surprisingly hard.

What made it even more painful was that Otter was the last family he had left. If he ran from him now, he would truly be alone. There would be no one left who gave a damn about him.

He swallowed when Otter raised his hand to greet him. After he had forced the lump in his throat to dissolve, he turned on his heels and ran as fast as the wind could carry him.

Wolf made it to his secret cavern by the pool that his mother used to take them to when they were children.  
He knew that Otter and his family would be able to find him if they tried very hard, but he doubted that they would.

He would lay low for a while and when he was certain they had left, he would sent Seagull on his way. He would climb on top of the raft with him and let the waves consume them both. As he had promised Seagull.

After all, it was better to die and see his brother again than it was to stay alone forever...

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

_TBC......_

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So, this chapter took me all day to write and I'm still not completely satisfied with it. But I hope it serves its goal. That is to get some sympathy for the devil, in a way. I'm sorry I didn't write about one of my main characters, I will do that in the upcoming chapters. 
> 
> I hope it's not too unbelievable that Otter let him go. I feel that it fits his personality to do such a thing, especially for his flesh and blood. 
> 
> Let me know what you think okay. Thanks for reading! <333


	45. The four horsemen.

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> The aftermath of what happened in the village still affects the group as they are on their way home. 
> 
> Especially Bran finds it hard to deal with what happened to him there. Or that Otter set the man who raped him free.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I'm so-so sorry for being away since July! Omg I hadn't realized that it had been this long since I updated. I hate it when I have to wait for updates so I can't even imagine what you guys went through. This isn't the longest chapter, because I don't have more time to write today, but I still wanted to post something. Even if it's not perfect. 
> 
> I hope I'm describing Leo's emotions after his years of slavery right. I can't really know what being a slave is like but watching series as Rome did help some. 
> 
> I called this the four horsemen because all four brought something bad to the world and something more is coming for our characters. And I think they sort of all resemble one of them, why don't you tell me which character you think is which horsemen.

_Leo._

 

 

 

 

''You've been rather quiet lately,'' Leo stated, glancing cautiously at Otter from Moire's back.  
Otter frowned innocently. ''Have I been?''

''Yes, it's been _really_ disconcerting,''

''Leo,'' Bran warned, who rode in front of them besides Cristiano. Bran's voice was beaming with unquestionable authority, but Leo heard the tremble in it.

''What? You cannot tell me that you haven't noticed it, we all have. He's been sulking ever since he let that monster slip away,''

''Leo! That's quite enough from you little one,'' Bran chided, giving him his typical death stare that he had used when Leo was growing up.  
One look from those ice cold eyes was enough to turn Leo's stomach and make him swallow involuntarily.  
He nearly heard himself gulp like he had when he was a little boy and Bran was mad at him. He had always hated it to be at the receiving end of his brother's anger.

Pressing the issue would be unwise and yet Leo had never truly known when to let things rest. So he decided not to and pursued his tirade. ''I'm merely trying to help him, perhaps if he talks to us about it he won't be fretting so much,''

''Do I need to get over there to smack you?'' Bran retorted sharp, voice deep and devoid of all affection.

''No Bran,'' Leo said obedient, as he rolled his eyes at Cristiano, who smirked briefly but wisely had decided to stay out of this brother battle. Cris would only intervene if it would get out of hand. He was political like that.

''Then shut your big mouth and focus on something else,''

''Bran, I do not need you to chastise your little brother on my behalf, I'm perfectly capable of handling him on my own,''  
Otter thankfully decided to intervene before the two brothers could bicker until everyone's ears would be bleeding. Neither Bran nor Leo knew when to give up during a debate.

It had been four days since Wolf had somehow _''miraculously''_ escaped from Otter's sight and the atmosphere between the four of them had been really tense. Leo remembered it all too well.  
He had helped Cristiano and Bran slip into the cave where they found the eagle statue, resting on a wooden pole. He recalled the glistening moistness in Cris' eyes when he carried the statue in his arms. The sheer pride Leo saw was overwhelming and endearing at the same time.

This was the last memory of his father's beloved honor. Both of their fathers had died for that bloody thing. Leo's entire family was wiped out over it.

Now that Leo finally saw it, he had somehow imagined it to be larger and more impressive than it was. It was nearly anticlimactic.  
Cris assured him that it would look much shinier and impressive when he would polish it up a bit, but Leo doubted that he would ever be impressed with anything Roman, well other than Cris himself obviously.

The bloody thing was much heavier than it looked, being solid gold and Cris limped visibly when he carried it back up the hill. Leo knew he was struggling with it due to his bad leg but he knew better than to suggest to take over.  
Cris had waited for this all his life and nobody would be able to steal that moment away from him.

When they returned to where they left Otter and Wolf, only Otter remained in their sights.  
He had a bloody bruise to his forehead and told them that Wolf had knocked him out and ran off. Bran inspected the wound with a lot of disapproving glares but he said nothing to discredit his partner.

Leo wasn't certain he could have done that if he had been in Bran's position, but he admired it as much as he thought it was eerily weak.

Leo was beyond furious at Otter for setting his raping brother free, as was Cristiano.  
Even Bran was holding a grudge against Otter for releasing Wolf, Leo could tell. He knew his brother well enough to read his emotions fallible.

Bran may have acted the same as usual but the lack of love in his eyes betrayed him. Bran was still highly loyal though, so he pretended to be behind Otter every step of the way but Leo knew he would have rather killed Wolf with his own sword.  
But Bran loved Otter far too much to hold it against him. He was a man who forgave everything you did if he cared for you. You could get away with pretty much anything. But to Leo, that didn't make it right.

Otter had been disturbingly silent and had taken a habit of scouting their surroundings when he thought the rest wasn't looking.  
Leo knew that he was looking for Wolf, trying to pick up a pair of footprints that indicated that Wolf was following them and therefore still alive.

Leo could care less whether that animal was breathing or not, but he hated how his precense had changed the dynamics in the group. He had ruined everything. The entire journey home was constantly affected by what had happened four days ago.

Even in his absence Wolf was still echoing in everyone's mind. He still existed to all of them, haunting their every step.

For they were all on edge. Leo calculated that that would stay like that until they would reach the safety of the wall, knowing uncle Aquila's villa would soon be in sight. Where their own bed would be waiting for them.  
The comfort of a warm hearth, a nice chalice of wine and Stephanos' amazing cooking. Leo was already craving for some alone time with Cristiano. He had been more than ready to finally take that final step with him, to make love to him at last.  
But now was not the time, the road was long and filled with danger. And they had already been weakened by the journey in, therefore Leo was truly anxious to run into more hostile tribes or wild animals that could kill them.

This journey had to be worth it, they had to make it back alive.  
Bran had already lost his arm to get to this point, they had lost Maeve. They couldn't afford to lose more.

They had obtained the eagle, which was a relief, but to Leo the bloody statue had not been worth it. His brother had been raped to get to that statue. Molested. Dishonored.

To Leo it was hard not to lay blame on Cristiano for that.  
If he had not dragged them along on this foolish errant, his brother would still have two arms and would not have been defiled.

Bran had volunteered to come along, it was his own stupid fault to jump in front of that arrow, that was a mantra he kept repeating in his mind, but a tiny part of him silently blamed Cris for it. Even though he knew he shouldn't. It wasn't fair to do that.

Sadly, none of it had been fair. Leo's entire life had been unfair and sometimes seemed to be one disaster followed by another. Leo blamed the world for all it's cruelty.

''He's not there,'' Leo quipped when he saw Otter's blue eyes preening through the vast tree-line. ''Who isn't?'' Otter asked, surprised. ''Wolf, he is not following us. I know that's who you're looking for. You do it all day long, though you don't realize it,''

_''I wasn't-''_

''Do not take me for a fool, I have eyes don't I? The scenery isn't _that_ exhilarating, it's merely rows of trees, lakes and razor sharp rock formations. Ergo, you're looking for your brother,'' Leo snapped.

''Leo! Enough now!'' Bran's voice lashed through the air like a whip. He halted his horse and stared harshly at his little brother.

Leo wasn't in the mood to obey Bran, not now.  
So he halted Moire and gave Bran a death stare that probably equaled his own, for his brother seemed to shrink under it. ''Oh do shut up Bran, I don't take orders from you. He doesn't need you to fight his battles for him, he just said that. So stay out of this!''

''You are going to ruin everything little brother,'' Bran warned.

Leo huffed. ''You have the pretense wrong brother: everything is already screwed up. And the worst thing about it is that you three act as if nothing ever happened out there. Like we didn't just bury my sweet Maeve inside the woods.  
As if you haven't lost your arm along with your dignity. Haven't we lost enough? We cannot keep pretending that nothing has ever happened to us in that village. Ignoring it and acting as if we are all happy with one another is not going to help. We don't need to bury our feelings. Say them out loud, for God's sake! I cannot stand all this hypocrisy.  
You are mad at yourself for letting Wolf go. You worry about him, despite of all he did to us,'' he said as he pointed furiously at Otter. ''And you are afraid to even look me in the eye because you think that I blame you for everything that has happened along the way,'' he said as he turned to Cris. ''And you brother, are mad at the entire world. But mostly at yourself for even coming along. You will never admit to it, but I know the truth.  
Despite all your self sacrifice, deep down you resent coming with us.  
If you hadn't you would still have two arms, you wouldn't have been raped by those vile monsters.  
You are furious at the world for hitting you this hard. And you should be. But now you know how I have felt all my life. So tell me brother, how did it feel? To have all your hopes and dreams taken away from you.  
To be reduced to nothing more than a whisper in the wind? How did it feel to be a _whore_ like me?''

Bran nearly tumbled off his horse's back, but Leo who saw him paling, managed to steady his brother when his feet his the ground.

He cradled him in his arms and held him tight. ''You cannot keep pretending that this never happened to you. That it hasn't affected you. You have to let us in a little. Let us help you. Pretending it did not happen, only makes it worse, I know that for sure. When they raped me on a daily basis, I was all alone Bran, I had no one to comfort me.  
But you will always have us.  
You have barely eaten, you don't sleep and you can't let Otter kiss you or hold you longer than two seconds because you are afraid you might burst out into tears. You're my big brother and I love you with all my heart.  
Seeing you like this is destroying me.  
You have to let us in-please. Trust us enough to let us take care of you for a change. You cannot keep carrying the worries of the world on your shoulders alone, let us take over for a bit.  
We can handle the weight, we are strong enough. You need to trust us, we are the people who love you the most in this entire world,'' Leo whispered gently. He held his wailing brother in his arms until he had cried until he had no more tears to shed. Cris and Otter stood by silently, arms joined. Leo didn't need to look at them to know that they were grieving too.

Even the animals were silent. Bran and Conor sat with them, licking their hands and offering all the support they could give. In that moment Leo truly felt the loss of Maeve ripping through his heart. She had been their little girl, the one of all the pups who he had been closest to, who he loved more than anything.  
She was special. And now she wasn't there to comfort him when his heart was being cut with a dagger. Moire was lingering nearby like a comforting, towering shadow.

''It will get better, eventually. Overtime. But the memory of it will never truly leave you,'' Leo explained, as he caught Bran wiping his eyes quickly. ''I'm scared Leo,'' Bran choked out, voice hoarse.

''Of what?''  
''That I'll always be scared,''

''You won't be, it will get lighter. That burden in your chest will subside. But it takes time. When I was still a slave, I was constantly afraid too, whenever I heard a noise I jumped up, terrified of what would happen next.  
However, overtime I grew less and less afraid, mostly because I no longer cared whether I lived or died. I was indifferent to what they would do to me, because I no longer felt anything anymore. I wasn't even human at one point.  
I became an object. At one time I nearly forgot my own name. I became no one. I had no free will, never made any decision of my own. Everything was decided for me. When to eat, when to sleep, when to smile, when I was to be fucked.  
When they hurt me with their whips. I gave up. They beat you into obedience.  
But when my last master threatened to use me in an orgy I broke. I awoke from my silent slumber and decided to rebel.  
So I poisoned his soup but failed to kill him thanks to the slave he used to taste all the food before he ate it. He sent me to the arena to die, but surprisingly I was saved by Cristiano's mercy. But do you know what the worst thing about it is?''

Bran shook his head, looking distraught. ''That a part of me will always be tied by the chains I wore when I was a slave. That piece of me will never truly vanish. Even as a free man without shackles, I'll always bear the mark of captivity on my soul.  
A part of me even misses it sometimes, to not be able to have to make any decisions and be punished for them.  
As a slave you have no saying, therefore you cannot make any mistakes. Every now and then I find myself longing for that because as a free thinking man, I have so many faults. I ruin so many things and I'm the one who pays the price, not my master. It's no one's fault but my own. There is a certain peace in not being held accountable for anything, as ridiculous as that sounds,''

''It doesn't sound ridiculous Leo, it sounds very logical,'' Bran disagreed. His hand wandered through Leo's hair, messing it up on purpose to calm him. A gesture he always turned to when Leo had been upset as a child. Leo felt his heart swell up by the kindness in his brother's voice.

He lifted his hand to cradle Bran's rough, unshaven cheek. ''The world will always hurt you, there is no escaping from it. But we Cunoval men will endure, we always have. We're too strong to break, we will bend but never break.  
You taught me that. It was due to your lessons that I survived captivity.  
If I was raised by a lesser man I would have slit my own wrists moments after being sold into slavery. I wanted to, many times. But I didn't want to destroy your memory, I thought you were dead and nothing frightened me more than thinking that my big brother could see me fall apart from the afterlife. You raised me to be a survivor. So I _lived_ , thanks to your training.  
You cannot let this burden consume you whole, rip you into two. You do not have to bear this alone. We are all here for you. You merely have to accept our hand and let us pull you out of the ashes back into the light,''

Bran nodded solemnly and collected Leo close to his chest as he let out his sadness. ''You speak clever words little one and I'm grateful for your loyalty, however you are also guilty at creating this tension with the four of us,''

Leo frowned offended. ''What are you talking about?''

''You seriously think that we haven't noticed your passive aggressive reactions to what happened in that village for the past four days? I've told you a million times Leo: you wear your heart on your sleeve. You cannot ever mask your emotions.  
I've seen how angry you are at all of us. You're mad at Cris for dragging us out here to find the eagle, you are resenting me for not leading you better, for losing my arm and you're furious at Otter for releasing Wolf, who you wanted to kill for what he has done. Blood must have blood, that is the oldest rule in our tribe. You complain about the atmosphere while you are as guilty for creating it as the rest of us are. And you are not truly angry at us for all of this, you are afraid. You always turn quite grumpy and resentful when you have too much to lose.  
And so you lash out, like a wounded animal while in fact, it's just fear. You cannot fool me Leo, I held you in my arms from the moment after you were born. I know you better than you know yourself.  
We are so close now, to being back home, to being safe that the closer we get the more afraid you become. Because you are so certain that we will all die ten steps before we reach the wall,''

''Well with our luck that is surely going to happen,'' Leo grumbled angrily. He hated it, how Bran always knew what he was thinking before he knew it. He could never hold secrets for his older brother. It was as frustrating as it was reassuring.

Cris leaned down to clasp Leo's hand into his own and slowly placed a gentle kiss to his knuckles. ''That is not going to happen Leo, I promise you. We will not die in vain, I won't let anything happen to you,''

''You think I care about my own safety? And here I thought you knew me! I'm worried about everyone else!'' Leo exploded.  
Cris didn't even so much as blink to his outburst. He simply smiled and kissed Leo's cheek. ''I know you are. But we do care about your safety, I will not lose you. I would rather leave the eagle lying in the dirt than to lose you,''

''Gee I'm touched,'' Leo snorted dryly. ''Don't be a brat,'' Cris grinned. Leo could never resist that smile and gave Cris his first real kiss in days. ''Damn you and your stupid, insatiable smile,''

''I love you too Leo,''  
''Hmm, I don't deserve you,''

''Nor I you,''  
''Don't say that,''

''Fine, as long as you don't either. That is the man of my life you're insulting there,'' Cris beamed. He wrapped his arms around Leo and kissed him passionately, deeper than he had in a while. Leo's head was spinning deliciously.

''Bran-''  
''I heard it too,''

''Break it up ladies, we have company,'' Otter snapped. Leo heard the sound of metal sliding free, indicating that Otter had grabbed his axes and Bran his sword.

As twilight set in over the hills, the thumping noises came closer, moving the earth with each coming step...

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

_TBC........_

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So, I'm dying to hear your thoughts, if anyone is still interested in this that is. 
> 
> We are reaching the end of this story soon. Maybe 4 chapters remaining. It's been a long road, but a nice one.


End file.
